Penny spent the rest of the day in the Hospital Wing, unable to face lessons with too many thoughts rushing round. Madam Pomfrey had sat with her for some time, Penny alone speaking as the matron's Occlumency was poor. The matron had been intrigued by Penny's gift, the dark haired witch answering some of the questions running through the matron's mind. Penny tried to suppress her irritation with the questions, partly as hopes of it helping with her evening lesson with Snape, and partly as leverage for Musculus Relaxat and chocolate goodies. Mostly however, Penny tried to clear her mind as best she could. She knew what Dumbledore had said about emotions was probably accurate, as she had always found people easiest to read when they were emotional.
At about midday the matron was peeved to find a tawny owl perched on Penny's hospital bed, having delivered a letter to the messy haired witch. Juno watched the owl intently, hissing in displeasure as Penny declined her request to eat it. Unfolding the letter Penny read the messy writing.
"Wotcha Penny,
I thought we would never hear from you, thought Auntie Snob had gotten into your head. Anyways, Mum is writing to Dumbledore to see if he can help us get you here for the Easter Hols right under Aunt Snob's nose, if you are game.
Would be ace to meet you, sure Mum will be full of annoying questions, and hopefully some answers too. Should see you in a few days if all goes well!
Tonks
PS: Be sure to scrub your shoes before you leave, Mum is rather precious about her carpet!"
Penny stared at letter in amused disbelief. A bubble of guilt forming in her gut at the thought of deceiving Narcissa, tangled in with a delicious coil of excitement. She smiled to herself before she felt a familiar presence approaching the Hospital Wing.
"Madam Pomfrey" Penny called, as the matron appeared quickly as Penny gestured towards the door as Harry appeared in it. Crossing rapidly to the threshold the matron stood blocking his advance.
"Are you unwell Potter?" Madam Pomfrey asked sharply.
"No I.." Harry began before being cut off.
"Then I request you leave me to treat my patient" Madam Pomfrey snapped trying to usher Harry out but the boy stood firm.
"I want to see Penny." He said looking past the matron at Penny who took a sudden intense interest in Juno's orange scales, running her fingertips along the spots on the otherwise white serpent. "I just want to know she's ok." Harry said, a note of desperation in his voice that made Penny flinch.
"She is perfectly healthy, she is simply struggling to block other people's minds from her own. The best thing you can do for her is leave." The matron said bluntly although in a softer tone than before, Penny blinked as his hurt and sadness washed over her. Focusing Penny pushed his thoughts from her mind with difficulty as he spoke.
"Ok." He said, sounding so much younger than usual. Without thinking Penny glanced up, meeting his green eyes where his hurt pierced through her defence, throbbing into her mind in the moment before he turned away and walked out of sight.
A couple hours later Penny vaguely sensed another familiar presence made her look up from the book she was reading, as Draco walked down the Hospital Wing.
"It's ok Madam Pomfrey" Penny reassured the matron as the nurse crossed the ward to cut him off. "He is vastly better at controlling his emotions than Potter." She replied to the matron's sceptical thoughts "I can't avoid everyone forever can I?" With a reluctant nod, the matron resumed her rounds cleaning around the beds in preparation for future patients.
"So it's true then?" Draco asked as he warily perched on the bed beside Juno. Raising an eyebrow Penny saw Harry's face flashed behind Draco's eyes, a blend of dislike and protectiveness running through it. Unworthy….Famous Potter…Touching my cousin.
"This has nothing to do with Potter." Penny said quietly as Draco scoffed, his mind recoiling from her mental touch. "An entirely separate issue." Penny reassured her cousin who gave her a sideways look. Penny frowned as she saw Ginny's face with a confusing concoction of emotions.
"What about Ginny?" Penny asked as her head began hurting, even Draco was thinking too much. Focusing again she dragged herself away from her cousin's mind. Relaxing at her absent touch Draco fiddled with his sleeve, watching the matron disappear into her office as he gave his cousin a calculating look.
"I know you and Ginny were dating." He said so fast Penny almost missed it. Penny froze staring at Draco before lunging for her wand, but the Seeker beat her to it and snatched it out of her reach. Leaping to their feet Draco held her wand aloft, his distracted glance towards the office costing him dearly as a sharp pain jolted through his testicles when Penny jutted her knee northward. Stifling a yelp Draco briefly crumbled in pain, he defensively turned his back towards her, one hand clutching his throbbing crotch, the other still stretched over his head. Infuriated Penny leapt on his back, pounding him with blows to the top of his blonde locks as they continued their relatively silent scuffle.
"Give. Me. My. Wand." Penny hissed quietly, reinforcing each word with a whack to the head as she tried to vainly force his arm to bend. Where was her accidental magic when she needed it? She thought exasperatedly.
"No. Chance. In. Hell." Draco grunted back as he twisted rapidly, forcing his arm underneath the witch, his Quidditch muscle tossing her off him. Landing with an undignified flop Penny glanced up to see Draco raise her wand. "Petrificus totalus!" He whispered flicking it at Penny's furious face. Penny felt her body tense before immediately relaxing again. She glanced down before looking across at her cousin, whose surprised face matched her own. Recovering Penny lunged at her cousin, body slamming him as hard as possible, making the tall boy stagger. Snatching at her wand Draco yanked it away again as his grey eyes met blue. Touching his mind Penny felt him stiffen, before she mentally brushed along his neurotransmitters, pleased as one made his wrist spasm releasing her wand. Withdrawing Penny quickly snatched up her wand, surprised when Draco stayed where he was as if frozen. Backing up a couple of steps Penny raised her wand, stopping short as she saw Draco expression. Staring at her intensely Penny was shocked to see such a look of betrayal on the blonde wizard's face, exceeding even that of Potter's feeling of hurt.
"What?" She asked as his face contorted. Why is he looking at me like that? Penny thought as she watched him, scanning his face for any damage her Legilimens might have done. Draco didn't answer but looked at the ground instead. "How did you know?" Penny demanded, making Draco frown in puzzlement for a moment before remembering why they had fought in the first place.
"The way you reacted when you realised I…when you thought I liked her." Draco said coldly, still not looking at her. "And I saw the way you reacted to the Veela. You obviously have a bit of a thing for girls." He said shrugging slightly. Penny continued watching him, finding his continued staring at the ground unreasonably annoying.
"Well if you tell anyone I will let Narcissa know about your collection of Enchanting Europeans magazines, not sure she would approve of the advice about 'wielding your wand' " Penny said prodding his chest with her wand and sniggering meanly as Draco huffed indignantly his grey eyes lifting to glare at his cousin.
"It was you that stole my Hand of Glory!" He accused crossly as Penny smirked.
"Borrowed." Penny said mischievously, not lowering her wand.
"Stole." Draco retorted sulkily his eyes reverting back to the ground defiantly. "Besides my father gave me those magazines" He said defensively even as patches of pink stained his pale cheeks. "And don't you think if I was going to say anything I already would have?" He said, a note of wounded pride in his voice as he still stared at the ground. Penny lowered her wand, considering him suspiciously.
"Why do you keep looking at the ground?" Penny asked.
"You got inside my head" Draco said quietly as though this explained it.
"So?" Penny said pocketing her wand as Draco scowled.
"So it is not right." He said meeting her eyes once again before correcting himself and staring at the floor.
"The amount of times I have hexed you and me editing your mind is what bothers you?" Penny said in disbelief raising an eyebrow as his anger washed over her. He continued to stare at the floor again as Penny caught one word in his mind: Violated. A rush of emotions ran through her at the connotations of the word, disgust bubbling in her gut looking away from the blonde's hurt face with a sense of shame. "Fine." She said slowly and deliberately looking back at her cousin. "You keep your mouth shut, I keep your mind shut, deal?" Penny said offering her right hand. Draco look startled briefly before he sneered slightly at the gesture but shook it none the less.
"I promise I will not tell anyone you are a dyke" Draco said his sneer lacking venom even as Penny narrowed her eyes at him.
"I promise to stay out your head as best I can" Penny said as they shook.
The rest of the day past without much event after Draco had left. Penny had replied to Tonks note confirming her intent to visit during Easter, trying hard to suppress the bubble of guilt as she thought of her aunt and cousin's faces when they realised she was gone. Not her fault, Penny thought even as her guts twisted, she wasn't their property.
As the evening wore on Penny made her way down to the dungeon, leaving Juno to wonder freely. She took a couple secret passageways to avoid other pupils. Reaching Snape's office Penny knocked twice, entering when instructed to do so. Snape was sat at his desk, his office walls full of shelves of the usual jars. The dark professor sat at his desk, regarding her closely as she closed the door.
"Miss Black." He acknowledged, gesturing the chair opposite his desk.
"Professor." She replied stiffly, eying the professor warily as she sat gingerly, as usual greeted with silence from his mind.
"What do you know about Occlumency?" Snape asked the young witch, who paused before answering.
"Not a lot." Penny admitted reluctantly. "I know it's the usual way to prevent others reading your mind." The dark haired witch raised an eyebrow as a flicker of irritation crossed the Professor's face.
"Only a Muggle would speak of mind reading." He replied curtly as Penny scowled at his derogatory tone. "The mind is far more complex than a long list of thoughts etched on the inside of a person's skull." He finished condescendingly as Penny's scowl deepened.
"I know that." Penny snapped "Professor." She added quickly at Snape's warning look. "I know most people don't think in words most of the time" She went on "It is usually a mix of emotions, images and body language. But it's still reading people." Penny insisted stubbornly as Snape's lip curled in amusement.
"You are correct in the sense Occlumency is the art of closing your mind, to counteract the use of Legilimency, the art of penetrating another's mind." Snape explained slowly. "Your particular case is unusual, we believe that your mind instinctively penetrates the minds of those around you, forging a connection that both allows you to sense their thoughts and emotions, but also pushing your own thoughts and emotions into the minds of others." Snape continued, drawing out his wand. Penny eyed his wand apprehensively, her own hand absentmindedly reaching into her pocket. "By learning Occlumency, it is hoped to guard your mind from forming this connection." He finished rising from his seat and drawing a large silver basin from a draw on his desk.
"That is Dumbledore's" Penny thought out loud as he placed it on the desk, silently putting his wand to his temple. Penny stared as he pulled it away, a silver thread forming before he cast it into the dish. Penny watched fascinated as it swirled as Snape added a few extra silvery strings, twirling the contents rapidly until they became impossible to distinguish. "What is it?" Penny said mesmerised, resisting the urge to prod the contents with her own wand. Snape regarded her wide eyed intrigue thoughtfully.
"It is called a Pensieve." He said finally. "It is an ancient instrument that allows one to store one's thoughts outside of one's own mind." He explained as Penny looked at him curiously.
"Worried I might get in your mind sir?" Penny asked, a small smirk forming on her lips. Snape didn't reply, simply looked at her sullenly as her smirk grew. "What if there are some things I don't want you to see?" Penny said suddenly, her smile vanishing. Snape's lip curled in an amusement as he looked down as her.
"I doubt I would be concerned by the thoughts of a thirteen year old girl." He sneered at Penny who flushed with rage. "Stand opposite from me." He instructed gesturing across the office from him. Penny glared at the professor before reluctantly stomping to stand opposite him. Glancing at his now raised wand, Penny felt a shot of adrenaline pulse through her as she abruptly remembered what was about to happen. "Now focus. Clear your mind." Snape instructed. Penny's eyes darted back to the professor's wand as she rapidly tried to calm herself.
"Legilimens!" Snape said. The office dissolved around her as Penny felt her mind being forced open, images flashing rapidly through her mind. She was in the tree roots with Harry, his profession of love making her heart race… she was dancing with Draco at the Yule Ball her own joyful laughter filling her ears… she was in the classroom with Ginny, her heart ripping in two…
NO. Penny thought fiercely, That's enough. She thought, with an effort forcefully pushing the Professor from her mind. As the classroom came back into focus, Penny took a step backwards, panting hard as if she had run up half the staircases in Hogwarts. Professor Snape stood opposite her, lowering his wand as he looked at her, a slight sneer forming on his lip.
"Just like his father" Snape sneered, his cruel amusement enraging Penny. "Not bad for a first attempt." He said "You managed to force me out fairly well once you actually tried; but you let me see far too much. Don't be sentimental, weak like Potter." Snape said as Penny got her breath back.
"Harry is not weak." Penny snapped scowling, looking away from the dark Professor as his sneer deepened. Penny shut her eyes tightly as she rubbed her temple, trying to suppress the wave of emotions coursing through her. Calm, she thought desperately, calm. Feel nothing, she told herself, even as her thoughts wondered to Ginny, her gut giving an uncomfortable squirm as she wondered how much the Professor had seen.
"Again." Snape said impatiently after a minute, raising his wand. A flicker of irritation ran through Penny as she faced him, bracing herself for his invasion. "Legilimens!" Once again images started racing through her mind. Climbing out the window at Malfoy Manor….Walking through the streets of Hackney, sirens blaring in the distance…
Out. Penny thought. Get out. As she began to focus on removing him from her mind another image flashed up in her mind. The Muggle from the summer, slumped against the floor his glazed over eyes staring into her soul. Penny gasped, losing her mental grip as Snape pushed further into her mind forcing more images to the surface. The Muggle was leering at her, his yellow teeth making her feel nauseous…She was on the floor screaming as the Muggle pinned her by his knee, his hand wondering up her top…
Suddenly Penny felt Snape withdraw from her mind, her knees gave way as she dropped to the floor, her trembling hands clutching her damp face. After a moment she dared look up at the Potions Master, whose usual pale face looked sickly, disgust etched all over his face. When he spoke, it sounded like he was desperately attempting to sound indifferent despite his clearly struggling expression.
"You lost control." He said quietly. "You were nearly successful in resisting me, but you allowed yourself to react. Whatever you see, you must not allow your emotions to distract you. Master yourself." He said callously. "Get up. We go again." He said brandishing his wand. Penny looked at him in horror.
"No." She said in a shaky voice, staggering to her feet.
"Prepare yourself." He said pointing his wand at her mutinous face.
"NO." Penny said more forcefully taking a step back as her hand plunged into her pocket.
"Legilimens" Snape said flicking his wand towards her. The office swam before her as the images flickered faster than ever behind her eyes….she was in the Chamber as Tom's Riddle's eyes meet her own…she was nine and Jordan Miller's nose shattered as he furiously chased her down the corridor as she ran with his Acorn Micro Model…she was five her Nana sinking to the floor clutching her chest as books zoomed around above their heads….
"NOOO!" Penny heard herself scream, feeling Snape being flung from her mind as the Professor himself flew backwards across the classroom, shattering several jars as he hit the opposite wall. Shaking from head to foot Penny glared at him as he staggered to his feet, his face white with rage.
"Control yourself." He spat as jars around him began shattering. Penny's wet eyes flashed dangerously and before she knew it she lunged at her Head of House, her wand twirling rapidly through the air. Her curse whipped across the air, a horrendous boom echoing as he deflected it. Undeterred Penny slashed her wand repeatedly, more and more jars smashing as he deflected them. Shelves began cracking all around the office floor but the dark haired Professor did not flinch once even as he staggered under the sheer force of her spells. Raising her wand over her head Penny spun her wand above her head, silver flames erupting from her wand tip. Quicker than Penny imagined possible Snape jerked his wand upwards under her guard, sending the small witch flying backwards slamming into the opposite wall before she landed heavily barely staying on her feet.
Sucking in air with difficulty Penny just had time to throw herself to the floor as a hex exploded on the wall above her, leaving an ugly stain in its wake. Rolling to the side Penny shot a spell at the Potions Master, rolling back again as his Shield Charm shot it straight back at her. Stumbling to her feet she raised her wand again only to feel her wrist wretched to the side by a sharp flick of his wand. A shot of pain ran through her wrist as it bent unnaturally far, making the tendons quiver under her skin. With an agonized gasp her fingers involuntarily slackened, her wand dropping to the floor with a clatter. As the long hair wizard released her wrist Penny dived for her wand, cursing as it slipped threw her fingers and shot across the room into Snape's outstretched hand. Looking her teacher straight in the face Penny felt herself stop breathing; the look on his face was quite terrible. Fury ran through every line on his bloodless face. His thin lips curled into a furious snarl as he raised his wand. Squeaking Penny threw herself underneath the pile of shelves that had piled up along the floor, crawling into it helplessly even as she heard the pile being blasted away behind her. Pressing up against the wall Penny hide her face with her arms as the last of the pile was forced away from her. Looking up at the furious Professor Penny, watched him fearfully shifting herself as far back as possible as she cowered away from him. Peering up at him Penny saw a pained expression fly across his face, gone as soon as it had come. Regardless his expression softened very slightly as he looked down at the small girl, his face contorting in disgust.
"Get up." He ordered, contempt in his voice as he lowered his wand. Penny eyed it warily, before her shining eyes returned to his face. "Up!" He barked turning away from the witch and making his way with difficulty to what remained of his desk. Standing gingerly Penny followed cautiously, her bluey green eyes flicking over the demolished office nervously. "Sit." He snapped as he sat on his chair, opening a low draw and pulling out a dusty bottle and with a sharp look at the shuddering dark haired witch, two glasses that chinked as he placed them on the desk. Penny watched silently as he poured a small measure into one glass, and decidedly more into his own before replacing the bottle in the draw. "Drink." He said sternly as he took a gulp of his own. Penny observed him closely before slowly taking her own glass and shakily putting it to her lips. Taking a small mouthful she flinched as it burned her throat, making its way down into her stomach. Her eyes wandered the destruction around her as she took another hasty gulp, placing the now empty glass on the table, her hand suddenly steady. Looking back at Snape Penny was met with empty black tunnels that studied her face silently without shame. Eventually he emptied his own glass placing it on the desk and leant across the desk meaningfully.
"You cannot lose control like this." He said quietly, in a tone that shocked Penny with its gentleness. "Your father used to take great pleasure in other's emotional pain, enjoyed forcing them to see whatever caused them the most emotional agony until they literally begged for death." He went on, his black eyes boring into Penny who watched him in transfixed horror. "With the power and gifts that you possess… sometimes it is easy to forget how young you actually are. Expecting you to have emotional control is asking a lot." He said a note of sympathy in his voice. "But you must." He insisted "Should the Dark Lord return he will use anything he can to hold power over you. You cannot afford to be weak. You must be stronger than this. Everything may depend on it." He finished as he stood, looking much older than Penny had ever seen him. "Clean up this mess, and we can forget this evening happened." He said his expression stern once more. Passing the young witch her wand, he paused before he let go, leaning down to whisper menacingly. "If you ever attempt to attack me again Miss Black, I assure you it shall be the last thing you ever do in this school." He whispered softly, the threat making Penny shudder away from him. Looking at the floor intensely Penny nodded.
"Yes sir." She answered as he released her wand.
"Good. You shall return here again tomorrow night. Remember," He said as he opened his office door carefully, its hinges barely withstanding the movement "Control your emotions. Discipline your mind." He finished before he swept out the office, leaving the dark haired witch to reconstruct the devastation around her.