Take Two Round Two

by Third Fang

What do you get when you cross several interdimensional god like beings, raw boredom, a world of Naruto that went wrong, several years worth of off screen training, common sense, insanity, humor, sarcasm, the Log, explosions, plot, and overall chaos? Apparently a lot of headache medicine for Tsunade. May the Games Begin. Sequel to Yet Again With A Little Extra Help.

7. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: Where Naruto finally shows off some of his skills for the readers, but still ends up on the short end of the luck stick because his misery is what truly saves the world in the end. Or that's what I use as my excuse at least.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OC's and new Jutsu in the story as well as every ounce of pure awesome spawned by this.

o. o. o.

With the Main Character:

The first thing Naruto noticed when he regained consciousness was that his body was freezing cold.

… If I open my eyes and find out that Ero-Nii stole my organs for some extra cash and left me in another ice filled bathtub again, I'm gonna shank the first not important bastard I get my hands on…

"Wake up idiot. Your breathing changed." A rough yet familiar voice drilled into his skull, pulling him further into the land of the living and unfortunately aware.

"Za?" The blonde muttered as he blearily opened his eyes and tried to wipe them with his hands, only to find that his entire body was encased in ice. He looked down at himself and his prison in mild confusion before giving what one could only interpret as a shrug. "… Eh. At least my organs are still here this time."

"Any idea what he means by that?" An eyepatched man with blue hair asked with a frown to Zabuza and Haku. If memory serves right, he was that stuck up dick who tried to order him around right after he took down the Sanbi. All in all he looked like a stickler for the rules, authority, and regulations. An easy and very tempting shanking target.

"Don't care. Don't know. And most likely don't want to know." Zabuza replied without taking his eyes off of the other jinchuriki in the room. "Fox?"

"I'm just here to make sure he doesn't get himself killed again. I still need his existence for the moment." The very much free and aloof Kurama yawned from the corner behind his container.

"For the record, I am interpreting that as you agreeing with me." The swordsman nodded, though filed away the fact that the fox said killed again for later.

"As amusing as your banter has proven to be, I believe that we must get back onto topic." Mei spoke up with a gentle smile.

"Huh…" Naruto looked at everyone in the room. Including the Mizukage, Zabuza, Haku and Kurama, he was also surrounded by Michiru, Hikairu, Amayo, all four of the summons, Koyuki, and several random guards that he didn't really notice or care about (including Ao, Suigetsu, and Chojuro). "… Is this an intervention? Because it really feels like the beginning of one."

"If only that would even work." The fox sarcastically snorted with his eyes closed.

"We're here to talk to you." Pa spoke up as he sat on top of Gamakichi while Ma was on Gamatatsu. "Since things have finally calmed down, everyone thought that now would be good to actually get some serious conversation in."

"Mmm." Ma nodded. "You're always so energetic Naruto-chan. We really should have one of these meetings as soon as you got back. Besides, it's been so long and the first thing you do when you call us again is because you got yourself into more trouble. Such a tiresome child."

"Can we have snacks?" Gamatatsu spoke up. "I'm hungry."

"… Huuuuuunnnngggrrryyyy." The trapped jinchuriki wept, once again reminded of his lack of nourishment…

Whack!

… Until Ma's tongue shot out and nailed him in the forehead loudly and with enough speed to only be seen by the shinobi in the room.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?!"

"Naruto-chan. It would be best if you curbed your joking around for the moment." Pa frowned. "There are too many important humans around for you to do what you normally do."

"What do you mean?" The blonde frowned with his cheeks puffed out childishly. "Koyuki and Michiru already know what I'm like." He quickly looked at the mentioned "normal" people. "Hi, by the way. Long time no see. You look great." He turned back to the toads. "Then there's you guys. As for these people from Kiri… yeah I got nothing on them."

"It would be best if you watched your tongue boy." Ao stepped forward and gestured to Mei. "Do you know whose presence you are currently in?"

Naruto looked at the Mizukage for a moment and then shrugged. "Clearly someone vastly more important than you, but otherwise no. Not that it matters since someone's going to explain it to me regardless in the next ten seconds."

Suigetsu snorted. "Heh. He's got you there patches."

"She's the Mizukage." Chojuro spoke up. "Mei Terumi."

"The Mizukage?" The blonde blinked as he looked at her with interest. "So you're the one that's holding Zabuza's second leash?"

"Second leash?" Mei blinked in confusion, not noticing her boyfriend reaching for his sword slowly.

"Yep. I've heard you have him whipped good, but back home everyone knows he's Scab's bit-" The grinning teen was interrupted as the Demon of the Hidden Mist swung down his massive sword so that the hole near the top was around his neck.

"… You're making this really hard for me to be happy about you being back. You realize that right?" The Assassin growled murderously.

Haku frowned as she felt that something was off. It was faint, but she could tell that Zabuza could feel it as well from how his neck and body were tensed up. A brief look around the room told her that Mei, Ao, and the elder Toads were the only ones who caught onto it too.

Naruto rolled his eyes, clearly not as worried about being decapitated as everyone else in the room. "Tch. Yeah, but if I wasn't doing that you'd be worried that I REALLY went off the deep end while I was gone, wouldn't you? Besides. YOU? HAPPY?"

"He's got a point there." Suigetsu muttered out loud. ""Zabuza" and "happy" are never in the same sentence unless the word "massacre" or "torture" is in it as well."

The two stared one another down for several moments before the aggressor removed his weapon. "I hate it when you used that fucked up logic of yours."

"You know you missed it."

"As much as watching you two bicker amuses me, I believe we must focus on more important issues." Mei spoke up calmly. "Such as what we are supposed to make of you Uzumaki-kun. You are after all, a rather high profile individual these days."

"S Raaaaaank." The blonde hissed out as if he was trying to be cool and low key.

"Naruto. I will only warn you once." Haku spoke up. "If you let your threat status get in the way of our talk, I will not be generous in how cold I make my ice like I am now. Test me and you might lose something important."

To drive her point home, the girl smiled innocently as she began to lower the temperature of the frozen water encasing her friend gradually while maintaining eye contact and smiling innocently.

It didn't take long for the trapped teen's face to take on a slightly blue shade and his breath to be visible. "Gah! Cold! Cold! I give! I give! You win! Please stop with the freezing of my body and the potential permanent damaging of unspecified body parts! I need those for doing things and stuff!"

Welcome to the club. Suigetsu sighed, knowing exactly what Naruto was going through via personal experience.

"I see." Mei mused out loud with a not so subtle smirk on her face. "So you are also one of those types that need a firm hand to manage."

"I'm personally baffled that such an undisciplined child could manage to gain the power to have the reputation he does." Ao snorted before looking at Kurama with his good eye.

The fox ignored the man. Many greater men have assumed as much about his container, no doubt crediting his strength and success to his status as a Jinchuriki, and a good number of them have suffered for such shallow logic.

"Of course an idiot like you would think that." Zabuza shot down Ao's statement, much to everyone's surprise. The man was not exactly the type to stand up for others. Ever since he had removed his weapon, he had not taken his eyes off of the Uzumaki. "Oi toads. How much longer do you have? We can deal with your stuff first so you can go back."

"Long enough, but not as much as we would like." Pa grunted. Out of everyone in the room, he was the one that knew Naruto the longest, time travel included, and every time he saw the boy he could not help but marvel at the child's improvement.

"We would have had longer if you kids would just keep quiet when he woke up." Ma grumbled under her breath.

"Kids?" Ao scoffed, clearly not used to being talked to as if he was five. "I have you know that…"

"Stuff it. Those two geezers are nearly ten times older than the hidden villages." The senior swordsman interrupted him. "Even I know better than to challenge them when they have something important to talk about. You don't take the word of an elder summon lightly and expect to live. They're just as dangerous as boss summons."

Everyone who didn't know of that fact before turned to the two Sages in disbelief. Even the Mizukage had trouble holding back her reaction.

"Ten times?" Chojuro whispered. "They're nearly a thousand years old?"

"Don't be silly dear." Ma blushed, always embarrassed when talking about her age to others while not arguing with her husband. "I'm only a shade over eight hundred."

"Focus Ma. We are nearly out of time." Pa frowned before turning to Naruto, whose complexion had returned from white blue to a healthier albeit still somewhat pale color. "Naruto-chan. Why aren't you back in Konoha? I thought that you of all people would be spending a good deal of time back in the village with your friends."

"Hmm." The trapped teen looked to the side as if pondering how to say what he wanted. "Yeah, sorry about that Pa, but I just really needed a good long vacation for the time being. Travelling around with Ero-Ni for almost three years can get a bit… stressful, if you get what I mean. I need some time to myself and clear my head a bit." He smiled sheepishly. "Actually I summoned you to ask you a favor. If Ero-Senin asks you for help to find or reverse summon me, can you kinda… not? Please?"

"Who the hell is Ero-Senin?" Suigetsu whispered to Chojuro, asking what was on most of the human's minds.

"He's talking about Jiraiya." Zabuza grunted. "You know, the only other person that can summon toads?"

"He calls one of the Sanin Ero-Senin?" Chojuro paled. "He must have a death wish."

"Why would you ask that?" Mei asked curiously, ignoring her subordinates talk amongst themselves. "Certainly Konoha knows about your travels and where you are going correct? It would be most embarrassing for someone of your significance to go walking around as such."

"Zabuza clearly has not told you much about him then." Kurama snorted with dry amusement.

"Yeah… I kinda ditched Ero-nii as soon as we were in the area and have been just exploring all over for the past couple of weeks… minus the time I was unconscious here of course." The blonde shrugged.

"Dare I ask how you managed to get away from Ghost-san so easily?" Haku hesitantly questioned.

"Ero-ni REALLY doesn't like Chinese food."

"Of course."

Ao snorted. "I am astounded that you stay with Konoha, Zabuza. If a child like this is a product of their system then I don't know how they can manage to get things done, let alone keep their men in check."

Looking around however, he noticed that all the non shinobi and those that outranked him in the room didn't seem to agree as they looked at him with distaste.

"Counting today, he has saved my life on at least three separate occasions." Koyuki stated factually and politely. "Forgive me if I do not share the same impression as you do Shinobi-san."

"He was in charge of my guard for over three months while I was travelling the continent." Michiru frowned. "His personality is one thing, however even I could tell that he is more than capable."

"Keep talking Ao." Zabuza shook his head. "All the more reason to laugh at your funeral."

Mei recalled just a few hours earlier when the boy seemingly fazed into existence and rescued Koyuki from the middle of all those men. Even she would admit that what he had managed took a certain level of skill to pull off. Her eyes turned once again to the boy who she acknowledged as a credible threat, crying passionately. "I will have to agree with the majority Ao. Do be silent or I will make you."

"I… I feel so loved. After so long people are recognizing that I'm more than just a pretty face."

"Don't push it." Haku evenly retorted. "I'll tell Hinata that you felt up Koyuki-sama if you do."

"Yes ma'am."

"Why not go back to Myobokuzan if you are so tired?" Ma asked. "You know we're more than happy to house you there for as long as you need to Naruto-chan. It wouldn't take you long to get used to being back home with us again." She didn't mention his Sage training. That alone was on a need to know basis.

"Thanks but no thanks Ma." Naruto smiled peacefully. "I wanna take my break to go exploring the continent for a while and just talk to people and random strangers. You know, normal stuff."

And normal does not include talking to toads or surviving off of nothing but the world's cleanest swamp water and sickeningly huge bugs. I'm tweaked but I'm not that off in the head.

"And how long do you intend to do this?" Pa frowned. "You know better than most of what is going to happen soon."

"It's happening already." The blonde corrected factually, causing those in the know to frown momentarily. The fact that he could say such a thing so calmly was somewhat concerning. "However it's better if I'm still nowhere to be found at the moment. Eh, but to answer your question, I'm probably gonna go back regardless in about a month or two. There are a few places I wanna check out before then."

"That and you wish to make the casino owners here lament your existence some more." Kurama smirked.

"Yes. That is true. I came here for the sole purpose of getting loads of money legally and making grown men cry doing their jobs. It. Shall. Be. Glorious." The jinchuriki's evil laugh sent shivers down everyone's spine before he winced. "Ow… but before that I apparently have to get my body back to speed. Freaking bed cramps."

"That's right. You should still be recovering from what you went through." Ma frowned and turned to Haku. "Girl. Let him go. That's no way to treat the injured."

The ice user bowed apologetically. "You are indeed correct Lady Sage, however while Naruto doesn't feel it due to the lower temperatures, I have designed this particular ice prison of mine to have a small healing factor for those inside. It was made to transport the injured who were otherwise in no condition to be moved."

"How can I be transported if I'm anchored to the ground?" Naruto raised an eyebrow skeptically, only to pause as the bottom layer of ice to his prison separated him from the ground, enabling him to float lazily a few inches off the ground. "… Ah… neat."

"Don't you mean cool?" Suigetsu smirked at the bad pun.

"... Boy I will bean you upside your waterlogged head with my awesome frozen body casing of pain if more fail comes out of your mouth." The time traveler stared back at him seriously.

"What are you-"

"FAIL!"

The bloodthirsty teen blinked in disbelief. "This coming from the idiot who is frozen up to his neck?"

"FAAAAAAIIIIIILLLL!" The blonde hissed leering now and hissing like Orochimaru while he somehow began to float much higher into the air like he was some sort of demonic and psychotic head attached to a pile of ice.

And then Haku slammed him back to the ground again, shaking the room slightly.

"Gah! Damn it Haku that hurt! Is that any way to treat the injured here?!"

Hikairu couldn't help but giggle at Naruto's behavior. Even after all these years he still could act like a complete nut in a serious situation. He didn't notice most of the other adults hearing him and relaxing their guard a tad bit slightly. "Looks like he can fly after all."

"Grandma. Grandpa. Brother. Are we done yet?" Gamatatsu moaned. "I'm getting tired and hungry and itchy."

"You're always tired and hungry Tatsu." Gamakichi retorted, ignoring the fact that he was getting a bit winded from staying in the area where he was summoned for so long. Technically summons could stay as long as they wished, but being away from their natural habitat tended to have a toll on them after a while, especially the bigger and stronger ones. Plus they were on a sea based island and the salt water air didn't really agree with them.

"Hmmm." Pa frowned as he leered at Naruto. Despite his concerns he and the other toads could tell just how powerful their summoner was. They had not once since being called encountered a breath of air that wasn't saturated in the boy's conditioned technique, meaning that should they even try to go into sage mode or use sage chakra they would have to gather it through the earth else the blonde would know exactly what they were doing…

Yet Naruto was still tired and not at his best, so the elder toad turned to the person who had the most to gain and lose from his current predicament and thus the most responsible for what happened next. "Mizukage-dono. What do you plan to do knowing that Naruto-chan is here? Given who and what he is, you no doubt have considered many potential outcomes and actions to the situation."

The woman pouted innocently. "Come now. Please do not look at me so suspiciously honored Sage. While I admit I had expected more from Uzumaki's behavior, I can only see positive nonviolent opportunities from this. What better way to cement the trading agreement between the lands of Water, Moon, and Spring, than with the hero of the latter two presiding over the signing to show the world of Konoha's support of it?"

I thought that was why I was here. Zabuza mentally grumbled but kept his mouth shut. He really didn't care one way or another of his reason behind his presence, but he still didn't like being swept under the rug at a whim.

"Trading agreement?" Naruto frowned as he looked around at who was in the room skeptically before putting the pieces together. "… The leaders of two countries and the military head of the third. So the signing is about to take place between a significant new trading route between all three of you… giving you cheaper, protected, and varied access to supplies to and from all parts of the world. Plus this would expand Spring's sale of technology faster via Moon's resources and connections, and Water protects it all for faster access to everything. Interesting… and what exactly is Konoha's role? Zabuza wouldn't be here if the leaf didn't have anything to do with this."

He's sharp. Far more so than he lets on at face value. Mei mused as she saw that neither Koyuki nor Michiru were surprised that Naruto got the basic idea behind the deal just by seeing who was there. If anything they seemed to be amused by it. It most likely meant that it was not so infrequent that they thought that such things were flukes.

"Mostly for political support and to potentially extend a hand to Kiri in terms of a more established alliance rather than the mutual ceasefire we have now. However in the fine print the Land of Fire is also allowing a few ports to be used in the deal for better access to the mainland trade circles. It's a good addition, but not significant enough to warrant a high profile individual to come to the main signing. The ink on that particular bit has already dried a few weeks ago. As for the events here, we smile, have a few photos, and then go to our next destinations. We have more to lose than to gain if we attempt to do anything to Uzumaki-san here."

"Yeah I tend to get into lots of situations like that. Sorry. I guess this means that there's going to be more Konoha shinobi at those ports to make sure that Kiri doesn't try anything in them and clearly for no other reason but that." Obviously no one bought that last bit, but they were too smart to challenge it since he was technically right. "I'm just glad that the old bat isn't here. If Baa-chan was here with you, I'd be nothing but a bloody smear on the wall when I first showed up." The teen laughed genuinely.

"Come now. Tsunade-chan might be a bit irritated with you but she wouldn't go that far." Ma chided.

Wait, he refers to the strongest woman in the world as Grandma? Chojuro and Suigetsu blinked in disbelief.

Pa, Zabuza, Haku and Kurama looked at one another skeptically, clearly not sharing her feelings on the subject. Mei and several of the other shinobi there caught onto their looks instantly.

"Well then." Pa coughed, gathering attention back to him. "If that is all you intend to do with him, and so long as Naruto-chan's only plan for here is to abuse the gambling system again…"

"Again?" Chojuro whispered to Suigetsu in confusion.

"… Then I suppose we can take our leave then." He looked at the topic of conversation. "Naruto-chan, we'll keep quiet for now, but only for two months. If you aren't back by then we will force you back if necessary."

"Got ya. Thanks Pa." The teen smiled widely, showing everyone his slightly longer canines.

"Summon us sometime Naruto." Kamakichi smirked. "I have a bunch of neat moves I wanna try with you. I don't wanna be left out of your crazy big fights next time. Dad still gloats with Gamaken and Gamahiro about when you guys took down the Sanbi."

"Hey Zabuza, mind taking out your perfectly justified frustration on that warted little shit?" Isobu asked almost casually from inside his container. "My head is still ringing from that last blow those long tongued bastards gave me."

"I'm sorry I didn't bring anything with me this time Naruto-chan." Ma apologized. "I'll have something prepped for the next time you come."

"… I'm honestly so hungry that I look forward to it." The Jinchuriki shivered, not knowing if being so famished that he actually wanted Ma's leftovers was another sign of him going off the deep end. "Later."

The four toads nodded before disappearing in a large cloud of smoke.

"So then… what now?" Naruto asked the Mizukage directly.

"Mmm." The woman put on a thoughtful pose. "Well I suppose that we should interrogate you on what happened. Kyubi-dono has been most helpful describing what happened while he was with you, but not of when you left for us. Indeed, how did you manage to reach us so quickly without encountering any enemies?"

"That? Oh, I just glided. It's cheaper in terms of chakra cost than flying." The jinchuriki shrugged, not at all hesitant about revealing some of his secrets. "You guys were at the beach way down there, and the castle is way up here. Almost a straight shot really. Jumped off of the roof and went right over everyone's heads."

"Impossible. You would have to have gone above where we were fighting. I would have sensed you." Ao frowned.

"Well then I guess you aren't as good as you think you are then are you?" The teen stuck out his tongue. "How often do you focus feeling for things at least a hundred feet above your head in the middle of a fight where the entire enemy is ground based?"

"Looks like you're getting rusty Ao." Suigetsu smirked.

Mei donned her coy smile. The boy had neither confirmed nor denied that he might have done something. Indeed what he said may have very well been the reason why Ao didn't detect him, and given from the man's reaction he might have been right, however she had a good suspicion that the energetic teen was hiding the real reason why he wasn't noticed.

She wouldn't push it though. He was a potential valuable ally and so he was allowed to have his own secret or two.

"Mmm. I don't know if that's true or not, but I do agree that you have been behind a desk more than not recently. I should give you a few more active missions to keep you in shape." The Mizukage nodded. Her gaze was matched by Naruto's and for a brief moment she had seen what she had suspected was there, the brief sharp glint of someone who knew damn well what he was doing, yet ensured that he benefitted from his actions at the same time. "However back on topic, I do have another question Uzumaki-san."

"Sure." Naruto acted casual, but his slit eyes didn't leave her this time. Actually, more often than not his eyes were actually closed unless he was expressing himself outrageously. Another thing to note. "Hit me."

"Actually, I was curious as to why you made those comments for Kazahana-dono to do just that." Mei smiled.

"And do tell the truth." Koyuki smiled dangerously. At that moment she was clearly the most lethal person in the room. "I'll have you know that the only weight I have gained since we last met was due to me reaching the peak of adulthood, and as such should not warrant your rather hurtful comments."

"Seriously?" The teen looked at the women as if they were missing something important. "Isn't that obvious? Zabuza and Haku were gonna kill me."

"Is that so? Because they informed me that you merely did something… irrational out of sheer habit."

"So that they didn't kill me." Naruto spoke as if he was stating obvious.

"Knocking you out prevented them from killing you?"

"Can't torture me for stress relief if I'm not awake to feel it." He shrugged. "They were gunning for the slow and painful death approach. I could see it in their soulless hate filled eyes of misery and loathing."

"Unfortunately." Zabuza muttered under his breath.

"Glad to see I could finally serve a purpose in your madness Naruto." Koyuki smiled innocently. "I'm so happy. For a moment there I thought that I might actually have to make you one of my country's blimps to show how grateful we were."

The blonde pouted. "You know that Kakashi-sensei would have torn that thing apart before even seeing me with my hands on one."

"I know. I can only imagine what you would have looked like if you were forced to watch that happen."

"… Now that's just mean."

Before the group could belittle Naruto's integrity some more, someone knocked at the door. "Mizukage-sama. Michiru-sama. Koyuki-sama. The reports on the incident are waiting to be reviewed and there are some survivors that are ready to be interrogated. In addition to that, there are several contacts that are waiting for confirmation of your current status. It appears as if someone sent out messenger hawks prematurely indicating that the Daimyo and their family were captured."

"Ah. I guess we will have to postpone our little talk for later then." Mei sighed, though with little emotion behind it. "Our petty curiosities must be put aside for the sake of our people."

"How annoying." Michiru huffed as he turned to the door which was opened by one of the ANBU that Mei had hidden inside the room. "It's bad enough that they attacked my home and nearly killed everyone, but even after we've won they have still managed to throw things into chaos by them thinking they've won before they even fought."

"A blow from beyond the grave." Koyuki shook her head before pausing. "Hmm. That could be the title of a movie…"

"By Naruto-nii." Hikairu waved as he left the room. "I'll talk to you later ok?"

"Sure. Sounds fun." The teen smiled genuinely. "You can tell me how the guys at the circus are doing when we catch up. Later Michiru. Later… Queen… Michiru's wife… person. Good seeing you again. Still much better than when we had to deal with Shabadahahahaha! Oh god I still can't say that dick's name with a straight face! Hahaha! Honestly who names their kid that?!"

Amayo couldn't help but laugh dryly as her family followed her son. "My name is Amayo Naruto-san. And thank you again for saving my homeland and family. We are in your debt."

"No that's fine. I'm used to dealing with these sorts of things by now." The jinchuriki gave a half hearted shrug. "Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to make my miraculous escape now. Huurrrk!" He began to flex his muscles in an attempt to break out of the ice, but clearly he wasn't strong enough to do so.

It was understandable considering that the last Haku checked, it took Gai and or Lee at least three gates to break through her stronger ice constructs via sheer brute force.

"Gah." Naruto breathed out loudly as he failed to make due on his word. "Wait. Wait. That was just a warmup. This time I'll hurrrrg!" His face grew red again as he struggled futilely comically against his prison.

"How many men do you have watching the runt?" Zabuza asked Mei as he looked at the blonde teen struggle to break free, puffing out his cheeks in frustration each time and making his face red before giving up and exhaling loudly before repeating the process.

"Afraid your little target will escape?" The Mizukage smiled. "Don't worry. We have a full team keeping an eye on him. He's not going anywhere. Besides, he said it himself, he's too exhausted and weak to be an issue."

"Challenge accepted!"

"Two teams at the least." Haku stated calmly as Naruto struggled again, shaking his head frantically in frustration. "I don't want to take any chances with him Mei-sama. In a fight that might be true, but Naruto-kun has always been rather tricky and creative when he wants to be."

"Oh sweet! I think I have circulation to my fingers again! Progress!"

"Speaking from experience?" Ao asked skeptically.

"I said he almost gelded me didn't I? That was when I first met the little shit, back when he was TWELVE." Zabuza frowned. "Don't underestimate this one."

"No one ever expects the Naruto Inquisition!"

"Wouldn't that have simply been because of the Kyubi in him?" Chojuro asked skeptically as he left the room and eyed the fox that was all but sleeping in the room.

"Fools! You expectations of me requiring aid shall be your undoing!"

"No." Haku shook her head. "He has not used the fox's chakra at all when we first encountered one another. In fact he rarely uses it outside of dire circumstances."

"That's because I'm awesome! Also because using his power itches like nothing else!"

"Personally I'd tell you to put four teams on his ass before I felt remotely sure he wouldn't get out, but we don't have those numbers." The swordsman shrugged. "The furball won't help him out in something like this. Even if they do get along better, it enjoys the brat's suffering too much to do that."

"Following that logic, I'm should never be without entertainment or a headache."

"It's totally worth it!"

"I see." Mei frowned as she stopped outside the doors and turned to her assistant. "Ao, Suigetu, keep watch outside the doors in case our guest does try to escape. Between the two of you, Uzumaki-san here should be manageable."

"Fine by me." The younger shrugged. "The nut's really annoying. It'll give me an excuse to cut him up a bit if he pushes it."

"HAH!" Naruto's laugh clearly indicated that he didn't believe Suigetsu would make do with his statement in the slightest.

"I must protest Mizukage-sama." Ao frowned. "I am your aid. Surely there are far more important tasks to put me on than…"

"Keeping an eye on a weakened S ranked foreign shinobi that is all but an iconic hero to the two countries that we are making a deal with in the very near future?" Mei smiled innocently. "Don't worry Ao. Chojuro has been more than helpful in the times you have been away from your desk. I am certain that he will more than be able to do so again this time as well."

"Erk." The man froze, knowing that he was shit out of luck in this argument. "F-fine. Mizukage-sama. Suigetsu and I will stay out here while the ANBU keep watch from inside."

"Sucks to be you, person who I don't care what your name is!" Naruto laughed again as the last of the people left the room and the doors closed. By this point his face was constantly red from his struggling and it appeared as if it wouldn't be long till he burst a vein in his futile efforts.

"His personality does leave much to be desired." The Mizukage frowned as she walked away with her entourage. The two daimyo had already left to perform their own tasks.

"He says what he wants to say… but his thoughts often follow another route." Haku sighed as she made up the rear guard to their group. "Among those that know him, there are few that actually question his judgment. I'm not at all surprised that no one under his command died during the fiasco with Iwa."

"So he's a genius?" Chojuro asked curiously. "I don't see how it can be otherwise considering how young he is."

"Feh. Maybe, but not like most." Zabuza snorted. "Brat's just more creative about stuff. The fox just gave him an out with his stamina and he ups his training via shadow clones when he can. The rest he just runs into face first until he gets it down. He's downright relentless and cold when he wants to be."

"Hmm. I was wondering where you got the idea to use that move for training from." Mei smirked before realizing something and turning to Zabuza. "Dear, do tell me what I am smelling from you."

The look Zabuza gave his lover could not be any drier as he tilted his head to face her directly. "You're going to have to be more specific than that Mei."

The Mizukage's visible eye narrowed. "You make it a habit to erase your scent as frequently as possible after spending so much time with Kakashi Hatake, and yet I detect the faint but distinct smell of blood from you. Seeing as it isn't strong enough as it normally is when you kill someone, I must assume that something else has happened…"

An instant later her hand, which had reached for his face, was grabbed by his own to stop her.

"You know I don't like people doing that." He frowned.

"Raise your head Zabuza." The woman said calmly. "That's an order."

"I'm with the Leaf now. Technically you're not my boss."

"He got you under your chin, didn't he?" Haku noted with a sharp glint in her eyes.

"Who?" Chojuro blinked in confusion, a bit unnerved at the tense atmosphere.

Clicking his tongue in annoyance, the man gave up at hiding his most recent wound and raised his head to show the red stain in the bandages right under his chin and hidden from view. "The blonde shit is better than you think Mei. He's the kind that can flex his claws right in front of your face without you even knowing it just for laughs."

"I was wondering what that feeling I had earlier was." Haku mused as she recalled the slight tingle she sensed just as Zabuza brought his sword down around Naruto's head. In that single moment the blonde had demonstrated that he was more than capable of still defending himself in dire situations without anyone that didn't matter knowing. "I thought that the toads gave up too easily when he asked to be left alone."

"Wh-what?!" Chojuro gaped. "Most of us have trouble just getting a scratch on you, but you're telling me he landed a near lethal blow without anyone knowing while starving and stuck in Haku's ice?"

It was a reasonable reaction. He and the other next generation Seven Swordsmen in training had more than once attempted to fight Zabuza only to end up getting all but maimed every time with their target getting minimal damage every time. Even when they went and tried to gang up on him he had taken them apart with ease when he busted out his mist. He was such a monster that the teens were seriously debating on who would win in an all out fight between him and Kisame.

"Don't be stupid. In a real fight between us there's no way that trick would have worked." The man grunted, already figuring out the mechanics behind his assailant's technique. Simply having his presence out or channeling enough chakra in his body would disrupt the 7th sense around his body enough to prevent blades from forming that close to his body. Wouldn't prevent the brat from sensing him, but nothing was perfect. "Hell, given who we are that might as well be a handshake."

"Well it's a good thing we have a different way of greeting one another, don't we?" Mei smiled with a hint of amusement.

Zabuza wasn't fooled though. He could tell she was a bit tweaked off at him for hiding the brief nonverbal exchange from her and more so that it happened right in front of her and she didn't catch it.

"As much as it makes me curious how we'd go with that, I'd rather not have us attempt to kill one another every time we met." The swordsman snorted. "Your techniques aren't exactly clean to work with."

The Mizukage was about to retort to her lover's comment when she noticed that Haku had stopped. "Is something wrong Haku-chan?"

The ice user simply stood there with a single eyebrow twitching.

"He got away didn't he?" Zabuza deadpanned, clearly not surprised by the turn of events in the slightest.

"Huh?" Chojuro blinked in confusion.

Haku didn't respond, and simply turned around to calmly walk back to the room that they had left not even five minutes earlier.

"Hm?" Suigetsu blinked as he saw his boss and teachers coming back. "Hey what's up? You guys forget something?"

"Is something the matter Mizukage-sama?" Ao frowned. "Please rest assured. I have not sensed any disturbances in the room, spikes in chakra, or-" He was cut off as Haku silently brushed past him and opened the door to the room wide open.

Inside, the four ANBU Mei had stationed in the room were out cold on the floor against the walls and the giant mound that had trapped Naruto diced into large but finely cut chunks. The one the ice held was nowhere in sight, however odds were he had escaped via the window that was now open.

"… Huh." Suigetsu honestly didn't know what to say but didn't really care much about it. "He's better than I thought."

"H-how?" Ao stammered, completely aghast that this could have happened so quickly.

"Figures." Zabuza sighed.

"Fast." Chojuro whispered while trying to figure out how Naruto could have done this in such a short amount of time.

"We should have known better by now. Should have knocked him out before we left." Haku grunted under her breath.

"Hm?" Kurama yawned lazily, still in his spot and in the same position as when they left, and looked at the group. "Oh. You're back. I was wondering how long it would take for someone to notice."

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Konohamaru, Moegi, Udon, and Hanabi were running for their lives from Shadow Oogakari, who was currently in a bunny outfit, and holding up a pink fairy dress in one hand and a set of polka dotted overalls in the other.

"PLAY DRESSUP WITH ME! I NEED GUESTS FOR THE BUTTERFLY TEA CANNON PARTY!"

"NOOOOOOO!"

"CRYPT! HEAD THEM OFF!"

True to form, the most insane member of the Oogakari popped out of the earth in front of the terrified children with a red wig on his head, a red ball on his nose, purple streamers literally nailed to his shoulders, eyeliner, a cardboard cereal box rubber cemented to the side of his head, and of course, smiley face stickers all across his chest to prove that he's a good boy.

"BED SHEETS TASTE TERRIBLE, HOWEVER I… um… I HAVE COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN WHAT TO SAY NEXT!"

"HE IS AN ACCEPTABLE LOSS! KEEP GOING!" Konohamaru roared at the top of his lungs as he and his comrades bowled right through the disturbed man with no remorse while fleeing for their lives.

Moments later, Shadow followed suit, stepping on her brother's face with her high heels without a second thought.

The chase continued all over the village several times. The ANBU had attempted to stop Shadow on multiple occasions, however much like any other time, they had failed spectacularly upon contact with the wrathful woman in fairly provocative clothing.

That is until she was clothes-lined by Ghost as she turned a corner and landed flat on her back.

Let it be known that the Oogakari did not discriminate between gender… even if the males frequently argued on what Shadow's real sex was.

"Hey midget."

"Kak! Cough cough! Wheeze!"

"I see you busted out the bunny suit. Training the runts on how to ignore what people are dressed in in order to make them pay attention to the psycho in them?"

"Fukakaku! Gasp! Cough!"

"Good times. Gooood times."

"Huahghghaaaa!"

"Oh don't even try to make me feel responsible for possibly ruining that costume. That's not even the one you like. Your favorite one is bazooka proof. It wouldn't scratch that easily."

"Wheeeeeeeeze!"

"Huh. You're right. This one does make your ass stick out more."

"Cough."

"You're welcome."

"S-sensei? Is it safe?" Moegi whimpered as she and the others peeked around the corner of the fence, ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble even though they were all drenched in sweat and clearly exhausted.

"Yep. Midget's done for the day."

"Whohohahackakaka!"

"Hey. Someone needs to kick your ass on occasion and Waltz needs a break from handling you and Crypt by himself for so long."

"Wheeze."

"I love you too."

"So it's true. You really are back." Hanabi muttered as she stepped out into the open and looked at the man who still had a fair amount of bandages on him. "One-sama is looking for you you know."

"And she will continue to still look for me so long as nothing important happens, or I fuck up somewhere in the near future." The man stated factually.

"I don't think that's something you want to say out loud." Udon mumbled warily.

"Probably not."

"Sensei? Do you know where Naruto-nii is?" Konohamaru frowned. "We thought he would be back when you came."

"Not in the slightest. But I don't really care at the moment. I'm more worried about Hinata maiming the living shit out of me."

"Not much you can do about that." Moegi shivered. "Hinata-nee is scary when she's mad."

Hanabi nodded before paling. Her eyes had been activated the entire time as she was the only one that could keep track of people behind her while running full tilt. "Uhhh."

"She's coming isn't she?" Konohamaru whimpered.

The immortal grinned "Perfect. Now for all another lesson from your favorite teacher ever for all time forever. Step one. Set yourself on fire. People are less inclined to catch and or maim you if you are on fire."

"I think that's because you're doing their job for them." Hanabi deadpanned.

"When it comes to these guys, it's probably only step one." Konohamaru matched Hanabi's expression with gusto.

"How are you going to do that?" Udon slowly backed away from the man.

In response, Ghost lightly kicked his sister's side and was instantly set ablaze. "Yeah, we don't know how she did it, but she literally does that instinctually to anyone in the family now even if she's knocked out. It happens the most with Waltz for some reason."

"… Oooookkkkkk." Hanabi took several more steps away. "Shouldn't that, you know, hurt?"

"Yes." The man simply stated as if talking about the weather. "But I'm used to it."

"You're used to being set on fire." Moegi stated flatly.

"It's an acquired taste."

"She's almost here." Hanabi's activated eyes throbbed slightly faster to match her accelerating heartbeat. Deep down she knew that her sister wasn't coming for her in particular, but being anywhere near Hinata when she was irritated was all in all a very unpleasant experience.

"Step two. Give the person you're running away from something to focus on while you escape." Ghost lectured factually.

"How are you going to do that?"

The insane (and still very much on fire) man grinned savagely and simply pointed up.

The children, against their better judgment looked in the general direction of the finger…

And saw twenty plastic cows covered in explosive tags hanging from the trees above them.

"Oh fuck." Konohamaru's eyes widened in sheer terror.

"Mommy." Udon wept.

"Why didn't we see this coming? Why?" Moegi whimpered to herself, clearly traumatized if her suddenly ghost pale complexion was anything to go by.

"Stop crying!" Hanabi panicked as she returned back to reality and turned to the others. "We have to ru-!" She winced as she tried to move, only to see that there was a thick black cord tying her and her friends to the still downed Shadow Oogakari…

… She also noticed that Ghost had disappeared and another one of his exploding cows was standing in his place.

"Kakakakakakakakaka!" Shadow gleefully and insanely laughed with her still partially collapsed throat.

"She's trying to take us with her!" Konohamaru roared as he raced towards his captor. "Another acceptable loss for our survival!"

Wasting no time trying to figure out what their foolish sometimes leader was doing, the fresh genin followed him towards the giggling woman and mimicked his actions.

"Kakakaka…ka?" Shadow's laughter came to a brief halt as she realized that the children that she was going to take down with her were now using her as a human meat riot shield with the intended victims to her back and her front to the soon to be blasting bovines. "Fukaka-!"

BOOM!

Hinata and Shino landed at ground zero to see the last of the devastation clear up. Using their respective abilities, they tried to locate their intended target, only to be distracted by a more immediate situation. At the edge of the impressively large crater they found the survivors all looking like they had just come out of an intense battle, with Shadow apparently fighting a war instead given by how badly she and her clothes were torn up.

Neither of the elder teens could have determined what the unconscious and foaming at the mouth woman was wearing before the bomb blasted now.

"Hanabi, are you all right?" Hinata rushed towards her sister and immediately began to apply first aid.

"Sister?" The girl whimpered. "The cows. We forgot… the cows!"

"They were everywhere above us… like black and white plastic messengers of death." Udon shivered. If the look in his eyes were anything to go by, he would be in a funk for a while. "They kept on staring at us with those blank eyes. They had no souls. They had no souuuuls."

"I see that sensei has yet to give up on his bad habits." Shino shook his head and began to help out treat Konohamaru's burns. He had medical jutsu training like everyone else in his age group, but it wasn't his specialty. The best he could do was treat minor burns and reset bones and small stuff of that nature. The rest he would leave in the hands of an expert.

"We will have to talk to him about that when we finally catch him then." The heiress sighed as she closed a particularly big scratch on her sister's arm. She'd focus on the kids first. Shadow would probably be fine even if Hinata didn't do anything about her injuries. "This was most likely a diversion to buy him time to hide again."

"Crude as it may be, one cannot deny that it worked." The Aburame mused.

"As much as I dislike agreeing, given my sister was an unwilling part of this, I must agree with you Shino." Hinata moved onto Udon, who was on the borderline of having a massive panic attack. "That won't prevent me from bringing it up when I do get sensei though."

"No doubt." Her friend nodded. Even though he pitied the children in front of him, Shino couldn't help but feel nostalgic about the scene in front of him. How often did his teachers come to the aid of his team after Ghost went on one of his infamous rampant exploding cow runs?

Come to think of it, how would they fair now if stuck in one? Everyone in his age group had grown and developed significantly to the point that such level of explosives were more than manageable through one method of adaptation or another. Then again, Ghost's level of unpredictable ingenuity, sadism, and genius was something that could not be underestimated. The man's sense of timing was once defined by Scabbard as "perfect" when he bothered to put effort into something.

Given how vague the family could be at times, it could be interpreted as many ways, so many of them just concluded that "perfect" meant "perfect for fucking something up in one way or another". It seemed to match the Oogakari's motif well enough.

If there was anyone outside the family that could understand it the best, it was Naruto. And log knows what he was doing at the moment. Probably doing something irrational again knowing him. That or dealing with another situation…

o. o. o.

Moon Country:

"I'm somewhat surprised it's taken us this long to find him." Haku mused as she followed the odd combination of Kurama, Karenbana, and Michiru up one of the mountains that made up the bulk of the island.

"Find him?" Zabuza snorted. "We've been able to tell where he was for the past two days. It's just that he's made it near impossible to get close. Any sensor type that got in that damn area he's set up goes nuts with sensory overload and anyone else just gets lost before popping up near the bottom again."

The swordsman was not stretching the truth in the slightest. Even those who were only barely chakra sensitive could tell that something funky was happening in the otherwise calm and silent mountains where they were travelling. The only the problem was that once people got within a certain range the sensation became too much to determine where the source was coming from and they tended to have a habit of hallucinating if they stayed inside the area for too long. No one knew if it was a genjutsu that got stronger the longer the victim was inside the area, or if it was just some sort of contained chemical that Naruto had let loose, but whatever it was, it soon became apparent that the blonde didn't want any interruptions…

… Well, that was until Zabuza and Haku spotted Hikairu, Karenbana, and Kurama returning from sneaking food to where the source of their headaches was staying the day before. The moment they started approaching the oppressive feeling that was there before seemed to go away.

Kurama snorted. "It was rather amusing to see that obnoxious human with the eyepatch being carried back foaming at the mouth and whimpering like a kit out of the womb."

"I don't think any of us didn't enjoy that." Karenbana smirked. "The prick has been nothing but a pain in the ass ever since he got here. If he just did his job that would be fine, but he just wouldn't stop with that "I'm better than you" shit."

"Why do you think Mei keeps on threatening to kill him?" Haku smiled.

"Actually I heard the original reason was because before I came around she was trying and failing to get hitched." Zabuza failed at hiding his amusement. "Every time the idiot opened his mouth, she kept on misinterpreting what he said as some sort of reference to her single status."

"Why is that?" Hikairu asked as he jumped from tree to tree. He had only just gotten used to travelling like this since he couldn't practice that often with Karenbana. Still it didn't help that he was slowing everyone down a bit. "She's the Mizukage right? Shouldn't she know better?"

"Aww. Isn't my boss adorable?" Karenbana swooned fakely. Normally she couldn't get away with mocking him so openly, but she wasn't in the public eye so all bets were off, not that the prince minded. He found her blunt personality a breath of fresh air when compared to the standard atmosphere he was in. "So young and completely oblivious."

"Kid. If you ever learn anything before hitting puberty know this. Women are crazy and they will fuck your shit up if they think you've wronged them, even if they were the ones they were wrong." Zabuza deadpanned, not at all bothering with the glares that Haku and Karenbana were giving him.

"I'd say the same about your species as a whole… however only a handful of you are even close to being capable of bothering me." Kurama yawned.

"Don't tempt me to test out that theory furball." Zabuza snorted.

"Hikairu-dono. I didn't bother to ask yesterday due to your duties, but how was Naruto when you saw him?" Haku asked curiously, partially out of concern and partially so she knew how much she could hurt him and get away with it when she saw him. "Kurama-sama has not exactly been the most forthcoming when I questioned him."

"Obviously good enough to place a genjutsu over a three mile radius." Karenbana snorted. Technically speaking the illusion here wasn't anything special compared to the sheer scale of the damn thing. To pull something like that off without a physical medium that she was aware of for so long was unheard of in her experience.

"He seemed to be ok." The prince shrugged. "We talked for a bit, but he was more focused on getting better again. He was complaining a lot about his body the first time we brought food over, but by the second time he seemed to be almost better. I saw him doing a lot of stretches and stances, only to stop when he felt something he didn't like. He had a bunch of clones out, but they were just sitting all over the place meditating. It was pretty boring actually. I was surprised that he was that quiet. After what I've seen him do, I thought that he would have, I don't know, blown up the mountain by now."

Zabuza and Haku tensed up and looked around frantically for a good minute before they hesitantly relaxed their guard. "Kid! Never tempt fate like that again when it comes to him! I thought you spent months with him around! You should know better by now! If you do that again I'll-!"

Haku grabbed her father figure's ear and pulled him back with practiced ease and smiled at the prince with a kind albeit ominous aura. "I believe he got the message across, correct Michiru-dono?"

"Y-yes." The prince shivered. "I'll be good Haku-sama."

"Oi! I've been trying to get you to call me that for years when I train you but she gets it without any effort?" Karenbana frowned.

"She's scarier than you Sensei." The prince shrugged.

"Well at least we know he's smarter than your standard noble." Zabuza snorted while rubbing his released ear.

"That's not saying much." The fox looked up the climb they were currently on. It was almost three fourths up this particular mountain, but more importantly he could feel the crosswinds at this elevation. He knew this was where Naruto was. Whenever he was allowed to pick his training spot after a while, he tended to go for the areas with the greatest (albeit reasonable) crosswinds to expand his sensor technique's reach. "We're almost there."

Seconds later, the five had landed on the small unimpressive outcropping on the mountain nearly twenty meters in any direction to see where Naruto had been hiding for the past three days.

The first thing that caught their attention was that there was, surprise surprise, a bunch of clones spread all over the place. Around the borders of the area there was a clone every five or so meters meditating silently in the lotus position, hovering a meter or so off the ground and blissfully ignorant of the world.

Around the inside edge of the borders made by those silent clones, there were a slew of other clones that were paired up and going through various stances against one another. From what Zabuza could see, there were at least six or seven different styles being practiced, but he wasn't a martial artist as he was a very skilled and experienced fighter so he couldn't be sure of that number. He did recognize a pair or two going over some jyuken though.

What Haku noticed though was that on occasion one or two of the pairs would stop in the middle of a stance or two and then test out that section again as if to make sure that whatever they thought was off was really there before seemingly making a note of it and then dispelling one of themselves before the remaining one made another clone and resumed the procedure.

Inside the ring of taijutsu practitioners, another ring of clones appeared to be practicing playing with the air itself. One was making a handful of stones float and move in a series of patterns while another was making a trail of leaves weave in and out around him with ease. Karenbana took note of one that was making simple kanji in mid air with dust that he was kicking up.

All in all, there appeared to be roughly a hundred or so clones training, a vastly smaller number of them compared to what Haku and Zabuza had seen the teen use for training before, but still a very impressive number.

What made this different though was that each and every blonde there was blindfolded with a simple white cloth over their eyes. The meditators, the ninjutsu users, and the taijutsu users were all completely cut off visually from the outside world, and yet it did not seem to impede them in the slightest.

Still the new arrivals focused on these facts for only a few moments as their attention was on the Naruto in the middle of the group, as he was doing something that instantly identified him as the real deal.

Like the others he was blindfolded. Instead of being dressed in his normal clothing though, Naruto Uzumaki was dressed in nothing but a set of loose blue sweat pants taped off at his ankles, exposing his surprisingly muscular and defined upper torso and feet to the world as he did hand stand pushups on the tips of all ten of his fingers and facing away from the new arrivals. While he wasn't overly ripped, he was certainly more buff and cut than he was before he left. His entire body was covered in sweat if the shine off of it was any indication, but what really made it interesting was the myriad of scars that were on his body.

It wasn't disfiguring or off putting to be honest, but the group was fairly surprised at the number of thin cuts and round circular holes that covered his body. Given that he had an insane regenerative factor thanks to the fox and his heritage, most would have assumed that he simply didn't scar, or that it would take something exceptional to leave a permanent mark.

What really caught the more experienced fighters' attention though, was that starting from his neck up (or down in this case), Naruto's skin actually took a slightly paler shade from the rest of his body, as if the skin on his head was actually one giant scar and no one noticed it simply due to its uniformity and the fact that his skin was still relatively tanned.

"Hey guys. I was wondering when you'd get here." The original grunted as he continued to do his pushups. "I'm still in the middle of my set so make yourself at home, or just you know, sit wherever."

Zabuza found his voice first as they approached him. "Only a hundred or so clones kid? You're slacking."

"Hey I'm just getting myself back in shape." The fellow jinchuriki laughed with some strain as he did another pushup. "The clones are just doing a few chakra exercises and seeing what kinks are left in my body while I work out and stretch constantly. Honestly it felt like someone put me in a near death state when I woke up."

Haku pretended not to remember the fact that she had on multiple occasions put him under such a state before he left for one reason or another. Partially out of guilt. Partially because she was admiring her longtime friend's body as it went up and down.

She had no romantic interests in him in the slightest, but a girl had just as much right to some eye candy of the opposite sex as males did to their female counterparts, and recently the only males that she had spent time around were Zabuza, who was like her father, the seven swordsmen trainees, who she were like annoying little siblings, and Ao… 'nuff said.

"Kid's crazy but damn if he doesn't take care of himself." Karenbana muttered to herself as she too eyed the teen with a somewhat hungry look.

"Ignoring the fact that unlike him, I am both fully grown AND not insane…" Zabuza coughed loudly. "Care to tell us how you managed to get out of the castle so fast?"

"Made high pressure balls of air with my mouth while I was struggling." The blonde grunted before he pushed himself up. "Made them go off in the ANBU's ears at once and cushioned their falls so that no one heard or felt anything." He breathed out heavily again as he rose. "Chakra blades through my talons, which you forgot to take off of me while I was unconscious."

"Your big mouth came in handy for something after all. Who knew?" The eldest human there shook his head in disbelief.

"Wait… how did you do all of that without Ao noticing?" Haku snapped herself out of staring as she processed what Naruto had just said.

"Flooded the room with the seventh sense." The escapee breathed out heavily, several drops of sweat fell from his head. "I can mask myself and minor techniques from them once the concentration gets to a certain point." He was struggling to push himself up now. "It's part of how I was able to sneak behind that had Koyuki earlier without getting noticed."

"Every time you pull something stealthy like this off, I have to remind myself that you're actually good at it." Haku sighed with a tired smile.

"So how long did it take for you two to figure out that Hikairu and Karenbana were sneaking me food?" Naruto chuckled. It looked like he was nearing the end of his workout.

"By around lunch time of the day after you left." Zabuza shrugged. "Only you would make a member of the royal family an accomplice if you could, and the kid idolizes you."

"No I don't." Hikairu pouted with a blush.

"I really need to teach you how to lie better." Karenbana sighed.

"Karenbana, you should know better." Haku chided the elder female. "Royals do not lie. They merely omit or bend the truth for beneficial outcomes."

"And to think I wondered why mother didn't want you to teach me in some shinobi arts." The young boy muttered more to himself than anyone.

"Please kid. Your tutors in the castle are just as bad. We're just up front about bullshit like that and admit that its wrong. We also don't care about admitting the fact that it's wrong." Zabuza snorted. "Oi brat. How much longer?"

"Just. Ungh. About. Mmm. Done!" With a last push up, the blonde powerhouse launched himself about half a dozen meters into the air where he flipped several times before landing lightly in a crouch facing everyone.

Standing up straight everyone had a perfect view of the blonde's physique and they were impressed. Just like with his back, his front was both very defined, and very scarred. In fact it reminded Zabuza of how he was built. Very powerful, but not overly so to allow maximum flexibility. Again they could see where the skin on his body stopped and the paler scarred skin of his head started.

Karenbana whistled, clearly impressed. "Not bad kid. Not bad at all."

Naruto looked at the woman and looked at her for a few moments before tilting his head to the side confused. "… Who are you and why is a kid your age looking at me like a piece of meat?"

And like that the moment was broken.

"You couldn't just let the moment last could you?" Haku sighed and shook her head as the other female there found herself stuck between being stunned and contemplating murder. "Oh well. Not my problem in the end."

"Naruto." Hikairu sighed. "She's my teacher remember? She's been helping me bring the food every time I come here?"

"Oh. Right." The time traveler laughed sheepishly. "Sorry. I was kinda focused in my training for the past few days and wasn't paying that much attention. I've been running on three hours of sleep a day, and that was only with naps."

"Heh. Never thought you'd be able to take things seriously without someone whipping you." Zabuza grinned.

"You'd be surprised what one can learn under the gaze of a morally deprived man who thrives under both ends of the whip and the equally disturbed people he knows for extended periods of time." The teen stated soullessly. "You'd also be surprised what habits one can develop in order to avoid encountering more individuals of such nature."

"Oh I can imagine such situations pretty well. No need to go into detail." The masked swordsman muttered, recalling of his time working for Scabbard. "Oi, when are you going to take off the blindfold? You look dumb enough as it is most of the time. You don't have to give it a new twist to get the point across."

"Oh! Right! I still have it on. Sorry." Without so much as twitching, the blindfold was cut by some invisible blade and fell off Naruto's head, revealing his slit blue eyes to the world. He then winced and then began to rub said eyes. "Ugh. I keep on forgetting how annoying it gets when I forget to take the blindfolds off for several days. Stupid light and its shiny brightness in my ocular organs."

"Well if we needed any more proof that it was him before." Haku sighed. Only Naruto would use such mixed immature speaking patterns to describe pain that he had inflicted on himself… well only him and the Oogakari at least.

"How is he able to tell where everything is when he was blindfolded?" Hikairu wondered out loud.

"Practice. Lots of chakra. A wind element. And an insane teacher that you don't want anything to do with." Haku sighed.

"So I have a bunch of clones cooking over there." Naruto tilted his head over to a spot a bit higher on the mountain. "I've been eating a ton of food lately but I can cut back a bit now. I'm pretty much done with my training."

"Please don't tell me that the clones doing the cooking are blindfolded." Zabuza growled at the blonde.

"Ok." The guilty party shrugged as he walked towards where said food was being made.

"You have no one else to blame but yourself." Haku sighed as she walked past the man hitting himself in the head repeatedly.

"So when's the signing for that trade deal thing?" Naruto asked as he wiped his cramped hands on his pants. Doing two hundred pushups with his resistance seals up always numbed them for a good hour or two, but he wasn't bad enough for him to not eat with.

"Tonight." Karenbana replied with a hint of dryness. "The Mizukage was starting to lose patience when it came to trying to contact you in time. She's sent that Ao guy to try and find you like five times."

"Huh." The blonde mused. "I was wondering who that poor idiot that kept trying to get in was. Hope he's all right. Repeated exposure to my genjutsu tends to have people hallucinate something fierce for a while."

"Keheheheheheh." Kurama laughed maliciously, remembering the sensor screaming something incomprehensible about his mother.

"I'm more surprised that you can actually pull off genjutsu." Haku smiled.

"And the world quaked in fear that such a thing has come to pass." Zabuza droned.

"We came to get you back in time." Hikairu got back onto topic.

"Best you hurry up. Mei-sama is not pleasant if her patience is tested." The ice user advised. "… She's an acid user."

"Noted, and I am now contemplating of a way to lock Ero-Ni in a room alone with her."

"I would be angry with what you said if I didn't know what the outcome of that would be, and so I approve of it and will gladly support your endeavors." The boyfriend of said acid user stated officially.

"Do I want to know what they are talking about?" Karenbana looked at the prince.

The youngest one there shrugged. "Probably not. I remember when I was travelling with him that whenever he got like this the ninja with him tended to filter out all the stuff that sounded funny."

"Sound's easier than it probably is." The genjutsu user grumbled.

"You have no idea." Kurama deadpanned from behind her.

The short woman glared at the fox. She had yet to forget that the real reason why she had helped the prince sneak food to Naruto was because it and Naruto had found out about her chakra armor and thus figured out that she was the one responsible for the whole fiasco in the first place.

Instead of tearing her apart though, they had simply blackmailed the living shit out of her and thus became her unofficial second bosses. They didn't ask anything too outlandish out of her yet, but she was still pissed off at being another fool's stooge.

Her mental complaining was interrupted as the aroma of surprisingly well cooked field food met her nose.

Huh. Apparently the kid could cook well blindfolded. Who knew?

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"I should have known that this would have been the fastest way to get you, Sensei." Hinata sighed dryly as she looked at Ghost.

The subject of her ire was tied up and hanging from a tree just a short distance away from one of the local hot springs. The man had been caught up in one of the traps set up for perverts (Jiraiya) that tried to spy on the women while they bathe.

"Murph!" The immortal flailed about wildly like a fish in a vain attempt to escape his binds, screaming through the gag over his mouth.

"Shikamaru probably would have thought of this in a minute if he had to find Sensei." Choji had just gotten back that morning and was talking to Hinata when word of Ghost's capture reached her ears. "Kinda surprised we didn't."

It was a well known fact that while the Oogakari were among the most powerful individuals in the village physically, they had a peculiar habit of acting and behaving far weaker than they were if they were acting out and deserved retribution from another party. Many other shinobi tended to do this as well, but never to the extremes that the mercenary clan did.

Now was a perfect example. All the teens there knew for a fact that Ghost was more than capable of escaping from his binds, or even avoiding the trap in the first place, yet here he was tied up and caught in front of them due to his apparent stupidity.

"I did, however it's forbidden for Hyuga to use their bloodlines near bathhouses for obvious reasons." Hinata shook her head, recalling the more often than not unspoken story behind this particular rule involving a rather independent branch house member in the middle of puberty.

It was a rather amusing story to hear… until the end when the elders at the time executed the poor boy for staining the family name. It wasn't until later that Tobirama Senju put an end to allowing clans to execute members of their own for such minor slights on the pretext of needing the potential manpower, which was technically true since the second war was brewing up at the time.

"Yeah. Neji told me the same thing once when we were on a mission." Tenten mused. "Never told me why though. Probably just too embarrassed to think about it."

"How do you wish to proceed with this Hinata?" Shino asked. "Should we drop our guard, Sensei will no doubt escape."

All the teens ignored the trapped man nodding his head frantically, silently urging them to do just that.

"I was hoping that you would manage that Shino." Hinata smiled pleasantly, causing shivers all around. "No doubt it would be quite difficult for sensei to get rid of your insects when they are in his clothes and hair than it would to get away from us."

"Muph! Muh muh humph!" The blind man thrashed around twice as violently at the girl's suggestion.

"We got a live one here don't we?" Tenten grinned.

"I have a hunger for seafood now." Choji mumbled. "Hey does anyone want sushi after this?"

"Sorry, however I'm not hungry at the moment." Shino muttered as his insects covered the now terrified man. "My insects will not bite unless I tell them too Sensei. On the other hand, if you keep moving like that I cannot ensure that to be true."

"Mmmm." The immortal whimpered. He hated getting taken down by tons of minor injuries. Death by a thousand paper cuts, army ants, and just plain old getting eaten alive, was a lot more painful than people realized and he had little doubt that heavy injury via ten thousand bugs would hurt much less.

He was suicidal sure, but that sure as hell didn't mean he LIKED getting hurt every time he tried something new… playing with Hana and Anko being a varying exception to that rule.

"Now then." Hinata reached forward and took the gag off of the man's mouth. "I believe you owe us an explanation Sensei."

"You're all… so mean." The childish man wept. "I thought that Waltz would have made sure to keep you away from Shadow for extended periods of time while I was gone."

"Well he failed to do the same for my sister apparently." Hinata frowned accusingly.

"Yeah we kinda lost our pity for your family over the years Sensei." Tenten shrugged without remorse. "Plus odds are you did something to deserve it anyways."

"Yes but that's too ambiguous of a reason." The man frowned. "I expected a better excuse from Scab's latest project. Shame on you."

"Sensei." Hinata spoke up. "Naruto isn't in Myobokuzan is he?" The way she said it all but told everyone that she didn't believe the cover story.

"Sure he is." Ghost's pleasant tone wasn't fooling anyone. "Why wouldn't he be with the toads and catching up with them and giving you a credible reason not to maim me?"

"Because he's complained that the food he has to eat there gives him nightmares almost as bad as the ones made from training with you. If he wanted to have a long vacation, he wouldn't be there." Choji shrugged, causing everyone to look at him funny. "What? We were talking about the weirdest and worst food we had to eat. For me it was raw cow brains."

"Ok. First. Ew." Tenten shivered. "Second. If Naruto's not with them, then where is he?"

"He could be at, you know, the library." Hinata mused, thinking of the hidden base that the Oogakari build that had some of Orochimaru's men guarding it.

Ghost personally hoped that wasn't the case. Naruto had more self control than he let on so he wasn't worried about the place going up in flames, but even so he wouldn't want to risk the idiot revealing the place accidentally. "… Maybe." He tilted his head to the side as if to look away and appear to be lying poorly.

"Naruto wouldn't be at the library." Shino frowned. "Why? Because if he was there it would be for research or training. Both are things he would not be doing if he would have returned from his long training trip."

"He has a point." Ghost nodded his head in agreement of Shino's assessment.

"You're not helping your situation you know." Tenten leered at the man.

"No I am not."

"Sensei." Hinata smiled in an all too familiar way to everyone who has seen a cultured yandere get pushed to the brink. "I don't know if you've heard yet, but lately I've been experimenting with a combination of jyuken and healing ninjutsu. I've made some significant discoveries as a result, however it is rather difficult to get permission to perform some procedures that are more… invasive."

Everyone began to sweat at the normally kind girl's statement.

"He made me open a scroll and crushed me with two tons of General Tao's chicken and ran away while I was crying like a small helpless child." Ghost sang like a bird. "I was unclean for over a week and in dire need of a hug which I have yet to receive! … Preferably not from Gai or Lee!"

"That fast?!" Tenten shouted in disbelief.

"I get experimented on enough by Scab damn you! I'm not being a test subject for another psycho!" The man snapped.

Choji and Shino wisely held their tongues. They really had nothing to say about the man's excuse.

"So what you are saying is that Naruto is out there by himself and he didn't come back here?" Hinata asked slowly, her calm exterior giving way to worry, concern, and a hint of depression. "Why?"

"Stress relief. Curiosity. Desire to go exploring. Desire to spend long periods of time away from me and the chaos that I have sewn and any other potential sources of similar brands of chaos that are not spawned by his existence in particular. Take your pick." The man shrugged. He had only vaguely gone over the fact that he might have gone overboard with the blonde's training, but he sure as hell wasn't going to admit it to his clearly overprotective girlfriend.

"He wanted to get away so much that he didn't care about not seeing us?" Choji frowned as he munched on another potato chip.

"No. More like his desire to do so had higher priority to him than the latter." Shino observed. "Reckless, but it's not unlike him to do something of the like."

"Tsunade-sama probably knows by now, otherwise Sensei would still be tied up in the hospital." Choji mused. "She gets just as concerned about Naruto as the rest of us if he's doing something dangerous."

"It's that dangerous thing that has me bugged." Tenten sighed. "Who knows how many cluster-fucks he's going to get involved with by the time he gets back?"

"If it helps, he was there when Akatsuki attacked Gaara." Ghost spoke up catching their attention. "And believe it or not, the only person who knew he was there was the Kazekage, and that was after everything settled down. I DID bother to teach him discretion and stealth among other useful and productive skills while we were gone you know."

"Which means it will be even harder to keep track of him or pin him down." Shino frowned. "I loathe admitting it, but unless we hear otherwise, it might be best to simply wait for him…"

"I suppose so." Hinata mused before turning to look at Ghost again. "Of course Sensei, since he was your responsibility, one would expect you to make up for this mistake."

Instead of the quivering and crying man-child that had been there before, a calm adult with a dry smile was looking at her directly in the face without a hint of fear. "Not going to happen. Naruto made his choice and he's responsible for his decisions now."

"That's a bit cold." Tenten crossed her arms. "Just leaving him out to the wolves like that by himself? What if he gets hurt?"

Ghost's dry chuckle caused the teens to be slightly uncomfortable. "Girl, the way he is now you should feel more concerned for the wolves. There's a reason why I'm not concerned about the minion."

"Which is why I'm concerned." Hinata walked forward and looked at Ghost through his sunglasses. They all knew he was blind as could be, and yet he still reacted to such gestures as naturally as anyone else. "Sensei. Tell us the truth. Why doesn't he want to come home yet? Wasn't three years enough? Did he do something wrong?"

"No… well yes, but he often got the shit kicked out of him for when he did those." Ghost shrugged, however his demeanor was slightly less energetic now. "It's not a matter of what he has done as it is what he realizes he has become."

"What he's become?" Choji didn't like the sound of that. "Don't tell me he's actually gone off the deep end and is like you now."

"Mmm. No that's not it per say…" The immortal tilted his head as if looking for the right way to say what came next. "But… ah. I got a good way for you to find out."

"Really? Do tell." Tenten frowned.

"It's a pretty simple experiment. The next time you see Naruto, see how long it takes for him to be comfortable being physically close to any of you."

o. o. o.

Moon Country:

Chojuro's body flew through the air before landing hard on the ground flat in front of the Mizukage, Haku, and Zabuza. Despite gasping for breath and the having the beginning of a rather nice bruise on his cheek, he had not let go of his precious sword.

It was one of the first things hammered into him when he had begun his sword training. You lost your blade? You lost your life.

"Owch." Suigetsu winced as he tried to gauge just how badly his friend just got his ass kicked while Haku tended to his injuries. "Didn't even last ten seconds."

"Told ya." Zabuza shrugged next to a rather disappointed Mei as they watched Naruto briefly shadowbox on the beach before relaxing his stance. "Chojuro's made progress, but the nut in front of us is made of different stuff. Stuff that I honestly don't even want to understand."

"Hey is he ok?" Naruto asked. "I didn't overdo it did I?"

"Nah. I've done worse." Zabuza shook his head. "Gonna do worse to him too when we get back for getting destroyed so damn fast." He turned his head to Suigetsu. "Water boy. You're up. Taijutsu and enhancement techniques only."

"Yeah yeah. Not like he can actually hurt me." Suigetsu yawned as he walked forward, wielding the twin Kiba blades in each arm and making them spark every half second.

It was the day after the signing of the trading deal, and as Mei predicted Naruto's presence seemed to be a major hit with the locals and those that came from Spring Country. The feast following the speeches and everything was as lively as one could be while still remaining in essence a formal political gathering.

Wine, music, and food were a-plenty for everyone as the travelling circus from before entertained everyone, and there was much laughing to be heard, especially where perpetually smiling and joking Naruto was. The blonde was surprisingly well behaved for those that didn't know him that well. While he was still carefree and a tad bit obnoxious, his tongue was surprisingly well tamed and at no point did he even risk causing any confrontations from breaking out, even with the more annoying guests and nobles there.

It did nothing however from preventing the more experienced shinobi there from picking up a few quirks. Namely that the teen seemed to always try to be at least arm's length away from everyone whenever possible, and he was constantly keeping a wary eye out for what they could only assume was potential danger. Even those that he was familiar with were not exempted from this behavior which was a bit surprising for those who knew him.

True being in the middle of a crowded enclosed space filled with strangers would put most experienced shinobi on edge, but what the blonde had displayed was just short of perfectly controlled paranoia.

The next day Mei had suggested that Naruto get a little light training done by sparring with some of her men, if only to satisfy her curiosity about him and to put down her doubts of his S rank classification. The latter comment obviously hit home as the jinchuriki instantly agreed.

Thus the bulk of Mei's men and the Daimyo of Spring and Moon watched from a good distance on the beach as the Feral Gale "lightly" beat the living daylights out of two ANBU and now one of next generation of Seven Swordsmen.

Kurama on the other hand was simply sleeping in the shade by the edge of the beach. His claim that he had no interest in his container destroying weaklings was not taken too well, so his presence was not missed by most.

Naruto wasn't blindingly fast or overwhelmingly strong, though he certainly was both, and his technique was not outlandish or out of this world… but his style itself seemed to just match and flow around whatever was thrown at him. In one fight he fought in one particular pattern, and in the next it seemed to shift into something else but still keeping bits and pieces of the previous style.

It didn't take much to assume that he was mixing up various forms of martial arts together and had learned from different people.

It was particularly apparent to others when he absolutely wailed upon the second ANBU like a freight train screaming "APAPAPAPAPAPAPA!" like a crazed maniac.

Hikairu could have sworn that his eyes were shining like floodlights while he was doing it too.

"Are you willing to bet that Suigetsu lasts as long as the others?" Mei smirked, knowing that the Hozuki's body made him nearly invincible to standard fighting tactics and taijutsu.

"Hmm." Zabuza mused as he watched the boy lazily swing his blades while getting into position before slightly augmenting his body to move and hit harder. "Yeah. Sure. Why not?"

Ao frowned. "With all due respect Zabuza, I can't understand your logic. With Suigetsu's power and the rules stating only taijutsu or augmentation jutsu, I don't understand how Uzumaki can prevail, let alone so quickly."

"With all due respect Ao, shut the fuck up and watch." The bigger male snorted as the two got ready to move. "Logic doesn't tend to work when this one is around."

"Sorry kid, but even Zabuza can't handle me unless he uses his sword's abilities." Suigetsu moved first, kicking up a good deal of sand as he bolted forward with his swords to his sides, ready to strike once within range…

… And instantly whipped up to cross block the extended large blade of wind extending from the blonde's right arm from cutting him vertically in half. The blow itself was not overwhelming, however given how the chakra blade itself was made to be twice as wide as Kubikirihochou and so visible that it had its own wind like pattern on the flat of the damn thing, he wasn't going to take any chances.

Which was what Naruto had been banking on, as an instant later he had canceled out the blade, used his other arm to punch away from his opponent, causing an explosion of air to erupt from his fist and launch him towards his target, who still had his blades still up above his head, covering the distance between them before he could properly react, and punched him hard in the face…

Or he would have if his target didn't dissolve into water and simply let the blonde simply pass through him.

"Heh. That was a nice trick and it probably would have worked on anyone else, but I'm a bit different kid." Suigetsu smirked as his jelly like head reformed behind Naruto, ready to begin his counterattack.

"I thought as much." Naruto mused as he turned around and deflected the twin swords with his talons without so much as a flinch. The sharpest swords in the world they might be, but they still were nowhere near enough to get past his overpowered wind chakra blades. "He's like those logia powered guys I met with Ero-nii, and if that's true then the best way to deal with them is probably…"

The two danced around one another for a few more seconds, clashing lightning and wind savagely against one another before Naruto acted again. Timing it so that he greatly expanded the chakra blades on his arms while defending, he threw off Suigetsu' s tempo and left him wide open for another easy blow.

"I told you it's pointleHEAH!?" The strongest of the next generation coughed out phlegm as his opponent suddenly gave off an aura not unlike an approaching massive storm, and embedded his fist into the now solid Hozuki's stomach.

Then, just like with Chojuro, a small pocket of pressurized air hidden in the fur around Naruto's knuckles ruptured, blasting the water user back a good twenty feet before crashing into a heap in front of his boss and teacher.

"I don't care if she's weaker than me and still kicked my ass the first time we met. Thank you Yang for teaching me of a new way to be even more awesome." The jinchuriki grinned darkly while silently glad that his assumption that his comparison of Logia powers to Suigetsu's jutsu was the same as Haki to Presence.

Technically Haki was a branch form of Presence, but that still didn't change the fact that Naruto was pretty much doing guesswork at the time.

The time traveler never did know much about Suigetsu in either world and didn't hold that much of a grudge against him even after he helped bring the end of the world, but that still didn't prevent the time traveler from absolutely destroying his ass when finally given the chance.

"Wow!" Michiru clapped childishly as Hikairu sat down with Cham the tiger and Kiki the monkey, the circus animals he had befriended when he was travelling with Naruto when they first met. "That was amazing. I never knew that shinobi could actually turn into water like that, but to even stop that from happening is just as impressive!"

"Hoh?" Zabuza mused, not at all bothering to pay attention to every Kiri shinobi's reactions to how Suigetsu was beaten. "That was interesting. I didn't know that you could use Presence to do stuff like that. That'll certainly save me some time and effort if I need to put water boy in his place in the future."

"H-how?" Ao blinked in disbelief. "Suigetsu's technique should have…"

"As much as it will stroke his ego, I must point out that he is S ranked for a reason." Haku sighed as she got back up. "Zabuza and I tend to put him down a bit, but we have never disagreed with that labeling itself."

"Be that as it may, even I must admit that to put down Suigetsu so quickly with just taijutsu and supplementary ninjutsu is not a normal feat." Mei pointed out, giving him a look that challenged him to match such a thing. "The Hozuki clan jutsu were part of what made the Nidaime Mizukage such a fearsome force on the battlefield. It should not be so easy to get around such a defense."

"Yeah, but I already figured out what he did." The male half of the pair smirked. "All things considered, it's not all that special. Kinda disappointed I didn't figure it out myself to be honest."

"What the hell hit me?" The recent casualty coughed loudly. "Ugh… man my gut. Don't think its ever hurt this bad before."

"Looks like we found a way to finally train his physical pain tolerance." Haku lightly smirked. It was common knowledge that Hozuki tend to not deal with pain well due to the fact that not much could actually hurt them outside of certain techniques or if someone slapped a seal on them that prevented them from turning into water. The fact that Haku and Zabuza now had a more efficient way to deal with the idiot without turning him to ice or sealing him into Kubikirihochou was like music to their ears.

"Hey uh… so are we done?" Naruto asked as he walked over to the Mizukage, not having a single scratch on him despite fighting what were considered members of the upper tier of her forces. To have them defeated so quickly was nothing short of embarrassing for the woman. The boy was considered an S rank, but she would have thought that her men would last a bit longer than this.

"Already?" Hikairu moaned from the sidelines. "But you just started!"

"Hey come on. We were just doing a little sparring Hikairu." Naruto laughed and apologized to the prince. "If we did bigger fights they'd probably last longer, but they'd probably put you in danger too. That's why we were only doing the close range stuff. Plus a lot of our bigger moves are supposed to be secret and stuff. The best moves are the ones your enemy doesn't know you can do after all."

"If we let you fight all out here then we'd probably lose the entire island." Zabuza mentally snorted but couldn't help but agree with the prince. He had no doubt that Naruto was strong, but what he had shown wasn't nearly enough to satisfy the swordsman's nerves. The blonde was after all travelling by himself for an extended period of time. It wouldn't do if he was incapable of taking on at least two high level opponents at the same time…

"The kid's right." Karenbana lectured her student. "There's a major difference between first and second fights between shinobi. Information in many cases is more important than anything else when it comes to us. It can easily be the difference between life and death. Take for example when my old group tried to take on Crazy McNutjob's group when we first met. He hid half his team from us, and in the end it led to my team and my employer getting screwed over big time. By all means I should be six feet under right now."

"Heheh. Yeah. I barely had to do anything for that one." The accused McNutjob grinned…

CLANG!

The sound of metal smashing on something hard caught everyone's attention to the source…

Zabuza, holding Kubikirihochou in hand, in an attempt to sever Naruto in half horizontally from behind, only to be interrupted by the two massive wind chakra blades extending from the back of the teen's otherwise lazily dropped arms, and extending deep into the ground no doubt for extra support.

"You know…" The blonde jinchuriki started casually without turning around, not at all bothered that he had almost been killed by an ally. "… If you wanted to spar with me, you could have just asked, No-Brows."

"Wh-whoa." Hikairu shivered. "I didn't even see him."

"Amazing." Michiru nodded, just as in awe as his son.

Koyuki didn't say anything as she took in Naruto's behavior. She didn't spend much time with shinobi, but she had been around the blonde enough that she could read him better than others… and because of that she could tell that he was taking this more seriously than he let on. He was also showing some of his eagerness.

She was contemplating getting some distance between them. She was one of the growing number of people that were fully aware of the fact that Naruto tended to destroy things, and the many things around the initial destroyed things, whenever he got serious.

"Zabuza. That was a bit crass, even for you." Mei frowned. Judging from the sound the massive sword had made, she was certain that the man had fully intended to cut the teen in half. Even so she was also slightly impressed that the teen managed to block the attack with such little effort. Making chakra blades that big tended to wipe out the standard shinobi after a short amount of time, and making ones that could handle Zabuza's blows would take even more effort, yet the boy seemed to do it with barely a second thought.

"Hmph." The demon smirked, not letting up on the pressure behind his blade in the slightest. "Since when have I ever asked for permission to fight? If you needed that to know that I was going to attack, then you might have just handed yourself over with a pretty little bow on your head."

"Zabuza…" Mei's tone was laced with her unspoken warning.

"Ahhh. So that's how it is." Naruto's grin widened and became slightly hungrier. His childish features were slowly dissolving into something a good deal more unsettling.

Without further warning, dozens of additional chakra blades blossomed from the back of Naruto's forearms like a lotus and pierced the man behind him all over, making him bleed like water.

Almost as expected, the lethally injured assassin burst into the aforementioned liquid, exposing its identity as a water clone.

"Really?"

The blonde however was not fooled as he shuffled a few feet to the side to avoid being split in half vertically by what appeared to be the real Zabuza. The missed blow slammed into the ground hard enough to create not only a small crater, but a temporary fissure that extended a few dozen meters as well.

"Death from above on me of all people?"

The elder of the two simply continued his assault almost instantly after landing, tearing his blade through the sand and continuing his attack, kicking up a small storm of the coarse stone in the process.

The continued attack did nothing to catch the target by surprise however as he managed to jump above the swing and slashed out one of his bladed arms to cut the offender in the collarbone…

However his attack did not work as the tip of Zabuza's blade blasted out a short burst of water from its tip to push its owner just barely out of the attack's reach before steadying himself.

Normally he would not have the time to regain his footing against someone of Naruto's level, however he had more than earned it when another copy of himself shot out of the sand he had kicked up from the previous attempted attack from behind the target and instantly put him on the defensive, leaving him wide open to an attack from behind.

Without hesitation, Zabuza brought down his prized blade on the blonde's back and tore it apart…

And not even a second later the downed warrior exploded, taking both Zabuzas out with him in a massive cloud and an even bigger shockwave.

It took only two seconds from Naruto's counterattack to the explosion, the skirmish appearing to be nothing but a series of blindingly fast slashes and explosions to anyone without a good deal of experience.

"Whoa!" Hikairu shielded his eyes from the flying sand. "So fast! I barely saw what happened!"

"Tch." Karenbana grunted, not willing to admit that she had trouble following the pair's movements as well. She had always known that she didn't stand a chance against the higher level shinobi that periodically spawned from the world, but this was the first time she had actually seen people that belonged to that class duke it out. "Those two idiots better tone it down. It's not safe to push it that much when civilians are this close."

"So violent…" Amayo frowned as she brushed off the sand from her clothes, more unnerved and put off by the display that she had just seen than awed like everyone else.

"So this is how he fights when against someone his level." Koyuki mused, not at all believing that neither one of the two fighters were injured in the slightest. They appeared to know one another too well to let something so quick be a deciding battle. "No. This is how he fights when he's testing the waters with someone on his level."

Much to her expectations, moments later the large cloud of airborne sand seemed to stop in place before nearly slamming down into the beach to reveal both shinobi standing casually facing one another with amused looks on their faces and not a scratch on them.

"Pretty good work slipping in that clone." Zabuza smirked. "Almost fooled me."

"Please." Naruto laughed happily seeming to be completely relaxed. "You were expecting it. I could tell."

"Geez. What's with those two?" Suigetsu grunted. "I can't tell if they're serious or just showing off."

"They're really good." Chojuro shivered. "I couldn't even tell when they started using clones, but both of them seemed to be able to read one another's moves perfectly."

"Mmm." Ao frowned. "It just goes to show how experienced both of them are. I expected this much from Zabuza, but to see it from Uzumaki is a bit surprising. Then again they have known one another for quite some time. It may simply be due to that."

"Hey brat, you wanna go for another round?" Zabuza smirked. "Something a little more than those weak punches. It would be a bit of a buzzkill to stop now, wouldn't you agree?"

Naruto tilted his head to the side as if putting some time to think up of an answer. "Sure, but don't you think the location is a bit lacking though? Too many obstacles, so to speak."

"Obstacles?" Hikairu shivered.

"He's talking about us." Karenbana frowned.

"The ocean's right there." The man tilted his head to the side to where his home turf was. "You don't think we'd actually try this on a beach in the bay area did you?"

"It crossed my mind." The blonde shrugged casually before turning his attention to the only other person there that wasn't unsettled or irritated by the brief skirmish. "Haku? You in?"

"Heh." Suigetsu put on a shit eating grin. "I'm starting to get a bad feeling, if you guys know what I mean."

"Are you sure Naruto?" The Snow Woman smiled gently, clearly nowhere near as adverse to Naruto's unspoken suggestion as others may have assumed she would. "You might not manage it if I came along as well. I hope you're not underestimating my progress. You are not the only one who has gotten stronger over the past few years."

"Haku?! You as well?" Ao blinked in disbelief. "I thought you were more sensible than that!"

"What's going on?" Michiru asked, a bit uncomfortable with how everyone's moods were changing.

"I… I think that Naruto-san is planning on fighting both Zabuza-sensei and Haku-san at once." Chojuro swallowed heavily. "I don't think I've ever seen them take someone on at the same time before. Actually I don't think I've ever seen both of them actually agree to fight a single person at the same time."

It was a ludicrous idea for many shinobi in Kiri to think of. Zabuza and Haku were well known to be among the strongest class of shinobi, so much so that the Mizukage herself considered fighting only one of them to be a solid workout. True they were still technically Konoha shinobi, but they were just as well known in their stomping grounds if not more, than in their new legal home.

The very thought of both of them teaming up on a single person gave mixed feelings to those in the island hidden village. To those that didn't know the pair well, the images of a destroyed and mutilated corpse would fill their minds.

To those that DID know the extremely proud Zabuza who would almost never ask for help when dealing with a single person, and the kind and mature Haku who would never interrupt a battle of Zabuza's without reason, the thought of them actually bothering to team up against someone in a fight could only mean one possible thing:

Whoever they were fighting, was a genuine monster.

"I'm hurt that you would even consider that Haku." Naruto mockingly pouted. "I simply thought that you would want a more… accurate test. Two on one and all."

"Heh. As always. Can't tell if you're being cocky or just messed in the head." The assassin's grin was now practically visible through the wrappings around his mouth. "You want the furball for assurance?"

"Zabuza! Haku!" Mei apparently finally lost her patience. "Stand down now!"

"Nah." Naruto ignored the woman. "Wouldn't make a lick of difference."

Both swordsman and ice user frowned. "Now that was just rude."

"Interpret that in any way you want."

Before the Mizukage could make any further attempts to rein the three in, the spot where Naruto had seemingly exploded once more, shrouding where Naruto and Zabuza were. Only this time, a giant pillar of ice encompassed the point of impact when the debris settled instead of the two males.

The sound of metal bouncing off of something heavy in the air above the ocean, causing everyone to turn and see Naruto flying backwards away from Zabuza and holding his bladed arms in front of him, having blocked yet another certainly lethal blow from the massive sword.

However instead of crashing into the water, the teen seemed to slow down until he was hovering a few meters above the surface with a fox like grin on his face. "Well? What are you waiting for? Come on. The fight will be even once we're over the ocean."

"Whoa! He really can fly!" Michiru gasped in surprise and awe, voicing out what many of the others there were thinking. Flying after all was a very uncommon ability for a shinobi to have.

"Now you're just being cocky." Haku pouted as she casually walked towards the water, the sand and ocean beneath her feet instantly freezing and condensing with each step. "Do you really think that we require such an advantage in order to make our fight fair Naruto?"

The accused began to sway left and right as easily as if he was dancing, his confident grin not faltering in the slightest. In fact his facial features became even more intimidating as he gathered elevation and the shadow his bangs cast covered his eyes, seemingly making his slit blue eyes glow hungrily from the darkness. "Well you two are water users right? Well it's only fair you have the ocean at your disposal if I have the entire sky at mine all the time."

"… Shit." Zabuza looked up at the empty air above him as if seeing it for the first time. Only, no he seemed to realize that there was actually something there, and it was at his opponent's beck and call the entire time. "You're not kidding."

If a Hozuki in the ocean could all but wield it as if it was part of his body, then the blonde could wield the sky itself with just as much ease if not more.

He wasn't being obnoxious when he said that fighting on the ocean would make it even. He was being completely honest.

"Well?" Naruto laughed with all his teeth showing while slowly flying backwards tauntingly.

The answer he got came in the form of dozens of senbon made of ice shooting towards him. In the second and a half it took the projectiles to get to him, the blonde realized that the needles were surprisingly heavy and with their narrow bodies would be extremely difficult to deflect with the normal streams and paths of wind that he had set up around his body to deflect most standard projectiles. So at the last possible moment he used his dashing technique to move himself out of the way fast enough that he appeared to teleport a minor distance to those who didn't have sharp enough eyes.

"Hoh?" The blonde mused as he looked at Haku's ice encased arm pointing at him with dozens of needles sticking out of the mini chambers. "That was nowhere near as strong the last time I saw it."

"You're faster than last time as well." Haku countered his compliment with one of her own. "You might even be able to keep up with me now."

"Maybe." Naruto held his right hand in a half ram seal in front of his chest while his left hand pointed to the senbon that had reversed direction after they passed by and were about to impale him from behind.

With the smallest pulse of chakra, the air master literally stopped all movement of gas particles behind him and forced them in place, creating an invisible wall as hard as steel that protected him from the sneak attack with ease and made the needles bounce harmlessly back into the ocean where they caused a small portion of the water to freeze on contact.

The two sides looked at one another, measuring their odds and moves with practiced ease… completely ignoring the new source of killing intent that was being directed at all of them.

"As interesting as you three fighting sounds, I must warn you three that I will not-!"

Mei's not so subtle threat was completely ignored as her words only seemed to act as the trigger for the addressed to move. Without further warning, all three of them bolted to the ocean with Naruto flying backwards and Zabuza and Haku skating over the water so fast that they left massive waves in their wake.

Not even a second after the three began to move, dozens of explosions and pillars of ice shards and water littered the path that the three shinobi were travelling, preventing virtually everyone from seeing what exactly the combatants were doing.

"That foolish man… and what on earth was Haku thinking agreeing to join in?" Mei's infamous temper rose its ugly head, however once more it donned the mask of a sweetly smiling woman in her early thirties as she turned to the leaders with her. "Michiru-dono. Koyuki-dono. Please keep in mind that those three are Konoha shinobi, and as such whatever may happen in the near future is in no way Kirigakure's fault."

"I will keep that in mind." Koyuki sighed to the ocean. "Can anyone actually tell what they are doing?

Ao nodded as he activated his stolen eye. "So far it's pretty much as we can tell. The three of them are exchanging fast elemental projectiles at one another while they move further out to sea rather quickly. Zabuza is taking point with Haku supporting him." He paused as a large wave was kicked in their general direction, only to crash back down to the ocean moments later. "… As you can see, Uzumaki seems to be able to hold his own for the moment, but I doubt it will last long."

"Oi! I don't know about you, but I am particularly responsible for the safety of the normal people here." Karenbana frowned as she saw the first of the manmade waves approach the beach. "Move back! I'd rather not have someone get splash damage because they didn't know better!"

"How far do you think they're going to go?" Amayo asked worriedly, changing her gaze between where the fight was happening and where she was going.

"Most likely far enough that their jutsu won't damage the island in any way." Chojuro placed his sword on his back and followed her. "… Hopefully."

"Hopefully?" Michiru echoed.

"Honestly. Sometimes that idiot is almost more trouble than he's worth." Koyuki sighed in resignation. "Shinobi battles are unpredictable and potentially very destructive. This goes triple for Naruto. Trust me, I've had a front row seat to the results of his fights. He's smarter than he looks, but even so I hope he doesn't overdo it this time."

"They're still going." Hikairu narrowed his eyes to look at the explosions that were still growing smaller and smaller from where he was. He couldn't even imagine himself doing a single jutsu that had enough power to make explosions that big, and yet those three were throwing them around at one another as nothing more as if was nothing but a warm up. "How far do you think they are now?"

"A little over a mile now." Ao frowned as he watched Haku shoot hundreds of ice senbon at the airborne jinchuriki while Zabuza used jutsu to attack from below with just as many liquid jets using ocean. "Normally that would be a safe enough distance for even high level water battles…"

In response, the target seemed to take evasive actions, and utilize the unknown projectile deflecting technique mentioned earlier to avoid the combined attacks with unnatural ease, almost as if he was dancing with and around the lethal attacks.

The blonde counterattacked moments later, after going through the seals for a jutsu. The technique had him blow out a large number of compressed balls of air that spread out in front of him wide like a cloud.

His pursuers barely managed to stop in time before each individual ball erupted with a moderate amount of force. By themselves they were only somewhat dangerous, but combined and at once the resulting designed wide spread explosion was clearly the largest one made and was easily visible by everyone on the beach.

However Ao saw what no one else could, being that Haku had at the last moment protected both of them with a single use shield of ice before they both used the upturned water as a smokescreen to hide their next near instantaneous moves. Both water users conjured up a clone to go on ahead while the originals sunk into the water seamlessly.

The chase then continued on for a short while with more jutsu being exchanged before the clones used a few attacks that lobbed high and arced down to strike from above, no doubt to distract the blonde. Probably thinking that it wasn't enough, the clones used the time it took for the initial attacks to reach their target to fire off a few more direct and faster blasts of water to once more strike the airborne shinobi from two angles.

Just as planned, Naruto utilized the same evasion maneuvers as he had before, going with the attacks while controlling some of their paths to make it easier, when the real Zabuza and Haku shot up from below their target when he was at his closest to the water.

Given the short distance that the pair had to cover, and the speed at which they traveled, Ao was not surprised in the slightest that they both managed to score decisive blows on the irritating blonde. True they were not lethal strikes, but it would without a doubt put him down for a good…

Another Naruto materialized from several meters behind the one that Haku and Zabuza had attack and blasted them along with the identified clone with a massive and relentless hammer of wind that literally smashed them into the sea and under the surface.

He then had to rapidly move away as the sea below him erupted into another giant pillar, then move once again as what appeared to be the real Zabuza, who was standing on top of the rising pillar jumped off of it with his blade surrounded by a good deal of water and tried to cut the teen through.

And yet throughout the entire ordeal, all three of them were smiling as if they were enjoying this.

"How… did he manage to hide himself? I should have been able to sense him after he made the clone…" The blue haired man wondered in confusion and disbelief.

Unlike other sensors, the man utilized two different methods to detect others to high efficiency, his natural sensing abilities and his stolen Byakugan, which were why his skills and services were so highly valued by Kirigakure… and yet despite that advantage the blonde had still managed to avoid his detection… it was unnerving.

It was a bit surreal if he was honest. While he was considered a very experienced veteran and had played a major part in both a civil and shinobi war, as he often brought up with the younger generation, Ao had rarely taken part in bigger fights. Due to his skills, he was often stationed for espionage and assassination missions rather than being on the front line. True he had been in a good number of fights, but rarely was it involved with individuals on both sides that possessed such destructive potential.

The best example that he could recall was when Mei fought Yagura at the peak of the civil war… and even that battle lacked the certain level of trickery and cunning that this current one possessed…

"Well Ao?" The Mizukage frowned.

"They're… even, so far." He admitted. "Nothing too massive as of yet for ones of their level, but as you can see…" He paused as another large explosion was seen in the distance, followed a few seconds later by the sound. "… It's more intense than most could handle."

"Seriously?" Suigetsu frowned as he walked forward to the ocean. "That nut is actually holding them off at the same time on the ocean? I gotta see this for myself."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Chojuro warned. "Any one of those three can hurt you even when you turn to water. If you get too close you'll get caught in the crossfire."

"Ah don't get your panties in a bunch. I'll get my ass out of there if things get nuts. I'll stay outside of Haku's range if it makes you sleep better." The wielder of the Kiba blades lazily waved his hands and fused with the increasingly choppy water the second he made contact with it.

"Hmmm." Michiru crossed his arms and strained his eyes to see the fight so far in the distance. "It's kinda disappointing that something so impressive is happening so close, and yet we are unable to witness it. Even I am aware that battles between S ranked shinobi are rare."

"Michiru-dono, do not misinterpret this, but please don't ever say something stupid like that again." Karenbana frowned. "If you were close enough to see what fighters on that level were doing, you'd be dead just from standing on the sidelines."

"But that's what we have you for isn't it?" Amayo looked at the short woman skeptically.

"With all due respect Amayo-sama… I'd at best be a human meat shield against these guys." The Kunoichi laughed sarcastically. "The general rule when it comes to fights on this level is to avoid them at all costs. Period. Only the insane would ever even consider actually involving themselves as a legitimate strategy." She shook her head. "In case you forgot, one of those nuts out there managed to take out twelve men while on the verge of passing out due to starvation and a cramped body. Normal logic doesn't apply to them."

"Now that's not very nice." Mei pouted as she looked at the shortest shinobi there. "I happen to be just as strong as they are if not more, and I consider myself to be perfectly behaved and sane."

None of those that knew her for a long period of time DARED to bring up how she acted when she was still single. They enjoyed the Mizukage being consistently pleasant as opposed to always smiling as if it was the only thing preventing her from snapping at the nearest person available… which coincidentally and conveniently enough was frequently Ao.

It was secretly believed that this was the main reason why the man had a stick up his ass all the time: he was adamant about being on the woman's good side lest she murder him for some seemingly mundane and unknown slights that he supposedly gave her.

"Why are your ANBU staring at you?" Hikairu tilted his head to the side confused.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." The woman put on her patented smile while leaking out a tiny amount of killing intent, just enough for the boy to get the idea that to push the subject would be a bad idea.

It also let the ANBU now that they were going to be in deep shit once everything settled down.

Suddenly the group at the beach could feel what could only be described as a source of unequivocal cold, like a piece of the polar ice caps themselves had just spawned from out of nowhere and what they were feeling was merely the aftereffects of it being there. Even though it was the middle of the summer, those on the beach couldn't help but shiver and try to warm up.

Not a moment later, a second unnatural existence had spawned itself in the same location. It was as if they had just been given knowledge of the location of a raging biju a short distance away. They couldn't see it, but they could without a doubt feel its bloodlust and the nature of its violently hungry nature.

"Hmm. It looks like Zabuza and Haku are finally taking this seriously." Mei crossed her arms and shook her head. "I expect that this shouldn't take much longer now-!?"

As if that was not enough, a third and by far the most oppressive sensation made itself known. The air around everyone became unnaturally heavy and rippled like it was growling, as if they were all suddenly in the middle of a tremendous living storm only without the wind, rain and clouds, if that made any sense at all.

"Hoh?" Kurama grinned with some amusement as he walked towards the humans, undaunted by the three unnatural forces of nature. "It looks like they've decided to stop holding back… should be interesting."

o. o. o.

On an Island several dozen miles away:

Ino had not been expecting Naruto's presence to spike from out of nowhere so suddenly and with so much ferocity.

As a result of that and her sensitivity to chakra, no one could blame her for spitting her mouthful of mango fruit smoothie right into Kakashi's face and gagging as the cold but still sticky substance slipped down the wrong pipe.

"Sensei…" Sakura frowned as she turned to the direction of the anomaly. None of them needed Ino's sensory skills to detect what was going on or who was responsible for it.

"Well at least we know he's still alive." The silver haired man shrugged as he began to gather his things, the juice that had been sprayed on his face now suddenly gone, partially thanks to one of the layered masks he always wore. Despite the urgency of the mission, the four of them hadn't been exactly moving with urgency recently, evident as they were currently taking a break at a café having assorted local drinks.

"Zabuza and Haku are with him too." Sasuke didn't want to imagine what was happening, but he highly doubted that the three of them were just goofing around. "Does anyone want to wait and see if luck would finally be with us and they'll take him down for us?"

"And risk the collateral?" Sakura grunted as she stood up. "Get ready guys. Today's gonna be a long day."

Ino tried to follow, but she was still busy hacking her brains out. Choking on sticky drinks was always a bit harder to deal with than others for some reason.

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the elemental nations:

"Hey what's the holdup? We're almost at the next town." The muscular man in rave attire asked as the man in a business suit stopped in place and looked around with a frown. "Gotta piss or something?"

"There's a fight a good ways in that direction." The sharpest looking of the group leered. "A big one."

"So?" The Hispanic woman shrugged. "We know that there are a few heavy hitters here. I don't see what the problem is."

"They're using presence."

The other three travelers paused as they digested the information. Presence users were rare enough that it was commonly accepted that if you came across one, you came across someone who traveled dimension, or at least someone who knows people that travel dimensions.

"And?" The elderly man rose an eyebrow.

"Two elementalists and fighter of demonic influence. All of them seem to be locals." The man shifted his glasses. "The fighter and one of the elementalists, an ice user, are fighting the other elemental, a wind…" He paused. "… No… a sky user."

"A sky user?" The woman paused. "Those are rare aren't they?"

"Rare and strong. Being able to access and manipulate the entire expanse of the sky at once is not something a person can simply just train to do. Even the weakest ones are still Holy Classes, high tier Upper Classes at the very least. They hit hard and from any direction." The raver crossed his arms. "Although the only one that's worth noting that I know of is…" He paused and glanced at the old man with a hint of uncertainty.

"It's not him. I would have known if it was." The leader of the group looked at the direction of the fight. "Still, I'm surprised that there's one here. Best to keep an eye out for his signature and stay away from him. Sky users are notoriously difficult to hide from when travelling within their range and are known to be rather tricky. We don't want to be discovered just yet."

"So what are the odds?" The woman asked. "The sky user sounds like a beast, but he's outnumbered and they all use presence."

"They're pretty even. The ice user and the fighter are lower level Holy Classes and have history. They're also on the ocean. The sky user though has a bit more power behind him, mid tier Holy, and… hmm… well now, that's interesting."

"What is it?" The eldest one frowned.

The well dressed man leered off into the distance as if focusing on the target in deeper concentration. "It seems as if the young man has recently gone on quite a long and exotic trip, one that by all means he should not be able to go on…"

o. o. o.

A hostel somewhere in the Land of Fire:

From what was previously stated, it is clear that the Uchiha clan's erratic behavior and habit of sociopathy is not a result of what the Nidaime Hokage believed to be "unequivocal love", but instead an unfortunate aftereffect of the Sharingan.

The requirement and stress that lead to the initial unlocking of their bloodlines, stress, the need to see something beyond their normal range of sight, and most importantly a good shock to their spiritual stability, results in a constant chemical unbalance that simulates obsessive compulsive disorder, schizophrenia, and paranoia in order for the user to process the information their eyes give them. The further their eyes are unlocked, the more of this chemical is unleashed into their mind and the more the symptoms are enhanced.

When unaddressed, as it is frequently in the current society due to the standards of what requires legitimate therapy, these symptoms result in what many consider extreme cases and behavior that lead to drastic decisions. If left for too long among like minded individuals, such as the Uchiha Clan, combined with the generalized plateau that many others place upon them, it becomes obvious that a sense of entitlement and inflated pride would become the standard for those with these symptoms eventually. Just as likely are consequences of thinking along these lines.

Specific examples are obviously the attempted Uchiha coup, Madara's attempt to be Hokage, Itachi Uchiha's martyr complex, and Sasuke Uchiha's frequently unaddressed superiority and inferiority complexes.

These symptoms no doubt are more aggressive and severe in those that unlock their powers at an earlier age, which unsurprisingly is what many in the clan strived to achieve in order to access their potential faster.

Had the Uchiha not been wiped out to less than a handful of members, or had Tsunade Senju had more time to look at the situation, she would no doubt have made this connection as the medical technology and knowledge has advanced since her granduncle's time.

As a recommendation, should the Uchiha bloodline progress and spread once more, it is suggested…

"You know I don't like it when you read over my shoulder."

Sylvia of the Stained Glass giggled softly as she stood behind Scabbard looking at his computer screen. "Like always, you just can't seem to work on a large project without demeaning someone important and his achievements in a way that makes them seem like they were fools."

The Legacy's Prophet merely blinked as a sign of his mild irritation, his only indication of his mood for having one of his places invaded without his permission.

"Oh don't be like that." The woman continued cheerfully. "It's been so long since we've seen one another. Even if we are no longer dating that shouldn't mean that we can't enjoy such events on occasion."

Scab got back to typing.

"So is there anyone else in your life that you've taken an interest in yet?" Clearly she was used to Scab's silent treatment and didn't mind it in the slightest. "What's her name? Or is it a he this time?"

More constant typing.

"No? No one yet? A shame. You're so cute too. It wouldn't be hard for you to grab someone. Especially when you're as good as you are in bed. I guess you've just been focusing on the usual then." Sylvia sighed and looked around the room. "Amassing another meaningless fortune. Using looked down upon means to bring others up while pushing yourself up even further behind the scenes. Gathering information. Experimentation. Humiliating as many as you can. And of course your longest unfinished project, searching for yet another possible way to end the cycle of nothing…"

The typing stopped.

"You do realize that my sister will hunt you like a dog the instant she finds out that you are here."

"Aww. Well then I'm glad that I'm with the big bad wolf to protect me." The woman grinned as she lightly hugged the man from behind and kissed him lightly on the back of the head. "Besides, it's not like it would be the first time that either of us have gotten on her bad side."

"I've never been on her kill on sight list and I intend to stay that way." The lightning user droned on. "My sister is scary like that."

"No need to remind me of when she collapsed six layers of universes on top of me the last time. Even I was surprised that I managed to escape alive." She paused before slyly looking at the man in front of her. "But then again, I've always considered you to be the scariest person I know."

"You probably knew I was here the moment I entered this universe and was tracking every movement I made. No doubt you've already come up with several hundred ways to make me walk to my painful death without raising a finger if you so wished."

"And what of my brother?" Scabbard left his question hanging in the air like a guillotine before he began to type again.

"Hm. I certainly fear Ghost, but more for what he is than the man himself." She pouted. "To not fear the God of None is the epitome of foolishness or ignorance. It would be the same as claiming and believing that the sun is not hot. You on the other hand are truly a terrifying example of humanity's potential."

"And clearly the same logic cannot be said for my sister, despite what you had a hand in." Scabbard stated factually.

"Now that's not true." Sylvia completely missed the sarcasm and pouted. "I respect Shadow and Lady Zuzushi's power more than most. Admittedly it is partially due to the fact that I have somehow managed to survive having a good deal of it so I am more familiar with it than said most. Even so, it's because of that that I went through with the plan. You know that I wasn't aware of what was going to happen in the end. Besides, she was nowhere near as powerful then as she is now."

"We are not having this conversation again." A single spark of green lightning arcing between two of his hair spikes got the message across. "As it stands I am the only person in the Family that will even attempt to help you survive my sister's wrath. The rest would simply leave her be or even help her in the task. It would be best to remember that." He paused. "In fact revealing yourself on this world would prove to be even more damning than under most circumstances."

The God Class woman paused in curiosity. "Really? This world does not seem to be that dangerous. Nothing that could pose a threat to us at least, and I do not know what it could possibly produce that could be of significant worth in some way…"

"Ghost is planning on getting married again."

The room was silent as the words echoed, and the visitor's face paled dramatically.

"… T-Truly? The… The God of None has found another mate after so long?" She swallowed nervously.

In the multiverse, there were several general taboos when it came to those that currently followed Zuzushi through its vast expanse, however there were two in particular that applied to Ghost.

The first was that calling him by his title was grounds for an immediate death match unless stated otherwise.

So much so that certain cultures had max punishments where the perpetrator was cursed to forever search without rest for the man and call him by his name. Few ever managed to get that far.

It was a rule that Ghost had established himself, and enforced it so harshly that it was considered a rule of nature.

The second, and the one that was followed even more strictly than the first…

… Was to NEVER in ANY WAY, attempt to harm or alter his wives to get to him or as a result of him, even indirectly.

Because the last, and only time that happened…

Remember, Remember,

Now and forever.

The steps of one,

That presides over none.

The eternal plea,

Our Cursed Memory…

No, not even the Gods would ever want to go through something like that again.

"So that's why this realm was so closed off." The Stained Glass shivered, realizing the implications of how severe the situation would be if things got out of hand. It wasn't that she was against Ghost having happiness. The fates know that the entirety of the Family needed their fair share after all the shit they've been through…

But still, having the man hitched again was akin to hearing that someone's armed a doomsday bomb and then let it roll down a hill.

Before she could get another word in, the pair felt three people using Presence off in the distance. Normally the distance would be too great to detect, but to individuals of their power and influence, the ripple generated through reality was easily noticeable.

"Someone you know?" Sylvia noted Scabbard had once more stopped typing.

The immortal lighting user didn't reply as he mentally sent a signal to one of the dozens of devices he had interweaved into the walls of the room, and moments later a projector that was not unlike one of the panels on the ceiling turned on and used one of the blank walls as a canvas.

It was showing the video recorded one million frames per second of the fight all the way in Moon Country, taken by one of the cloaked drones he had set to hover around Zabuza and Haku whenever he went out on a mission.

Scab also used it to occasionally torment Zabuza in his sleep whenever he felt that the swordsman was getting too comfortable. Being able to remotely influence another person's dreams from hundreds of miles away is always an interesting way to pass the time.

Especially when he got to record the screams of night terrors consisting of hairy feet, sour milk, and getting the Mizukage pregnant with triplets.

He was planning on playing the videos for him during the bachelor party. People say the darnest things when they wake up screaming in fear.

"Oh? Several people of interest?" Sylvia looked carefully at the combatants. "I see that a couple of them are sporting your wares. Students then?"

Scab didn't bother to say anything as his computer desk slid by itself to against the wall to the side and his chair morphed into an ez recliner. Without bothering to look, a second recliner appeared under his guest before moving her to his side.

Then a small table with a couple of beers and snacks rose up between them.

"Such a gentleman." Sylvia shook her head in mock frustration as she grabbed her drink and relaxed in her seat. She had known Scabbard for centuries so she understood him well enough to know that it would be best to keep quiet for now and enjoy the show. Had her appearance truly have caught him off guard, he would not have bothered with such frivolities upon their first meeting in so long.

She'd address the seventeen thousand microscopic tracking devices, twelve trigger activated microscopic poisons, and forty eight lethal pinpoint weapons on or aimed at her later. She was sure that there were more of each on her, but it wasn't really an immediate issue.

She was given a free show so she might as well enjoy it. Business could wait.

o. o. o.

Omake:

Blondes just wanna have fun:

"So let me get this straight." Naruto frowned as he looked at the twenty year old woman with long blonde hair, a cowboy outfit, golden gauntlets, and a huge rack. "You wanna fight me even though you pretty much have no game breaking powers, physical prowess, and knowing full well that I have the standard unfair regenerative power and awesome ninja skills."

"Yep." An older Yang Xio Long grinned as she took up a boxing stance. "Gotta be diverse in the art of ass kicking. Don't wanna be sloppy after all."

Now, by this point Naruto was more than aware that the odds of Ghost introducing him to someone that won't murder him in some way was slightly less than him encountering someone… well… sane, but even so he couldn't help but feel insulted. This woman was good and certainly gave a feeling that indicated that she was no civilian, but he was certain that she was still nowhere near his level.

"Your funeral." The jinchuriki sighed as he quickly tensed his legs and dashed forward faster than most people could possibly follow, passing her in the blink of an eye, the sound of her gauntlets clashing with his talons echoed in the sparring hall for everyone to hear as he passed.

"Wow. You weren't kidding with that ninja crap were you?" The woman grinned. "I don't even think Blake or Ruby would be able to keep up with that."

Naruto smirked as he turned around and held up a lock of golden hair that certainly did not belong to him. "You make it sound like you can...

… Why are your eyes suddenly red and why do I suddenly feel like crying?"

o. o. o.

A/N:

Fuck it. I was planning on posting this with the next FFD as an uber Christmas gift, but the way my life has been acting up lately that's probably not gonna happen. Fucking grad school and teachers that can't teach advanced linear matrix systems for shit.

I actually wanted to get the whole moon country arc done this chapter, but once again my habit of dragging things out got in the way. Without a doubt it will be done the next chapter and onto events that people will without a doubt be interested in, and more divergences in the timeline will be evident.

So for anyone that noticed, I have hinted at a few more worlds that Naruto has visited in his travels in this chapter. All in all, the general idea of his travels and the people he's met can be summed up as such, for every three people of interest he's met, two have beaten his ass into the ground upon their first conversation whether he's stronger than them or not, simply due to his inexperience in adapting to horrifically different world and style mechanics.

Also, at one point, Ghost sealed off almost all his chakra and left him in Ryozanpaku for six months. For those of you who don't know what that means, it basically means he's mastered the basics of several taijutsu styles under the teachings of masters that make Gai look sane and tame.

So less than a month till I move to Jacksonville Florida. Goodbye cold winter of the northeast and hello hot sticky summer of the south.

First thing on my list, visit seaworld. I gots a killer whale to gawk over. SHAMOOOOOOO!

Eheheh. Moo.

Oh. Before I forget, I got some INSANE fanart recently on deviantart of Crypt and Scab. Honestly they are the most epic ones I have gotten yet of individual Oogakari and I drool every time I see them. Now if only people would make a few more on the Naruto characters. It is a naruto fic people!

So here's to me finishing another chapter of whatever by new years. Merry Christmas you bastards!

SO REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! WONDER WHAT ZABUZA'S LEASHES ARE MADE OF AND WHAT HIS COLLAR LOOKS LIKE! AND REVIEW AGAIN!