DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, "Naru speaking to the Kyuubi in her mindscape," etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

Shikamaru could not believe that the attack on the Uchiha happened after all.

Yes, the Uchiha clan had still been feared, but that's what came from possessing a sometimes near god-like dojutsu and being Konoha's entire police force. Really, Shikamaru had thought that the Uchihas were doing better and better at becoming more accepted, year by year, since he realized he was in this once, (to him at the time,) fictional world.

It had been a week since the attack, and the only things he'd heard so far - outside of pure gossip, which was running rampant - was that
A. The Uchiha head family had all survived, although some were said to be in serious condition.
B. Danzo was dead: services for the supposedly revered Elder had been held a few days ago.
C. Sasuke was obviously still not back in class.
D. A "man with a large orange mask" had perpetrated the event, and had also been reported to be the one to "brought the Kyuubi into the village over a decade ago." Weirdly enough, he (Obito, Shikamaru knew from his past life,) supposedly admitted it.
E. Uzumaki Naruto was no longer in the village. He'd overheard his parents loudly arguing for a few minutes about the girl who should've been his classmate - they'd woken his baby sister - so that part of the rumors about her seemed to be true.
F. Senju Tsunade had returned to the village, and wasn't that something?

Shikamaru wasn't an idiot. He may not have realized that either Uchiha Itachi or Shisui had thrown him into a genjutsu the first times it happened, but eventually thought having his mind and memories possibly examined by the two quite decent Uchihas might help their cause back then. He allowed it to continue, as foolish as that might seem now.

At the time, Shikamaru wasn't quite convinced that his world was real, despite how detailed and tangible EVERYTHING was back then (and still is.)

Real or not, the Nara wanted Shisui and Itachi to at least protect their family members, which would only make the village and thus the shinobi world stronger. It might have been naive, considering everything that he had learned since, but what was done was done.

"Quiet," Iruka-sensei demanded as he burst through the classroom door. "Today a new instructor will be assisting me," he said, looking very unhappy about it.

"Where's Mizuki-sensei?" Ino asked.

Iruka huffed and fisted his hands. "Gone. That's all you need to know. Your new instructor is a Jonin..."

Choji raised his hand.

"Troublesome," Shikamaru whispered despite knowing better. His best young friend in this life pulled his chips away for saying that, Shikamaru guessed.

"Sensei, aren't you a Chunin?"

Iruka almost looked like he would combust into boiling dolphin before he seemed to get hold of himself. "You make a good point, Choji-kun," Iruka answered reluctantly. He figured he might as well turn this into a teachable moment. "What are the ranks of ninja in the village?" Sakura's hand shot up, because of course it did.

"Academy graduates are promoted to Genin, which is the rank associated with those of the lowest skill. Chunin rank above Genin - and Tokubetsu Jonin and Jonin are the most skilled warriors in the village, next to the Hokage, of course."

"You're somewhat correct, Sakura-chan," Iruka said, writing the ranks on the chalkboard, from Jonin down. Sakura, naturally, wilted at being corrected in any way. He really needed to work on her confidence and need to show off. Fortunately, she and Ino-chan were less vexing when Sasuke-kun was gone, but that was another huge problem - he should probably talk to their parents about it again. "But a Genin can theoretically be stronger than a Jonin: there are many qualities that go into the Hokage's decision to promote someone: not just strength. Also, not all Academy graduates become…"

The door opened and Shikamaru gawked at the shinobi who entered.

"Maa, maa, Iruka-kun! I think you've said enough, although you might be right…"

Hatake Kakashi in the flesh. Although the man had opened the door, it looked like he had entered the room as a shimmery, dark mist. Shikamaru almost wanted to ask for his autograph, but that would undoubtedly make his taijutsu tutor, Gai-sensei, cry even more than he already did.

"It's Iruka-sensei," Iruka hissed at his comrade. Kakashi just gently chuckled at him. Shikamaru almost choked when the silver-haired Jonin pulled out the porn er- "romance novel" that was one in a series his father had hidden from his mother. Along with a stack of real porn: Shinobi/Kunoichi-porn! He let out a laugh just thinking about it, (it was pretty good stuff,) then held his breath when that caught Hatake's attention.

The man's mask and eye turned up on one side - the side that had a section uncovered - and Shikamaru could tell the man was smirking.

"You're one of Gai's students," Kakashi said quietly, staring at him for far too long before the Copy Ninja went back to his book. He chuckled absolutely menacingly from behind it.

"Fuck," Shikamaru whispered, chilled to the bone.

Gai cared about him, so didn't literally beat him to death weekly. Figuratively? Oh yes, Gai-sensei did beat the living snot out of him!

Kakashi Hatake? Gai's Eternal Rival? Shikamaru was pretty sure that Kakashi didn't give a rat's ass about him.

He was going to die today, wasn't he?

"Kakashi-sensei," Iruka began, glaring at the man who might be his temporary co-teacher, "will be assisting me when he's available."

"I'm a clone," Kakashi said, mainly to be irritating.

"Why don't you introduce yourself to the CHILDREN, Hatake-san?" Iruka said, glaring at the man's reading materials.

"Maa, maa. My name's Hatake Kakashi." Silence followed his introduction.

"That's it?!" Iruka asked incredulously.

"I don't know what you expect from me, Iruka-kun."

"It's sensei," Iruka reminded the Copy Nin in a loud whisper, blushing a bright shade of pink.

Shikamaru hid his grin and decided not to sleep through class today. Well isn't this interesting? Maybe all those fanfic writers were right.

"Ninja wire?!" Naru asked in exasperation once she was awake. She couldn't help but whine whether she was secretly an adult or not. She HATED ninja wire! "Untie me please." Jiraiya and Itachi looked at her as if they didn't trust her. Naru huffed. "Please?"

"You promise not to go running back to Fire Country?" Jiraiya asked, even as he began to untie the rope that was also around her.

"I do not! And you should be helping me, Itachi-kun!"

"Tsunade-hime and Shizune-san returned to Konoha, Naru-chan," Itachi explained. Naruto calmed right down, smiling and so relieved it warmed his very anxious heart. "We are currently in Yugakure."

"That's quite close to Fire Country," Naruto commented before nodding at Jiraiya. "'I promise not to go running back there,' I suppose. But what's the plan? I don't want to be declared rogue."

"No problem there, kiddo," Jiraiya said, smiling in spite of their situation when he removed the chakra suppression ropes after seeing Naru's face light up in relief. "Sensei is the ONLY one who can decide such a thing and there's no way in hell that he's going to declare YOU, of all people, a rogue."

"Because I'm the jinchuuriki," she knew.

"And because he owes your father," Jiraiya said, finally finishing untying her. He watched as the blonde checked her skin, pouting even though she wasn't hurt by the wire. "He also owes YOU: Danzo was a pariah and megalomaniac that needed to go a long time ago."

He didn't like the way Naru looked sick at the reminder of what she'd done. Thinking of something - anything - to take her mind off it, he asked the first thing that came to his mind. "Why do you hate ninja wire so much?"

"She's terrible with it," Itachi said, smirking.

"It's from the devil!"

Itachi chuckled. "And it's Shisui's preferred method of disciplining her."

"Fucking wannabe pedophile," she whispered under her breath.

"Naru-chan, that is not funny," Itachi scolded. To soothe Jiraiya who looked a little fraught over her comment, he said only what he felt he must, determined not to fully snitch on his best friend/cousin. "Shisui might have a crush on a slightly younger girl. No, Jiraiya-sama: that is not Naru-chan. The girl in question is my age."

"Gross," Naru said immaturely. "Shishou's a big-brother figure: a great one, but he should find someone his own age."

"Oh, okay," Jiraiya muttered feeling a little bit better. "You know that you have the right to say no to any would-be suitors, don't you, Naruto-hime?"

Itachi tried to hide his surprised (and amused) expression at the old-fashioned term - coming from a man who wrote terrible smut.

"Yes, and please don't call me that. Just 'Naru' or Naru-chan is fine, 'ttebane. – Oh God: there it is again." Jiraiya smiled up down at her in such a wistful manner it made Naru a little uncomfortable.

"You sound just like your mother."

The blonde took a deep breath and tried to seem unaffected. Yes, Rachel had a mother in a previous life: one she grew up with, one she had trouble with, and one she loved very much. But everything she'd read about Uzumaki Kushina had stirred a deep longing within her that she didn't fully understand. "Perhaps you can tell me about her someday… or today?"

"I'd," Jiraiya began, thinking about how he had avoided talking about his student or his family for so long. He looked away and unnecessarily checked his goddaughter's sandals. "I think I'd like that." When he looked back up, Kushina's smile beamed up at him like the sun from the girl's face and Jiraiya actually felt comfort from it. "But first, to the onsens! I need a good soak after carrying you for so long. For a kid, you're heavy."

Naru looked scandalized and blushed a fiery red when she realized that Itachi had immediately nodded but was now looking away in embarrassment for doing so. "I'm - I'm at a healthy weight for my age!"

"You're tall. And 'solid'," Jiraiya said, thinking that's a good word.

The way he gestured as an explanation for that term into the air like he was outlining a horse's backside or something made it even worse for her.

"That is NOT what you tell an adolescent female to make her feel any better," Naru snarled and marched ahead of them. "Well? C'mon then!"

"Yes, ma'am," Jiraiya cried, catching up to her. One: Naru didn't know where she was going. Two: he was just glad he didn't get punched again, Uzumaki-style, for his meant-to-be appeasing comment.

Training and traveling with a girl was going to be different, Jiraiya realized. The only girl he'd formally trained had been Konan. Kami: if there's even a chance those kids are alive, I've got to try to find them. He didn't really believe what Itachi had told him, but the kid was right: there were too many similarities to the "anime" the Nara kid had in his memories to their real lives. "I don't suppose either of you has your own reincarnation story to tell?"

Itachi chuckled, but Naruto paled as she stopped in her tracks, and that shook Jiraiya to his core. "Kid?"

The blonde took a deep breath and glanced around to make sure they were alone. "My name was once Rachel McStannis. I was from Texas but lived and worked from Okinawa," she continued, figuring she sounded insane to her companions. Jiraiya-sama asked, though, so she was going to finally tell someone - anyone! For herself and the girl that was stuck in her mindscape, she felt like she'd go nuts one day SOON if she didn't. "I was headed back to my family but was killed in a plane crash."

Itachi had also stopped when she did, and the way he looked at her as if she was a different person HURT. Jiraiya, however, only seemed to be interested: he had taken out a little notebook and was writing things down.

"A plane doesn't happen to be something akin to a sky train?" Itachi asked in a small voice, almost wanting to laugh at himself but also feeling sick.

"I suppose that's a good way to describe it," Naru said, rubbing the back of her hair - an action she had inherited from her biological father that soothed her when she was embarrassed or uncomfortable. Itachi cursed and that startled her.

Itachi wasn't one to normally curse.

"I never saw an airship, but the old Sky Country supposedly had 'em," Jiraiya mentioned while writing furiously. "You're right, Itachi. They called some of smaller models 'planes,' too."

Itachi cursed his fate - no, I'm lucky that what's happened didn't cause me to take the actions that Shisui warned me about. He tried to smile at Naru, but it was difficult. If she was a reincarnated soul… Well, he supposed that didn't particularly matter, or shouldn't, and he tried not to let what she'd said get the best of him. She was often a serious person, so he believed her - if her current expression meant anything.

"We are all actors, set on the stage of the world. As the curtains open we put on our best performance to this audience of life," he said quietly.

"Shakespeare said something like 'all the world's a stage, and all of us merely players.' Rush had a song about that too called Limelight. Kinda similar, huh?" Naru asked.

Itachi nodded and looked at the Toad Sage, sighing when he realized the man was writing down everything they'd just said. Turning to Naru he looked at her more appraisingly. "Are you familiar with the drama, Rei and the Sky Train?"

"No," Naru said, and it seemed that Jiraiya wasn't either. The older man turned to lead them to a nearby inn with an onsen where he patted Naru on the head in a fatherly fashion.

"You go on in, and Itachi and I will see you when you're done. I'll check in for us." After doing so, Naru parted ways after assuring him that she could take care of herself. Watching her go to the women's section, Jiraiya tapped the pencil that was in his hand and asked Itachi what he was talking about. "What's this drama you mentioned?"

That was the safest question he could ask when people were around. And he had a LOT of questions.

"Rei and the Sky Train is a popular animated daytime drama, which is particularly unusual considering its time slot…"

"I LOVE that show," the innkeeper exclaimed. "Can you believe they killed off Rei?! I mean - oh my gods! And crashing the Sky Train: straight into the other lead, whom Rei had never met?!" she continued to gush - something that later embarrassed her. The two men she was going on like a lunatic to about an animated series were obviously shinobi, after all. "I mean, we ALL thought that Rei and Lee were going to be together: everything was obviously leading up to it! Then POOF: they're both dead! I still don't know where the show's going now… Sorry," she finally said in embarrassment.

"That's alright," Itachi said, looking grim. "My mother and little brother used to watch that show." He wondered if his parents and Sasuke were alright, and being away from them after what had happened hurt. And it was nearly unbearable to think about Shisui's condition.

"Yeah," the innkeeper sighed, glad that the young man might understand her passion for the series then. "I guess it's brave for the show's creator to do something so extreme, and I can't wait to see what they do in the next season. It's taking forever!"

She was even more embarrassed when the two handsome shinobi left her without saying another word.

Once relaxing and soaking in the waters, Itachi bravely mentioned something he would've previously thought to be ridiculous to the Toad Sage. "Nara Shikamaru believed that in his past life, he was a man named Lee. And 'Rachel' is oddly close to the name, 'Rei,' don't you think?"

"What are you getting at?" Jiraiya asked, sinking into the water further.

"Rei and Lee were the protagonists that were, apparently, killed off in Rei and The Sky Train," Itachi explained, hoping that the Toad Sage would get it. He couldn't seem to force himself to look at the man and felt like he'd just made a fool of himself.

Jiraiya, however, smirked, his "awesome writer senses" going haywire. There was definitely a great story here, just waiting to be written - or REwritten! "You think Naru-chan is - was - this Rei person, and that Shika-kun was the Lee in that story?!"

Itachi only shrugged his shoulders, looking away and feeling embarrassed. Jiraiya was way too giddy about this, considering that their lives might be mere fantasies in someone else's reality. And the old shinobi's giggling was beginning to get to him.

Jiraiya drew his large hand out of the water, imagining his new book's title appearing in front of him like a large banner. "TACTICS: the tale of two gods, falling in love of course, and RUINING the lives of those mere mortals they're messing with!"

Itachi looked at him in disbelief, his Killing Intent expanding more and more as Jiraiya's grin widened.

"Whoa, kid," Jiraiya soothed, scooting back as the kid's Sharingan spun to life. "Haven't you read my books? Love ALWAYS wins - well, eventually - and anyone standing in the way gets what's coming to them!"

Itachi looked toward the wall that Naru was clearly soaking behind - her warm chakra was everywhere - deciding he'd had quite enough. "You're planning to kill off these gods?" he asked in disbelief. Was Jiraiya really planning to write what he thought he was? At the expense of his goddaughter, someone Itachi felt close to?

At the expense of his brother?! Because the Naruto story Shisui had told him about was as much about Sasuke as it was her!

"Maybe not kill them off: but… Take away their power? Sure! So that love can rule!"

"I suppose that's acceptable," Itachi said as he stood to leave the onsen. "It is unacceptable to force Naru-chan and Nara-kun together." He glared at the old shinobi, feeling inexplicably peeved the more he considered that. "If nothing else, her married name would be ridiculous."

"No way I'd do that," Jiraiya said irritably before more awesome thoughts came to his mind. The idea that writers created actual realities? Oh, it was so seductive! "Maybe force the other gods to make the main two gods of the story humans in the end," he said to himself, wishing he had his notebook close by. "Wait up, Uchiha! How do I see this Sky Train thing?! I gotta figure out how to pull this all together!"

Rachel/Naru sat in the onsen and in her mindscape, trying to convince herself that she'd done the right thing by admitting the truth.

"You're lucky you told the craziest shinobi on the planet your story."

"Really? I - I can't imagine what Itachi thinks of me," Rachel admitted. Naruto nodded her head but got up, although Rachel was far too deep in her thoughts to notice.

"Fucking Uchiha," the Kyuubi muttered reflexively.

"I'm not needed here anymore," Naruto said, hands on her hips.

Rachel looked over at her, thinking that the girl didn't look overweight. Was she?

"I'm sorry: what did you say?" Stupid old shinobi, making her doubt how she looked and feeling weird over her weight!

"I said you've got this," Naruto chirped. "Just remember that YOU were the one who battled with Ero-sennin and Tsunade. And that toad. And the freaks attacking our family," she added, her voice going high. "YOU are the one speaking and reading what you call 'Japanese!' And I never knew anything about seals!"

"So?" Rachel asked, not getting where this was going.

"So," Naruto said, smiling gently. She raised her hands into a very familiar hand seal. "Ja!"

Rachel's mouth fell open as the girl dispelled. "What the fuck?!"

"About time," the Kyuubi sighed dramatically. "She was a total brat, and I thought you'd totally lost it. The great Kyuubi no Kitsune cannot have an insane jinchuuriki. That's my brother's job."

Rachel struggled to breathe but realized that Naruto - the girl who'd been stuck in her mind since being captured - or maybe since she killed Danzo - was really just a shadow clone she'd apparently created in her mindscape. She had all of her memories… "Why is this my life?" she whimpered.

She was Naru now. She had always been Naru.

"I'm not Rachel anymore," she said and felt herself shrink. Looking down at her body within her mindscape, she was that very blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl with light scar-like birthmarks on her cheeks. She was a little tall and developed for her age, and she didn't think she was fat… "Can I have a hug?"

"Absolutely not!"