A/N- I apologize that the flashbacks haven't been obvious in all chapters. Formatting has been an issue.

Trent reviewed the plan in his mind a hundred times. He doubted he'd ever been as attentive during a briefing and he prided himself on details. His mind had attempted to wander to a place where she was safe and he felt whole but he'd drawn it back to this nightmare he'd never imagined in all the years he had known her.

The plan consisted of them heading into the region in indigenous vehicles before ditching them and hiking the last portion of the trek. The location of the hostages was assumed to be a small village that was mostly abandoned. However in the last week activity had been consistent.

Davis had satellite images she refused to show him of two of the hostages being dragged from a pickup and into a decrepit shack and none showing them moved again. He understood her reluctance to share the pictures and instead had Ray look at them for injuries he would need to prepare for. An hour later Ray came to him.

"I have the information you need." Ray sat beside him as Jason talked to Blackburn close enough for them both to hear.

"Ray, I need you to be gender neutral. I need them to be Hostage 1 and Hostage 2. I need to not know which one is... I can't know." Trent sat straighter as Ray nodded wondering if this was Naima if he could even pretend to be operational.

"Hostages 1 and 2 were hooded when removed from the vehicle. Hostage 1 definitely has a head wound, the fabric of the hood was wet and sticking to the person's head, there seemed to be coordination issues as they stumbled. Hostage 2 was unconscious while being moved and appears to have a leg wound as well. Both were restrained at the wrist behind their backs. The images were grainy as hell, wish I had more." Ray patted his back as he stood to help Brock and Sonny double check their gear.

"Thanks Ray." Trent clasped his hands together.

"Of course." Ray walked away and left him to his thoughts.

STSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTST

"Really? Fight Club?" Serena grabbed the bowl of popcorn and moved it to her lap.

"What did you expect, The Notebook?" Trent reached for the beer he had been sipping.

"Apocalypse Now? I'm honestly shocked you've even heard of The Notebook." She tipped her head back as filled her mouth with the salty popcorn.

"Yeah well then you'd be shocked to know I've actually seen it." He reached into the bowl she held and grabbed a handful.

"Really? Willingly?" Serena laughed as the movie started.

"Well I may have been dead tired and sore as hell with the remote out of reach but I didn't hate it." Trent smiled at her.

"Knew there was more to the story." She laughed.

Trent laughed harder. "Sonny was in the recliner with a pulled calf muscle. We watched it together."

"Oh god." Her smile sparkled. "Sometimes I wonder about your team. I feel like I know them all." She continued watching the T.V.

"You could meet them." Trent turned to face her.

"No, Trent. I uh I don't want to meet them." She stood and walked into the kitchen.

Trent paused the movie and followed her. "Hey." He stopped hoping she would turn back to him.

"I'm sorry." She kept her back to him.

"It's okay." Trent stepped forward and put his hands on the shoulders moving his thumbs against the tightness in her neck. "I'd like to understand though."

"Trent. If I meet them, then this is more. And I don't think I can do more." Trent lowered his hands. Serena turned to face him. "Because if this is more and something happens. Trent, I know what you do when you aren't here. I've been the places you go and I've seen the devastation, the brokenness your life can lead to and I don't know if I can handle that."

"I don't want you to handle that. I just want to watch a movie and eat snacks I'll have to do double PT to work off. I just want to spend tonight next to you. So yeah you're right I don't want you to meet them either." Trent cupped her cheeks with both his hands. "Wanna watch The Notebook next?"

"I do." She sagged slightly and leaned into him. "I'm sorry."

"Please don't be." Trent wrapped her in his arms. "I chose this but you have a right not to."

"And does that make me a hypocrite? I fly around the world and go places most people wouldn't think of going." She spoke into his chest.

"I get shot at... a lot... so no not really. Rena we met while I was rehabbing an injury that should have ended my career, hell it could have killed me. But I do my job because it's who I am, it's who my brothers are. I was born for this, but it's okay if you weren't." Trent kissed the top of her head.

"I do mine because the world should know. They should know that it isn't white picket fences and picnics in the park. I do it because they should know men like you are needed so they can have the lives they have, even if I can never show them you." She wrapped her arms around his back.

"Let's just watch The Notebook now."

STSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTSTST

Trent rode in the passenger seat of the lead vehicle as Brock drove. They had crossed into Somalia with no contact. The silence of the ride was deafening.

"Jase has me pulling rear security with Ray."

"Yeah I'm at the front with Cerb. 1,3, and 6 will breech." Brock's eyes stayed on the dirt road.

"You think that's because he thinks..." Trent could not finish his sentence.

"I think it's the best plan." Brock slowed as they reached the point where the vehicles.

"I'm not going to be okay if this doesn't end well." Trent made no move to open the door.

"It will end well. We go in we get the hostages. We get to exfil. We've done this before and we will do it again. And then we deal with the rest of it." Brock opened his door.

Trent nodded as he followed Brock. "Hey thanks."

"Game face. It's go time." Brock joined their brothers a few feet away.

They hiked in silence through the barren terrain. Trent watched the night sky and wondered if he had ever seen as many stars. The temperature in East Africa can be brutal in the summer and he was grateful it was October. He put one foot in front of the other and then did it again. One step closer to no going back. One step closer to possibly never being the same. One step closer to knowing the truth, whether he was ready for it or not. He moved in silence with his brothers beside him until they reached the edge of the village.

"Bravo 1 to Havoc we have reached Picasso."

"Good Copy Bravo 1. ISR shows no movement."

Jason turned to them. "Let's do this."

Trent followed Ray into position with his entire body tingling. He shoved all thought aside and relied on muscle memory, repetition, and years of experience to move as one with his teammate.

"Bravo 2 and 4 in position." Ray's voice crackled on comms.

"Bravo 5 in position."

His heart was beating wildly in his chest. Like a horse about to race or a dog about to attack his muscles twitched. All his senses were alert with fear.

"Execute, execute, execute!" Jason's voice boomed in his ear.