walk steady on this cruel world's path

By: Aviantei

Part Twenty-Eight:

"Echoes of Thunder, Heard from a Distance"

Rairi-senpai,

I'm glad to hear that you're doing good with work. I already submitted my latest report, but I know you said to check in with you, so I'm doing that. Kei's been handling things well, like you said she would. She's got a good handle on her Breathing Style, plus she'd picked up some of the aspects of Total Concentration: Constant even before I started drilling her on it. She mentioned the mission you were on together and was excited to hear that I'm your kōhai. I think you've managed to get a fan, Rairi-senpai.

Still, I think you had a point with what you mentioned before at Headquarters. I've noticed that the demons we've been encountering have been a lot more aggressive these past few missions. Nothing too out of the way for Kei to handle, but there have been a few fights that were close for her skill level. She tends to just ask me for more training afterwards, so she seems to be handling it well, but I promise I'm keeping an eye on her.

It sounds like your own mentoring is going well, so I'm glad to hear that the Michi kid isn't causing you any troubles. I worked with him once, and he couldn't even keep up with me. Didn't you mention that you'll check in with Oyakata-sama soon? Let me know if you need anything else, Rairi-senpai. I'll be glad to help.

I know I don't have any room to talk here, but I noticed that your last couple of letters have been a little shorter than usual. Are you doing okay? I know you're busy, so I don't want to add any stress to your plate, but I just want to make sure you're alright. Don't overwork yourself, Rairi-senpai. You're doing plenty enough as it is.

I just keep thinking about how you're doing, that's all. As long as you let me know you're okay, that's what matters most.

Looking forward to your next letter, no matter how long it is,
Kaigaku

Kaigaku,

It's not that I've been trying to write shorter replies to you; I'm just always panicking over what to even say to you that won't be too much, which is just hilarious, I know. But what am I supposed to do? I've been panicking because I like you, it turns out! Do you like me back? Mitsuri-san says she thinks you do, and I don't know what to do about it!

I keep thinking about the way you hugged me, the way your body felt in my arms. You've gotten stronger, and I keep getting distracted by thinking about just…you? Fuck, I don't even know. I want to kiss you, I want to tear off your uniform to see your muscles that I could feel underneath. I either want to pin you against a wall or have you pin me against one—haven't quite decided which. Both sound appealing, and I'm indecisive as fuck.

I don't often think like this, Kaigaku. Oh, sure, I'm not innocent by any means, but I've never had this fucking much going on, and not about a specific person. I thought I skipped over the awkward horny teenage phase (fighting demons is kinda a damn good distraction, you know), but I thought wrong I guess! I feel like it's a bit unfair to say that you did this to me, but, uh, you did this to me, okay?!

So, yeah, half the time I have to stop myself from writing before I end up dumping one of those fucking bombshells on you, so I hope you can understand why I've been short. Whenever I'm not being a thirsty af bitch, I still worry about writing something that will give it away. What if I tell you I like you and you don't like me back? We've just gotten back to being comfortable with each other, and I don't want to fuck that up.

Plus I have this stupid guilt over everything. I'm a goddamn Demon Slayer! I could die any damn day; it wouldn't be fair to do that to you. I have a program to run, a mentee to take care of! Like I said, I can't shake this feeling that something's coming, and here I am trying to figure out my fucking love life. How goddamn selfish can I get?

Want the fucking kicker, Kaigaku? You're not the only person I like, and I'm too much of a pansy ass to even think about committing to one of you. See? Indecisive! What a goddamn disaster. But I can't help but think about what it could be like if you were willing to work with that, and then the spiral just starts all over again.

Fucking hell, Kaigaku, I'm sorry if you do like me. No one should have to put up with this.

At the end of the day, it's not like it matters, because I'm just writing this in some hope that it will help clear my head out and make it easier to give you the proper reply you deserve instead of my goddamn disaster of a mental state. So yeah. Good game, me. How about you try being a decent person now?

Shaking the cramp out of my hand from gripping onto the brush so hard, I folded up my disaster of a letter—before inhaling with Total Concentration and tearing it down the middle. I stacked the pieces together and repeated the process several more times, sending violent ripping sounds through the small inn room and not stopping until I was left with a veritable pile of parchment-based confetti across the small desk the inn had.

"Um, Rairi-san?" Michi asked, looking up from where he was reading a small book. "You okay over there?"

"Just venting some feelings; don't worry about it, Michi-san."

"O-okay."

My Child,

It sounds like you've been making good progress with that program of yours. As you've requested, I included some additional notes on different breathing techniques for you to work on yourself and a few extra techniques to teach that student you've picked up. Out of the three of you, you've always had the best instincts for guiding others, so you don't need to fuss much.

I don't know what you did to get Kaigaku to write home, but you have my thanks. It's good to hear from all three of my apprentices on a regular basis. I also don't know what you did to get him to participate in your program without a fuss, but I'm glad to hear that, as well. Make sure you get Zenitsu to help when he's a high enough rank. The three of you need all the practice you can get.

This is the first summer I've had to go through without any of you being home. I thought I'd appreciate the peace and quiet, but even this old man needs a little excitement. There are more peaches than I know what to do with, and there's just so much shogi I can play before the quiet catches up to me.

I know you're busy with all your responsibilities, but if you ever pass by home, I wouldn't be opposed to your company for a bit. Retirement doesn't quite suit me as much as I thought it would.

Kuwajima Jigorō

Senpai,

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the birthday present! It looks like you've been practicing with the flower crowns. I super appreciate it, so don't worry that it's not something I can keep for a long time. I'm just glad that you took the time to think of me and make one. I wish you could have come back to Butterfly Manor, but I get that you're busy.

I miss seeing you around, Senpai, but I promise I'm working hard! Tanjirō's been passing me and Inosuke training tips that he's learning from Rengoku-san, so we've been practicing with those. Kanao-chan and Aoi-chan and the rest of the girls at Butterfly Manor have been helping us out between missions, too, so we're doing our best over here.

I know you said that Michi's been okay since you picked him up as your mentee, but I'm still worried about it. I know you can handle yourself, Senpai, but I don't want you to get in trouble if he says anything again. Promise me you won't lie just for my sake about what's going on there? I know I shouldn't say this, but I don't have a problem fighting him again if I need to.

Let me know whenever you get the chance to swing by our way again, Senpai. I'll be looking forward to it, and I'll make you a new flower crown in return! Plus I want you to see what else I've been working on in training, since I've been trying new stuff myself. Everyone else wants to see you, too, so try not to take too long if you can manage it!

Hope to see you soon, Senpai,
Zenitsu

Kaigaku,

Here's the honest reason my letters to you have been short: I like you.

In a romantic sense. Let's just make that clear.

You have no obligation to like me back, but I think you might. Mitsuri-san thinks you might, too, for what that's worth? She seems sure of it, which isn't a clear reason, but the possibility is driving me up the goddamn wall.

Let's be real, Kaigaku, you've always been a little rough around social interaction. Considering what you told me about how you grew up, that's overall reasonable. I'm sure life's been beyond different for you than it has for me, so I'm not blaming you. But whenever I look back I can't help but think you're a little bit softer around me than other people?

You helped me get to the Wisteria House when we had our mission together, you bought me a barrette that I don't even want to know how expensive it was, you're willing to help out with my mentee program when I couldn't even imagine you doing something like that just a year ago. It's awful of me to assume, but is all that because you like me? Or am I dumbass and reading far too into you doing your due diligence to me as your senpai?

If we were together in person, I could just ask, because you know how my mouth is, but it seems that when it comes to letters, I'm a coward, so yeah. Me running around in circles for ages. Let's see if I can write the rest of this without dying.

Do you like me? (In a romantic sense. Let's make that clear) If so, are you interested in dating at all? If so, how about dating me? If not, are you willing to at least let me kiss you once so I can stop thinking about it?

No, scratch that last one. If I kissed you once, I'm sure I'd just make myself want to do it more.

Additional questions, then. If we did go out, what would you even want out of a relationship? Do you want something exclusive? Marriage? I've never thought much about it before, but I think I might be polyamorous—um, someone that wants to have consensual intimate relationships with more than one partner. That's still up in the air. If I am, would that be something you'd be comfortable with?

Fun fact, Kaigaku: I'm blushing so hard right now that Michi-san just went and got some water for me. Funny enough, I still have some shame left in me!

You know, this isn't too bad. Hell, I think I might be okay with asking all of this if it weren't for one other fact: I like someone else, too. Once again, in a romantic sense. Let's make that clear.

Please never mention this to Zenitsu, because I'm a massive hypocrite, but I've had a crush on Shimizu-chan since I met her, like an utter mess. You've met her at least the one time, so you know how pretty she is! Of course, if it were just an aesthetic attraction, it would be one thing, but it's just gotten worse since I've come to know her, so I'm in just as deep with her as I am with you, and it's a little bit overwhelming, if I'm being honest.

And just to be clear, you're attractive, too, Kaigaku. Hell, you're super hot, and I feel like a dumbass for taking this long to notice it. While it's the better move when it comes to, you know, keeping yourself safe since the uniform's durable and all that, it's almost a shame you keep the jacket buttoned up, because keeping your kimono open back when we were still at home was a damn good look for you, and I want to fucking sink my teeth into your collarbone so bad—

My groan echoed off the inn room's walls, and I let the brush tumble out of my hands, ink splattering from bristles to parchment. My head hit the desk next. Michi-san let out a startled yelp at the sudden thonk, while Tadashi ruffled his feathers.

"Rairi! Deliver letter?"

"Not a fucking chance!"

Rairi-san!

Thanks again so much for writing to me again; I appreciate it a lot! It's been super fun to read your letters between patrol and missions. Makes me all excited.

I'm sure there's a chance that you've heard so already, but I thought I'd let you know that we're working on setting up some Hashira training sessions! It's going to be a little bit tricky with our schedules, but Oyakata-sama has been organizing arrangements to help balance out our patrols and the like. I've started compiling some ideas, and Rengoku-san's been hard at work, too!

I know that you're working with your own mentee, but both of you are welcome to come by whenever we get started. (And if you want, I can pull some strings to have Kaigaku-san or Urokodaki-san come over when you do!)

Speaking of which, have you asked Kaigaku-san anything yet? I think you should! Based on what you wrote to me about so far, I'm even more sure that he's interested in you—look at what he said back at Headquarters. How about we strike a deal? If you confess to Kaigaku-san, I'll do my best to confess to Obanai-san! How's that sound?

…Ah, now that I wrote it, I don't think I'm ready for anything like that just yet. But if you want to go for it, I support you!

I haven't had the chance to see Obanai-san in a while, but he has been writing to me, so that's great! To tell the truth, I've been collecting his letters, but please don't tell anyone that. We're planning on going out to eat together the next time we can, though. I promise I'll tell you all about it!

It's also been fun to hear about Urokodaki-san as well! I hope that I'll be able to meet her in person sometime soon. Don't worry, though! I promise that if I meet her without you around, I won't say anything—but maybe I can try to gauge how she feels about you? Of course, I won't do it without your permission. I'm just excited to see how things work out for you! You're a wonderful person, Rairi-san, so I'm sure at least one of them will return your feelings.

Please send me any other updates you have whenever you get the chance. I'll keep doing my best, so you do the same, Rairi-san!
Kanroji Mitsuri

Rairi,

We've compiled the base progress reports from the mentorship program into a short summary for this month. I know that you're handling missions in the field, but I thought you might appreciate at least seeing how things are progressing. There's nothing you need to worry about just yet; we can discuss things in more detail sometime in the next few months.

Keep up the good work,
Ubuyashiki Kagaya

Kaigaku,

What if I said I wanted to make out with you? Haha, just kidding. Unless…?

"No, no, no, no, no!"

Rairi,

Apologies for sending you a letter without any prior warning, and even more so since it doesn't have anything to do with activities for the Demon Slayer Corps. I debated on and off for a while if I should send this, considering my own duties, but, in the end, I decided that I should.

I've been thinking a lot about what you said when we talked in person, about how our bodies don't have anything to do with who we end up being. The idea is new to me, but it has got me thinking about who I am.

Perhaps this is disgraceful behavior, considering that I should be focusing my full attention on succeeding Father. I assume you can understand the feeling, as someone who is also a successor to an important position? Despite my duty, I do still have some free time to myself, so I would like to learn more about this. I tried talking to Mother and Father about this, and, while they seemed understanding, they also said they didn't know much about the idea, so they couldn't offer much help.

Would you be willing to discuss these things with me? You seemed so self-assured whenever you said you weren't a boy or a girl, like it was that simple. If possible, I'd like to know more about how you came to understand that about yourself.

That said, Rairi, please don't think of this as a requirement as a member of the Demon Slayer Corps. This is simply a request from Ubuyashiki Kiriya as myself, not as the successor to my father. Don't rush to answer if you don't have the time for it.

I'll be awaiting your potential reply,
Ubuyashiki Kiriya

Kaigaku,

Sorry for taking a while to get back a reply. I don't want to make you worry anymore, but I promise I'm doing alright. Like you mentioned, there's a lot going on, so it's been tricky to write out longer answers since I've been getting a lot of correspondence lately. It seems that I've gotten popular, though I can't imagine why.

I'm glad to hear that you and Kei-san are getting along well. Oyakata-sama is sending me basic updates, and it sounds like everyone else is doing well. Thanks for filling out all your paperwork and reports. I appreciate all your hard work.

Does Kei-san look up to me, though? If you're not joking, please break that habit. You should know that I'm an awful influence; she deserves better.

I've been getting along well on this end, too. Michi-san has been performing pretty well. I managed to get someone a little bit higher ranked since Oyakata-sama wanted to see what benefits we can do for the mid-tiers. Still, I'm a little worried that there are people who can get this high ranked without learning the more advanced Total Concentration skills. I guess something like that just proves that we need this kind of program, which is good for me, then? Still concerning for everyone else, though, but we're working on it.

It sounds like it'll be a little bit longer before Oyakata-sama and I meet up again, but that doesn't make the possibility any less nerve-wracking. He's just got such a presence that catches me off guard every time. If I could make up an excuse to have you as my backup again, I would do it—if you were willing to help me out, of course.

I've noticed that the demons we've been facing have been more aggressive, too. Like I said, Michi-san's more mid rank, but it's still never a good time whenever the enemy you're up against doesn't want to let up. I'm just trying to have faith in myself that I'll be able to put up a good enough fight, no matter what comes our way.

If I'm being honest, I keep thinking about how you're doing, too. Spending time together back at Headquarters just made me realize how much I miss your company. I'm looking forward to when we can see each other in person again.

Stay safe, Kaigaku. I'll try my best to do the same,
Rairi

Tadashi chirruped, tilting his head as I attached the letter to his leg, my face flushing hot. "Rairi? Sick? Wisteria House?"

"No, no, I'm fine. Just…deliver it before I chicken out, okay?"

If Tadashi wasn't such a sweetheart, I would have suspected that his next caw was laughing at me.

Rairi-kun,

It's been way, way, way too long since we've seen each other! If I didn't know better, I'd say that the Corps was trying to keep us all apart, since you haven't been able to see Zenitsu-kun or any of the others lately, either! Still, I know you've been working hard, so I want to let you know that I've been cheering you on!

I may not be high enough of a rank to serve as a mentor, but I have been working on something with Rengoku-sama. I'm going to be helping him and Tanjirō-kun out with an upcoming mission soon. You said that you've met Uzui-sama, right? We'll be working with him. It sounds like Zenitsu-kun and Inosuke-kun will be coming along with us, too. I promise that I'll keep an eye out for them, so you can count on me.

Once we're done, though, we should make plans to meet up again, whatever it takes to make that happen. Maybe I'll ask Rengoku-sama to pull some strings or something. Your letters are great, but I do miss seeing you in person. Whenever we get the chance, would you be willing to swing my way and have a talk over another cup of coffee with me? I'd like that a lot. I'll give you an update when we finish up this mission, so keep an eye out for that letter, Rairi-kun.

Yours,
Shimizu

[Author's Notes]

Happy anniversary to walk steady! This is a special double update here to both celebrate my usual fanfiction posting extravaganza as well as the fact that this fic is officially one year old! Because of that, I'll drop off a pile of the usual author's notes shenanigans in the next chapter, but this one was fun to do with all the different mail to cover a lot of different events because things are about to start boiling forward!

It's time for a Taishō Era Secret! Rairi was planning on visiting Zenitsu for his birthday, but they got a mission, which caused a change of plans. Instead, they compromised by making him a flower crown when they got the chance. Chuntarō tried to carry it on his own, but it was too much for him, so Tadashi helped.

On the mentee side, Rairi's been working with Michi. While it was awkward at first, they're getting along well enough since Rairi decided to take their job seriously, no matter who they got assigned. While Michi's in the mid-ranks, Oyakata-sama is experimenting with how much this level of Slayers can benefit from mentor help as well.

Meanwhile, with Kaigaku, Kei has become his mentee. She's currently a Mizunoe, though she's due for a promotion soon, and she's a part of the most recent group of Final Selection contenders. She first took interest in Rairi after she heard rumors of the Slayer that openly complained about the structure of Final Selection, and seeing them in action on the group beach mission increased their interest. At the moment, Kei's goal is to become as skilled as Rairi is, though they use different Total Concentration styles.

Next Time (as in, give me ten minutes to prep that update): Interlude: Shi. Please look forward to it!

-Avi

[01.02.2022]