AN: A very late Merry Christmas to you, my lovely readers. This chapter is fuzzy and warm and just a little bit indecent - the perfect kind of Christmas gift. I figured we all deserve a little heartwarming tranquility as we head into the New Year :) Lives up to the M rating, very NSFW. Enjoy!

It's been a while since Jane felt so at peace.

They're three days into their vacation - three days of laughter and love and a wildly inappropriate amount of sex has filled Jane up with joy, banishing any dark thoughts that had been looming, threatening to pull her back down to rock bottom.

She could get used to this.

She's standing on the porch of their rented cabin, a freshly brewed coffee cupped in her hands as she observes the world around them, muffled by a thick layer of snow. The quiet had been something she'd found hard to adjust to at first, especially after mentally fighting for months to occupy her mind with anything but silence, but she's found herself growing to love the stillness.

Yes, Jane could really get used to this.

The cold bites at her cheeks and the tip of her nose and she finishes her coffee, setting it down on the porch and replacing it with the large splitting axe she'd retrieved from the woodpile, turning it over in her hands a couple of times and judging the weight. She nods to herself, giving it a small swing before she steps in the ankle-deep snow, traipsing a sluggish path towards the edge of the forest a couple of hundred yards away.

Last night, whilst they were sitting at the oak kitchen table and talking about their favorite holiday memories, Maura had revealed she'd never really experienced a memorable Christmas, and Jane hadn't been able to stop thinking about it since. She'd purposefully set her alarm to this early hour, stumbling out of bed with a determination to give Maura the Christmas she deserves.

Jane skirts the edge of the forest, peering through the snow until she spies the perfect evergreen - almost as tall as she is. She runs a gloved hand along the branches, the fresh pine scent bringing back pleasant memories of tree hunting as a kid - her and Frankie and Tommy arguing over the best tree, play fighting in the snow as their dad had chopped, then returning home covered in mud and branches but victorious all the same.

She measures up against the tree, squinting through the leaves as she gauges her aim. She lifts the axe over one shoulder and swings, the splitting sound shaking the white powder from the trees around her and sending birds flying to escape the foreign noise. She swings again and again, putting her entire weight behind the axe for the final arc, exclaiming in triumph as it connects with the trunk and the tree shifts, titling through the air and hitting the snow with a thwack.

Taking the rope she'd looped onto her belt, she secures it around the tree before she begins the trek back to the cabin, dragging the tree behind her. By the time she reaches the front door she's exhausted - muscles aching and chilled to the bone, but she knows it's worth it.

Maura always is.

She opens the door to no signs of life and she kicks off her boots, unwinding the scarf that Maura had bought for her and using her teeth to remove her gloves impatiently. She blows on her hands in an attempt to warm them, shrugging off the thick, woollen jacket she'd been wearing as she sneaks towards the sleeping figure silhouetted against the warm, orange rays of dawn that have begun to creep in. Jane lingers to appreciate the sight of Maura, cuddled up underneath the comforter, blonde hair spilling over her pillow like a golden river. Maura lets out a little sigh - quite possibly the cutest fucking thing Jane has ever witnessed - and turns onto her back in her sleep, one arm coming to drape over her eyes to block out the morning light.

If love is a drug, Jane feels like she's about to overdose in the best possible way.

She climbs onto the bottom of the bed, shuffling her way up over the covers, body pressing against Maura who stirs, arms unconsciously reaching out to lace around Jane's shoulders, pulling her into a deliciously warm hug. She mumbles something sleepily and Jane tugs the comforter away from Maura's face, ducking her head to pepper Maura's cheeks and forehead with kisses before capturing her lips in an undemanding, tender kiss, the kind that sends tiny shockwaves through Jane's body.

"Mmm. Hello." Maura murmurs tiredly, pressing her face to the side of Jane's neck and inhaling deeply. "You smell good."

"I do?"

"Mm. Coffee. Earth. You went out?" Her eyes open and she gazes up at Jane, leaning up to brush the tip of her nose against Jane's still frozen one, whispering a complaint at the cold.

"If you think that's cold...wait until you feel these babies." Jane sits on Maura's thighs, folding the comforter away before bellowing an evil laugh as she wiggles her numbed fingers theatrically. Maura attempts to escape, the sweater she'd been sleeping in riding up and allowing Jane to take advantage of her exposed skin, hands coming to lightly tickle against Maura's abdomen.

"Oh, my-" Maura gasps, yelping a laugh as she writhes, reaching out to grab Jane's wrists and yank her ice-cold hands away sharply, holding them as far away from her as she can. She twists at the waist, tipping Jane to one side and switching their positions, pinning Jane's arms to the bed above her head.

"Oh my," Jane repeats and Maura huffs loudly, glaring at Jane.

"You're freezing. How long have you been out?"

"Long enough. I got you something."

"I seem to recall you finding yourself in the same compromising position you're in now the last time you had something for me."

"I don't seem to recall you complaining." She grins and Maura concedes, allowing Jane to break free, her now slightly warmer fingertips stroking up the outside of Maura's thighs and coming to rest on her hips.

"Get dressed, and I'll show you. Are you hungry? I can cook."

"So domesticated. Mountain air agrees with you."

"Maybe it's the love of a good woman bringing out the Donna Reed in me."

"I think you're perhaps more a Davy Crockett."

"Well damn, hand me a rifle and a little fringed fashion and let me be the king of your wild frontier."

Maura descends into a fit of laughter, beautiful music to Jane's ears as they untangle themselves, rising from the bed. Maura excuses herself to get ready for the day whilst Jane sets the kettle to boil, then breezes around the small kitchen as she prepares breakfast for them. She's flipping the last waffle when Maura reappears and they sit and eat - Maura focusing on a book she'd brought and Jane drifting into a daydream, basking in the company of each other.

Maybe they should pack up life as they know it and move to the mountains, far away from the bustle of monotonous life.

She watches Maura dreamily now, a goofy smile spreading across her face as she does. Maura is the fire in Jane's bones, Jane's heart and home. She'd sacrifice everything if she had to, to make Maura happy. She is Jane's endgame, everything Jane could have ever hoped and wished for and Jane can't even begin to comprehend a life without her in it.

It's about time Jane started showing her. One step at a time, starting with opening up to those closest to them. It's a silent promise Jane makes - as soon as they're back from vacation, she's gonna do it, no matter how discouraged she feels. Maura deserves more than to be hidden away.

"It's snowing again." Maura interrupts her thoughts and Jane twists, glancing out at the window before she rises to her feet.

"So it is. Better get this surprise in then."

"In?" Maura questions tentatively and Jane nods, taking Maura by the hand and leading her to the door.

"Close your eyes."

"Jane. I don't lik-"

"You don't like surprises, I know. But it's a good one."

Maura grumbles doubtfully but stands in the doorway regardless, eyes closed tightly as Jane steps out, taking hold of the ropes tied to the tree and pulling until it's upright, swaying in Jane's grasp.

"Okay. Open 'em!"

Maura does, eyes flicking between Jane and the evergreen she props up unsteadily.

"It's…a tree?"

"Not just any tree."

"An evergreen? The branch structure suggests a baby blue spruce. Or maybe a juniper. I can't quite tell."

"It's a Christmas tree, poindexter. Our Christmas tree."

"Ours?"

"I chopped it down myself," Jane nods to the axe resting against the porch. "Figured our first real Christmas together needs a tree fit for the occasion, right? I know you don't have any Christmas traditions, so maybe we could start making our own?"

Maura is out of the door, crossing the porch in two slippery strides before she launches herself at Jane, arms enveloping her. Jane balances Maura in one arm and the tree in another until Maura unburies her face from the crook of Jane's neck, gazing up at her.

"Thank you. I love it. I love you." Maura toys with a branch thoughtfully then kisses Jane's cool cheek as she unwinds herself, taking a couple of steps back towards the warmth of the cabin, signalling for Jane to follow.

"You cut it down yourself?"

"Hell yes, I did. You shoulda seen me. It was over there. I found it right away and I thought, this is the one." Jane points into the distance behind them, chattering excitedly as she begins to haul the tree to the cabin with Maura's help.

"I'm not as apt with a blade as you are but I think I did a pretty good job."

They work between them to position the tree in a bucket they find under the sink, Jane dragging it to various spots around the cabin until she finds the perfect one, next to the large brick fireplace. She's dusting the stray needles off her hands when she turns to look at Maura, faltering at Maura's sullen expression.

"What is it Maur? Is this too much?" She reels, trying desperately to figure out how she's managed to mess this up - had Maura not wanted to celebrate for a reason? Had the Christmases of the past been that bad for her? Jane's poised to haul the stupid fucking tree back out with her bare hands when she realises Maura is crying, a solitary tear trailing down her cheek at first and then her face crumples and Jane drops everything, folding Maura into a confused hug.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I should be the one apologizing. I should have listened to you when you said you don't enjoy Christmas."

"It's not that. This is…wonderful. You-" Maura's voice breaks and Jane squeezes her tightly, too anxious to face her.

"You are wonderful."

"You're not bad yourself, kid." Jane relaxes, dropping a kiss to the top of Maura's head tenderly.

"No, I mean it. I don't think anyone has ever cared enough to do something like this for me. I want to make these memories with you. I want to celebrate. It's…magical. It's perfect."

"If you think this a magic, let's decorate it. That'll definitely blow your mind."

"Who'd have thought a little corn and a few berries could look so…pretty?"

Jane scoops some of the leftover popcorn into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. They'd spent the afternoon threading lengths of string with the popped kernels and berries picked from trees outside that Maura had deemed safe. Jane hadn't been convinced, but as they sit, curled up against each other in front of the fire admiring their handy work, she's got to admit it looks pretty damn festive.

"Its origins are widely unknown, but some think it was adopted by colonists who adapted the very European tradition of tree decorating using the materials they had an abundance of. November is cranberry season. It was an inexpensive way of marking the holiday."

"You actually do have an answer for everything, don't ya?"

"Not everything, that's impossible." Maura scoffs, taking a long drink from the wine glass she's holding. She sets it on the coffee table, twisting to lie back on the couch, head coming to rest in Jane's lap.

"I'm naturally curious. This world fascinates me. It always has."

"What made you wanna be a doctor? Not a dead people doctor, before that."

"That's a very good question."

Jane's free hand laces through Maura's hair, absentmindedly twirling locks around her fingers whilst Maura speaks.

"When I was eight years old I distinctly remember injuring myself. I'd been constructing a replica of the solar system for a class project when I'd burnt my hand on a soldering iron."

"A soldering iron? Eight?" Jane exclaims and Maura nods curtly like it's the most normal thing in the world for an eight-year-old to do.

"I'd built a circuit board to power gears that would rotate the planets, and I'd been connecting the last few wires when my hand slipped. I still have the scar. Look." She holds her left hand out to Jane, pointing to the small, circular patch of skin on the inside of her ring finger. Jane runs a fingertip across it, bringing Maura's hand to her mouth to kiss it.

"I've never noticed it, and I watch your hands a lot"

"Oh, it's barely there. It's faded over the years."

"What happened, after you'd burnt yourself?"

"I packed away my project and walked to the closest emergency room I could find in our directory."

"Hold on - you went alone?"

"Yes. It didn't seem worth inconveniencing my parents about it, not when I could just...help myself."

Jane grits her teeth, not wanting to speak in fear of her fury bubbling over. She'd known Maura had been a lonely child, but to know she'd felt like a bother to her parents at such a young age makes Jane's blood boil.

"I was examined by doctor Kenovsky - I remember her, even now. She'd asked how I'd hurt myself, and about my project and she'd listened patiently while she'd treated me, even letting me hold the gauze in place whilst she'd bandaged. I told her my parents were waiting for me in the parking lot, but I think she knew I was alone. She wrote her number on a piece of paper for me, asking me to contact her if I ever needed help again, and as I was leaving she scooped me into the most considerate hug. It was the kind of hug I'd seen other parents give their children, at the school gates, but I'd never experienced myself, until then. The care and compassion she'd shown to me, this peculiar child that showed up in her ER stunned me, and I felt...whole."

Jane's gaze drops to Maura's face and she bites the inside of her lip to stop herself from crying.

"The older I became, the more I realised there are a lot of humans like me, who deserve to know that someone cares for them - even in a professional manner. I grew to learn that as kind as some people are, they're also incredibly destructive, and wanting to preclude that in my own small way made me switch paths. I always preferred the company of those that didn't mock, or tease, and it just so happened to be those that are no longer with us. And here I am."

"And here you are. Jeez, Maura. That was inspiring."

"How about you?"

"How did I become a cop?"

"Yes."

"It's not a very interesting story."

"Tell me anyway."

"Nothing to tell - Jane see bad, Jane wanna stop bad. That's it."

Maura frowns, then slides up into Jane's lap, arms winding around Jane's shoulders.

"Plus, you look like a badass holding a gun. It's quite the turn-on."

Jane is thankful Maura doesn't push it any further and she smiles, raising an eyebrow at her closing statement.

"It is?"

"Very much so."

"I'm likin' what I'm hearing. Tell me more."

"It's just a little fantasy realised. You, being the strong, passionate protector, ready and willing to put yourself in the line of fire for others."

"I had no idea that was even a thing. You got other things? Other fantasies?"

"Possibly."

"Maura!" Jane squeaks, hushed when Maura presses a chaste kiss to her lips. "Tell me!"

"No."

"Why? Is it something really dirty?"

"No!"

"Do I need to keep my handcuffs hidden?"

"Jane!"

"C'mon, gimme a clue. Maybe I can help make it a reality." Jane licks her lips suggestively and Maura laughs shyly, eyeing Jane warily.

"Okay, but you can't laugh. There's something very romantic about the thought of making love in front of a fire, like this." She sweeps an arm out towards the fireplace and Jane has to try her hardest not to giggle. "Under the stars, just two bodies moving together to stay warm."

"That's such a you fantasy, Maura."

"What do you mean?"

"Roaring fire, getting frisky on a little faux bearskin, under the stars. A cheeseboard and a Chianti after, perhaps?"

"Oh no. No, a Chianti should never be paired...wait. You're making fun of me."

"Yes. Yes, I am."

Maura stands before Jane can stop her, grabbing a cushion from the couch as she walks away and throwing it in Jane's direction. It swats Jane in the face and she exclaims, letting it fall to the floor at her feet.

"Maur wait, come back. I'm sorry. Let's throw another log on the fire and get crazy." She can barely keep a straight face and Maura scowls at her despite the smile dancing across her lips.

"I'm going to shower, and then I'm going to sleep under my faux bearskin. Alone."

Jane makes Maura wait until Christmas Eve to make it up to her.

They'd spent the day out hiking - Maura testing her orienteering skills, confidently leading until she'd accidentally taken them on a three-mile detour through dense forest, only find their way out by stumbling across a signpost that pointed them back onto the right path. She'd teased Maura relentlessly the entire walk back until Maura had commanded her silence. She'd not said a word then until they'd arrived at the cabin, waiting until Jane had emerged from a hot shower and then speaking only to inform Jane she'd be talking a very long bath and to not wait up before promptly locking herself in the bathroom.

Jane thinks she has about an hour to romance the place up if she's calculated right.

She listens for the sound of running water before she commences her hunt for supplies, ransacking cupboards for as many candles as she can find and lighting them, dotting them around the cabin until she feels she's reached the optimum level of mood lighting. She grabs a handful of blankets from the bedroom, piling them on top of each other in front of the fireplace which she then works on lighting. There isn't enough wood and she chastises herself for not planning ahead as she jams a sweater over her head and pulls on her boots, then slowly tiptoes over to the cabin door. She feels akin to a teenager trying to sneak out as she discreetly attempts to open the door, freezing on the spot when it squeaks loudly, threatening to give her away.

Once it's clear Maura hasn't heard, she lurches out into the night, waiting until the door is almost shut again before she manically skids off the porch and sprints towards the log pile, huffing with effort at the amount of wood she piles into her arms. She's out of breath by the time she's crept back in but pushes on, adding enough logs for the fire to begin crackling comfortingly and until she's satisfied that it could be classed as roaring.

She strips off her clothes and kicks her boots across the room, very nearly tripping as she staggers towards the bedroom, changing out of the pyjamas she'd put on and dressing in she thinks is more suitable for the occasion - a pair of black hipster shorts and a red, oversized flannel shirt left unbuttoned over the top, sleeves rolled up Jane's forearms. She shakes her hair loose, allowing it to cascade down her front, providing her with a little bit of modesty before she moves to the kitchen, throwing another log into the fire as she passes.

Taking out a bottle of Maura's favorite wine she'd hidden away on their first day, she pours out two glasses and then takes a quick swig from the bottle, for luck. Cradling the glasses in her hands she carries them over to the fireplace, having just enough time to lean up against the rugged brick when she hears the bathroom door open.

Maura pays her no attention as she drifts through the room, robed back to Jane as she concentrates on the open book balanced in her palm. Her hair is gathered into a messy ponytail, face framed by a few delicate curls that have escaped. Jane clears her throat loudly but it's not enough to rouse Maura's attention and Jane can't help but chuckle aloud.

"Nice bath?"

"It was, thank you."

"You still annoyed?"

"Yes."

"Want me to make it up to you?"

"How?" She closes the book, tossing it onto the bed in front of her before she finally turns. She looks from the flames in the fireplace to the glasses in Jane's hands, breath hitching as she lays eyes on what Jane is - or isn't - wearing.

"Wine?" Jane tries to be nonchalant as Maura crosses to her, silently taking the offered glass and taking a sip.

"Château Marzy. My-"

"Your favorite. I'm hoping it makes up for the lack of cheeseboard." Jane winks and Maura blushes, savouring another sip before she drains the glass entirely.

"Easy, tiger. Aren't you the one always yankin' on me for not appreciating the mouthfeel?"

"I'd prefer to feel your mouth somewhere other than that glass right now."

"I thought you were mad?" Jane begins to drink and Maura reaches a finger up to tilt the glass, encouraging Jane to gulp the liquid in one go before she takes both of their glasses, placing them up on the fireplace.

Maura slips a hand into Jane's open shirt, biting her bottom lip between her teeth as she scratches her fingernails across Jane's midriff and up. She cups a breast in her palm, eliciting a gasp from Jane as she gently flicks her thumb across a nipple.

"I'm...temporarily distracted."

Maura presses a finger to Jane's lips as she opens her mouth to speak, shushing her. Jane raises an eyebrow in response and Maura smiles, undoing her robe and letting it slide to the floor in one smooth motion. Maura advances on her, grasping the opens side of Jane's shirt and tugging downwards until they land on the floor with a dull thump, cushioned by the pile of blankets beneath them. Hands thread through Jane's hair as Maura kisses her, tongue not waiting for an invitation before it slides into Jane's mouth, flicking against her own. The sharp taste of wine on her lips mixed with the dreamy scent of Maura's gardenia body lotion is exhilarating, and when Jane feels the vibrations of Maura's soft moans over the crackling of the fire she feels like every single sense is being assaulted.

Jane breaks their kiss first, panting softly as she kneels between Maura's open legs. She pulls away to whines of disapproval, smirking as she sheds her shirt and tosses it away. She stares down at a very naked Maura, body illuminated from the glow of the burning fire next to them. Her eyes follow the smooth curves of Maura's thighs and stomach and up, their gaze locking as Jane shuffles backwards on her knees and then drops to her elbows. She presses open-mouthed kisses to Maura's inner thighs, breath tickling the delicate skin there, having the best intentions to take her time as Maura lifts her hips upwards impatiently, murmuring a quiet curse when Jane's lips ghost over where she craves to be touched.

"Jane."

It's a whisper somewhere between a warning and pleading and Jane grins, burying her face between Maura's legs. She swipes her tongue upwards, tip circling Maura's clit at a teasingly slow pace, slow enough that the blonde begins to whimper under her. Jane relishes the sound and lifts her head, tongue pausing as she looks up, Maura's sights set firmly on her.

Jane's eyes lock onto Maura's as she brings a finger to slide into Maura, thrusting once before she adds another, Jane's cheeks flushing at how wet Maura is. Maura's eyes flutter closed as a moan rises from her throat and Jane dips her head once more, tongue pulsing in rhythm to her thrusts. When a hand shoots out to grip her hair sharply Jane knows Maura is close and she buries her fingers to the knuckle, lips closing around Maura's clit and sucking gently.

"Oh…fuck…"

Jane hums a note of approval, unconsciously thrusting her own hips as Maura begins to quiver, a hand holding Jane's head steady as she rides out her orgasm on Jane's tongue, calling out indecipherably as she floods Jane's mouth and fingers. Maura is panting hard by the time Jane withdraws, gently kissing her way up Maura's shaking body. She's pressing a kiss to Maura's neck when Maura abruptly pushes herself upright, almost knocking Jane onto her feet as she scrambles to sit back against the couch, motioning for Jane to follow.

"Come here," Maura points at her lap and Jane obliges, crawling until she's able to straddle Maura's hips. Strong arms wrap around her as Maura holds her close, their bodies flush. They stay like this for a while, foreheads pressed together until Jane feels a hand snaking between them slyly. Fingertips pluck at the waistband of her shorts and then disappear underneath it, Jane choking out a soft cry when Maura glides two fingers into her effortlessly.

"Mmm." Maura sighs faintly and Jane leans backwards, hands coming to brace against Maura's shoulders.

"Feel that? How much you turn me on?" Jane rasps, resisting the urge to immediately grind herself into oblivion at Maura's touch.

"Yes."

"I..." Jane starts breathlessly then stops, struggling to form words when she feels a third fingertip pressing against her timidly. She's unable to control the groan of arousal that falls from her lips and she nods wordlessly at Maura's hesitation, eyes widening in pleasure as she allows Maura's fingers to fill her.

"Okay?"

Jane nods again, then moans out a verbal acknowledgement, lifting her hips away and driving back down against Maura carelessly. Jane loses herself in the movement, every last scrap of insecurity melting away as she rides Maura's fingers roughly, her fingernails digging into the skin of Maura's shoulders as she keeps a frantic pace, panting with effort. She collapses forward, lips clashing against Maura's in a messy kiss and she cries out, unable to hold on when a thumb flicks across her clit and catapults her over the edge. She comes, unabashedly loud and hard, clinging to Maura as her orgasm ripples through her with such a force she feels she might split in two. Her vision swims and she squeezes her eyes shut as Maura retracts, her arms cocooning around Jane's waist to hold her steady, grounding Jane as the white noise begins to clear from her ears.

Trembling and unsteadier than she'd care to admit, Jane graciously accepts Maura's help to move to the couch, stretching out across it as Maura joins her, dragging a blanket along with her and covering them both as she curls into Jane's arms.

"That was, uh…" Jane trails off, dropping a kiss to the back of Maura's neck, "was it how you imagined?"

"Better."

Jane chuckles, nuzzling in as she holds Maura tightly to her.

"Good. I love you Maur."

"I love you, Jane. I love you so much."

"Maybe this counts as another new tradition, huh?"

"Definitely one to be repeated next year. Merry Christmas, Jane."

"Merry Christmas, baby."