Chapter 24: Details of the past
Elizabeth watched him stand with a puzzled look on his face.
"Mr Darcy, if you cannot imagine what I am inferring here, then I will make it easy for you. I need to know everything about Emma."
"I have told you what you need to know." Darcy said, looking annoyed.
"You cannot decide the parameters of what my knowledge should be about the matter. You did not care to reveal about her existence when we were in town. I can only attribute that to the ill opinion you have on me. I do not care about it. But, do you want me to maintain a fake relationship with her as well?"
"No! Of course not."
"Then how do you expect me to bond with her? Every time I look at that innocent face, my mind fills up with questions about her father, her grandmother, and so many other things."
"Those details are of the past, and they do not matter now."
"Very well. I shall go around asking Emma's nanny, Georgiana, and even Mrs Reynolds. Thank you for your time." She said with sarcasm and turned around.
"Elizabeth, stop!" Darcy cried as he watched her leave.
"Mr Darcy, I can see that you do not trust me. But I am going to be in Emma's life. Would you want me to look at her as a puzzle? I do not even know what you have told her about her parents."
Darcy could not deny her reasoning. He walked near the window and sighed.
She is right.
"What would you like to know?"
"Everything." She said as she walked close to the window.
Darcy looked at her sadly. He hated to revisit the details about Anne.
"Lady Katherine is my mother's sister. Anne was her only child. Though they were sisters, my mother and Lady Katherine were stark contrasts in characters. Since my childhood Lady Katherine has talked about a potential marriage between Anne and me. She used to call it an engagement in the cradle. My parents tried to make her understand that they would never force me into a marriage of such a design, but she was very adamant."
Elizabeth listened keenly.
"Anne was very sick as a child, and she grew up to be the same. She hardly left her room. Her father died when she was ten, and Lady Katherine took over managing Rosings. We visited Rosings every year, and I carried on the tradition after my parents died." He paused and looked at her.
"Neither Anne nor I had any idea about marrying each other. She was more like a sister to me. Lady Katherine never understood our preferences. I personally thought Anne had no idea about matrimony until my visit to Rosings around four years ago. She informed me that she was in love. And it was her doctor, Mr John Nash, that she wanted to marry. She asked me to talk to Lady Katherine and help her. She was scared that her mother would be angry at her. Dr Nash was an orphan raised by the parish. He had no wealth, but he was deeply in love with Anne as well."
"I knew that Lady Katherine would be angry. But I was wrong, she was hysterical, and she lashed out at Anne. She banished Mr Nash from Rosings, and threatened him to leave Kent. Anne was scared for his life. They wanted to get married. He did not want any of her property or even the status of being the owner of Rosings. Anne also wanted to leave Rosings. She found the atmosphere around her mother toxic. Lady Katherine was extremely angry, and forced me to marry Anne within that month. I tried reasoning with her, but she was adamant. Anne did not want to wait any longer. She urged me to take her away to Pemberley. I agreed. I brought them to here and got them married before Lady Katherine could spoil my plans. All I wanted was to make Anne happy. I knew that they loved each other deeply."
What a soulful love story. Elizabeth thought.
"What happened when she came to know about her daughter's marriage?"
"She came to Pemberley and threatened to kill Anne's husband."
"Oh! God!"
"Unfortunately for her, Pemberley is not Rosings. She does not have power or control over anybody here. I was able to protect them. She cursed them and declared that her daughter was dead to her."
And it came true.
Darcy looked troubled, and Elizabeth saw the pain in his eyes.
"Anne and her husband settled down in a property close to Pemberley. They were very happy. In a few months, Anne was with a child. She was weak, and I could sense her fear about childbirth. When she was about seven months pregnant, her husband left for France with an opportunity to work there. Though they settled here, he wanted to make a living of his own, elsewhere. He was a good doctor. Anne never wanted him to leave. He promised that he would be back in a month. And they planned to leave to France as a family once she gave birth. Unfortunately, the ship he took sank. There were no survivors, and he died."
Elizabeth gasped. She could see Darcy struggle to hold his composure.
"Anne was devastated after his loss, and her health deteriorated. Lady Katherine came here once she got the news about her husband's death. She wanted Anne to birth the child and leave it at some orphanage and go back to Rosings."
"How horrible! How can she be so cruel?"
"Anne had hoped her mother would change. But she was devastated by her visit. She was so scared for the welfare of her child. When Emma was born, it took all the strength out of her. She died within a week. I promised her that no harm would come to the child, especially from her grandmother."
"Did Anne really think that her mother was capable of hurting her grandchild?"
"According to Lady Katherine, the child is of inferior birth and not an heir to Rosings. She detested their marriage so much. So, I became Emma's guardian, and she has been the part of our family and our happiness."
"Did you have any problems with Lady Katherine after Emma was born?"
"No! But I am worried that someday I may. Lady Katherine should never come near Emma. We cannot trust her."
"Emma may be young, but she must have asked about her parents."
"She has, in the past few months. We have told her that her parents are in a distant place. She does not understand the meaning of death. I do not know how to make her understand."
Darcy saw Elizabeth's eyes moisten.
Poor child!
"I was so sure that I was doing the right thing when I got them married. Now, both are dead."
"You cannot blame yourself. You did what was best for them." Elizabeth said looking at the guilt on his face.
Darcy was silent. Elizabeth suddenly felt very guilty for forcing the details out of him.
"When Lady Katherine visited Anne before Emma was born, she tried to convince her that her husband did not love her and had left her because he could not get her inheritance."
"I am sure Anne did not believe her."
"She did not. But if Mr Nash had not taken that trip, he would still be alive. Emma would have had a father. I can do everything for her, but I am still not her father." He said with feeling.
Unknowingly, Elizabeth touched his sleeve.
"Mr Darcy, you cannot reverse the events of the past. I can see that she adores you. Imagine what would have happened if she did not have your care and protection. You have given her beautiful life. You must be proud and not guilty."
Darcy looked at her adoringly. He felt comforted by her words. He realised that they were standing very close together. He noticed Elizabeth's hand on his sleeve. She seemed to be oblivious of the touch. For a moment, Darcy forgot everything he had against her and was grateful for her presence in his life.
They heard a knock on the door, and Elizabeth withdrew her hand by instinct and moved away. They blinked at each other. Elizabeth blushed in embarrassment.
"That must be my steward. I have some business with him. Do you need to know anything else?"
"No! I understand everything perfectly now. Thank you for sharing the details with me."
She headed to the door, and she heard him call her.
"Elizabeth."
She turned around.
"I did not mean to keep this away from you on purpose. I have a problem with trusting people and sometimes even trusting myself. In town, our situation was very new to both of us. We could not have a conversation that did not turn into an argument. I was not in a temperament to revisit all these details. I apologise if my actions have hurt you."
Elizabeth stood there staring at him. Is he apologising to me? It is not possible.
"I understand. I did not imagine that there could be so much misery in her past. I am sorry for making you relive such painful memories."
There was the knock again on the door. Darcy did not answer it.
"Are you going to answer the door?" She asked him, raising her eyebrows playfully. Darcy loved that look of hers.
"Oh! Yes! Of course."
Elizabeth left him as his steward entered.
What a story behind Emma. He feels guilty, where any other man should have gloated about his generosity towards his cousin.
She felt guilty for forcing the story out of him.
He is right. Maybe if he had married me out of love, he would have been more open with me. As much as he is wrong about my character, he has no reason to trust me. He doesn't know anything about me.
Darcy sat in his study with his mind filled with thoughts about her. He hardly concentrated on his steward.
She could have asked Mrs Thomson about everything, but she came to me instead.
Contrasting to his opinion, he had found comfort in sharing his burden with her.
Maybe, this is how it feels to have a wife, a companion who understood me. But she is not. I vouched to her that she could never be.
He remembered her touch. It was so natural and comforting for him. Her embarrassment when she realised that her hand was resting on his sleeve made him ask the same question again. The question that he had begun to ask himself almost every day.
Is this the woman who trapped me into a compromise?