DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. I would love to hear your thoughts on how the story's progressing so far.

Thinking

Emphasis

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

This place is really rocking at night, the henged Ru thought as she observed her new neighborhood from the roof of her building.

The extremely large whorehouse next door - she'd learned its name was "The Pleasure Bar," of all the mockingly appropriate names it could be - did a really mean business, especially considering that it wasn't even a weekend or holiday today. There was a tattoo parlor that she really wanted to check out that opened up to the vacant store next to it and became something akin to a rave or a mosh pit at night. That was a place she also kinda yearned to join, remembering the fun she had in Rachel's wilder days. She saw not only civilians but shinobi eagerly going into those and many other rather unsavory-looking places. Their chakra reserves were large enough to alert her to their shinobi status, plus some even wore their uniforms as they entered the various businesses all around her.

She'd have to get used to the loud music and sounds of sex and drunken laughter in order to eventually sleep here. Honestly, the ladies and a couple of men in business next door really needed to play it down if they planned on sounding at all realistic while sexing it up over there...

How in the world she was going to ever get to sleep with her stupidly-enhanced sense of smell was really baffling, though. The... smells here were nearly overwhelming. And not in a good way.

Maybe I should get a bunch of plants and flowers or something. She'd never seen a Glade Plug-In in this weird dimension or whatever this place is, but she was going to look for them!

As a six-year-old girl, there was no way that she would leave her apartment looking like her normal self, or any female for that matter. She'd already seen a young woman get punched in the face outside her building from her rooftop. Ru had been shocked for a moment, but determination and adrenaline had filled her with a desire to beat the shit out of the asshole who dared touch that gal so violently - and he'd so obviously grabbed her against her will just before that. Fortunately, there was an MPF officer that seemed to materialize out of thin air along with a young near look-alike with longer hair that immediately took the bastard into custody. Ru slumped to her knees in relief and was surprised when the young man turned and looked straight at her, then gently smiled. Even more interesting, the young man was scolded for following the officer.

"No heir should ever be seen in a place like this! If you really want to see what my day looks like, follow me during the day."

"As you command, Father." The boy turned to her - he couldn't even be a teenager which was a terrible thing when she considered her neighborhood - and bowed before vanishing.

"Well that was weird," Ru said to herself, before realizing that she'd accidentally dropped her henge. Probably happened when I got scared for that lady.

She thought she was good at keeping up a henge! God knows she could keep the jutsu up for hours, but apparently, she wasn't good enough. How am I ever going to get better at anything if I don't have anyone to help me learn anymore? Remembering the scroll Moon gave her earlier in the afternoon, she decided to finally go look at what was inside of it. She had been too upset to do it before now.

I also need to "hide all my valuables." Che! What a bunch of bullcrap!

Hopping down to her flat's balcony, she opened the glass patio door and barely dodged the frying pan that came at her. What the...

"Oh, are you..? State your name and business here!"

An old woman with what may be auburn-streaked grey hair who looked like she was suffering from osteoporosis stood over a pot of boiling noodles. Chicken was now scattered across the kitchen floor and Ru realized that the pan she'd just dodged was HOT. "Wh- Who are YOU? And what are you doing in my kitchen?!"

The old woman's stance changed, and she straightened up a bit. Ru could only feel curiosity and a hint of trepidation coming from the old lady... who had a lot of damaged or wonky chakra. How do I even know this stuff? Maybe I don't and I'm insane. Meh: I attribute it to getting my head bashed in when the plane crashed. Whaddya do...

"Nama- Uzumaki?" The woman asked.

"Hai?" Ru watched as the woman relaxed and asked for the pan back. Ru gave it to her, then grossed out at seeing her put the chicken that was scattered across the floor back into the pan. She was unsuccessful in trying to stop the elder from continuing to cook it. Naruto quickly cleaned up the new mess in the kitchen.

Damnit. I just scrubbed this place down a couple of hours ago, but didn't even get started on the floor!

"Alright, Uzumaki. My name's Ichi and I own this building: it's been here since this place was a shining example of architecture! Everybody and anybody wanted to be close to 'The Paradaisu.' Cool name, huh? It's foreign!"

Naruto didn't know whether she was serious or not. "Umm, yes? That's what this building's called?"

"You're awfully quiet for an Uzumaki, girl. Step up here! I can't see your face!" Ichi ordered.

Ru moved forward carefully while stealthily moving her hand toward the kunai in her obi until the elderly woman was able to grab her chin. Ichi squinted at her, then seemed to approve. She patted Naruto's head. "So, uhh, do you know other Uzumakis?" Did "Naruto" actually have people related to him -er, her somewhere out there?

"Ha! You can say that. Used to: wild redheads, the whole lot. Most fun people you can imagine there sweety," she laughed as she once again began heating up the dirty chicken. "People say they were clinically insane or at least touched, but I know better," Ichi cackled, and only got louder at seeing the horrified look on Naruto's face. "You'd best lighten up, kid. You got a problem or something?"

"No!" Yes! Ru thought desperately, completely contrary to what she'd just said. I have too many of them!

"Well, you can always come talk to old Ichi if you need to spill, kid."

"Arigatou gozaimasu," Ru said and bowed a bit. What she'd offered was nice, but she was still a bit wary of this Ichi woman. A shinobi always looks underneath the underneath. Was this woman going to poison her, aside from what she was doing with the floor chicken? Fuck, she hated having to be a paranoid shinobi... "Were you a kunoichi?" She also hated the way her mouth often got the best of her and just ran off on its own.

"Ha! Surprised you could even tell, kid. What gave me away?"

"Umm... your chakra's really large but there's - well, there's something wrong with it?" Naruto said, wondering if she was right or being terribly rude. The woman gave her a long strange stare, then grinned at her brightly. Naruto was somehow surprised at how nice her teeth still were.

"Interesting ability you got there, kid: very interesting. And one you need to keep a secret! I'm serious," Ichi sang the last word.

Naruto rolled her eyes at this: of course, she needed to keep more things secret. Kami! How would a normal six-year-old be able to handle all this bull?

"What else does my chakra tell ya?" Ichi asked after seeming to consider what she was cooking gravely.

"Umm, I don't know if I'm mental or not, but it's really bright and seems like it wants to flow - like it's all soft and peaceful, but then it gets... stuck?"

"Hmm. You're not mental, kid," she stated and gave the little blonde a nod. "I was once a kunoichi. In the Second Great War that wasn't so great: let me tell you, I was hit with a lightning jutsu by a man I'd been tracking to get back these blades that git Tobi had lost. Stupid idiot genius types, Naru-chan: those are the ones to watch out for." She continued to grumble as Naruto tasted the name "Naru" on her tongue. "Incoming-Nidaime or not, that guy should've sent me backup."

"Wait! You - I mean - this 'Tobi' guy was Senju Tobirama?!" The old woman nodded her head and continued stirring the dirty chicken, adding vegetables to it. "What did he lose? Why didn't he go after it himself? How did you know him?!" Naruto's questions went on and on until she was slapped in the forehead by a weird kitchen tool the woman was holding. Old Ichi then whipped out tongs and grabbed Ru's nose with them before letting out a boisterous laugh.

"That's more like it, girly. And yes, Tobi WAS that idiot genius Tobirama. I swear to Kami that nerd came up with the stupidest shit known to man. A genius shinobi he may have been, Naru-chan, but he had too great an imagination," she continued as a frown grew on her wrinkled face. "Dumbass didn't send me backup, saying it would show 'favoritism.' Of course he should favor me!"

"Why is that?!" Naruto couldn't help but ask.

"Can ya keep a nearly-forgotten and barely-known secret little girl?"

Naruto nodded her head, yes, deciding that so far she really liked this Ichi-san, if Ichi was really being honest with her. Plus, curiosity might kill the cat, but she really wanted to hear more of this story! Ichi replied by humming a song that "Naru" had never heard before until the older woman finished making the meal. Ru pulled out the dishes they'd need from her cabinets but didn't know where to put them. She didn't have a proper table and figured that the elderly woman wouldn't want to stand at the counter and eat.

There was no way in hell she would eat on that gross couch, let alone have a visitor do so...

Ichi just winked at her before pulling out a scroll and slipping the food into a storage compartment. She rubbed the small of her back and grimaced after using just that small amount of chakra.

"Will the heat hurt it?" Naru asked. "Naru..." Yeah, I can get used to that name.

"Hurt what? The scroll? Oh, Naruto," the woman laughed again, but this time her laughter almost sounded sad at the end. "It certainly won't! Oh, the things I have to teach you, child! That is... if you keep my secrets. I can promise to keep yours, too," she said with another wink. "Come on then, let's go!" Ichi led Naru, who had again henged her appearance, out of her flat and slowly down the stairs, where the elderly woman apparently lived at least some of the time. The place looked not only super grand, but bigger than Naruto's flat, but that didn't make any sense. She had the whole floor, and the floors were the same size...

"Fuuinjutsu, little one." Ichi smiled wider at seeing Naruto perk up as she looked around, astonished. "Pretty nice digs, eh? Not that you'd know it from the outside. Never mind that now, let's eat, little bird."

"Little bird?" Well, Ichi was weird but very likable, plus she seemed to have a ton of energy for her rather advanced age. "So you were telling me about Tobirama-sama? And why he should favor you?" Naru asked before taking a bite of her udon. She tried to avoid the pieces of chicken, even though they were in the broth with the vegetables and all. If you could ignore the fact that most of the chicken had been on the floor, the dish was very tasty.

She moved more chicken off to the side, simply unable to be THAT thankful and thus compelled to eat it as a polite gesture for the woman cooking for her.

"Consider this a test to see if we can trust each other, ne?" Ichi asked, enjoying the way Naru's eyes lit up as she nodded. She's so much like the both of them... Kushi, Mina: you big baby, you produced a beautiful little girl. "Let's see if you can keep a secret!" The old woman hurried to the wall before slowly running through a few hand signs. She pressed her hand against the wall and a seal lit up. "There we go! Now time for introductions - since you're willing to go along with me, ne?" Naruto nodded at her eagerly, making the old woman smirk. "I'll know if you tell anyone, child. Even that brat, Hiruzen."

Naruto tried to hide her expression after hearing the woman was worried about her telling her supposed grandfather that had left her alone - or nearly alone - in this "neighborhood." She put on a big fake smile. "I can't stand the suspense! And I can keep a secret!" Ru felt like she should be more careful, but something about this woman just oozed warmth and authenticity. And something else: something like amusement? But not about me...

"Well, if you say so, child." Ichi gave her an overly dramatic deep bow that seemed a nearly impossible achievement, considering her back and advanced age. "Uzumaki Naruto, I am pleased to meet you. My name is Uzumaki-Senju Ichika. I was the wife of the Nidaime Hokage, and sister-in-law of the Shodaime. Surprised?" Her cackling laughter grew as she saw the little girl drop her chopsticks.

"Oh crap! I was going to bring you guys something special," Naruto remembered as she sat eating with her lunch friends. "I'm sorry!" The boys mumbled that it was fine as they finished their lunches, and Naru nearly flinched at feeling an incoming presence she couldn't greet.

No, she'd be in trouble again if she did. It was already bad enough in the classroom, with those idiot teachers completely ignoring her as confusion laced with disgust and sadness rolled off one while the other one radiated sheer hatred. Oh, the second one, "Mizuki-sensei," was trying to hide it, but doing a bafflingly terrible job at it. Isn't he supposed to be a shinobi? A Chunin, no less?!

"Pardon my intrusion, Uzumaki-san, Uchiha-san, Aburame-san, Akimichi-san, Nara-san."

Naruto nodded her head but continued to stare down and nibble at her onigiri, favoriting it by far over the Dirty Chicken leftovers that were mainly Dirty Chicken. The boys around her just said things like the girl was fine or troublesome or whatever. Naruto really didn't know what to do. She didn't want any trouble. She immediately regretted glancing over at the shy girl as she let out an "eep," before Naruto noticed the weird way her fingers were moving. She's super shy. It's sad that...

"I am here to apologize!" Naruto looked up in surprise, seeing that the girl was speaking to her and had her head lifted high - which was weird when apologizing in this culture. "My actions yesterday caused injury, and that is not something that I can let pass. It won't happen again!" The girl squeaked out the last part, then finally looked Naru in the eye.

Well, maybe. The girl didn't have any pupils, which was a weird thing she was still getting used to as others lacked them, too in this place. But this little girl's eyes were so pale, Naruto would've thought she was blind. But considering she'd read about the Hyuuga, and also… Yikes.

"I should be the one apologizing, Hyuuga-sama. Again. I was the one who lost it and uhh... Beat up your... 'clansmen?'" Naruto was even more embarrassed when Shikamaru choked out rice onto Choji. "I'd like to think I'm in better control of my temper now, but... I don't know. I really am sorry!"

"Hai! You did beat up Neji-nii-san!" Hinata said rather excitedly. She walked over and gave a gentle palm thrust to the middle of Shikamaru's back. Rice immediately expelled from his mouth, and he stopped coughing. "Gomennasai, Nara-san. Did that help?"

The poor boy nodded dumbly and popped his back before quietly apologizing for "making an ass out of myself." Both girls giggled at his language, but the Hyuuga immediately looked around as if she was going to get in trouble or be attacked.

What's that all about? Naruto wondered. "Again, I'm the one to apologize for hurting your brother." She stood up and bowed from the waist. The Hyuuga nearly had a fit if one considered all the little squeaky noises she was making.

"No no, Uzumaki-san! Neji-nii-san is a better person for what happened. I am indebted to you!"

Naruto looked at the girl quizzically and wondered if she could sit back down. "Well that's weird, but okay I guess. You're not indebted, though: no way... Would you like to eat lunch with us? Oh, and call me Naruto. No honorifics: I don't like them. They make me feel old." She scratched the back of her head and looked up to the swaying leaves on the tree as she thought more on it, trying to ignore the way the Hyuuga girl's mouth was almost hanging open. "Or you can just call me Naru or Ru or whatever. I don't mind," she finished, feeling stupid about it.

"Hai, Naruto-san!"

"Just Naruto, please."

"Hai! I am Hyuuga Hinata. It is a pleasure to meet you. Eep! All of you," Hinata added as an afterthought as she bowed toward the boys.

"Hn."

Shikamaru spewed his rice again; the boy was really having a hard time with his onigiri. Naruto wondered if he needed to have his pharynx and esophagus examined, along with that little thing she could never remember the name of that was sandwiched between them.

He finally finished coughing, his face red. "Kami. What a drag."

Naru tried not to laugh, but it was too funny. "What a drag" was a comment she used a lot back when she was Rachel, especially when dealing with Sean.

Sean! Oh my God! Sean was my nephew! Evan was the one who was my brother! Naru's azure eyes began to tear up and she grabbed a little notebook from her obi, noting it to add to her diaries once she got back home.

"Whoa. Are you okay, Ru?" Choji asked sweetly in concern for his new friend.

"Yeah! Oh yeah! I just remembered something that I'd forgotten and that's awesome! Gomen, gomen," Naruto chuckled lightly as she wiped at her eyes then continued to scribble something down.

What a weird girl, was the nearly collective thought the boys had as they sat under the large tree.

"Oh no," the Uchiha said in just over a whisper. "They're coming," he said darkly, looking off to the side.

"Who?" Naruto asked, wondering if he was referring to the rest of the girls from their class headed their way.

"Oi. OI! Blondie!" Naruto's head tilted to the side as she looked up, wondering why this purple-haired girl wanted her. The girl had seemed haughty and above everyone except for maybe the Yamanaka girl in class, who the girl seemed wary of. "What did you do to our sensei yesterday? And what's with those stupid whiskers on your stupid face?"

Naruto's first thought was to punch her, and she harshly scolded herself for it. Of all the things to do or even think of! A smile that looked more like a smirk began to grow on her face. There is no way I'm hitting a child again, bully or not.

"Pay attention! You look like a fox! I heard you're a dem-" The girl never managed to finish her word, as Naruto's fist had somehow collided with the girl's mouth.

Hearing the crack of the girl's jawbone reminded her of what she'd done to the Hyuuga boy a year ago. "I - I'm so sorry!" Thank God I didn't use chakra! "I'm so, so sorry!"

The girl was rolling around on her back and crying her eyes out. Naruto felt terrible - no, worse than terrible! It became clear that she could feel even more ashamed and awful when Iruka-sensei once again ran forward to pick up the poor girl, whispering soothingly to her that he'd take her to the nurse. "Or the hospital. Uzumaki: you're with me. NOW!"

Naruto forgot about her food and the pretty orange bento box that the Hokage had given her as she quickly followed her crap sensei into the Academy again. Shikamaru began picking the little compartments up to put back together.

"Shikamaru! Choji! Why are you sitting with that little monster?!"

"Shut it, Ino. This isn't time for your bullshit," he nearly growled as Ino grabbed the bento's largest box. "Give that back; she hasn't finished yet."

"Hmph. I don't think so!" Ino opened the box to see it filled to the brim with chicken and some noodles. "I'm telling your mom that you cursed! Don't say that's troublesome you lazy jerk!"

Seeing as the "other blonde" interloper hadn't touched it yet, she grabbed a bite of it with the chopsticks she had kept in her hands when she followed Ami over to these losers, aside from Sasuke-kun, of course! She was surprised the food tasted very good, and ran away from Shikamaru, singing a mocking little tune that Ami had aimed at her yesterday. She finished the box and threw it away.

Ino didn't get sick until the next day just before lunch. It wasn't pretty.

"She is impertinent and violent," Iruka emphasized to the Hokage. Why in the world had he been appointed sensei to a bunch of bratty clan heirs and the jinchuuriki this year? And I'm supposed to remain their sensei until they graduate? That's not even standard practice!

"Perhaps you should reconsider that, Iruka-kun," the Sandaime said gently.

Iruka couldn't believe it! And who was this old lady next to the Hokage standing there glaring at him? He steeled himself: he didn't need this. "Uzumaki Naruto broke a girl's jaw with one punch. A victim whose father is on the council, Hokage-sama!"

"You little shit-bird," the old woman in the corner began.

"Stand down, Ichi," Hiruzen warned in just over a whisper. The woman with the hump in her back threw her hands up in the air dramatically before placing them on her hips. She looked like she still wanted to give Iruka a good talking to.

Hiruzen knew that for his sensei's wife, "a good talking to" meant pummeling someone into a paste.

Something she nearly accomplished with Hatake when she went to the Yamanaka Treatment Center to supposedly gift them with new blankets.

The Sandaime once again asked Iruka to really investigate what made Naruto resort to violence - other than her being naturally inclined to it as an Uzumaki: something he didn't mention - but wondered if he'd made the right decision in choosing Iruka to teach the otherwise sweet, enthusiastic girl.

"I should kill that guy," the elderly woman stated after Iruka left the office.

"You can't do that Lady Ichika," Hiruzen replied while lighting his pipe. Ichika unceremoniously knocked it out of his hand.

"What have I told you about smoking you brat?!" Hiruzen flinched at her tone: his reaction to her had been nearly imprinted upon him when dealing with the woman for years as a child. Nothing really changed, even after she and the Nidaime had divorced years after their secret marriage. Then got back together. Then did it all again.

"I don't have much longer, Hiru-kun. Since Kushina passed, Naruto is the heiress of my great clan. I won't have her being disrespected. And don't you say a word about her status as a jinchuuriki!" She watched the Hokage slump into his chair again. "Do you remember what Mito did to anyone who dared challenge her?!"

Hiruzen only nodded his head, remembering the few who had dared to say something negative against Lady Mito's somewhat-known status after her husband, the Shodaime, had passed. On automatic, he reached for a cigarette and got his hand slapped hard. Even worse, the door to his office opened and his advisors stepped in. Ichika had stepped into the shadows to watch but showed herself after the elders had shut the door.

"What have I told you brats about manners and protocol?! You dare open a door and walk in like you own the place? Damn brats!" Ichika enjoyed the way they all flinched and cowered before her. These little farts! "If I catch you disrespecting Hiruzen again, I'll pull down your britches and spank your fat asses! Don't think I won't!" She then stomped out, slamming the door behind her. Hiruzen couldn't help but start laughing.

"It's been a while, hmm? Don't think I won't tell on you if you enter without knocking and getting an answer from me again," Hiruzen said cheekily before picking his pipe up from the floor. Ah, sometimes it's good to be thought of as a kid. If only I didn't have the responsibilities and arthritis of an adult.