DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. PLEASE REVIEW! I will take advice on relationships you'd like to eventually see, as well as suggestions from my readers while continuing the story.

Thinking

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

Emphasis

God, she was in pain! But at least she was back in her own body - the one from her first life. Dusting herself off, she walked through the dark passages she found herself in. Seeing an incredibly enormous cage in front of her, she stepped back to look at it warily. "What kind of zoo is this?"

Rachel noticed the area became noticeably warmer, bordering on hot, before hearing a voice that nearly knocked her down.

"ZOO?!"

What a weird dream!

Imagining something that would need such a large cage, she could only think of the Jurassic Park and King Kong movies, neither of which she'd been a great fan of. Godzilla? Yeah, most of those movies she could get behind. Godzilla and his ilk should never be caged, though. How could anyone even accomplish such a thing?! She shook her head at these silly thoughts, once again wondering if having the body of a child had regressed her obviously broken mind, too.

Opening her eyes, she found herself in what was obviously a hospital room. The smell of the place was overwhelming and is what woke her up. She covered her mouth and nose but gagged and heard various voices arguing followed by what sounded like wrestling and someone's whining. Why were the masked people she was stuck with here in this place always such a rowdy bunch?

Some type of material was pulled over her head and Rachel looked up in bewilderment. Apparently, the fabric mask she was now wearing came from the Inu person with nearly unbelievable hair, whose body language now indicated something akin to having been robbed of a favorite toy or candy. Honestly, he can't be more than a teenager! She knew lots of women who dyed their hair silver, but the shade of his hair looked like her deceased grandfather's. Ah, well, to each his own.

"Better?"

"Did Dumbass' mask help, chibi?"

"You're okay now, brat."

"Don't pay any attention to scowl-face over there: he's just got pent-up sexual frustrations he doesn't know what to do with," the tallest man said, tossing his thumb back at the teenager, who seemed to be combusting.

Honestly, Rachel thought she saw sparks fly off the boy.

At her ivory-masked companions' continued questions regarding her health, Rachel finally nodded that she was alright, just before the door to her room opened. All of the masked men and women's actions and words halted, and they all moved as one and stood stiffly.

In walked an old man with a dramatic white robe and what Rachel could only imagine was perhaps the old Japanese version of a pimp hat. Her heartbeat sped up, and she was filled with adrenaline: this guy's bad! He'd attacked Bear just before… What happened?

The adrenaline rushed through her body and Rachel quickly jumped down to the opposite side of the bed from the bad man. God! How could anyone so old move like he had back in her room?! Rachel armed herself with the nearest thing she could find, which happened to be an old-fashioned telephone handset and flung it at the man, only to get smacked back in the face with it when the handset's curly cord moved against her. Rachel got back up from the floor, a little dizzy. Are corded phones back in again? And in hospitals?

The weirdos she lived with had the nerve to laugh at her, although the woman with the longer purple hair picked her up to check her head. Rachel continued to scowl at the weird old man, who only smiled at her sadly.

"Hello, little one. One can only imagine the confusion you must feel after yesterday's incident," he said rather kindly before tilting his head and thus, his giant asinine hat. "Do you know who I am?"

Rachel glared at the man and didn't know where her self-preservation instincts had gone when she responded grimly. "You're either a murderer or an attempted murderer." Gah! I'm not brave! What are you doing, mouth?! I don't want to die again!

It was as if all the air in the room was somehow sucked out.

"Don't say that brat! He's the…"

"It's alright, Anko-chan." He bowed rather deeply to the little blonde, seeming to shock everyone in the room. "My name is Hiruzen Sarutobi, and I'm the Hokage. Do you know what a Hokage is?"

Rachel's mind reeled. "I'm going to be the Hokage!" She didn't know who's obnoxious voice she was reminded of that had said such an odd thing, nor why the phrase was followed by a nonsensical word that she didn't quite remember or understand. "Beg your pardon. Is it 'fire shadow?'" What the hell did that mean? She was getting aggravated, more than she should be. This guy's ash: is that what he's saying? And did he just call himself a monkey? Rachel crossed her tiny arms over her chest and wished she still had the guns that Krav Maga and working out at the gym had once given her.

"You speak very well for your age, my child. I am the leader of our village, Konohagakure."

Rachel nodded her head at the information. So he's just the mayor of some hick town; what's the deal with the fashion statement, then? The compliment that her Japanese had improved was appreciated, although she'd be in major trouble if it hadn't, considering that everyone now around her only spoke Japanese. She had never been gifted in learning a foreign language: that's what held her back from graduating college at an earlier age. Immersion here had helped her immensely.

The old man continued to talk and talk… Something about a "Will of Fire" concept that supposedly burned brightly within her, but only reminded Rachel of an anime her nephew had forced her to actually pay attention to. Even her older brother was incredibly into it. The Prince Azula guy was complex, but a total dick when she first saw the anime. I think he converted to the side of good the last time I was home, though. Wait, was it Azula who was the prince?

Home: Texas... Even Guam, Canada, Mexico, (and especially Hawaii…) She just wanted to go back to any of her favorite known places. It's not that she didn't love her life in Japan, but Rachel wouldn't be Rachel without her family back in Austin.

Meanwhile, in the Clan district…

I never thought I'd miss home so much. His real family was in Seattle, and they must've been saddened at his passing, even though he'd long since moved away from them. I should've reached out to repair our relationship, he thought, longing for his original family.

His "new" parents were alright, although a little strange. He was almost expected to do things that should be completely prohibited for a child of "his age." Not that he had much experience with children, having been an only child. He scratched his head, once again wondering what exactly his newer parents were saying as they looked at him with so much concern.

"We just need to work harder on his language skills! You have to put your part in, too!"

The man-turned-boy was pretty sure that his "mother" was talking about him not understanding them or speaking well again, but what could he do? He was sure he was in Japan, though, although the people he'd come to know looked a little bit like… Nah, that's impossible.

But I didn't believe reincarnation was possible, either.

Still, he'd totally lose his shit if he really was in the Naruto world.