(Team Fortress 2 Soundtrack: A Little Heart To Heart)
"MERAAASMUUUUUSSS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME! MAGGOT!?" Soldier yelled at the top of his lungs. Grabbing the unconscious wizard with both hands before violently shaking him.
"MERAAASMUUUUUSSS! WAKE UP YOU MAGGOT! WAKE UUUUUUUP!" Soldier yelled again but this time at Merasmus' ear, clearly more than enough to jolt him back consciously.
"WHAT THE HELL!?" Finally, Merasmus snapped at him in response before pulling away immediately. But to Merasmus' surprise - He only stared at the Soldier in rather confusion. "What in the hell am I seeing..." Merasmus stared at the Soldier from head to toe in confusion shortly before it became a look of shock. "So-Soldier? What the... Hell... Happened to you?"
Soldier gritted his teeth then clenched his fists before yelling in response. "YOU TELL ME MAGGOT! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?"
Merasmus gulped before stuttering nonsensical slurs in his sort of way to try and find any reason to respond, only for the Soldier to grab him by his robe. "MERASMUS! I AM NOT A WOMAN! I KNOW YOU DID THIS TO ME, MAGGOT! CHANGE ME BACK! NOW!"
"Soldier - I don't think there's any way I can do that... I mean - I've never tried a spell of bending the gender of an individual, and I am not sure if Bombinomicon-" Merasmus was slammed on the sandy ground.
"WHAAAAAAT!? YOU WILL CHANGE ME BACK NOW! OR I AM GOING TO PULL A RABBIT OUT OF YOUR ASS, WIZARD!" Soldier's feminine voice made Merasmus to stiffen back further on the sandy ground before raising his hands in surrender.
"Soldier, listen to me! Bombinomicon - He sent us here right where we are! If we can get to him, then maybe I can get him to change you back to normal and then we can resume our fighting-" "I WANT YOU TO CHANGE ME BACK NOW, MAGGOT!" Soldier threateningly demanded.
"Soldier, I already told you - I don't think there's any way I can do tha-" Merasmus' eyes went wide before shielding himself with his wrists as Soldier screamed and raised his fists ready to attack. "-Soldier! Listen to me at once, woman!"
"AAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Soldier yelled out and grabbed Merasmus by the robe and began shaking him violently yet again. "I AM NOT A WOMAN, MAGGOT! I AM NOT A WOMAAAAAAAAAANNN!"
"Sol - Dier! Stop! I - I'm going - To vomit!" Merasmus tried to get his words out but failed as he unfortunately ended up vomiting on the sand.
"EEEEUUUUGH! YOU ALMOST VOMITED ON MY UNIFORM! YOU DISGUSTING MAGGOT!" Soldier immediately let go of the wizard before immediately pulling himself back away as Merasmus continually vomited on the sand uncomfortably.
After a few moments, Merasmus finally stopped vomiting before heading over the edge of the shore to wash himself quickly. But after a brief moment of wiping himself dry, the wizard then turned to Soldier who had his arms folded on his chest - Squeezing those jiggly round pair underneath his red uniform to which, displeases the Soldier even more, judging by the look on his -Her- uncomfortable face.
"Soldier... Please listen." Merasmus before before standing up. "I hate you. But can we just please - Stop fighting for now? We need to know where we are. Once we know where we are exactly - Then we can find a way to get back home and resume fighting." Merasmus added. Although, he was too hesitant about the words that he had said since he never really liked the Soldier. But the last thing that he needed was being stuck with Soldier -Her- on a random place which, he wanted to get over with the sooner the better.
Soldier grumbled shortly by the time Merasmus finished his statement. His teeth gritted in his pursed lips before signing frustratingly. "F... FINE..! I WON'T TRY TO KILL YOU! BUT KEEP YOUR FILTHY MAGIC TO YOURSELF, MAGGOT!"
Merasmus almost sighed in relief but didn't as he didn't wanted to provoke the Soldier. So instead, he immediately went over to grab his wooden staff before looking around the surroundings. "We are in a bay... Hmm... I've never seen any bay like this... A little secluded..?"
"I KNOW WE ARE, MAGGOT! NOW WHERE DO WE GO?" Soldier interrupted shortly with a huff as he - She- walked up to him to look around the surrounding areas.
Merasmus frowned shortly at the given response. But he was wise not to argue at the current situation they were in. "We should go ask around. Maybe we can get some help to know where exactly we are right now."
"LEAD ON, MAGGOT!" Soldier responded while inspecting his -Her- Direct Hit rocket launcher.
"Soldier, put that away! Do you want us to get arrested?" Merasmus scowled immediately with his arms up in the air.
"I AM CARRYING ALL OF MY WEAPONS IF I WANT TO, MAGGOT! I WANT TO CARRY IT!" Soldier snapped in response, making Merasmus pinch the bridge of his nose.
"Right... Right... You need to be able to protect yourself, seeing..." Merasmus muttered but stopped. Noticing the Soldier's entire physic. Soldier is indeed a woman in his eyes. Merasmus nearly cringed, and part of him almost made him feel like he's about to wheeze from the sound of Soldier's feminine voice that sounded a 30 year old woman as a counterpart to his usually insane male voice.
"DO NOT LOOK AT ME, MAGGOT! DID I GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO LOOK AT ME?" Merasmus was snapped back to reality by Soldier's demanding question.
"I... I... Right... Sorry about that - But you need to... How do I say this... Oh right! - You need to stay close. You are a woman as of now and I am sure that we are both aware of most men on the streets." Merasmus slowly said. Carefully pursuing every word out of his mouth in a good way possible as to not provoke the Soldier.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAID, MAGGOT? I AM NOT A WOMAN!" Soldier furiously yelled in rage.
"Soldier, I didn't mean anything by that. I am not body shaming you, neither being sexist. I am only trying to give you the idea to please stay close since we are in some random place. At least until we get back home, then we can get Bombinomicon to change you back to normal then we can continue fighting. Let's make a Deal. Soldier." Merasmus stated. Only this time, in a rather firm voice as he folded his arms.
"GAAAH! THIS ISNT NECESSARY, MAGGOT!" Soldier replied angrily.
"I do believe it is, Soldier. I hate you, and I still hate you. But that's not going to help as of now if we want to find out where we are exactly before finding a way back home." Merasmus stated firmly. But deep down inside; he was hoping it would convince the Soldier. In fact, Merasmus couldn't help but feel more concerned about their current situation, than to resume his interrupted fight with the Soldier...
"FINE! BUT I STILL HATE YOU! MAGGOT!" Soldier snapped before donning his -Her- helmet back on.
"At least refer to yourself as a... Woman for now. Soldier. It would be... Strange and inappropriate to refer you as... You know what I mean..." Merasmus mumbled before dusting off sand on his robe.
"ALL RIGHT, MAGGOT! IF IT MAKES YOU ANY HAPPY TO INSULT ME! CAN WE JUST GO NOW? SO WE CAN GET BACK HOME AND I CAN KICK YOUR ASS AGAIN!" Soldier angrily replied. This made Merasmus pinch the bridge of his nose again before responding.
"I am not saying this to insult you, Soldier. But yes. Let us move now and not waste any more time arguing because of you being a woman." "DAMMIT, MERAAASMUUUS!" The wizard halfway rolled his eyes before taking the lead on the long steps up.
Finding themselves on the street sidewalk, Merasmus saw the vehicles passing by looking... Differently. He was no expert with these such, but living for hundreds of years in different civilizations, he was sure of it that these vehicles are exactly used, and were used during the 30s and especially in the 40s era. But what left Merasmus confused was the passerby people. Not all of them appears to be 'human' to say the least. Some looked like fish, others, robot or automaton. While the rest just looked... Hideously different... Humanoid, but not human at all.
"WELL? WHAT NOW?" Hearing Soldier asking next to him. Merasmus turns to the patriot.
"Aren't you finding this strange and bizarre, Soldier? The vehicles, the people mostly and... What in the hell..?" Merasmus stopped when his eyes met the gaze of the buildings. He must be lacking sleep and hallucinating. Either that, or he's just losing it like the Soldier. "Those buildings looked vintage... Soldier. Tell me... Am I hallucinating?"
"I THINK YOU'RE JUST CRAZY, MAGGOT. WHAT ABOUT THESE UGLY HIPPIES? IF YOU'VE SEEN WHAT THAT MAGGOT PYRO SEES - THIS IS NORMAL." Soldier responded in a rather, lazy way, despite her yelled out response.
Merasmus didn't said anything in response as he was in fact dumbfounded by Soldier's response at him. But deciding to drop the conversation, he immediately pointed across the road and into the buildings and all sorts of establishments, all in the style of the 40s era for the most part, but one particular establishment, a smaller one gained Merasmus' attention with a little human boy vendor selling newspapers. "Let's cross the road over there." Merasmus finally said. Soldier however, just followed along while minding her own business by carrying her Direct Hit, resting over her shoulder - Regardless of the people shooting wary glances at her and Merasmus' direction.
As they finally crossed the road along, with other people giving them wary looks, the tall wizard and the deranged patriot walked passed a diner, to which, Soldier stopped on her tracks in front of the large pane windows. "LOOK, MAGGOT! A DINER! I HAVE MONEY WITH ME, AND I AM HUNGRY!"
Embarrassment is what fueled on Merasmus. People glancing at their direction, probably due to his varied height, and presumably due to Soldier's constant yelling for communication. "Um.. Yes... Go on, help yourself out Soldier. I'll... I'll just buy a newspaper-" By the time Merasmus turned around to Soldier, he was surprised to no longer see the deranged redheaded woman on a helmet but a quick glimpse of her boot entering the diner before the door shortly closed for a split second. 'Dammit, woman -Wait... Oh... Right. Soldier is indeed in fact a WOMAN... At least for now...' Merasmus mentally told himself, but felt uneasy as he decided to approached the bystander for newspaper. He didn't felt any comfortable being surrounded by the multiple images of these.. People, when almost so many of them don't even looked like human. At least, minus the few passerby... 'Keep it together, Merasmus. You're a wizard. Just be calm, and buy a newspaper.'
"Excuse me, little boy? How much is for a newspaper?" Merasmus asked as he looked down at the little boy, to where he assumed was probably 7, and was dressed in the fashion of the 40s era. Merasmus was feeling even more uneasy because of this.
"10 Canopy coins, Mister Necromancer!" The boy replied with a toothy smile, showing that he had a missing teeth as he smiled politely at Merasmus.
Merasmus was confused by this. "Canopy coins? Um... Is that... The main currency here? - I'm sorry, but where is this place if I may ask, little boy?" Merasmus asked the very question that he was so eager to ask.
"Why, you're in New Meridian, of course! The city of Canopy Kingdom!" The boy replied happily.
"Canopy Kingdom? Wait... What..?" Merasmus was dumbfounded again but after a brief moment of thinking, he realized what the boy meant. "This is a country, that's a Kingdom, in the middle of the... Is the year... 1940?"
The boy grinned. "1941, Mister Necromancer! And yes! This is a country! A scary one!"
Merasmus was overwhelmed by the words the boy has said. But he didn't wanted to waste any more time as he decided to reach for his pocket then to his wallet. "Now, I do not have any 'Canopy' coins. But I do have a spare 20 dollar change." Merasmus paused. His eyes focused down at the boy looking up at him in confusion, mixed with curiosity. "Would you kindly accept a 20 dollar bill for a newspaper, youngling?"
"Did you come from a foreign country, Mister Necromancer?" The boy asked, surprising Merasmus.
He wasn't sure what was going on, neither he could explain where he and Soldier even came from, much like he could explain what part of the global map he and Soldier are in themselves. But deciding to respond, Merasmus pulled down the scarf covering most of the lower half of his face then smiled politely at the boy. "Why yes. Its in a... Very far away land called the United States of America. Do you know that country?"
The boy's eyes widened in curiosity before shaking his head. "I've never heard of a country with that name. Especially when I don't remember of a country with its own united states. Most countries around the world are kingdoms of separate lands and territories." The boy pointed out a thoughtfully, to which Merasmus took mental note of. "But I can accept your 20 currency bill, since... I take it you're new here on New Meridian?"
Merasmus let out a mental sigh of relief as he gave a nod before gladly handing the 20 dollar bill to the boy who gladly handed him a newly rolled newspaper. "Thank you for your purchase, Mister Necromancer!"
Merasmus gave a small nod but before he was about to head to the diner and join the Soldier, he smiled back at the boy shortly before giving one response. "By the way. I am a Wizard. Have a great day, youngling."
Merasmus then walked away and made his way to the diner to Soldier but as he was headed on his way - Merasmus took notice of a group of armed men, wearing what appeared to be dark green and lightly yellow striped suits. Their helmets looked like it a bucket as to what Merasmus could make of, but as he studied the armed men, they all wore gas masks. - Merasmus took notice of the weaponry they all held Machinepistole 40 or, the Mp40 submachine guns. One held a Sturmgewehr 44, or mostly known as the StG 44, and even a few equipped with MG42 machine guns. All in which, the weapons Merasmus noticed were all used by the German Nazi most notably during the second World War... Merasmus was now becoming even more confused.
But as he placed the rolled newspaper under his robe, he decided to watch the armed men march down the street, and even seeing himself that the 'people' of this New Meridian city, were cheering for these armed men - To which Merasmus realized as a group of armed military men by the time he noticed a few tanks. Strangely enough for Merasmus - These tanks all looked similar to the World War tanks commonly used by Germany. Except of a Nazi insignia. He noticed an umbrella on a circle as the main insignia bared by the tanks, and the soldiers marching on the street.
"You seem to be in awe by the way you stare at my men. I suppose you have not seen such a military march down the streets? Let alone, a special forces..?" A slightly young feminine voice suddenly spoke to him.
Merasmus immediately looked down to see a long, red-haired woman wearing a tightly black dress, showing her curvy feminine figure, along with her visibly round chest being squeezed by her tightly black dress, as well as her own thighs, down to her legs being noticeably exposing her bare skin on her legs, regardless of her lower limbs without any clothing.
Merasmus immediately made eye contact with the young woman, as to seeing that she held nothing but a black umbrella on one hand - Which was odd enough for Merasmus to see the umbrella having some sort of golden spores. "I've seen other militaries, but... I'm more used to seeing mercenaries..." Merasmus slowly responded, as to see nothing wrong in telling some truth. - Indeed he was more used to seeing mercenaries, as courtesy to the mercenaries of the Mann brothers.
The woman raised an eyebrow shortly before asking. "Do you work with mercenaries?" She paused, then began studying Merasmus from head to toe. "I don't see you as a mercenary type... More evidently - You look more like a wizard, perhaps even a Necromancer..."
Merasmus slightly shrugged it off. "I'm mistook earlier for a Necromancer. Though, I do know of necromancy, but I'm just a wizard." Merasmus responded, and studied the young woman's expression. - She seemed calm, or rather... Stoic for the most part as she stared up at him with a raised eyebrow.
"I've heard and seen worse. But still. I'm surprised to see an actual wizard. Considering, almost everyone here are used to many strange things, Wizards are hardly anything new here for New Meridian. Perhaps, rare, if that is the right word to describe you yourself..." The woman simply said.
"Those soldiers. Are they with you?" Merasmus suddenly asked, and to see the young woman giving him a small nod.
"Those soldier you see, are Canopy Kingdom's elite military force. The Black Egrets." Merasmus gave a small nod, fully acknowledging the statement.
"And you must be their Captain?" Merasmus asked, but the young woman in response, slowly shake her head.
"No. I am the Princess of Canopy Kingdom. I am in charge of the Black Egrets. But in a way, yes. I serve as their Commander, and I lead them to battles personally." This surprises Merasmus in an instant. A princess? In charge of an elite military force? Merasmus was overwhelmed by so many questions. This kingdom of a country, this city, the currency, military etc. The Princess... The timeline..?
With the young woman opening up her umbrella and lifting it upwards, she began to walk away in silence after the last batch of soldiers and tanks marching the road.
"So, you are a Princess... May I ask for your name?" Merasmus immediately asked by the time he saw her walk away. - The young woman turned her head over to her shoulder without any expression on her face under the dark shade of her black golden spored umbrella.
"My name is Parasoul."