Hi,

I hope everyone is staying safe. I have written a few words at the end of this chapter about the 215 Indigenous children. I'm not sure who is reading this story, but if there are any of my indigenous brothers and sisters reading this and feel disheartened by the children found in Canada, know what you are feeling is valid. Old wounds are being reopened, and the generational trauma is being pulled to the surface. Please know that I am sending prayers to our ancestors to watch over us during these traumatic times. If you need to talk, I will hold space for you.

Always and Forever,

Ari.

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, silent treatment, bullying, emotional abuse, implied sexual relationships, manipulation, stress, abandonment.

Disclaimer: I only own my OC's and parts of the plot you do not recognize from the Twilight Saga.

Chapter 17: When You Are Ready

"He stared at her, knowing with certainty that he was falling in love. He pulled her close and kissed her beneath a blanket of stars, wondering how on earth he'd been lucky enough to find her."

― Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song

8:26 a.m. La Push High, La Push, Washington

"Do you want me to take your snow tires off," Paul asked, squatting down to peer closer at my tires. I knew I needed to have them taken off soon, but it seemed like I had so little time. "I can do it later today."

"I can take it to Kya. You don't have to," I murmured, watching his lips curl into a frown. Kya, two streets from where I lived, had always done it since Dad died. "No worries."

"Why not let him? Maybe you can show me," Jay cut in, munching on his sausage and egg sandwich. I hid my smile, watching Jay bounce on the balls of his feet. His nervous tic was coming out in full force, "I mean if you-"

"Yeah," Paul practically sprung up with a wide grin. "I'd like that." I met Paul's eyes as I tugged on Jay's ear. Jay smacked my hand away.

"Okay," Jay half-smiled, pulling out his phone. I quickly glanced down at the wedding picture of Dad and Grace as his screensaver. I felt a stone settle at the pit of my stomach. I needed to tell him about Grace. I unblocked her number that night, hoping to see if she called, but my hope diminished because, as always, she had chosen her book over us.

Jay glowered at me, rubbing his ear only to perk up when Kim and Jared joined our group. A warm arm settled on my shoulder, pulling me close. I wrapped my arm around Paul's waist, nestling into his warm side, pushing the thought of Grace to the back of my mind. I tuned out their conversation, glancing around the parking lot. My eyes caught onto Alex, sitting on the hood of his car, fiddling with his phone. Lisa stood next to him, taking pictures. From the hunch of his shoulders, I could tell that he was uncomfortable. Alex always hated pictures. I remembered begging him when we were younger, and he always begrudgingly agreed. I felt for him. It was as if Alex could feel my eyes, and he locked eyes with me. He slid off the hood of his car, startling Lisa. He took a step forward, and I took one back. "You okay?" Paul's arm tightened over my shoulder, and I felt his hand rub against my shoulder.

I turned my attention back to Paul, reaching up to hold his wrist, "Yeah." I looked back at Alex, seeing him ball his hands into fists. He rubbed his hand through his hair angrily, yanking himself away from Lisa when she tried to put her hand on his shoulder. "Just thought I was ready for something, but I'm not."

Paul nodded in understanding. He glanced in Alex's direction before looking back at me. "There is no rush." I grinned, standing on my toes, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Yo, love birds. Class is gonna start," Jared called, pulling Kim towards school. "We weren't like that, right?" He teased loudly, dodging the balled foil I tossed at him. "Laryssa, I'm wounded." He picked it up, tossing it over his shoulder. Paul leaned forward, catching the small make-shift ball.

I laughed, pulling Paul towards the building. "I'm sure you'll heal fast."

Paul snorted, intertwining our hands. Jared turned around quickly, staring at Paul with wide eyes. "You did it?"

Kim yelped, tossing herself at me. I let go of Paul, trying to hide my smile. "I told you so." She jabbed a bony finger at Paul. "I know my best friend." I let my smile break out in full force as I hugged her back. "We have so much to talk about, and Jared and I were not worse." Kim hummed as she vibrated in happiness.

"Thanks for the unwanted input, Kim. Ask the others. You and Jared are worse," Paul grinned, effectively tugging me down the hall and away from Kim. I waved at them, poking Paul on his side. "They were Rys."

"If you say so," I laughed, letting him take my hand. I tried my best to ignore the looks that we were still getting in the hallway. My mind flashed back to earlier when I remembered his frown. "About earlier..."

"Snow tires?" He questioned, opening the door letting me go in first. I nodded, walking into the near-empty room. "Do you not want me to help?"

"Of course I do. It's just don't you have to work tonight? I uh don't want you to be tired for your shift tonight," I murmured, setting my bag on the desk. "I want you to be safe." I couldn't look at him because I knew he would see the fear plastered all over my face. Ever since he told me, my dreams had been consumed of Cold Ones. Nightmares of my loved ones drained dry had me wanting to keep everyone close and away from danger. Now, I dreaded every time Paul had to do his shifts.

"Laryssa, look at me." I let out a small sigh, peeking at him. "I'm always prepared for my shifts. I'm careful. Besides, changing tires is easy. It's what boyfriends help with." He kissed my cheek quickly as he took his seat. I sat in the chair beside his, biting the inside of my cheek. I started unpacking my bag, "hey," his warm hand covered mine as he leaned closer to me. "The leeches don't have anything on us. On me. Trust me."

"It's not that I don't trust you. It's them I don't trust," I rubbed Paul's hand before letting go. I started to gather my notebook and pens. "I'm glad you and Jay are getting along," I changed the subject, noticing others begin to trail into the room.

"Me too. So, Kya Fuller, does your tires?" I nodded, smiling at the memory of our first meeting.

Flashback

I glared down at the tire, feeling fury shoot through my veins. "Why is this so damn difficult?" I kneeled beside the tire, wishing that I had paid attention when Dad tried to teach me. I felt my eyes start to water. I inhaled sharply, shoving the rush of emotions down. "You will not cry." I tapped my hand against my thigh. I was miles away from Forks, and I had no cell service. I looked back at the tire. I could do this. "Just try and loosen the screw things, and then we go from there." I twisted the screws, and they didn't budge. I took a deep breath before trying again. They still wouldn't budge. I clenched my teeth together, holding in the scream that wanted out. I stood up when I heard an engine. I glanced down the road seeing a rusty black ford truck. I recognized it, but I couldn't remember who owned it. It came to a stop beside me, and the passenger window rolled down.

"Ya need some help?" I nodded, sending an embarrassed smile to the woman. "Alright, hon, let me pull over. Just a sec." I loosened my shoulders, walking towards her truck parked in front of my car. "Let's have a look."

"Thank you, I have no idea how to fix it," I admitted, staring at the blown tire.

"Well, we can fix that. But, c'mon, I'll go through step by step." She smiled, pushing the dark flyaways away from her face as she leaned down, studying the tire. "I'm Kya. You're Danny's daughter," She stated, twisting the screws off with ease.

A flare of pain radiated throughout my body at Dad's name. "Yeah, Laryssa. Thanks, Kya."

-.-

"Tada," She laughed, wiping her hands on her jeans. "Easy peasy, but you're gonna need to switch out these tires. Ya, only need snow tires when it's snowing. Keep them on any longer, and you'll mess em up."

I nodded, offering her the spare towel I had. She smirked, taking the yellow material. "Thanks, I'll take it to the place in Forks."

"Oh no, hon, ya don't wanna go there. Son's of bitches overcharge ya like crazy. They don't like us very much. So tell ya what, I'll come over this weekend, and I'll change em for ya." She handed the towel back to me. "I'll teach ya what I know for Danny." I tried to smile back at her, but she kept her gaze on my tire. I was thankful that she didn't look at me because she would've seen the pitiful smile.

End of Flashback

"She does the basics on my car since Dad died," I murmured, running my fingers through my hair. "Tires, oil, speakers, brakes. Since Dad helped her with her finances, she helped me with my car."

"Kya doesn't like a lot of people," Paul reached over, drawing a sunflower on my open notebook. "But I know from experience that Chaigo's are hard to resist."

"Oh hush," I rolled my eyes, biting my lip to contain my smile. "Flirt."

"Only for you," He sent me a boyish smile. Paul winked at me, turning to face the front of the room. I stared at him, watching the dimple in his cheek deepen when his lips stretched across his teeth. My eyes trailed down his neck and over his broad shoulders. His navy long sleeve stretched across his muscles, and I wondered if there was any color that he didn't look good in. It should be illegal to look as good as he does. Paul turned back to me, setting his hand on his chin. "Baby, are you checking me out right now?"

I felt my face get warm, but instead of shying away, I smirked at him, "Always, handsome." He set his hand on my lap. I didn't bother holding my smile as I took his hand, squeezing it lightly. I ran my fingers through my hair, turning my attention to my notebook. I let my fingers trail over my sunflower, sketching a smaller version of his tattoo next to it.

8:30 a.m. La Push High, La Push, Washington

He glanced at the various apps on his phone, feigning interest on his home screen instead of having to pay attention to her. She was everywhere, wanting his attention. At first, he relished in the attention from Lisa, the feeling of being needed and wanted. She gave it to him freely, and she never expected anything back. However, he wished that it was something Laryssa gave him. He would admit that she gave him attention, but not the kind he craved. Alex wanted more from Laryssa, but she never wanted to give him more. She held no romantic interest for him, no matter how hard he tried to move along their friendship. He could tell by the way Laryssa would pull away from his touch or avoid him. He would try to break down the concrete walls that she put up, but she would rebuild them with steel.

Alex opened his pictures, typing in his password for his locked album. The album opened, and it was filled with her. He smiled inwardly at his favorite picture of them. It was taken last year where they had watched a scary film, and she had clung to him, burying her face in his arm. She hated scary movies, but he liked watching them with her because she needed him.

"What are you looking at," Lisa asked, trying to stand on her tiptoes to see his phone. He closed out of the album, feeling annoyance bubble up in his chest. His back was starting to hurt from leaning into himself. But it was the only way to get out of her incessant need to take pictures of them together. He hated pictures. The only ones he liked or bared were the ones Laryssa wanted him to take. She had this way of getting him excited to do the things he despised. He thought about it deeply, and the only conclusion he could come up with was that he could be near her and hold her for a moment. He missed her. He tried multiple times to get her back, but she avoided him like the plague.

The click had him yanking himself from his thoughts. Alex tried with every fiber of his being to ignore Lisa and the annoying clicks. "Looks like they are still going strong," He heard Lisa murmur herself. Alex glanced up, and excitement built in his chest because Laryssa was finally looking at him after months of the cold shoulder. From where he sat on top of his car, he could see the emotions flicker through her eyes. Her eyes always told him what he needed to know, and he could see that she missed him. Alex looked over her, and he despised the closeness of the two. He didn't understand how the manwhore was able to worm his way into her tightknit circle or how he was able to touch her and hold her close without her pulling away. Alex could see Laryssa's arm holding onto the manwhore. He didn't understand how he got his claws in her so fast when she was terrified of him just months before. Alex slid off his car, taking a step towards her to help her. Even if she ignored him, he would be there for her just like he had blocked her from Rivers.

Alex's heart dropped when she took a step back, pulling the manwhore with her. The manwhore glanced down at her. A frown pulling over his face as he brought her closer, rubbing her shoulder, soothing her as if Alex was the one who frightened her. Laryssa pulled her attention away from him, looking up at the manwhore with a soft look on her face as she spoke to him. Alex felt his fury build when she reached up to clasp her hand around his wrist. He turned away from the sickening scene, running his fingers through his hair to calm himself. A hand touched his shoulder, and Alex couldn't take her clinginess right now. He jerked from her touch, "Not now," He all but hissed at her.

Alex grabbed his bag, storming towards the school. He snuck a look at her, feeling his fury raise when he caught her pressing kiss to the manwhores cheek. Deep down, Alex knew the closeness of the two was temporary. Nevertheless, he was patient because he knew the manwhore would tire of her eventually. When the manwhore did, Alex would become her knight once again. He shuffled into his first class of the day, already knowing that he had to ignore them. Alex sat the furthest away from where his seat used to be. Lisa quickly sat in the seat beside him, "I'm sorry."

Alex looked at her and felt pity for her. He gave her the barest of attention, and she ate it up. However, she was temporary for him, and one day soon, he would have to send her away. "Don't let it happen again." Lisa nodded eagerly. "No more pictures," He added quickly, ignoring her pout. "We can hang out later," Alex left the suggestive words in the air, seeing Laryssa walk in the room with the manwhore close behind. They seemed to be in a disagreement because he noticed the displeased look on Laryssa's face. The breakup must be coming soon.

"No more," Lisa agreed, touching his leg with a small smile. She started telling him something, but he ignored her. Alex looked at her but focused more on what was happening over her shoulder.

He kissed her cheek affectionately, but she didn't seem pleased. He couldn't hear what was being said, but he saw him grab her hand, and she slowly rubbed his back. They smiled at each other before going back on forth. The manwhore turned away from her, and Alex could see Laryssa trail her eyes over him. Disgust and insecurity welled up in him because she never looked at him like that. Alex knew that the manwhore was teasing her because her cheeks turned the pretty shade of pink, but to his surprise, instead of turning away, Laryssa smiled at him. From where Alex was sitting, he could see the manwhore touch her lap. He silently pleaded for her to shove it away from her, but she took his hand with a smile.

Alex couldn't take it anymore, as he interrupted Lisa by turning away from her. He needed to talk to her because the scene just had to endure caused his patience to dwindle.

11:45 a.m. Outside the Cafeteria, La Push High, La Push, Washington

I bit into my Turkey, Havarti, and apple sandwich, chewing as I looked over Embry's sketch of a saguaro cactus. "What is this on top?" I gestured to the little balls on the plant.

Embry peered over my shoulder before digging through his messy bag. He pulled out a crumpled paper of the reference photo. "They bloom into flowers. Or fruit. I tried to get it as close as I could to the picture." He turned his head, glaring down at his drawing.

"I think it looks great. But, just add a little shading here," I pointed to the top of the cactus, "these need to be a little more defined, and you should add some more details to make it pop. Mrs. Stevens would like that you took extra time to add more things to your sketch. When is it due?" I took another bite out of my sandwich, savoring the apple. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warm sun on my skin.

"After lunch," I inhaled instantly, causing the food in my mouth to get caught in my throat. I tossed my sandwich down, coughing, nodding in thanks when he handed me my water. I cleared my throat, staring at his nervous grin with disbelief.

"Em!" I chastised, knowing that it would take him at least an hour to get everything completed, and we only had twenty-five minutes left of lunch. "You shouldn't rush! She can tell!" Mrs. Stevens had the eyes of a hawk, and she was a stickler for detail.

I felt soft, warm lips press against my temple. "You okay?" I nodded, fighting the blush that threatened to spread over my cheeks. It felt nice to be comforted by him. "I almost forgot. Here," he set a bag of red and green gummy bears beside my half-eaten sandwich. My heart warmed at the small gesture of him taking out the yellow and colorless ones. I had mentioned in passing the night before that I was craving gummy bears, and from the bag, I knew that he remembered from the beach that I hated the yellow and colorless ones. I didn't expect him to remember something so small and insignificant.

"Laryssa?" I shook myself from my thoughts, looking at Embry. He looked at me expectantly before his eyes darted back to his drawing. I knew that he was asking me to help him without asking me outright. I nodded because he had helped me in science.

"I got it," I moved my half-eaten food to the side, rummaging through my bag for a pencil. I knew that I could do a few quick things to improve Embry's grade.

"Oh no, I don't think so," Paul set his hand over the drawing. "She helped you it last time. What's that saying Sue likes to say?"

"It'll only take me a few moments," I interrupted, trying to move his beefy hand. Paul held his hand, no matter how hard I tried to move it. "Ten minutes at the most." Paul refused to move his hand, keeping his gaze on Embry. "Babe, really. Only a few moments." I moved, so I was in Paul's line of sight.

"Not the eyes," Paul groaned, and I knew I had him. "You and I are gonna handle this later," Paul growled, moving his hand as he glowered at Embry. "Last time Call. Tell me what Sue likes to say, and I'll let you off easy tonight."

"Be nice," I hummed, starting to work on the shading. A dark strand of hair fell in front of my face, and before I could move it out of my line of sight, Paul had reached over, tucking it behind my ear. "Thanks."

"I'm waiting." I could hear the irritation in Paul's tone. I let out a soft sigh, trying my best to finish quickly. I knew an argument would most likely break out, and I did not want to hear it. I looked at Em silently, telling him to go and I would find him. "Embry," Paul all but growled out.

"A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine." Em rushed out, rubbing his shoulder.

"But he helps me in science." I blurted, glowering at Paul. I set my pencil down. "Em, I'll bring it to you. Can you give us a sec?" Em nodded, practically running to where Jake was brooding. "Hey, please don't do that. I don't mind helping Embry. He helps me when I need it."

"Babe, you are eating. I know you don't mind helping, but I mind because you're trying to eat, and that fool is rushing you to do something that he had plenty of time to get done. I won't let anyone take advantage of you," Paul sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

I felt my rush of irritation give way. "I'll talk to Em." I rubbed his cheek, "I promise." I sent him a small smile. Paul turned his head, pressing a kiss to my palm. "I adore you."

"I know." Paul sent me a wink, biting into his apple. I rolled my eyes, turning back to Embry's sketch. "I adore you too," I smirked, focusing back on Embry's drawing.

"I know."

5:15 p.m. Chiago House, La Push, Washington

I looked at two of my favorite people, laughing with each other as they worked on my tires. They had been talking since we got out of school. Paul had explained the car to Jay, and Jay was eating up the information like a man starved. I hadn't known that he was interested in cars until I had listened to him talk and ask questions.

Jay glanced at me, sticking his tongue out at me. I glared at him playfully, going back to shading in his hair on my sketch. I jumped slightly when my phone started ringing. I set my things to the side, picking up my phone. I pursed my lips, hovering my thumb over the green button. I clicked the button, holding the phone up to my ear. "Hello."

"Hi, sweetie," The female voice filtered through my phone. I stood up, heading inside for some privacy. "I haven't heard from you in so long."

I shut the door, heading to the fridge, pulling out the tea I had made the day before.

"Mrs. Knight," I tried to sound upbeat, but my voice sounded off. "How are you?" The phone hummed as she chattered about how well her online jewelry business was taking off. I listened half-heartedly, pouring three glasses of tea. "That's wonderful to hear."

"I know! I was calling because I haven't seen you in a while, and when I tried to ask peanut about it, he got really defensive, telling me that it was none of my business," She chattered while I rolled my eyes. "What's going on, sweetie? Did you two fight?"

I set the phone on speaker, starting to cut wedges of lemon. Of course, it wasn't her business, but I knew how much she adored her son. "Sorry, Mrs. Knight, you're gonna have to talk to Alex."

"So you two did fight," She tsked, sighing into the phone. "Sweetie, we all have lovers quarrels." I sliced my finger with the knife cursing at the sudden pain. "Sweetie?"

"I got to go," I rushed out, hanging up the phone. I winced when I felt it burn from the lemon juice. I turned on the water, running my finger under the water. I clenched my teeth together, watching the blood and water mix. "I swear, Mrs. Knight is just as deluded as her son." I scoffed internally at her words. Lovers quarrels. Why on earth did she think that.

"Laryssa?" I heard Paul's footsteps come into the kitchen. His hand covered my hand as he looked at my bloody finger. "Sweetheart, what am I gonna do with you?" He went to the cabinet by the fridge, pulling out the first aid kit. He pulled the gauze out, setting it to the side.

"Share your fast healing perhaps," I joked, ignoring Paul rolling his eyes. Instead, I grinned to myself before hissing in pain when the water hit a particular sore spot. Paul frowned, pulling my finger from underneath the water, his frown deepening since my finger was still bleeding. Finally, Paul got the gauze, putting pressure on the cut. I winced, "or give me a kiss?"

"After I bandage you up," He sighed, looking at me. I pouted at him, pursing my lips. He tried not to smile as he leaned down to press a chaste kiss to my lips. I groaned when he pulled away. I snaked my hand on the back of his neck, leaning upon my tiptoes. He allowed me to draw him closer to me. "Laryssa." It sounded like he was warning me, but it made goosebumps rise on my skin.

"Paul," I whispered, pressing my lips to his. I groaned at the feel of his soft, warm lips. I felt my body warm when he parted his lips sightly to allowing my tongue to slip inside. He tasted like the red gummy bears we had devoured earlier. Paul pulled me closer, and the pain from my finger was forgotten. I pulled away, looked at him, a triumphant smile on my face as I took a quick breath before he surged forward, pressing his pillowy lips back to mine. It was like the kiss had awoken something in me, and I needed to be as close I physically could to him. Paul leaned down, picking me up at setting me on the counter. I gasped in surprise, and he had taken the opportunity to explore my mouth. He wedged himself between my thighs, tugging me closer. I let my hand trail to his jaw. He pulled away, glancing back. He rubbed his lips, sending a quick grin to me before I heard the front door open. Paul turned his attention back to my finger as he stepped away from me slightly.

I fought against the blush at my brother, almost catching us. "Let me just wrap it. The blood seems to be slowing." I nodded seeing Jay, come into the kitchen, grabbing a glass.

"Clumsy," Jay tsked, taking a big gulp. I glared at him, wanting to toss my shoe at him. "You know it's okay to share. You don't have to injure yourself to get his attention." I narrowed my eyes at his smirk.

I took a deep breath plotting my revenge, looking at Paul finishing wrapping my finger. "Good?" He nodded, and I hopped off the counter, sprinting towards my brother. Jay tossed his empty cup in the sink, sprinting out the front door. "I'm going to murder you," I called, gaining on the little twerp. I jumped off the porch steps, seeing him heading for the trees. I stopped, grabbing the soccer ball by the steps. I set it down, kicking it at him, snorting when it hit his back, sending him down. I jumped up, "score!" I danced, seeing Paul leaning on the steps, watching me with a smile. "Take that!" I ran towards him, seeing him turn, so he was lying on his back. I stood over him, sending him a grin. "Still got it, Runt." Jay glowered at me. I held my hand down to him. He took my hand, allowing me to pull him up, "you gotta admit, that was awesome. I really didn't think it would hit you."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm taking a shower," Jay tried to brush the dirt from his clothes. I grinned, turning away from him, so he didn't see me. Instead, I saw him smile at Paul before entering the house. Paul headed down the steps, walking to me. I met him in front of his truck, knowing he had to go soon.

Paul tucked my hair behind my ear. "That was a good kick, baby." He took my injured hand, pressing a kiss to my finger. "I have to get going."

I didn't want him to go, but I knew he had to go. So I cupped his face, "I know I don't have to tell you, but be careful. I want you to come back to me in one piece."

"Always," Paul pressed a kiss to my palm. "I'll get off at one, and I'll send you a text so you know I made it home. Don't worry, Laryssa." I nodded, stepping on my toes to give him a kiss. He met me halfway, pressing his lips to mine. He pulled back, whispering, "Everything I've never done, I want to do with you." He grinned at me, "There are so many things that I want to experience with you, and no leech will take that from me. Okay, sweetheart?"

"Okay," I sent him a smile. My heart was overwhelmed with him.

Paul leaned down, brushing his nose against mine. "I have to go. We can talk tomorrow morning, okay? Sweet dreams Laryssa." He pushed another kiss to my lips. I kissed him back, rubbing his arms, trying to will my hands to let him go. I pulled back, letting go of him, watching him get into his truck. He gestured for me to go in. I nodded, blowing a kiss at him, before going up the stairs. I went into the house, watching his truck pull away from the house.

I leaned against the door, setting my hand over my heart. I looked down at my finger, smiling at the bandage on my finger. I stood up, letting the grin take over my face. I went to the kitchen to clean up my mess. I stopped noticing that everything was already cleaned up. I saw my notebook and colored pencils sitting next to a full cup of tea. I grabbed the cup, taking a sip, sliding my phone into my back pocket. I glanced at my notebook, looking down at my sketch. I grabbed my notebook heading to my art room. I turned on the light, trailing to my new canvas. I sat down on my chair, holding my pencil.

"You remind me of dad," I jerked up, seeing Jay leaning in the doorway. "You look so much like him." Jay glanced down at his feet, wiping the side of his face. "Doesn't it hurt being in here?"

I pulled out the stool from underneath the table. My initials LMC were carved on the seat. I patted the seat, setting the pencil in my bun. Jay shuffled over to me, touching my initials. "Do you see that splatter right there?"

Jay nodded, "From dad's paint balloons, right?" I shook my head, staring at the paint splatters.

"No. When you were younger, dad would bring us in here and let us go wild. Mom hated it because this was the one room that was never clean. He always said that he wanted a home, not a house," I smirked, and I could hear him urging me to go for it. "When you would come in here, you always stayed inside the lines. It's just something that you liked, and no matter how much he tried, you never wanted to let loose."

"Doesn't sound like me," He winced, a frown overtaking his face.

"That neon green splatter was done by you. It was your first time coloring outside the lines. I remember you coming home from school, and you were so sad and angry. Dad sat with you right there. Trying to pry whatever was bothering you out. But you were a stubborn little thing and wouldn't budge. Finally, I think you asked him to paint you a bear, but Dad painted the thing you hate the most, right there on that wall."

"Broccoli." Jay smiled, getting off the stool, moving to the wall. He squatted down, touching the wall. "Dad told me to paint inside the lines. Then he just left the room. I was so angry because no one was listening to me. So I got the green paint in the ballon and smashed it against the wall."

"Then you just started messing with the paint, covering the broccoli, and you started crying," Jay wiped his eyes, tracing the paint splatter. He turned to look at me. "Dad came back with snacks, and he dropped them here," I walked over to where dad had dropped the bowl of grapes. "Do you remember what happened after?"

"Dad held me tight while I cried against his shoulder. But it felt so good. He hugged me, and I felt safe." Jay struggled against his tears, sitting against the wall. "You didn't answer my question."

I smiled at him, moving towards him. I sat beside him, pulling him into me. Jay laid his head on my shoulder while I stroked his hair. "It doesn't hurt. It feels like he's alive. Every time I come in here, I feel his presence. This is the only place I don't ache. All my happy memories are here. This very room is where you came out of your shell. This room is where dad proposed to mom. Where I learned how much I love art."

"I miss them," Jay sighed, wiping his face. "Mom might as well be... never mind. Y'know I tried to call her, and this jackass Oliver answered, and he wouldn't let me speak to her. So she must have another new assistant."

I rubbed his shoulder, stopping myself from chiding him for his foul language. Instead, I focused on steeling myself for the uncomfortable conversation.

"Remember when you asked me if it bothered me if mom cared more about fame than us," I murmured, glancing down at him. He nodded, sniffling. "It bothers me. I feel like we are forgotten. There are some things I need to tell you, and it's gonna hurt."

"What happened," Jay shifted away from me, wiping his face harshly. "Does it have to do with mom?"

I nodded, fiddling with my hands. "I don't know when, but Grace got married, and she lied about us not being able to make it. So she is not gonna come home," I felt like my throat was closing up. I watched several emotions run across his face before he settled on anger.

"No, she would tell us." Jay denied, standing up and starting to pace. He opened his phone, dialing his phone. Jay put it on speakerphone, listening to the beep of the voicemail. He hung up and redialed it. His aggravation skyrocketed when the beep from the voicemail sounded. With a cry, he hurtled his phone against the ground. I flinched when I felt a sharp sting on my cheek. "She abandoned us." He screamed, "What did we do that was so wrong?" Jay's hands clenched into fists. "I hate her. She loves that damn book more than us." He sat down, pulling his knees to his chest. He yanked on his hair, sobbing into his knees.

I crawled to him, grimacing when I felt my weight accidentally balance on a shard of his broken phone. "C'mere." He didn't fight my pull. I tucked him close to me. I couldn't pull him on my lap like I used to when our parents fought. Instead, I rocked him in my arms, humming to him. "I've got you."

"I miss Dad," Jay grabbed my shirt, holding onto me like I was his last lifeline.

"Me too," I held him tighter. He would know what to do. "When you're ready, we will face this together. I got you, okay?" He nodded, squeezing my arm.

TRIGGER WARNING BELOW:

I just wanted to take a moment to remember the 215 Indigenous children found in a mass grave in Canada. My heart breaks because not many people know what happened, and it was not covered in the mainstream media. I urge you to look up what happened to the 215 indigenous children and discover the truth and horrors of residential schools. The mass grave of 215 indigenous children found is bringing up generational trauma for indigenous people. To my brothers and sisters who are mourning or having old wounds reopened because of the trauma, I implore you to reach out to someone or contact the disaster helpline at 1-800-985-5990