at· tach· ment
\ ə-ˈtach-mənt \
" affectionate regard for a relationship "
•
November 3rd, 1995
Friday
•
h.s.
I woke up that morning with the biggest smile on my face in a long time.
I nearly sprung out of my bed when my alarm went off, getting ready way quicker than normal, and made my way to the common room with Luke's copy of Salem's Lot tucked in my arm. There were thirty minutes left to spare until I needed to leave for breakfast.
Angelica sat on her usual beanbag, writing on a scroll while her Divination textbook lain on her lap as she flipped through the pages. She noticed me up early and furrowed her eyebrows when I slumped onto a beanbag not too far away.
I opened the book I had and looked at Luke's note, rereading it multiple times and I couldn't help but smile wider at his messy handwriting.
'Love, Luke'. My cheeks began to hurt as I reread that same line for the next few minutes.
That's when Angelica cleared her throat to catch my attention and I flicked my eyes up, her face still painted with confusion.
I blinked,"What?"
She furrowed her eyebrows even worse,"Who are you and what have you done with Hera?"
"What?" I had no idea what she meant.
She only sighed, shaking her head as she looked back down at her textbook,"You're acting different."
"How?"
"Well, for once, you're up and ready before the last minute for breakfast," Angelica said it like she wasn't always getting ready last minute every morning for breakfast,"And you keep smiling."
"I smile all the time," I put the note back in the book, trying hard not to crease the delicate paper.
"Not like this," she didn't even look at me as she accused me,"And don't say that you don't. I haven't seen you smile that wide since you came back from summer vacation and told Julie and I about your first-"
"Told you and I what?" Julie came around the corner, for someone who was always put together..she was looking more of a train wreck than I've ever seen her within the past days.
"Remember when Hera came back from summer vacation her fifth year and told us about her and-?"
"Yeah, sure," Julie sounded bitter as she sat next to me,"What's that?"
Angelica blinked, looking almost defeated as Julie motioned to the book.
"Uh, Luke's book he lent me," I felt another grin creep onto my face and Julie frowned,"Okay, what now?"
"You're smiling."
I groaned as I put my head in my hands,"Can't I be happy without being questioned?"
"Depends on what you're happy about," Julie sounded pitiful,"I'm guessing it's about Luke."
"Luke and I are going on our first date today," I blurted out, my face turning slightly pink at the thought and Angelica let out a cackle.
"Finally. I thought it was never going to happen," she closed her textbook, not even putting a bookmark between the pages,"So, are you two a couple now?"
"Yeah," I said dreamily, my mind going off as I said,"I told him I wanted to be his girlfriend and it just...morphed from there."
"Wow, you made the first move for once," Angelica sounded impressed,"Didn't think you had it in you."
"Just because you can get anyone you can doesn't mean other people can," Julie lashed out and I got out of my dream state as I looked at her.
"Uh, Jules-"
"Is it just me who noticed how random it is that everyone is finding someone?" Julie sounded nearly in tears, her voice cracking randomly before she stood up and stared at Angelica like she wanted to make her disappear,"I'm going to breakfast early."
She didn't say anything else as she grabbed her messenger bag and walked out of the common room.
I looked over at Angelica and she swallowed before sighing,"I don't understand why she's mad at me. It's like..ever since the Halloween party, she's been avoiding me."
"Did you say anything to her?" I think about things that happened that night but it was a blur as I remembered how groggy the world around me was after Luke and I's escapade.
"I don't think it's anything I said.." she stared off into space,"I think it's something I did. I've thought about it and..I think Julie..."
She trailed off before shaking her head,"But what do I know? Teenage girls and stuff."
"Yeah.." but I couldn't shake the thought from my head, wondering if Angelica and I had the same conclusion,"So, how are you and Flynn?"
"Oh, we're fine. I think we have a great connection," Angelica flashed me a smile but still couldn't seem to focus on anything else other than the Julie thing as she stared at the wall.
"Well..that's good."
A few minutes later, we decided to head to the Great Hall, not making so much as a sound as Angelica stayed in her thought bubble while we floated down the halls.
It wasn't long before we were suddenly met with Malachi Covington sliding out of his classroom directly in front of us, his hands clasped behind his back,"Hello, Anahera."
I almost shivered at just the sight of him, watching him do the Kubrick stare directly at me and not even looking over at Angelica until she cleared her throat,"Uh, can we help you, Professor Covington?"
"I simply need to speak with Miss Sincaid for a moment, very urgent homework matter."
I knew it probably had nothing to do with homework but Angelica seemed to still be in her bubble, halfway connected to Earth. She turned to me and I sighed, licking my lips,"I'll be at breakfast in a minute. Go on."
She blinked but nodded, looking in between us a few times before turning around and walking off. I noticed her turn her head back to us a few times and I almost yearned that she came back and would fight for me to go with her.
Alas, that did not happen as Malachi said,"Would you mind following me into my classroom?"
Do I have a choice? I thought as I looked back at Angelica slowly disappearing down the hall,"I would rather stay here, if you don't mind."
"I insist, what I'd like to discuss with you is not a public matter, you see," he glanced around, paranoid probably that ghosts were roaming and eavesdropping,"It's about your lineage."
I didn't want to feel intrigued but just by the mention of my family, it almost made me yearn. I wasn't getting anywhere with Caleb so was it so bad to-?
"Ah! There you are!" I heard a voice behind me and felt an arm wrap around my shoulder,"I know I said to wait for me but we're gonna be late for breakfast if you don't hurry."
Malachi and I seemed to have the same sour expressions as Laddie suddenly appeared..but it was somehow comforting knowing that he had gotten here before I had done anything rash.
"If you'll excuse me, Professor Covington, but we have classes right after breakfast so we so very need the nutrients as we are still children so if you don't mind..." Laddie instantly steered me away without so much as waiting for Malachi to say a word.
I waited until we reached the end of the hall and out of sight before I shoved his arm off of me,"Did you have to put your arm on me?"
He scoffed,"That's a weird way of saying "thank you"."
"Thanks, I guess," I rolled my eyes, Laddie looked even more irritated. Good, I enjoyed watching him get irritated.
"You looked like you needed help," Laddie's ears started turning red, a sign of slow rising anger or embarrassment..either of them worked if I accomplished it in my book,"That guy is fucking weird."
"Look who's talking," I crossed my arms, looking him up and down,"I'm surprised Alex is still with you."
He didn't seem to have a witty retort to that. He went silent and I sighed exasperatedly,"Not you, too."
"What?"
"You and Angelica. Both of you seem to be having a moment..I'm honestly quite shocked you went quiet for more than two seconds though, good job," I smirked, he rolled his eyes.
"I'm not having a moment," he grumbled, his ears getting redder showed that it was, in fact, anger he was feeling and not embarrassment. Which made me realize..why wasn't he walking with Alex to breakfast this morning?
I stared at him for a second, watching his face turn from its usual boyish charm and confidence to quiet and timid only in the span of a few minutes. It was odd how I could notice how off he was acting but I guess that's what knowing a person ever since they were born does to you.
"What?" He gave me a weird look when he noticed me staring.
"Huh?"
"You're staring."
"Isn't that what you like? All eyes on you?"
"While I do enjoy everyone's love and affection all the time since I am quite the guy...I find it very odd that you, Hera Sincaid, the bane of my existence, are staring at me." He had a point and I hated it.
"Maybe you had something on your face."
"Oh yeah? What would that be?"
I wondered if he expected a real answer, instead I decided to go ahead and dodge it the question,"Laddie, are you and Alex having troubles?"
He definitely wasn't expecting that. His eyes went from his usual eye contact to his feet and I knew instantly something was wrong. But I wasn't going to step on boundaries unless he was willing to tell me. I could at least give him that.
Laddie sighed sadly next to me, his shoulders slumping,"Promise you won't say anything?"
"Who do I have to tell?"
"Stella, Luke, Reggie-"
"Your name doesn't even come out of my mouth when I'm with them so.." I was being honest. I remember the days when no one knew, like Stella, about how I knew Laddie simply because I didn't feel the need to tell them. Laddie and I were two separate people that were only required to hang out once a year, it was honestly shocking we knew each other to begin with.
He contemplated for a few seconds, stopping in his tracks while he pinched the bridge of his nose,"When we first got together, it was so...fun."
I remember last summer during the Big Three Dinner when Laddie revealed him and Alex were dating, his mom and dad were so proud of their son, my parents and the Malfoys were in disarray.
It was a crime that they were more scandalized over Laddie not being straight than the fact that Draco had said slurs to all the Muggle born students. It was infuriating and even made me mad because I sympathized with Laddie in that sense, I sometimes wondered if he had caught on to my sideways glances to Fleur during the Triwizard Tournament last year..I wished she had caught on to them or possibly done more.
Regardless, Laddie was so happy. He had the biggest smile on his face I had ever seen and it was honestly nice. It was weird that I hadn't seen him smile like that since we were kids. I guess we also sympathized with each other in that sense too.
"Now..I feel like we aren't as close as we used to be.." his voice went flat, almost monotone as he was saddened by the news. It almost surprised me but, at the same time, love was complicated and so very weird,"But you wouldn't get that now."
"What do you mean?" I blinked.
"Shut the fuck up, I know all about you and Luke," Laddie sounded annoyed,"I think everyone at Hogwarts knows about you two at this point. Not as if you didn't snog at the Halloween party and in the middle of Diagon Alley and in the Prefect-"
"We didn't snog in all those places," I shoved him, he let out a slight laugh,"We've barely even done that."
"Still, Luke's completely smitten," he seemed to get back to his preppy self as he put his hands in his pockets and walked like he owned the place,"He was telling everyone he bumped into about you and his's first date being today."
I almost groaned but felt a smile form on my lips anyway, Luke was too adorable for his own good.
"Guess I picked a good one."
"Yeah," Laddie's voice drifted off,"I guess you did."
an·tic·i·pate
/anˈtisəˌpāt/
"regard as probable; expect or predict"
•
November 4, 1995
Saturday
•
s.g.
"You're probably wondering why we've gathered you all here today."
A ton of blank faces stared up at me and Luke.
Earlier today, I had approached Luke about helping me plan a surprise party for Hera's eighteen birthday.
He agreed immediately.
"It's my duty as her boyfriend," He had said. I think he really likes saying that word.
"And my job as best friend," I nodded. "Can you get the band to meet at the Prefect common room at one? We also need a distraction for Hera."
"My good looks are a good distraction," Luke said lazily, and I facepalmed.
"If I haven't found one by twelve-thirty, you can be her distraction."
Luke and I had discussed a bit more before parting ways, and that's when I came face to face with Fred and George.
Needless to say, they were happy to help, and now they're currently distracting Hera.
The whole friend group showed up, and we were all in the common room now, including a few other Prefects and their friends. They swore to Alex they wouldn't tell. I'm praying they'll keep their word.
Alex rolled his eyes. "We know why we're here, Luke."
"Good, good," Luke responds. "I don't need to explain that, then."
"Because you're trying to win the best boyfriend award," Angelica commented, who was sitting cuddled up to Flynn on the couch.
"It's actually to make Hera-" My eyes dart around the room. "Laddie," I began when my eyes landed on him, fleeing badly for what I was about to say. "Luke and I don't dislike you, but Hera does, so can you uh.."
"Can you leave?" Luke asked for me.
"Well, I wasn't going to say it like that..." I mumble.
Laddie scanned in the room, waiting for someone to defend him. When no one did (not even Alex), he stood up. "Well that's a first where everyone isn't worshipping my presence," He retorts before making his way out of the common room.
I was able to hold back my eye roll from how bad I felt. 'I'm sorry,' I mouth at him, but he didn't see.
Luke clapped his hands together. "So, does anyone have any suggestions on where the party should be? We need to hide it from Umbridge."
"Why don't we ask her for permission?" Flynn asked confused and Angelica gave her a look.
"Babe, I know Umbridge is fond of you, but she doesn't like most of us here."
"That's why we have to hide it," I add.
"We could have it in here," Alex suggested but Luke and a few others shook their heads.
Reggie began to talk. "As much fun as the Halloween party was, it was really crammed in here."
"That's because people who weren't supposed to show up showed up," Melody said with a bitter bite.
What's her problem with Carrie? Isn't she a backup dancer for Dirty Candi? I decided not to ask about it.
Luke shook his head. "Umbridge could easily find us mid-party."
"What about the room of requirement? It's big enough," Julie suggests and I grin.
"That's perfect! I can talk with Harry to make sure the room is available for us on her birthday," I say and write down a note to myself on the clipboard I'm holding. I have a tendency to not remember things when I'm planning unless I write them down.
"Okay Flynn, can you be in charge of decorating? That's your forte."
Flynn smiled in agreement. "Dark teal and Rose gold scheme, right?" She stated Hera's favorite colors.
I nod. "And whatever colors you think would look good too.. Luke, I'll need you to distract Hera while we set up."
Luke grinned smugly at me. "You say that like it's going to be hard."
I avoid thinking about whatever he might do to distract Hera. I don't want those images in my head.
We spent a little more than an hour after that trying to decide what else we wanted to do for Hera's party. We even came up with a backup plan on what we'll do if Umbridge or any professor finds out we're having an authorized party. Luke and I were going to get permission from Dumbledore, but he hasn't been visiting people lately.
The plan was Angelica's idea. I was going to protest against it, but Luke seemed to be a little too excited for it. The plan was to throw a couple of Fred and George's colored bombs around the room and make an exit before the professor could see who all was there. I'm hoping it won't have to resort to this.
"Wait!" Angelica yells to get all of our attention before we leave.
I turn to her as well as the rest of the group.
"We're drawing for Secret Santa!" Angelica pulls out a hat.. Has she had that the whole time? "I'll get Hera and Laddie to draw later," She added.
We all had decided on doing a Secret Santa for the holidays a few weeks ago. I forgot about it until now.
One by one, we all pick a name from her hat. I pick out mine and turn away from everyone to open it.
I got Flynn. I frown a little at the thought of not being able to afford her a gift, but I stay silent.
The group goes their separate ways outside of the common room, and that's when I spot Julie laying against the wall, looking even more exhausted than the last time I saw her.
"Jules?" I ask softly when I approach her.
Before I could ask her if she was alright, she asked me her own question. "Do you want to hang out?"
I was a little surprised at first, but not unhappy. I give her a warm smile before I gave my answer.
"Sure. I have something planned for tonight, but we can until then."
I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous to go to Carrie's performance. Hopefully hanging out with Julie will calm my nerves.
Julie gave me a small smile in return, and that smile that I hadn't seen in weeks made everything worth it.
•
I've never struggled with picking out outfits until this very moment.
Thankfully, my dormmate Paige was here and helping me. She's always dressed up when we aren't required to wear our school robes, and I was lucky that she was here to help me.
"Where are you going, anyway?" She asked while pulling out one of my blouses. Paige looked at it, grimaced, and then held it down with a dropped jaw. "You're not... sneaking out are you?"
I laugh at her reaction. "If sneaking out of the common room counts, then sure."
Paige took one last look at the blouse before throwing it back in my trunk. "What are you sneaking out for? Do you have a date?"
I stop digging for clothes. Was this a date? Or did Carrie only invite me as friends? I wasn't sure, and I was too scared to ask. Though, a part of me was hoping it's a date.
"Not a date," I shake my head. "I'm meeting someone."
"So.. A date?" Paige continued. "Do I know him?"
Him, not a him, but Paige does know Carrie. Could I trust her with this?
"Not a date," I say again. I wish she would stop pressing, but that's Paige Mullins for you. "I'm meeting up with Carrie." I dig through the trunk to avoid her gaze. I had no clue if she guessed what I was saying.
"I thought you two weren't friends anymore?"
I pulled a shirt out of my trunk and looked at it. It was the striped shirt I wore the day Cedric was killed. I tossed it back in the trunk without a second glance.
"We're... Reconnecting," I partially lie. "The way our friendship ended was dumb anyway," I added. It wasn't dumb, but Paige didn't need to know that.
"I'm glad you two are. She was nice," Paige commented before gasping at the outfit she just pulled out. "You need to wear this!"
I look at it. It's a yellow turtleneck with green shorts. It might match some boots I have if I wear them with tights..
I take the clothes from Paige and find the tights I was thinking about before starting to change.
"I wanna do your hair," Paige stated and walked over to her own trunk as I finished changing by putting on the turtleneck.
"No, you don't have to-"
"Nonsense! Come here!" Paige gestured for me to come and sit in front of her.
I oblige and do as told. She probably spent around twenty minutes doing my hair until she rushed me toward the mirror.
"And, what do you think?" She asked excitedly and put her hands on my shoulders while I examined myself in the mirror.
I looked.. Good. She had strengthened my hair and put it up into a half ponytail. I grin at Paige through the mirror.
"It looks wonderful, thank you."
Paige was about to respond when our other dormmate Antoinette De Loughrey walked in. Antoinette stopped in her tracks when she saw me and Paige. "Oooh, what are we dressed up for?"
"There's a concert type of thing in the Great Hall that I'm going to," I say honestly.
"The one that Dirty Candi is performing at? I'm going to that too," Antoinette tells as she fixes her lipgloss in front of the mirror.
Paige began to start packing up her hair supplies. "That's good then! I'm glad I helped you, Stella. Maybe you'll meet someone interesting."
All I did was grin. I'm meeting someone interesting already, just not in the way she's thinking..
I turn my attention back to Antoinette. "Do you want to walk together?"
Antoinette frowned. "I'm meeting up with Jasper beforehand."
Ah. Jasper, the Slytherin Antoinette is seeing. That's probably how she knows about the concert.
"That's fine," I breathe.
"I hope you two have fun!" Paige began. "Have either of you seen Zelena though?"
Zelena Alessandreux is our fourth and final dormmate.
Antoinette shrugged. "Probably hanging out with her friends from the other houses. She'll turn up."
I glance up at the clock to check the time. Dirty Candi's performance starts in thirty minutes.
"I'm gonna head down," I tell the other two girls without looking away from the clock.
I wave goodbye at Paige as Antoinette says she'll see me there.
I exited both the dorm and the common room, but Reggie had ended up joining me on my walk to the Great Hall.
"Where are you heading?" He asked.
"Great Hall, you?"
Reggie raised an eyebrow. "For Dirty Candi's concert?"
I looked up at him. "Yeah.. How'd you know about that?"
"Melody is a member. She invited me but Bobby insisted on us having practice tonight."
Of course, Bobby did. He's always tried to make himself Carrie's rival.
"Any chance I can get a sneak peek on any new songs?" I say with a grin.
Reggie grinned too but shook his head. "Luke might kill me if I do that."
I fake a disappointed look. "Aw. Well, let me know when the next time you guys are performing is... And please don't do it unexpectedly again. I don't want you all to get in trouble by Umbridge.. again."
"Not gonna lie, I don't think we'll be able to make any promises there, Stella."
I laugh a little as the two of us stop in front of the Great Hall entrance. "Well, I'll see you later then?"
Reggie shrugs. "More or less."
Reggie and I high-five each other before going our separate ways. Reggie towards whatever classroom he was going to, and me further into the Great Hall.
It wasn't as crowded as I expected it to be, but there was still a good amount of people. Mostly Slytherins, but there were a few from other houses.
I make my way towards the stage that had been set up in the middle of the hall. I wondered how they pulled that off. Did a teacher allow them to do this?
Just as I was thinking about Dirty Candi, a member of the band (who was decked out in all purple) approached me, Melody following swiftly behind her.
When she got more into my view, I recognized her as Carrie's friend Kayla.
The last time I talked to Kayla, it was right after Carrie and I's fallout, and it wasn't a very pleasant conversation. Because when I lost Carrie, I lost Kayla too. I lost all of our mutual friends.
Except for Hera. Hera always stayed, and I'm so grateful for her.
"Stella!" Kayla looked rather happy to see me. Is she over what happened? I mean, I am. We're older, we can all be civil.
"Kayla!" I smile genuinely at her. "You look amazing! How are you?"
"I'm great," She says cheerfully. "Carrie told me she invited you, but she wasn't sure you would come."
I said I would come, and I like to keep my word on things.. But there's definitely a part of me that regrets it. If Carrie wants forgiveness, I'm willing to give it to her, but there will always be something there that doesn't let me go fully in.
Especially with my resurfaced feelings for her.
"I wish I didn't come," Melody retorted.
Huh, I wonder what's going on with her and Dirty Candi, but it's not my place to ask if she doesn't want to tell. She seemed pretty bitter about them earlier today, too.
Kayla turns to her, "You say that every time, Melody."
"And I mean it every time, Kayla."
The two of them continued to bicker until I broke the argument.
"Um, where's Carrie?"
"Backstage!" They shouted, both being too worked up from their argument.
"... Okay," I mumble and push past the crowd of people to get backstage.
It was surprisingly easy, there wasn't security or anything like there usually is at concerts.. But this is a school, so I would hope not.
I spotted Carrie immediately. She was running through some choreography with the other Dirty Candi members. Like Kayla and Melody, they were all decked out in certain colors. Carrie's color is pink, it's always pink. Her favorite color has been pink for as long as I've known her.
I just stand there and watch them, popping my fingers and knuckles out of nerves.
Carrie spotted me eventually. When she did, she snapped her fingers up in the air, causing the whole choreography to run to stop. "Take five, girls. We go on stage in ten." She turned around and looked at the group, and groaned at something. "Where are Kayla and Melody?"
I watched as lost expressions appear on the girls' faces. I took that as my cue to speak. "They're in the crowd!" I stated, loud enough for Carrie to hear me.
Carrie turns where my voice came from and smiles when she sees me.
I smile back and her smile flatters. I could tell she's putting on a cold demeanor for Dirty Candi.
"Go find them," She waves off at the group and they scatter to find the two runways.
Once the group left, Carrie's smile returned and she walked up to me. "I'm glad you could make it." She reached over to hug me, but she stopped herself.
I wouldn't have minded if she hugged me.
"I only came for the free food," I grinned and she chuckled.
"The free food was a ploy to get you to come here."
"I see. That was very smart on your part, Wilson."
"I know you better than you think," She winks and I blushed.
I look down at my fingers, hoping to hide the blush from Carrie. Thank god it's dark back here.
"So uh, what song are you doing?"
"Wow," Carrie stated. "It's that song I had started working on before... Everything."
I was hoping we could avoid the 'everything' conversation, but that's what I get for willingly talking to Carrie.
I avoided what she said and just continued with the conversation normally. "The one about how you're the best."
"No doubt," She flips her hair back and I laugh.
"Though I did change the lyrics because-"
I'm either going to have to wait to see why she did, or I'll never know because some Dirty Candi member approached her. "Carrie!"
Carrie rolled her eyes. "What?"
"You said to take five. It's been five."
Her eyes widened. "Has it?" She checked her watch, and from the expression that appeared on her face, I can tell it had been.
"Sorry, Stella. We're gonna have to continue with this conversation after."
"Break a leg!" I yelled after Carrie once she started to descend toward the stage. She turned back toward me, causing her to walk backward.
"I always do!" She winked and headed onto the stage.
I tried my hardest to get back into the crowd, but I was unsuccessful, so I ended up staying backstage.
I watched as Carrie started performing her song. The lights changed frequently on the stage, and when she danced, they danced too.
She was the star of the show, she always is. Her pink wig was moving effortlessly, and I was convinced she enchanted it to stay on her head.
Her voice was angelic. I forgot just how good of a singer she is.
'Made moves
On the rise now
Run stuff, get a piece of that pie now
We're the best, no doubt
Check it out, yeah, we make 'em say, "Wow"'
I don't even need to look at the crowd to see if she's taking their breath away because that's exactly what Carrie is doing to me.
'We make 'em say, "Wow"'
She's right because I'm saying 'wow' at her right now.
Dirty Candi runs through a few more songs, and Carrie performs them all just as flawlessly as the last. I was mesmerized at how she could get lost in the music, become a new person.
'I never open 'cause it's my show, my show
Don't know if people think I'm shallow, shallow
But all I see is all eyes on me'
Yeah.. You're right about that one.
Dirty Candi's crescendo came to a close, and most of them just exited off the stage to venture into the crowd, but Carrie came back here towards me.
"You didn't have to come back here, I could wait." I could, in fact, not wait.
"I want to talk to you more than I want to talk to most of the people in that crowd," Carrie said honestly.
I finally blushed. I couldn't hold this one back.
The two of us stood in easy silence, the hot breeze from backstage making me sweat a little. I ended up rolling up my sleeves as Carrie watched me.
"Why did you um, change the lyrics?" I eventually asked.
Carrie hesitated for a minute, biting down on her lip before releasing it. "Because of our fight."
"Why would you change them because of our fight?" I raise an eyebrow, confused. The original lyrics didn't have anything to do with me.. Or so I thought they didn't.
Carrie seemed to be hesitating again. Why was she suddenly scared to tell me why? She didn't seem so earlier. She looked as if she was about to break out in cold sweat.
"Because some of the original lyrics were about you, and I didn't want people to figure that out.. I was scared."
I stare at her, dumbfounded. The lyrics were about me? That shouldn't make my heart flutter, because she ended up turning into something about herself.. But if she was scared, that might be why.
"Why were you scared?" The statement sounded harsher than I meant it, but I lost her, and now I'm hearing it's because she was scared? "You didn't confess to your crush who was a girl, Carrie," I mumbled the last part.
I thought Carrie was about to pick a fight, but she remained calm, seeming delicate as a feather. "Because, Stella, I was scared. I liked- like you back. That's the problem."
My heart started pounding against my chest. She likes me, too?
I can't even be mad at her for leaving if I know that now.. Internalized homophobia is a bitch, but I would've appreciated it if she told me instead.
I stare at her with my mouth agape, processing the thousands of thoughts running through my head. Carrie Wilson, the biggest bitch in the school, likes me, and I like her back.
"Kiss me, then," I whisper. I didn't even know if she heard me until her lips were on mine.
I kissed back immediately, placing my hands on her neck. Her lips were soft and tasted like strawberries. She placed her hands on my waist, and I pull her closer using her shoulders for support.
It was the kiss I had been waiting years for. The kiss I had been anticipating since I was thirteen. It felt as if we were on that stage instead of backstage, and the lights were all shimmering down on us. As if there was some music playing in the background of this moment.
Carrie was the one who pulled back first. "I'm sorry for leaving," She whispered against my lips, and I could feel myself turning a shade of red that overtook the blush I was already wearing.
"I forgive you," I reply, hoping I don't regret it before kissing her again.