Maker's Breath

by mythicalbard

Kassy was just an ordinary gamer, who was obsessed with Dragon Age, Dragon Age Inquisition to be exact. She never expected to be apart of that world, except through her cosplay group. When she was transported to Thedas, she realizes all the characters were real. Now she has to find a way home, try to fit in with this world, and catch the commander's eye. Slow burning romance.

27. Chapter 27

I do not own any characters. They all belong to the Almighty Bioware. Love to my beta reader Eruya! Long time no write, am I right? Thank you for all the follows and the reviews! They seriously make my day whenever I get one and inspire me to write. ALSO…was thinking of making this an audio on Youtube. Would anyone be interested in me doing this? Hope you enjoy this chapter! Rated M for language and lemons. Reminder: Please give any song requests or anything like that you would like to see happen! Kassy will totes make it happen. You guys are amazing!

Chapter 27

"I'm telling you, Dorian! Talking to Morrigan was painful," I explained to him fervently as we climbed another step. Dorian had an arm outstretched and ready as I took another stair, making sure I didn't fall down. It has been a couple weeks since the dreaded Morrigan conversation and I have been avoiding her. Mostly taking refuge in Dorian and Hawke. To make myself feel more myself, I decided it was time to gain back my strength, as little as it was, and Dorian insisted he would take that training upon himself. The mage's brilliant idea…making me climb stairs to the library. That way no one was watching, and, in the end, I gained the reward of knowledge. Insert eyeroll here.

Dorian's mustache twitched a bit as he kept his chuckle silent and gave a teasing smile. "Come now. She is much better than Vivian and much more entertaining than Solas." I noted the gleam in his eye, and I knew he had more time to acquaint himself with her, while I only had a little while.

"I guess," I muttered and placed a hand on the wall as I took yet another step. "Doesn't make her less intimidating. You are aware that she can turn herself into a giant spider, aren't you?" In game, Morrigan was never the one that I felt strongly for, but she was a bad ass no doubt. Even if she tried to get Alistair to have a baby with her when the Hero was romancing him. Looking back, it seemed silly to be so jealous of the ceremony, but also come on Morrigan. What did you expect of me? I'm just a gamer girl unwilling to share her goof of a Grey Warden. The only consolation would have been that Morrigan would have hated the act more than Alistair. The anger was mostly, she ran away since I didn't convince Alistair to do the deed with her. Just like Solas will do to Branwen. Might do? That was still unclear. It's true, we should always be wary of the mages.

"A spider!" He exclaimed in fake shock. I gave him my, okay I get your point stare and he automatically laughed and took my arm in his. "Now, now. You have seen far worse than spiders."

True I have. The past few days I have avoided thoughts of the Qunari if I could, directing thoughts elsewhere or distracting myself with a song. Music. I've missed music. Real music from home. How I longed for a good bass and some pop tracks. There is only so much I could do to relive that here. Yet, I was here. In Thedas. Dating the Commander of the Inquisition. Correction, in love with the Commander of the Inquisition. Living the dream of any gamer fantasy.

"Yeah," I finally said, obviously distracted. So many thoughts were turning in my head. The main one was how I wished to find a way to get stronger faster. Knowing this was impossible, I shook my head and turned to look at Dorian, forcing a smile on my face. "What are we learning today?"

He could tell I was changing the subject and he let it go. Thank goodness for this mage ignoring my awkward ass. "I thought maybe we could do some history today. Perhaps on the kings of Fereldan since you have such a fondness for the current one." I swore a twinkle came into his eye as he effortlessly offered a comfortableness to the conversation.

Letting out a short laugh, I felt a wave of pride as I got to the top stair. "Good. After that workout I could use a good nap." I set my hands on my hips and faced him, ignoring the muscles in me. I let the pain of them echo through me as I drank it in, almost liking the feel of it. The feel of my muscles responding and finally working after not being able to for so long. Yet, the longing took over briefly to be rid of this need for strengthening. What good was magic if it couldn't heal me faster? However, that kind of thinking only caused frustration, and right now, I had my best friend wanting to help me through this. The thought that I have come much farther than expected in the last few weeks crossed my mind and I mentally rolled my eyes at myself.

Dorian's smile disappeared, replaced with an annoyed look mixed with shock. "Nap?" I could see the want to roll his eyes growing in him and I wondered if he would. The want won out and I watched his eyes roll masterfully before landing on me again. "Honestly! What is the point in these strolls if you aren't wanting to learn?"

I covered my mouth, so he didn't see my smile, knowing now was not the time to further anger him. After a moment I bit my lower lip thoughtfully and nodded slowly, giving a show of thinking of a good answer. "So, I may stare upon the glory you provide by your handsome and heart stopping good looks." That was a sincere answer. Dorian was handsome and his presence brought me calm. "Besides the fact that being in your mere presence is a gift in itself."

Correct answer. That was exactly the appropriate reply. Dorian greatly approves would be flashing on the side of the screen right now. Dorian's eyes instantly lit with pleasure and his lip quirked into a side smile as he thought upon the answer. "Well, I suppose there is more to me than just limitless knowledge."

"I suppose," I agreed, nodding fervently. "Exactly as I said." I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall as I shifted my weight on to my other foot. It felt nice to joke like this. Things were going back to normal. I adjusted my shoulder so that my fur sat more comfortably on me, Skyhold still chilly with winter. Spring was on its way, and everyone seemed ready for it. Or at least I hoped it was on its way. It isn't as if they had a groundhog that could tell me. Or did they? A little nug popped its little head up and tells us how much more winter there would be according to the little nug shadow. Things to talk to Leliana about. She would probably decree that nug day would become a thing. Also, I think I deserve new shoes. Don't I? Note to self: Conversation with Leliana must happen soon. The list of people to talk to was growing longer and I was happy to watch it expand.

I smiled at myself with the thought and shook my head lightly. That's it. Today would be a good day. I am determined to make it so. I could feel it. I mastered the stairs and soon, I would be able to start on sword. That was the dream! Cassandra promised she would think on it, but I knew that if I asked Bull he would help. Bull. Now that was someone I have yet to have one on one time with. I knew it would have to happen soon. Dorian knew I avoided conversation about him, though I no longer avoided him out there. Though Saarebas cringed when he was near. No. Never again. Remember? I must push the thoughts away. It was going to be a good day, remember? Thoughts like that were forbidden. You hear me self? Forbidden.

I started feeling a bit faint at the thought, and I slowly slid down the wall, hearing my lute scrape against the stone as I did so. I should have cringed at the sound of my beautiful instrument being scratched, but my mind was occupied. My head started throbbing and a thirst awakened in me. No! The calling growing louder and louder as the need lulled me into a deep trance. I felt my breathing increase and the pain started slow this time, before reaching out to other parts of my body, letting it spread like roots through my veins. I could almost feel it as the call grew. Lyrium a voice seemed to hiss. This was different this time. Different than any of the other times. The pounding in my head grew as I swore my brain pulsed like a cartoon heart. Thump thump. Thump thump.

My fingers dug into my leggings, and I squirmed uncomfortably, closing my eyes and letting my head fall back. I gritted my teeth and tried to fight against the call, knowing that it would pass and praying that it would be soon. Saarebas doesn't get to win. I let out a deep breath and I heard the hiss that came with it. Forbidden, remember? Lyrium. The voice echoed. Maker, no. No, no, no. Remember the rush? The feel? Saarebas, give it to me. Yes. No. Yes! I felt the argument happen in me and I cringed from the sharp aching at the no that I continued to repeat, refusing to give into the voice. I tried to remember what Anders said about fighting it, but the lure of the voice was growing on me. That voice though. How long has it been?

"Kassy!" A voice called before a sudden pain across my face took me away from the seductive voice in my head. "Don't let them win." I knew that voice. Yes. Focus on that voice. The authority of command with all the calm that hundreds of years of life has provided. I felt myself panting as I looked into grey eyes that held mine in deep concentration. I kept his gaze as I forced myself to breath deep again and let it out. Did Solas just slap me? Is that what we came too now? I never thought he would. Almost out of character. But then again, who am I to judge what an ancient Elven god did?

My heartbeat was still quick, but I felt myself starting to return to me. Confused, I kept focusing on the god, getting lost into the almost gray comfort. Solas seemed to be staring into my soul as his depthless eyes studied me. Almost like he was looking for something. Or was it someone? Either way, I hoped he didn't find them. I didn't want to deal with the voice anymore. I thought that part of me was far behind me. Left back in a fucking Qunari cell. Back in a different life. You think I would be good at doing that. Leaving lives behind. Where were these dark thoughts coming from? Was it the withdrawal still talking in me? Was it….him? No. I got rid of him. I went to the Fade and defeated him. Didn't I? That was real? Wasn't it? No. You are Captain King and you are a force to be reckoned with. A soothing strength seemed to immerse into me, clearing my mind and soaking into my muscles. It was such an odd sensation.

"There," Solas declared as he seemed to see what he was looking for. I felt a sigh leave me and for the first time in a long time, I felt almost…. peaceful. He stood up and his hands went behind his back as he watched Dorian reach a hand down and help me up. I accepted, noting that it didn't take as much effort as usual. Dorian rubbed my back, and I tore my attention away from Solas to Dorian, giving him a small reassuring smile.

His grey eyes seemed to shine with understanding, and he returned the smile as he continued to rub my back. "Shall we continue to my corner of the world?" Dorian offered his arm and I started to take it debating about sitting in my thoughts in the library as Dorian teaches. The thought of sitting in the library seemed very unappealing. I wanted to walk. To use these muscles, as if the muscles themselves were begging to be used properly. Or maybe I just needed time alone. The lyrium after care differed every time. Maybe this was what was needed this time. I ran a hand through my hair, choosing my words carefully.

"Actually, Dorian," I began, glancing toward the opening to Vivian's balcony. I saw the sunlight peeking through and I felt drawn to it. To the warmth and comfort, it provided. The joy it always brought. "I think I am going to walk this off if that is alright." Focusing on the mage again, I saw the disappointment flash for a second in his eyes and I felt guilt wash over me. "But I would love to do the tavern today. In an hour maybe?" Please don't be mad with me, I begged inwardly. I hated disappointing him.

Grey eyes sparked with humor, and I could see the pleasure that the idea brought to him. Good. That seemed to please him. "Perhaps I could forgive your wicked ways with that proposal." He raised an eyebrow as he focused on me. "Drinking and music does sound very appealing. Perhaps, even some cards if you would grant that as well."

I couldn't help the teasing smile that tugged on my lips, and I nudged his shoulder with my own. Music and drinking did seem like a very attractive idea. "I could be tempted." I felt the warmth of friendship wash through me, and my chest hurt with love for my best friend. Without thinking, I reached out and pulled Dorian to me, wrapping my arms tightly around him. He was surprised at first, but then he held me back for a moment, letting himself be fully in the moment.

The teasing was almost gone entirely with this hug and for the first time besides with Cullen, I felt safe. I felt the tightness in my chest, and I kept the sudden need to cry at bay. Not now. You are okay. You are fine. "Bring Bull," I said in a wavering voice. "It isn't really a tavern time without him." As I spoke the words, I felt the truth to them and the certainty. I was ready for it. After all, I was determined to take today into my own hands and make it a very good day. Taking a step back I took in Dorian's face, wondering how he would react.

Knowing him as well as I did, his reaction was what I thought it might be. Dorian studied me for only a moment before he nodded, and I could see a hint of joy at the ability to have Iron Bull hang with us again. He hesitated for a second, studying me to see if I truly meant the words. He knew how big of a deal this was. Even declaring it. With a soft voice, he just kept my eyes, the emotion in them saying everything his words never could. "I will make sure he joins."

"Good." I nodded briefly and really admired Dorian then and there. The sappy part of me was awakened and I knew it would take a lot to close it. He really was more than I could hope for. Him and Hawke. Even away from home, they seem to see me. Well, the Kassy at her core. Though a large part of her was left far away from Thedas. Though I've grown in ways I never dreamed I could because of these people and the things I've been through. Those experiences made me realize how strong I am…well that is what everyone is saying. I would like to think that I was just doing what I had to do so that I could stay me. Captain King. The person who already changed their life in the biggest way possible and is still standing.

Letting Dorian go I took a step back and gave him a huge smile. Something inside me told me that I would get past all of this. Though moments would always come to haunt me once in a while, I knew that the only way for me, personally, to move on from this is to just realize that this is what Thedas is about. That you take what has happened to you and grow from it. Make new ones that help mask the old painful ones. Take your weakness and turn them into strengths.

"Well," I said slightly awkwardly, shuffling my feet a bit and tucking my hair behind my ear. "I…I am going to go, but I will see you in a bit." I glanced around and turned a bit to go before turning back, not sure how to leave this moment. Even Dorian seemed to be beyond his comfort zone, both of us putting down walls without realizing. I kicked a pretend rock, deciding leaving was the best option. "Kay. I'm gonna go now…for reals." I waited a couple beats more before turning again slightly. "Kay…bye."

I hurried away from the chuckles that sounded as I headed down the stairs a little quicker than I thought I could. Whether it was from adrenaline or from a god above, I didn't care. I had the strength of a past me suddenly. The muscles seemed to respond more to me, and the ache of them was dulled. The peaceful soothing still in my muscles from earlier. Curiouser, curiouser. Was this because of the lyrium attack or was it…I froze as a realization came over me. What was it I just thought? A god above. An elven god perhaps?

Slowly, I spun and stared at the bald elf who had made his way back to his desk, unaware that I realized what he had done. Dread Wolf healed me? How? Why? What was his motive? Why now? Why not sooner? Were Solas and I truly becoming friends? Maybe this world truly was turning to be different than I knew. Could the outcome truly be different? I took a deep breath and felt so much more like my old self in this moment and no matter what answers this elf gave, the fact that he was helping me would win out. Fucking Solas. Don't make me love you.

A book was open in front of Solas as he walked with it open, the serene face never changing with the words. I didn't seem to have control of my feet as they moved forward of their own accord, and I didn't know the emotions in me. Couldn't name them. All I could do is realize that this elf had so many different sides. Was it that I never understood his story? Did I truly know his story? Was he a Thanos or was he truly a villain? Why did he always have me asking so many questions to myself and never being clear with answers? Before I knew it, I was standing in front of the wise elf, a hand on his book as I lowered it.

Our eyes met, and I couldn't tell what he was thinking, like usual. Ever since I came back, he was a mystery and yet not. Was he changing his mind? Did he want to help strengthen the veil instead of letting it fall? Were his motives the same still? I wanted to ask these questions but knew it was fruitless. The book closed and he set it gently on his desk before putting his attention back on me. I felt suddenly awkward, not knowing what I wanted out of this encounter. So instead, I did what I knew he probably hated most. I wrapped my arms around him quickly for a hug. "Thanks Dread Wolf," I whispered into his pointed ear.

Arms awkwardly and briefly embraced me, but just as fast those arms started peeling me off him. Solas seemed to look smug as he gently moved me away, his gray eyes assessing me. "Captain, I have no idea what you are talking about." However, the way his eyes moved across my face told me differently. I wanted to ask why. I wanted to know what possessed him to take pity on a mere human, but I knew that there was going to be no answers, like usual from this god elf. Honestly, I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth and just be fucking grateful. And I was. Extremely. It didn't fucking matter his motives…right now.

"When you get the chance," I began, licking my lips and shifting my weight. "Could you help me with something? I think I did something to Nightmare in the Fade and not sure if I really did it or just…put him on a brief intermission."

Solas seemed intrigued by this information and his head tilted in the way it always did when talk of Fade and spirits. "Of course," he answered, choosing his words wisely. "When you have the ability and mental strength to revisit this moment, then I am free."

"Thanks friend," I told him gently, truly never feeling more grateful as I did now. I took a step back from him before hesitantly taking another. I knew that it was taking all of me not to pull a Kassy and finger gun him and just leave. I let my thoughts wander as I walked backwards toward the door to the rampart. Between Dorian and Solas, I was feeling more…me. I am Captain King, and I am a force to be reckoned with. I almost snorted as I felt a hand turn into a finger gun and a see ya escaped my mouth before slipping into the sunlight of the rampart.

Closing the door, I leaned against it, admiring the way the sunlight reflected off the snow on the rampart. Winter did have its beauty sometime. I took a step out into the light, feeling the warmth soak into me, mixed with the cold wind. I was glad that I was gaining weight again, having more flesh to my body, making me feel more like me. Food. How I missed you. Hesitantly, I started walking, feeling my muscles work in ways they missed doing. Responding like old days. Yes. A couple days and for sure I would be able to train with a sword again. I could feel it! Hell, maybe even tomorrow! At that thought, I picked up speed down the rampart and I felt a smile light up my face. A real genuine smile. How long has it been since I did that?

I was fast walking and my muscles wanted more. I wanted more. Without hesitating I moved my legs faster, feeling the slight burn from the almost forgotten yet familiar feel of the movement of the muscles in my thighs as I began to run. I laughed, slipping only slightly on the ice as I did so. I twirled, lifting my chin up toward the sunny sky, and watched my breath show in the cold. Welcome back, Captain King. Yes. It was a glorious day indeed.

Twirling again, I gave a happy sigh and jogged toward Cullen's door. I paused for only a moment before throwing the door wide open, out of breath from the small jaunt. Cullen glanced up as the door banged against the stone and he raised an eyebrow at me, an angry retort about to come out of his handsome mouth. He swallowed what he was going to say as his scowl turned into a soft smile. I returned the smile, my chest still rising quickly from the exercise. God, I loved this man. I grinned brighter and knew the joy I felt enter my eyes. His own seemed to turn more whiskey as he studied me, as if he forgot what I once used to be like.

A clearing of a throat broke the connection between us, and Branwen chuckled as she glanced between the two of us. Her obvious amusement in her voice. "Commander, should I leave the two of you alone?"

Cullen blushed as he rubbed the back of his neck and turned to the Inquisitor. "That won't be necessary Inquisitor." While an automatic, "It's cool if you wanna stay," came out of my mouth. His whiskey eyes went to me again and I gave him a huge grin. That relieved look came back to him, along with a look of complete love that he reserved only for me. A look that not even the game could have captured, no matter how good the graphics. My heart beat faster again.

Branwen however, caught the last look. Her own blue eyes were studying me, taking note my new attitude. She almost seemed relieved to see the change amused at my newfound attitude. "No, I will come back. I have matters to discuss with Solas anyhow," she stated as her eyes flickered between Cullen and me. She gave a laugh and shook her head as she walked toward where I was standing, knowing it was the quickest way to her own heart. "Captain, Morrigan said she had a talk with you in the gardens a bit back. She found it…quite interesting. I was wondering if you were available for a meeting in an hour? To discuss what to do next since it seems like you are feeling better."

Forcing my eyes from Cullen, I gave a polite smile to Branwen. "Of course, Inquisitor. Though I promised Dorian drinks in the tavern, so I won't be staying long." She nodded her approval at this, knowing Dorian and his dramatics if one was late for plans. I didn't have an outfit he might deem worthy as a fashionably late entrance. "As for feeling better, it seems that I have a god on my side."

The blonde elf chuckled and gave my shoulder a pat before leaving, shutting the door behind her. As the latch clicked, our eyes went to each other's again and I felt my cheeks lift into my eyes from how big the smile on my face was. I knew the next words out of my mouth would sound almost stupid, but they tumbled out before I could think of what I was saying.

"I twirled," I gushed excitedly as I hurried to his desk. Amber eyes filled with amusement, but he knew better than to interrupt. "And I ran!" I exclaimed as I gave a twirl, arms out. He was standing with his arms crossed in humor as he took me in. I walked around the desk and touched his face, his arms automatically going around me. "And I laughed," I almost sighed in relief, not knowing I didn't think I would genuinely laugh again. I stroked his cheek softly and my eyes were on his mouth before slowly trailing up to his eyes. "I found a big part of me again," I whispered, the smile fading from my face as my eyes held his with an intensity I didn't expect to have.

I felt a hand run up my side, tracing my curves and neck, before cupping my face. There was an expression on his face I couldn't quite place as his eyes took me in. His thumb rubbed my cheek and my hand fell to his chest, feeling the hardness of the chest plate beneath his fur. "Maker, I've missed you," he muttered, his voice full of emotions before he swept me into a kiss that was different than the ones since I came back. This was a kiss people wrote songs about. This was a kiss of two people who desperately missed each other. This was a kiss of two souls finally finding each other again. A kiss that set a fire in your belly and tingles in your toes. A kiss like in the game with the Inquisitor. No. A kiss like two soulmates finding each other again.

I returned the kiss, urging my lips to keep up with his, giving him just as much passion as he was to me. My hand moved from his chest, and I pressed myself up against his chest, my fingers finding their way into the curls of his hair. He moaned at that, and his hands slipped to my butt, pulling me closer. I felt a groan in my throat as I left his mouth, trailing kisses down his jaw before coming back to his lips. His breathing became erratic as he walked me back to his desk, lifting me onto it. My fantasy, sex on Cullen's desk.

I shrugged out of my mantle as his lips moved to my neck, causing me to moan. I felt his fingers pulling at my shirt and I helped him rip it off me, holding onto his shoulders as his mouth moved to my breasts. My back arched toward him, wanting more of him. His other hand traced the outside of my breast, teasing me. I felt my boot being pulled and it thumped to the ground, my toes curling in the cold air. He moved to the other breast as the second boot landed on the ground as well. Lips were on mine, and I let him move me closer to him as my leggings were pulled off.

My own fingers were unbuckling his belt, feeling the lacing to his pants. He lifted my chin as I almost finished unlacing, and I felt a thrill go through me again at the look in his eyes. It was if we both found some part of us in the past few minutes that we have been missing. That was lost when I was taken. That we didn't think we could recover. Here we were though, not missing the chance to jump on this moment together. To cease the passion that took us over. To go back to our roots. To be us again.

Cullen pulled me toward him again, his lips finding mine as he entered me, and I moaned at how full I felt. The thrill of knowing anyone could walk in on us in this situation made the moment even better. His forehead was against mine as he pumped into me, my legs around his waist, trying to be as close as allowed. A hand twisted into the fur of his mantle, while the other was on the back of his neck. We both were moaning, not bothering to try to be quiet and his name escaped my lips as he went faster. I leaned back on his desk a bit, bracing myself on my elbows only thinking about the toppling items briefly before my eyes closed and my head fell back. His strong hands were on my hips as he continued, pulling me back to him as my name fell from his lips.

Right now, I felt incredible. Sexy. Confident. Myself. And he was sure of himself as well. Knowing exactly where to touch, my name slipping from his lips. I was close, I could feel it. I was almost there and so was he. I adjusted myself on him, feeling him even deeper, causing me to clench around him as I came, holding onto him closer as his breath was on my neck. Cullen came quickly after, holding me nearer as his head fell into the crook of my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him, holding onto him, kissing his neck as I smiled against it, laughing softly. "I think I messed up your desk, Commander," I said into his ear.

Cullen chuckled, still trying to catch his breath. His hand went into my hair and the other around my waist as he held me closer, still in me. I held him back, taking comfort in his strength and smell. In the way it used to be, well almost. I did a quick squeeze before turning to kiss him on the lips soundly. "La Vie en rose, Lion," I whispered, grinning against his mouth.

"La Vie en rose, Love," he replied, his smile broad as my giddy mood filled him. I giggled softly at that, still filled with wonder on how he gets me to always feel this way. As if every time I see him, I fall even more in love. Or maybe it was my mood. Either way, I fucking loved this man.

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"I've already said my opinion on this, and it is to follow Morrigan's advice," I told Branwen, glancing over at the witch herself. "She knows about the mirror and what we should do. Do as she says and things will go well." I was amused with my secret play on words. Hopefully the Well was something that we went to do.

I could feel Cullen's eyeroll from across the table rather than see it. He was with Alistair on the whole "don't trust Morrigan" mantra. I ignored him, looking over at Leliana. "You traveled with her. You know just as well as I that she knows what she is talking about, especially when she is invested in the results."

"As I've been saying all along," Leliana agreed, her eyes also going to the Inquisitor. Light blue eyes taking in what was being said by her advisors. I could tell Branwen was more on the side of Cullen. No doubt that Solas had some words prior to this meeting with her. What were his opinions now? Would he be for or against it?

To me, it seemed like Branwen needed time to think. We had all been arguing our points for a half hour now. I myself was wanting to hurry to the tavern and based on what I could remember, we had to follow the mirror. Although, I was getting worried. My knowledge and remembering for events were getting hazier.

What would happen when I couldn't remember what happened in Thedas? I guess the main points would always be there. Don't kill Chargers. Watch out for mages. Even then not all of them. Just some. Like Morrigan, Solas, and Anders. And yet, here I was. Telling the Inquisition that they should put their trust in Morrigan because honestly, she knew best. Then there was Anders, whom I've grown very close to. One of the best healers I have met and though his actions were a bit extreme, he was one of the kindest people I knew. Finally, Solas. The god that came through in my darkest hour. The one that continues to surprise me. The god that healed me and though I know what he may yet do, has sneaked his way to a soft spot of my heart.

Perhaps, it wasn't the people themselves, but the actions of others that put them there. If we killed Morrigan's mom, if we talked down Justice in Anders, if someone showed Solas the good of other races along with elves. Here we were, standing in a war room discussing what to do next and soon the knowledge I knew would be pointless anyhow. I knew the inner workings of Thedas. I remember bits and pieces of codex. Or would I become irrelevant to the Inquisition? Not to the point that Branwen would throw me out, but to the point that I was just there. For Cullen.

What would he think when I forgot? It was becoming clearer to me that soon, this would mean nothing. That I would be faking it till I make it. Which isn't something I was super comfortable with. Staying here with Cullen was a dream. To marry him. To have children. To have all of that. It was the new plan. I gave up the dream to go home long ago. Accepted it, actually. The stupid nagging feeling kept poking itself into my brain though, what would you do if you did find a way? Would you take it? Take a world you are more familiar with? A world that made sense. A world that didn't hurt as much. A world where there was Dad. The safety of family. No. Automatic no. I was home. And I had a family. Get outta here negative thoughts.

The main question that I hoped I knew the answer to but wasn't positive about was would Cullen still love me, even after I become irrelevant? Eventually, I would have to accept that Cullen was indeed desperately in love with me. That he meant every word he said. That his kisses weren't merely for the things I did. That it was for who I was. Who I became. The new person that formed here in Thedas. Maybe it wasn't Cullen accepting me, but me myself. Not a maybe. That is what it is What a fucking day for revelations. And anxiety. Take a bow anxiety. You have been center stage for most of this meeting. Now please exit stage left. I mentally pictured one of the people from Inside Out hand over the mind controls. Much better.

I vaguely heard the voices of the others and I felt myself come back into the reality of here. Slowly, the voices became words I registered and felt relief that it was Leliana and Cullen bickering with each other. Feeling my panic lessen, I felt the uneasiness of being watched. Glancing around the small group, I paused when I saw purple eyes studying me. Not in the way Solas did. His was always with curiosity. No. Morrigan seemed to be sizing me up. Wondering what was so special about someone like me. Then I remembered. Opening rifts. Solas teachings. There was a reason to keep me even without knowledge. I was a bad ass bitch. It was time I acknowledged it.

You are Captain King, and you are a force to be reckoned with. My lips curled into a soft smile as she continued to examine me with those mysterious eyes. She seemed amused, which could be a good or very bad thing. Taking a deep breath, I let the worry go from my shoulders. No more of this anxiety. You are here with your new family. With people who love you no matter what you remember or what you can do. My eyes went to Cullen, and I felt myself instantly relax even more. That man was going to love me no matter what.

I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard Branwen tell the group she would decide the next steps soon. A chorus of "yes, Inquisitor" rang and I watched her sigh. Small talk began and I knew the meeting was officially over. Taking my urge, I went over to grab Cullen's face and kiss him soundly. Amused chuckles filled the room, and I knew Cullen would be red faced as I pulled away. I didn't care though. We were dismissed and that meant I was able to kiss this man.

"My, my Josie. It seems like something was rekindled since we last saw the Captain and Commander together," Leliana teased, her voice filled with mischief.

"Ah yes, you are correct. What could have happened that your eyes were not privy to?" Josephine played back. I chuckled at that, knowing last time Leliana was privy to something it was a whole lot of naked Kassy and Cullen.

I chuckled against Cullen's mouth, as his eyes rolled at the two. His hands were on my waist as I pulled away, grinning broadly at him. "I gotta go meet Dorian now, but I love you and I will see you later." I gave another quick kiss before heading quickly to the door. "Oh, and Leliana! I need to talk with you later. My attire is need of an update and I have some nug related questions!" Leliana just grinned in amusement, obviously not expecting that from me. "Bye!" I winked at Cullen and waved at the others, seeing them all snickering at Cullen's red face, before slipping out into the hallway, but not before hearing a "Oh shut up," growled by Cullen.

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"And another toast to our dear Kassy and her hopeful return to the stage of this fine establishment," Dorian crowed, holding his tankard high. Bull followed suit lifting his tankard in the air as well. "To Rift!" I laughed, hitting my tankard to theirs before drinking it down. When was the last time I drank ale?

The energy of the tavern was high, and many tables were filled with boisterous laughter. What I was worried about I couldn't remember now that I was here. Even seeing Bull so close, though there was something, more like someone, in my mind trying to remind me what he was, I couldn't help but feel the camaraderie again. He was anything but like the Qunari that hurt me. That wrecked me. He was Bull. Adios bad thoughts. Hello fun night.

There was a roar from the table nearby, and then collected groans as someone won at a gambling game. Ah, the old familiar sounds of home. Dorian was in a very pleasant mood as he happily drank from his mug before grabbing a piece of cheese from the plate in the middle of the table. "You will be singing for us this evening, will you not?" His gray eyes pierced me with a friendly yet intimidating look.

"It has been a while since we had good entertainment," Bull agreed, leaning back in his chair, getting more comfortable. He let an arm drape on the back of Dorian's chair carelessly and I felt another tug at the corner of my mouth. It was nice to know they were doing so well.

I lifted my cup to my lips, trying to take in the warmth that this night was providing. A vast difference then the many previous nights. I shifted my weight in my seat, trying to get into a more comfortable position, my legs getting restless from sitting in the same way for so long. My lute fell against my leg as I shifted, and I reflexively grabbed it before it hit the floor. One of my favorite possessions. The strings rang out as my fingers hit them and I felt the thrill of them run through me.

There was a bang and I lifted my head in surprise as a table was pushed into ours. Hawke grinned broadly at me as he slid into a chair, slipping another cup of ale in front of me. "Mind if we join?" He inquired, Varric and Anders already settling themselves at the joining table.

I felt my smile grow even bigger as even Blackwall took a seat. "The more the merrier!" I informed them, finishing the ale in front of me quickly before the other one got warm. I sighed, pushing the empty cup away from me. "I forgot how much I love ale!" I exclaimed before reaching out and grabbing cheese from the plate. "And cheese," I added, happily dancing as I took a bite. Varric chuckled at my dancing and the others seemed to be in just as good as moods as me.

"I'll cheer to ale," Hawke laughed, lifting his cup to his mouth before hesitating. "Why not. Cheese as well! I've cheered for weirder things." His eyes sparkled in amusement as he drank deeply, taking me in. "You seem to be in a good mood."

I nodded, swallowing my mouthful. "I am," I declared as I grinned at him. "I have strength back, I'm here with my friends, and I am going to be making my grand return here at the finest establishment that Skyhold could give us!" The ale was hitting me quicker than I thought, but I enjoyed the tingling feeling it gave me.

"You mean it?" Dorian asked, his grey eyes filled with excitement. I could tell he missed the old days we used to have. The old Kassy. I nodded, grabbing my full mug and taking a sip. His smug grin told me he had been waiting for a while for this announcement. "Took you long enough," he muttered before drinking his own ale.

"Whatcha doing here?" Sera crowed as she settled herself at the end of the table, her hair messy as always. Captain Purr peeked out from under Ander's robe then and jumped onto the table. "Here for a fun night?"

"Aren't all the nights fun nights here?" Bull questioned, amusement on his face. He glanced around the tavern before nodding his head at someone. "Krem de la kreme!" He shouted. A responding "Chief!" echoed through the tavern before Krem joined the table, grinning broadly as he took me in. "Rift!" He exclaimed. "Nice to have you back!" He grabbed the chair and reached over to the next table, taking their ale.

I gave a grin back, happy to have my small crew here to drink with. Zevran joined the table, setting down a tray of drinks as he did so. "In for a wicked night, no?" He inquired. With that word, it gave me an idea. I needed to learn Wicked Grace. I had to.

"I declare," my voice rang out and my group stopped their small talk to each other, focusing on me in amusement. "That we make tomorrow Wicked Grace night." I glanced at all the people there, seeing approval on their faces. "We will drink!" I sang out glancing around. Bull let out a "yeah!" "We will get embarrassingly drunk!" I continued, getting laughter from the group. "And one of us will walk away very victorious. Or…however the game is played. I really don't know, but someone will still walk away victorious!" Varric caught my eye and I saw the gleam in them. This is what we all needed. A fun night to look forward too. "Spread the word!" I finished, grinning at them all and lifting my cup up again before drinking. Even Blackwall shook his head in laughter as he drank.

"It should be fun," Cole's quiet voice said as he settled himself near us. "It's been odd here. Different without you." My blue eyes took in his pale ones, and I grabbed his hand as he sat near me. "Like a mask that has been taken off. It doesn't define you. You are a force to be reckoned with."

I felt my mouth twitch into a smile, repeating those words to myself again. I took a couple more gulps of ale before kissing Cole's cheek. "Missed you too," I whispered to him before grabbing my lute and standing. Cheers erupted from the table and even Anders was chuckling in amusement. "I'd like to thank you all for being here," I began, looking at the crew around the table. "Now if you excuse me…I have some songs to sing."

The table burst out in applause and whooping as I gave them a slight bow and adjusted my lute, strumming to make sure it was in tune. Maryden noticed the commotion and gracefully bowed to me before heading to the bar, Cabot also looking at my table in amusement. Many of the other tables turned their attention to me and I cleared my throat before figuring out what song to sing. Sing loud and proud, Kassy.

A song filled my mind instantly and I began the notes of "Legends are Made" by Sam Tinnesz on the lute, feeling the power of the song fill me. "I've got that lightnin' inside me, Son of a God. I'm like a titan that's risin', Oh, just you watch! I'm steppin' into fate. There is no time to waste. I've got that lightnin' inside me! This is how legends are made!" The crew was looking on in approval, Hawke broadly grinning as he was sucked into the song and the lyrics.

I studied the others as I sang, noticing that the tavern was starting to fill again as it used to. Interesting. Soon people were joining in on the "ooh, ooh, ooh. This is how legends are made!" Bull and Krem smacking their cups together as they sang it, fully into it. "Like iron. From the fire. Gettin' stronger." Cullen's blonde hair caught my attention and I felt myself get even more inspired, focusing on the lyrics. "This is how legends are made. Above it all. Untouchable. A new animal. This is how legends are made!"

I couldn't help grinning as the song finished and the tavern filled with cheers. I forgot how great it was to bask in that. Glancing around for Cullen, I saw him slip into my empty spot at the table, leaning over to talk to Hawke, a grin on his face. Were they friends now? Wonders of wonders. Miracles of miracles.

Cabot was walking by with a couple mugs, and I grabbed one, needing to clear my throat. He raised an eyebrow at me but shook his head, chuckling as he made his way through the crowd. I saw Cassandra move in through the crowd and I was almost stunned. Cassandra? Here? In the tavern? I felt a wave of warmth for my friends, and I set my mug on the step nearby as I took another sip. The Beatles filled my thoughts and I chuckled. Sure. Why not?

I started moving my shoulders a bit as I began the chords to With a Little Help from my Friends. I smiled over at the table but then scanned the tavern, grinning as I saw Branwen make her way into the tavern as well. "What would you do, If I sang outta tune? Would you stand up And walk out on me?" I raised my eyebrows and shrugged my shoulders, glancing around the tavern. Laughter was scattered throughout the tavern and I even heard Hawke cry "never!" at those words. "Lend me your ears And I'll sing you a song. And I'll try not to sing Outta key. Oh I get by with a little help from my friends!"

Many were starting to sway with this song, tapping their feet as I sang away. A few even looked at the people they were sitting next to, shrugging in agreement or giving smiles. Leave it to the Beatles. "Do you need anybody? I need someone to love. Could it be anybody?" Heads were now banging with the song as I continued, walking around the tavern, singing to tables as I passed by. They lifted mugs as I passed or gave a smile.

As the last note rang out, the tavern erupted into applause again. I gave a huge grin at everyone, giving a slight bow. I grabbed the mug from the stairs and headed back to the table, feeling a bit of a high from either the performance or the beer. No, the high was from the performance. The buzz in me was from the ale. I made my way back to the table, settling into the chair next to Cullen. Cole made his way onto a barrel, smiling at me as I sat.

"Bravo," Dorian praised, pure happiness and amusement on his face. I laughed as I grabbed some bread and took a bite. "As always, flawless performance. Though the attire," he began as he looked over my outfit.

I glanced down at it as well, nodding in agreement. "I have Leliana on it," I said after swallowing my bite. "Unless you'd rather?" Dorian's grey eyes lit up as if I gave him a perfect gift. "The opportunities," he told me as he studied me. "I accept." Bull shook his head, and I felt my smile widen.

A hand grabbed mine and I instantly met Cullen's whiskey eyes. His eyes were full of warmth and worry free. Like he was actually enjoying himself. Suddenly, I didn't want to be here in the tavern anymore. As much as I was enjoying myself, I'd rather be with Cullen. I felt a smile on my lips I reserved only for him before turning to the group. "As much as I want to stay, I am actually pretty tired. Big day for me," I told them, starting to stand. I saw understanding and amusement from many. Hawke and Dorian both knowing exactly what I was wanting to do. I ignored their looks and amused coughing. "But I will see you all tomorrow for Wicked Grace."

With that, I grabbed my lute and pushed my chair back. Cullen did the same, excusing himself as he followed me. "Wicked Grace?" I heard Zevran ask as we exited the tavern. I sighed as I walked into the fresh air, letting my arms out again and breathing deeply. A deep chuckle had me open my eyes and peek over at Cullen. "Laughing at me, Commander?"

Cullen shook his head, a blonde curl falling down as he made his way to me. "I just missed you, Love." His voice sounding amused. I lifted a hand up moving the curl from his face as his arms went around me. His knuckles brushed the top of my cheek, and I felt the butterflies erupt in me. Welcome back butterflies. I leaned forward, kissing him, letting my lips do the talking that my words couldn't. Fuck I loved this man.

"Your bed tonight, Lion?" I asked, my hand going down to lock with his as I pulled him toward the stairs that led toward his office. Cullen chuckled and gave me that heart melting grin. "Or did you not fix that hole in your roof?"

Surprise was the first emotion on his face before he started laughing full heartedly. "What?" He managed between laughs.

I shrugged and kept on walking, a smile still on my face. "Is your bed covered in snow or-?" He pulled my arm, grabbing me in and silencing me with a kiss. I felt his smile on my lips as he finished the kiss. "Maker's breath, I love you."

Maker's breath, I was excited for my life with this man. And for Wicked Grace and the many stories it will bring.