walk steady on this cruel world's path

By: Aviantei

Part Thirty-Three:

"Separate Storm Clouds"

I couldn't breathe.

If you told me that I was in the middle of a nightmare, I would have believed you. Someone I cared about hurt? Check. Someone else I cared about an enemy before me? Check. The complete and utter feeling of paralysis that prevented me from being able to move or help anything that was happening before me? Check.

If only you'd never woken up here. This is all because of you.

Except I knew. I knew this wasn't a nightmare, because I hadn't had a nightmare in months, since my breakdown on the Mugen Train. Even the night where I'd gotten wasted and forgotten my meds, I'd managed to sleep in total peace—and, well, Kochō Shinobu was a goddamn genius. Whenever she made a drug, it did what it was supposed to do.

I was very much awake, which meant this was reality.

"Kaigaku," I said again, my voice not even sounding like I was speaking at all. "What happened?"

"Come on, Rairi-senpai. You're smarter than that." Kaigaku flicked his sword, blood splattering onto the dirt as he turned around, like Michi was some toy he'd lost interest in. "It's what it looks like. Oh, but if I'd known you'd been assigned here, too, I would have come and greeted you first." I stared, trying to make logical sense of what was going on. I'd gotten a letter back from Kaigaku not even a few weeks ago, and I'd just been waiting on his reply to my response to send him the present I'd gotten him. In such a short amount of time, how the fuck had we gotten here? "What, you of all people don't have anything to say? That's not like you at all, Rairi-senpai."

He wasn't wrong. I had a nasty habit of talking shit in all the worst possible moments—and yet I couldn't unstick my tongue from the roof of my mouth. Even if I could pull that off, though, I was more convinced all that would come out would be vomit rather than words. What the fuck was I supposed to say, supposed to do?

He's a demon now. You know what you're supposed to do.

I was a Demon Slayer. It was in the goddamn name. It wasn't supposed to matter if you'd known them when they were human; demons were still the enemy, still needed to be defeated. Yes, they had souls that needed to be set free, but, other than that, they were monsters that would kill if left alone. We couldn't afford to show mercy because of personal connections—and maybe I would have believed that if I didn't know the exception.

Nezuko was more than enough proof that becoming a demon didn't mean you had to become a monster. She'd even been granted amnesty from Oyakata-sama so long as she continued not to eat humans, so maybe—

"Okay, Kaigaku, let's talk," I said, glancing down to where Michi was on the ground. He was still, yes, but there wasn't an excessive amount of blood, and I could just make out the movement of his chest. He was still breathing, thank goodness. "I know there's a chance you haven't heard about this, but one of my friends has a younger sister who's a demon. She hasn't eaten anyone, so the Corps is letting her live. Michi-san's not going to die if he gets care soon, so if you haven't hurt anyone else, I'm sure we can—"

Kaigaku laughed. I'd maybe heard the sound a few times in all the years I'd known him, but it was always smaller—a snort here, a subdued chuckle there. What I heard right then was so different from any of that: a full-blown belly laugh that was filled with more mocking scorn than anything else. "Don't be naïve. You don't get it at all, do you? What transforming is like." I—I didn't. I'd never seen a newborn demon, never had that experience. "I had my first meal before I even realized what was happening. Not to mention that you two aren't the first Slayers to show up here. Why do you think you got assigned to this place?"

From a logical standpoint, it made sense. Tadashi had warned us that we were up against a demon that had already beaten other Demon Slayers. In the back of my mind, I'd already known it, that Kaigaku was beyond saving, but the idea of drawing my sword to decapitate my own kōhai was so awful that I didn't want to think of it.

You can't just leave him, though. I'm not just a Demon Slayer, but I'm his senpai, too. Kaigaku is my responsibility. So I'll—

Taking a shaky breath, I drew my sword.

Kaigaku's face broke out into a grin, his new fangs prominent in the expression, and his blade flashed back up into position. "You're going to try and fight me, Rairi-senpai? Go ahead—now that I've become a demon, I'm way stronger than I was before. Give it your best shot."

It took me longer than usual, my heart aching all the while, but I managed to find that focused boost within Total Concentration, some of my battle instincts taking over. There was no call of the rules, no agreeance to not make any fatal strikes. Those training days were long over, and now we had no choice but to fight to the death.

Stand proud as a student of Thunder Breathing.

I made that my focus, rather than the nightmare that was unraveling before me, and I charged. In our usual bouts, I had speed as one of my advantages, but Kaigaku knew well enough what Thunder Breathing was capable of. He read my charge without issue, raising his sword to counter, and we exchanged a few blows—but he hadn't been joking about his increased strength, either. While his technical skill was at about the same level, his strikes were stronger than ever, and, for the first time since we had started sparring over two and a half years ago, my grip slipped enough that Kaigaku's next blow knocked my sword right out of my hands, far enough away that I couldn't recover it without exposing myself to an attack, and that hesitation on what to do next cost me.

Kaigaku's foot slammed into my chest not even a breath later, the force knocking me straight to the ground and the following stomp cracking against my ribs as my head bounced off the ground. His sword came down in a flash of metal next, stabbing right into the dirt not even a breath's width away from my neck, and, though I should have been more concerned over how easy it would be for him to slit my throat and be done with it, my brain instead decided to focus on how the once golden yellow thunderbolt pattern on Kaigaku's sword had been stained to black.

"You call that a fight? You're disappointing me, Rairi-senpai. You should be able to do better than that as one of the old man's successors."

Not Sensei, I noticed, but a dismissive old man. Was there even a piece of Kaigaku still in there? Should I want there to be, or would that just make it harder? Either way, he was right: I hadn't given him my all, which was beyond pathetic—but that didn't mean I had to give up. If I was going to die here, I wasn't going to give Kaigaku an easy victory in the slightest, and I glared up at him as best I could muster while my lungs screamed under the pressure of his foot compressing them down.

Kaigaku sneered back at me. "What do you think you're going to accomplish by just scowling at me like that? You think that would do any good in the face of an Upper Moon? Of Him? When you're just a weak and fragile human? Do you understand the fucking position you're in?!" His shout snapped into the air like the roar of thunder, not all that different from the dinner where he'd exploded in anger over Sensei naming us all as his joint successors. "You don't understand how powerful they are! You can fight all you want, but you're never going to be able to defeat them. All you'd be doing is throwing your damn life away!"

No, this was different than when he'd exploded at Sensei's declaration. That night he'd been full of anger and rage, but now there was something else, some sort of desperation, an undeniable fear of the higher powers.

Had Kaigaku…met an Upper Moon? Kibutsuji? I didn't know, and I was too busy failing to breathe to be able to ask.

Kaigaku pulled his hand off the hilt of his sword, leaving it stuck in the dirt as he reached inside his kimono. "You're lucky, Rairi," he said, -senpai missing from the end of my name, as if knocking me down was all it had taken for him to decide I was no longer worthy of his respect. "He's interested in seeing you alive." He? As in Kibutsuji? What the hell for? "So I can make sure you live. You just need to become a demon, too, and everything will be alright. You're strong; I'm sure you can survive the transformation." The awful taste in my mouth got worse, and even more so as Kaigaku pulled out a vial filled with a dark liquid that I guessed was blood. If I consumed that, then I, too… "Just take it and drink it, Rairi. It's that easy."

It would be that easy, and that was what was terrifying about it. Drink one little vial and abandon humanity—but for what? Strength? Immortality? Survival? If I didn't, what would happen? Would Kaigaku kill me? Michi? By all logic, I should be dead already—what the fuck could be important enough that Kibutsuji Muzan, the literal Main Antagonist and progenitor of all goddamn demons, wanted me, a Slayer who just had my big mouth and a mentorship program to my name, alive?

"Why?" I asked, my voice a winded and pathetic reflection of itself. "Why even bother with someone like me?"

"Are you kidding me right now? Like you don't know what you are—that you're not from here, not like the rest of us." If I had had the capability to do so, I would have gasped. Failing that, I could feel my stomach falling right out of me. While I wouldn't say I'd done a perfect job of keeping my time/dimension traveling under wraps, I didn't think I'd done anything to give myself away enough that fucking Kibutsuji would know where I was from. "I didn't know what to think when I first heard it, but it makes perfect sense, doesn't it? I've never met anyone else like you, Rairi. But that's not what's important here, because if you're like her, then you know, don't you? About what's going to happen in the future. Why wouldn't He want that?"

Oh, god, what?

Somehow Kibutsuji knew. He knew that this world wasn't on its own; he knew that I'd come from somewhere else—he fucking knew that I had access to something that would tell how the story of this world was supposed to go. Not that I knew jack shit that would be helpful, but the fact that he'd found something like that out did not bear well for my health and safety whatsoever.

"You've known all along, haven't you? Was it fun for you? Playing the good senpai when you knew how I'd turn out? No wonder you gave that piece of scum all your attention. Because I wasn't going to be worth it—not when I turned out like this, huh? Stringing me along, like you thought I was going to be worth something in the end, huh?! Well? What the fuck do you have to say for yourself, Rairi?!"

"You're wrong!"

With the new glow of his turquoise irises contrasted against the black sclera, it was easy to see the way Kaigaku narrowed his eyes at me, even in the dark. But I'd never backed down from his rage before, and I wasn't about to start now, even when I was at an undeniable disadvantage.

"I didn't know a goddamn thing! If I had—do you think I would have just let this happen without a fight?!" I could have known, though, and that just made it worse. If I'd picked up a fucking manga volume, maybe this wouldn't have happened—maybe I could have saved him. "I already know that I haven't done a single good thing by showing up unprepared, but I never asked for this. If I could go back and make it so I had a fraction of a chance at knowing anything that could keep you safe, I'd do it, but I can't, so I don't know what you or Kibutsuji fucking want from me!"

Kaigaku stared, some of the anger melting out of his expression as he looked at me with surprise on his face. "You don't know, do you? You don't know about anything." Running his free hand over his face, he laughed again, though the sound was mirthless. "Well, I guess Urokodaki didn't have to fucking worry about you, did she? Should have kept her mouth shut, then."

Uroko… I thought as a fresh sensation of dread joined the nausea already spiraling in my stomach before the realization proper hit me. While I'd written about her plenty of times, I couldn't recall a single instance of Kaigaku talking about Shimizu before, let alone referring to her by name, so it took me a moment to make the connection. "Shimizu-chan," I whispered. "What does Shimizu-chan have to do with any of this?" She was my friend, sure, but I was the outlier in this situation, unless…

"What a fucking joke. You sit there and fawn over her all the time, but you didn't even realize she was like you?" Shimizu, like me. Shimizu from a world where Kimetsu no Yaiba was just a story to enjoy. Shimizu, not part of this world whatsoever—and Kaigaku knew about it. "Not that I had any clue until a week or so ago, but you'd think you'd at least be able to tell. Well, not that it matters, since she's dead now."

I'd managed to catch my wind, but that sentence knocked the breath straight out of me all over again. Shimizu, dead; Kaigaku, a demon. How could these things just happen without any warning whatsoever? Just like that, two people I loved were gone—one killed, the other I'd have to kill if I wanted to fulfill my duty as a Demon Slayer. It was Kaigaku or me, but if I had to fight him just so I'd live, I'd rather—

"Don't you get it, Rairi?" Kaigaku knelt down, his knee still keeping me pinned in place, though my arms were free. He pressed his hand against mine, the smooth glass surface of the vial separating our palms. Despite his new claws, his touch was gentle, and his hand was warm. "No one can stand up to Him. Even if you don't know anything, it's still safer for you to be a demon, to be on the winning side—"

In the next second, Kaigaku's weight vanished from my chest, and I gasped for unhindered air. A powerful gust cut through the place where Kaigaku had just been, Michi's Wind Breathing technique kicking up dust. Kaigaku had dodged the attack, landing further down the street, and, coughing, I forced myself to at least sit up so I'd be less vulnerable. Even without my sword, I could fall back into the rhythm of Total Concentration: Constant to not be dead weight.

What I wanted for myself was one thing, but I couldn't give up whenever I was still responsible for Michi.

"Just like I thought: you're a real arrogant asshole, aren't you?" Michi said, spitting at the ground. While in any other situation he would have pressed the advantage, my unarmed status kept him standing guard over me, which I was both grateful for and guilty about. "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, but trying to force someone to make the same mistake as you is complete bullshit. Rairi-senpai stood up for you, and look at you now!"

"You've sure gotten cocky, huh? Learned how to say shit to my face, I see." Kaigaku had grabbed his sword during his dodge, but he didn't move into a ready stance, though I watched his form for any sign that he was about to unleash an attack while trying to find where the hell my katana had landed. "Whatever, I don't have time to waste on weaklings like you." Michi bristled, but Kaigaku looked my way, one of his fingers pointing at my fist, where I had grabbed onto the vial he'd passed onto me. "You can keep that blood. Whenever you decide you want to join us, just drink it. If you haven't by the next time we see each other, well…I won't be able to get away with sparing you again. So make the right choice, okay? I won't keep using this place as a hunting ground, but I'll still be waiting for you, Rairi-senpai."

Kaigaku drew in a breath—and then he was gone, disappeared into the dark. "Hey, get back here—ggh!" Michi doubled over after his shout, gripping at his side, and I rushed to support him, making sure he didn't end up faceplanted on the ground again.

"Take it easy," I said, managing to keep us both upright despite the fact that I was still trembling. "Even if you use Total Concentration to help a wound heal, you'll just open it up again if you push it."

"Yeah, but we just can't let him go—"

"The priority is making it out of the mission alive, Michi-san. How many times have I had to tell you that?" There was no fucking point whatsoever in hunting down demons if we sacrificed our own pieces in the process; that was the whole damn premise of my mentorship program in the first place. "I have a duty to keep you as safe as possible, Michi-san, and letting you run off after an enemy while injured won't help us." Hell, Thunder Breathing user or not, I didn't even know if I could keep up with Kaigaku now without pushing it, and that would involve leaving Michi vulnerable. "You just need to focus on your breathing, and we'll get you to the closest Wisteria House, you understand me? That's an order."

Michi clicked his tongue, but he didn't argue, letting me help wrap up his injury. "Yes, Rairi-senpai."

Though I would have more than deserved it, not once did Michi mention that it wouldn't have mattered if I had chased after Kaigaku instead, because there was no way I could have brought myself to kill him.

[Author's Notes]

Are y'all sick of me and my rude-ass plot reveals yet?

Thanks much to EmptySpot, TheGralisVoice, jcquelindefauchy, ILikeFoxes828, Knidew, AMTrekkie1990, gg (Guest), KloanaDreams, CDS0407, WooHyeon, flowerybomber, Shadowarrior13, LukaLukaa, rolearm, LeBlueHelix, LewtonSpoons, Ripstershadow, Mr- Jay black, Midorizaru, Ene124, Growlen, normaazucenamartinezarana, Pizzafizah, guremu, Alara16, noahha0409, Crosswald, and Chris Felipe for the favorites, follows, and reviews! I know I'm putting y'all through a lot with these chapters, so the support means a ton!

Demon Kaigaku is a lot to deal with (but we love a problematic disaster boi anyways), but he's also very interesting to write. I very much feel that Kibutsuji does some intentional manipulation of demons to twist their feelings in a way that brings out the worst in them, so here's some of the worst of Kaigaku on full display. Rairi is not having a good time whatsoever.

A couple of promos! First up is for another kny OC Insert fic that I've adored, that being KloanaDreams's The Wisteria. More queer OC content, more insert shenanigans, and a ton of excellent pre-canon character interactions that are super enjoyable to read. If you want something to pass the time with until I drop the next rude-ass chapter on you, this fic's a good way to do it!

And another promo for my own fic Muse, an OC-centric, post-OG game The World Ends with You story. I know I've mentioned it before, but next week is the final epilogue going up, so I'd love to see people read it since I worked super hard on it. As for my other fics, more scattered updates coming soon once I wrap up the [Shibuya Operation - Story Storm] season!

It's time for a Taishō Era Secret! Rairi has had a pretty moderate view on demons. They have some level of sympathy for them, but for the most part Rairi still views them as monsters. Facing Kaigaku is the first time they've had to process the humanity of a demon in full force during a fight, so it's difficult for them to act.

Next Time: Every time you return home, something else is different. Please look forward to it!

-Avi

[02.26.2022]