It wasn't that Regina had experienced a great big 'aha-moment'. Her sudden flareup had not made her completely tranquil in her decision about telling Emma Swan the truth.

She had gone back and forward in her decision a lot.

One moment so completely sure that it was the right thing to do.

The next so terribly insecure and imagining that the truth would scare Emma away. That she would think it too complicated to pursue any kind of relationship with a woman who was so scared of everything. Including touches and kisses. The two most important things when it came to dating.

She went over things with Zelena many, many times. The pros and cons. The things she was afraid of. That Emma would look at her differently. With pity in her eyes. That she would start feeling sorry for Regina. That was what Regina feared. That Emma would start to pity her. Treat her like a delicate flower. One of the things Regina had cherished about Emma was her ability to recognize the woman Regina had been before the attack. It hadn't mattered to Emma that Regina couldn't speak. And now Regina was terrified that it would change. That everything would change. And then of course there was the fact that she had lied to Emma. Told her about an accident that never happened. Emma was a very truthful person, Regina could sense so. And Regina had lied to her. To keep a terrible truth hidden, yes indeed, but it was still a lie.

And there was a chance that Emma did not forgive a lie that easily.

There were many things that could go wrong. Many, many things.

Zelena was patient and sat through every single worry Regina that. To a degree where Regina had been ashamed of how terribly fickle-minded she was. But Zelena had of course brushed that aside and said that it made perfect sense that Regina was nervous. And in the same breath, she told Regina how proud she was of her.

Regina wasn't so sure that there was anything to be proud of, really. Honesty was something that should come naturally. She should have been honest with Emma from the very beginning. Not giving out every last detail, that would have been too much, too quickly, but she could have given a watered down version about having been in a relationship with a man who didn't treat her that well. It would have been enough to explain why she sometimes reacted like she did. And it would have been a fairly easy truth to give out too.

So really, there was nothing to be proud of. Nothing. She was a goddamn coward who only found it necessary to tell the truth because she had been backed into a corner and was too selfish to let go of Emma.

There was not an ounce of bravery about that.

But perhaps she would feel brave once she had told Emma the truth. And perhaps she would deserve to feel brave then.

The night before they were supposed to meet at Eugenia's Inn, Regina could not sleep. She was much too anxious. But not in pain. Thank god. Anxiety was something she could deal with. She had tried it so many times before.

Sometimes yoga helped. Sometimes the deep breaths her therapist had taught her did the trick.

Sometimes she could even sleep it away.

And sometimes she could not.

On rare occasions, she had to get out of bed and do something else than trying to sleep. And tonight was one of those nights.

The alarm clock showed 02:15 when she slipped out of bed and wiggled her feet inside the fuzzy slippers Henry had gifted her with when she turned thirty five. She also slipped on her terry-cloth bathrobe to shield herself from the cold. Then she quietly opened the door and peered into the hallway. She could hear Zelena and Chad snore quietly from Zelena's bedroom.

Regina patted down the hallway, quiet not to make a sound. She stopped when she reached Henry's bedroom. The door was half open as usually, and his little nightlight was glowing softly. She peered inside his bedroom and smiled at what she saw. Henry was lying completely spread out with his left hand dangling over the edge of the bed. The covers had slipped off and was bunched at the bottom of his bed.

Regina knew that she should not be disturbing him. He was sleeping so deeply. But it was a cold night, and she didn't want him to freeze. His pajamas wasn't exactly made of wool. She quietly slipped inside his room and gently tugged the covers up again. Then she gently picked up his wrist, so his hand wasn't dangling over the edge. He hated when his hands was dangling over the edge of the bed. It stemmed from an age old childhood fear about 'the monster under the bed'. A classic childhood fear. Along with the fear of monsters in the closet.

Regina had fears about the monster in the closet too. But her monster was not a hairy creature with a mouth full of sharp teeth. It was Killian Jones grinning at her.

Henry had dreams about Killian too. Just last night, he had woken up yelling for her. Regina and Zelena had nearly collided in the hallway in their eagerness to get to him first. In the end, Regina had been the one to do it. The one to handle the situation. She was reclaiming her old spot in Henry's life. She was his mother in every situation. And last night, it had been a bad situation. Henry had had a nightmare. A terrible one. At first, he hadn't really wanted to say what it was about, but with lots of hugs and patience, Regina had persuaded him to tell the truth. And the truth had hurt like hell.

"I dreamed that Killian crashed the car on purpose," Henry quietly had told her, and Regina's heart had broken. Such a twisted version of the truth. Such a heart wrenching version of what actually had happened.

Regina had held her son tightly and done what she always did. Assured him that it had just been a stupid dream.

But dreams could feel very real, Regina knew that. Dreams could harm. But she would always be there whenever her son woke up. Always close by to assure him that nightmares wouldn't last forever.

Nor would hers.

Henry mumbled something in his sleep, and Regina quietly rose from the bed. She did not want him to wake up. It was late, and he needed his sleep.

So did she, but sleep seemed to be quite the fickle thing tonight. Oh well. Perhaps she would start to feel sleepy once she had been roaming around in the kitchen for a little while.

She quietly went down the stairs, cleverly avoiding the creaky step and continued into the kitchen. She didn't switch on the light. She didn't need to. Knew the kitchen like the back of her hand. And besides, the light could potentially be bothersome to those asleep upstairs. She wasn't interested in waking the whole house just because she could not sleep.

And she was not afraid of the shadows tonight. She did not see Killian lurk in them for once. It was a luxury. And in a way expected too. Killian didn't take up as much mind space when she had an appointment with Emma. She was too occupied with thinking about Emma. Didn't have as much time to think about Killian.

Regina pottered around in the kitchen for a moment until realizing that she wanted some warm milk with honey. That had always worked on Henry when he had a sore throat, a stomach ache or was just generally upset. So why shouldn't it work on anxiety too? Regina was sure that she once had read a fairytale in which everything was fixed with a cup of warm milk.

She immediately went to work and found the milk, honey, a cup and a small casserole. She switched on the stove and poured the milk into the casserole. Still didn't switch on the light. It seemed so unnecessary. It wouldn't be the first time she had operated a stove in complete darkness. There had been a time where a three year old Henry had been completely hysterical and demanded warm milk right then and there. There hadn't been time for something as silly as switching on the light. Or anything else for that matter. Henry had been quite the demanding little boy when he was younger, and most of the nights, Regina had tumbled to bed before ten o'clock. Exhausted. But happy. Henry's drippily smiles had made everything worthwhile. And although his smiles are less drippily now, they still made everything worthwhile. He was her living reminder of why things weren't completely bleak.

Regina was honestly not sure where she would have been today if it had not been for her son. Would she still have the same drive to solider on?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Either way, that was not something she wished to think about right now. She got the stove going, and soon the milk was boiling merrily. Regina found the sound to be quite cozy and she even stalled a little before taking the casserole off the stove, so she didn't ruin the milk. But as masterful as she was when it came to making warm milk in complete darkness, the same thing could not be said for her lack of control over her left elbow. She accidentally knocked said elbow against the cup and sent it flying onto the floor where it shattered into a million pieces.

Regina closed her eyes for a moment. God damnit. So much for being subtle about her nightly need for warm milk. Oh well. What was done was done and could not be changed (unfortunately), now she just had to clean up the mess she made before alerting anyone. She still couldn't hear any movements from upstairs. Everyone had to be sleeping really heavily. That was a good thing. Regina knew how much she would hate to be woken up to the sound of something breaking downstairs when the entire family was supposed to be asleep upstairs.

She flicked on the lights and was pleasantly surprised when overlooking the situation. The shattering had sounded worse than it was, and despite what she had expected, the floor was not covered in tiny little pieces of the cup she had just broken. Most of the broken pieces were fairly big and easy to spot. That was good. And it was even better that she hadn't poured any milk into the cup before accidentally knocking it over. That would have made an even worse mess.

Regina crouched down and began to pick up the pieces of the broken cup and put them into her cupped hand. It was just a plain, white cup. Not one of the fancy ones Zelena had inherited from Regina's father. Nor was it the one Henry had made for Regina when he was in kindergarten. The red one with the big, white dots and wonky handle and 'I LOVE MOMY' with one 'M' written in big, brightly yellow. Henry hated when she used that cup, and he always cringed and wrinkled his nose and begged her to toss it out.

But never in a million years would Regina throw out the cup. No way. She would keep it until the day she was old and wrinkly and potentially had grandchildren who could tease their father about the cup he once made for his mother. And if the handle ever fell off like Henry was hoping for... Well, then she would simply glue it right back on. Separating her from that cup wouldn't be as easy as Henry thought.

Suddenly, as she sat crouched down on the floor in the middle of picking up the broken pieces, a shadow fell upon her. Regina flinched and looked up, and for a single, terrifying second, the person standing in the kitchen was Killian looming ominously over her with the belt in his hand.

But then she blinked, and the frightening scenario turned into what it actually was. Chad standing in his pajamas with a horrified look in his eyes. "Oh my god," he said as he crouched down on the floor too. "I am so sorry, Regina. I didn't mean to scare you."

Only now Regina realized that she had dropped all the little broken pieces and that her hands were shaking. How embarrassing. It was just Chad for fuck's sake. The guy she used to exchange bad jokes with. He was definitely not someone to be scared of.

"Are you alright?" he asked worriedly.

Regina nodded sheepishly and mouthed 'sorry'.

"Don't apologize," Chad immediately brushed her off. "I'm the one who's sorry. I heard something breaking, and I came down here. I didn't realize it was you who was here. Otherwise I would never..."

Regina already knew that. Chad had been so good to her after everything. He had kept his distance in the hospital when she was at her most vulnerable, and even now when she was doing a bit better, he was still actively making an effort to appear as non-threatening as he possibly could. He never slammed doors or raised his voice by accident. He always spoke to her in a certain, gentle manner, and he never attempted to hug or touch her in any other way. And most importantly of all, he did it naturally. He didn't need to be explained why he had to act a certain way around her.

One time, Regina had overheard him and Zelena talking, and Chad had said that it was a good thing 'the motherfucker' was in prison, otherwise Chad would have hunted him down and apparently 'ripped off his balls'.

Regina doubted that would have lead to anything except for a bloody mess in the most literal way, but she still appreciated the sentiment behind it.

"Do you want some help with that?" Chad offered and nodded towards the mess of broken pieces on the floor.

Regina nodded. Some help would be nice.

Chad adjusted so he was sitting a bit more comfortably on his knees, and then he started to pick up some of the broken pieces. "How come you're down here this late?" he asked casually. "Is everything okay?"

Regina smiled. She liked his nonchalant way of asking. Then she nodded. Gestured vaguely towards the casserole on the stove and mouthed 'warm milk'. She had to settle with that because she had no idea how to sign it.

"Ahh. Gotcha," Chad chuckled. "Do you think you made enough for two?"

Regina would have chuckled too if she could. She had never once seen Chad drink warm milk. Didn't even know that applied to him. She had a feeling that he was doing it to keep her company, and she really appreciated it. And she actually did make enough for two.

Together, she and Chad picked up the rest of the broken pieces. They dumped them in the trashcan, and Chad gallantly offered to fetch them two new cups.

"Just to make sure there'll be no accidents," he teased.

Regina made a mock haughty face at him, and Chad laughed in response. It was actually pretty cozy, having a glass of warm milk with her 'brother-in-law' in the middle of the night. She poured milk into the two cups he had just fetched for them and then held up the jar of honey while raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"Yeah, I'd like some honey with that," he chuckled.

And honey he was given. A large chunk of it right into his cup of milk.

They settled at the kitchen table with their cups of warm milk. Chad raised his and said: "cheers, Regina."

Regina couldn't help but to make that rumbling sound in her chest as their cups of warm milk clinked together. Perhaps she should do this more often. Warm milk with Chad. Not the worst thing ever. She took a little sip. Warm milk was actually everything it was cracked up to be.

"Mmm, this is good," Chad praised. "Very good."

Regina bowed her head in joking gratitude. The way Chad said made it sound like she had just baked a complicated cake. It was just warm milk.

But sitting there in the kitchen in the middle of the night while the rest of the house was asleep was nice. Chad was a quiet man. A great balance to Zelena's more loud personality. He was excellent at grounding her when she was getting too worked up. And he was wonderful at comforting her when she was upset. Always there when she needed him. Regina was grateful that Zelena had him in her life. Henry too. Chad was ideal for videogames, and Regina knew that he, in his own quiet manner had talked to Henry about more serious matters.

"Does it hurt?" Chad asked and interrupted her train of thoughts. "Your throat, I mean. I don't mean to impose or anything, I just figured because of the warm milk..."

Regina was not upset over the question. Quite the reverse. It was very sweet of him to ask. She shook her head to indicate that her throat did not hurt.

"Oh, that's good," Chad said. "I'm just... What is it Zee always call it? 'Check in'." he chuckled. "Yeah. I'm checking in."

Regina smiled and they toasted once more. When they were done with their hot drink, they quietly snuck upstairs like they were a couple of criminals. When they parted ways, Chad sneakily tapped the side of his nose and made Regina smile.

It felt like the cup of warm milk had given Regina boast of energy. She felt oddly prepared for battle when she woke up the following morning.

Well, perhaps not exactly ready for battle, but definitely ready to spill her guts.

She could do this. Of course she could. She had planned on being brave, and that was exactly what she was going to be.

She was going to tell Emma everything, and it was going to go well.

It had to.

She got dressed in her warmest sweatpants and thermo jacket. Then she went downstairs and announced to a rather startled Zelena that she would be going for a morning walk.

"Do you want some company?" Zelena asked, raising an eyebrow and clearly finding Regina's morning initiation a bit strange.

Regina did not. She would prefer doing this on her own. And Zelena was wearing a bathrobe and fuzzy slippers, and honestly, she didn't look very ready to go out on a morning walk.

The brisk morning walk had her cheeks glowing and the usual morning fog in her head lifting. She felt almost upbeat when coming home. She took a nice, warm shower and then dressed in nylon stockings, a pinstriped pencil skirt, crisp white blouse, a cream colored silk scarf, and a blazer that matched the pencil skirt. She applied a light makeup, brushed her hair, and then looked at herself in the mirror. She used to wear this outfit a lot when she was teaching at the university, and she felt like it was an appropriate outfit for the date. It was classy without being too much. And she felt comfortable wearing it. That was the most important thing.

Once dressed and done up, she walked down the hallway to Henry's room and peered inside. He was still fast asleep, and Regina almost felt guilty for having to wake him. But she had to. Today was a school day. She slipped inside his room, sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked his hair in an attempt to wake him.

Henry mumbled something in his sleep.

Regina stroked his hair again. Then ruffled it slightly.

Henry slowly lifted his head. "Nooooo," he mumbled.

Regina rumbled at his reaction. Then she bowed her head and blew raspberries onto the back of his neck.

That had Henry squealing in protest. Then giving a croaky laugh and a mock-disgruntled: "mooo-oooom!" then he rolled onto his back and assured: "I'm awake, okay!"

Regina chose to believe him. She gestured to the alarm clock to indicate that time was ticking, and then she left her son's room again, smiling to herself at Henry's reluctance to get out of bed.

Downstairs, she made herself a nice cup of coffee and a healthy fruit bowl for breakfast. She still felt oddly prepared for battle. She was nervous, but fully prepared to follow through with her plans of telling Emma the truth. She had no idea what the outcome would be, but all she could do, was hoping for the best. So she chose to do that.

"It's been a while since I last saw that outfit," Zelena smiled. "You look nice."

'Thanks', Regina signed and then went back to eating her breakfast. She was quite satisfied with what she was wearing today. And even more satisfied with the fact that she could actually fit the clothes. She didn't even have to belt the skirt, and that was a huge victory.

She was halfway through her coffee when Henry came downstairs, fully dressed but yawning in a most exaggerated way.

"Good morning, Hen," Zelena said briskly and chuckled. "You look so ready to start the day!"

"Har, har, har," Henry said dryly and slid past Regina and opened the fridge. Found the jug of milk and the cereal. He pointedly ignored the plate of cut up fruit Regina lovingly had prepared for him last night.

But Regina did not. While he was loading a small mountain of sugar onto his portion of cereal, she leaned past him and took the plate of fruit out the fridge and sat it in front of him.

"Urgh, really," he said and made a face.

Yes, really. Regina nodded firmly and pointed to the bowl of fruit. She insisted that Henry got his required food and vegetables. She wasn't completely obsessing over it like Cora had with her, she would never dream of being so strict with her son, but she knew the importance of eating healthy.

"Fiiiine," Henry complained. Clearly not in the mood for fruit. But he still brought the bowl of fruit over to the table with him.

Regina smiled. Couldn't help it. She mad actually missed these small altercations with him. The little exchange of opinions. After she had come home from the hospital, Henry had almost become too docile. Too agreeable. And too focused on making things as easy as possible. And as much as Regina appreciated that level of maturity, she had also been concerned because Henry suddenly had seemed older than he was. It was a huge relief to see him behave like an average ten year old boy.

While he ate his breakfast (fruit included), Regina settled down at the table with her laptop to do some work. She started with planning modules, and even though this was completely different from her old job, she still enjoyed it.

When the bus came, Henry kissed her goodbye and left. Just like she was his normal, boring mom...

Later that day, Regina was getting ready to drive to Steveston with the anxiety bubbling in her stomach, when she received a text from Emma. Her faithful little Bug had broken down and she was stuck at her work. She would try catching a bus, but she would most likely be very delayed.

Regina didn't like that. For two reasons. Number one being that it was really cold today. The thought of Emma waiting at a windy busstop only wearing her leather jacket didn't really appeal to Regina.

And then of course there was the whole deal about Regina's anxiety. She was nervous enough about telling. She feared that any kind of delay would sway her decision about coming clean to Emma.

There was only one thing to do.

'Oh, I'm sorry to hear about your car. The bus ride is going to take a while, though. Wouldn't it be better if I picked you up?'

'Seriously?'

Why yes, of course. 'Yes, of course. It's practically on the way to Steveston. It's not gonna be a problem at all.'

'Oh my god, thank you so much! You're a lifesaver. I'll be in the parking lot.'

'Excellent. I'll be there shortly.' Now she was in a hurry. She didn't want Emma to wait in the cold parking lot for too long. Regina slipped her phone back in her purse and purposefully strode towards the hallway to put on her coat and boots. By the staircase, she nearly ran into Zelena who was getting ready to head out too. She was on her way for an evening meeting. Chad was on Henry-duty this evening. The two 'boys' were currently upstairs in Henry's room, playing Mario Kart.

"Someone's in a hurry," Zelena commented. "Everything okay?"

'Yes," Regina hastily signed. 'I'm just in a hurry to pick up Emma. Her car broke down and she's stuck at work.'

"Ah," Zelena nodded. "Gotcha." She tilted her head. "How are you feeling?"

Regina gave a meek smile.

"You're so brave," Zelena said softly. "You really are."

Regina tried not to scoff.

"It'll go well," Zelena said firmly. "I can feel that it will."

Regina was a bit more hesitant when it came to optimism, but she nevertheless flashed her sister a more genuine smile. It was sweet of Zelena to be hopeful on her behalf.

"Well, I won't keep you," Zelena said and grinned. "Off you pop."

And off Regina popped. Right into her car where she quickly turned on the heat to defeat the horrible cold weather. She had no interest in turning into a popsicle while driving...

It almost felt a bit like deja-vu when she reached the parking lot of Dragon Publishing. Regina could not remember the last time she had been here, and it was strange being back. The enormous, impressive grey building looked exactly like the last time she had been here, and Regina felt a surge of pride over what Malena had created here.

Malena. Regina had not texted her like Mal had asked her to when they ran into each other in the grocery store. She hadn't known what to text. Hadn't known how the hell to start a conversation and get back to the friendship they once had. So much had happened. So many things Regina had not shared with her.

She pushed the thoughts about Malena away when she spotted another certain blonde standing on the parking lot. There she was. Beautiful Emma Swan. Lovely Emma Swan. Just looking at her made Regina feel all light and comfortable.

Emma was bouncing slightly and rubbing her arms in an attempt not to freeze. One could wonder why she hadn't gone inside to wait, but she had clearly trusted that Regina wouldn't take long, and Regina was glad she hadn't stalled.

She parked the car and got out. Quickly spotted that Emma was looking at her. Then coming towards her. Regina smiled and began walking towards the stranded blonde.

"Regina?"

She stopped abruptly when her name was called. Not by Emma, but by another blonde Regina had just thought about. She turned her head and quickly spotted Malena who was standing half-hidden in the shadows with a cigarette between her long fingers.

Regina flashed Malena a slight smile, and Malena put out the cigarette on the heel of her booth, snipped it into the nearest bin and then walked towards Regina.

"It is nice to see you again," Malena said as she reached her. "It has been far too long."

It had not been that long since they ran into each other in the grocery store. But Regina understood what Malena meant. She could read between the lines.

"Are you feeling alright?" Malena asked her.

Regina nodded meekly and flashed her old friend a smile.

"Good." Malena said. "I'm glad to see you. And I don't want to lose contact with you again. Text me, alright? Don't be a stranger."

Oh, she was such a bad friend. Being able to say sorry would have been nice. Now she had to settle for a nod and what she hoped was an apologetic smile.

"Good," Malena said, flashed Regina a smile and then she leaned forward and gave Regina very, very light peck on the cheek. "You take care of yourself, alright?"

Oddly enough, the kiss on the cheek did not make Regina uncomfortable. This was just the way Malena was. This was the greeting she had used for years. Regina gave a nod and smiled a little again.

"Excellent," Malena said. She touched the top of Regina's shoulder lightly, and then she turned around and walked towards her car. Before heading inside she turned her head and said to Emma: "I'll see you tomorrow, miss Swan."

"Yeah," Emma nodded. "See you."

Malena disappeared inside her car and drove off. In a ridiculous speed as always. She had always been a bit of a reckless driver.

Emma came towards her. "Hey," she said and smiled.

Regina returned the smile, reached within the pocket of her coat, and found the note she had prepared from home. 'Hello, Emma. It's nice to see you again.' she handed the note to Emma.

Emma chuckled a little when reading the greeting, and Regina wished that she had been brave enough to kiss Emma. But she was not. Instead she had to settle for lightly putting a hand on Emma's forearm and swell in the way Emma shyly smiled and pushed locks of golden hair behind her ear. She seemed to be studying her face quite intensely, and Regina hoped that she did not look too tired. As nice as the warm milk had been last night, it had also come with a price. Dark circles under her eyes.

She moved her hand away from Emma's arm and then nodded towards her car, hoping that Emma would understand what she was trying to communicate.

Emma did. "Yeah," she said and nodded. "Let's get going. It's pretty cold out here."

It was. And especially when you were wearing only a thin leather jacket. Together they walked towards the car, and as Emma climbed onto the passenger's seat, Regina hoped that the heat in the seat had gotten the chance to work its magic. Regina hated freezing when she was driving, and she was certain the same thing was the case for Emma.

She started car. Steered it out of the parking lot and onto the road. Emma gave a sudden chuckle, and Regina couldn't help but giving her a sideway glance while wondering what the joke was.

"She was happy to see you," Emma said casually.

Who? Regina raised an eyebrow.

"Malena, I mean," Emma quickly clarified.

Oh. Yes. She was. Regina shrugged as best as she could behind the wheel and felt another surge of guilt. Why hadn't she just texted Malena? A simple 'hey' would be enough.

"Can I ask you something?" Emma asked lightly.

Regina nodded. Anything. That was what today was about. Emma could ask her anything, and Regina would give a truthful answer.

"Were you and Malena more than friends at some point?"

Oh. Well. That was NOT the question Regina had expected. Was it really that obvious that she and Malena had been more than friends? And more importantly, would it be a problem in the future? She was well aware that it was pretty untraditional to be such close friends with her ex. And she had already been told once that that sort of thing wasn't 'allowed'.

But she had promised herself to be completely honest with Emma. She shot Emma another sideway glance and then nodded once in confirmation.

"Okay," Emma said simply.

No biggie, apparently. But Regina still felt slightly awkward, so she tapped the button on the radio once.

"Yeah, sure, I don't mind a bit of music," Emma said casually and leaned back in her seat. Turning on the heating in the seat had clearly been a good idea.

Regina switched the radio on and felt some of the awkwardness disappearing when Billie Holliday's velvet soft voice filled the car. Billie Holliday had always been one of her favorites. She had vague memories of dancing on her father's feet while Billie Holliday was playing on their old gramophone.

Her memories about singing along to the music were not vague, though.

They were crystal clear, and it was impossible not to get a little upset when remembering that she no longer was capable of singing along to the music. Never again would she be able to attempt to outsing Billie Holliday.

Regina swallowed something. She didn't want to be upset. Not now. Not today when she was with Emma.

Emma shifted a bit in the passengers seat. Something was clearly bothering her, and Regina was just about to make an attempt to find out what it was when Emma on her own accord said: "damn car!"

Oh. So that was the problem. Her car which had broken down. Of course. Regina completely understood why that had to be annoying, and she hoped that the car could be fixed. She had a soft spot for Emma's little yellow Bug. Found it to be absolutely adorable. She flashed Emma a slight smile.

Emma returned the smile. "Thank you so much for picking me up. That was really nice of you."

But of course. There was really no reason why Emma should have taken the old, rattling bus back to Steveston when Regina was in the area and had every opportunity to pick her up. But again, there was Emma's excessive need to say thank you for everything. Nothing had ever come easily to Emma, Regina had known that for a while. But she hoped that she one day would be able to convince Emma that she did not have to say thank you to her all the time. Regina did things for Emma quite willingly. Because she wanted to be good to Emma. Because Emma deserved that someone was good to her.

Regina glanced discreetly at her. Emma was sitting with her legs crossed in an almost childlike manner. It made Regina smile. Emma unconsciously did things that were so incredibly sweet.

If Regina had not been so scared of touching and to be touched, she would have reached out and touched Emma.

Her cheek.

Her hand.

But she could not.

Because she was bound by that irrational fear.

She wished that things weren't like that.

She wished that she wasn't so fucked up.

Oh boy, Zelena would have scolded her for it if she knew what Regina was thinking. And she was right. Regina was NOT fucked up. If she had been fucked up, she wouldn't have been capable of even imagining herself being in a relationship with Emma Swan.

But she WAS imagining that.

And guess what?

It made her happy.

The idea of being with Emma who was so sweet made her happy.

Of course it wouldn't be easy. There would be many bumps on the road, but if they gave it time... Regina was sure something beautiful could grow from the flicker of hope she felt whenever she was near Emma.

"You know, I had hoped to wear something a bit more... date-esque," Emma said and wrinkled her nose. "But then the car broke down and completely messed up my plans!"

Regina smiled a little. Emma did not need to put on fancy clothing. It was just coffee at Eugenia's Inn. But this conversation did remind her of how lovely Emma had looked in the grey sequin dress she had worn at the concert. Regina hoped that she got the chance to see Emma in that dress again. And next time, she wouldn't settle for just mouthing 'pretty'. Next time she would make sure to let Emma know how utterly lovely she looked in that dress. How completely breathtakingly beautiful Regina found her to be.

But Emma was beautiful right now too. She didn't need to put on a fancy dress in order to be beautiful. Her beauty was coming from within.

The date was exactly as successful as the previous one.

They arrived at Eugenia's Inn and found an empty table. Emma ordered coffee for both of them. And a slice of pie for Regina.

Regina had not expected that, and she did her best to communicate to Emma that it was not necessary.

But Emma merely shrugged lightly. "Henry mentioned how much you loved pie when we were at the harvest festival."

No way. She remembered that? Seriously? Regina quickly found her trusted stack of post-it notes and wrote down her puzzlement on the first one ('You remember that?') and then handed it to Emma.

"Yep. I do," Emma confirmed and sounded shy once more.

Oh, how Regina once again wished that she had been brave enough to kiss Emma. But she was not. And serving her dark story over a slice of pie seemed almost inappropriate. And it would definitely ruin her appetite. But she would tell it afterwards. As soon as she was done with the pie. Then she would steer the conversation onto the kiss Emma had given her the last time they saw one another. She would apologize for the way she had reacted. And then she suspected that Emma naturally would ask the right questions.

It would be difficult.

So difficult.

It would hurt like hell.

Relieving it would be exactly as gut punching as it had been the other times.

But it would be worth it too.

Regina was sure of that.

Yes.

Emma Swan was worth it.

After having placed her cellphone on the table to have it nearby, she dug into her slice of pie.

"Any good?" Emma asked.

Regina nodded eagerly and smiled. It was a very good pie! She didn't eat pie often enough. Maybe she should start making pie herself. Henry would definitely appreciate that... she absentmindedly licked a drop of whipped cream away from her pinky finger as she considered it. Perhaps she should surprise her son and make pie for dessert tonight. He had eaten all his fruit slices this morning without complaining (much), surely that deserved some kind of reward, did it not?

"Great," Emma said and for whatever reason, her voice sounded a bit strained. She lifted her cup of coffee. Took a sip of it and then coughed slightly.

Regina quickly glanced at her and raised an eyebrow. That did not sound too good. Was Emma developing a cold? Perhaps waiting outside in that thin jacket had already done some damage.

"I'm fine," Emma said and cleared her throat. "Excuse me."

Maybe not a cold then. Regina turned her attention back to her pie. It did feel a little rude to just sit there and eat without even attempting to communicate, but the thing was, the pie was warm. It would be a shame to let it go cold. And constantly putting her fork down to write a message was so troublesome. It was better to finish her pie first instead of attempting to do two things at once.

And besides... the quicker she finished the slice of pie, the quicker she could tell Emma the things she needed to tell her. The things Emma needed to know.

The pie became sticky in her mouth.

A chance.

That was all she was asking for.

A chance to experience a relationship where she did not have to be constantly afraid. A chance to prove to herself and Emma that she could do this. That she was capable of having a normal relationship with a sweet woman who had been nothing but good to her.

A chance to prove that she was not broken.

Or at least that the missing pieces of her could be found and put back together.

She swallowed the piece of pie with some trouble.

Would Emma give her that chance?

God, she hoped so!

That was when the screen on her phone lit up. Regina put the fork down to check the message. It was one from Henry. He had just won over Chad in Mario Kart five times. Well done, Henry. Regina smiled a little as she texted back and congratulated him. And reminded him that it was time to do something else besides playing videogames.

"Anything important?" Emma asked casually.

Regina swiftly grabbed a new post-it note and scribbled down the answer. 'Just Henry.' then she gave the note to Emma.

"Oh," Emma said. "Everything alright with the kid?"

Regina nodded and smiled. Henry was thriving. He always thrived when he was playing videogames. But she did hope that he was planning on doing something else soon. Like playing a boardgame with Chad. That had sort of become a tradition when Regina was in the hospital. A way to keep Henry's mind occupied with something else at least for a little while. And they had kept up the tradition after Regina got home. She had witnessed epic battles of Monopoly unfurl in the kitchen. It was quite entertaining, really.

"Aww," Emma suddenly cooed. "How old is he there?"

It took Regina a second to figure out that Emma was talking about the background picture on her phone. But when she did figure out, she could only agree with the 'aww'. It was one of her favorite pictures, the one of her and Henry when he was just a tiny thing. She found a new post-it note and wrote on it: 'he's two years old in the picture.' She gently slid the note towards Emma.

"Can I see it?" Emma asked after having read the note. "More properly, I mean?"

Sure, why not. Regina nodded and grabbed her phone. Tapped the little 'photo' icon and found the picture. That way Emma could see it without all the apps covering the motive. She pushed the phone over to Emma.

Emma looked at the picture for a long time, and Regina wondered what she found in it. Could she see the gleam in Regina's eyes? Could she see how happy and unmarred she had been back then? Her life had been perfect. Her spirit had not yet been broken by terribly things done to her by a terrible man.

"You guys look very sweet together," Emma said softly as she pushed the phone back towards Regina.

Indeed. Regina nodded and slipped the phone back in her purse. She looked at Emma. She was sipping her coffee. There seemed to be a lull in their conversation, and Regina felt another surge of anxiety. Now was a good time as ever. In fact this was probably THE moment. She took a deep breath, willed herself not to panic. She merely had to steer the conversation onto how their date ended the last time, and then everything else would come naturally. Hopefully.

She could do this. She had to.

Regina took another deep breath. Reached for the stack of post-its, ready to write down something she wasn't even sure what was yet.

But then Emma's phone rang. Regina almost flinched at the sound but quickly pulled herself together.

Emma sighed. "I'm sorry, I have to answer this call. It's my mechanic."

Regina nodded, put on a smile, and took a sip of her coffee in the hope to soften the hard lump she had gotten in her throat. This was fine. Of course Emma had to talk to her mechanic about the Bug. It was just a minor interruption. The date would continue afterwards. There was no reason to get cold feet over something that was this minor.

"Hey, Billy. What's up?" Emma said casually and sounded exactly like the young woman she was. "Have you already fixed the Bug? That's pretty impress-"

She did not finish the sentence, and Regina flinched when she heard Billy yell something inaudible in the other end. She did not like it. Why was Billy yelling at Emma? He shouldn't be!

"What the hell are you talking about?" Emma demanded. She sounded exactly as puzzled as Regina felt.

Billy once again said something. It was still inaudible, but Regina could hear that he was speaking very fast.

"What?" Emma said.

Regina studied her face. She didn't look annoyed anymore. Instead her green eyes had widened, and she was clearly biting the inside of her right cheek. Regina grew worried. What could Billy possibly have said that had caused such a reaction?

"Okay," Emma said quietly. She ended the call, but the screen had barely been black for two seconds before Regina saw it light up again. Emma had received a picture. From Billy. Why had he sent her a picture? Regina didn't understand. But she kept looking at Emma as she tapped on her phone, most likely to open the newly received picture.

The look of complete shock and horror on Emma's face almost made Regina want to recoil. And then ask a million questions if she had been able to.

Because what on earth could have happened to make Emma look so shocked and frightened?

What was going on?

To Be Continued...