"Hey." As Trent stepped into the room her back was to the door. "You doing okay?"
"No." Her voice was small and filled with tears.
"Hey." He crossed the room quickly. "What's going on?"
Serena turned to him as his hands landed on her shoulders. Her eyes were puffy and red ringed. She wiped at her nose with her sleeve. "I'm not a kid."
"What?" Trent sat beside her on the bed. "Rena, I'm very confused."
"You sent me to our room." Serena sniffled. "With that look you sent me to our room."
"Oh... That's not what I was trying to do at all." Trent rubbed circles on her back as her breath hitched. "Rena, I just wanted you to be safe."
"I am safe with him. I am safe with your brothers. I'm not safe all alone." Her voice rose as she spoke and a tremble ran down her spine.
"Can you take a deep breath for me?" Trent exhaled slowly.
Serena shook her head back and forth. Her breathing increased and Trent was certain he could feel her pulse from her back. "I can't breathe, Trent, I can't." Her mind flashed back to a dirt floor and Trent kneeling beside her. Her skin felt like it was on fire.
Trent pulled her onto his lap gently so her back was against his chest. "Hey listen I need you to match my breaths. You've got this. In and hold one, two, three and out one, two, three. Good keep breathing with me." Trent continued the slow steady sniper breathing he had learned years before. "You're amazing. I'm so proud of you. Just keep breathing with me."
"Don't feel amazing." Serena leaned her head backwards onto his shoulder.
"I know, but you can talk now." Trent moved his hands from her biceps to wrap his arms around her. "I love you so much."
"I love you too." Serena's body relaxed more as she said it.
"Can I ask where your head went when you were struggling to breathe there?" Trent tightened his arms around her.
"The shack. Jack never woke up and I tried to talk to him. Even after he stopped breathing. I begged him to come back. It was so quiet after he stopped." Tears ran freely down her face. "I don't want to be alone because it's so so quiet now."
"Thank you for telling me. We're gonna get you some help so you don't have to feel this but l promise I'll stay so you aren't alone for now." Trent kissed the side of her head. "Why don't we go get you a ring tonight, how does that sound?"
"That sounds silly." Serena turned to face him. "But thank you for trying tobfind a way to make it better. Can we just go get some food instead?"
"Of course." Trent loosened his grip on her. "We can also stop at your place and get some of your clothes."
"Okay. Do I have time to shower?" Serena stood.
"You do. Hey come here." Trent sat on the edge of the bed pulling her to stand between his legs. He held both of her free and her casted hand in his. "You are going to be okay, you know that right?" He waited for her to nod. "I love you. You also know we waited to long to say that."
"I know." Serena stood still for a moment more. "You think the guys will be mad if we go out instead of doing dinner here?"
"I don't. I'll go tell them and then come back okay?" Trent stood up and wrapped her small frame in his.
"Okay." She stepped back as he let his arms fall away. "Thank you."
"Shhh. Not needed." Trent crossed the room but left the door open as he stepped back into the communal living area of his apartment.
Sonny was still sitting with Clay when Trent walked back into the room. Metal was going through takeout menus. All three men turned expectantly.
"So, she's not okay but it's not because of you." He looked at Clay. "It's because I sent her to the bedroom. I didn't think. She was alone with her friend's body for days." Trent slumped into the recliner. "I am going to take her for a drive. We'll get something to eat. I just need to focus on her for a few hours."
"Trent, I can stay with Sonny." Clay sat forward.
"She likes having you here and if you go she'll feel bad." Trent smiled sadly. "She's going to shower and then we will head out but I'll be back in time to start your evening IV antibiotic dose." He moved to stand.
"Trent I can crash here if you want some help." Sonny kicked his boots off.
"Thanks, Son. Brock was planning to but..." Trent stopped himself from saying more.
"Yeah, he's been distant." Clay looked between them.
"If they'd just fully admit what we all damn well know." Sonny's irritation was obvious.
"It's not that easy, Son. And you know that." Trent looked at him knowingly.
"You're right." Sonny shifted uncomfortably.
"I'm gonna get back in there with her." Trent stood.
Walking back into the bedroom he glanced at the cracked bathroom door before grabbing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and throwing them on the bed. He walked to the door and knocked gently listening to the shower. "You good? I can come in or wait in the bedroom."
"Come in." She didn't say more as he shut the lid to the toilet and sat while she showered.
Trent stood as the water turned off. He reached for a towel and handed it off to her. "Can I check your... can I look at the infection and tube sites before you get dressed."
He hated the hesitation in his own voice and the clinical nature of the terms he forced himself to use. He hated that he knew what to look for and could close his eyes and picture what each wound should look like today. He hated the knowledge he had and for the first time he hated being a medic.
"Yeah you can." She stepped from the shower with wet skin glistening. "Hey you okay?"
"Yeah of course." Trent's smile didn't reach his eyes.
"Okay." Serena stepped from the bathroom and sat with a towel wrapped around herself on the bed. She silently lifted the towel to reveal the wound on her leg.
"How's that feel? Pain level going down?" Trent put gloves on before moving forward.
"It feels okay. Tight and it itches. It feels like an annoyance." Serena watched him as he check the healing wound. There was a sadness in his eyes that she wasn't used to seeing when he looked at her.
He looked up while removing the gloves and getting a new pair. "Switching because this wound was the site of the infection. Can I see the other site?" Trent was on his knee in front of her.
"Yeah." Serena dropped the towel allowing in to fall away.
Trent slowly reached up to palpate the area around the no more than two inch healing incision. "Stitches look good. They can probably come out tomorrow." Trent sat back on his heals pulling the second pair of gloves from his hands. "Everything looks good."
"Trent, can I ask you something?" Serena bit her bottom lip.
"Of course. What's up?" He rose and started putting his med kit back.
"Are you ever going to look at me like you used to again?" Serena pulled the towel around herself.
Trent stopped what he was doing and turned to face her. "Rena." He stepped closer. "When I stepped into that room and you were so still I thought... I don't know what I thought."
"I'm okay." She looked up to him. "I mean I'm really not but I am." She inhaled slowly. "I will be you know, but will you? Do you only see these marks on my skin now instead of me?"
Trent stepped forward and leaned down to rest his forehead against hers. "I see how strong you are. How brave. I see so much more than marks." His lips found hers.
She broke the kiss. "You brought me home." Her left hand found the stitches in her side. "I see your determination when I see this scar. I hope I always have it."
He wasn't expecting her to let the towel drop as she stood. Wasn't expecting her to push him against the wall as her mouth found his neck. She pushed against him as her hands ran through his hair. "Please." She whispered in his ear.
(See Numbed for missing graphic scene.)
He wrapped both arms around her back as he moved on shaky legs to the bed. Laying back he didn't let go, just pulled her with him. Catching his breath he smiled at her. "Does that make our marriage official?"
Serena laughed. "In some backwards places I think it does. But in those same places what we've been doing for years is probably illegal."
"You're probably right."