Chapter 51: Disagreement
A week passed. Elizabeth and Darcy carefully avoided talking about Lady Catherine. The legal procedures for Emma's adoption were still unclear.
Darcy thought about going to London to find out if anything else could be done.
The thought of being away from Elizabeth tortured him. He stayed silent during breakfast, engulfed in his thoughts.
"My dear husband, if you frown so much you may end up with wrinkles before Christmas." Elizabeth said playfully.
Darcy smiled at her.
"Is that so? I believe I already have some. I feel very old when compared to you. You have child-like energy that radiates wherever you are. I have never seen Georgiana and Emma so happy and lively. Even Mrs Reynolds laughs now and then these days."
Elizabeth laughed.
" You cannot stop teasing her, can you? "
" Well, you know I respect her a lot. But she can be very intimidating."
" Says Mr Darcy. You know how intimidating you can be?"
" I am not. I am just reserved and shy. That is all."
" Yes! Very reserved indeed. You kissed me in the hallway yesterday, sir. Your level shyness amazes me."
Darcy laughed.
"What am I to do with such a beautiful wife by my side." He said and gave her a quick kiss.
"I am taking Emma and Georgiana to the village. We want to buy some books. We will be back in a few hours."
"I hope you enjoy yourselves." Darcy said.
He busied himself in his study. He was surprised when the footman brought a letter from an express rider. It was from Richard. What now? He thought and opened it anxiously.
When he finished reading it, he was agitated. I have to make a decision. I cannot do it myself. I promised Elizabeth that we would always make decisions as a couple. I cannot do anything against her wish.
He waited anxiously for her return. Elizabeth always enjoyed her trip to the village. Her love for Derbyshire grew day by day. The village of Lambton reminded her of Meryton.
They enjoyed their shopping and bought a lot of books.
The party returned home in happy spirits. Darcy did not feel like discussing the letter with Elizabeth at that moment.
Once they retired for the night, he entered her room. She sat by the mirror brushing her hair.
"Elizabeth, there is something we need to discuss." He said with hesitation. He held out Richard's letter.
She took it from his hand with concern.
Darcy,
Do not be alarmed at the mode of arrival of this letter. I am writing to you from Rosings Park. I came here a couple of days ago to visit Lady Catherine. I could not believe my father's words. I had to come to see for myself.
The day I came, she looked tired and weak. But nothing was alarming in her condition.
She was happy to see me. She repents on how she treated Anne and her husband. She begged to see Emma. I tried to convince her that it may not be possible immediately. She did not take my words well.
It distressed her beyond measure. She has not eaten anything in the past two days. The doctor is concerned that her health may deteriorate.
I cannot believe that I am saying this, but she has changed Darcy. I believe miracles can happen when a person thinks they are on their deathbed.
As much as she repents losing Anne, she realizes that Emma is her blood. All she wants is to see her.
I understand how you and Mrs Darcy may feel regarding this, after all that she did in the past. But please understand that if something is to happen to her, we may have to live with guilt for the rest of our lives. I plan to stay here for a few more weeks. Please do make a decision and write to me.
I am not pressing you, but please think about giving her a chance.
Yours,
Richard Fitzwilliam
Elizabeth did not know what to make of the letter. She respected Richard a lot. She knew he could not be easily deceived. Has she changed? She thought. No, I witnessed her rage in person. She cannot change so quickly.
Darcy waited patiently for her.
"Fitzwilliam, what does this mean? Do you really believe she has changed?" She asked in confusion.
"I honestly do not know. Until I see her, I cannot believe in anything."
"See her? You plan to visit her?" She asked in disbelief.
Darcy was silent. Elizabeth suddenly felt weak. He wants to take Emma as well. Oh! No!
"Fitzwilliam, say something. You plan to take Emma as well. Don't you?" Elizbeth cried in distress.
"Please calm down. I haven't made any such decision."
"Then why did you show this letter to me?"
"Because I want to discuss with you before we make a decision."
"You know very well what my thoughts are on this topic. Your cousin's letter is not going to change anything."' She said impatiently.
"Elizabeth, all I am asking is to discuss this matter."
"I think you have already made a decision. I knew something was wrong since we came back from the village today."
"You are assuming things. I promised you that I will not decide anything without your approval. You need to hear my thoughts on this subject. We discussed in detail about Emma's adoption, but we did not have a decent conversation about the issue with Lady Catherine." Darcy said trying to control his anger.
"I do not know what you can possibly say that I do not know." She cried.
"Why are you so adamant? That you do not even want to listen to me?"
"Yes, I am adamant because I care about Emma. I want to keep her safe."
"You forget that I have taken care of her welfare since she was born."
"Do you mean to say that I have known her only for six months?"
"I did not say anything like that." Darcy said with impatience.
"You are right. You did not say it, but you reminded me of the same."
"I have done nothing against your wishes. All I am asking is to discuss and make a decision. You know how much I respect your words."
"Says the man who thought I trapped him into a compromise." Elizabeth said without a thought and regretted her words immediately.
She saw Darcy's face turn white. But it was not in anger. He was hurt beyond measure. Even though they had resolved everything between them, Darcy could not forgive himself for all the trauma she underwent during the initial stages of their marriage and the incident with Wickham. He spent every moment not wanting to disappoint her. When he heard the words about the compromise from her lips, he was devasted.
"I am sorry for taking up so much of your time, madam." He said formally, unable to stay in her presence, and left her room.
Elizabeth watched him close the door and leave. She cursed her anger. What have I done? She knew her words reminded him of the biggest mistake he did in his life.
I forgave him long ago. How did I have the heart to bring it up again? He does not deserve such words from me.
She suddenly felt lightheaded and sat on the bed. She knew she spoke out of anger. It was a flaw she knew she had since childhood. She stared at the door with tears in her eyes. It seemed like an eternity since they argued about anything.
They had never slept alone since the first night they spent together. Elizabeth knew no matter what she could never sleep away from him. She loved him beyond measure. She relished waking up in his arms every day. I need to apologise.
She opened the door to his room. The candles flickered in the darkness. The room was empty. Maybe he is in the study.
She then spotted the door to the balcony open.
She saw his tall figure in the moonlight. Elizabeth did not know how to approach him. She hoped that he would forgive her.
She walked to the balcony. The air was cool. She stood in silence, unable to speak.
Darcy was oblivious to her presence.
She mustered courage and spoke.
"Fitzwilliam, I am so sorry. I do not know what came over me. It was cruel of me to bring up the past. I am truly sorry." She said, unable to control her tears.
Darcy looked at her. He did not say anything.
"I know you are angry. I do not know why I was so adamant. I just know one thing. I can never sleep without you. I am so sorry. I love y…."
Darcy had no idea of hearing anything more from her.
He silenced her with a passionate kiss. She reciprocated his kiss with equal passion. They stood in the moonlight, not wanting to part.
Darcy carried her to his bed. As she had confessed, he had no intention of spending a single night away from her.