Chapter 14: The wedding
Darcy left for Hertfordshire a day before the wedding.
Richard had insisted on attending the wedding. But Darcy disagreed. He had written to his aunt and uncle regarding the wedding. He did not mention any details about the compromise.
He planned to conceal the detail from Georgiana as well.
As he approached Netherfield, his mind filled with thoughts about that dreadful night. Images of her tear-stained face haunted him. He tried to avoid the vision.
How long can you avoid her? She is to sit in this same carriage with you tomorrow. He thought.
Mr Bingley welcomed him in great spirits.
"It is so good to see you, Darcy. I cannot wait for tomorrow. Come and refresh yourself."
Darcy felt apprehensive about the next day. The pure happiness and thrill his friend felt did not resonate with him. He headed to the library. He remembered the few times he had seen her reading there.
What a turn of events? I never imagined she would be my wife. He thought.
At Longbourn, Mrs Bennet had arranged for a scrumptious wedding breakfast. She was thrilled about their turn of fortune.
Mrs Gardiner took the responsibility of talking to her nieces about their wedding nights.
Elizabeth and Jane were embarrassed about the topic of discussion.
Mrs Gardiner gave them an idea of what to expect sensibly.
Elizabeth saw Jane blush out of embarrassment. Her face was almost red. In contrast, Elizabeth's face turned white. Unfortunately, the only emotion she felt was fear.
How could I be intimate with a man who is a stranger to me? Oh! God! I was no naïve to have not thought about this at all. He would need an heir. What am I to do?
She knew the difference between feeling shy and embarrassed, from being terrified.
She went to bed, knowing for sure that she would stay awake till the morning.
The Bingley sisters showed little interest in their brother's wedding. He warned them to behave with dignity towards the Bennets.
Darcy had not said a word to Miss Bingley since his arrival at Netherfield.
When they arrived at the chapel, Darcy could see happy faces in anticipation of the most talked about event in the village of Meryton.
Elizabeth and Jane entered the church with their uncles. Both of them missed their father deeply. One for missing such a happy event, and the other wishing that he was alive to stop her from drowning in misery.
Mr Bingley was enchanted by Jane's appearance. My angel! He thought as she walked down the aisle.
Darcy had anticipated the moment for two weeks. He expected to see a happy bride walking down the aisle, enjoying the attention she got in her marriage to a man like him.
When he saw Elizabeth, he noticed that her face expressed nothing but despair. She looked as if she would run away from the chapel anytime.
He could not brush aside the fact that she looked beautiful in her elegant gown, more beautiful than her sister.
I might have appreciated her beauty had she been my choice, instead of being forced into my life.
Hundreds of thoughts raced through Elizabeth's mind. She saw him from a distance, the tall, handsome man, with a look of displeasure evident in his face.
She hoped that she would not faint during her vows.
The ceremony was simple. Jane and Bingley exchanged their vows first. Darcy and Elizabeth did the same without any feeling of happiness in their voices.
Darcy looked at her with a critical gaze. She saw his eyes were cold with resentment.
With the nonchalant "I do" uttered by both of them, they were married and tied for life. Forced by fate, they were to begin a life together without love.
Darcy offered her his hand as they walked out of the church. She took it without a word.
The carriage ride to Longbourn was uncomfortable for both of them. They had not said a word to each other since the ceremony.
Darcy was in no mood to talk to her. He was still angry at her.
The general mood in Longbourn was happy, except for the silent couple. Elizabeth noticed the few times her husband conversed with her uncle he did so in a respectful manner.
During breakfast, Mrs Bennet could not contain her happiness.
"Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy, I cannot express how happy we are to have you in our family. Fate has been cruel, by taking away Mr Bennet. But see how God has compensated for his loss. That too, with such a good fortune. Especially, Lizzy, I hear Pemberley is such a grand estate, I never imagined she would be well settled in life."
Mrs Gardiner tried to divert the topic. Elizabeth blushed in agony.
The stiffness in her husband seated next to her conveyed his anger and irritation.
Her mother went on and on about carriages, clothes, and pin money. Elizabeth was utterly mortified. Oh! God! Mamma! Please stop.
"Who would have thought that the Netherfield ball would seal the deal for both my daughters. Mr Bingley, I must thank you for the wonderful occasion."
Elizabeth noticed how her husband hardly ate anything served.
She did not dare to look up and meet his eyes.
Everybody was relieved when the breakfast was over. They were seated in the drawing-room, and Darcy did not make an effort to talk to anybody except Mr Bingley and Mr Gardiner.
When the trunks were loaded, Darcy looked at Elizabeth with a steadfast gaze. She knew she had to leave. I cannot leave without knowing. I need to.
She suddenly got up and said, "Mamma, can I have a word with you in the parlour?"
Mrs Bennet was surprised. She got up and followed her daughter.
Elizabeth shut the door and looked at her mother with despair.
"Did you do it, mother?"
"Do what, Lizzy?"
"Did you have anything to do with the compromise? Did you arrange the maid?"
"What on earth are you talking about?"
"Mamma, please, tell me. I did not have the doubt before, but now, I do. Please tell me. Did you plan it?"
To her surprise, Mrs Bennet started crying and sank into the chair.
"You horrible child. How could you? How could you throw an accusation like that on me? You think I am capable of ruining my daughter just for the sake of a good fortune?"
"But you were so happy in whatever happened."
"Of course, I am happy. Do you think I would want you or any of your sisters to find employment? And be thrown into this wicked world? I am happy that you did not have to employ yourself as a governess. I am happy that you will be safe. Lizzy, you may think I hate you, but that is not true. Ever since I knew about the entailment of this estate, I have spent sleepless nights thinking about the future. When we did not have a son, I begged your father to concentrate on improving our estate. He was so sure that he would live long and nothing would happen to us. I prayed day and night that he should live a long life. But see what happened, my worst fears came true. I have obsessed over finding rich husbands for you because I did not want you all to suffer. You can call me greedy; I do not mind. I cannot bear the weight of being called immoral. I never understood your father, and I never understood you. I do not have a mind to understand your sarcasm or intelligence. But your father never understood me. He brushed aside every request of mine to increase your dowries. He only increased my worries by not taking me seriously. I will never forgive him for that. I know you love your father dearly; I may not be intelligent like him. I may talk out of turn, but I love you. I may not say it often. I do not understand you, but I love you. I may have said so many things about your grand estate, carriages, servants, and clothes because I am happy for you. You are my daughter. I am happy to see you comfortably settled. You may not love your husband, not yet, but all marriages do not start in love. I will pray every day for your happiness. I am helpless, Lizzy. I have been so ever since I was sidelined by your father. What he thought of me, I became. I transformed into a worried, stressed, stupid mother of five daughters. Please do not accuse me of ruining your reputation. I cannot bear it. You have been the pillar of this house since your father's demise. I am proud of you. I half expected you to say "no" at the altar."
Elizabeth stood in shock when she heard her mother's speech. She had never had an intimate conversation with her ever. She felt guilty that she may have sidelined her mother over the years.
She kneeled and hugged her mother tightly.
"Mamma, I am sorry if I upset you. Please forgive me."
"Do not cry. You had the right to ask. Get up now. Mr Darcy must be waiting."
Elizabeth, for the first time, understood her mother from a different point of view. Her father was a very clever man. But she knew he never attempted to show affection or care for her mother. He was happy with his books and enjoyed solitude. Her mother may have been a different person had he supported her in her emotional needs and taken her words more seriously. She kissed her mother and said, "I will miss you, Mamma. Please take care."
Darcy wondered what his wife was up to. He was extremely angry during breakfast when he heard his mother-in-law ranting about her good fortune. He wanted to leave the table but tried to compose himself.
How could she boast about the fortune they got out of a disgraceful compromise? He thought.
He noticed the emotional state of both the mother and daughter when they came out of the parlour.
Why all this drama? He thought.
"Shall we leave?" He asked her.
His voice was stern and formal. Elizabeth nodded her head in reply.
"Lizzy, promise me that you will write to me often." Jane said with feeling.
"I shall, Jane. I will miss you dearly."
They hugged each other tightly. The sisters had been a source of strength to each other all the years. Elizabeth was truly happy to see Mr Bingley comfort Jane in her sadness.
You deserve him, Jane. She thought.
She waved goodbye to the people and the house she had known since she was born. She did not know if she would be able to visit Longbourn in the future. She felt her father's presence somewhere in the house, waving a sad goodbye.
Bye! Papa! She said as she looked at the house for one last time.
Darcy handed her in.
As the carriage started, she looked at her husband seated opposite to her. The moment he met her eyes, he looked away.
What can you expect from a forced marriage? She thought and turned towards the window, hoping to glance a glimpse of Hertfordshire for one last time.