It all started with a mistake. Most accidents usually are events that can be brushed off and forgotten about, but this unfortunately was not one of them. This was one of those events that set your life in a whole new direction. It happens so quickly you feel confused and disoriented. While in the grand scheme it only lasted moments, but it replays over and over almost in slow motion lasting an eternity.
Elsa was stuck in that moment. Being locked away in her room didn't help at all. It made it worse really. She was surrounded by the same four walls in an overly tidy room. It looked like no one lived there. If someone opened the door they would think it was a guest room ready for anyone to use if needed, not a room that someone was actively using. Secretly, Elsa didn't even consider it as her room. To her it really was a guest room. A temporary place. Well it was supposed to be anyways. Her residency there was becoming more and more permanent. The control over her powers was tentative at best.
Though for the past week she had been feeling a little more confident as the days passed with no magic accidents. The streak was broken today while she was going over the documents over Arendelle's trade deals trying to remember which countries traded what with Arendelle when it happened. She really thought she had better control over her powers, and that the thicker gloves lined that were leather instead of the wool gloves she had been wearing recently. Then she sneezed and ice leaped forth covering and encrusting that half of the room. This is what now had her curled up in a corner of her room. She was curled up so tight trying to make it all just stop. Just for a moment. That is all she wanted. Just for it all to stop. Elsa thought that it was a joke that she really believed that she had any sort of control over her powers. All it took was a simple sneezed and ice sprung and spread across her room uncontrollably. Tomorrow is her birthday, and after a week of no accidents with her powers she thought she could ask for just a few minutes to talk to and maybe even see Anna as her gift. Now here was the Crowned
Princess all curled up so small rocking slightly trying to get the memories of that horrible night to stop replaying in her mind.
Knock knock knock knock knock*
"Hey Elsa! Do you wanna build a snowman? It's so pretty outside and the snow is just asking to be played in! Come on out with me. You are the best snowman maker! I remember the ones that you used to build for me all the time with me before well ya know… Please? With all the chocolate on top?"
Elsa cried even harder knowing she wasn't allowed to answer her baby sister. Poor Anna. She had no knowledge of any of this anymore. She didn't know what danger laid behind the door she kept knocking on. That the monster that hurt her lurked behind the door. Elsa's heart broke even more knowing that she just lost the one chance to see her sister this year all because of… because of this curse. A wail slipped past Elsa's lips that pierced through Anna's heart on the other side of the door. Anna stood pressed up against the door almost as if she believed that if she pressed herself hard enough against the door she could somehow melt herself to the other side of the door that was blocking her from getting to her sister.
"Elsa! It's okay! You are okay! You hear me? I am right out here for you. You do not have to let me in okay? Just… Just listen to me okay? Are you against the door like I am? It is okay if you can't move closer right now. I just need you to focus on my voice. I know that noise Elsa… I know… Where ever your mind is right now it is NOT real. This is real. Me talking to you. My love for you. Needing you to know you are okay, safe, and so very loved. If I could be in there with you I would hug you so close so you'd know without having to think or second guess that I am right here with you."
Elsa slowly stopped shaking and rocking in her corner. She gradually uncurled herself and slowly scrambled across the room to the door. She kept trembling as she pressed her ear to the door just to hear Anna's voice all the more. Slowly her hand came up and rested against the door. It was as close to touching Anna as she could get. If she closed her eyes she could pretend she was leaning against Anna and not the cold, thick door between them.
Anna knew when Elsa was finally up against the other side of the door. For one the cry seemed to have quieted down if not ceased , but she knew better. Elsa was defiantly still crying, but she was no longer making any noise except for her quick fast gasps for air. Anna also heard the small thump of when Elsa collapsed against the door. Anna felt tears sliding down her face as she felt her legs fold beneath her as she knelt beside the door. She was helping. Elsa could hear her in there. Anna obviously still meant something to her if she was responding to her. Elsa still cared for her, but that doesn't matter right now. Right now Elsa needed her.
"I need you now to slow your breathing, okay? Just take in one big breath and hold it for a few seconds. I'll count and everything for you. No thinking just listening to me, got it? Okay now breath in."
Anna placed her ear against the door to see if she could hear if Elsa was following her instructions. It sounded like she was.
"Good now hold that while I count. 1… 2… 3… 4… and 5. Okay now breath out slowly while I count down. 5… 4… 3… 2… 1. "
Anna was then quiet trying to hear and see if they needed to do it again or if Elsa's breathing was calm enough. Thankfully Anna was quiet or else she would had missed the fait whisper like words that barely floated through the door to her ears.
"Thank you…"
Tears poured down Anna's face. It was her sister's voice. It had been so long since she last heard it. Though the voice sounded so broken. Almost defeated. It tore Anna apart and overshadowed any sort of excitement that occurred from the fact that Elsa talked to her. How could she be over joyed when her most favorite person in the whole world sounded like that. What happened to her sister? This wasn't okay, Elsa was obviously not handling any of this as well as people thought. Things needed to change, but Anna was not sure how to fix this. Whenever she brought up the subject of Elsa around her parents they immediately shut her down. Always telling her it is all for the best and that Elsa wants to be left alone. Anna now knew better. Elsa was not okay and obviously didn't want this. If anything Anna knew Elsa needed her. She didn't want to think about how long Elsa was possibly spiraling all alone in there, or how many times before she has done that all alone. When they were little Anna was always able to stop her sister from slipping too far, but now with them separated Anna now had proof that Elsa just couldn't stop it when these moments hit her allowing the spiral to get worse and worse with poor Elsa unable to pull herself out of it. It was not okay. Anna would not believe it if anyone told her no one knew that any of this was going on with Elsa. They all must have noticed something by now. It has been eight years since the girls were torn apart. Eight long years. Eight lonely years. Eight harmful years for Elsa it seemed. Anna felt sick thinking about it.
"Don't thank me for anything. This is a given Elsa… I only wish I could do more. I feel helpless out here. I wish I could fix all of this to see actually see you. Get you to laugh and smile. To just be in the same room as you. It has been too long. I..I'm afraid to admit something to you Elsa…"
Anna got too chocked up as tears washed her face. She didn't know what she was thinking that she almost admitted out loud to Elsa her darkest secret. One that she knew would hurt Elsa. Something she didn't need right now. Now was not the time to be selfish. She just needed to be here for her sister.
Elsa's tears had slowed down and had almost come to a stop as she sat and savored the sound of her sister's voice on the other side of the door. Then she felt her heart stop. Oh Anna… She heard her sister get all chocked up and her voice cut off and Elsa just knew that want had to be bothering Anna. It was what Anna has been trying to accomplish these past few years since she had to lock herself behind this door.
"Anna… I'm… I'm trying to fix it. I've been trying since…" Elsa chocked up and had to take a deep breath to pull herself together, "Can you just wait a little bit longer for me to figure it out? Please… I've been trying and doing all of this for you. I just need a little more time, okay?"
Anna's eyes scrunched closed as she tried to memorize the sound of her sister's soft melodic voice drifting through the door. She was so confused though. What did any of this have to do with her? Was she the reason why her sister was locked away in this room? What did she do for this to happen?
"Is this all somehow my fault? Did I get you locked away? Oh God you must hate me. Elsa I am so sorry! Maybe they can lock me in my room instead so that maybe you can come out instead. I'd do that for you.."
"NO!" Elsa felt panic claw up her throat hearing Anna say that, "It was never anything you did. It was never you. Do you hear me? You are innocent in all of this. I brought this all on myself. I… I… I didn't mean to… It was an… I'm not a good per… I'm a monster Anna."
Tears poured down Elsa's face as she tried to explain to Anna that none of this was any of her fault. That how things were needed to that way just until Elsa figured out how to control this curse.
"YOU ARE NOT A MONSTER! Who ever told you this… They are LIERS and I will give them a piece of my mind if I ever find out who they are. My sister is anything but a monster. You are kind, loving, caring, and warm."
Elsa let a small chuckle escape her lips when she heard Anna call her warm. Oh Anna I am anything but warm. Anna heard her sister's small laugh and it brought a smile to her face. She didn't realize how much she missed that sound. When they were younger Anna would go out of her way to make Elsa laugh just to hear it. Back then Anna thought it sounded like the clearest of bells ringing like during the holiday season. Her laugh to Anna sounded like all the little bells that decorate the kingdom in December. Small, light, crisp and clear sounding. It's a sound that floats through the air that always manages to make people smile. Elsa was always so quiet and poised. She always tried to keep her laugh contained and hidden behind her hand like a proper lady, but Anna had always made it her mission to get her sister to really laugh. Her laugh was always better that way, free and unrestrained. Then instead of the light restrained tiny bell sounding laugh it was a deeper richer bell sound. Anna wondered if Elsa's laugh still sounded like that. The small laugh sounded like a deeper version of the light restrained bell laugh Anna remembered, so she figured Elsa's full blown laugh was the same as before just deeper. It made sense to Anna, but she decided she was going to get Elsa to really laugh to hear it anyway. It worked along with her other new goal: Make Elsa feel better and happy.
"Anna I… I thank you for thinking the best of me, but I'm really not all that… I'm really…" Anna heard Elsa take a deep wavering breath, "I'm not usually described as warm… actually I don't think anyone has ever said that. I'm usually associated with cold you know. It's kinda funny that you of all people think of me as warm."
"Elsa you are warm! Hey stop giggling at me!"
"I'm sorry Anna, but I can't help but find it funny! Me… warm!"
"Oh shush you!" Anna grinned hearing her joke and give that light laugh, even if it was the restrained one the sound warmed Anna's heart.
"You are warm. Trust me on that. Everything about is warm like the sun in winter. A nice warmth that wraps you in a warm hug. A steady comfort that I know if I run your way you'll make it all better. You always make it better. I hope I do that for you too."
Elsa felt fat tears roll down her face hearing Anna say that. Even after all this time Anna thought that about her. Her sweet baby sister, God she didn't deserve her.
"Oh Anna you have no idea how important you are to me. If I am the light warmth then you my dear are the whole sun. You are the greatest thing and please understand that everything I do is for you. Some day I hope it all makes sense, but until then I will do everything I can to deserve to be anywhere near your light. I hate to say this, but you should go before anyone finds you out there. I. Don't want you to get into any trouble for being you, for helping me. I love you."
"Okay, but I'll come back again soon when the coast is clear. I am not going to leave you alone for long ever again. We'll figure something out you and me. I'll be a better right hand from now on. I got ya Elsa, we'll be okay. I love you too."
Elsa heard Anna get up and leave, and it took everything inside of herself not to call out to Anna to come back or to freeze open the lock and run after her. Anna was the only and brightest star in the dark night Elsa found herself trapped in, and she would never be able to get over how Anna still cared and was willing to brighten her world without hesitation. Elsa would beat this curse. She had to. If Anna could still care for Elsa after all of this then she would get control over this curse. She could do this, for Anna. She will do this. Elsa turned to get up from her spot against the door and startled when she saw her room or what was missing from it. All of the ice that covered a majority of her room was gone. There was no evidence of there being any ice at all anywhere in her room. It was like it was never there. Not a shard of ice or drop of water anywhere. Elsa didn't understand it all all. All she knew was that this had never happened before. The last time her ice disappeared without a trace was when she could control it when she was little and played with Anna. Then it hit her. Anna. Anna fixed her. Elsa knew she could do this especially with Anna's help. Maybe she should tell her the whole truth. She hated to lie to Anna at all. Maybe it was time to listen to her gut and let Anna in even though their parents were advocating the exact opposite. As she looked around her ice free room an old voice rang in her head, "We know better Elsie!" And Elsa couldn't help but to agree with it with the evidence that was her ice free room. Now all she had to figure out was how she was going to do it.