"I swear I couldn't love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow."
— Leo Christopher
Dave sat, hunched over in the hard plastic chair. He was certain that chair held a permanent outline of his body. Night had fallen over the hospital and he hadn't moved from his place next to Erin's bed. Officially, she had been in a coma barely 35 hours. According to the doctor she was a 4 on the Glasgow Coma Scale. She wouldn't open her eyes, but jerked in response to pressure or pain.
"Alright, Bella. We're done here." Dave said, a sudden determination filled him. "Time to start healing so you can wake up and talk to me." He went to the end of her bed and took her socks off and rubbed her feet to help her circulation. He didn't know if it would help, but he couldn't stand feeling so helpless. He had to do something to rouse her. "After all, we have a lot to discuss." He continued talking, he looked for any sign that she was listening to him. "Right now, you're scoring in the same league as a toaster. Cara, you can do better than that." He goaded her, clearly being nice wasn't having any effect.
"You know I hate those Italian nicknames."
"You only hate it when I call you that because you think I've said that to other women." He said and worked his way up her calf, "I haven't."
"I call bullshit."
"You don't have to believe me." He continued his monologue and put the sock back on her left foot.
Continuing the massage on the right. Suddenly, her ankle jerked against his hand. Harder and more obvious than before. Startled, he laid her foot back down on the bed and hurried to her side."Erin?" He begged and grabbed her hand, willing her to squeeze him back. "Come on, Bella!" He encouraged her, covering her hand with both of his. "Come back to me, so I can take you home."
"I'm trying...David, I'm trying." She still felt so heavy, her thoughts were like concrete in her head, nothing made any sense.
"Please don't leave. I'm almost there." She begged, clawing her way back to consciousness, out of the quick-sand her mind had become. Suddenly, she noticed she had some control of her body. She squeezed his hand slightly, praying that he noticed.
Dave watched her face, anxiety caught his chest. He needed to stay strong for her but his strength was running out. "Come on, Babe. You can do it." He lifted her hand and placed her palm against his cheek, she still smelled like lotion. He took a deep breath, inhaling her scent, eventually the smell would fade. For now, he wanted to hold on to everything he could that would remind him of her, before Curtis took her away completely. He closed his eyes, imagining the times when she would hold his face, just like this. Happier days, spent in the real world, away from the BAU. He opened his eyes and glanced down. Pulling her hand away from him, he saw something. He could barely hold back his temper. The sonofabitch, Curtis, branded her. A jagged cut on her wrist in a figure-8. Ever so gently, he brushed over the cut with the pad of his thumb. "Does that hurt?"She jerked away in response.
"Yeah, I know it does." He kissed her hand gently. " I'll be right back."
"Come on, don't leave. Please don't leave." Her silent pleading went unnoticed. Her brain felt heavy, sleep was imminent and she had one chance to prove herself before she lost all consciousness.
He jogged to the Nurse's Station and texted Hotch on the way, explaining what he'd found.
"I'll send a nurse in to clean it, in a minute." The unit clerk said, peering over her glasses.
"I can do it." Dave offered. He flashed her a grin, attempting to charm her. "With the right supplies."
The clerk blushed and handed over a first aid kit.
He took what he needed and hurried back to Erin's side. "Nobody is going to hurt you again," Dave promised. Lifting her hand off the bed, he flipped open the first aid kit and retrieved a pair of tweezers and inspected the wound. He sat the tweezers to the side and activated the flashlight on his phone. Slivers of glass shown prominently under the light, Dave wanted to pull them out but it was going to hurt.
"Alright, Babe." He said, steeling himself. "I'm going to pull this out, try not to flinch."
"Flinching is exactly what I want to do! Dammit, David why can't you see that I'm here!"
He grabbed a roll of tape out of the first aid kit and ripped off a piece. Placing the tape
over the wound, he hoped to draw out the glass in the most painless way possible.
"I thought you said it was going to hurt."
Dave ripped off the tape and inspected it under the light, comparing the tape to her wrist. "I think we got it," he said, snapping a picture of the wound. Curtis was dead, but Dave could put the photo in the evidence file.
"Damn you, Rossi! You could have given me some kind of warning before you ripped my skin off!"
He found an alcohol pad in the kit and ripped it open with his teeth. "One more thing."
"And you'll quit bugging me? Dammit, I'm trying to tell you that I'm in here and you're acting like I'm dying. What are you doing? Preparing my corpse?"
He swiped the alcohol pad across her wrist, fanning her wrist with the package it came in.
"You sonofabitch! It burns! Would it kill you to give me a warning?" She wanted to reach out and smack him, but she didn't have the strength.
He pulled out a gauze pad and dressed the wound. "Alright, Bella. We're done." He laid her arm back on the bed and snapped the first aid kit closed.
He chuckled when he glanced back at her hand,her middle finger raised proudly from the bed, pointing in his direction.
He laughed and snapped a picture of her hand. "Erin, I love you," he choked out between bouts of laughter. Gratitude swelled in his chest, twenty minutes ago, she had one foot in the grave. Now, she was well on her way back to him. Fighting harder than she ever fought before.
He was probably the only man on planet Earth to be so thrilled to be shot by the bird, but it was worth it. If it meant she was coming back to him.
He took another long look at her face before turning on his heel toward the Nurse's Station to return the first aid kit. He paused at the door, resting his hand on the frame. He took another look. His feet felt heavy, like lead in his shoes. He didn't want to leave her.
Trusting his gut, he went back to her side and brushed a lock of hair away from her forehead. "Come back to me," he begged, cupping her cheek in his hand. "Let me see your eyes."
Suddenly, her eyes shifted beneath their lids. Dave's heart stalled in his chest, a knot of anxiety started to build in his throat. "Are you going to listen to me, for once in your life?" He begged and gripped her hand tighter. He studied her face, drinking in her features. Later, when he was asked to describe the moment, he would say it happened the way he fell in love with her. Gradually, and then all at once.
"Please be here!" She pleaded, "I'm on my way back and I don't want to be alone."
Her eyes flickered open and Dave thought he could lose himself in them. "Erin!" Her name came out in a gasp.
She stared at him in disbelief, he looked like hell. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't talk." He commanded, she groaned against the machine in her mouth. Her hand twitched away from him towards the ventilator tube. "Hang on! Erin, wait!" He shouted and grabbed her hand before she could pull the tube out. "Don't touch that." He immobilized her hand and looked into her eyes. Fear and confusion enveloped her, what the hell is going on?"
"You're okay." He said, stroking the back of her hand, "you're fine," he whispered. Trying to provide comfort. "There's a tube in your mouth to help you breathe." He waited for his words to register with her before continuing. "I'm letting go of your hand and calling the doctor. Just stay calm and we'll get it out. Okay?"
She blinked twice and he knew she understood. He hit the 'Call' button.
"She's awake!" He snapped, warm relief spread through him. She was awake and conscious, they were one step closer to going home.
Dave leaned over and whispered, I can't wait to call the kids and tell them you are alright. Don't worry, they are fine. They don't know all the details of what happened to you. We didn't want them to worry until we knew more. They are safe with their father and he is going to make sure that they don't watch the news."
The doctor and her nurse entered the room and started preparing to remove the ventilator. Dave placed a lingering kiss to her forehead and moved out of their way. He wanted to stay in the room but the doctors and nurses forced him out so they had room to work. As Rossi waited in outside the door, he shot a quick text to the team to alert them that Strauss had woken up. The team offered to come to the hospital but he asked them to wait until the next day, since she still needed her rest. They made him promise to call if he or Strauss needed anything and that they would stop by before heading to the airport to fly home in the morning.
Dave waited in the hallway, near the door. He listened as Erin started in on the doctor. "When can I go home?" She rasped.
"In a couple of days," Dr. Garrett assured her. "I want to run some tests to make sure there's no permanent damage from the poison."
Erin nodded, "I want to go home tomorrow. Scratch that, I need to go home tomorrow."
Dave let himself back in the room and handed her a cup of ice chips, "Erin, we can't go home yet."
Erin shook her head, her eyes watered against her will. Panic gripped her, was Curtis still at large? Had he come after her family like he said he would? "David, I need to go home to my children! Curtis said he was going to follow us home!"
Dave leaned down and took her in his arms, "we'll get you home." He said, against her neck, "your kids are safe."
"Curtis?" She rasped, her throat burned, but she had to know. "What happened to him?"
Dave pulled away enough to meet her eyes as she trembled against him. "John Curtis is dead, Erin. We got him. It's over."
"Are you sure?" She clutched him tighter, seeking his stability. Her hands kept a white-knuckle grip on his shirt.
"I'm sure, Erin. It's over I promise. He can't hurt you again," he ran his hand up and down her spine, but instinctively he knew that her shivers weren't from the cold draft blowing through the room. There was no handbook on how to comfort someone after they were comatose, Dave didn't know what to do. He held her close, enjoying the sound of her breathing. He knew without a doubt, that he would never take that sound for granted again.
"What about the baby?" Erin's voice came out in a whisper against his shoulder.
"What baby?" Dave asked like he didn't know. He wanted to hear that they were having a baby, from her lips."
Erin drew in a breath. She had only been awake 10 minutes and already she put her foot in her mouth. Strauss considered making up a lie as she was afraid that if she told David the truth right now, he might leave. She wondered if he might use the fact that she hadn't told him about the baby when she first found out to question the paternity of the child. Unfortunately, for her, her post coma fogged brain, was running sluggish and nothing plausible would come to mind. She was just going to have to bite the bullet and tell her partner the truth here and now, trusting that he loved her and their unborn child enough to stay.
"Erin, you can tell me." He said, taking both her hands in his. "Just tell me." He nodded, encouraging her.
"I didn't want you to find out like this, but I'm pregnant and it's yours."
Blinking back his tears, Dave squeezed her hands tighter. He saw the photo from the ultrasound, it shouldn't have come as such a shock but he couldn't tamp down the emotion in his voice. Hearing her say it...knowing there was half his DNA creating a person...His heart filled with pride. "How long have you known?"
She stared at him, blinking back her own tears. "I went to the doctor last week."
"Erin- you could have-" He stammered his response, the words wouldn't come to him.
She held up one hand, "I was a little busy trying to catch The Replicator. I couldn't tell you before then. We were so close to finding him, I didn't think-" she gestured around the hospital room. She swallowed back her own emotions, "I didn't think this would happen."
"I could have protected you."
"That's exactly why I didn't say anything." She prayed he would understand, "I didn't want to hide it from you. You would have been too preoccupied, your team couldn't afford for you to lose focus. We were so close...I just thought it could wait."
Dave blew out a breath, her words made sense and he couldn't get upset about it. They were targeted by a serial killer, they couldn't afford distractions when lives were at stake. She was right, he would have been more distracted if he had known. He would have done everything in his power to keep her safe. If he had known, maybe none of this would have happened?
"Erin…" he propped one hip against the side of the bed, leaning towards her. "Do you want to see his picture?" He asked and withdrew the photo from the interior of his jacket pocket.
"You knew…" her voice cracked, "What the hell, David. Why did you-"
"There's just something about those words…" he responded, shaking his head. "I just wanted to hear you say it."
"Seriously?" She arched her eyebrow and fixed him with her best glare, that didn't hold nearly the usual amount of heat. "I'm barely conscious and you're screwing with me!"
He handed her the photograph. "No sweetheart." Dave said, leaning over and placing a tender kiss on her forehead. Hoping she would forgive him, he held her cheek in his hand, tucking a stray lock of blonde hair behind her ear. "As a man, there is just something about hearing the woman you love telling you, that she is pregnant with your baby. I can't really explain it, but, Erin, I never thought, I'd get another chance at being a father. Heck, until I never even wanted kids of my own, until having your kids in my life, made me realize what I missed out on. Still, I never dreamed that we would create a life together. Most of my friends have grandkids, some have great grands, so I thought, at my age, that train had passed me by. You're not upset?"
He brushed her tears away with the pads of his thumb. "I have no reason to be upset," Didn't she see that he could never be anything but happy about their baby? So far, today was the best day of his life. The woman he loved more than life itself, was coming back to him. She was having their baby, a man couldn't ask for more. He could have handed God a grocery list of things he wanted for his life, but the list would never make him feel as happy as he did today. Unfortunately, he couldn't tell her that. At least, not yet. Not until she had some color back in her face. "I think you should rest your voice for a while." He brought the paper cup of ice chips to her mouth and offered her the spoon.
She nodded, her throat burned and her eyes felt heavy. Dave laid on top of the sheets and put his arm around her. "Snuggle with me," he offered.
"You don't have to stay. You can go take a shower…" she let the sentence trail off. He looked like hell and she didn't want to be responsible for it. "How long have we been here?"
He shrugged as if to say, 'no big deal.' "Almost two days."
"David-" she tried again, "you really don't have to stay."
"I hate to break it to you, Sweetheart. I already have the best seat in the house. We can nap right here." He patted his chest. Put your head right here. Just don't sleep too long," he said and ran his hand up and down her back.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure," he made a show of looking around the room. "We have a bed...blankets...I have you. I think we're doing alright."
She laid her head on his chest, "Are you sure we got him?"
"I know we got him. Curtis is dead, blown up like a roman candle on the 4th of July. The coroner couldn't piece together his body. Don't worry, he did it to himself, we couldn't stop him."
Erin couldn't stop the perverse grin that spread over her face. "Good." The sound of his heartbeat lulled her back to sleep.
He pulled the blankets over her and let sleep claim him. Rossi was having the most wonderful dream, when a piercing scream, woke him out of his sleep. He jerked awake, his heart hammered against his breastbone. "Erin!" He groped through the blankets, looking for her in the darkness. He got out of bed and took her in his arms. "Erin, it's okay." He took her by the shoulders and shook her, not hard but enough to get her attention. "You're safe." Her eyes were closed and her screams reverberated through the room. "Erin!" He tried again to get her attention.
The door opened and a swarm of nurses converged on them, flipping on the lights.
"You need to get out," The head nurse snapped at Dave.
Erin shook her head, "I'm fine. He can stay."
"You were screaming," the nurse said, assessing Erin's vital signs. She wrapped the blood pressure cuff around her arm and set to work.
"It was a dream," she explained as the nurse kept her eyes on her watch.
"Normal." She said and unwrapped the cuff. She began taking notes on the chart. "I guess he can stay," the nurse relented. "You're being moved to a regular room tomorrow."
"When can I go home?"
"That's up to Dr. Garrett, he'll be back tomorrow morning."
"Can I sign myself out?"
"Erin," Dave cut in sharply. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"I do." She shot back, staring him down. "I need to be on that plane with the team tomorrow."
"I'll make them wait."
"Absolutely not, David. I don't want to be in New York any longer than necessary."
Finally, the nurse cut in. She was on the second half of a 13 hour shift and she was tired of their bickering. " Ma'am, you were comatose. You need follow up care to make sure you're healthy before we send you home."
"I'm not going to sue," Erin said, rolling her eyes.
"Per the AMA forms you'll be required to sign, we know you're not going to sue."
"Then I don't see what the problem is then." Strauss said, slightly testy.
"Ma'am, for both your sake and your baby's, I suggest you listen to the doctor and follow the doctor's orders. It's already late, well early in the morning really. Wait a few hours until the doctor has a chance to come and check you out before you make any hasty decisions. Let him review your test results and ensure that all of the toxins are out of your system and that you and your child have a clean bill of health first." the nurse implored her.
Erin turned to Dave, "Looks like I'm out voted and you're staying here tonight." She snagged the sleeve of his shirt, pulling him closer.
"Where else would I be?" He draped his arm over her shoulders.
"Try to get some rest," the nurse said, and closed the door behind her.
"What did you dream about?" Dave asked, wrapping both his arms around her. With her head on his chest, he held her closer. Enjoying the quiet sound of her breathing. Something he never thought he would hear again.
"It doesn't matter...I don't remember now." She brushed him off, talking about things wasn't exactly her strong suit. He didn't need to know what she saw when her eyes closed. Telling David how she could still feel John Curtis's hands holding her down, wouldn't do them any good.
"But..you know you're safe now? Don't you?"
"Of course…"It was the right thing to say. In the long term, she always felt safe with him, but at the moment she didn't know if she would feel safe again...she loved him...he loved her and that's what mattered.
"Can I do anything to help?" He knew the answer, he was just as helpless now as he was when he found her on the bench. "Can I get you something? I'm sure the nurse has some Jello somewhere."
She shook her head. "Just don't go anywhere."
"Honey, you would have to drag me out of here by my hair. Trust me, that's not as easy as it sounds."
"I think we can save the hair pulling until we're home together and I can enjoy the activities that go with it."
He brushed a kiss to her forehead, "I'm glad to see you're on the mend."
"I just want to go home," Erin argued. She never felt safe in New York, the city was too crowded and the people were too aloof.
"We'll get you there," he promised. "As soon as the doctor gives you the all clear."
"I can see any doctor I need, back in Quantico."
"We're not having this argument right now. Erin," he pinched the bridge of his nose. "What if something happened to you on the jet? Erin, please don't put me through that because you're impatient to go home."
"Fine," she huffed. "I guess you're right," she relented, turning to face him.
"Bella, I know I'm right."
"Don't rub it in," she said, pulling the blanket up to her chin.
"Are you sure you're okay?" All the color drained from her face, her usual healthy glow was replaced with slate gray.
"I'm freezing," she said, clenching her jaw tight to keep from shivering.
"Sweetheart, it's 70 degrees outside."
"That doesn't really help me-" She squeezed her eyes shut, willing her body to stop shaking. Her body curled in on itself and the bed trembled as she shivered. "I n-need some body heat," she said and tightened her hold on him.
"Erin, I'm going to get the nurse."
"P-please-don't leave-It'll p-pass!" She tried to argue but Dave was afraid she would bite her tongue if she kept talking.
"Shh...don't try to talk. I'll be gone, three minutes." He promised and untangled himself from the bed.
Dave hurried down the hallway, Curtis had done more damage to Erin's health than Dave realized. For the second time in two days, David Rossi had to stomp down the murderous thoughts of strangling Curtis with his bare hands. He rounded the corner and found the nurse in the hall. "What happened?"
"She can't get warm," Dave said.
The nurse followed him back to Erin's room, with her cart.
"L-longer than three minutes," Erin said as Dave walked back into the room.
The nurse set to work checking Erin's vital signs and comparing the results to the chart.
"I'll be back," the nurse said, "I'll call the doctor and see what he wants to do."
"What's wrong with her?" Dave asked, the words came out sharper than he meant them.
"I'll have more information when I come back."
"But you do have a theory?"
"All of your vitals are normal," The nurse said, addressing Erin. I think the chills are a side effect of the poison. Could be a withdrawal, but I need to confirm it with the doctor." The nurse said, turning on her heel she left the room.
"Jesus…" Dave said under his breath. He took off his shirt and crawled in bed behind Erin, wrapping his arms around her, the weight of his body held her still.
"You-y-ou don't have to stay."
"Shh.." he brushed a kiss against her shoulder. "You're stuck with me."
"You do make a good heated blanket. I always knew there I'd find some good use for you, one day," Strauss teased as she shivered and her teeth chattered.
"Does this mean you plan to keep me around for this and other fringe benefits?" Rossi asked while adjusting so they could both lie more comfortably.
"Only for the next five or six decades, then we'll see how things are working out." Erin said with a yawn. Dave's body heat was starting to transfer to her body and between him and the blankets, she was beginning to feel very cozy and lethargic.
"Works for me." Dave said, gently kissing the back of her head.
"I always knew you were easy." Strauss uttered with a jaw cracking yawn as she slowly drifted off to sleep.
"Only for you my love, only for you." Dave said, knowing she was in the land of nod, and wouldn't hear his confession. He knew she wasn't quite ready to deal with the depths of his love, devotion and commitment and he didn't want to ruin the progress they had made in their relationship by moving too fast. Yet, we now have a baby on the way, he thought, might have to step up the game plan, as there is no way, my child is being born out of wedlock, the profiler said in his mind. He lay there awake for the next few hours, holding Erin and making plans for their future. He wanted her to have his name. He wanted their baby, he wouldn't allow John Curtis to take their future away from them.