AN: The second half of this chapter is a rare glimpse into Maura's side of the story. M for language throughout. As always thank you so much for the follows/reviews/messages so far - I read each and every one and I'm continually overwhelmed by the support for my little story.

Jane has barely been awake five minutes when the insistent chirps of her cell phone pull her from the warmth of the comforter she's cocooned around herself. She groans tiredly, sticking an arm out and feeling around clumsily until her hand closes around her phone. A glance at the screen tells her that not only is it six in the morning, but Frost is calling after being the one to insist that she come in late, giving her some time prepare before they pick up where they left off on their investigation before Jane and Maura had gone away.

They've only been back for three days, still wrapped in their vacation bubble, but the amount of work being thrown their way is overwhelming and exhausting and a teeny, delusional part of Jane wishes they'd been able to stay holed up in their comfortable little cabin. She answers the call wryly, voice hoarse with sleep as she mutters into the receiver.

"Better be your own body you're calling in Frost or I'll make it so."

"And good morning to you too."

"Did you hit your head this morning? Didn't you specifically say that I shoul-"

"I know, I know. Sorry. You know I wouldn't be calling unless it was an emergency."

"What is it? Not another one for the case?"

"No, it's not that. It's not a body at all."

"But it's an emergency?"

"No. But also, yeah."

"Frost."

"It's not a homicide kind of emergency, but…"

"Get to the point." Jane seethes, sitting up and throwing the comforter back in frustration. She pushes herself to her feet, pinning the phone to her ear with a shoulder as she quickly makes the bed.

"Okay. I'm at a scene with Maura. We were processing, catching up, and…"

The way that he trails off to silence after mentioning Maura feels like a punch in the gut and Jane goes cold, rooted to the spot.

"And? Is it Maura? Is she okay?"

"She's fine. Hold on."

She's well aware that in their profession there is always the possibility of losing each other in the line of fire, but as much as she steels herself to the idea she just can't cope with the thought of losing anyone - especially Maura.

"You really gotta work on your delivery Frost. Nearly gave me a damn heart attack."

"I'm sorry. Look, I can't explain. Can you just come out? We're in Sterling Square."

A thousand different scenarios whirl through her mind as she hurries into the bathroom, quickly washing her face and brushing her teeth before she dresses in yesterday's work clothes. She misbuttons her shirt twice before she rips it off in frustration, grabbing a plain tee that she jams over her head as she flails down the stairs and into the hallway, zipping on her boots and throwing on the first jacket she comes across.

She's in the car and vividly imagining all the ways she could lose Maura - thinking back on all the times she almost has as she speeds off I-93, dialling Maura's number from memory to no response and then Frost, narrowly avoiding a line of parked cars as she turns the corner to her destination. She despairs as her call disconnects, parking her car as close as she can before she exits and jogs towards the blue, flashing lights she can see at the back of the square.

"Jane!" She hears her name being called as she ducks under the first line of tape, flashing her badge towards the two officers she doesn't recognise as she passes. It's dark enough that she struggles to see clearly, squinting in the direction of the voice calling her. Her stomach churns nauseatingly as she ducks under another line of police tape, eyes snapping to a torch beam that points in her direction.

"Over here!" Following the sound of Frost's voice, Jane picks her way around the sole technician tearing down what remains of the crime scene, half-heartedly flashing her badge again. She can hear Frost more clearly now, almost running into him when he steps from behind the last cruiser to leave, waving them off as they depart.

"Jesus, Frost. What the fuck?"

"You're here. Good. They won't listen."

"They? Who is they?"

Frost presses a torch into her hands, then turns and leads Jane into the trees, stopping a few yards short from two figures that Jane can hear bickering loudly.

"Maura and Dr Moore. We were just bagging when she rolled up and I don't know what happened, they just started yelling."

"Dr Mo- April? And Maura?"

"They've been at it for forty-five minutes, J. I cleared everyone away, but they're refusing to leave. I didn't know who else to call."

"Are you fucking kiddin' me?"

"Sorry."

"No, no...don't be. Why are they fighting?"

"Something about contaminating evidence, and something about you and then they just exploded. You know, I don't think I've ever heard Maura raise her voice before."

Jane sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose tightly. She's thinking how best to approach whatever this is when Frost knocks her arm with his elbow, drawing her attention. She looks over at Maura and April just in time to see April throw her bag to the floor, then advance on Maura, one hand raised threateningly.

"Holy shit, move!" They break into a run, both of them wheezing by the time they leap between Maura and April. Frost reaches April first, dragging her to one side as Jane throws herself in front of Maura, frantically trying to assess the situation as Maura collides into her, fighting to move out of Jane's reach.

"Maura! What are you doing?" Jane's hands close around Maura's wrists, pulling her arms down by her side firmly. She's shocked when Maura struggles against her, gasping with the effort of trying to break free from Jane's hold.

"I'd like to show her exactly what I'm capable of."

"What? Hey, calm down! Maura!"

The string of expletives that follows is cut short by a loud shout from behind them and Jane twists, looking back over her shoulder at Frost sinking to his knees, hands clasped to his groin as he moans in pain. Jane is aware that April is moving towards them exceptionally fast and she lets go of Maura, turning and throwing out her arms to shield them from each other. April wipes her face as she approaches, streaking a dark trail of blood across her cheek fiercely. Jane's eyes widen and she takes a few steps backwards, forcing Maura to move back with her.

"April, stop."

"Move."

"I said stop. You're bleeding."

"I didn't do that." Maura's voice is full of anger and Jane nudges her backwards again, trying to keep a couple of feet between them.

"No, your bodyguard did. You need a man to fight your fights for you?" April wipes her face again, fingers coming to pinch her nostrils shut against the trickle of blood.

"Come over here and let me show you how I'd handle it." April doesn't let Maura finish her challenge before she shoulder-checks Jane aggressively in a futile attempt to reach Maura and Jane cries out, desperately trying to gain some control over the situation.

"Stop, both of you!"

"No, let her. Let her prove to you that she's anything but tedious, Jane." April's taunting words do their job of further infuriating Maura and she tries to break past Jane, cursing to herself as Jane blocks her once more.

"Stop it. What is wrong with you?"

Jane wheels around to face Maura, eyes flicking wildly across her enraged expression. Maura yanks off the blue surgical gloves she's wearing, lips clamped together as she makes one last-ditch attempt to finish her fight, efforts thwarted when Jane finally snaps, arms locking around Maura's waist and driving her backwards. When Maura begins to thrash against her hold, Jane simply lifts her a couple of inches off the ground and carries on walking, deaf to Maura's complaints as she focuses on the muddy ground in front of them, putting one foot in front of the other until she reaches her parked car. She retrieves the fob from her pocket as Maura finally goes limp against her, panting hard as Jane sets her down and opens the passenger door, gesturing for Maura to climb in.

She does, closing the door behind herself with a slam and Jane leans up against it, looking back to make sure April hasn't followed, wiping a hand across her brow as she lets out a sigh of relief.

What fresh hell has she walked into?

Jane takes a couple of seconds to calm herself, then opens the passenger door and squats down beside it, looking up at Maura who faces forward, trembling as she stares out of the windshield. She's breathing in short gasps, close to hyperventilating and Jane reacts instinctively, taking one of Maura's hands into her own. Maura shakes it free, then turns, eyes brimming with tears and she looks at Jane and then away towards the scene they've just left. Jane isn't sure how to proceed with what she's just witnessed and gulps nervously, reaching over Maura to retrieve a bottle of water that she unscrews, pressing it into Maura's hands.

"You gotta calm down. Take a drink. Please" Jane waits until Maura does, then takes a swig herself before she caps it and tosses it into the backseat of the car.

Once she's sure that Maura isn't going to descend into a panic attack, Jane shifts to visually check Maura over, meeting her gaze once she's sure that Maura isn't injured in any way.

"I'm fine."

"You...you're fine? You call that fine?"

"I'm unharmed."

"And what about her? Did you do that to her face?"

"Unfortunately not."

"Maura! Please. What happened? Gimme something to go off here."

Maura sighs shakily, hands coming to tuck her hair behind her ears.

"I was here first. Frost and I answered the call and she arrived, unannounced and uninvited. She trampled through a secure scene, Jane."

"That's why you're trying to kill each other?"

"She disturbed evidence that may be crucial."

"Hasn't everyone? Korsak ripped a fuckin' confession note in half in front of you once and I don't remember you throwing hands at him."

"I don't dislike him. I hate her. I cannot stand another second of her company."

"Then you take it up with Cavanaugh instead of trying to claw each other's eyes out."

"She has him wrapped around her little finger, Jane. She's not going anywhere."

"Is there something you're not telling me here? I've never seen you like that before. You're so angry."

Maura scoffs, shaking her head. She rolls her eyes, and hugs her jacket to herself, shrinking down into the seat.

"What did she say?"

"I wouldn't want to bore you with the uninteresting parts of my life."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I don't think you want to know."

"No, you know what? I do. If I'm gonna be dragged out to deal with the two of you acting like you're in a fight club then I wanna know every last detail. Did she say something to upset you? Is this just you being jealous? There is nothing going on."

"I know that. Don't bring any more of my insecurities into this."

"So just fuckin' tell me then."

Jane stands and steps backwards, counting down from five in bed head before she tosses the keys into Maura's lap.

"If you won't tell me then I'll ask someone who will."

It's a threat that Jane has every intention of following through, powering forwards when Maura doesn't respond. She crosses back in the direction she just hauled Maura away from, the scene now empty aside from two figures silhouetted against the dipped headlights of two cars pulled up next to each other. She picks a course towards the ridiculous, white Dodge Charger that belongs to April, sending gravel flying when she skids to a stop.

"And here comes the knight in shining armour." April's sarcastic tone sets an angry fire under Jane and she whacks an open hand against the roof of the car in annoyance.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"What's your girlfriend's problem? Crazy bitch."

"Hey! Watch your damn mouth." Jane rounds the car, stopping short of body-slamming into April.

"I find it ridiculous that I can't even mention your name without her flipping out on me. I never had her pegged for violence."

"Why are you even here? Surely this doesn't warrant the both of you?"

"I am trying to the job that has been asked of me. I told Dr Isles that I had it under control but she insisted on leaving the lab to come out here when I'm more than capable."

"She said you strolled right into it, over evidence."

April falters, tearing off her bloodied jacket and hurling it into the open trunk of her car.

"That was an accident that I will take full responsibility for. She's taking on more than she can manage, and I want to help but she won't accept it. It's not a competition. She wants to keep everything to herself," April narrows her eyes, dropping her voice to a whisper, "and that includes you."

"That's not what I heard you say." Frost pipes up from the safety of his car and April frowns, flipping him off.

"You know Barry, maybe I will file a report against you for busting my nose like that."

"You head-butted me, right before you kicked me in the boys."

"What did she say?" Jane interrupts calmly, irate stare not moving from April.

"She said that Maura had been careless - an outright lie - and that maybe she should focus more attention on her work instead of her...love life."

Frost's intentional vagueness tells Jane all that she needs to know and she grits her teeth, casting a glance over her shoulder towards Maura and back.

"Careless?" Jane questions and April shakes her head, sighing loudly.

"Maybe that was harsh. She seems distracted by her relationship at the moment and I think it's affecting her judgement."

"You think she's distracted? By what? Me?" Jane thumps a hand against her own chest, not caring that Frost is hearing every single word. "She's working herself to the bone to prove that she doesn't need a vulture like you hovering around her, drip-feeding the higher-ups' false tales so that you hope they'll take pity on you and bring you back to the cushy little job you gave up. You know what, April? It won't happen. Over my dead body."

Jane gulps a breath of air, her body vibrating with rage as she tries to contain herself.

"You're not a patch on her. You know as well as I do that she devotes herself to this job. She wouldn't push herself to her limits if she didn't care."

"I get that, but she's sloping around like a lovesick puppy and it's making her...I don't know, sloppy."

"First she's careless, now she's sloppy? What did she do? Not turn a report in early for once?"

"Well, now that you mention it..."

"Oh my god. What are you, her mother?" Jane laughs a dry, irate laugh, unable to believe the bullshit she's hearing.

"I thought I was doing a good thing by coming here - pulling the B.P.D's dropped standards back up with me."

"You got some fuckin' nerve April. Maybe you should take the hint and go back to Washington. It's been a real pleasure having you here, but it's about time that you packed up and fuc-"

"I don't have anyone." April blurts the words loudly, then repeats them calmly, voice sinking to a whisper.

"I don't have anyone. When Sean asked me to come out here, I jumped at the chance. We were close, once. All of us were. I don't know what happened." She sniffles, straightening up and closing the trunk of her car with a bang. "I don't understand why she hates me so much. I think she's threatened by me."

"Do us all a favor and drop the victim act," Frost chips in, leaning out of this car window, "you called her lifeless and dull. What's there to like? You're the only person left around here that still calls her Queen of the Dead, to her face no less." Jane peers around at Frost, ignoring April when she whips around, trying to talk over him loudly.

"I didn't say that, I sa-"

"You said that that the reason they're keeping it quiet is bec-"

"Why are you choosing this hill to die on? Go hom-"

"Keeping it quiet because it's not worth talking about, because you..." Frost signals to Jane, raising his voice over April's until Jane can't make out a word being said and she exclaims in frustration, stomping a foot on the wet floor. Both voices fade to nothing and Jane looks between them, heart hammering loudly in her chest.

"She said you were already bored. Bored and trapped in a dead relationship that you can't get out of. That of all the people you know, Jane Rizzoli can't be tied down, especially not by someone as monotonous as Maura."

Jane sees red before Frost has finished speaking, hands curling into fists by her sides. She forces a slow breath, feeling like the world is starting to tilt as she fights to dampen her rising temper, dangerously close to lashing out. She takes another deep breath in, eyes fluttering closed for a moment as she pictures Maura hearing these words, stomach sinking nauseatingly at the way she just knows Maura would take them at face value.

"I..." April sighs, looking down at the ground and then back up at Jane, meeting her gaze for a split second before she glances away again.

"Leave. Now." Jane spits, physically shaking as she steps away, hands up in surrender, mainly so she doesn't accidentally lurch and choke April out there and then.

"I'm sorry. For everything. I shouldn't have come."

It's only after the sound of the Dodger's engine has fully faded into the sunrise that Jane dares to look towards Frost. He nods curtly, then clears his throat, hoping that the sound will cut the residual tension around them.

"I don't believe a word she said, and neither should Maura. I'm proud of you. I'm sorry you didn't get to tell me yourself."

"You knew." She mutters and Frost shrugs lightly, turning the key in his ignition.

"Yeah. I was just waiting until you did, too. Is Maura okay?"

"I...I don't know. Fuck, I was an asshole to her before. I thought maybe...I don't know what I thought. I still don't know what the fuck just happened."

"Hell hath no fury like a scorned, outed Maura. Need a ride to your car?"

"No. Did April say all of those things?" Part of her hopes that Frost had been exaggerating, but she knows he isn't, even before he answers.

"Every last one. You might wanna go get your woman. Call me, okay?" He waves then pulls away and Jane stares up at the sky, sucking in a deep breath before she begins the slow walk back to her car.

She's got a lot of apologizing to do.

Maura examines herself in the pixelated reflection on her laptop screen, adjusting her hair with a tired sigh as she waits for Doctor Jennifer Jones to join their scheduled video call. She's weary and it shows - in the poorly concealed bags under her eyes and in the dullness of her skin. She checks the digital clock on her desk, wondering if she has enough time to touch up her makeup when the video feed changes to show her therapist, smiling warmly into the camera.

"Good evening Maura."

"Hello. Thank you for finding the time on such short notice.'

Although therapy is only a semi-regular occurrence for Maura, she still likes to check in when she feels she'd benefit from talking to someone other than Jane and her friends, and it hasn't let her down so far. Following the incident a few days ago, Maura had struggled to process the feelings it had stirred up alone and had done what she thought right, arranging a session and talking it out.

It had been a challenging few days - enough that she'd pencilled in today's appointment, hoping to take the edge off the anxiety she'd been feeling.

"I'm happy that you find these sessions so beneficial. How have you been this week?"

"Better. Jane and I are moving forwards. You were correct, about her understanding my anger. Nevertheless, I don't like that she had to witness that, much less get caught in the middle."

"You wouldn't be human if you didn't show your emotions from time to time. You said Jane understands - does that mean you spoke to her about it?"

Maura shifts uncomfortably in her chair, twirling a pen between her fingers to give her hands something do to.

"Jane brought it up first. We had a discussion. She tells me that she's glad I stood up for myself, but to tell you the truth, I think I embarrassed her. Almost as much as I mortified myself."

"Has anyone else mentioned it?"

"No. I'm very thankful that Barold gave us the privacy we needed. Only he heard us, and he's acting as if nothing has changed."

"What do you feel has changed?"

"Everything. Nothing. I don't know."

Jennifer scribbles a note and Maura looks away, taking a sip from the glass of water next to her. She doesn't dare to think what might be written on that piece of paper, but she doubts it's worse than what she thinks of herself.

"Have you seen Dr Moore since?"

"No, but she did leave me a gift." Maura laughs a bitter laugh, reminded of the gaudy bouquet of flowers currently wilting on her desk along with a two-page apology letter that April had left in her office when Maura hadn't been there, not having the courage to show her face.

"How did that make you feel? Did you accept her apology?"

"I was too outraged at first, but I took the letter home with me and read through it a few times and I…I felt sorry for her, in the end. I wanted to call, but Jane told me I'm too forgiving and that she didn't deserve a second chance, so I didn't."

"Are you too forgiving?"

Maura smiles to herself, trying not to think of all the self-inflicted pain she'd caused in the past by allowing herself to bear the brunt of someones negative treatment towards her, only to excuse them the moment they showed the smallest scrap of remorse.

"Yes. Jane's right."

"How does she feel about all of this? Has she been open about it?"

"I think so. She's resentful and frustrated at April, and she promises that she's not mad at me but…" Maura shrugs, tilting back in her chair and staring up at the ceiling. She fears she may cry and she does her best to stop it, blinking away tears.

"You don't believe her."

"No." It's difficult for Maura to say out loud but she pushes herself to, gaze flicking back down to the screen. "I trust her with my life, but there are things she doesn't tell me…things that I can't pull from her, no matter how hard I try. And that makes it exceptionally difficult for me to pinpoint how she's feeling, or what she's thinking. And yes, I sometimes struggle to accept the things she says. Does that make me a bad partner?"

"Not at all. You mentioned last time that she's holding something back from you. Have you tried to broach that issue?"

"No. She needs time, and I'd like to give her that. I think it'd make it easier to fill in the gaps if I knew, but…it's her choice to make, and I respect that. She'll come to me when she's ready."

"Do you think what happened between you and Dr Moore is related to what she's not telling you? Is that why she acted the way she did?"

The question settles uncomfortably in Maura's mind and she ponders the possibility. From what she can gather, Jane's past relationship, as unhealthy and hurtful as it sounds, was broken down by others, not dissimilar to the way that April continues to discourage theirs.

"Maura? I see that I've provoked some thought there."

"I don't think it's tied together that closely, but I do think that Jane is…" Maura flounders, not wanting to seem presumptuous and put words in Jane's mouth. "I think she's scared."

Jennifer's pen scratches across the notepad and Maura feels her cheeks flush. She feels like she's stepping over a boundary and making assumptions that hold no truth, despite the inkling she has that she's correct.

"What is she scared of? What makes you think that?"

"You know I don't like to speculate."

"It's not speculating if there is evidence, no matter how small. You're safe to be open here Maura. No judgement and I won't hold you to it."

"I suppose…she had said it herself. That she's scared of losing me. Scared we won't make it."

"Are you?"

"No." Maura lies, breath instantly catching in her throat. She takes a drink of water, hoping the cold will ease the tightening of her throat, but it doesn't and she splutters, hand reaching to grab a tissue that she holds to her mouth, catching any water that threatens to spray out.

"Something tells me that's not the truth."

"I'm not scared as such, but I do find it very hard to believe that Jane is content. It's different. We are different. I don't want to sound arrogant, but my prior relationships had all been orchestrated under my control...I've been the one to take the lead and steer it where I want to go, but with Jane...she's the one driving. It startles me how easy it has been to open up even the darkest corners of my heart to her. I've experienced jealousy for the first time in my life. And I lose sleep at night that I'm not enough. She's confident and fierce and not afraid to show it, and I'm...not. I'm not any of those things."

Maura has spent a lifetime hearing how very plain she is - smart and dependable, sure, but banal at her very core. She'd built walls against the teasing and taunting, growing up in self-inflicted isolation, moving through life at a sluggish pace. Her guiding-light her had been career advances, and she'd reached a stage of acceptance that things would never change when Jane had blasted into her life, turning everything Maura thought true about herself on its head.

"I think you need to give yourself credit where credit is due Maura. Look how far you've come. I think you've spent far too long only hearing the negative from people that truly don't matter. Open yourself to accepting the positive, from the ones that do love you."

Maura can't formulate a response fast enough and stares blankly at the screen, mouth opening and closing wordlessly.

"I think it's very clear to any outsider peeking in that Jane adores you, despite what you choose to believe about yourself. Maybe you have been on autopilot, for the sake of self-preservation but perhaps it's time to switch it off. Trust that Jane can navigate for both of you. It's time to start living, Maura, before you regret missing what's right in front of you."