Chapter 52: A tough decision

"I am an idiot." Darcy said.

"How so? Please explain yourself, so that can wholeheartedly agree." Elizabeth said in a teasing tone, resting her head on his shoulder. Darcy's hand protectively wrapped her in an embrace.

The moonlight filtered through the balcony door.

"I thought once we declared our love for each other, we would never argue. It cannot be possible between a husband and wife, can it? Though the subject you brought up was something I am ashamed of, I cannot but admit how attractive you are when you are angry."

"Really? Is that why you fell in love with me? Because I constantly challenged you."

"That may be one of the reasons." Darcy said smiling.

"I am glad that you came looking for me. The second I walked out of your room, I regretted it. I am too greedy to ask you not to mention about the compromise."

"I should not have. It may lead you to think I hold it against you. It is not so. I spoke out of anger. Tell me now. What are your thoughts on visiting Lady Catherine?"

Darcy looked at her lovingly.

"I know you are protective about Emma. Please understand I do not want to do anything against your wishes."

"I trust you."

"I have told you many things about Anne. I remember telling you that asked me to keep Emma safe from danger."

"Yes, I remember. By danger, you meant Lady Catherine."

"Yes. Anne feared that she may harm Emma. But in her deathbed, she also made me promise something."

Elizabeth listened keenly.

"If at all, Lady Catherine changed, Anne wanted Emma to know her grandmother."

Fitzwilliam, I know you will take care of her. I know you will give her all the affection and comfort she needs. But I do not want her to grow up without knowing her own grandmother. If at all mother changes, I want them to know each other.

"These were her words. At that moment, it was quite certain that both of us knew that such a thing would never happen. Richard was there with me that day. I reckon that is the reason he is in Kent now. He wouldn't write to me unless he is absolutely certain."

Elizabeth was silent.

"I do not know if she changed. But if she is dying, this could be Emma's only chance to see her grandmother." Darcy said.

"I understand how you feel. I did not know this detail about Anne. But I do not want to lie. I have a feeling that Lady Catherine has not changed and there is some ulterior motive."

"What could that be? I have thought about it too."

"I do not know."

"There is nothing she needs from us. She has wealth. She has people at her disposal to do whatever she needs." Darcy said with certainty.

"That is true." Elizabeth said, unable to point out any reason.

"You have heard my thoughts. What do you think? I want to give her a chance and take Emma to Rosings. But if you are against it, I can reconsider. Maybe, I can visit Lady Catherine for the time being."

"Can you give me some time to think?" She asked.

"Of course."

They went to sleep, happy and contented that they understood each other. The next morning, she was in deep thought about her decision.

She read Charlotte's letters again. Both Richard and Charlotte had conveyed the same thoughts.

But somehow Elizabeth could not believe it. Why am I unable to give her the benefit of doubt? I met her only for ten minutes, but something about her character struck me that day. Such deep-rooted hatred cannot be wiped away in an instant.

"Mrs Darcy pardon me, is something troubling you? I can assure you that Emma had a good sleep." Mrs Thomas said with concern.

"Oh! I was thinking about another matter. Did Mrs Nash ever talk about her mother?" Elizabeth asked Emma's nanny.

"She did. As much as she was distressed about the bitterness in their relationship, she always said that Lady Catherine loved her beyond measure."

Elizabeth was silent.

"Had she been alive, maybe they would have found a way to reconcile. But when I think about it, the chances are pretty low for her to have accepted Emma."

"I wish Mrs Nash was alive."

"Fate is cruel. They were so happy together. Though her health was always a concern, she was confident about childbirth. But when we got the news about her husband's demise, she could not recover from that."

Elizabeth did not want to take long to make her decision. She went for a walk to put her thoughts together. Emma's past was very depressing. The fact that Darcy gave her equal importance in raising the child made her even more uneasy.

As he says, if something happens to Lady Catherine, will I be able to live with the weight of not allowing them to meet. But what if we put Emma in danger? Will Lady Catherine hurt her?

She walked for half an hour and made up her mind. She met Darcy in his study.

"I have made up my mind." She said earnestly.

Darcy looked at her with anticipation.

"Let us go to Rosings. I mean, all of us with Emma."

"Elizabeth, I know you have taken your time. Are you absolutely certain?"

"Yes. I just want one assurance in this matter. If at all at some point we feel that things are uncomfortable or stressful for Emma, we must leave."

"I assure you, that I have the same intention. Do not worry."

"We have the herculean task of explaining things to Emma."

"I understand. We will do it together."

They broke the news to Georgiana first.

"Lizzy, I am worried. How will Emma understand that she is her grandmother all of a sudden." Georgiana said with worry.

"We can explain it to her. Do not worry. She will be all right." Elizabeth said confidently, knowing well that it was going to be difficult.

Darcy and Elizabeth spoke to Emma about their trip to Kent.

"But Libby, why has grandmother not come to see me? I have many dolls to show her." Emma said innocently.

"She has been unwell. She wants to see you now. Would you like to travel to see her?"

"Are we going in the big carriage?" She asked with excitement.

"Of course." Darcy said.

Elizabeth and Darcy were a little worried to see the excitement on her face. It added more pressure to the uncertainty of the situation.

There was a lot of planning to be done for the trip. They were to leave in a couple of days.

"Elizabeth, would you like to visit Hertfordshire before we go to Kent?"

"I would love that, but won't it delay our purpose?"

"We can stop for a day. It wouldn't hurt our plans. I know you would like to see your sisters, especially Jane."

Elizabeth was happy. She beamed with pride at his concern for her happiness. Darcy wrote to Mr Bingley and Richard regarding his plans. Elizabeth was busy preparing for the trip. She spent a lot of time with Mrs Reynolds, discussing the things to be taken care of during her absence.

In a short period, she had taken up all the responsibilities of the house as the mistress. Darcy had given her complete freedom to make changes and take decisions. She realised she was going to miss the time away from Derbyshire.

In a couple of days, everything was arranged.

"I do not think I can sleep tonight." Elizabeth said to Darcy, lying next to him.

"Well! You have to, my dear. We have a long journey ahead of us."

She lay awake for a long time. Somehow, she was anxious and troubled.

The next day, they started from Pemberley early in the morning.

Emma was very excited about the journey. She sat on Elizabeth's lap happily. Darcy and Elizabeth had a million thoughts running in their mind. But they kept themselves composed. Both fervently hoped that they had taken the correct decision in travelling to Kent. Ironically, they were unaware that their travel back home would be very different.