Chapter 37- The mutual feeling
Darcy was heartbroken, seeing the tears on her face.
"Elizabeth, it is not today that I have realised your worth. I understood your innocence in the compromise long ago. I know I asked for facts to support your words. But I have come to understand that I don't need any. I am ashamed to think how much pain I have caused you because of my hasty judgment of your character. Anger blinded me. I wanted to acknowledge this to you for so many weeks, but I am ashamed to say that I did not know how to."
Elizabeth listened, unable to believe his words.
"What do you see in me that you didn't see before, Mr Darcy?" She asked in a quivering voice.
"I see the woman who never flirted with me. I see the woman who cared so earnestly for her sick sister. I see the woman so independent and brave enough to run her own business in Meryton."
Elizabeth stared at him in disbelief.
"Your cakes, Elizabeth. I remember tasting them at a shop in Meryton. And today, you made the same for me."
Oh! God! He remembered.
"I was intrigued by the flavour and the beautiful patterns you had made on them. I remember asking the shopkeeper about the baker. He refused to divulge the details. You stated in your letter that there were many ways to live an honest living, and that is true, had I not married you, you would have lived a life filled with independence and self-respect. Every day, you have put me to shame about my actions. I always questioned your worth in becoming my wife. I never once asked myself whether I have that liberty. I whole-heartedly admit to you, whatever wealth or status I may have in this society is not equal to your character. I was wrong in every decision I took that day, and I know my apologies can never compensate for the pain you had to and are still undergoing."
Elizabeth felt the sincerity in his words.
"Do you think my mother did it?"
"No. You denied it. I believe in your words."
Elizabeth tried hard to control her tears.
"I can never reverse the events of the past. I can never bring back the days lost. But I can offer you a better future. "
"What do you mean?"
"Whatever it is you decide, I will oblige. If you want to get this marriage annulled, I can arrange for that. Whatever decision you take, I will make sure that you are not blamed for it. I am certain that these are very minute amendments that I can make to the misery I have caused you. I have never felt so angry at myself before. All those values I stated as a requirement on our marriage night are irrelevant when my own are weighed. I have failed as a human being. In judgement and reasoning." He said with a look of agony.
"You want to….You mean..you want to get an annulment if I wish for it? Why? Why now?"
" Because...I love you. I love you most ardently, and I want you to be happy. If your happiness depends upon it, then I am willing to do so, however difficult it is going to be to let you go."
The clock struck twelve as his words echoed inside the library.
She couldn't speak. She could not doubt the look of adoration on his face. For Darcy, it seemed like an eternity since she spoke.
"You love me?" She asked him, still in shock.
"Yes, I do. I cannot name an hour or date to when it started. At first, I fought it. But I could not. Every day you gained my love and respect in so many ways. I do not love you because you are perfect for Pemberley, perfect for Georgiana and Emma. I love you because you are the kindest, most intelligent, and beautiful woman I have known in my life."
"And still, you want us to part?" She asked in agony.
"I do not, Elizabeth. I do not. But I want to give you a choice I never gave you before. I want you to have some control over your life. I want you to be happy. I wish I had stated all this before I tried to kiss you that day. But after that, I thought it was too late to convey my love for you, trying to take advantage of you like that. I left because I was scared of what I may do to your liberty. You did not deserve any of this. I am truly sorry."
"Do you even realize what you are saying? You still do not understand me. Do you think I have no feelings for you?
"I have allowed myself to hope that you may feel something for me but as a rational being, I know that it is impossible. How could you have feelings for a man who questioned and scorned your character and chose to take away everything from you?"
"But I do."
Darcy stared at her in shock.
"Elizabeth, do you...?"
Before he could finish his sentence, she fell into his arms and started sobbing. Darcy could not bear her distress. He hugged her tightly.
In-between muffled sobs, she said, "I love you. I love you so very much. Please, do not ask me to weigh your accusations and give you reasons for how I could love you? You say you took everything away from me. It is not true. You gave me your love and protection. As much as I doubted it was love, you showed me that you cared about me in every small way. All I wanted you to believe me for what I was, and today it has happened."
Darcy's heart felt lighter. She loves me.
He lifted her chin and met her gaze.
She was still crying. He wiped her tears away.
"You do not know how I feel to hear these words. You truly have a kind heart to look beyond my flaws and love me."
"The only flaw I saw in you was your prejudice against me. Sometimes, I sincerely hoped that we should never find out the truths about the compromise. I would not have been able to bear the change of your heart that way. Do you not wish to know what happened that day?"
"I do not. If at all I come to know, I do not know what my rage will do to the one who orchestrated it. As much as I wish to blame everything on that person, I have to admit that I became a part of a more serious crime by forcing you to marry me. I can never forgive myself for what I put you through."
"Please do not be hard on yourself. You did what you thought was right. And I realize you have suffered the same way I did in our relationship."
"My suffering is nothing when compared to yours. I love you dearly, Elizabeth. I will spend the rest of our lives proving that in every way."
"I love you too, Mr Darcy". She said, blushing deeply.
Darcy yearned for her to call him by his given name. But he did not want to press her. He kissed her on her forehead, and she closed her eyes basking in his warmth and security.
They stood in the library for a long time. Elizabeth could not explain the feeling in her heart, the pain, and torment all vanishing in just a few moments. The very fact that he believed and loved her without any proof made her ecstatic.
They spoke a lot more, and Darcy explained how depressed he had felt after leaving Pemberley.
"I have never felt so alone in my life before. Even after my father's death, I busied myself in estate matters. But being away from you, every minute was torture."
"I felt the same way. I started imaging you everywhere in the house. Georgiana was too naive to notice. But, Mrs Reynolds used to look at me very sympathetically."
"She has nothing but praise for you. Were you angry when I left without saying anything?"
"I was not angry at you. I knew you were upset with yourself for what happened."
"I am truly sorry. I wish I had not left you but had this conversation. When I started from London yesterday, all I wanted was to open up to you."
Elizabeth rested her head on his shoulder. She felt happy and safe.
It was almost 1 am by the time they left the library. They walked hand in hand, as a couple, knowing that their feelings for each other were mutual. Darcy walked her into the small parlour which connected the rooms. They had never made use of the space to break their fast in privacy.
"Would you like to have breakfast here tomorrow?" He asked her hoping she would agree.
"But, won't Georgiana feel left out? " She asked.
Darcy beamed at her concern for others than her wanting.
"Elizabeth, as a couple, this should have been our routine. If you do not wish it, I will not press you. Georgiana would not mind."
"I shall be happy to have breakfast here." She said, seeing his eagerness.
Darcy smiled at her. He knew that there was one important thing left on his side to do.
He surprised Elizabeth by lifting her swiftly in his arms. He carried her into her room and gently placed her on her bed. Darcy understood the shock and embarrassment on her beautiful face.
Elizabeth had not thought about it before, but she was not a simpleton to misunderstand his intentions.
Please don't accuse me of another cliffhanger 😊