Somehow a dinosaur had jumped up and cleared the arcade machine thing in the center of the room, ripping through my father in law's guts with its toe claws in one quick bloody movement.

I staggered backwards, knocking over an umbrella stand, and the beast smashed me to the floor.

The creature had bumped the controls. As I lay there, breathing in its rotten breath, I heard and felt the entire room shaking and grinding like an engine caught between gears, but there was nothing I could do about it.

My attacker scarcely noticed. It only sniffed, made a thrust at me with its pelvis and licked me.

Now I knew why I had never been disemboweled. The things had smelled a female, my abuse resulting from them discovering I wasn't. Even after my swim, the Vasolene-like tuna fish smelling stuff still clung to me. A sort of pheromone, I guess. It may have even factored into my relationship with Eve. She could have been a lesbian for all I knew. Maybe our lovemaking just created a race of people that didn't exist before.

After discovering I possessed entirely the wrong genital configuration, the beast decided I might be good to eat, but I expected that. I grabbed an umbrella with a red question mark shaped handle, shoving it as far back in its mouth as it could reach without its teeth taking off my hand.

A button press deployed the spring, and the monster choked, eyes bulging as it frantically struggled for air. I knew such a state wouldn't last long, so I grabbed a second umbrella and stabbed it in the eye.

A female hand shoved a pair of scissors through its skull.

Eev kicked the creature aside, stabbing it again and again and again, then slumped against the machine and wept.

I tried to hold her, but she punched me in the face, yelling gibberish at me. I killed her father and all of that, I figured.

She wanted to go back out and help her tribe.

"What, are you nuts? We almost got killed!"

She grabbed me by the throat, pointing to the door.

"Wait," I gasped. "Let's at least get some weapon—"

Eve already had her hands on the door opening lever, opening the gate.

I came to the sudden realization that we had moved. We now looked out over a vast desert that appeared to go on for miles and miles.

My woman let out a horrified shriek, curling up in a fetal position in the furthermost corner of the room. I quickly shut the door, and we stared at each other with eyes full of questions, neither one saying a word. Not like we could communicate anyway.

I closed the door, stepped closer to give her a reassuring hug, but she backed away like I were a dead thing.

I touched my scar, but she covered hers up and shook her head. I tripped and fell over a dinosaur carcass.

When I got up, she retreated to her corner and wept. Eve hadn't removed her feathered cape, so I figured our divorce wasn't official.

My own cape had fallen off in the scuffle, but I had no good reason to put it back on, so I just left it there. I'd put on clothing when I got cleaned up.

Now in a relatively safe location, I decided clean house. It wasn't to be tidy, but I mean, if I could ever figure out the machinery, maybe stop the dinosaurs or go home, I'd have to step over a bloody disgusting mess. I'd rather not have to smell it rot.

I threw a bloody severed dinosaur head into the sand.

I could barely lift the other carcasses, and I slipped on blood when I tried to push them to the door, so I gave up and looked for the pool, possibly a forklift.

I discovered a room resembling a costume shop, but I didn't want to dirty things up by putting anything on. Even the togas seemed too nice.

The room next door contained a bed, which made me forget the bath, because the sheets and blankets would make a good shroud for Mr. Oog.

I grabbed those, and one of those scarves that I found everywhere, wrapping the latter around my face. Oog hadn't been dead that long, but I still thought it a good idea.

I threw the blankets over Mr. Oog, and tried to roll him up like a burrito, but he was too damn heavy, and when I tried to tuck his intestines back in, I threw up.

Removing the scarf, I sighed and looked at my wife with a pleading glance, touching my scar.

She hugged herself and pointed to the corpse of her father.

I nodded, then hugged myself, showing her he's my father too.

She cried some more at this, blubbering something, then she was sitting on my lap, crying on my shoulder. I put the scarf back on, motioning for her to help me wrap the body up.

Then what? she motioned.

With a shrug, I opened the door, pointing to the sand.

Family, she mimed.

I sighed and shrugged again.

With a nod, she helped me wrap him up, respectfully tucking in the man's entrails without so much as a nauseous belch.

Once we had our human cocoon, we left him alone, since I had no clue where to put him. I grabbed a lizard corpse by the hindquarters, requesting aid again, but Eve shook her head, making chopping gestures and rubbing her belly.

I rolled my eyes, but accepted this, as I hadn't found a kitchen in the place yet. I put an arm around her shoulder, waving for us to go down the hallway.

She jerked away suddenly, slipping out of my clutches. Guess that meant no.

Shrugging,I went by myself.

We'd have to find a burying spot for Oog eventually, whether inside this strange blue box, or outside somewhere. Obviously not the desert, maybe cold storage like the astronauts propose to do on missions. At present, Oog didn't smell that bad, so I decided to use the first shower I came across and worry about it later.

After wandering the place so much, once half blind, I grew accustomed to the convoluted hallways, and soon found my way back to the library with the pool.

Something thrashed around in the water.

Not sure how it got there, or how long it'd been there, but I felt certain the `why' had something to do with the slime that bomb had coated me. The dinosaur couldn't swim in twelve feet of water, but tried damn hard, and the pool really didn't have the length to hold it for long.

Seeing it floundering gave me an idea.

First thought: Dropping books on its head until it lost the battle with the water. I decided it to be a dumb caveman idea. Idea number 2: Run up a curving stairwell to a position behind one of the bookshelves.

Pushing over a bookshelf is harder than it looks, especially if said shelf has obviously withstood a few voyages through...whatever the hell it was we went through. It refused to budge.

In desperation, I picked up the heaviest volumes I could find, encyclopedias, the history of something called Gallifrey (whatever it was), and several volumes of Mogok legal history, and the Shadow Proclamation, hurling at the creature with all my might.

My plan backfired. As the thing struggled, the hardbacks didn't sink like a stone (except the one on Gallifrey), but rather provided the thing with a flotation device for it to scrabble upon, and the next thing I knew, it hopped up on a rail, casting me a murderous glare.

In two short jumps, the beast came stomping up the carpet, and its hot foul smelling breath poured over my naked skin.

I grabbed the railing, attempted to flee by jumping in the pool, but a second green shape appeared in the doorway, blocking my escape.

In a panic, I dove around a bookshelf, bolting towards the opposite end of the library, away from the dinosaur.

I passed a set of encyclopedias. A green head emerged from the corner.

When I backed away, something shallowly rasped behind me, the smells of hot stinky breath wafting into my nostrils.