The death of Mary Macdonald struck Hogwarts like a melancholic bolt of lightning, time slowed down as the castle entered a period of mourning for the fallen Gryffindor who had a very bright future ahead of her, no one could believe the happy-go-lucky girl was gone, her life destroyed in a single explosion that rocked the castle emotionally and physically.

Classes were cancelled for the rest of the week and exams were postponed. Mercifully, due to Professor Dumbledore's close connections within the Ministry and his masterful persuasion expertise, the school was to remain open with a small team of aurors permanently stationed around the grounds as part of his agreement with Bartemius. They were so close to the end of the term that the Head of Magical Law Enforcement favoured the mindset of keeping business running like usual and Minister for Magic Harold Minchum was inspired by their British 'keep calm and carry on' attitude and signed off on the decision, not wanting to publically cave to Voldemort's wishes. Parents were reassured and the papers were light on the tragedy that hit Hogwarts, but the trauma of Mary's death still lingered like a cold breeze amongst the student body.

Dorcas hadn't spoken since the incident, she refused to speak to anyone and remained in the hospital wing with those who were greatly affected by the attack. Marlene joined her, she had been hysterical ever since she heard the news that Mary had been killed and didn't stop crying until Madam Pomfrey force-fed her a soothing elixir that helped her calm down. Michelle Davies and the other Ravenclaws were in pieces, utterly dumbstruck that their honorary housemate was gone and they tried to help Dorcas as much as they could - a puffy-eyed Edgar stayed by her side for three days straight, not daring to leave in case she broke down again. The rest of Gryffindor felt lost, not quite sure how to react to the absence of one of their own, and they were very sympathetic towards the seventh years who were suffering dearly.

Remus and Peter tried their best to remain the most positive, it was strange how people reacted to shocking, life-changing news, and they helped out with comforting their housemates with funny little pranks to take their mind off the sadness that was suffocating them. James seemed to grow up overnight and he took his role of Head Boy incredibly seriously, he jumped into action and supported the staff with the tough tasks of keeping spirits high and tensions low, but it was obvious that he was only making an effort because of his distraught girlfriend. Lily was all over the place, trying to do ten things at once to distract herself from properly mourning her close friend; she was a whirlwind of organised chaos and she could only find peace when James was at her side.

Giselle was exhausted and numb for the first three days, she couldn't stop picturing Dorcas rocking Mary's dead body every time she closed her eyes but she didn't want the pictures to stop, that was the last time she saw her friend and she couldn't face the facts that she was gone yet. Since the entirety of her house was suffering, the seventh years the most, she knew everyone was feeling the same way so she never felt the need to burden anyone else with her sleeping troubles and she didn't want to stop Lily from dealing with her grief in her own way - with Marlene in the infirmary with Dorcas and Edgar, and Lily spending her nights falling asleep in James' arms, Giselle lied awake in the girls dormitory all by herself. The four empty beds haunted her, she tossed and turned all night as she prayed to the universe to give her some relief from the pain they were feeling but she felt like the cold beds around her were a reminder that everything around her was falling apart.

She hadn't spoken to Sirius since that evening. Once help arrived, they were whisked away to the hospital wing where their housemates met them and the heartbreaking news was announced. They never found a moment of solace to speak about their feelings, Giselle watched Sirius console Marlene all evening as she was the most heartbroken, he couldn't leave her side while she was in this condition and Giselle knew for a fact that any mention of her confession would be the final hammer on the nail that was Marlene's emotional state - they acted like nothing had happened and Giselle purposely kept her distance from him, Marlene needed him now more than ever and she couldn't step in between them.

The night before Mary's memorial Giselle wandered up to her dorm all by herself again, her eyes firmly glued on her heavy legs as she got lost in her thoughts once more. She had just left her friends outside the tower, she couldn't face another visit to the hospital wing like they had planned and she mumbled her goodnites, avoiding all of their faces as she left. Peter suggested they check on Marlene before they headed off to bed but Giselle couldn't stomach another mournful display, she reached her tolerance of tears a day ago and much rather preferred to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling for hours instead.

Just as she expected, the pitch dark dorm greeted her with a howl of chilling air and she slumped around the tower, getting ready for bed with no regard for her surroundings. She couldn't stop thinking about Dorcas, she was heartbroken for the girl who suddenly lost the love of her life and she hated to think about how much pain she was in, lying in the hospital wing with nothing but heavy grief in her heart. Her eyes watered again as she shrugged into her striped baggy pyjama pants and shoved on the first t-shirt she found, a tight muggle slogan t shirt she had bought while on a school trip to Paris, she didn't care that the vivid colours clashed horribly and she collapsed on her windowsill instead of her dishevelled bed, the view of the silent grounds were a lot more interesting than the bare ceiling and she needed the distraction more than ever.

What if it was Sirius that died in the explosion instead of Mary? What if he passed away in her arms instead of Dorcas' and she was the one curled up in the infirmary with nothing but memories of the love of her life? The opposition were getting closer, the attacks on Hogwarts were a clear sign from Voldemort that he could easily penetrate the castle right under Dumbledore's nose and he wanted to force the headmaster into the hands of defeat, and the threat of dying was way too real now. The war had cost her two roommates, they were dropping like flies and they hadn't even graduated yet.

Giselle knew she needed to do something before it was too late, before she or another loved one was murdered for the cause that was beyond them. She told Sirius the truth but she needed to know his answer, she needed him to choose her before it was too late and one of them ended up dead. The ball was in his court, she had to wait for him to come to her-

The door creaked open and Giselle whipped her head around, taken aback by the sudden appearance of a visitor, but her stomach plummeted out of her arse when she realised that the sparkling silver eyes shining through the darkness at her belonged to the very boy she had been thinking about.

"Do you mind if I join you?" whispered Sirius, cautiously entering the room without taking his eyes off the girl sitting in the moonlit window. Giselle felt goosebumps appear at the sound of his deep voice and she jerkily shook her head, offering him a seat beside her. She shuffled up and watched him slide onto the sill, licking his lips as he tried to find the right words, and she took his silence as a moment to admire the ugly sweater he was wearing - it was one of Remus' and she had to admit that he looked effortlessly handsome in it, the ghastly orange made his eyes pop.

"I thought you would still be in the hospital wing," Giselle mumbled when he stayed silent, and he chuckled slightly.

"Elle we went to the infirmary hours ago, it's almost two o'oclock in the morning," he informed her, nodding at Lily's alarm clock on the nearby dresser, and Giselle leant her head against her knees. Had she really been sitting here for hours? She felt as though she had just sat down! Time really wasn't her friend.

"Oh," she snorted, muffled by her thighs as she hugged her legs, "whoops. How are they?"

"They're… better than yesterday," he answered carefully, leaning against the wall as he watched her, "Dorcas sends her love."

The tears came a lot easier this time and Giselle pressed her face harder into her legs, letting her trousers soak up the moisture before she finally met his eye. "I can't stop thinking about it," she whispered, repulsed by the image of Dorcas' horrified face glistening from Mary's fresh dark blood.

"Neither can I," muttered Sirius, sounding more tired than before, "every time I look at Dorcas I just see Mary there in her arms, we couldn't do anything…"

Giselle nodded, taking deep breaths and leaning back against the icy cold pane. The temporary coldness helped deter her goosebumps and she dared to pat his arm, "is it horrible to say that I'm glad it's not just me?"

Sirius laughed properly and shook his head, grabbing her hand to keep it on his arm. "Nope, if you're happy that I'm in pain then by all means use my agony to heal yourself," he teased, and just for a moment she saw his gaze drop to her lips. Her heart spasmed but she drew away, worried about what would happen if she stayed very still.

"Why are you here?" she whispered, searching his face for an explanation, "what do you want?"

Sirius smoothed back his hair and slumped, gazing mournfully at her. "I've been working up the courage to say this for the past three days, you don't know how many times I've walked up and down those steps debating whether I should say this to you or not, but I don't think I can physically stay away from you anymore," he admitted in a soft whisper, chewing on his bottom lip to calm his nerves, and Giselle blinked. Merlin's beard, it's happening…

"You got your chance to say your part but now I need to say mine, I can't hold onto this anymore and you deserve to hear my thoughts," he confessed, tilting his head slightly as he gazed at her, and Giselle swallowed the lump in her throat. She couldn't bear the idea that he was about to reject her but the twitching corners of his lips were a sure sign of hope and her butterflies went berserk in her abdomen.

"Giselle, I don't think you will ever understand how incredible it felt to hear you say that in person and I want to assure you that the feeling is extraordinarily mutual," admitted Sirius, reaching over and grabbing her shaky hands. The familiar roughness of his palm was heavenly and Giselle waited, her eyes wide in anticipation as he poured his heart out. "I'm sure you've probably guessed, or Prongs has already told you since he's refused to stay out of it, but I've been trying to break up with Marlene for a while now and I was planning on doing it after our lesson but… you know…" He trailed off and Giselle pouted at their laps, feeling incredibly guilty.

"I know," she whispered sadly. Sirius ending things with Marlene would be the cruel cherry on top of the already heartbreaking cake, it would destroy her, and Giselle knew perfectly well the struggle that was going on inside his mind - he cared about Marlene a lot, he didn't want things to end like this.

"I get it," she assured him, "my declaration couldn't have had worse timing and I apologise for that," she ended with a heavy sigh, but Sirius grabbed her chin and lifted her head, needing to see her twinkling navy eyes.

"Don't be sorry for that," he told her sternly, "Marlene and I haven't been working for a long time, ever since we got our letters back I've been all over the place pretending that I wasn't still madly in love with you and she knows my feelings towards her have changed, I'm a pretty piss poor actor."

"But I can't…" Giselle's lip wobbled and she drew away from his hands again, "we can't do anything until you end it with her, she deserves better than that."

Sirius frowned, a little sour at her insinuations, "I may be an arsehole but I'm not that much of an arsehole, I've been maintaining my temptations for months now so a few more days won't matter," he said deeply, crossing his arms to sway himself, and Giselle shuffled away, hiding her cheeky smirk with her dark curtain of wavy hair. He's wanted me for months… but how long is a 'few days'?

"Sirius…" she breathed, her eyebrows crumpling as he looked hopefully at her, "are you absolutely sure about all of this? About us?"

"I've been sure since the day I met you during the Sorting ceremony in our first year, Princess" he declared, unable to keep his hands off her freckled face and he smoothed his thumb across the days old scratch on her brow, "please, give me a couple of days and then we can finally work all of this out. I don't want to lose you again, I need to have you."

YES!

Giselle sighed and closed her eyes, savouring the sensation of his loving touch. "I'll be waiting," she agreed, enjoying the wave of his lush aromatic hair conditioner as it washed over her, soaking her with his adoration. She wanted nothing more than for him to kiss her but she fought the dark temptation and started to draw away when the dorm door creaked open once more.

The pair jumped apart and tried to cover their flushing faces as their friends strolled in, catching them in the act. Sirius' hands immediately shot up into the air as though he were making it very clear that he wasn't touching her, and Giselle froze, smiling awkwardly at four that were watching them.

"Er, hi," Giselle chirped, and Remus spoke up first. He pushed Lily out of the way and walked over, looking from one to the other with the biggest grin on his face.

"Has Padfoot finally grown a set of balls yet and confessed?" he wondered, perching on the end of Giselle's bed, and Giselle cackled as Sirius threw the nearest item - her Potions textbook - at him.

"I believe his balls have finally come through," she teased, smirking at the boy beside her, and he scoffed, arching his brow at her as though daring her to try him.

"Says the one who thought confessing their undying love for me at the back of an Astronomy lesson was a good idea?" he said deeply, and Giselle was radiant as her blush sizzled her freckled skin.

"Me and Time aren't friends, I don't have the best timing in the world I'll give you that," she murmured through her hands as she hid, but Sirius pried them from her face and disagreed wholeheartedly.

"Your timing was impeccable, Princess."

"What are you guys doing up here anyways?" Giselle rushed to change the subject, not wanting to flirt with Sirius any more than she already had, and Lily took charge as she had charmed the candles around the room to life, trying to make the room less dreary. Now there were two empty sections in the dormitory, it felt less homely and full, the dressers were bare and already gathering dust, it was painfully obvious that Mary was gone and the group tried not to look at her neatly-made bed too much.

"We thought we would have a group sleepover tonight," explained Lily, sniffling softly as she pulled back her bed's curtains, "the Ravenclaws are with Marls and Dorcas in the hospital wing tonight since it's the memorial tomorrow and we decided that we would do the same."

"You've been sleeping up here alone since it happened," tutted Remus sadly, frowning at Giselle, "you're not allowed to wallow up here on your own anymore."

"Yeah, we can all have a little cry together instead," suggested Peter, delicately climbing onto Felicity's old bed, "this still feels a little weird."

"It's fine Pete," assured Lily, wanting to make the boys feel as comfortable as possible, "I'm sure Felicity would be thrilled to know that you're sleeping in her old bed."

"Oh, well in that case," he snickered and flicked his slippers off, getting comfortable amongst the feathered pillows.

"We thought you wouldn't mind now you and Sirius have finally worked your shit out," huffed James, exasperated but ultimately over the moon that Giselle and Sirius were working things out, and he collapsed on Lily's bed to stretch out properly, "although please, for the sake and sanity of everyone here, keep your hands to yourselves."

Giselle choked on her own tongue at James' crass implication and hurried to explain herself before the group could jump to conclusions. "We're not- They're still- We can't-?!"

"Mate knock it off, we're not doing anything until I talk to Marlene," Sirius jumped to save Giselle from drowning in her own splutters, shooting James a look that shouted 'shut the fuck up!' but Lily rushed to continue as though she was dying to add her input.

"You've gotta do it soon Sirius, you can't keep dragging this out-,"

"I know but you saw the state she was in tonight! She's finally speaking in coherent sentences, I wasn't going to let our first proper conversation be me breaking up with her!" defended Sirius, trying to be sensitive, "her and Mary were really close… I'm really trying not to be a dick here but you've got to understand that I don't know what the fuck I'm doing!"

"And you're doing a terrific job," said Lily, using her Head Girl's voice to calm Sirius' panicked expression, "I'm not trying to attack you, you're being really mature about this so I know you're doing the right thing. Personally I think you need to tell her as soon as possible, the sooner you do it, the sooner we can all grow and move on from this. Granted she might hate you for a little bit but deep down we know she's got the biggest heart and she'll understand - she'll be ok."

Lily caught Giselle's eye and she knew Lily was speaking to her too, she was terrified of Marlene's reaction to her and Sirius getting together and she knew Marlene would loathe her for stealing him away. She didn't want Marlene to think she was some sort of man-stealing, back-stabbing whore but it was inevitable, this was going to look bad.

Giselle shifted on the windowsill and glanced at Sirius who was pouting at his friends, guessing his thought process by the expressions on his face.

"I hope you're right, I just don't want her to antagonise Elle because of my decision," he sighed, exhausted by his own drama, but Giselle grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight to show him that he didn't need to worry. She couldn't let him see her sweat but she felt suddenly more confident that they were doing the right thing when she realised they were finally on the same wavelength.

"We've got this," she promised, "whatever happens, we'll get through this together."

He squeezed her hand back and smiled, trusting her word with all of his being. "We've got this," he repeated, sounding far more confident.

"Great!" James clapped his hands and the candles in the room extinguished immediately, signalling that he wanted to go to bed, "now let's all get some sleep, Lily and I have to speak tomorrow and I can't miss my beauty sleep, Mary wouldn't forgive me if I turned up to her memorial looking like a sack of shit."

"Uh, we haven't figured out the sleeping arrangements yet!" reminded Giselle, fighting with her body to stop any signs of panic. She couldn't sleep in the same bed as him, the temptation to touch him would be way too strong! The dark temptress that was her sneaky subconscious would lure her in and force her to wiggle up against him and she couldn't give it a chance to ruin everything.

"Don't worry, we've already worked it out, Prongs never said anything about keeping my hands off this one!" assured Sirius, climbing up off the sill and ambling over to Marlene's bed. He pulled back the duvet and grinned at Remus, wiggling his eyebrows. "Come here handsome!"

"I thought you'd never ask!" Remus faked a blush and skipped over, snuggling into Marlene's bed with him, "Merlin this takes me back…"

"Oh no I'm getting flashbacks!" cried Peter, closing one half of his curtains to hide the boys from view, but Giselle pulled hers back and climbed into bed, making sure she kept the pair of them in sight. They looked awfully cute spooning each other, giggling like mischievous little imps as they fought for pillow space, but as the room finally quietened down she stole one last peek at them and realised that Remus was the big spoon. Huh… I wonder if that means…? Her giggles spluttered out before she could stop them and they echoed around the dorm.

"What?" groaned James and the dark lump on Lily's bed shuffled so he could sit up and glare at her, "Elle, shush!"

"Sorry," she giggled again, but she sat up too, "I just never would have guessed…"

"Huh?" James was intrigued now.

"It's just," she caught the spooning pair's eyes and giggled again, "I always thought Sirius was a top, not a bottom."

Remus and Lily burst out laughing, taken aback by Giselle's vulgarity as they caught onto her train of thought straight away while James and Peter laughed along obliviously, not quite understanding, but Giselle's heart fluttered as Sirius slowly sat up and glared humorously at her through the darkness. The twinkle in his silver eye made something deep within her throb and Giselle bit her lip, burning up under her duvet.

"I'll have you know that I'm versatile, Princess," he corrected her, daring to deepen his voice, but Remus guffawed and corrected him with a smile on his face.

"He's a power top," he mouthed.

Oooh?!

"Interesting… very interesting…" she purred, arching a brow suggestively.

"We really need to get some sleep," announced Lily through her yawn, poking her head through James' arms, "Elle, stop thinking about Sirius' sex life and be quiet!"

"What's a bottom?" wondered Peter out loud.

"Wait, does that mean I'm a top?" asked James suddenly wide awake, disregarding Lily's attempts to shut them down, and Lily groaned, her milky face pinker than a blooming azalea.

"This is all your fault, Elle! Why do you always have to talk about sex!" she scolded, and just for a second Giselle felt the urge to cry. It was like Mary was back to scold her for her dirty mouth one last time.

"Sorry Lils, I'll shut my dirty mouth and go to bed," she sniffled, catching her friend's green eye, and Lily gasped, realising what had set her off. Through the darkness she saw Lily's eyes cloud up as she smiled sadly, settling into James' arms again to hide her tears.

The cool pillow soothed Giselle's searing cheeks but she used the drop in temperature to distract her from the boy across the room from her. She wanted him to crawl into her bed, a huge part of her needed his arms wrapped around her so she could get a proper good night's sleep, but having him in the same room was enough. The cold bed opposite her felt warmer tonight.

While she was teetering on the brink of sleep, Giselle felt a gentle weight on the end of her bed but she knew it wasn't a threat, she didn't need to open her heavy eyes. Silky, warm fur brushed the skin of her hand and the weight shifted up towards her pillow, needing to be closer than ever before. Without thinking Giselle lifted her divet up and let the shaggy black dog curl up next to her, she nuzzled into his fur and breathed in his aromatic hair conditioner properly for the first time in years. He smelt of fresh grapefruit and rich woods, of spices she could never quite place, and she felt the softest growl rumble through his chest as she gently placed a kiss on the crown of Padfoot's head.

"Thank you my star," she breathed, wrapping her arms around him and finally drifting off peacefully for the first time in years.

This is just a lil one, hope you enjoy! :) big shoutout to Christmas, ive got so much turkey and expensive cheese left over im feasting like a king for weeks, you the real mvp. Another shoutout to everyone reading this, sending happiness and joy your way and a massive thank you to everyone interacting i really appreciate your love xoxo