A/N~ Well my one shot is now a multichapter fic. Reviews are always welcome.
And then life returned to normal. Spin ups resumed. An upcoming deployment lingered in the background. Trent did what he always had done before and probably always would. He compartmentalized. He put that little dying Afghani child away deep inside his mind. He moved forward.
Clay attempted to do the same and was mostly able to accomplish the task. Trent had watched Clay hug RJ just a little too tightly and throw an extra candy or two to an Iraqi girl and he knew that was his brother's way of honoring that boy but he never mentioned it. And Clay never mentioned Rena. Not in the days or months that followed. Not even when Sonny attempted to set him up with a stripper.
Trent sat in the briefing room awaiting the others arrival as Mandy and Davis moved around the space doing what they did best. He watched them thinking about how much like a dance this was. They moved and organized, they didn't even speak as they passed papers and files back and forth. He was a bit tired from drills and had wanted his shower and bed but watching now he knew he'd be lucky to get a shower on base before they flew out.
The nudge of his shoulder almost startled him as Ray looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Where's your head?"
"Thinking about taking a sick day." Trent looked around the room as the others filed in and took their seats.
"You sick, brother?" Ray's question had everyone's attention including Mandy, Davis, and Blackburn.
"Nope just wanted my bed tonight and that clearly isn't going to happen." Trent sat up as Mandy shook her head and Lisa smiled.
"Trent's right. We are headed to northern Kenya. And will brief more on the plane." The urgency in their commander's voice had Bravo on their feet and heading to the door but Trent stayed back.
"Northern Kenya as in we are landing there and Somalia is the target?" Trent's words stopped the exodus.
"We brief on the plane." Blackburn left no further room for discussion.
Trent bit his tongue and stepped from the room. Grabbing his phone he hid in the bathroom for a moment sending a text as a sickening feeling took over and he swallowed thickly to hold back the bile.
He was the first on the plane and impatiently waited for the others while bouncing his foot. It seemed to take forever to load the plane with the people and supplies necessary but eventually they were signaled for takeoff. Trent paced as soon as they reached cruising altitude. He checked his phone for the fifth time in the last five minutes.
"Alright Gentlemen, gather around." Blackburn called and Bravo moved toward their briefing. Trent stood still.
"Good?" Brock stopped beside him.
"Yeah. Fine." He took a step forward and then another.
"Okay boys, as Trent so obviously pointed out earlier we are landing in Kenya and you will be hiking into southern Somalia to retrieve two Americans who wandered over the border as the State Department claims." Blackburn flipped through some papers.
"They with the agency?" Clay asked.
"No actually Time Magazine." Mandy stated. "A freelance journalist and photographer, along with their driver and translator were abducted three days ago by the terror group Harakat al-Shabaab al-Mujahideen, more commonly known as al-Shabaab in the city of Kismaayo. Our objective is to retrieve the two Americans and if possible their local contractors."
"What do we know about al-Shabaab?" Ray asked.
"As of 2015 they were mostly pushed into more rural areas so this resurgence in Kismaayo is a bit surprising but not totally unexpected. They are multiethnic but their leaders appear to be native Somali trained in al-qaeda camps in Afghanistan." Davis explained.
"So typical jihadist assholes. They ask for a ransom?" Sonny moved the toothpick in his mouth from side to side.
"What are their names?" Trent's voice was quiet but strong as the others turned to him.
"Jack Carson is the journalist and the photographer is..." Blackburn moved papers around the table as Trent held his breath. "Here it is sorry, Serena Moss."
"What do we know about them?" Jason's words went unheard by Trent.
His world tipped and spun in circles. He thought of the vomit rising in his throat and swallowed hard. He was vaguely aware of Clay shifting closer. Numbness tingled in his hands as he took another intentionally slow breath.
It was in the Philippines a few days after Clay had nearly died on a Gucci mission that he saw her in a market while following a lead to nowhere. She had smiled at him and waved before seeing his team with him and turning away. He had wanted to scrap the surveillance and run to her arms but knew it wasn't an option. She was wearing cargo pants and a cream colored t-shirt and looked so much like a tourist that he wanted to laugh. Her hair was tied up in some sort of a braid that ended in a bun, he wondered if it was as complicated to do as it looked. She glanced back to him and he winked. In all the darkness of the week she was a light.
The next night he had tracked her down knowing they were heading to Guam early in the morning. They met at a park and he told her about the bombing that had been on the news anyway. Told her his friend was hurt and might never operate again. Told her how terrifying it had all been. She listened without speaking while he rambled in the darkness. He explained what a junctional was and how it worked. How it had probably saved his Brother's life and she had stopped him.
"No, Trent. That was you that saved his life." She took his hand in hers as it shook slightly. "The tools don't do anything without the men using them."
"Maybe." He looked up at the night sky.
"Do you think if you take credit for the good you do...you might have to take credit for the other stuff too?" She squeezed his hand.
"What do you mean?" Trent turned to meet her eyes.
"Trent I've been a combat and conflict zone photographer for over a decade. The world you live in... I don't know how you see what you see and do what you do." Her voice was soft and unaccusatory.
"You see it too." He pulled her closer despite the humid heat.
"It's different though. I'm looking through a lense. Seperated. Safer somehow. But you... how do you make sense of it?" She put her head on his shoulder.
"I don't try to make sense of it. I just try to come home and make sure my brothers do too." Trent kissed the top of her head.
"Good. Keep doing that okay?" She bit her bottom lip.
"Sure." He laughed at the lack of humor.
Trent stood motionless as the group disbanded from the finished briefing. He was aware of hammocks being hung and beers being cracked. Clay stood beside him silently until they were alone.
"You need to tell Jase." Clay looked straight ahead.
"So he can bench me?"
"Trent, who is she to you besides being it's complicated?" Clay pushed.
"What do you want me to say here Clay?" Trent's voice remained low but the harsh tone was a warning.
"I want you to tell me she isn't important, that you won't fuck up because she's just a booty call. Someone to bang when it's convenient. I want you to tell me that the special nickname is really because you couldn't remember her full name not because you wanted to fix something and she needed a fucking friend. I want to know that you aren't about to get yourself killed for her and if you can't or won't say it then Jase needs to know." Clay whisper yelled. "So tell me. She a booty call? Just a good fuck?"
"Fuck you." Trent growled.
"Tell me. Just some random?" Clay hated what he was doing but he knew the truth.
Trent turned to face him squaring up to him. "Drop it."
"So that's it? Just a fuck buddy... light on the buddy, more of just a fuck?" Clay smirked at him.
And that was what it took for Trent to lose his cool. With both hands he shoved Clay backwards hard. "That's all you got buddy? That's it really? So tell me again she just some girl you call for a handy or blowjob?" Clay felt like an asshole talking about Rena and insinuating she meant nothing to his brother when she clearly did mean something but he also felt like he had no choice.
"Shut your FUCKING mouth, Spenser!" Trent pulled back to take a swing.
"HEY, HEY, HEY!" Sonny grabbed Trent from behind in a rare role reversal as the rest of the team and Blackburn rushed toward the two.
"What the hell is going on?" Jason looked from Trent to Clay. "Sawyer? Spenser?" Clay locked his jaw as he stared defiantly at Trent. "Bravo 4. Wanna explain why you tried to knock 6 out?"
"He doesn't know when to shut his mouth." Trent looked away.
"Never has. But this is a first for you." Jason glared at them both. "Clay, what's going on?"
"Trent. Tell them or I will." Clay pleaded.
"Somebody better explain. Now." Blackburn took the lead finally settling on Clay. "What is going on Petty Officer?"
"I've met Serena Moss before, Sir." Clay looked to Trent with guilt in his eyes. "At Trent's apartment six months ago."
Blackburn and Bravo turned to Trent expectantly. "I didn't say anything because you will ground me. And you'll need a medic." Trent looked at the floor.
"You're damn right you're grounded. You know better Sawyer." Jason slammed his hand on a crate as he walked away.
"Jase wait!" Trent followed.
"What Trent?" Jason spun around. "You're personally involved and still want to come as if that won't affect your judgement?"
"If it were Alana..." Trent knew he crossed a line as soon as he spoke.
"Don't. Don't try to equate some fling with my dead wife." Jason was boiling with anger.
"It's not a fling. She's my refuge, my solace, the only reason I feel sane sometimes, she's my reason and my sobriety. Jase she's not a fling, she's my Rena." His voice broke. "You can't leave me in Kenya while she could be dying across a border. Please. Please don't do this. If you had the chance for one more minute with Alana... please don't make me wait to hear if she... please. If it's just long enough to say goodbye. Please." He lowered his head to hide his tears.
Jason watched as Trent fell apart knowing protocol and regulations forbid him from agreeing to allow Trent on the mission. But Jason also knew he would have moved mountains to say goodbye to Alana, to have only one more minute. "Go rack out. We leave when we land."