The next few days after the blowup with Komekko, things settled into a more comfortable normal… with one exception. Darkness and her pouting.
She sat at the table in front of the chess board with a mournful little look on her face, "Oh that's enough, Darkness." Megumin said and moved a piece from one spot to another. "It's been a week and my little sister has stopped pranking you."
"That is why I am pouting. I was always wondering what new degradation or pain was awaiting me… now everything is so… banal." Darkness grumbled and moved a piece to take that of Megumin's side.
"Oh. Oh. Ohhhhh…" Megumin said, and snapped her mouth shut. 'Pervert.' She thought.
"Stop pouting, it's not like you've got reason to do it, 'I' on the other hand…" Aqua stood up from her spot on the couch, touched her forehead and put a hand over her heart while she glared across the room, "a magnificent goddess of the highest calibre, must endure the burden of sharing my home with a demon of all things."
"A dirty demon."
"A dirty, filthy demon."
"A dirty, filthy, foul smelling demon…"
Aqua piled on the insults and crossed her arms over her chest, she turned up her nose and said with a blunt, angry voice, "I'm going to be the one suffering here. Can't we get Kris or someone to watch her?"
"No, after Kazuma stole and ransomed her panties, she's still embarrassed to be seen around him, I don't know if she thinks he's a pervert or if she's afraid people will think she's into that stuff." Megumin said and moved another piece on the board.
"And a demon is better?!" Aqua exclaimed.
"Yes." Darkness said, "Vanir has always been nice to all of us… especially me." She sighed with bliss and hugged herself a moment, recalling the blissful agony he put her into the day they met. 'Perhaps he'll let me wear him again and do that some more!' It was a blissful thought that distressed the crusader in her favorite way.
"Yeah, he kind of is, nothing wrong with Kris but… she's a thief, it's a dangerous line of work and we can't expect her to live here when we need her to, but Vanir works in town full time. He really is the best option." Megumin replied.
"Indeed I am!" Vanir shouted as he came into the room.
Aqua whirled to face the demon, stretch out her hand and started to shout, "Exorcis-"
Kazuma chucked a ball of wadded up paper out of his hand, it sailed over the space between them and struck Aqua in her face. "Hey!" She shouted and rubbed her forehead.
"Finish that spell and I'll freeze you again and make you thaw out in the bath, and while you're thawing out, maybe I'll watch… and you can watch me drink your favorite bottle of expensive booze that you keep hidden under your bed!" Kazuma snapped.
Aqua cringed, rocking back on one foot with a terrified face, open mouth, wide blue eyes, "You wouldn't!"
"Oh I would! This is happening and you're going to deal with it! No exorcisms, no demon vs goddess fights, nothing! Just let him mind Komekko and don't cause any problems!" Kazuma snapped.
"Yeah!" Komekko shouted, running into the room behind them and hopping up toward Vanir's back. A mound of earth emerged where she was landing and rose to his height, allowing her to hop directly onto his shoulders where she grabbed onto his hair.
"Yes, I'm sure the little one and I will get along very well! She tells me she has an interest and the talent in magic like her sister… but without the… how was it she said it… oh yes, pervy stuff. Though I don't think she quite knows what that means." Vanir said and reached up over his head to pat the top of Komekko's hair when she leaned forward and gave sage little nods.
"So yes, I will be tending to our tiny wizard, along with Wiz occasionally." He put a hand to his forehead, "I know you didn't ask, but I must find some way to keep that incompetent from ruining herself financially. She likes children, so that will work out. Now my boy, I understand you plan on heading out soon?" Vanir said, they ignored Aqua muttering while she flopped onto the couch again.
"Crumby undead with a crumby shop… just great, a lich and a demon as daycare… probably turn her into a succubus or something while we're gone… perverts and…" Aqua went on and on, and was ignored more or less politely by the others.
"Yep, based on what I've been able to work out from the stories, I think the guy headed off to one particular spot, but it'll take about a month or more just to get there. There's only one problem." Kazuma said and turned his eye from one team member to another.
"Don't look at me, I'm not putting any of my skill points into dirty things!" Aqua said, "I'm a goddess! Not a miner!"
He turned his eye toward Megumin.
"Explosion is the only skill for me!" She snapped.
"And I'm afraid my class is not able to learn any of the skills you wish… no matter how you punish me… I will fail you… but don't let that stop you… from making me pay for my failure!" Darkness lost herself in her daydreams, hugging her body and wiggling in excitement.
Kazuma pursed his lips and jerked a thumb over his shoulder toward his team. "Them. You see. I'm the only one both willing and able to learn a few skills that will help us out there… but I don't have the points. So… I've got to take a few small jobs first."
"Yes, I see... well my boy if you're willing to accept quests from a demon, there are some things I need done. I was going to go to the guild but…" Vanir's words were interrupted when Aqua shot up onto her knees, clinging to the wooden top of the couch's back she shouted at him…
"No! No quests from a demon! That's where I…" Aqua shouted and pointed at Vanir, then her eyes went wide, "Eep…" She had enough time to mutter.
Kazuma's arm shot up, "Freeze!" he shouted the spell, ice and snow covered the goddess, encasing her utterly, leaving her unable to even blink. He sighed, "Darkness, take our useless goddess into the hot bath to thaw her out, we should be done talking by then."
Muffled cries came from within the ice as Darkness obliged.
"Of course." Darkness replied, rising to her feet and hefting the block of Aqua over her shoulder like an undignified sack of potatoes.
"Now what was that about a job?" Kazuma asked.
"Yes, I was wanting to branch out into useful potions, you see the succubi establishment sometimes sells 'enhancements' to their customers for things not involving dreams, but they don't want to pay exorbitant import prices. I can mix them easily enough, but the ingredients are tough to find and tougher to kill." Vanir explained, and Kazuma briefly recalled the near extinction of rhinos over the eating of their horns for erections.
"Wait, I'm not going to hunt some magic rhinos or anything, am I? Because I don't know about that." Kazuma answered while scratching his head.
"No, not exactly, whatever those are, these are plants… very aggressive plants. Weeds, really." Vanir explained, "When they grow wild they're quite the problem. But they're easy enough to manage as long as you keep them in a pot and away from other fertile soil."
"This is still sounding kinda sketchy dude… I should probably pass, maybe check out the other quests on the board…"
He could feel Megumin's silent stare on his back, "Good for you, Kazuma, that doesn't sound like a fun quest."
"The plants explode magnificently." Vanir said with a dry voice and eyeballing Megumin.
"So when do we leave?" Megumin asked and hopped out of her seat with staff in hand.
Kazuma rolled his eyes, "I still don't know."
"I'm sure the succubi at the shop would be very grateful if they knew that their newfound profits were all because of you. Who knows how they would show their gratitude?" Vanir asked, and though his mask could not raise an eyebrow, the silence that followed was filled with Kazuma's own daydreams.
"Right so… where is it that we're going to be going exactly?" He asked, then turned to Megumin to quickly add, "Go help thaw out the useless goddess, I want to be gone within two hours."
"Right!" She said and rushed from the room, her feet moving so fast that she made an echo that rendered conversation impossible until seconds after the door slammed like a crash of thunder behind her as she rushed off to help Darkness thaw out Aqua.
Kazuma listened as Vanir explained a few things about the plants, where a patch of them were sighted, and what he would need to accomplish to complete the quest.
"They're going to hate this quest." He finally said when Vanir was done.
"But you should gain enough skills to accomplish your goal." Vanir pointed out. "Or do you prefer to fail and be stuck with that bothersome goddess for the rest of your life?"
"I'm going to go pack our things and get ready to go, why don't you make yourself comfortable." Kazuma replied and sauntered from the room.
From atop his shoulders Komekko clung to Vanir's head and looked down, "So, Mr. Vanir, what are we going to do while Mr. Kazuman, sister, bimbo lady, and boob lady are gone?"
Vanir laughed long and deep, and answered her, "Oh, we'll do some reading, writing, arithmetic, some magic of course, then we'll get you started on demon contract law with a focus on temptations."
"Temp-ta-tions? Whasat?" Komekko asked with a little tilt of her head.
"We'll get to that, my little crimson demon, we'll get to that, just be patient." He said and went to sit her on the couch.
"But… I don't want to wait." She pouted and crossed her arms, looking away from him in a huff.
"And that's the first lesson." Vanir proclaimed, flinging his arms open wide, "We're going to have such fun together!" He shouted with a laugh, prompting Komekko to do the same, and adding her own relentless clapping to the excitement that was about to begin.