Scarred Angel

by Ari's World

I looked into his dark brown eyes; I saw nothing but love and adoration. I've never seen that look before. I don't understand why he looks at me like that. Part of me believed he could do much better than me, and while everything in my being told me, I was nothing special. He helped me feel like I was.

10. Let Me Take Care Of You

Hey,

I hope everyone is staying safe. Thank you to those who have favored, followed, and reviewed you are my inspiration and I appreciate each and every one of you! I hope you guys liked Chapter 8. I'm excited for you to read Chapter 9, I wrote this chapter quickly because of all the lovely reviews and favorites I got from you guys! They made my heart sore! But, I hope you enjoy it!

I have posted Scarred Angel on Fanfiction, and Archive of our own as well. Enjoy!

Always and Forever,

Ari.

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, misuse of a bet, stress, emotional abuse, negative thoughts, and implying abusive sexual innuendos.

Disclaimer: I only own my OC's and parts of the plot you do not recognize from the Twilight Saga.

Chapter 9: Let Me Take Care Of You

"When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew."

― Arrigo Boito

9:49 a.m. Inside Chiago House, La Push, Washington

"You are sick, go back to bed," I grumbled, trying to get a hold of his controller. He pulled it away, glaring at me. "Jayden, don't make me get upset." I put my hands on my hips, tapping my foot impatiently.

"Don't make me-" He croaked, wagging his finger at me before he doubled over coughing. I grabbed his controller, taking advantage of his coughing fit. "Lary-"

I set it near the door, turning back to him helping him get settled back into bed. I tugged his blanket up to his chin, sitting on the edge of the bed. I pressed my hand against his forehead, frowning when I felt how warm he was. "Let me get you some medicine. Your body needs rest." I got up, grabbing his controller on the way out. I went to my room, hiding his controller under my pillow. I opened my cabinet, searching for the cold medicine. I smiled in triumph when I found it, ignoring the fact that I was going to have to fight him to take it. I stopped at the restroom, getting a damp rag. I opened his door, noticing his eyes fighting to stay open. "Here," I measured out the medicine, hoping he had matured since the last time I gave it to him. He sat up, taking it willingly, grimacing when he finished. I helped him lay back a small grin on my face since I didn't have to fight him. I set the rag on his forehead, stroking his cheek lightly. "Get some sleep, I'm going to go to the store." Jay nodded, closing his eyes allowing his body to relax into the bed.

I closed his door behind me, heading to my room to get dressed. I grabbed my phone, sending a quick text to my mom to let her know to call the school and let them know Jay was sick. I yawned into my hand, digging through my mountain of clothes pulling out jeans and a long sleeve. I yanked on my boots, grimacing at the downpour. I picked up my phone when it started to ring. Without looking to see who was calling, I answered it pushing it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Get to school. We need to talk," Alex didn't bother with the greetings.

I rolled my eyes at his demand. After almost two weeks of not speaking to me, he was going to try and order me around. It wasn't going to work like that. "No, I'm not there for a reason."

"Laryssa-"

"Alex, I don't want to speak to you. Leave me alone," I hung up, tossing my phone to the side. I let out a breath that I had been holding. My legs started to feel like jello, I sat down glancing at my phone vibrating. I ignored the call, quickly blocking his number. I frowned, wanting Jay to just tell me what the issue was. It wasn't fair for Alex to just be left without an explanation. I closed my eyes, taking a moment to gather myself. "Get up."

I took a deep breath, standing up gathering my bag, umbrella, and keys. I walked past Jay's room, peeking in to see if he had managed to nod off. I smiled to myself when I saw him asleep. I closed the door quietly, clutching the umbrella tighter. I could hear the rain pelting against the roof. I sighed, pulling the front door open, grimacing when I saw the puddles of water right next to the driver's door. I had just cleaned my car. Grumbling at my luck, I opened the umbrella trying to figure out how to get into my car without tracking in mud. I hummed to myself, opening the driver side door tossing my things in, stretching my leg out before I used the steering wheel to pull myself in. I smirked to myself, proud that I didn't get mud in my car.

10:39 a.m. Grocery Store, Forks, Washington

I stared at the different vegetables, trying to remember what my dad made when we were sick. I could taste the soup, but I had never seen him make it. I skimmed the vegetables trying to rack my brain of what it looked and smelled like. My hands hovered over the veggies, picking up a squash, some carrots, a cabbage, and corn. I hummed to myself, setting a bag of potatoes in the cart. I pushed the cart picking up a few things here and there before I reached the meat department. I skimmed the meats, looking for the short ribs. Clicking my tongue a few times, I grinned in relief when I finally found it. A hand waved in my line of sight catching my eye. I glanced up, grinning when I saw John Gray waving at me excitedly. I yanked out my earphones, staring at my mom's old 'apprentice', "Hi my Lil artist."

I rolled my eyes at his nickname, reaching to give him a hug. "When did you get back?" I asked, wrapping my earphones around my phone. I hadn't seen him since he graduated two years ago, his dark hair had grown past his shoulders, his skin was darker with no acne insight, and he had lost all of his baby fat. "You look great. Arizona agrees with you."

"Three days ago, I'm on spring break and I decided to come home to visit my family. I was planning to stop by tomorrow, to see you guys. But uhm, it's hot, but it beats the rain. Aren't you a senior or did you graduate early," He asked, moving his cart so that it wasn't blocking the walkway.

"No, I didn't graduate early, I will in a few months though. Uhm, Jay's not feeling well so I stayed home to make sure he would be okay. I decided to make some of the soup my dad used to make," I gestured to the stuff in my cart. "It's nice that you decided to come back for spring break. I was wondering why it decided to pour. Now, I know it's just welcoming you home."

John rolled his eyes, smirking at me. "Still the poetic one," he shoved his hands in his pockets, "that little rugrat. Man, I miss him, he kicks ass on our online group." I smiled, Jay had looked up to John. It had always been John this and John that. "How's Alex?" I faltered, a small frown had worked its way onto my face before I could stop it. "Not good?" I shook my head. "Let's grab a cup of coffee, you look like you need to talk to someone and who better than your favorite person in the whole wide world."

I snorted at him, sending him a small nod. "Make it a hot chocolate, not coffee."

John laughed, grabbing his cart heading towards the front. "God, how do you not like coffee? Is that little coffee shop still open?"

11:09 a.m. Coffee House, Forks, Washington

I watched the rainfall, tapping my fingers against the table. I glanced over at John flirting with the girl behind the counter. My mom would be happy to know that her protégé returned home and that he was still the biggest flirt. I cringed at the times she used to beg him to talk about his dates for her book. John sent the girl one last smile as he grabbed the mugs. He winked at me, setting my hot chocolate down in front of me. "Still got it."

I rolled my eyes at him, warming my hands on the cup. "I don't know why girls used to fawn over you. Clearly they've never smelt your morning breath," I teased, remembering the time he had fallen asleep at the kitchen table writing. I had been tasked to wake him up and he breathed in my face and I almost died.

"Just you wait until the guy you like sees how much you drool," He snarked, taking a sip of his coffee. "There is something about the coffee here that Arizona can't compete with." He set his cup down, leaning back in his chair. "Lay it on me."

I didn't drool a lot. I bit my lip, bringing the hot chocolate up to my lips, letting my mind swirl rapidly. "I don't even know where to start," I sighed, wiping the top of my lip feeling the whipped cream.

He leaned forward setting his elbows on the table, a small frown had made its way onto his face. "Laryssa, start from the beginning."

I nodded, gripping the cup tighter. "A few months ago, Jay suddenly started hating Alex. I kept bugging him about it but he wouldn't tell me. So I just let it go. Then about two and a half weeks ago, I ignored Alex because he was stressing me out about this huge project that was due. You know me, John. My work is important to me. Something was missing on the project and I couldn't figure out what it was and Alex kept bugging me to just send it in. He said I was being a diva. Then when I go to apologize for ignoring him, he gives me the silent treatment. I tried to talk to him multiple times and apologize but nothing. So another friend of mine invites me to sit with her and her boyfriend's friends. She told me to give him space, so I did. But John he's been a nightmare, he's always glaring at me and then today he orders me to go to school so we can talk." I huffed taking a sip from my cup, trying to use the chocolate to soothe me. "That's not even the worse thing John… When Jay found out he and I weren't speaking he basically broke down and told me he's not good for me and not to go back. He begged me to trust him, but he wouldn't tell me what happened. He told his best friend's sister and she told me that it was better that I let him go."

John leaned back, crossing his arms across his chest. The frown was still on his face, "That's a lot," He murmured, twirling his empty mug. I frowned when he couldn't meet my gaze.

"You know too. Don't you," I asked, watching his light brown eyes shoot up to stare at me. I shook my head feeling betrayed that my brother could tell literally everyone else, but not tell me. "Of freaking course. I bet you're not gonna tell me either."

"I swore I wouldn't say anything. I agree with Jayden," John shrugged, tossing his hair over his shoulder. I rolled my eyes, feeling anger burn in my chest. My little brother could trust everyone else about something that applied to me, but he couldn't even muster up the courage to let me know what the hell was going on. "I'm sensing you're angry…"

"What the hell gave that away John," I seethed, pulling out my wallet slapping a five-dollar bill on the table. "I'm so sick of everyone knowing something that is so bad for me, but they can't even tell me what the hell it is." I stood up sending him a glare. "Have a nice freaking day and have safe travels back." I walked out of the cafe ignoring the freezing rain, listening to John's footsteps follow me wishing I had never even run into him.

I fiddled with my keys, unlocking my car and yanking the door open. I tossed my stuff in the car, pushing down the burning anger raging through me. I got in, getting ready to slam the door but a hand caught my door preventing me from shutting it. "Laryssa, c'mon." I glared up at him, wanting to take all my anger out on him. I looked away feeling my eyes start to burn and my throat start to close. "Don't cry. I didn't mean to make you upset."

I rubbed my eyes harshly, grabbing my umbrella from the passenger seat, opening it up so he wasn't getting soaked. He squatted so that I was looking at him face to face, sending me a small grateful smile. "What did I do that was so wrong that Jay can't even trust me? I have known Alex since middle school. He was there since my dad died and he put up with all my moods. How can I just shove him away like he means nothing?"

"It's not about him not trusting you. He's scared that he could lose you, Laryssa. He almost lost you after your dad died, remember?" I stared at my steering wheel. A few tears slipped down as I remembered waking up in the hospital and Jayden clinging to my arm. I nodded, brushing my cheeks, ignoring my stuffy nose. "It must feel like your between a rock and a hard place, huh? I know you love your brother and you trust him. I also know you cherish your friendship with Alex."

"I'm not who I was when you left. I'm stronger than I was then. I know I hurt him when I tried to kill myself. I know that John. But I have healed and I learned how to cope with loss," I sniffed, pushing my hair away from my face. I went through countless therapy sessions so that I could get better and I had come to a place where I felt that I was good. "I need to know what he did to warrant such hatred. Why do I have to cut off my oldest friend? Don't you think that's something I need to know?"

John sighed, reaching over to pinch my cheek lightly. He moved so that he was sitting on the door frame, I almost cracked a smile at his lengthy frame trying to squeeze himself onto the small space. He grabbed my hand, holding it tightly. "Alright. I'll tell you. It's gonna hurt and I need you to keep me updated with how you're doing."

2:00 p.m. Inside Chiago House, La Push, Washington

I set the stew on the stove, trying not to get lost in what John had told me. I opened the freezer, taking out one of the ice cubes. I held it in my palm tightly, watching the rain pelt against the window. I let out a deep breath, letting the smaller piece of ice fall into the sink when I felt better. I walked to Jay's room, opening his door seeing him tangled in his sheets, I peered closer seeing sweat cling to his brow. I quickly made my way to the restroom, grabbing another rag wetting it lightly.

I sighed, glancing in the mirror closing my eyes letting a few tears escape. I focused on trying to regulate my breathing. I took a few deep breaths before I opened my eyes. I leaned down, washing my face slowly taking time to feel the cool water against my cheeks. I turned the water off, drying my face slowly. I set the towel to the side, holding onto the edge of the sink. I understood now why my brother was so adamant about not telling me, he knew that it was Pandora's box and he didn't want me opening it.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, my heart was in pain. I closed my eyes pleading for my dad to guide me. I imagined him telling me to relax and take slow breaths. I inhaled slowly, focusing on each breath I took. I could see him, sitting on his favorite chair, in his favorite painted blue jeans, and his white shirt splattered with paint and a paintbrush tucked behind his ear right ear. Pay attention to what's happening. Think first. Never react if you haven't thought about it. Once you pay attention, we can figure out the problem and come up with a solution.

I opened my eyes, rewetting the rag, turning the light off. I trailed back to Jay's room, smiling slightly, sitting beside him. I dabbed the cool rag against his heated skin, "I'm sorry for the burden you had." Never again. I brushed his hair back, seeing how young he really looked. "I understand why you didn't want to tell me." It was my own fault. I was all he truly had here and I knew how much he loved it here. If he had tried to kill himself, I wouldn't want him to bear anything else remotely traumatic. "I was hurt because I thought you didn't trust me, but now I know that wasn't the case."

I rested my fingers on his cheek, taking them away when he turned his back to me. With a small sigh, I stood up fixing his blankets. I eyed his room, grimacing when I saw the piles of dirty clothes. I slowly started to pick up his clothes, deciding that I would do his laundry since he was sick. I walked with his pile of clothes trying not to breathe in the rank smell of his old musty clothes. I shoved his clothes in the washer, making sure to put extra baking soda in. I started the wash going to check on the stew. The sound of the doorbell going off had me detouring, wondering who was at the door. I peeked through the little peephole, hurrying to open the door when I realized who was on the other side. I opened the door quickly, staring at Paul's sheepish face. "Hey."

"Hey," I sounded breathless, I cleared my throat. "Come in." He shuffled in quickly, I shut the door, looking down at the bags in his hand."What are you doing here?"

"Mind if I," He gestured to the kitchen, waiting for me to nod.

"Yeah, of course," I trailed after him, watching him set the bags on the counter, glancing at the papers that still littered the table. I decided that I was going to pack them away. She could sort them out again when she decided to come home. He turned back to me, reaching to pull me into him. I grinned, shuffling closer into his warm hug. "Is school out already?"

Paul pulled back grinning down at me. "No, I didn't have last hour so I wanted to check on you guys." I closed my eyes when his fingers brushed against my cheek. He didn't have to do that, and I appreciated that he did. I opened my eyes when his hand pulled away, turning so that he could rifle through the bags with his other arm still around me. "I got him some yellow Gatorade because yellow is the best to drink when your sick and crackers. The lady said that ginger tea was supposed to be good for him, so I got him some of that. These are honey cough drops that aren't like the nasty ones. Something about them being all-natural. I got some kleenex, too." I pulled myself out of his arms, staring up at him in shock.

I eyed the stuff for my little brother, my eyes started to water at how thoughtful he was. Paul frowned, glancing at the stuff he had bought. I walked closer to him, wrapping my arms around his middle, holding onto him tight. No one had ever done something like this before. "Thank you. This means a lot." His arms wrapped around me tightly, as he rested his chin on my head.

I sniffed, pulling back wiping my face turning away so he didn't see me crying over something silly.

"You're welcome. How was your day," Paul asked, setting his hands on my shoulders, rubbing them soothingly before he let go of me. I watched him rifle through the bag, setting three Hershey's bars off to the side peeking at me over his shoulder. It was my favorite chocolate to eat. "I didn't know if you would be stressed, so I thought I'd get them just in case."

I eyed the chocolate, although I had no desire to eat it. "My day was eventful," I murmured, remembering how John had told me the last thing I expected to hear.

"Do you want to talk about it," He asked, his hand reaching out to touch my arm. I stared at him, setting my hand on top of his. It was way too much drama that he didn't have to endure. On the other hand, maybe it was good that he knew. He could decide then if he had doubts and it would be easier for him to walk away and hopefully we could remain friends or cordial. I hoped that it was early enough that it wouldn't hurt me badly. "Laryssa?" I pulled him towards the living room, so we could talk on the couch. I didn't want to lose him, not when I had barely gotten to know him. I wanted more time with him.

"That day that we went to the beach Jay had a little bit of a meltdown," I started, moving so that my leg was under me as I turned to face him. Paul turned, a slight frown on his face as he turned so that he was giving me his full attention. "I told him that Alex and I aren't speaking right now. Jay went off about how Alex wasn't good for me and not to go back to him. He begged me to trust him, but he wouldn't tell me what happened. Well, he told Leah and John." I bit my lip, running my fingers through my hair. "I don't know if you remember John Gray, he was a senior when we were sophomores. He left for Arizona since he had gotten a scholarship there. Anyway, he's back for the week. I ran into him when I went to get some items from the store. We caught up at the Coffee House in Forks. I told him about everything that's been going on and I had managed to get him to tell me why Jay was so distraught about Alex." I stopped, glancing towards his door hoping that he was still asleep. I pursed my lips, fighting to gain control of the angry monster that had broken free of its cage. I dug my nails into my palms, taking a deep breath. "Jay was right, Alex isn't good for me." I didn't dare look at Paul, I didn't want to see what he thought of my drama.

"What did he tell you," Paul questioned, grabbing my hands to unravel them. I blinked rapidly staring at his hands. I could feel the slight calluses, and how hot they were.

I didn't even want to repeat the bet that I heard Alex had made. Who the hell did Alex think he was? How could he make a bet about him taking my virginity? How could he even dare to think that he owned me? "He made a bet with someone over the phone. I guess he bet a hundred dollars that he would be the one to take my V card on prom night." Had I meant so little to him, that he would do that to me? I had trusted him by telling him I wanted to wait for someone I loved. He had just stomped all over me.

I blinked rapidly when I realized Paul had fallen silent. I slowly let my eyes trail over him, shrinking back when I saw how angry his gaze had become. My eyes darted his hands when I felt them shaking. "He what?" I swallowed hard when I heard him growl. He breathed hard, releasing my hands to stand up and pace. I watched him shake unsure what to say.

I licked my lips, trying to gain the courage to speak. I reached out taking his wrist in my hand to get him to stop. His eyes snapped to my hand and I let him go as if I had suddenly been burned, "I'm s-sorry." I pulled my hand to my chest, cursing myself for touching him.

I couldn't meet his eyes as he kneeled in front of me. "You didn't do anything wrong. I just wasn't expecting your touch." I slowly looked up at him, seeing the frown on his face deepening. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get upset. I can't imagine how you're feeling." He wasn't mad that I had touched him, he was just startled. I held out my hand offering it to him.

"So many different things," I offered when he took my hand sitting beside me. "Anger, hurt, confusion." I listed off a few, feeling him sit closer to me. I rested my head on his shoulder savoring that I could do this for the moment, waiting for what was going to come next. It was inevitable, no guy wanted this sort of drama. "I've been wanting to know since I knew Jay couldn't stand him. But I'd never thought it would be this. I opened Pandora's box."

When John had told me, I didn't believe it at first. But then the pieces had finally come together. Alex used to let me practice Spanish on his premium app, but when he and Jay had the falling out he wouldn't let me touch his phone. There were times that he had been more touchy-feely than I had been comfortable with. When we had fallen asleep from watching a movie on opposite sides of the couch, I had woken up with his arms around me. He claimed that I had moved so I was laying on him.

"What can I do," He murmured, letting go of my hand moving his arm so it was settled behind my shoulder. He gently pulled me back, so I was tucked into his side. I rested my head back on his shoulder, letting his hand take my free one.

I let out a small shuttered breath, closing my eyes trying to fight against the tears. "You're already doing it," I whispered, feeling like I was being shielded by the blows being thrown. He was giving me a chance to get my bearings, covering me from what I couldn't handle. I still didn't understand why I felt so enamored with him in such a short amount of time, but some things just weren't meant to be understood right away, and right now I was more than okay with that. He readjusted himself, pulling me so that I was tucked closer into his side, his warmth was comforting. I felt his head rest on mine and his thumb stroke soothing circles into my skin.

3:34 p.m. Inside Chiago House, La Push, Washington

I stirred the stew, inhaling the mouthwatering aroma. "I never got a chance to ask you how your day was," I glanced back at Paul, sitting at the table staring at me as I started to cut up the cabbage. I had just flown straight into me and forgotten about him. I tossed the cabbage in the pot, turning so I gave him my full attention.

"Boring. My beautiful partner wasn't in class with me and I had no one to walk to the gym. Lunch was uneventful since I didn't have anyone trying to steal my fries," Paul sighed, sending me a grumpy look.

I bit my lip, trying to suppress my smile. I had stolen one of his fries last week and he had teased me about it ever since. "I'm sure it wasn't that bad," I smirked, offering him a carrot. "Did they even serve fries today?"

Paul grinned, his tongue poking out to wet his lips. "No, " He reached over taking the carrot.

"Oh, so you're trying to make me feel guilty for taking your food," I teased, munching on the leftover carrots. "It's almost as if you wanted my mouth to keep burning," I laughed, mentally blaming Embry for lying to me so I would try the chili he had grown. "Starch has been proven to help alleviate spiciness."

"I warned you not to try it," Paul smirked, getting up from the chair, taking a carrot from the cutting board.

"You tried it with no problem, so I thought it was a dud," I leaned against the counter, listening to the rainfall. "Sometimes I just have to take a chance." I eyed him out of the corner of my eye, watching him grin.

"Sis," Jay's voice cracked. I turned around frowning at how awful he sounded. He nodded to Paul, leaning against the wall.

I walked towards him reaching out to feel his skin. I winced feeling how feverish he felt. "Back to bed, c'mon." I tried to herd him towards his room, but he wasn't having it. "Jayden, you aren't feeling well and your body needs rest."

He batted my hands away, turning to stare at Paul. "You hurt my sis, I'll hurt you." I froze, letting my mouth fall open at his threat. He was like a little chihuahua going after a rottweiler.

"Oh my god," I murmured mortified, that even sick he could embarrass me. "Let's go," I grabbed his arm pulling it over my shoulder tugging him towards his room.

"Payback for taking my controller," He snickered, falling into a coughing fit. I rolled my eyes at him, patting his back gently. I pulled back his covers helping him back into bed. I pulled his pillows so he was propped up. I grabbed his blankets, pulling them over him. "When did he come over?"

"Earlier," I mumbled, sitting on the side of his bed. I watched him, seeing how exhausted he was. "He brought you some things to help you get better." I eyed him seeing him settle into his pillows clasping his hands together. "I made some soup… I'll bring you some in a bit and you can watch some TV."

I stood up, stopping when his hand wrapped around my wrist. I glanced at him sitting back down, wondering what was going through his mind. "Ask him if he wants to play a game with me in the living room after I eat."

"Is that an olive branch," I asked, reaching forward to run my fingers through his hair. He nodded settling against his pillows. "Why don't I ask when you're feeling better?" I wanted him to rest, but I also didn't want Paul to get sick. I had already exposed him to my second-hand germs, I didn't want him to get it from the source.

"That's why your the smart one," Jay murmured, closing his eyes at my fingers massaging his scalp. "Next time."

I grinned at him, getting up to bring him some food. I walked to the kitchen seeing Paul gazing out the window watching the rainfall. I took a second to admire him. His hair looked so soft that I wanted to run my fingers through it. His black shirt stretched across his torso, causing me to blush at the sight of him. He was undeniably attractive and I was so meh.

"Even sick he still manages to be frightening," Paul turned, leaning against the sink sending me a small smile.

Jay was about as frightening as a puppy. "How so," I asked, wanting to hear his thoughts about how my tiny brother was scaring him.

"I saw the look in his eyes. Even if he was struggling to hold himself up," Paul rubbed his face, a thoughtful expression had taken over his face. "I'm not planning on hurting you, god forbid if I did it's nice to know that he would make me pay."

I eyed my shoes, feeling my cheeks start to warm up at his admission. Hurting people was inevitable, but it was heartwarming to know that he didn't want to hurt me. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. I scratched my eyebrow, trying to will away the butterflies. I felt that he liked to see me as a blushing mess. "He wants to play a video game with you when he feels better. If you're up for it."

"Name the time and I'm here," Paul grinned, moving towards me. I stared down at his shoes, seeing the shine in his boots. I felt my face being lifted up so that I was looking at him. "I can't get enough of you blushing."

"Well my cheeks would like a break from the constant blood rush," I said, feeling a small grin trying to push its way onto my face. I reached up to touch his face gently, trailing my fingers underneath his eyes. "Not sleeping well?"

"Not really," He grabbed my hand, holding it to his cheek. He nuzzled my hand, closing his eyes. "Did you want me to stop trying to make you blush?"

"No," I answered quickly, shying away slightly when he opened his eyes. He leaned forward, nuzzling his nose against mine. "How come you aren't sleeping well," I whispered as if we were in a bubble and if I spoke any louder it was going to burst.

"Work is stressing me out," Paul sighed, his arm coming to rest on my back. "So you like blushing?"

I frowned, tugging him towards the couch. I sat him down, handing him the remote. "For the record, I don't mind if you make me blush," I hummed, wincing at my loose mouth. I pushed his shoulder gently when he tried to get up. "I'm going to give Jay something to eat. Are you hungry?" He shook his head, letting his body relax into the couch. "Relax, I'll be right back," I murmured, trying to escape to the kitchen so I didn't tell him something else embarrassing.

His hand wrapped around my wrist, tugging me so that I tumbled down on his lap. I blew my hair out of my face, freezing when I realized how close I was to his lips. "I'm okay. I promise." He tucked my hair behind my ear, sending me a small smile.

"You took care of me… let me do the same for you," I focused on looking at his eyes, so I didn't stare at his soft lips. It was a small gesture, nothing that compared to what he had already done for me, but it was the only thing I could offer. "Can I do that?" I let my hands wander to the side of his face. I stroked his cheeks, wanting him to take a few moments to relax. Paul nodded, letting out a deep breath nuzzling his face into my hands. "I'll be right back." I let my hands drop from his face, as I carefully got up out of his lap.

4:57 p.m. Inside Chiago House, La Push, Washington

I quickly folded Jay's clothes, setting them on his desk while he set his bowl to the side. I glanced back at him, seeing him rub his stomach. "You made Pop's soup? I thought you didn't know how to make it."

I grabbed the basket, hiking it up on my hip. He handed me his bowl with a content smile. "I didn't. But I wanted to try it off of taste alone," I smiled, setting the basket down to pull his blanket up. I fixed up his nightstand, making sure his Gatorade was open, his cough drops were beside them and the tissue box was at his side. "When we were sick, he made it and I know I always felt better after I ate it."

"I feel full, but a nice full. Did Paul like it," Jay asked, settling in his pillows, pulling his blanket closer to his chest.

"He dozed off a few minutes ago, I'll give him some when he wakes up," I smiled, picking the basket back up, setting the bowl in it. "Thanks for giving him a chance Jay."

"You trust me… I trust you," He grinned, letting a yawn out.

I nodded, holding onto his door. "Open or closed?"

"Closed," Jay yawned again. I closed the door behind me, heading towards the laundry room to set the basket down. I took the bowl out, humming to myself as I walked back to the kitchen. I peeked over the couch seeing Paul passed out. I set the bowl down, unraveling the small blanket on top of the couch tossing it gently over his massive form. I smiled when I heard him snore, he needed a good rest and I hoped he was going to get it on our small couch. I went back into the kitchen, making myself a small bowl. I let it sit for a moment, heading towards my art room to grab some supplies to draw. I grabbed my lucky notebook, and the last pencil my dad had gifted me. Walking back to the kitchen, I grabbed my bowl heading to go sit at the coffee table.

I set my things down quietly, sitting against the couch. I pulled my bowl onto my lap, watching wipeout laughing quietly when the people were falling off the balls. I glanced behind me, seeing Paul still passed out. I set my bowl down, picking up my notebook quietly trying to turn to a blank page. I kissed my pencil, quietly thanking my dad for giving it to me. I eyed the pencil, smiling at how worn it was. It had been the first pencil my dad had been gifted from his mom when he started drawing. He had passed it down to me when I sold my first painting. If I was lucky to have children, I wanted to be able to pass this small token onto them. I started to sketch Paul at the window, he had been staring at the rain intently and I wasn't sure what he thought about my drama. I waited for the ball to drop and the doubts to come, but he had just held me and let me wind down. He had scared me when his eyes had snapped to my hand when I tried to get him to stop pacing. I closed my eyes, the hurt didn't subside from when I told him, but it did lessen. I still didn't know how I was going to handle Alex, but I did know that if I saw him soon I was going to unleash my rage. I wanted him to pay for how he wronged me.

I shook myself out of my thoughts when Paul whined in his sleep. He flinched and whined again. I set my things to the side, moving closer to him. I ran my fingers through his hair, trying to get him to calm down without waking him. "It's alright," I murmured softly, hoping that I didn't wake him. He relaxed into my touch, pushing his face further into the couch. I smiled at him, I didn't want to drop my hand from his soft strands just yet. I let him go after a moment,

"You didn't have to stop," I heard him mumble as he turned his head to stare at me. I smiled at him, reaching towards him to run my fingers through his hair.

"Is it comforting," I asked, watching his eyes flutter close. I smirked, letting my hand trail down to his cheek. I couldn't get enough of the skin to skin contact.

"Hmm," Paul moved his face closer, liking the attention he was getting. I moved my hand back to his hair and trailed my hand over his back scratching lightly. "What time is it?"

"A little bit after five," I glanced at the clock hanging at the back of the living room. "Do you have to go to work today?" He nodded, closing his eyes. I felt for him, all my work was done from the comfort of my home. "I'm sorry."

"It's worth it since I got to wake up to you," Paul moved leaning closer to me. "How are you?" I let my fingers trail back up to his hair. I ran my fingers over his scalp scratching lightly.

"Better," I promised, sending him a small smile. "Are you hungry?"

"A little bit. Did you eat?" He asked, sitting up glancing at my notebook. "Can I see what you drew?" He wiped his face, letting out a big yawn while he stretched.

I pursed my lips, glancing back at my half-eaten bowl. It didn't taste like my dad's but it would do. I grasped my notebook, pulling myself to sit beside him on the couch. I set my notebook on his lap and stood up to make him a bowl. I opened the pot, grinning at the fact that it was still warm. I filled up a bigger bowl, knowing how much he and the other guys ate. I brought it back to the living room, seeing him trace over the simple sketch.

"This from earlier," He questioned taking the bowl from me, setting my folder on the coffee table. I sat a little way from him, pulling my knees to my chest.

"Yeah." I wasn't sure how he felt about being my muse. He had been a constant muse of mine so far and I couldn't seem to stop. I bit my lip because I felt like I was overbearing and creepy. "Does... Does that make you uncomfortable?"

He turned to stare at me, his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk. I would have laughed if it weren't for the anxiety building in my stomach. "No. I like seeing how you see me." I nodded, letting the anxiety melt away and the butterflies start. I grabbed my bowl, slowly starting to eat. We ate quietly and it was nice not to have to feel the need to speak. I set my bowl down when I finished all the meat leaving the veggies. "Don't like vegetables?"

"Not right now." I grinned, stretching. I wasn't too hungry but if I had to eat, I was going to eat the meat. "How is it?"

"I think I found something better than brownies," He grinned, setting his bowl to the side. I smirked when he rubbed his stomach. He held out his hand, glancing at me. "C'mere." I set my hand in his allowing him to pull me to him. I bit my lip when I slid into his lap, unable to meet his eyes. I shouldn't have been this nervous to be pressed against him since I had been held in his arms so many times. I allowed myself to relax when his arms wrapped around my waist as he held me to him. "I know a lot must be going on in there," he tapped my head lightly, "and I just want you to know that I'm here for you." I didn't want to cry anymore. I had shed so many tears today and I didn't want to shed anymore. Not over Alex. His pathetic self shouldn't be worth my tears.

"This is a lot, Paul… you didn't sign up to deal with this," I mustered up the courage to stare at him. I needed him to see that it was okay to leave and that he didn't have to worry about me. He was a kind person that everyone misjudged, and any girl would be lucky to be with him. "It's alright if you don't want to deal with this."

Paul frowned, placing his hands on my face holding me so that I was staring at him. "I still don't have doubts, Laryssa." I blinked rapidly, wondering how in the world he didn't. How was he able to handle that my best friend obviously bet on sleeping with me. What guy wouldn't look at that and say I can't do this? "What that," He took a deep breath closing his eyes and I felt him shiver. I tentatively reached out to touch his shoulder. "What Alex did to you isn't causing me to think of you in a negative light. I want to hurt him, but you… I just want to hold you and keep you away from him. Everything that you are feeling because of what he did is valid." I let out a shaky breath, trying to shove down the waterworks. "I don't want you to hold it in. If you're hurt and you wanna cry, then you can bury your face into my shoulder and I'll hold you tightly until you feel better. If you're angry and you wanna go kick his ass, I'll hold him down and you can get some shots in or scream at him if you don't want to get too violent. You tell me what you wanna do. But before you do, I want to make one thing clear," I stared at him, seeing his eyes holding mine and different emotions swirling behind the deep brown, "this isn't causing any doubts for me. I want to be beside you through anything." I blinked rapidly, feeling the tears fall freely. He let go of my face and I let myself bury my face into his neck as I sobbed quietly. I held onto him as if he were my last lifeline. I felt his hand hold the back of my neck lightly and his arm tighten across my waist. Right now he was the only thing that I was able to hold onto to keep my sanity.

I sniffed, laying my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry for doubting," I murmured, bringing my hand up to wipe my face. "And for getting your shirt wet."

"There will be a day when you won't have them anymore and until then I'm happy to remind you," He tightened his arm again. He sounded so sure and I craved that feeling. "As for the shirt, I'd say that it's okay, but I never want you to cry like that unless it's from happiness."

"One day." I wiped my eyes again, "Jay doesn't know that I know. Will you keep this between you and me?" He nodded, pulling back to look at me. I stared at him, feeling extremely tired from all of the stress and crying. "What time do you have to leave for work?"

"In an hour," I felt his chest rumble soothingly. I nodded, knowing that I should get up, but he was so warm and I didn't know that I was that cold. I closed my eyes for a second shuffling closer to his warmth.

5:53 p.m. Inside Chiago House, La Push, Washington

Paul pulled back her covers, setting her down gently. He felt something hard under her pillow and he reached down pulling out a controller. He set it off to the side with a grin, as he tried to move his arms from her. He didn't want to leave her, but he had patrol and he couldn't cancel. She whimpered, holding onto his shirt tightly in her sleep. Paul leaned towards her, stroking her cheek lightly as if he were trying to coax her into letting him go. Laryssa sighed, pushing her face into her pillow letting him go to hold another pillow. He grinned down at her, pulling her grey blanket up to her chin. He grabbed the controller, holding it in his hand tightly so he didn't drop it.

He took a moment to look at her room and it resembled her. She had plants decorating every shelf and tucked into every corner of her room. She had a whole forest outside at her fingertips, but she chose to bring more freshness to her as she slept. He pictured her watering her plants and speaking to them in her soothing voice. Her walls were decorated with paintings and her ceiling was covered in glow in the dark stars. Paul stepped towards her mirror seeing her writing on the glass. Love Yourself. He squinted looking at the post beside her mirror, it wasn't her handwriting. It was worn and the edges had been taped down. It looked like she had run her fingers over the note many times.

Pretty Girl, remember that you are trying and that's good enough. Be home soon. -Dad

He stared at the note, wishing that he could've met her father. She always talked about him and he thought back to the sketch he had ruined. He would give anything to have met her and not ruined her work. He really needed to get going, but he didn't want to leave her. Paul looked back at Laryssa, her face was peaceful as she slipped into her dreams. He hoped they were giving her comfort when he couldn't. "Sweet dreams, Laryssa."

Paul moved towards her door, quietly closing it behind him. He knocked quietly on the door next to her's. "Come in," A weak voice called out.

He opened the door, feeling slightly anxious at talking with her little brother. He was grateful that she had a protector, but he didn't want to be on the wrong side of that protection. He made a move to sit up quickly but stopped when Paul held his hand up. "Your sister fell asleep, I uh put her in her room. This was under her pillow," He held up the controller. "I'm going to head out. Is there anything you need before I go?"

Jayden reached out for the controller. Paul stepped into his room, smelling Laryssa's scent mixed with his. He set the controller in Jayden's hand, glancing around his room. "Thanks… I'm alright… Did she ask you about the game?"

"Yeah, name the time and place and I'm there," Paul said, sending him a small grin. He wasn't sure about how to react around him.

"Good," Jayden pulled up his blanket, leaning against his pillows. "My sister wants to give you a chance and I respect and trust her choices. So I'm giving you a chance. I- I don't know if she told you anything about Alex, but if you ever hurt her like he has. You will regret it."

Paul swallowed, even though he towered over the kid he saw the threat and the fear in his eyes. From what it looked like, Laryssa was all he had and he seemed like someone who would go down fighting for her. It was a type of love that he saw between siblings who had a strong bond. He admired the kid willing to go to bat for her. "I don't plan on hurting your sister. I know that the rumors say different, but Laryssa means a lot to me. I hope one day I can earn your trust."

Jayden eyed him, sending him a small nod. "Thanks for getting me the stuff," He jerked his head to the items that he had bought earlier for him. "I appreciate it."

"You're welcome. Feel better," Paul said, backing out of his room. He heard the small thanks as he walked away from Jayden's door. He made sure to lock the door behind him. The rain had finally stopped and he wasn't looking forward to the mud. He got into his truck, trying to suppress the anger that was boiling in his chest. Laryssa didn't need to see his anger, but he wanted to-. He took a deep breath, not daring to let his thoughts go down that path. Paul backed out of her driveway, heading towards Sam and Emily's house, trying to not let the fact that that worm hurt his imprint emotionally and planned to use her sexually. Over his dead body would he have let that happen. Paul searched his memories, trying to summon one of Laryssa that calmed him. He needed her to get him through the night.

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Let me know what you guys think!

Edited on May 18, 2020.