As he walked to the C-17 he turned back to look at her. She stood at the fence with her fingers linked into the metal. She was smiling at him but he knew it was to hide the tears she would cry later when he wasn't there in their bed tonight.
"It's easier to get on the plane if you don't look back, brother." Ray stepped closer.
"I don't think I ever understood before." Trent turned back around to walk forward.
"Can't unless you're where you are now." Jason walked on his other side.
They hung hammocks and settled into the flight as they reached cruising altitude. "I'm sick of J-bad." Brock spoke quietly as the first beers were opened.
"Amen, brother." Jason knocked their bottles.
"Always somehow feels like the same movie I've seen too many times." Ray sat beside Sonny.
"Clear out the scum and come back in a year or so to do it all again." Sonny added his piece.
"Never seems to change." Clay opened his beer as he sat.
Trent watched the interaction filled with dread. If someone had told him a year before that this could be Brock's last deployment with Bravo and he himself would be one foot on the plane, the other in Va Beach with his wife he would have died of laughter. He sipped his beer and watched his brothers.
He watched as they slowly drifted around the plane. Sonny and Clay starting a poker game with Ray. Jason chatting with Blackburn. Brock swinging in his hammock. Lisa and Mandy with their heads together as usual. Trent watched the pain in Mandy as her eyes wandered to Bravo.
He tried to rid himself of the thought that they weren't anywhere near the right space for this deployment. That this was the beginning of what could be their last mission as a whole. He watched them all while silently begging himself to let everything go and compartmentalize in the way he used to without having to think.
"You good?" Clay sat beside him and he wondered when the poker game had ended.
"Just thinking." Trent took the water offered.
"Talk?" Clay glanced tobthe swinging hammocks.
"Just feels like a bad way to start." He sipped the water.
"Yeah, it does. Just gotta get to the other side." Clay smiled faintly. "Rena handle you leaving okay?"
"Yeah I think so. She's a lot stronger than me. I think the therapist we found has helped. And that damn cat you got her." Trent bumped their shoulders.
"When I was a kid there was a stray dog. Figured a dog would be more work and might piss you off more than a cat." Clay flashed him a smile. "I'm glad she's doing better."
"She calls the guestroom, Clay's room." Trent laughed. "I think she misses having you around."
"You did good with her."
"I know how lucky I got." Trent sat back into the net seat picturing her smiling face first thing in the morning.
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Serena woke early, or maybe late she wasn't sure anymore, hoping to be able to Skype with Trent. It had been four weeks since she had held him and six days since she had seen his face or heard his voice. His emails were short and just a reassurance that he was okay. She pulled his pillow to her chest and her eyes began to dip before she forced herself to sit up slowly.
She opened her laptop and switched the bedside lamp on, the alarm clock shouted silently to return to sleep as it flashed the time. She connected and waited hoping to see his face. Leaning back into the pillows her eyes tried to close. Simba crawled from the foot of the bed until he was curled across her lap.
Trent smiled as the call connected. He laughed when he realized she was asleep. Clay was standing closely in their small shared space and turned to see what the medic was laughing about.
"It's actually sort of adorable, look how happy that damn cat is." Clay laughed as he moved away.
"Is that Ginger Snaps?" Sonny moved to say hello before seeing her asleep. "You really should take a picture as payback for all the 'Trent is sleeping' pictures she has of you."
Trent watched her sleep smiling at the screen. He muted himself not to disturb her and leaned back listening to her softly breathe. The smile on his face faded. "Hey guys does she seem to be breathing normally to you?"
Both men stepped closer and watched her sleep thousands of miles away. They glanced at each other and then to Trent before looking back at the screen. "Trent, she's fine. You're paranoid cause you're not there." Sonny patted his shoulder and walked away.
"Seems off." Trent leaned closer to the screen focusing on watching and listening to her sleep.
"A little fast. Maybe she has a cold. I wouldn't worry too much, brother." Clay followed Sonny outside into the midday heat.
Trent unmuted himself. "Rena. Hey beautiful can you wake up?" He waited a minute just watching her. "Serena Grace Sawyer, I love you so much even if you haven't stayed awake to talk this week." Trent watched her sleep as he quickly wrote her an email letting her know how much he loved her and that their call had connected so he had just watched her sleep.
He watched her knowing she would be upset when she realized she had missed their call but he couldn't help smile at how comfortable she looked curled up with her kitten tucked into his bed. He waited to end the call until Jason stepped into the room to let him know they were heading out soon and needed to brief.
Walking across the base Trent turned to Jason. "I'm worried about Rena."
"Why?" Jason held his pace.
"She's missed calls all week and slept through the one today." Trent put his hands in his pockets and his head down.
"Today here.. her time it's what like three in the morning?" Jason kept walking. "It's her first deployment. She's adjusting."
"You're probably right. Her breathing seemed different... Clay says she probably has a cold." Trent sped up to keep up with Jason. "I'm being that guy, huh?"
"You absolutely are." Jason smiled as he opened the door.
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Serena woke close to six in the morning with her laptop still open next to her. "Fuck." She mumbled as she realised the call had connected and lasted for almost a half hour.
She closed the tab and opened her email seeing she had two new ones from Trent. The first email was as close to a love note as Trent would ever write. The second email was short and to the point letting her know he would be off base and out of touch for at least the next three days.
As the tears slipped down her cheeks she reached for his pillow hugging it and inhaling deeply. She wanted to yell, to scream, to punch something. Anger at herself for falling back asleep coursed through her as she cried ugly messy tears.
When she woke for the day hours later she was still clutching his pillow. Sighing heavily she sat up. Today was supposed to be a good day. She was getting a new camera today and had made plans with Naima to take photos of RJ and Jameelah to send to Ray, but now she wished she could just stay curled up in bed.
She walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before sitting at the table. Pulling out her phone she hit reply on his email. 'Trent, I'm so sorry I missed you. I have a bit of a cold and haven't felt the best this week. Be safe and we will talk soon.' She exhaled slowly while moving to shower.
As she climbed into the hot stream she thought of the last night Trent had spent with her at home. They'd eaten pizza and spent most of the evening in bed. As the evening progressed she was sticky from the combination of both their sweat. She had stepped into the shower and he had followed.
Serena finished her shower and dried off grateful not to have to deal with a cast anymore. Pulling jeans up to her hips she quickly changed her mind and switched to black leggings before retrieving a sweater she had never actually seen Trent wear from his side of closet. She buttoned the light brown cardigan half way and glanced in the mirror satisfied she could pull off the clashing colors before grabbing a hairtie and pulling her still wet hair back.
She sent a quick text to Naima explaining she got a late start and would be over in an hour. She grabbed her keys and she turned back into the apartment, to the kitchen. Serena grabbed a package of saltine crackers and headed out the door.