'*gurgle...Venom can act as a mask for you; why are you putting cloth on your face?'
"Let's just say that it's to help sell the illusion. It's impressive that you can mimic the look of Spider-Girl's suit, but not the feeling of the fabric itself."
'...*gurgle*...'
"Not that it's necessary...just the look will be enough for our purposes."
'If you insist…*gurgle*...'
"Trust me, it may be necessary for me to partially remove my mask, so I'd rather not have people freak out when you do your whole 'alien goo thing'."
'Why does that *gurgle* matter?'
"...I guess that's another human thing."
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
Welp, someone better pick up that phone, cuz I'd freaking called it!
So, throughout all of Sunday, I was thinking about the discovery that Jen, one of my classmates (who apparently hated my guts because I dared to have a crush on the same boy she did) had spontaneously developed spider-powers like what I had. And she effortlessly took down one of my rogues' gallery. And the press seemed to like her more than me as well if all the "new & improved" headlines were anything to go by.
...so what if I am jealous? I think I've earned the right under these circumstances.
Anyway, on the console of both my mom and my friends, I laid low (a distracted hero does not a safer city make) until school the next day, where the plan was to subtly give Jen Nikos the message that "Spider-Girl" wants to meet her later to touch base and compare notes.
There was just one, tiny problem I hadn't accounted for…
"What the H E double hockey sticks is going on here?" I asked as Kara, Arryn, and I tried to make it to our first class of the day, only to be stopped by an almost entirely solid mass of students blocking our way.
"Apparently you were the last person to learn about Jennifer's 'secret identity'," Kara explained, "She and I arrived concurrently, and she wasted no time in proclaiming that, yes, she was the Amazing Spider-Woman. Everyone else started swarming her immediately after that."
Like Tse-Tse flies on elephant dung…
"I felt it was prudent to wait for the two of you, so I stepped back before the mob osmosed me."
"Smart call."
"At the risk of belittling how inherently incredible someone getting superpowers is," Arryn interjected, "do people here really have nothing better to do than fawn over the popular chick?"
In a moment of perfect timing said popular chick jumped onto the ceiling and stuck there, the gathered throng of students erupting into thunderous applause.
"...any other questions you'd like to ask?" I asked, giving Arryn a Look™️ while trying to think of a calm, blue ocean.
To her credit, she at least had the good graces to sheepishly rub the back of her head under my squint.
"I pity the poor teacher who has to deal with this," Kara remarked, "If we can't find a way around this crowd, we'll be late for class."
"Man, having a secret identity wouldn't suck so bad if I wasn't staring right at the perfect example otherwise," I sighed. For real though, it was like looking at a funhouse mirror, only it showed me a 'what if?' scenario instead of distorted my image. (I think there might have been a book like that as well? Arryn'd probably know, cuz she's a nerd like that.)
Also, you all know what 'Murphy's Law' is, right?
Well, 3...2...1…
"Oh, Lindsay?~" came an overly perky voice from directly above me, causing me to cringe internally, "Your mother is a brilliant scientist, right? That's what the scuttlebutt is, anyway, but I figured I should probably get confirmation from the source."
Oh hai there, Spotlight! Been a while since you last shined my way. Can't really say I missed you.
"She majored in biochemistry," I explained, "with a minor in engineering. She's currently between projects right now." This was info already on public record, so it's not like I was giving away anything secret by playing hype squad for my mom. "Though she has worked for-"
"I'm sure that's all fascinating," Jen interrupted, now hanging upside down in front of me, "but a simple yes or no would have sufficed, sweetie~."
CALM BLUE OCEAN, CALM BLUE OCEAN…!
"I asked because I was thinking of commissioning some equipment from her to help me as Spider-Woman. As versatile as my webs are, there are some things that physics just won't permit that I'd like to account for."
Oh, yeah, LIKE I DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW THAT ABOUT MY OWN POWERS OR ANYTHING!
Also, what's the sound of gnashing teeth sound like again? Asking for a friend.
"Aren't there other scientists you could go to?" Arryn wondered (oh yeah, I forgot my friends were still here for a sec.), "You know, ones who actually specialize in building stuff?" Then she glanced down at me. "No offense to your mom, Linds."
"None taken."
"Probably," Jen replied, "but I'd rather give this one some exposure. Who knows? Mrs. Rose might even get more lucrative grants if investors know she's the one behind a superhero's tech."
Ok, firstly, shows what you know about how the real world works, Miss Nikos. Second, my mom already knows about you, so she wouldn't help you out anyway!
"I'm sure Lindsay wouldn't mind relaying your message for you," Kara suddenly spoke up, "After all, Spider-Woman has to remain vigilant if she wants to continue keeping the city safe."
The only reason I wasn't glaring daggers at Kara right now is because she'd just dropped one of her signature "um, actually, dumbass" lines, the kind that seems like a good suggestion at first until you realized it should have been so blindingly obvious that she shouldn't have needed to tell you in the first place.
...most of them are usually reserved for me, shut up.
You know, on second thought-!
"You do make a good point," the Spider-Imposter agreed, "vigilance is key, after all." Then she addressed me again, "Would you be a dear and let your mother know that Spider-Woman wants to discuss a business arrangement?"
"...you know what, Jennifer-!" A sharp kick to my ankle from Kara kept me from voicing where I thought "Jenny on the block" should stick her business arrangement. "...that shouldn't be a problem."
"Perfect!~" She dropped to the floor. "I trust you'll let her know as soon as possible?"
"...sure."
"Then I'll bid you adieu for now." With that, she sauntered off, the newly formed mob of simps following right on her heels.
...GAWD do I want to punch that overly perfect-looking face of hers…!
"Hey, girls...what's going on?"
A wild Miles Arc appears.
"Jen Nikos getting a swelled head," Arryn supplied. Not untrue, per se. "apparently she got superpowers and is flaunting them all over the place."
...I'm not the only person who thought that sounded dirty, right?
"She also Shanghai'd Lindsay into being her personal currier."
"Under protest, I assure you," I added.
"Huh...well, best of luck with that, I guess?"
Not gonna lie, that made me feel much better than it probably should have.
However, not a moment after I thanked him, the bell rang.
Grapes! Gotta cut this narration short. Bbl!
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
OK, so school was...unremarkable, strangely enough. Obviously not counting the Jen stuff that kept happening throughout the day; she mostly just basked in the adulation from the other students (including some of the older grades), leaving me to my lonesome.
Not gonna lie, this would be the ideal situation for me if certain factors didn't prevent me from concentrating on...pretty much anything else all day.
Anyway, I said goodbye to Kara and Arryn, electing to take the bus back to my neighborhood instead of web-slinging. Mostly because I still wanted the real Spider-Girl to lay low for a bit longer, but also because I just needed some junk food to help take my mind off of the Jen problem, and apparently web-slinging "doesn't count as a vehicle, ma'am; please move along and let the other customers order", even though it totally should!
Also, mental note: talk to Mom about developing a gyroscopic pizza bag. (Long story…)
When I got to the WcDonald's (Four Guys just would feel right without my friends) I was once again prevented from just walking in and ordering my grub, thanks to a line that went out onto the curb, and a colorful poster declaring "Spicy Nuggs are back!" in large, friendly letters,
For real, the lengths some people will go to for their nuggs…
"Oh hey there, true believer! Did you hear about the spicy nuggets too?"
Why, if it isn't Stan the Man, small business owner and official Friend of Spider-Girl! I somehow serendipitously ended up just behind him in line.
"Hey, Stan. And nah, I just came here in a lark."
"Then you'd better be careful; I hear birds really like the breading they use on the chicken nuggets here."
...that was so corny that I couldn't help but snicker.
"But yeah, I just needed a little pick me up after school today. Tl;dr, one of my classmates was showing off and I found it annoying." I'd normally go into some more detail, but we were in a public venue and I didn't need to hear anything else about "the new and improved Spider-Woman" right now. "But that's pretty much the worst of it. Plus, I was feeling peckish."
"That's a fair point," Stan conceded. "Might I recommend the spicy chicken nuggets? I hear they go great with refreshing soda pop!"
"...they didn't pay you to stand out here and advertise, did they?"
"Nope!" he said, popping the P sound, "I just thought you'd appreciate the culinary synergy."
...yeah, they paid him.
"I guess I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, Stan."
"Anytime, Kiddo!" He flashed me a thumbs up, giving a friendly wink along with it behind the aviator shades he wore.
To be honest, I was planning on trying the nuggs anyway, cuz I mean why the heck not? Unlike some cowards (cough Arryn cough Kara cough cough) I'm not afraid of a little heat in my-
A small fireball suddenly exploded on the street next to the line, a familiar crazy person flying by a moment later using her feet as jets of fire.
Aw grapes...I was actually starting to look forward to my nuggs…
"Buy an extra serving for me!" I hurriedly told Stan, fumbling around in my pockets before thrusting a 5 dollar bill into his hands, ducking out of the line and into a nearby alley. I wasn't planning on reactivating my commission (so to speak) so soon, but I also wasn't gonna let a bunch of innocent people with a completely understandable craving for fast food get hurt by one of Hot Stuff's rampages.
30 seconds later I was in costume, swinging after the thief turned pyromaniac.
"I know the expression is to 'set the town on fire', but I'm like 99% sure that it isn't supposed to be taken literally!" I called to the psycho before she decided to divebomb an ice cream truck with some younger kids clustered around it.
OK, now that was just mean.
"How'd you get out of the klink, anyway? I wasn't aware they let psychos out on parole."
Once again, I was ignored. Granted, she wasn't the biggest talker when I first dealt with her, but it still hurt my feelings to be outright ignored like this. I'm a sensitive girl you know.
SHUT UP, I am too!
Anyway, the longer I followed her the more I began to realize something: none of the fire she was throwing around actually seemed to do any damage. Lampposts, billboards, Bimmy (Jimmy's cousin on the other side of the building), none of them ever had any scoring or burn marks on them when the fire dissipated.
Something about this was smelling mighty fishy, though that might have been because we just made it to the marina.
"You know, I can probably forget about the fire thing, but the 'being a public nuisance' thing is a little harder to ignore; why don't we pull up a crate and talk this out?"
Her response was to abruptly turn around and lob some fire in my direction. I contorted my body to the side on reflex before I attempted to yank myself closer to her for a little fist to face conversation.
And I gotta say, the pieces of this puzzle were starting to form up. When I originally fought Hot Stuff way back when, she absolutely would have attempted to punch me right back, but this girl shot herself backward out of the way of my punch before it connected, and kept doing that every time I got close.
Which, as you might imagine, was super annoying.
What was even more annoying was when I suddenly swung into a giant web that just sprung to life right in front of me, nearly giving me whiplash.
And while I was recovering from my sudden stop, the chick I was less and less convinced was actually Hot Stuff flew back into the city, disappearing in between the buildings after a moment.
Well, grapes.
"What are you doing here, imposter?" a familiar voice said from above me. When I looked up I was met my own mask- or rather, the mask that Jen Nikos wore to pretend to be Spider-Woman.
...ok, on second thought, maybe I should rebrand myself. "Spider-Woman" just sounds more respectable than-
Focus! Worry about your optics later, Linds.
"Uh...chasing the bad guy?" I answered, readjusting my position to a more stable perch, "You know, my job?"
"I think you mean my job," she countered, dropping a little closer to my position on the web, "In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a more effective hero than you were, so why don't you go back to your hovel or wherever you came from and let me actually get results!"
"Um, actually, trapdoor spiders are the only arachnids who-"
The only reason I was able to dodge the web line she shot at me was that I saw her winding up for it; my Spider-Sense didn't pick up anything.
"OK, RUDE."
"You aren't wanted anymore, Spider-Girl-" Yeah, defo rebranding myself. "-you're childish, reckless, and you remind me too much of someone who regularly gets on my nerves." Then she paused for a moment. "...so I'll give you fair warning that if you don't back down willingly, I'll have no qualms about doing things the hard way."
...did I just see her suit ripple when she said that last bit?
Whatever, that's a Future Me problem. What Present Me needed to worry about was how serious her tone sounded; her mask wasn't as expressive as mine was (it was made of Science, ftr), so that and her general body language was all I really had to get a read on her with.
And what I saw right now told me that she was itching for a fight.
"Well, what's it going to be?"
"Hmm…" I made a show of rubbing my chin as I scanned the immediate area for something I could use to distract the incredible Spider-Jen with so I could bravely make a tactical retreat to advance towards future victory. Let's see here...shipping crates, buildings...there were some forklifts a catered around, but there were too far away to be effective. And that without explosives there was zero chance of toppling any of the shipping cranes over.
That said, their hooks (and the lines they were attached to were much easier to manipulate. I just need to time this right…
"Before I give my answer, I've got a question for you, Spider-Woman." See? Two can play at that game. "What has feathers, floats in water, and weighs the same as a witch?"
I mentally chuckled as she physically did a double-take. "...a duck?"
...ok, one point of respect for getting my obscure reference.
"Yup!" I said, shooting a special web I had prepared at her. She dodged it, of course, but Little Miss Perfect wasn't my target; I was actually aiming at the power box on the crane that controlled the winch motor. Thanks to my doppelgänger from another world, Mom was able to make it so my webs could hold an electrical charge, but not for very long. Good for tasing the baddies, and for shorting out electronics.
And guess what the crane used to make the winch hold the line in place?
If you said electricity, then congratulations, you get a gold star.
And speaking of gold stars, I should get one for how on point my web shot was; it hit the control box square in the middle, causing a tiny explosion of sparks as the mechanisms of the winch got fried, sending the weighty hunk of metal known as the hook plummeting down.
And guess who was right underneath said hook?
Awesome: two gold stars!
Of course, I wasn't actually trying to hurt her with this little stunt, and I breathed a little sigh of relief when she leaped out of the way before the hook crushed her, which was my cue to leap in the opposite direction, making like a surprise tropical vacation and booking it before she realized what was going on.
Yeah, I think I'm gonna need to call in the other Heroes to help me deal with this crazy. I'm just glad she hasn't connected Spider-Girl with little old Lindsay Rose-
My Spider-Sense suddenly went crazy, and I only just twisted out of the way before an I-beam nearly took my head off. "Whoa!"
...something tells me Spider-Jen didn't really appreciate being nearly flattened by a crane hook.
"Look, I'm sorry!" I called back, "But in my defense-!"
"How dare you pull something so underhanded on me!" she shouted back, not letting me finish my thought. A brief look behind me found "me, but stronger" hot on my tail, and steadily gaining ground. Er, air, rather.
Also, I thought I saw that weird ripple effect from her suit again.
Ngl, I have a bad feeling about that…
I managed to get to a reasonably populated part of the Mistral district when I was sent sprawling from a kick to my back- which, again, my Spider-Sense didn't register- though I was thankfully able to catch myself on a lamppost before I hit pavement.
Which I then jumped off of to avoid getting kicked by Jen in an admittedly well-done gymnastics move where she spun around the arm that stuck out from the post.
Didn't stop me from not wanting to get hit, though.
"Um...it's just a prank, bro?"
Yeah, cuz that excuse always works…
"I'd hardly call attempted murder a prank," she responded, "This just further proves how immature you are...why I'm the superior Hero!"
Against my better judgment, I quipped "You ever think that getting superpowers might have given you a swelled head to boot?"
Judging by the waves of hatred I felt emanating from her, I'd say she took some offense to that statement.
"I'll show you what a swelled head looks like!" she shouted, leaping right towards me.
What followed was about five minutes of me trying to dodge her attacks to the best of my ability without my Spider-Sense, occasionally trying to break up her assault on me so I could try to subdue her and call for backup.
Cuz lemme tell ya, I've just developed a mad respect for the normal people who practice martial arts.
"Can't we just talk about-" I ducked under a left hook. "-this? We could get a table at Four-" I leaped over a leg sweep. "-Guys, order some loaded cheese fries, and talk about our feelings?"
"We're past that point!" She suddenly did a backflip, knocking me in the chin. "And Four Guys in a terrible restaurant, for the record."
GASP! SHE DID NOT JUST…!
"Them's fighting words, missy!" Nobody disses Four Guys when I'm around! I somehow managed to launch my own assault on the heathen that dared besmirch the good name of Four Guys, actually taking the lead in this fight for the first time since it started.
...I may have a bit of a complex about food, I'll admit it, but considering what happened to me and what I do with my life I think I'm entitled to at least this much.
Regardless, I eventually got a lucky hit in sending Spider-Jen staggering back. I wasted no time in webbing her up, sticking her to the very same lamppost we landed on before.
"Now be a good girl and sit tight for a second, I need to make a quick call." With any luck, she'd be smart and let me call TQ so she could come and pick Jenny of the Block up.
However…apparently Jen took might instructions to mean a literal second, since she, with some effort, ripped herself out of my webs.
That wasn't supposed to happen…
Meep.
"We're so tired of your meddling in things that don't concern you, Rose!" she growled as she started stomping towards- ...wait a second, she just said "Rose". Not "imposter", not "Spider-Girl", not "insect", and certainly not "arachnid" (cuz people apparently forget those are a thing for some reason…). She'd said "Rose". You know, my name?
Double meep!
"You've been vexing us for far too long now...all you had to do was stay in the shadows and not get in our way…!"
Also, her suit was rippling again
I think "Meep on a stick!" is just understood at this point.
Also, a lot of things suddenly started making sense: my Spider-Sense not picking anything up from her, the sudden superpowers just like mine, the fact that I stopped feeling daggers being glared into my back at school for a while now (that only just dawned on me)...
I'd encountered this exact thing (minus the daggers) before.
"...Jen, what happened to you?"
"We got stronger," she said, and is anyone else creeped out by her saying "we" instead of "I"? I can't be the only one here. "And we realized that you are the source of all our problems...and how easily we can squash you, now…!~"
Aaaaaaaaaaand that's my cue to leave. Feet, get moving!
…
Feet, why aren't you moving?
I looked down briefly to troubleshoot why I wasn't getting the H E double hockey sticks outta dodge and saw that a familiar-looking black goo holding my boots in place.
Aw grapes, that pretty much confirms it: Jennifer Nikos has a Grimmbiote…not to mention my boots were kinda stuck to the rest of my suit, and she had a personal vendetta against me, which is a combination of elements I wish didn't exist at the same time.
Let's see if I can get out of this one gracefully…
"You know what?" I said as she stalked closer to me, "You win! Congratulations, you beat me fair and square; you can take all the glory and whatnot, I won't try to stop you."
Not my proudest moment, but I'm kinda stuck between a rock and a Jen place; I'm not really at my A game right now.
"I promise you won't even know I'm there anymore!"
"Oh, we can make sure of that…"
Um...I need an adult?
Jen stopped before she actually reached me, suddenly shooting me with a gooey, black web line and yanking me forward.
Right into her waiting fist.
Unrelated, but OW!
And OW! again as she did that three more times, letting the final hit send me flying into a nearby garbage truck that was making its rounds. (Thankfully, my skull softened the impact against the trash.) I probably startled the poor municipal workers who were just doing their job, but my head was swimming, so I didn't really notice.
But what little reprieve this offered didn't last; Jen yoinked herself over to me and pulled me out of the trash before leaping atop the truck and holding me up by my neck.
Thank God I was wearing a mask, cuz no one needs to see what my face looks like in oxygen deprivation.
"This is the last time you'll ever be a bother to us, Lindsay Rose!" she declared, "Any last words…?"
In a perfect world, I would have warned her about giving me too much power, because witty quips are kinda my thing, along with stylish thwips. I'd have also preferred she didn't use my real name in a public area, but thankfully everyone in this part of suburbia had the good sense to stay indoors while the two super-powered teens were having their little spat. But such is life, and neither of those wishes were going to come true any time soon.
I could feel my consciousness slowly slipping away from the whole "not breathing" thing, so if I wanted to continue to be the city's Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Girl, I needed to think of something fast. Not that I really had much to work with: Jen was clearly strong enough to break out of my webs, and she'd dodged my shock webs pretty easily before. Not that I could really aim properly with her squeezing my throat like-
…
You ever have those "Mom is totally going to kill me for trying this, but I don't really have the luxury of not attempting it" moments? Cuz I just had a really stupid idea that would probably hurt me just as much as it would Jen, but it was the only way I could currently think to get her to release my windpipes. I silently hoped this wouldn't destroy my suit as I quickly punched the part of my belt where the shock charge was wired, before lazily resting a hand on Jen's arm. (Side note, she doesn't skip Arm Day.) Then, looking her right in the eye, I did my best impression of a line I heard in a cheesy movie once a second before I activated my shock webs.
"...hey.~"
The next second saw blue arcs of electricity surging over both of us, causing our bodies to convulse and spasm uncontrollably. The good news is that this made her let go of my throat so I could breathe again. ...the bad is that I was still suspended in the air when she let go.
Unrelated, but asphalt is really uncomfortable to land on, lemme tell you!
But, I would remain alive for a bit longer, so I could stand a little discomfort in the short term, and I wasn't going to waste it lying around in the middle of the road waiting for Jen to regain her faculties. I immediately crawled under the garbage truck and, after going Smol, opted up into the undercarriage (which was absolutely filthy, for the record; doesn't the city spring for the full package when they have these things washed?) to wait for Jen to leave. Hopefully, she wouldn't realize what my brilliant plan was and think I'd run off. I could hold my breath for a while thanks to circular breathing, but I wasn't keen on finding out what someone with the proportional strength of a spider could do to someone the actual size of an ant.
I saw her land at the spot where I'd dropped a minute later, and I could swear I heard her muttering to herself before leaving a few moments later.
I refrained from sighing in relief for just a bit longer until I was sure she was gone before hopping back into the open and returning to normal size, and now that I wasn't fearing for my life I could actually take stock of my situation. I was exhausted from basically fighting my mirror image, sore from both the beating I took and the impromptu shock therapy, and that had either fried my remaining web fluid reserves or fused part of the firing mechanism, so I was without my primary means of transportation. Not to mention I was still hungry from not getting any nuggs earlier thanks to the increasingly sus Hot Stuff imposter, and I was all the way in the Mistral district suburbs far away from my home in the Vale burbs.
However, I did know someone who lived out here, so I think it's finally time to take them up on their offer to stay over.
I just hope she remembered to keep the Emergency Food Supplied stocked...
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
"...I don't think watching you 'feed' will ever not be disgusting…"
'*gurgle*...it is necessary...you require sustenance as well, yes?...'
"Yes...but I don't usually shove whole meals down my mouth all at once like you do. At least...do you even have a mouth? It's rather hard for me to tell."
'When it is…*gurgle*...required. Otherwise, I simply absorb my nutrients…'
"Well, it's still unsettling...especially when you spit out the clothes and jewelry afterward."
'They are, *gurgle*...inorganic.'
"In any case, I suppose it can't be helped. Now...Miss Katherine Sustrai...I believe you and I were discussing a business arrangement…?"
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
Well well, things are actually starting to get interesting for Lindsay Rose, aren't they? I wonder how she'll figure this one out?
Anywho, fav, follow, Review, y'all know the drill. And as always, stay safe, be Excellent to each other. (I'll start working on the next chapter of Spider-Ruby in a bit, I've got a couple other ideas I need to get out of my system first.)