In the following three weeks Serena had managed to make it to two Skype calls and missed many more. Trent had emailed asking her to go to the doctor, questioning whether her exhaustion was caused by mononucleosis. She assured him she would and googled how long the test took before waiting the appropriate amount of time and letting him know it wasn't Mono. Then he had Skype called her in what was the middle of his night. Seeing her wake from a midday nap startled him.
"Hey beautiful." He said it quietly.
"Oh yeah I look amazing with dried drool on my chin." Serena laughed.
"How was your nap?" He yawned as he asked.
"Good. Feeling better." She smiled at him. "You look exhausted."
"Been a long few days." Wiping his eyes he laughed at something off screen before turning back. "The guys want to say hi." He turned off his Bluetooth headphones and Sonny came into view.
"Ginger Snaps! How are you?"
"I'm good Pumba. How are you?" Serena laughed as he danced behind Trent.
"I'm super!" Sonny smiled widely through the screen.
"Hey Serena, thank you so much for the pictures they turned out amazing." Ray spoke with genuine gratitude.
"Well I'm not sure how they wouldn't with the models I had." She thought back to taking the photos and even snapping a few of Naima to include for Ray and smiled.
"Miss you." Clay's face appeared.
"I miss you too, all of you." Her eyes locked on Trent's.
"When we get home let's get some chicken tikka masala and have a movie night!" Clay exclaimed.
Serena swallowed hard at the thought of Indian Food before she tried to hide the reaction with a laugh. "Deal."
"Alright guys, firepit." Brock smiled at the camera. "Enjoy your talk."
"Thanks Brock." Serena waved.
Trent waited while they filtered out of the makeshift barracks before he turned back to face her. "So how are you really feeling?"
"Trent, I'm fine really."
"You don't look fine. You look exhausted and like you've lost weight. Rena, I'm worried." He folded his arms.
"I'm just getting used to all this. And we both know your boys always feed me so maybe I haven't made as much of an effort as I should." She wanted so badly to reassure him.
"Rena." Trent closed his eyes. "Is this too hard for you?"
"What?" Serena's eyes filled with tears.
"This life... is it too much? Too much stress? Too much worry? Too much being away from each other? Is it all just too much?" Trent whispered his fears aloud.
A tear spilled down her cheek as she resisted the urge to slam the laptop shut. "No." Serena's breath hitched. "None of it is too much. But you asking might be... Did you want me to say yes?"
"No! Of course not." Trent shook his head. "Hey please don't cry." Serena's eyes were downcast but he could see her tears. "Can you look at me?"
"I'm trying not to cry. It's hard being here without you. I'm sorry." Serena looked up.
"Rena, I'm worried about you. It's been a hard few months. Are you still seeing your therapist?" Trent watched her cry wishing he could hold her.
"Yeah."
"Good. Do you think maybe an antidepressant would help? I know you're putting in the work to get better but maybe just a low dose would help?" Trent realized he was touching the screen longing to touch her soft skin.
"I'll talk about it with her and my doctor. I love you, Trent Sawyer." Serena wished he was there to hold her.
Trent smiled. "I love you, Serena Sawyer."
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Serena spent the next two weeks diligently setting multiple alarms to wake her for Skype calls and rewording emails to be upbeat and happy. She made a point of laughing louder and hiding tears more. Trent smiled freely when they spoke and the rest of Bravo seemed more relaxed when the two spoke. Things settled into a calm she decided she could live with while she waited another month for his return.
She was editing photos she had taken of Emma the week before for the girl to use as headshots on auditions when there was a knock at the apartment door. Serena grabbed Trent's Bakersfield sweatshirt and threw it on over the tank top she was wearing. She moved from the kitchen table to the door and peered through the peephole.
On the other side Naima stood with her back straight and worry written across her features. Serena opened the door. "Have you seen the news?" Naima walked into the apartment and moved to the TV turning it on without waiting for a response.
The anchor spoke as images of horror flashed across the screen, of men running, of women crying out, and children screaming. 'And now we go to our correspondent in Jalalabad, Afghanistan Parker Philips. Parker can you hear us?' The image changed to a reporter wearing combat gear including a helmet. 'Parker can you tell us what is happening on the ground there?'
Serena sunk down onto the couch as Naima sat beside her and took her hand. Parker reported on an attack at the military base in Jalalabad and the city that local civilian contractors lived in. He spoke of mortars and RPGs, of small arms and explosions.
Serena's other hand cradled her midsection as they sat silently watching a news report that might destroy their lives for what felt like years. "Naima they are so well trained. I've seen them doing what they do. And Trent," her breath caught. "Trent will do everything he can."
"I've done this before. It's terrifying but I've been here before. I came here because it's your first deployment." Naima turned to her.
"When will we know?" Serena could not say what they would know.
"We would be notified within twenty-four hours. Makes for a long day. If we hear nothing that means one of them might be hurt but not our spouse or they are all fine." Naima reached for the remote. "Can I turn this off?"
"Please." She closed her eyes and said a prayer that he was safe before looking to the seasoned wife beside her. "Thank you for coming. I know that reporter. He's a good guy. Do you want something to drink?"
"Whiskey." Naima looked at the clock noting it was now afternoon.
"Okay." Serena moved to the kitchen and started a kettle to heat water for tea before reaching up to the top shelf above the stove. Trent kept a small amount of alcohol there, the whiskey bottle was pushed to the back.
Naima watched as Serena stood on her tiptoes reaching for the bottle. As she stretched the sweatshirt she was wearing lifted higher on her abdomen. "How many weeks?" Naima smiled as she asked.
"What?" She almost dropped the liquor bottle as she spun around to face the other woman.
"You're showing just a bit. How many weeks are you?" Naima took the bottle from her and poured a glass as the kettle whistled.
Serena bit her lip and smiled. "Almost eleven. Trent doesn't even know yet I wanted to tell him in person... I hope I get to tell him." Tears welled in her eyes.
Naima downed the whiskey in a way that would make Sonny Quinn proud. "You will." She crossed the room and wrapped Serena with her arms holding her while she wept.