Oh boy this is a weird one. The first half of this is some vent writing I did weeks ago, the second half is some vent writing I did tonight. Both are part of the Empty Vessel concept, more context in chapter 30 but the tldr is: techno is sadge about how people treat him and allows the Blood God to control his body instead, at the price of his own autonomy
"You're not him, are you?"
Technoblade's eyes have always been red. Dream knows they have. But they used to be the kind of red that felt synonymous with life. Freshly spilled blood and slow sunsets and the catching of light at dawn. Real things, things you could find comfort in.
Now, their red has spilled over and swallowed the white and black and there's nothing aside from hollowness. Barren plains.
"No. we are what's left of him though," the thing wearing Technoblade's skin says. And even the voice is off, all wrong. As if trying to mimic something but unable to quite grasp it. Dream wants to scream, cry, tear into himself.
It's not my fault, he thinks. Technoblade knew him, knew what he wanted. Dream never lied to him or pretended otherwise. It's the people who did, they're to blame for this.
(You killed him, a much harsher voice inside him says. Or worse, he killed himself and you stood by and watched)
"What do you mean 'what's left'?"
The Blood God stretches, an endless shadow. An animal. Dream can't get used to the way it moves: choppy, uncoordinated. A newborn fawn on unsteady legs trying to learn how to walk. Every inch betraying that it's not supposed to. Crudely moving Techno's body around like a fucking puppet. Dream wants to look away but finds he can't.
"This is all that's left," it repeats simply and spreads the arms of a husk it has inhabited. "The empty vessel."
"No, I mean- Fuck! What about him? Bring him back!" It makes him sick thinking about it. "I know he's still in there, I know you're lying. If you're just pulling the strings then you can… stop doing that."
He doesn't think it will work. There's no way it'll work.
Except the god stares at him for a moment, a blank slate of expression. Wearing Technoblade's face like an ill-fitting mask. Dream hates it - hates that he still can't look away.
"As you wish," it says.
And Technoblade falls. A house of cards collapsing in on itself, a shadow play when you douse the fire and there's nothing anymore. Dream curses and catches him before his body can hit the ground and if he thought the Blood God's endless pits of crimson were bad then he was wrong. Anything would be preferable to this.
Preferable to Techno's eyes glazed over as they are now. The faintest pulse, the barely moving of his chest with breath.
Dream nearly pukes at the realization that he's practically holding a corpse.
Then Techno blinks, mouth stretching into a grin as his eyes bleed red again. "How cruel you are," the god inhabiting him says. "To deny our conduit its final wish. It only became what you all wanted from it. Is that not enough? Must you continue to torture him?"
Guilt claws through Dream's gut like a blaze but that still won't keep him from asking. "W-what?"
It presses nails into his arm, leans in close. Dream can't let go, he just can't.
"Have you considered perhaps he does not want to return?"
(he wants to insist its a lie but can't)
Again, Dream balks. He pushes away, kicks and scratches and it laughs with Techno's voice but that too sounds hollow like all the rest, unreal.
"If only you mortals hadn't convinced him being useful as a weapon was his only worth to you," it says with mirth. "Perhaps he would have stuck around."
Phil knows he should not have left.
He does not regret it, selfish as it was. He recognizes there was no other path he could have taken. But he left because he failed as a father, and he returns because he does not want to fail as a friend.
If Dream's word is to be trusted, it might already be too late.
The Blood God greets him with no reservations, with an unguarded amusement that plagues the divine who come in touch with those unlike them often enough. It is a disarming sort of fascination. Phil is reminded of Wilbur in their garden in summer, studying insects under the magnifying glass they'd found at the market. He is intimately familiar with this play - His Lady Death could not be more a concept outside his realm. But she looked upon him kindly. Technoblade had always been stuck with the crueler one of their two patrons.
"Angel. The conduit told me you had left."
And how Phil hated hearing that tone, that infliction of casual disinterest coming out of Techno's mouth.
"I did. It has been half a year."
"That long..." It pokes at a wound still bleeding. Gods do not feel pain, not even when inhabiting a mortal body. Techno's body - which could be pushed and pulled and broken without care because if it was done, it would find a new conduit to carry the burden. The Blood God is at its very essence a parasite.
"I want you to hand him back now," Phil says.
Its glare falls on him, cold. "We have not stolen what isn't ours. We have not taken what isn't ours. He belonged to us before any of you were even a thought conceived within his mind."
Right, right, the whole 'possessiveness' thing. Phil forgot about that.
"You're aware of what I mean," he says. "It's been a few months, you've had your fun. But we both know you won't be able to keep this up forever without destroying the vessel. Do you want to go through the trouble of finding a new conduit when you're so fond of this one?"
It approaches him, but Phil has never been scared of Technoblade and that isn't about to change. No matter who is pulling the strings.
"You know nothing."
"Tell me, then."
Because there is no such thing that appeals to a god as allowing them to feel superior.
But the speech Phil is waiting for - about deific ownership and a contract signed in death - does not come. Instead, the Blood God stands across from him with a body language so unlike Techno's, shoulder's back and stance open and not at all apprehensive of what the world will throw his way. And it frowns.
"You were special to him, so in return we shall be candid with you. We shall not release him, because you do not deserve him. He is happier now. And after all he did for us, we do not desire to see him suffer again."
Dream's words echoed harshly in Phil's mind. Techno's last thoughts before he signed himself away. Phil should never have left.
"You're..." Phil swallows. "You're protecting him? From us?"
"From you, from himself, from the world." It pulls back a cloak to reveal the wounds oozing beneath. Techno's flesh does not heal anymore, not when occupied by a god. "He will not notice when we break him. He will simply cease to be, and thus remain at peace forever."
Phil feels his veins run cold. "And what if I don't want that to happen."
The Blood God rocks on its feet, shakes its head and becomes impatient. "Hm, no, I don't think we bother much with what you want, do we?"
"What about what Techno wants?"
"Did we not just tell you he was happy?" they snap at him, vicious.
"Yes, but is it what he wants?"
Phil is surprised when it seems to hesitate because he was truly grasping at straws there. It tilts and thinks and then it relents. "Fine. We shall ask him what he wants, if you vow to respect the answer."
Scared, uncertain, unrelenting - Phil nods.
It closes its eyes and for a few seconds, Phil is standing there not breathing, not thinking, not able to do much beyond exist without breaking down. Then it opens its eyes and looks at him, perturbed. Phil does not hide his reaction.
"Know that you are lucky," the god says as it walks over to him again, "because he cares more about your happiness than he does his own."
Phil is so, so selfish. "I know," he says.
Taking his answer for what it is, the Blood God leans into him. "Catch."
And just like that its presence fades, leaving only the unconscious body behind. Phil lowers Techno onto the ground carefully, before sitting at his side because he knows it might be hours before he wakes up. If he wakes up.
So he takes Techno's hand in his own and waits, trying not to think about how horrible a person this might have made him.
Fun fact: Did you know that I'm on Tumblr and Twitter both? Same username on all social media uwu