I cursed and clutched my smarting hand, staring at the limp form of my wife in horror. "That was my wife! You could have at least used a stun gun or something!"

Strax shrugged. "I thought that's what I did."

I sighed in relief. "Let's grab her and get out of here."

For a short squatty guy, he ran like an NFL linebacker, and in no time, he had dumped the Daleks in Boston Harbor, and marched down the wharf with Eve slung over his shoulder. He'd even stuck her wimple back on. The whole scene looked like a Catholic version of a 1950's B movie. They Came For Nuns, or something.

"Where did you see this `new wing'?" I asked Jenny.

"Right this way." She lifted the hem of her dress, leading us down the dock and further down the wharf.

Our path wound back from the harbor, to a point where it got hilly and forested.

We slipped through trees, dodging men in red coats and silly tricorn hats, occasionally ducking as our big friend knocked one or two of them out with stun beam.

We arrived at a tan two story barracks, a strange looking gray one story room with a sloping roof sticking out of one side.

My weird friends knocked out a pair of guards. I approached the door, frowning at the lock. "Does anyone have a toilet plunger?"

"Need to use the loo?" Potato Head asked.

I actually did, but..."The lock is made for a Dalek plunger or a fast hand with a secret code, and the Dalek Queen is asleep."

"We're a few centuries early for indoor plumbing." Ms. Vashta pulled one of those socket wrench things out of her blouse. With a button press, the wrench glowed with a brilliant green light.

"Is that a sonic screwdriver?"

"Indeed." She grinned, pointing the device at the lock.

The exterior of the entire structure rippled, transforming into a giant Las Vegas slot machine.

Vastra frowned at the screwdriver, fiddling with its settings. "Sorry. It's been awhile since I've used one of these."

Strax pushed in front of her, changing a setting on his gun. "Allow me."

"Hold your horses, dear! I'll have this in a second!"

A bullet tore through Strax's outfit with a soft pinging sound.

With a bored expression, the big guy changed settings, pointed his laser and fired. Seconds later, a horse nearly stomped me into the dirt.

Ms. Vastra tried the device again, and the slot machine turned into a Quicktrip gas pump.

I laughed. "Awesome. Can you make it into a taco stand? I'm hungry."

Crack. I heard a scream.

I turned and saw the catgirl busily ripping pieces off her dress to make a bandage for a bleeding leg wound. "Hurry it up! They use actual lead in these bullets!"

Strax fired at her attacker, but had to duck as a bullet shot past his bald head. "Ah! This is turning out to be a glorious battle!"

Riversong quietly snatched the screwdriver out of lizard lady's hands, pointing it at the door. The lock exploded, the red panel on the front of the pump sliding open to reveal a console room.

Another cracking sound. This time lizard face got hit, apparently in some sensitive area beneath her veil. She cried out in pain, clutching the back of her head. "My horn!" Her hand came back bloody.

"Quick! Get inside!" Strax ordered, shooting all over the place like the Terminator.

We quickly squeezed through the opening in the gas pump, Strax wedging his broad shoulders sideways to fit inside.

Once we set foot in the larger interior room, a Dalek came charging for us. Strax flipped a setting on his gun and fired, blowing it to pieces.

I know I probably shouldn't have been surprised, but I was when I recognized the main room. We were back in the dead guy's phone booth, the blue box.

Strax laid Eve on the floor, but I showed him the bed, and he helped me to put her there instead.

Once finished with that, Madame Vashta clapped her hands and said, "Right! First order of business, the prematurely dead president. Despite how much a boon this is for the crown, it ruins the whole network of causality, ergo—" She pointed a claw to my chest. "In your own words, describe the president's demise. Who what when and where."

I told her what I witnessed in the president's office. Since I didn't know the hour or day, Madame V pulled out a newspaper, reading through it until we had it narrowed to 8 A.M. on a Tuesday.

Riversong volunteered to take the controls, the big guy lifting her high enough to manipulate the levers and buttons.

Strax looked very relaxed as he held her perfectly straight for at least ten minutes.

"So...who was that smug looking redcoat on the boat?"

I got a blank stare.

"The guy that captured Riversong and tried to kill me?"

"Aaron Coffin, brother of Captain Coffin of the S.S. Eleanor."

I wasn't sure how she acquired that information, but I figured she had alien gadgets and contacts on the dock.

The whole room rocked, our vehicle bumped on something solid, and we stood looking out the door at General Washington at his desk. Beyond that stood a royal blue armoire.

Immediately, the president turned to face us, with an expression of "How peculiar!"

A second later, the armoire came open, my wife casually stomping out in her silver bikini.

I furrowed my brow, wondering if she had lied to me about not killing the president.

Strax pushed past me, rushing into the log cabin. "Mr. President! Your life is in danger! Quick! Get behind me!" And he fired his laser at Eve, dropping her to the floor.

The president didn't move, so Strax grabbed him, shoving him back towards me.

One of the Daleks, either 47 or 48, I forget which, came zooming out of the other TARDIS with remarkable speed.

Strax flicked a setting on his gun, fired, and the machine exploded, bits of metal and mutant gray matter flying everywhere.

As I took in the scene, I suddenly remembered everything happening exactly that way, even though it technically hadn't been before.

The president never died due to a Dalek attack. I never got arrested for murder, and therefore never met Benjamin Franklin, or went to Boston Harbor. I also never stabbed that guy with a harpoon, a great relief.

A lot of my memories shifted, everything else, including my sprained finger not happening explaining how I currently happened to be in a second TARDIS.

The big guy gave George a sharp salute. "Sir, it is an honor to be in the presence of such a celebrated military strategist. My only regret is that we have not met in the thick of some worthier battle."

The future president frowned. "Who are you! How did you get in here! What is the meaning of this intrusion!"

Strax cleared his throat. "As Mr. Franklin may or may not have informed you, our country is overrun by evil machines called Daleks. These machines, these `mobile ironclads' as you call them, have a nasty habit of vaporizing every human being in sight, including yourself, had we not arrived at an opportune moment."

"Ah," George said with a look of puzzlement. "These...machines. Have they been sent by the British?"

"You...may choose to believe that if you wish."

"Spoken like a true politician," I said.

Strax bowed. "Thank you."

The thought occurred to me that if the redcoats and the Americans joined forces to fight the Daleks instead of fighting each other, I'd probably have some guy in a wig arbitrarily raising my taxes all the time. Of course, come to think about it, I still don't get much say in the matter, even if my current system supposedly has representation.

"It's started! Quick!" Ms. V barked. "Out of the TARDIS!"

I glanced back and saw Riversong, Jenny and the green lady leaping out of a fading outline of what used to be the gas pump TARDIS.

I blinked and it vanished.

I looked ahead and saw a mirror image of myself approaching the opening of the armoire.

A strange compulsion overcame me. It seemed somehow more `right' to move my legs into a different position, like my arms should bend slightly as my hands rested against the TARDIS walls. I felt a compulsion to lean forward.

As I did this, my whole vantage point shifted, and I was looking out from inside the armoire at a vaguely familiar room containing my unconscious wife, three vaguely familiar strangers, and a very alive President Washington. I got an eerie sense of deja vu about the whole thing, but couldn't pinpoint anything because all that stuff I just went through, whatever it was, had never happened.

Well, except maybe whatever method of temporal distortion the three strangers had used to position themselves in time to save the president's life.

We had two TARDISes now: The blue box on the other side of the room, and the machine from the Dalek planet I stood inside.

With the dust, the bad food, and the cramped living quarters, you can understand why I'd want to abandon the latter. I hurriedly marched into the other one.

Without so much as an excuse me, the group of now strangers barged their way past me, marching into the console room of the TARDIS I stood inside. My wife got dumped unceremoniously on the floor.

The big guy picked up Riversong, who just happened to be inside rather than out in the president's office where I could have sworn she had been just minutes before.

After a momentary headache, I recalled the events of the previous hours:

I had sex with Eve. I went to bed with her, Riversong getting scared and snuggling with us like before. I woke to find the bed empty...I looked out the TARDIS doors to see the strangers saving the president and knocking my wife unconscious.

One strange women threw back her veil, revealing a scaly green face. I felt ready to scream, but some feeling of vague familiarity prevented it. I asked her who she was, but afterwards asked if her horn were all right.

She looked confused. "Which horn?"

I stared in bewilderment. The injury she'd received apparently never happened. "Never mind. Who are you?"

But she only said, "You should know."

Since the location had been recorded in the computer, she asked Riversong to set a course for my apartment.

"I still don't know why that doctor guy chose my apartment, of all places, to crash his time machine."

"That is indeed a mystery. The answer could be in the TARDIS's databanks, something we currently don't have access to."

I shook my head. "Wait. Why are we going back there? Are we going to prevent this doctor guy from dying or something?"

"No," the green lady answered. "He sacrificed his life to save the universe. If we went back in time to prevent his death, all life as we know it would be extinguished."

I frowned. "Uh...do you know what killed him?"

"It's complicated."

"How complicated?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

She sighed. "You'd need a textbook."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Whatever. Why are we going back to my apartment?"

"Don't you want to go home?"

I paused and thought about it for a minute. This adventure was the most interesting thing that had ever happened to me, but I had family. Well, relatives, at least. "Well, I suppose..."

"Then you have your wish," said a vaguely familiar brunette in a tight dress. "To be blunt, you've caused enough trouble. We're sending you home so we can complete the rest of the mission ourselves."

"So you're going to get the other TARDIS back and stop the Daleks?"

"Exactly."

I sighed in relief, then frowned at my wife, now slowly regaining consciousness. "Wait. What about her? Can you, I dunno, go back and prevent her from getting a Dalek stuck in her brain?"

"I'm sorry. From what I've heard, the abilities she's gained as a human Dalek are the only reason why Riversong is standing here right now."

"Can we at least stop those dinosaurs from riding the TARDIS to her village and killing everyone?"

"Dinosaurs riding what!" the brunette exclaimed.

The green one waved a hand dismissively. "Unfortunately, that is also fixed point. Any event that occurred up to the moment where you rescued Riversong needs to remain in place, or the resulting reprogramming will end in her death, the premature death of the Doctor, and the destruction of the entire universe."

"Gee," I groaned. "That's dire. So what if I never set foot in the TARDIS to begin with? What then? I mean, I screwed up time, right? Wouldn't it be better if I had never showed up?"

She shook her head. "The Doctor would still be dead. You were the first one to find his TARDIS. You seemed destined to find it. But, other than saving Riversong, you have proven to be a catastrophic failure. We cannot risk you having access to something so dangerous as a TARDIS ever again. Therefore, we are sending you home."

"What am I going to do with Eve, then?"

Dinosaur seemed indifferent. "She can stay with you if you like. I can tell that you are very much in love, being recently married..."

"So, what. She's going to just live with me in my apartment?"

She shrugged.

"Look at her. She's a freak. How's she going to blend in?"

"Don't look at me. She's your wife."

Eve sat up and stared at me, looking hurt. I gave her an apologetic shrug, but continued to argue with the lizard. "Can't you take us somewhere else where we can blend in?"

"Beedimay is nice this time of year," said the big guy. "No one would blink at seeing a human Dalek there."

"Yes," dinosaur woman agreed. "That is a definite possibility. But I thought he wanted to see his family again." She looked me in the eyes. "You do have a family, don't you?"

"Yeah?" I swallowed. "So...wherever you take me, I'm stuck there forever?"

"Pretty much," said the big guy. "Earth, or live on planet Beedimay, it's up to you."

I furrowed my brow.

"Honey," my wife groaned. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Who are these strangers? What was I doing on the floor? Where is Dalek 48? What happened to Dalek 47?"

When I explained those things, she asked more questions, and since many questions referred to things that never happened, I had to re-explain things that I had already explained here and elsewhere. Eventually we returned to the topic at hand.

"It's not going to work," I said. "I can't live a normal life with a...`human Dalek,' as you say. Is there any way you can drop Eve off at that other planet and take me back home by myself?"

"No!" My woman wrapped her arms around me in a crushing grip. "You're the only family I have left! I would rather die than leave your side! Please don't take me away! I cannot bear to be alone!" And she broke down in tears.

The green lady laughed. "It seems you're stuck with her!"

I sighed in resignation, giving her a reluctant nod. I put an arm around Eve's shoulder. "Looks like my rent is going to go up. I don't even want to think about what Thanksgiving and Christmas are going to be like."

Then I frowned. "Wait, what about Riversong?"

"She'll stay with us where it's safe. She still has a destiny to fulfill."

The girl squeezed out of the big guy's arms and ran to me, clutching my legs. "No! I want to stay with him! He saved me from the Daleks!"

"He saved you from the Daleks?" Jenny scoffed.

"He's braver than you think."

"Riversong, it's too dangerous."

"They can protect me. I believe in him."

I stared in shock. Not only did she love me like a father...she, what, saw me as a hero?

Again, I felt that chill.

I shrugged. "She did tell me to carry the Doctor's torch!" I shrugged.

"I wouldn't let you carry my groceries." The reptile's eyes bore down on the child. "Come, Riversong. How will we save the universe if you keep company with such a bumbling oaf?"

I frowned. "That was insulting, but she's right. I am not some super hot time traveler. Your friends here just cleaned up my mess."

"No!" the girl screamed. "I want to stay with Rob! I want him as my daddy! Please!"

My mouth hung open, my eyes misty with emotion. "You...really mean it?"

The big guy drew his gun, aiming at her. "I'm sorry, Riversong, but this is for your own good!"

She fell to the floor, unconscious.

I scowled at the reptile. "I don't get it. Why can't you just travel back in time before we arrived on the Dalek planet and rescue Riversong yourself?"

"We would still need to locate the other TARDIS. Only your friend, wife, knew where it was."

"Yeah, but you traveled back in time to stop the president from being killed, and I would have had to..." I couldn't remember many of the details anymore. "Um...do stuff in order to meet you and stop his death. And we got away with that, didn't we? Why not send the big guy in there, have him blow up a bunch of Daleks, and use the coordinates that Eve still knows to locate the time machine first?"

"But then we wouldn't have a time machine."

I smacked my face. "Dammit."

"I am okay, my love," Eve said. "Do not worry about repairing me. As long as you love me, nothing else matters."

Satisfied that Riversong had everything set to go, Strax marched out to the other TARDIS, to make sure Benjamin Franklin or someone else didn't fiddle with it in our absence.

The TARDIS shifted and bumped down once more, and the door opened to a familiar view of my apartment building.

I gave the strangers an awkward farewell glance, stepping outside with my scantily clad wife close at my heels.

As the doors closed and the TARDIS vanished into thin air, I briefly worried about what people would say when they saw my wife walking around in nothing but silver underwear, but I figured women generally get a free pass when it came to stuff like that, plus her tentacles and third eye would scream cosplay, or movie costume, so I decided not to worry about it.

Still, I had missed the comforts of my apartment.

I hurried to the outer door, only to remember I had lost the keys during...that first meeting with my future wife. That, and my car keys.

I instructed my wife to hide behind a bush while I marched up to the building office in my spacesuit, asking the African guy at the desk for a replacement key.

What fun that was. I made up a story about acting in a movie, and thankfully he believed me.

Once I had said key, I practically ran to my apartment, rushing Eve into my basement studio.

Fortunately for me, throughout the two years I had stayed in the place, I rarely saw hide or hair of any other apartment dwellers, except for the occasional random Mexican kid waking his dog. If I died there, it would be likely nobody would notice for several weeks.

That particular day, it was a Jack Russell terrier, and yes, the kid saw us. He laughed and pointed, but it had been worse for me in the building office, when I had to wait around in my costume for about eight minutes. Nobody saw us in the apartment proper, so police didn't get involved.

The first thing I did was put clothes on Eve, explaining that we might get undue attention, possibly from police. After some awkward trying on of clothing, she settled on a polo, despite it being too tight, and a pair of jogging pants. Then for the first time, I got to put on my own comfortable Earth clothing, cotton briefs, jeans and t-shirt.

New problem: I had no phone with which to call the dealership for a replacement key. I'd taken it in the blue TARDIS, and was probably in a dinosaur infested jungle with my keys and pants.

I'm not sure she liked my apartment. I don't think any woman would, but, when I noticed her frowning, I said, "Hey, you had a choice. You wanted to stick with me."

I told Eve to relax on my dumpy box spring mattress while I borrowed the leasing office phone.

I called mom and asked for a ride.

Since she didn't live close, I had about thirty minutes to kill. I spent the time showing Eve how to use the TV, the computer, the sink and the microwave. I amused her with the Sega and my Mahjong collection on the PC. I think looking out the venetian blinds and watching cars amused her more.

By that time, my parents arrived. Eve wanted to meet them, but I told her it was boring at the dealership and it took too much time and I added some lies about how she'd cause a breach in the fabric of space-time, and when that didn't work, I said my parents were very prejudiced.

Actually it was I who was prejudiced. I wanted to lock her in a closet, if it had a lock, but didn't want to say it.

Eve only agreed to stay put when I promised to have a talk with my folks about their bigotry.

When I heard mom honking, I hurried outside, hopping over the wall to her beat up red Sebring. They never put a staircase in front of my apartment.

Mom let me in, handing me a Fedex box. "This arrived for you last night. Did you order something from a museum?"

"Yeah." What else could I say? Considering all the ways I ruined time, it could be anything. I'm still not sure how anyone found my parents' address.

The question: Who sent it, and why bother.

The label itself yielded no answer to the question. Instead of showing the sender's name, it just said The Museum of Natural History.

I cracked open the lid, expecting smallpox, maybe an autographed original of Snoopy as the Red Baron, but instead I found a sheet of paper and a bag full of translucent yellow rocks.

Upon closer examination, I found these rocks to be pieces of amber, my driver's license encased within one of them. I smirked at the thought of how a police officer would react to it.

Other blocks of amber held my keys, forty dollars and $3.75 in change.

"Since when are you getting packages from the museum?"

"It's just a special promotional gag," I lied. "They put your stuff in phony fossils."

Mom frowned at the objects. "Like your driver's license?"

"It's a replica."

She laughed.

I thought for sure I had lost everything at the dawn of time, but I guess my things landed at the base of some prehistoric maple tree or something and got stuck in sap. I wasn't sure how ink and plastic and metal could last a million years or so, but I wasn't about to complain...or try to remove my driver's license and destroy the markings with oxidation. About the pants, I really don't know.

Other blocks held my Price Chopper card, library card, and a host of other things I didn't care that much about. I also found my phone, but it was totally useless, being trapped inside a rock since the era in which the wheel was invented. The Price Chopper card rock would be my test subject.

I examined the paper, a single sheet of higher end type of poundage, a crisp sort of material that's one step away from being card stock. The paper had the museum letterhead on it, below which someone had written in elegantly flowing cursive:

`Due to your recent heroic rescue of a certain individual of mutual interest to both parties, I will reserve judgment on certain lewd and irresponsible activities you have undertaken roughly eighty million years in the past. To be honest, I once loved a man who was at least three hundred years my senior.

`Therefore, I respectfully return these personal affects, which appear to be of considerable importance to your resuming of a relatively normal life. I trust you will be resourceful enough to free said items from their preservatives, which resulted from their close proximity to a now petrified tree. I would have done this for you myself, but, due to other pressing circumstances, I only had time to send this by post.

`I have heard you are...somewhat mentally challenged, so I am enclosing a helpful tool...'

The box did contain a sort of sonic screwdriver with a box-like attachment at one end. I'd have to experiment with it later, when sure that it wouldn't cause mom's car to explode.

`...Sadly, your pants and underwear did not survive the centuries unscathed, having been made into nesting material by a pack of velociraptors. The only reason why we knew about these items at all were the rivets, and the outlines of cotton and denim fibers preserved in the meteoric ash. Good luck trying to wear that!

`Interesting that such a predatory animal should exist in an era aeons after their alleged extinction. I suppose it couldn't be helped, but I never quite thought I'd be purchasing dinosaur joint sandwiches at the local petrol station. If only the Doctor were alive.

`All this being said, I wish the best for you and your new wife, and pray you never even think about touching a TARDIS again.

`Sincerely, SJS.

`P.S. If you're ever in London, look me up. I believe we'll have much to discuss.'

I turned the paper over, but it provided no information on how to look this person up, nor did it explain why a Londoner was telling me to visit her with a letterhead from a U.S. museum.

"Is that really a replica?" my mom asked.

I held up a block. "You think I'd do that with my real license? I just got it back from the prop factory."

She frowned. "Are you sure that's legal?"

"Yeah. I'm not dumb enough to pass it to a cop when I get pulled over. I'll be a fine."

Well, if I had to show it to a cop before a trip to the license bureau, they could still read it, and I could pry it out of there if I really wanted to.

The thought crossed my mind that I should have claimed it was an accident at said prop factory, but I couldn't figure out how to explain why I wasn't in another state doing this.

I frowned. "I...lost my real keys. I...have to drive somewhere to get some tools. I've inconvenienced you enough already. We might as well go to the dealership." I paused. "Mom, do you know anything about dinosaurs and fossils?"

"I dunno, some. Why?"

"Do...you..." I didn't want to say more than I had to. "Have you...heard anything associated with me and...something prehistoric?"

She laughed and shook her head. "You're so silly."

"Are there really places where you can buy a dinosaur sandwich?"

She took my question seriously. "Why? You want one?"

I paled, ashamed at my ruination of time. "Um...I don't know. Who sells them?"

Mom chuckled, grinning like I played some kind of ridiculous game. "I haven't been to Scaly's in awhile. Maybe we can stop in there on the way back."

Afraid of leaving Eve alone too much already, I politely declined, suggesting she go without me.

The whole concept seemed vaguely familiar to me, but I couldn't remember eating dinosaur fast food. At least not clearly. Of course, I couldn't remember eating in KFC recently, either.

I already knew what dinosaur meat tasted like, but wondered how they would be prepared and seasoned, and if breeding those things in captivity would make them tender and juicy. I also wondered if the place looked like Chick Fil A with dinosaurs, or if it looked like McDonald's. Would there be posters showing a chicken holding up a sign that read `EAT MOR DINOSAR'?

I resolved to take Eve there once I got my keys.

When I pictured a history of cowboys herding swarms of these predatory reptiles, I asked, "Mom, do cows still exist?"

She laughed, still not taking me seriously. "You're just full of ridiculous questions today, aren't you?"

I shrugged sheepishly.

"There's a Burger King up the street if you want hamburger."

"No thanks." I sighed, somewhat relieved that I hadn't completely wiped out my favorite edible animal.

"You sure you don't want to go to Scaly's? They've got a flank burger for two dollars."

I swallowed. "I've...got some stuff to do."

"Okay. I offered."

We drove to the dealership.

Lucky for us, the dealer happened to have a plastic master key at their office, and they had a new transponder key made for me.

I returned to the apartment, bidding mom farewell for the day.

When I stepped through the entrance of the apartment, my only thought had been about how much money I'd make trying to pawn off my fossilized money. I certainly hoped I'd at least get my money back. I was going to take the fossilized forty dollars and ask a pawn shop to pay me forty dollars for it.

As soon as I got to my studio, though, I wanted to call the cops.

Someone had left the door hanging wide open. My computer, my TV, and my DVD player, all gone. No sign of Eve anywhere. I feared kidnapping, possibly rape or murder. The door showed no sign of being forced, but I still thought maybe a creepy guy had charmed his way into the apartment to kidnap and torture my girl. Well, after he stole everything. Unless the robber came in after she left the door hanging open.

When Eve's arm came wrapping around my shoulder like nothing were wrong, I suspected I would be happier if she had been murdered.

"What happened!" I asked.

I scowled when I noticed what she was wearing.

Somehow Eve had acquired a little pink party dress, stockings and pink platform wedges with the glassy sheen of a polished automobile. To be honest, she looked hot, but that only made me angrier.

"I don't know. I just went for a walk."

I wanted to ask about the clothes, but first things first. "Did you lock the door?"

"How?"

Fair question. She didn't have the key. Of course, if she hadn't known anything about keys and deadbolts, she wouldn't have left my apartment in the first place.

"Did you even close the door?"

She gave me a dumb look. "Was I supposed to?"

"Yes!" I practically screamed, stabbing a finger at the barren computer desk. "This is why!"

She sighed. "I am sorry. I will hunt down the thieves and kill them for you."

"No," I stammered. I believed with all my heart she could do exactly that. "Let...the cops...handle it." It was an oversimplification, but it worked. Well, when I explained what cops were. "Speaking of which, where did you get that outfit?"

She waved at her clothes. "This?"

"Yeah. Where'd you get the money?"

"Money?"

I smacked my face. "So you stole it. Wonderful. What store did you rip off?"

She marched to the door. "I'll show you."

As I grabbed my checkbook from a drawer, I heard a familiar grinding sound.

A second later, my loveseat splintered to pieces as a giant blue wooden box materialized right on top of it.

Not too concerned about the loveseat. Free from a friend of my parents. What happened afterwards concerned me more.

The door came open, and out popped a Dalek, pointing its laser cannon.

With alarming speed, it rolled out onto my carpet, steadily training its weapon in my direction. "EX—"

Eve interrupted it. "Dalek 54484! This is the Dalek Queen! Stand down!"

The lens on the machine's eyestalk narrowed. "WE NO LON-GER REC-OG-NIZE YOUR AUTH-OR-I-TY. YOU HAVE BE-TRAYED THE DALEK RACE! PRE-PARE TO DIE!"

Expecting my immanent demise, I glumly stared past the Dalek into the open doors of the police box.

What I saw there made the color to drain from my face.

Their passenger had been a little boy with tentacles coming out of his head. With the exception of the crazy space suit, he looked almost exactly like me when I was younger.

He marched up behind the robot and gawked at me. "Dad?"

I spread my arms wide, praying that the robot would shoot me.

[0000]

I just discovered a huge plot hole in this chapter. They needed to find the Blue Type 40 TARDIS belonging to the Doctor in order to stop the Daleks in the other TARDIS from killing the Doctor. The TARDIS never moved from the spot, so they can't possibly find the Dalek TARDIS anywhere else. Also, if they don't have Type 40, they wouldn't have the coordinates to send Robert home. So the following exchanges would never work:

I scowled at the reptile. "I don't get it. Why can't you just travel back in time before we arrived on the Dalek planet and rescue Riversong yourself?"

"We would still need to locate this TARDIS. Only your friend, wife, knew where it was."

"Yeah, but you traveled back in time to stop the president from being killed, and I would have had to..." I couldn't remember many of the details anymore. "Um...do stuff in order to meet you and stop his death. And we got away with that, didn't we? Why not send the big guy in there, have him blow up a bunch of Daleks, and use the coordinates that Eve still knows to locate the time machine first?"

"But then we wouldn't have a time machine."

I smacked my face. "Dammit."

"I am okay, my love," Eve said. "Do not worry about repairing me. As long as you love me, nothing else matters."

That made me swallow hard. "What if we find the blue TARDIS? Wouldn't that help?"

Ms. Vashta frowned. "Perhaps. We'll have to see." She sighed. "Until then, you'll have to make do."