Sleep.

Such a fickle thing in Regina's life. There were nights were exhaustion, mentally and physically, took her away immediately. And there were nights where she laid awake for hours and chased the sleep while the shadows chased her. Sometimes she could lie and stare at a point in the room because she was certain she had seen Killian's shadow there. Of course she never did, but her mind was a scary place to be.

How would she sleep tonight in this train, she wondered. Would she even be able to? After having been isolated in a hospital room, this crowded place was a lot to take in. Regina shifted in her seat. Flipped a page in her book. She had deemed that 'Murder On The Orient Express' was a suitable choice, and she was quite happy about it still. It was only now that she had started to enjoy reading again. Only now was she capable of enjoying a good book. Before, she hadn't been able to concentrate, and the words had danced on the page. It had been a terribly frustrated time for her, because Regina was quite the reader. She had always loved books ever since she was a little girl. Ever since her father read 'The Velveteen Rabbit' to her for the first time.

Regina turned another page in the book and glanced out of the window. Canada's landscape rolled past. It was quite soothing, really. Perhaps this train ride could be a part of her therapy. There would be a lot of therapy in her future. She adjusted her scarf slightly. Was she paranoid, or had it slipped some? They couldn't have that. She didn't want anybody to see her bandaged throat.

The blonde woman sitting across her made some kind of noise in her sleep, and Regina looked up. The train ride had barely started, the lights not even dimmed, and yet the blonde woman was capable of falling asleep. Quite impressive. Regina certainly would not be able to. Not with that much noise around her. There seemed to be quite a lot of children on board on this train.

The blonde woman made another soft sound, and Regina's attention was divided between her and the book in her lap. Her curiosity won and she looked up at the blonde woman once again. Her face was almost hidden beneath that mane of blonde hair, and Regina thought to herself that there was something oddly vulnerable about this woman's way of sleeping. The way she almost curled up in her leather jacket and made herself look smaller was childlike in some way. Regina caught herself wondering where the blonde woman was going. Hopefully to a place where she could sleep better. Surely, sleeping all curled up like that couldn't be comfortable.

Oh well. Regina turned another page in her book. Things were starting to heat up. Poirot was starting to catch on. Clever fellow. Her father had always loved Poirot. Movies and books. Regina couldn't count how many times they had watched Poirot together. She missed that a lot.

Suddenly, the blonde woman jerked awake with a sharp gasp. Her gaze was confused and slightly alarmed as she looked around in the train, and Regina immediately symphatized with her. She knew exactly what it looked like to have a bad nightmare, and she suspected that was exactly what roused the blonde woman from her sleep. As she took short, sharp breaths, Regina found her phone in her purse and began typing on it. 'Is everything okay?'. Perhaps the blonde woman would feel that Regina was meddling, but she couldn't resist. She turned the phone screen to the blonde woman and waited in expectation. Perhaps she would be met by a 'it's none of your business'. There was no way of telling, really.

The blonde woman leaned in and blinked as she looked at the phone screen. Then she nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit of a bad dream that's all."

Regina nodded. Exactly as she suspected. She slipped the phone back inside her purse. Discreetly smoothened a hand over her scarf just to make sure that it was still sitting like she wanted it to sit. Shifted a bit and looked down at her skirt. Now it bothered her that she had been so distraught earlier. It was just a skirt, for crying out loud. She could wear a skirt whenever she damn well wanted to. There were no rules for what kind of clothes she could or could not wear. At least not anymore.

Regina bit her lip and before she trailed off completely, she opened her purse again. Found the thermos and cup Zelena so thoughtfully had packed for her earlier. Good thinking. Regina loved coffee, and she had so missed it during the week after the surgery where she had not been allowed to drink it. That and solid food. Being on a liquid diet was truly horrible. She popped the lid off the thermos and poured herself a solid cup of coffee. The smell tickled her nostrils and made her perk up slightly. Good. She had been fading a little. Getting tired again. That was something she would have to work on in the future. Sleeping less. She would be of no use to Henry if she was asleep all the time. She had done her fair share of sleeping at the hospital. Now it was time to wake up. Literally.

That was when she noticed that the blonde woman was looking. At her cup of coffee. The minute she realized, the blonde woman was quick to glance out of the window. She was clearly pretending that she hadn't just been looking at the cup of coffee, and had she been capable of doing so, Regina definitely would have laughed. Now she settled for reaching across and tapping the table between them gently. When she was certain she had the blonde woman's attention, she leaned forward slightly and lightly pointed to the thermos and then back to the blonde woman. Heavens know she hated expressing herself by pointing, but it was the quickest way to do this. She didn't want the blonde woman to sit and yearn after coffee when she did not have to.

The blonde woman frowned slightly as she asked: "are you asking me if I want to have a cup of coffee?"

Regina nodded eagerly and relived. That was easy. Thank god the blonde woman understood what she was trying to say. Otherwise she could have been known as the strange 'tapping lady in the train'. She found her phone in her purse and began tapping on it. 'Yes, exactly. I'm sorry for pointing at you.'. She turned the screen towards the blonde woman.

The blonde woman chuckled lightly. "That's alright. And yeah, I would kill for a cup of coffee right now."

As suspected. Regina whipped out a second cup and poured some coffee into it. She slid the cup of coffee towards the blonde and tapped a new message on her phone. 'Sorry I don't have milk or sugar.' After a few seconds she turned the screen towards the blonde once more.

"That's fine," she assured. "I prefer my coffee black anyway. Thank you."

Regina smiled at the blonde's gratitude. She sounded very genuine. And surprised. Maybe it had been a while since she last had been shown an act of kindness. The thought of that sort of made Regina feel a little sad.

The blonde took a sip of her coffee and coughed slightly. Maybe it went down the wrong tube. Regina's own throat tightened painfully at the sound, but she reminded herself that it was too early for painkillers. She couldn't stop herself from raising an eyebrow before settling back with her own cup of coffee and her book though. She tried to get immersed in the story once more, but it didn't take long before she found herself to be thinking about Henry again. She hoped that he didn't miss her too much. Maybe he understood why she needed to do this. Why she needed to do this on her own.

Or perhaps he did not understand. And perhaps it was far better if he did not. Regina took a sip of her coffee, savoring the taste, and then turned another page in the book. Hercule Poirot was as entertaining as always. Perhaps she would start watching season one when she came back to Vancouver. She didn't exactly have much else to do at the moment. No job. Regina felt a pang of sadness. She missed teaching. But she could not do that anymore. You couldn't be a teacher if you could not speak. No, she would have to do something else. Eventually. But not right now. Right now her most important job was to get back on her feet as her doctor so delicately had put it.

Regina still wondered how on earth she was supposed to do that. It wasn't like she had been away on holiday or something. No. She had been through a living nightmare. Barely made it out of there alive. She wasn't even sure she still had any metaphorical feet to stand on.

Regina took a deep breath. Told herself not to think about it. Not now. She had already been through one panic attack today. She wasn't so sure she could handle another. She became aware that the blonde woman's cellphone was ringing. Regina noted that the blonde seemed to be ignoring it at first but then changing her mind and bringing it up to her ear. She did not say anything. Clearly listening to a message, then. Once she was done listening to it, she sighed deeply, and Regina was sure she heard one or two curse words muttered. She caught herself wondering what that had been about, but then she remembered that it was none of her business. She should not be so nosy. It was impolite. Her mother had drilled that into her a million times.

Regina took a sip of her coffee and glanced out of the window. It felt nice, knowing that she was on her way home...

Regina was not in the mood to leave her seat when it became lunch time. She stayed seated without eating. Zelena and Henry would have scolded her for it if they were here, but Regina's appetite was still lacking because of the strong pain killers she was currently taking. She was not hungry. But she would definitely have dinner, of course she would. Taking her painkillers before bed on an empty stomach would only make her feel woozy from experience, she knew this.

If she could have her way, she would have stayed put for every single meal, but while it was optional at lunch, you had to head down to the dining area to have dinner. Regina did not want to. She hated eating in the presence of others. But she did not have a choice. Not unless she wanted to starve, that was, and that wouldn't exactly be ideal.

So she left her seat and headed down to the dining area. The place was almost overly crowded, and Regina briefly felt her heart rate speed up before reminding herself that she was okay. The crowd of people was not something she needed to be scared of. Not even those four children in the corner that seemed to throw bits of food at one another while the parents weren't paying attention. Regina scowled slightly as she walked past them. For the life of her, she could not remember a time where Henry ever had thrown food. Well, of course there was that one time with the oatmeal, but Regina still continued to see that as accident. She refused to believe that her innocent little prince could have done that on purpose. She shook her head slightly. Perhaps she was too much of a softy when it came to Henry. At least that was what Zelena always teased her about. Regina didn't fully agree. Perhaps she wasn't an overly strict mother, but she wasn't a lax one either. She was a good blend. Regina refused to be like Cora. She had definitely been a strict mother. Everything Regina tried not to be. She always tried to be like her dear father. Raise her son with the same kindness and patience as her father had shown her. Her father had been such a kind, gentle soul, and Regina saw much of the same kindness in her son. He had inherited many traits from his grandfather. Thank god. Fate had prevented her son and father from ever meeting one another, but it consoled Regina to know that Henry was so much like his grandfather.

She found an empty table and settled down. It did not take long before a waiter found her. He prattled on about today's special being roast and potato, and even though she didn't have much of an appetite, Regina put on a smile and nodded eagerly to let him know that she wished to order that for dinner. Luckily, he understood what she was communicating. Thank god. Regina hated being forced to whip out her phone to communicate. It was impolite. And especially on restaurants. Oh dear god, how was she supposed to order food at a restaurant in the future?

Maybe she simply wouldn't. Go to a restaurant, that was. Maybe she would settle for staying home. Home was good. Home was safe.

Sensing that someone was approaching her table, Regina looked up, and she was surprised to discover that it was the blonde woman she sat with.

The blonde woman flashed her a smile. "Can I sit here?"

Regina nodded.

"Thanks," the blonde said, and there was that unabashed gratitude again. She sat down on the chair across Regina. "I don't mean to sound bitchy, but that family over there..." she grimaced slightly.

Regina smiled. No, that family was definitely in a league of its own. The blonde woman was completely right about that.

The waiter came back with Regina's roast and potatoes and her glass of water. "There we go, one roast and potatoes," he announced. "Are you sure you don't want a glass of wine to go with it?"

Regina shook her head. Mixing her painkillers with alcohol would definitely not be a good idea.

"Alright then." the waiter turned his attention to the blonde woman. "And what can I get for you?"

"Oh, uhm..."

Regina discreetly looked at the blonde woman as she quickly flipped through the menu on the table. She seemed oddly flustered and it didn't take long before she said: "I'll have what she's having. Roast and potatoes."

Regina nodded slightly to herself. Good choice. She turned her attention back to the full plate in front of her as the blonde ordered herself a glass of red wine. Regina felt slightly envious. She missed a good glass of wine. Red wine in particular.

As the blonde woman sitting across her started looking around in the dining area, Regina picked up her cutlery and started cutting her meat into smaller bites. She hated doing that. It was so childlike. But she had no other choice. Her sore throat still couldn't handle larger bites. She would have to put up with this for a little while longer. She speared one of the pieces of meat on her fork and slipped it between her lips. Perhaps she wasn't overly hungry, but she had to admit that this was a good steak. The meat was very tender. Delicious, really. Perhaps her appetite was starting to return. That would please Zelena. She kept claiming that Regina had lost too much weight.

Regina knew that she had lost too much weight over the past year. She had been obsessing over her diet. Killian didn't want a 'fat' wife, and he had frequently told her that while they were eating. So she had started to make smaller portions for herself. And sometimes skipping meals all together. Settling for a 'healthy' smoothie before he came home from work. She had been monitoring her waistline and had experienced stress like symptoms when it looked like it had expanded just the littlest bit. She had been terrified at the idea of gaining weight because she was certain Killian would be able to see it right away. She had been so focused on making sure that he was happy.

Her throat suddenly tightened around a piece of meat. Regina put her knife and fork down abruptly. It clattered against the plate, but she barely registered the sound. The pain almost made her eyes water. Was it physical or psychologically because she just had been thinking about Killian? She was not sure, but she knew that she needed to take one of her muscle relaxers in order to be able to continue the meal.

"Are you okay?"

Regina looked up, surprised. She had not expected that the blonde woman had noticed. She couldn't quite smile, so she settled for tapping her throat lightly once.

"You got something stuck in your throat?" the blonde woman guessed and frowned slightly.

Regina shook her head and tapped her silk-covered throat once more. For some reason she wanted the blonde woman to understand exactly what was going on.

"Your throat hurts?" the blonde woman asked.

Regina felt relieved as she nodded. The blonde woman understood. That was good. She opened her purse and found the bottle of pills she was looking for. She quickly popped the lid off and tried not to cringe too much. She tilted the bottle and one of those precious little white pills slid into her open palm. Regina quickly popped the pill inside her mouth and downed it with lots of water. It would start working in about immediately and then she would be able to continue the surprisingly delicious meal. She took a breath, swallowed, and then took another bite of the steak. Carefully swallowed. Oh yes, so much better already. Thank god.

"I'm not trying to be nosey or irritating, but are you alright?"

Regina looked up once more. Nodded and smiled a little at the blonde woman before continuing her dinner. She was a little embarrassed about this. Making a show out of eating. But she did find it sweet of the blonde stranger to care enough to ask. Lots of people had asked Regina how she was feeling, but for some reason she found it to be less irritating when it was a stranger who asked her. It felt less invasive, somehow.

To Be Continued...