Chapter 12: The letter
Elizabeth listened intently when her uncle related details of his conversation with Darcy.
"Oh! Brother! What wonderful news you bring. I wish Mr Bennet were alive to witness their weddings. Girls, did you listen to your uncle, both your sisters are going to be married on the same day? We do not have much time for the preparations. Oh! Mrs Hill, we need to plan the wedding breakfast."
Jane looked at Elizabeth's worried face.
"Lizzy, are you all right?"
"I am astonished at how helpless I feel now."
"He has promised me that he will treat you with respect. He was angry, but I hope it will not last long." Her uncle said.
"He still thinks that I planned the whole thing, doesn't he?"
"Unfortunately, yes. He will come to understand. Elizabeth, your aunt tells me the Darcys of Pemberley are a well-respected family. He seems a little withdrawn, but I cannot find any viable faults in his character. His anger about the event shows that he has good principles."
"What about mine? I have principles too. How could I live with a man who has such an opinion about my character?"
"He will realise your honesty and character in the given time. I am sure about it."
Elizabeth was not convinced. I cannot spend the rest of my life trying to convince him of my innocence. It is horrendous to marry without love and to a man who has strong doubts about my character.
Mr Gardiner had also spoken to Captain Foster regarding Wickham.
"Mr Wickham has left Hertfordshire for good. Captain Foster informed me that he owed a lot of money to many shopkeepers in Meryton. He also told me that some women had already complained about his inappropriate behaviour. Nobody will believe his lies, Elizabeth. Do not worry."
Elizabeth heaved a sigh of relief. I wish I had used my senses during the ball; I could have avoided this unsuitable marriage.
"Mr Darcy will leave to town soon. He may be back only a day before the wedding."
I bet he wants to get far away from me, at least for the time being.
Elizabeth could not sit idle, fully aware that she was to marry a man who despised her.
Maybe I can write to him. Maybe, he will understand.
She knew it was inappropriate to write a letter to him. I have already compromised him; a letter cannot make this worse.
Mr Darcy,
I write this letter finding no other way of explaining myself to you. You may wonder what else I may have to say in my defence. I have resolved to make one last attempt to make you understand my situation.
I did not plan the compromise that day. I ran out of the ballroom when I heard something which upset me. Today, I feel I overreacted to the situation, but on that day, all I wanted to do was to leave the room and find some privacy. I was deeply disturbed, and that was the reason I had been crying.
I did not see you in the dark, and whatever happened after that, I need not elaborate.
I learned from my uncle that you have not changed your mind in your offer of marriage. Believe me, I would not think ill of you, if you plan to change your mind anytime in the coming weeks on your own accord. However, I am asking you to consider the choice now. I know you have given your word to my people, and you may find it against your principles to go back on it. But sir, please consider what you are putting yourself through. We do not even have a minute regard for each other. You would not want to live a life of resentment. I do not have the temperament to prove my innocence to you for the rest of our lives.
My family may suffer if our marriage does not take place, but we will live. You stated the other day that I planned the compromise to help my family. I wish you would be sensible in your accusations. I have never attempted to secure your affection. Don't you think I would have at least tried to be partial towards you before I tried to compromise you?
I am not mercenary. There are many honourable choices that I could make to help my family circumstances rather than trapping a man into a compromise. I wish you would at least think about me without prejudice, caused due to that single event.
I have told everyone who has inquired about the incident that it was not your fault. But I am sure you have not given me that credit. I do not know how to prove anything else to you, and I feel I am not indebted to prove myself to a man who has such false assumptions about my character.
I want you to consider the choice of withdrawing your offer. It may save us both from a life full of misery. I believe that a marriage is built on trust, respect, and love. I do not see any of these between us. To put ourselves through this marriage knowingly, to safeguard our reputations, would be a punishment for the rest of our lives.
You still have time to decide. My uncle is a reasonable man. I will make him understand if you choose to walk away. Please consider my words. When I lost my father, I lost my happiness in life. I do not want to lose my peace of mind, as well. I thank you for reading my letter, and I hope you will reconsider your decision.
Elizabeth Bennet
She read the letter once again and headed to the kitchen. I need to send this before I change my mind.
"Miss Lizzy, is there anything I can do for you?" Mrs Hill asked. She always liked the polite, happy girl, whom she watched to become a young woman with remarkable qualities.
"I need a favour. I have no one else to help me with this. I want Mr Hill to deliver this letter to Mr Darcy and keep it discrete. I assure you it does not have anything inappropriate. But he must read it. I do not want to put you in trouble."
Mrs Hill looked at Elizabeth's troubled face. Poor girl! She is not herself after her father's death.
"Miss Lizzy, I understand your circumstance. Mr Hill will be happy to help you. You have been so kind to our children and us. This is the least we could do."
Elizabeth surprised the cook by giving her a tight hug. Mrs Hill smiled widely.
Darcy stayed in his room the entire evening. He wanted to avoid Miss Bingley. He had met her briefly during tea. After the conversation with her, he resolved to avoid her company till he left Netherfield.
"How horrid Mr Darcy, to be a victim of a compromise. I wonder why you would not publicly disgrace her scheme and make the world aware of her mercenary motives. You need not save her reputation."
"Miss Bingley, I do not want to discuss my personal affairs with you."
"Oh! I am your well-wisher, sir. Imagine how Georgiana would feel to have a sister with no morals. You need not worry about finding another suitable match. Many accomplished women with high moral values would be happy to be your wife." She battered her eyelashes and looked at him with affection.
"Miss Bingley, if I need to speak in plain terms, your advice is not needed in any of my decisions. And I warn you to stop talking ill about my future wife."
Miss Bingley's words angered him. He was surprised to find himself defend Elizabeth.
He kept to himself and used the time to write to Georgiana. He did not want her to come to the wedding. He wanted to marry Elizabeth and leave Hertfordshire for good.
Late in the evening, his valet handed him a letter.
"Sir, one of the servants from Longbourn delivered this letter."
"Thank you. You may leave."
Darcy thought it was from Elizabeth's uncle.
He was surprised when his eyes spotted the name at the end of the letter.
What does she mean by writing to me? Does she think we are that close now?
He read the letter with little interest. His mind had already formed a deep prejudice towards Elizabeth. As he progressed through the contents of the letter, his anger rose. She accuses me of lacking sense? How dare she?
She wants me to believe her when she has no proof to support her claims. This is all nonsense; she knows for sure that I will not withdraw my offer.
Somehow his pride was hurt when he read her words about having no partiality towards him. According to him, all women wanted to gain his affection, and he thought she wanted to insult him by stating the opposite.
He folded the letter angrily and stomped around his room.
She does not even deserve a reply. He thought.
He left Netherfield the next morning, happy at the prospect of getting two weeks of peace before his marriage. No trust, love, and respect, she states. Yes! I do not have any of those for her. She is right in that aspect at least.
He thought, as his carriage sped away towards London.