DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything from the Naruto universe.

Thinking (+ flashbacks, "Naru speaking to the Kyuubi in her mindscape," etc.)

Emphasis

Bijuu, etc. speaking

Bijuu, etc. thinking

The following years proved a long (and sometimes wonderful) time to be away from Konoha.

Jiraiya and Tsunade had taught Naru a lot. Although it was very difficult in the beginning, they almost seemed like comically arguing grandparents now. Although the three of them were only together every few months, Naru enjoyed that time the most. When they first left Konoha and Itachi had eventually left on some kind of long-term mission, Tsunade hadn't allowed Naru to be alone with a man who described himself as a "Super Pervert." Now, though? Both of them trusted Jiraiya completely - or as much as a person can be trusted in this strange, differently-violent world.

Jiraiya had proven himself a renewed and faithful teacher and guardian, even when Naru had given him hell about some of his previous actions - especially the first time she caught him and realized what he was trying to do.

"Are you serious? You CANNOT spy on women that are undressed, and I will report you to the authorities if I have to," Naru scolded. "Do you realize that in my old world, you could've gone to jail for what you were about to do?"

She hadn't cared that the old man had sputtered in outrage, or had tried to defend himself.

"And don't deny you love your fame so much, you creep. In my world, you woulda been canceled, and the whole world would've known why!"

Jiraiya was a famous author - or at least he said that he was - of the equivalent to a Harlequin romance series that was more tailored for men than women.

He was the only one of "those who knew" who really did acknowledge that "Rachel" once came from somewhere else, but it was a place he wanted her to let go of. Texas, Jiraiya claimed, wasn't a real place, but Naru found that hard to believe. If there was a mythical place he knew of called "Japan" that was unreachable to those born within lands that had chakra, then why couldn't Texas be out there, too? It made no sense!

Then again, she could breathe fire and spit mud, cause violent storms by manipulating her energy and the wind (the wind that called to her most of her waking moments,) and was beginning to master water, too. Uzumaki Kushina held mastery over water, so Naru decided that she would, as well.

She wasn't good at iryo-ninjutsu yet, but she was good at taijutsu like Tsunade was. Not as good, but she was coming along.

And since Jiraiya and Tsunade so easily discounted her getting back to check on Rachel's family in Texas, she had given them the "special honorifics" of abuela y abuelo.

Anyway, for a 14-year-old girl, she was a pretty damn good kunoichi. Because of her circumstances, Naru mostly trained when they weren't hunting bandits or rogues, but that was about to change. The Chunin Exams began this afternoon, and the Hokage was forcing her to retake them.

She had fought and nabbed A-class shinobis - and was in at least one Bingo Book! - but she had to retake the frickin' Chunin Exams!

Naru missed her shishou and his family, of course, but Konoha as a whole was a different ball game. After traveling for so long with her new mentors, (along with a few others here and there,) Naru now felt that Fire Country was about the nicest place to live as far as climate and resources went, but the people in Konoha were the problem.

Since she'd managed to put the almost childish separation anxiety she had earlier experienced from being away from Shisui to the side, she hadn't really wanted to go back to Konoha. Maybe one day she and the furry still-not-friend that she'd been sealed with could go into hiding?

Shisui. As a former adult, it had been embarrassing to realize just how attached she was to the teen she'd spent so much time with when she had to leave Konoha. The longer she felt that way, the more Naru decided to just be a kid while she was a kid. Shisui was the first person outside of Naru's ANBU guard who had wanted her, after all. Sure, she guessed that he was on jinchuuriki guard duty, too, but Naru knew that Shisui gave her something more: an extended family and was a person that saw her as more than just an extension of her parents.

Or the holder of the fox.

She missed the Uchihas. Supposedly things had changed a lot in the village since she had been back, but Naru wasn't sure that she liked the idea of the (remaining) Uchihas connecting more with the rest of the village. The Uchiha District used to be the place where she felt safe, until that awful, awful day.

It was time to go back, though, and as they approached the gates, Naru's confident, silent steps became shorter and shorter.

"C'mon, gaki," Jiraiya said, turning toward her. "The exam starts in an hour and we've put this off for far too long."

"Sensei is going to have our heads that we didn't take you to see him first," Tsunade said in agreement.

Naruto shrugged. She didn't really care about what that "senile old fossil" (Tsunade's words) thought of her. When her distant cousin and godfather began walking again, Naru looked behind her and thought about running. As good as Jiraiya and Tsunade were, she was faster than they were when she really wanted to be.

"Don't even think about it," Tsunade shouted over her shoulder. "And what did I tell you to do once we got here?"

Naru gulped and nodded. The three of them signed in: there was extra security at the gate, and Naru threw her long hair over her shoulder and took off with big strides and her head held high. Tsunade began chuckling which didn't make anything any easier for the teen.

"Straight to the Academy, brat," Jiraiya yelled at her before looking back at Tsunade. "The 'Texas strut:' I can't believe you taught her that," he whined as he looked away from watching his teenage goddaughter basically shaking her ass as she turned heads, her hair whipping behind her. That damn hair of hers was alive even without an added jutsu!

The swinging hips were completely unnecessary!

"I didn't teach her anything like that: she's just bold - or acting like it," Tsunade admitted in just over a whisper before smiling and clapping her hands together. "And if she wants to pretend she's from a mythical place, what can I do about it? I've told you before: she's 'not right' when it comes to that." Tsunade had tapped at her temple as if to describe the younger blonde as "touched."

"SHUSH," Jiraiya demanded in a hiss as he followed Naru to ensure no one bothered her. Once they were a good distance away from other people, he turned to his teammate, giving her a disappointed look.

"Oh, come on, Jiraiya: you know I love the kid!"

"I do, but you always discount that she was only minutes old when she was exposed to the Shinigami. Be careful of what you laugh at, Tsunade: it's not good to get the negative attention of gods."

Naru had been hoping that Shisui or Mikoto would be waiting for her, but the only Uchihas she saw were those around her age (they were a little older) that were also filing into the Academy aside from shopkeepers who were busy, their shops having moved to the main drag of the village. She was really disappointed, especially since she hadn't received a letter from either of them in a long time.

Two guys were holding a BUNCH of kids back from entering the wrong room - Naru looked at her little slip of paper to make sure she remembered where she was going, and snuck around them, walking on the wall so that she could get upstairs. A fight broke out, and Naru looked downstairs to see SASUKE fighting with a guy who looked so much like Lee, that Naru felt herself pout.

Gai had a kid and had never told her?! So unfair!

She winced and hid further when she saw Sasuke begin to get his ass kicked. The sight of pink hair made her breath hitch.

That girl had been really mean. Really, Naru? THAT'S what you're worried about?!

She took a deep breath and almost yelled when a somewhat familiar face - well, a bit of a face - was right in front of her.

"Hiding in the broom closet?" he asked pleasantly, handing the blonde back the shuriken she'd chucked at him.

"You're the dog shinobi," Naru whispered aloud, then scolded herself. "Sorry," she said, rubbing the back of her head and giving him a dirty look when he stepped into the closet with her and closed the door, although she figured she could always Rasengan her way out of there. Jiraiya-abuelo had warned her that Sharingan no Kakashi was terribly socially inept, her godbrother, and absolutely harmless. Tsunade-abuela had said that he was anything but - although she did describe his life as "tragic."

And what do I decide to say to him? "You're the dog shinobi?"

Are you an idiot, Naru?! She cleared her throat and tried to smile up at him politely.

"I remember your ninken from the Forest of Death from a while back, don't I? Were they okay? I've thought of them many times and always wanted to know if any of them were hurt in that explosion."

"Maa, maa! They're fine but are quite lazy." He then went silent and kept staring at her, seeming to smile happily under his mask.

Naru waited for him to say something else or to introduce himself, but he seemed content to simply stand there, inside a small broom closet with her. "You must love your dogs very much to put their faces on your big mud wall. That was very impressive, by the way." She bit her lip, not enjoying reliving that day at all. Why in the world had she brought it up?! Jesus: her emotions were all over at returning to this place, weren't they?

Surprisingly, she felt a gloved hand ruffle her hair.

"It's nice to see you, Naruto," Kakashi's clone said. "Go get 'em." He - well, he was now obviously a clone - added, before dispelled.

When she carefully poked her head out of the room, she saw the real Hatake Kakashi, (maybe,) standing in front of three of her former classmates, his eye crinkling similarly as he spoke softly to them. She couldn't help but smile when she again noticed the hair that could only belong to one person but made her way quietly behind that team into room 301.

"Look who it is," a ponytailed Chunin-hopeful said as he lazily walked forward. Naru smiled at him, ignoring the Yamanaka girl she remembered too well. "Ino" had been awful to her even when she'd tried to buy flowers for her parents' graves. It was only when she was with Shisui that the girl showed any type of "kindness."

"How are you, Shikamaru?" Naru asked, remembering getting high with him. Maybe they could do it again sometime?

She was a terrible excuse for a kid, wasn't she? And as an adult, really, if she wanted to get stoned with a KID!

"You look good," she said. He did. Shikamaru still looked like he would fall asleep standing up, but was also just as muscle-bound as she was. She began chuckling when he blushed from her comment. "Now, now: don't get any ideas."

"You're so troublesome."

Naruto laughed more, a deep sound from her chest that he found very attractive. –Not that he was interested, that way, although she was an incredibly beautiful girl. Shikamaru's eyebrows shot up as Sasuke cleared his throat from behind her. Was the stoic Uchiha Sasuke actually GRINNING?

Or was that a smirk?

"You're here, too," Sasuke said to her.

"I am. How have you been, Sasuke?" Naru's eyes grew large when a few girls nearly attacked the poor boy, shoving him a few feet backward and toward the corner. Sasuke shook them off, his Sharingan swirling to life as he glared at them before he pulled his old friend/sister-figure into a corner. Naru tried to keep her head held high when she heard some really unkind names being hurled - or hissed - her way by his fans.

"Sorry about them," Sasuke said, not looking sorry at all. "I'm good. How have you been?"

"Pretty good."

She immediately asked, "Are Mikoto-oba and shishou okay?" just as Sasuke asked, "When was the last time you saw Itachi-nii-san?" Both kids looked away from each other awkwardly but understood where the other was coming from, and Naru gestured that she'd go first. She put down a silencing seal that also held a genjutsu so that people would lose interest in what someone inside of it was doing.

It was her own design, and one of the very few (and relatively shitty) genjutsus she could do.

"I saw Itachi about six months ago, I guess?" Naru wasn't allowed to say that he had been hurt. She had come uncharacteristically unglued when she saw the Uchiha heir cough up blood. Thankfully, Tsunade had still been with her, although she was supposed to have left days before because Itachi had been stabbed and poisoned! Apparently, it wasn't the first time, because she knew that Itachi was now on medication for the long-term effects of the old poisoning. "He had to go back to his mission, but spent a few days with us."

Sasuke nodded, relieved but still wondering what his older brother was up to. He wanted him to come home. "Shisui is a pain in the neck, and Kaa-chan's fine. She's - well, I'll explain later." Both of their attention was taken when Shikamaru - NARA SHIKAMARU - began expelling Killing Intent at a gray-haired older boy Naru recognized well who had walked up to their old classmates.

Naruto picked up her seal from the floor, deactivating it and putting it back inside a larger scroll.

"HER," Ino said, pointing at Naruto.

What's going on here?

"Ah," the boy said, pushing up his glasses and looking through some cards. "Namikaze Naruto…" Gasps were heard, and Naru closed her eyes, deciding that she'd enjoy kicking this guy's ass this time since he started her secrets. What was he? A fanboy or a spy?! She honestly couldn't believe he was still a Genin. Had he been denied promotion because he mistakenly attacked her?

"Uz-u-ma-ki," Naru corrected him in a hiss, sounding out each syllable for him. Kabuto seemed to shrug but did close his eyes and flinch when Naru let her chakra flare (read: lash out) at him: at least it kept him from going on about her sealing abilities. "I remember you. I think I may now owe you a beating. Kabuto."

"Alright, maggots," Morino Ibiki began yelling, but as Naru moved to her assigned seat, her ire only grew when she ran into a red-haired kid with HUGE and dark bags under his eyes who was spilling KI and crazy more than everyone else in the room, combined.

"Hey," she said to Crazy as she tried to move past him.

"Mother wants your blood," the Suna shinobi said dangerously. He definitely looked disturbed.

"Oh-kay," she drawled, glad that she wasn't sitting too close to him. She began to say hello to her old, decent classmate, Hinata, but a voice scared her silly.

"You need to kill her! Give me her blood!"

Naruto's eyes went wide at the high-pitched voice that seemed to echo around the room, and she looked around, but Kyuubi-sama had called her to him before she could make a bigger fool of herself. He shook his head and held one finger up in front of his lips. She almost wanted to laugh. What was he up to?

"Did you hear that?"

The fox looked like he wanted to vomit or laugh: Naruto wasn't sure which. He nodded, but kept his finger up, looking like he was pleading with her - and that was new. "Okay. Maybe you can explain later?" The fox shrugged but his expression indicated that he was maybe… embarrassed?

Naru could hardly believe that she'd taken almost the exact same written test she had the first time, with the same thing happening for question ten. At least this time, she thought she got all of the answers right.

Naru let out a happy shriek when Anko broke into the room - literally - hurling herself right through the window. She could only smile broadly as the woman tried to scare all of the remaining Genin.

Anko then kidnapped her, gagging her and tying a blindfold over her eyes, but Naru didn't care. She hadn't seen Anko in almost two years. She happily went along for the ride, wondering why Anko was sunshinning around the village with her thrown over her shoulder as she informed her of the latest gossip. Naru was untied in a plain room, in the middle of a seal. For a second, she panicked, and then all of the chakra signatures hit her hard enough to make her fall down.

"SURPRISE!"

The blonde almost began crying as she was quickly in the arms of Shisui and Mikoto before she was wrestled away by Genma and Gai. Fugaku was nearby, and Naru gave him a big hug. He was in a wheelchair now but had supposedly taken Danzo's place on the council.

"It's really good to see you all!"

"When was the last time you saw Itachi?" Shisui asked when they were alone later that night. He was shining a light over her head and was doing his best to interrogate her, although she didn't find him particularly scary. Shisui was too nice, and most of the things he was asking were really funny. "Tell me everything," he continued. "How was he… Hmm. Did he smell bad, how much pocky has he been eating, and what was he wearing?"

"You guys are all Itachi-obsessed," Naruto lamented, realizing that she had a test in the Forest of Death she had to begin in less than eight hours. "I don't have much more to tell you, though! Tsunade checked him out, and," Naru tried not to blush, BUT "he still smells more like peppermint, campfires, and chocolate: that's a weird thing to ask, by the way. And," she had to stop because she felt like steam would come out of her ears.

Damn hormones!

"What? What was he wearing?!"

"You are a creep!"

"I'm not a… OH. MY. GODS," Shisui slowly bit out, his mouth open as he seemed to dissect her. Naru reached up and turned off the light, but he could still see her cute little red face. "You have a crush on my cousin!"

"I do not," Naru snarked, swatting him.

"Was he naked then?!"

Why was Naru blushing so hard?

"NO!" Naru nearly shrieked. He had just been shirtless and… very impressive. At 19? Yeah, Itachi had looked NOT his age - or maybe she just didn't remember what men could look like, shirtless - aside from giant old Jiraiya. Although I'd only been worried about Itachi's wound at the time.

Absolutely: 100%, that's what I was doing, she told herself.

"I gotta get some sleep, shishou. Keep your pervy dreams about your cousin to yourself!"

Shisui's mouth fell open. "GRROSS! I was just giving you a hard time, brat!"

"Whatever you say!"

Shisui walked her toward the Forest of Death's tall fence the next morning. She thought he might temporarily be mentoring the Uchiha triplets' team for someone else in the clan. The triplets were a couple of years older than her and very silent. She'd always referred to them as Huey, Dewy, and Louie in her mind since their actual names were very similar to those. Naru decided that if she had to get something off of any team again, she'd be avoiding that team of (unfortunately creepy) Uchihas as well as that one Suna team.

"Hey, Naru," Shikamaru said as he slowly approached her after she gave something to Sasuke. Sasuke had CHOKED and he couldn't help but wonder what that was about. Naru gave him a happy little salute as she turned around and smiled at Choji, who offered her a chip. "I didn't get to ask you yesterday, but who's on your team?"

Naru reached behind her head, but changed track, adjusting her ponytail. "I'm actually running this by myself," she said quietly.

"That's dangerous," Choji said. Ino looked like she was going to have a stroke.

Naruto nodded and said she'd be alright. "What's wrong?" she finally asked the Nara heir.

He stepped closer to her, glad that he was as tall as she was now. "You're a sensor, right?" he asked in a whisper. Naru bobbed her head, looking at him with concerned azure eyes. "Do you sense anyone competing that… just seems wrong?"

Naru's eyes almost bugged out for a second over the question before she took a look over all of the Genin gathered. "There's a Suna nin you should avoid," she admitted, making sure that the disturbed redhead was far enough away not to hear her. "I think he's on a team with the Kazekage's other children."

Gaara, Shikamaru knew. Yeah, he planned to avoid the present Gaara at all costs and had already advised his friends to do the same.

"Also that Kabuto guy," she nodded toward the bespectacled Genin and his different teammates. "He's mine," she said darkly before giving Shikamaru a brilliant if not a fake smile. "It's probably best not to fight with Konoha nins, anyway, and those Oto nins…" She shook her head, unable to figure out why they bugged her. "I just can't put my finger on it. Oh! The Hyuugas are always strong, and I think that Neji is teamed up with Maito-san's son, so he's bound to be a very tough opponent."

Shikamaru realized who she meant and couldn't help but laugh. "Troublesome. Lee's his apprentice: he's not Gai-sensei's son."

There was only one thing the blonde could say to that: "Get the hell outta here." Naru needed to get a blood sample from those two because she would bet money that they were related. Normally, you'd have to get consent papers for things like that, but she was a ninja. Would Ayame be upset if Gai had a son? Naru scratched her head, thinking about it, then wondered if maybe Lee was Ayame's kid, too. She didn't know how old they were now, and ninjas did lots of things early since they couldn't exactly expect to have a long life.

Nah: the time necessary didn't seem to make sense, at least for Ayame Ichiraku. Lee could still potentially be Gai's son, though.

"Does anyone feel almost... too strong?" Shikamaru then asked quietly as they went to turn in their Konoha-Will-Allow-You-to-Die papers. He looked toward Gaara, accidentally catching his eye but really meant Orochimaru.

"There's a lot of strong people here. But me and Red?" she said, giving the poor kid who looked like he hadn't slept in months a bob of her head, "we've got the biggest chakra signatures here by a long shot."

"Huh," Shikamaru said, telling her nothing else. He didn't see anyone with a long tongue like he'd remembered in the anime, either. Then again, there were four Uchihas in this exam and only two had even survived to this point in the Naruto storyline he knew from when HE was a man named Lee. He guessed he needed to give it up.

Shikamaru seemed VERY nervous, Naru thought. "Hey," she said, bumping his shoulder. "We're friends, right?"

"Always," he replied firmly, obviously surprising her.

"Okay," she sighed and pulled him to the side. "Keep this a secret and well-secured, okay? If you need assistance, I'll be there." She pulled out a kunai, attempting to hide it in her hand as she passed it to him.

Shikamaru's eyes felt like they'd fall out of his head as his jaw dropped open: a three-pronged kunai? "You've gotta be shitting me!"

"C'mon, man! Just keep it hidden!"

"Yes, ma'am! And thank you, Naruto. This means a lot to me. I just hope I won't need it."