Take Two Round Two

by Third Fang

What do you get when you cross several interdimensional god like beings, raw boredom, a world of Naruto that went wrong, several years worth of off screen training, common sense, insanity, humor, sarcasm, the Log, explosions, plot, and overall chaos? Apparently a lot of headache medicine for Tsunade. May the Games Begin. Sequel to Yet Again With A Little Extra Help.

9. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight: And now back by popular demand, fully grown males screaming like not fully grown females.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OC's and new Jutsu in the story as well as every ounce of pure awesome spawned by this.

o. o. o.

Moony moon moon moon place:

"Honestly." Sakura sighed as she finished checking Haku's injuries. The sheer number of wounds that both former Kiri shinobi had was absurd, though thankfully not overwhelming. It took her and Ino several hours to treat their patients adequately after they returned to Michiru's castle, and even then the defeated pair had slept for nearly a full day before being conscious for the follow-up treatment. All in all it would take at least a week or two of treatment to get them back to full health. "I'm starting to think that I worked hard in being a medic to heal everyone that comes into contact with Naruto."

"That doesn't sound like a bad reason to me." Ino shrugged as she finished setting Zabuza's arm in a cast.

"You won't be left wanting for work that's for sure." Zabuza grunted as he leaned back into his bed.

"Sadly the benefits are somewhat lacking." Haku joined in dry humor. "Though we have no one to blame but ourselves for this in the end. We were the ones that urged him to fight in the first place."

"Not like he put much of an argument against it." The swordsman rolled his eyes. "He was almost as jumpy to get things going as I was when we started to get serious."

"Knowing you, your only regret about the decision was that you got your ass kicked." Ino cleaned up the last of the bandages she had changed before washing her hands in the nearby sink.

"No." Haku corrected her. "He regrets that so many people have found out that he got his ass kicked."

"I'm an assassin. I don't like witnesses." The man stated evenly. "Speaking of which…"

"No. You may not kill the Daimyo or their escorts to lower the numbers." His adopted daughter chided him as if he was a child. "We've had similar conversations before, and they all end the same. Don't make me repeat myself."

"Fine." The man huffed. "I'll just threaten them with painful things if they run their mouths like I normally do."

Sakura and Ino wisely did not dwell on the very real possibility that he was in fact being serious.

"On the subject of unspeakable future misery, can we go over the source of our current ire?" Sakura asked.

"I thought medics were supposed to avoid making their patients do things that would cause them more pain." Zabuza dryly grumbled before Ino wacked him upside the head. "Tch! Watch it kid. I'm still able to disembowel you even like this."

"That's nice. Just be sure to do it before the numbing poisons I nailed you with take hold ok?" Ino casually looked at her nails, not at all worried about the man's threats.

"Why you little…"

"Focus before I'm down an assistant and up a patient." Sakura growled.

"Fine." The grown man and the blonde sighed in defeat.

Before Sakura continued, she took out several kunai with some seals on them and threw them at each corner of the room with minimal effort. The pieces of paper glowed faintly as soon as they stopped moving, preventing anyone from spying on the room. This included Ao, who was in a room a few doors away with a neck brace on.

"Oh?" Haku rose her uninjured eyebrow. "I suspected that something particular was happening with Naruto, but you just confirmed it."

"You noticed it too huh?" Zabuza's eyes focused on Sakura. "I couldn't be too sure, which is why I didn't say anything before. So kid, care to tell us why you're so desperate to get the idiot back in particular?"

"Ghost went overboard with his training, in a bad way." The lead medic crossed her arms, mentally noting that Naruto's condition was to the point that he couldn't hide it from those that actually knew him. "Of course we expected that was going to happen to some degree, but it got to the point that he's moderately traumatized and its impaired some of his social interaction and interpretation skills."

"And we were the lucky ones sent to try and drag him back to Konoha before he accidentally fucks something up in another country." Ino sighed casually. "Too late for that one I'm afraid."

"He's actually messed up in the head now?" Zabuza frowned as he went over his recent time with the blonde. "Hmm… yeah come to think of it, that explains why he was more crazy than normal. It took more for him to be serious too when there wasn't any fighting involved. Had to remind him several times to focus on occasion."

"He was also uncomfortable during the festivities." Haku pointed out. "During the feast after the trade deal was finalized, he was constantly on guard and stuck near the walls whenever possible. Actually I believe he was defensive even when it was just us. I noticed him on more than one occasion scoping out his surroundings and the people he was around with speculation even when they were obviously either harmless or had no intention of doing anything to him."

"Then there was the fight." The elder mused. "Don't know why, but during the first part he was constantly trying to go up close when by all means he should have been spamming us with jutsu from a distance. Didn't make sense then. He's smarter than that, but if he's a bit off like you said…"

"He was probably still testing us." Haku put the pieces together. "He was less focused on proving himself to us and more interested in how we would fight in various situations."

Zabuza grunted. "It wasn't bad enough that he didn't think we could handle the furball's chakra or sage mode, but he even did that as well? I'm going to skin that little shit."

"You're a bit misinformed about the sage mode and fox thing." Ino pointed out offhandedly. "I don't know what he told you, but we know for a fact that he can't use either at the moment."

Both injured parties blinked in surprise. "What?"

"Like I said, Ghost overdid the training." Sakura sighed and rubbed her temples. "He slapped a seal on Naruto before they got back that prevents him from using his higher states because he thought the idiot would be too strong with them. Sensei claimed that he wanted to keep things "interesting" and not have Naruto able to one shot everything from the get go."

"That little fucker…" Zabuza was of mixed feelings. On the one hand, having Naruto any stronger than what he had already shown honestly unnerved him greatly. On the other, things were now harder for them to prevent the world from ending because the immortal jackass wanted a show.

"Well if anything else, he certainly hid that fact well." Haku sighed in defeat, knowing there was nothing she could have done about it regardless. "Still it concerns me that he has little to fall back on in an emergency should he encounter Akatsuki now. And if his mental state is as bad as you claimed…"

"Oh you know, as much as we expected… and then way too much more." Naruto shrugged without a care. "Pretty much got killed at least a few dozen times. Brought back, then killed again… and again… and again. It's a lot more stressful than it sounds."

"VERY maliciously suppressed… among others." The fox yawned. "You're going to have your hands full with this one, that much is for certain."

Sakura turned to her friend. "What are your thoughts on what you've heard about him so far?"

The mind reader crossed her arms and closed her eyes in thought. "Hmm. Aversion to large crowds in enclosed areas and high levels of suspicion the rest of the time. Inability to focus in non stressful situations. More aggressive behavior in stressful situations. Those do align up nicely to PTSD."

"He did say some odd things when it came to his training, but you know the general rule when it comes to practicing with the nuts. Don't ask don't tell." Zabuza shrugged. "All in all I've seen far worse cases."

"Then again, there was that one shinobi he killed when he woke up." Haku mused. "It was particularly violent, even by what we had expected of him."

Ino blinked in surprise. "Violent? What happened to the guy?"

"Top half of his body was torn to mulch and sprayed all over the room. Practically painted half the room with the idiot's insides." Zabuza snorted. "Even Kisame couldn't do something like that so easily, especially since the guy was wearing chakra armor."

"Wait… I thought that he was crippled and starving when the attempted coup happened." Sakura frowned in confusion.

"He was. I was the first to check on his body when he passed out that night." Haku replied. "In fact it was his first kill that day. Supposedly the man was sent to kill him in particular because word of his situation got leaked, but he had woken up to see his attacker just as he was reaching for his head with a kunai..."

"Shit." Ino grimaced as she glanced at Sakura. "Ghost really wasn't kidding when he said that Naruto reacts to people reaching for his face badly."

"I think it might be related to the scar on his head." Haku pointed out with the barest tinge of hesitance.

"Scar?" Sakura blinked in confusion as she called up her teammate's recent appearance. "I didn't notice any scars on his face. Then again he did have a few freeze burns on it so maybe…"

"I didn't see one either." Ino frowned.

"You worded it wrong Haku." Zabuza shook his head. "The brat's entire skull is scarred. The skin from the neck up is a couple shades paler than the rest of his body save for the litter of marks on his chest and back. It's nearly impossible to point out when he has clothes on. I could tell some of the ones on his body were torture scars as well, but those were all nearly completely taken care of by his healing. Never seen the likes of the one on his head before though."

Both females paused for a moment as they let the information sink in. While it was true that chunin and jonin underwent training to resist interrogation and torture, neither one of them had suspected that Ghost would go to such lengths to prepare his student as to permanently mark him in the process to such degrees. Oh sure they suspected a few scars here and there when the blonde got back, but his entire head?

"Who else knows of this?" Sakura frowned darkly, making mental notes to give the immortal more than just a piece of her mind when she got back.

"The brat with the glasses and that midget kunoichi." The glint in Zabuza's eyes spoke of how exactly he dealt with the situation. "Both Haku and I made certain that they knew what would happen to them if they spilled what they saw."

"Good." The jonin stated evenly before closing her eyes and started to put more pieces together. Clearly Ghost had missed out on a few details when telling everyone about his condition and their causes.

Naruto's erratic personality had become even more necessary to him over the three years as it evolved from a mere stress relieving tool to a vital coping mechanism. From what she had heard over the past few hours, it had thankfully not impaired his abilities as a shinobi in any significant way, however it was none the less a risk if it was left unchecked for too long.

Unfortunately for them, the definition for "too long" was inversely proportional to the shinobi's strength, and if what she saw was any indication their time limit was coming up fast.

"I think we should shift over to his jutsu for now." Ino casually played with another senbon. "Knowing how messed up he is is one thing, knowing how to take him down is another. I don't know about you, but a Naruto that can actually use genjutsu in battle honestly terrifies me…"

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the elemental nations:

"Hmmm." Sylvia moaned in content as she rested in Scabbard's bed. She may not be a set with the man anymore, however that did nothing to stop the pair from enjoying liberal activities every now and then.

She was one of the few people in the multiverse that had the pleasure of knowing that Scabbard did in fact have a sex drive, but that he was an INSANELY good lover that could do things with his fingers that even had gods pausing at times.

In fact despite Ghost's loud and frequent declarations that he was a gift to all females everywhere, the truth was that he had learned most of his tricks from his deceptively unemotional sibling.

She was also one of the even smaller number of individuals that knew that Scabbard was bisexual… a very miserly, sadistic, and picky bisexual that frequently finds other's misery more satisfying than intercourse with those that he believes are worth his time.

His brothels did cater to both men and women with the greatest of services after all. Where do you think they learned their tricks from?

Not that she cared of course. It actually made their relationship quite eventful when they were together. It's not like she could claim she batted for only one team without lying either.

"I'd say I'm glad you didn't lose your touch, but that would be an insult to someone like you." She smiled without moving from the bed.

"The fact that you are going to linger in this world despite my advice is insulting enough." The alchemist droned as he looked over some paperwork on his desk. He was wearing nothing but his pants with the rest of his clothes lying around the floor in odd places. His scarred, exposed upper body could be best described as "fit". Muscular and a bit on the skinny side yes, but it didn't fit into any particular category otherwise. Not bulky. Not lean. Not excessive, but certainly not lacking in any way either save for the vertical department. It could be considered the epitome of an average build.

It certainly wasn't something that most women would complain about.

Oh how he wished he could just train his spies and consorts to just scan and type their notes to make things go faster, however far too many questions would come from such a path. As such he was stuck with most of his information coming to him physically and wasting large parts of his time.

He couldn't wait for one of the three rising tech companies to finally come out with a freely accessible basic electronic messing system in the next year and a half so he could not deal with this anymore so he could control… manipulate the system at near instantaneous speeds like he was used to.

"Then I shall try to keep things as civil as possible throughout the duration of my stay." The God Class woman yawned and stretched while sitting herself up lazily. She didn't bother to cover her modest bust with the covers. "Now what has you so unnerved? You are far more adamant about my departure than you normally are whenever your sister and I are within the same region. Usually you just give me a fair warning and then let me go on my merry way to get killed… or not."

"It's far more than what I give most that have crossed our paths to the extremes you have." The man stated factually. "I seemed to have spoiled you."

"You spoil any woman or man that you take even a moderate amount of interest in." The Stained Glass smiled coyly. "I consider myself lucky to be one of the few that has been on the receiving end of the miserly prophet's generosity."

"You know I don't like anyone speaking of me in great numbers. With a large reputation comes the unwanted. That's why I let the others do as they wish and draw everyone's attention from me."

Sylvia giggled. "You might wish to try harder then. From what I have heard you made quite an impact a few years ago up north."

"Staying out of the spotlight and focusing on business since then has curbed the aspirations of the tainted." The man hissed.

"Hmm. I suppose that is but another reason why you spend so much time wrapping virtually every economy you come across around your little finger, regardless of how insignificant they are in the grand scheme of things. Not that you couldn't come up with several thousand already at the drop of a hat." The woman sighed as she absently played with her long brown hair. "It's not Shadow's reaction that you are afraid of this time… or at least not in the standard sense."

The man didn't bother responding to her as he continued to work.

"Hmm. There doesn't seem to be much in this universe. Some of the inhabitants do have some potential, but nothing genuinely outstanding seems to dwell here." She continued to muse out loud. "On average those worlds with the "superheroes" in those amusingly revealing outfits tend to have more potential than this one. There is a slightly higher spiritual influence that can allow Gods to interfere with greater frequency, but again it is not exactly outstanding compared to many other worlds. And yet my presence here unnerves you… no, it is what my being simply here could lead to that has you on edge."

Again he remained quiet. He had expected her to reason out a good many things on her own. The woman would not have grown to such power and ability had she not. It would be pointless to worry about such trivial things, especially when he had already predicted them.

"There is something here you value. No. Not just value. You genuinely are concerned of the results should its destruction come to pass." She nodded with certainty. "Regardless of what it is, it has your notice, and as such you do not desire to risk its end should dear Shadow and I come to blows again. A rarity. There is not much that would warrant such attention from you. You were only at best mildly annoyed when entire universes you have invested some time into were wiped out by that pair of conflicting Elders some centuries back. I believe that a number of your more prized subordinates were caught in the crossfire too."

"We have been in one of the major cities for some time." The miser stated factually. "Waltz has grown close to a good portion of the local youth. You are well aware of how he reacts to anyone that would threaten their existence."

"Ah yes. The "Red Flood" as he's called now." She shook her head in dry amusement as she inspected her nails. "I much preferred the original version. "Bloody Hands Waltz." It had a stronger feeling to it, more significant, more weight, and was far more accurate to its source. Catchier too. I believe they actually made a song with that title at one point. It took you, what, four centuries to have society change it to the point that no one remembers the original moniker?"

"Two, and you know what his thoughts on the title are. It hits too close to the truth." The man frowned, breaking his previously impassive demeanor.

"So his trauma still has not abated then? A shame. Oh well. Far be it for me to anger even more of your infamous family. My relationship with any of them save you is far from ideal after all." She sighed whimsically. "Fear not. You are well aware that I am a pacifist. I would not dare willingly risk the well being of others, let alone children."

Anymore. Was left unsaid.

As powerful and confident as she was, even Sylvia would never repeat that particular mistake ever again. She would not permit herself to do such a thing even if she had the option to.

"All the more reason to be wary. Pacifists tend to be terrible schemers. Their plans cause more problems than solutions."

The woman pouted childishly before turning her head away. "I see your tongue has not changed in the slightest."

"You said the same thing in a far more positive tone last night. I assumed you knew what entailed when you first said it. No need to repeat yourself."

A tick mark made itself known on her forehead. "You always were a terrible person to wake up next to. As intelligent as you are, you are abysmal at pillow talk."

"Not my fault few are actually morning people." He paused before pressing a button on his desk. "Naomi. A cup of coffee please. Light cream. One sugar."

"It's too late to apologize for your rudeness." The woman frowned.

"Yes, but the coffee will make you awake enough to not give me so many openings." The stronger of the two dryly retorted. "It is vastly less amusing when a game is too easy, even if I can still break it with ease."

The woman glared back at him with mild annoyance before shaking her head and sighing in defeat. "I suppose I have not been as active as I should be if it only took that much for me to lose my composure. I have not been spoken to like this in quite some time."

"Knowing you, the coffee will be a more refreshing experience." Scabbard muttered absently.

"Only if it's satisfactory." She pointed out casually.

"You almost sound like you're insinuating that I would be careless enough to not have quality brew in my establishments." The alchemist warned in his standard even tone.

"Merely making a statement. You know better than to assume that I would ever question the standards of your establishments." She retorted with ease.

"Merely making a statement." The man echoed her.

Their conversation was interrupted as a soft knock was heard on the door. "Coffee?"

"The door's unlocked." The master of the house replied without looking up.

The girl in her mid teens hesitantly opened the door holding a tray with the steaming drink in a cup and a small pitcher that held more of the brew. She only lingered her eyes on Sylvia for a second before all her focus was captured by the half naked man that all but owned her. Quietly she put the tray on an end table before bowing and moving to the door again. "Will that be all Papa?"

"No. That is all for now. Thank you for your service Naomi." Scab briefly looked at the girl in the eyes to acknowledge her existence before turning back to his work. "I've heard that you are doing well in your cooking lessons. At the rate you are going I will have to find a suitable mentor soon."

The girl's eyes brightened up considerably before bowing again. "Thank you Papa."

Sylvia chuckled as the door closed and she slowly sipped her drink. "Hmm. Not bad. So what's her story? Abandoned as a child? Family murdered by bandits? Kidnapped and turned into a slave?"

"Sold off by her alcoholic father to cover gambling debts when she was ten. Then sold to me when the local competition could not afford to train or maintain the girls that were not old enough to bring in more customers a year ago. Not much of a lay from what the reviews say, but she is quite capable in the culinary arts, so I frequently have her working in the kitchens or as a maid." Scab answered without pity. "A rather frequent history for many of my charges. Regrettably they are often unsuited mentally for being in any positions of real power once they leave my direct employment due to their previous experiences. However, their gratitude and idolization of me and the family I provide tends to ensure their loyalty long after their departure."

"Cruelty and kindness. Shrewdness and generosity. I wonder how long it has been since you have done anything without any alternative motives underlying them." Sylvia sighed whimsically.

"I find little point in thinking of such things." The reply was so casual and empty that most humans would instantly become fearful of the man's integrity and seemingly lack of empathy.

"No… I doubt you would." The woman stared absently as she looked at her distorted reflection. She didn't bother that despite the man's double sided nature in managing his prostitutes, he still subconsciously instilled a feeling of family between all of them… something that was a strong but at the same time delicate subject within the man's immediate relations. "It's not like that's the only dirty secret I am aware of in your kin."

"I'm a big boy Syl. I can take care of my own issues."

"No doubt you can." The woman sighed before taking another sip of her hot drink.

Only now her cup was filled with tea instead of coffee. Neither person in the room bothered to comment on it. After all it was a very old habit of the woman's to frequently alter her beverages after a sip or two. One that she had had long before she had even met her host...

"Time certainly is a troublesome thing isn't it?" She continued. "It has a nasty habit of changing things we don't want to. Neither of our families fared any different. My brother changed… coming into power shortly after yours lost his mind… only a century if I remember correctly."

The room was dead quiet.

The woman donned a thoughtful expression, her drink now a cappuccino. "You know, I never did learn of the real reason why Crypt, the legendary sangromancer, necromancer, seal master, and philosopher, went mad. Actually I believe it's one of the biggest mysteries around your kin. He was unstable to be sure, but there's enough to be certain that he simply didn't just snap one day after living too long. Not in the way he did at least. True it happened before I was born, but still it is a surprisingly muted topic even among the gods. You'd assume they'd be more forthcoming about such a subject, but they aren't oddly enough. One would think that the event would have been well known since Crypt was at the time-"

"It would be wise to end the topic of conversation." The smell of ozone could be detected in the room. "To harm a guest is both poor manners and a bad representation of how I do business."

"Ah. I guess I did overstep my boundary a bit. Sorry." She winced apologetically. Among immortals there were certain unspoken taboos. One of the big ones was that it was highly looked down upon to inquire about another immortal's major defining traumatic experiences without reason, especially ones that left severe impacts on the other's personality. The only exception to the rule was if it was related to something important at stake.

It went doubly so for the founding members of the Family. As much as the five wailed on one another, it was well known in the multiverse that any one of them would wreck all of existence for one another, innocents be damned. When someone crossed a line regarding one of the siblings, they crossed a line with all of them…

And the Family had VERY well established lines that everyone knew not to cross without consequence.

Granted, it was hard for anyone to discuss how their loved family member lost his sanity to the point of practically becoming a completely different person.

Shadow hadn't even been awake in time to meet her brother one last time before the change. The first time she had met her sibling after being initially sealed away with Zuzushi… wasn't a pleasant one for her.

No. Time certainly was not a merciful entity to anyone.

Scabbard shifted his papers again before pausing and getting up.

"Oh? Something has even your attention this time?" Sylvia sipped her rum. It wasn't that uncommon to see an immortal to frequently yearn for at least a slight buzz at odd hours of the day.

The male didn't say anything as he swiftly, yet seemingly casually walked to the doors of his office and walked out, not bothering to grab the shirt or coat that he had left on the floor of the room. He didn't need to, as the other immortal lazily watched the articles of clothing quickly deconstruct before her eyes into the flooring until there was not a spot left of them.

She had no doubt that he was wearing their reconstructed counterparts at that very moment. The man was always rather talented in coming up with new applications of alchemy. Something like that was child's play for him.

"My my." She sighed as she downed the last of her hot coco and got out of the bed to put on her own clothes. Unlike the flashy Scabbard, she didn't mind doing things the old fashioned way. "He was certainly in a rush. I wonder what requires his immediate presence?"

o. o. o.

Moon:

"So then, status report." Kakashi cheerfully spoke to his underlings… teammates, as he leaned against the wall of the room."

"Haku and Zabuza should be recovered enough in another day or two to resume their duties." Sakura stated with a shrug. "They'll still be sore for another week after that, but it won't stop them from fighting at near peak if they need to, though it will delay their recovery."

"That stiff assistant of the Mizukage's is good too." Ino yawned. "He annoyed me though so I told him that he still has to wear the neck brace for another couple of days."

"No poison this time?" Sasuke rose an eyebrow.

"Not when it's obvious that I'm the culprit." The Yamanaka snorted.

"Anything of actual use to talk about Sasuke?" Kakashi questioned.

"I spoke to most of the soldiers and ANBU that were involved in fighting as well as the prisoners. Most of their stories match up, and it was clear that this was in the works for a while. We still don't know who organized the entire thing in the first place since the Mizukage and Zabuza killed the ringleaders, but we learned enough to know that the chakra armor they were using was among the older models. They were even dated when we first went to Spring. As much as I hate to admit it, Naruto's unexpected arrival was a blessing in disguise for everyone. Because of the rushed opening, there was a good shot that at least one of the Daimyo would have been killed or taken away from the island by the time things were finally managed. If what they said was right, a good number of them were instantly spooked when they learned he was around."

"Mmm. It's pretty obvious that there is a traitor amidst one of the three targeted parties, however there is little we can do about it now other than inform them about it." Kakashi nodded in agreement. "As for me, I was busy with damage control. The Mizukage was not the most pleasant individual to try and placate after Naruto steamrolled her fiancée and essentially ruined the remainder of her very much sought after vacation. Tsunade is certainly not going to be happy to hear about this, which is why I am personally ecstatic that she will be learning of this through messenger hawk and we will be very much away from her fury. Speaking of Naruto, what have you gotten?"

"Well, other than what Zabuza told all of us, that kid Hikairu told us of another new move he has." Sakura spoke up. "He called it Invisible Black. It's a short to mid range wind technique. From his descriptions it sounds like a series of extreme high speed shockwaves made by whipping out his chakra blades with his arms. It must cost little chakra too since Naruto did it when he was supposedly crippled by hunger, but was still powerful enough to tear through nearly a dozen shinobi wearing chakra armor and the foundation around them."

"I think we should focus more on what's wrong with his head more than what moves he has." Sasuke pointed out. "I don't know about you, but I don't want to accidentally trigger something and have him flip out on us more than he already does. Same goes for the villagers."

"I agree. The more we know how to handle him when we get back the better." Sakura nodded.

"Well let's make a list shall we?" Ino yawned. "Other than his obsession with ramen and fear of cows, we all know that reaching for his head is a no go. It's obvious that it's related to the supposed scar on his head, but I personally don't want to know the details, and I'm the one that spends the most time with Anko-sensei outside of Hana-sensei and Ghost."

"Duly noted." Kakashi eye smiled.

"Well, if I remember the list that Ghost gave us, there were a few other things he's now terrified of." Sakura mused. "He's on edge around small girls in old western clothes."

o. o. o.

Flashback:

""Come play with us Naruto.""

"No. Go away. For the last time leave me alone already. I'm not your mommy. Now where the hell is the exit sign in this place? I swear I'll bust a hole through every wall till I get outside if I have to! I don't care if my insurance won't cover it! Don't think I won't!"

o. o. o.

"Then there's his fight or flight response to adolescent angels of all things…"

o. o. o.

Flashback:

"Pi pi-ru-pi-ru-pi-ru pi pi-ri-piiii."

"… Dokuro."

"Dokuro-chan."

"… Dokuro-chan… can you please stop doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Murdering me in horrible ways."

"Now that's a mean thing to ask after bringing you back to life."

"You were the one that killed me in the first place. This is the eighth time you've done this this morning."

"You seem awfully calm about it though."

"… I do believe that it's simply because I've gone full circle and am on the verge of going on a hysterical homicidal rampage."

"That doesn't sound good."

"No. No it isn't."

o. o. o.

"He's terrified of tea parties."

o. o. o.

Flashback:

"Now then. How did you find that game Naruto?"

"I think you went overboard that time Lambdadelta. It was a rather crude thing to do to him."

"Why. The hell. Did Ero-ni. Leave me. With you two?"

"Do try not to throw up on the table this time. You have a habit of getting blood mixed in with it, and we all know that it's such a chore to wash it and the smell out."

"Oh come now. You were so much more confident when you started playing with Bernkestel and I, Naruto-chan."

"What was the point of making me hallucinate and having me think everyone around me was going bat shit insane till I killed them all in an unstable rage before tearing out my own spine?!"

"You merely made the wrong decisions and missed the flags."

"WELL OBVIOUSLY THE FLAGS WERE NOT BLATANT ENOUGH FROM NOT GETTING ME VIVISECTED THREE TIMES IN A WEEK!"

"Heheh. Oh yeah. I remember that. That was funny."

"HOW?! HOW WAS THAT FUNNY?!"

"Oh you're still babysitting the boy?"

"Oh log not you."

"Welcome back Beatrice. Would you like the next turn?"

"I don't see why not."

"DAMN IT ERO-NII GET ME AWAY FROM HERE ALREADY!"

"Would you like some more tea?"

"GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"No need to be rude."

"Do remember what I told you about not throwing up on the table this time."

"HURGH!"

"Too late."

"Where's that butler when you need him?"

"Someone say my name?"

"She said "butler", not "Battler". While you're here though, clean the mess, will you?"

"Ah damn it."

o. o. o.

"Then there's his weird morbid fear of dragons that can manipulate water and fire at the same time…"

o. o. o.

Flashback:

"Why did you leave me alone with Niv Mizzet AND Nicol Bolas at the same time?!"

"You were only there for five minutes."

"Five minutes of ETERNAL HELL!"

o. o. o.

"Of course there's his aversion to anything with tentacles…"

o. o. o.

Flashback:

"Welcome to the realm of H. !"

"H.P. who?"

"Someone you will learn to hate very soon."

"Log damn it."

o. o. o.

"Don't forget his hatred of zombies of all things…"

o. o. o.

Somewhere near the land of Demons:

Sitting on a small portable bed on a cliff side, the twisted medical expert Yomi looked down upon the clay army of the demon Moryo slowly march by. It had only been a couple of days since he had allowed the monstrously powerful demon possess his body temporarily, yet even so his physical appearance had already deteriorated significantly.

"We are making good time lord Moryo." The man muttered softly to the spirit inside of him.

"I am well aware of that servant." The creature rumbled ominously. "The world has changed since I was entombed. Humans are weaker than they once were… however there is a surprising… weight… that was not present before. Something of great significance is in these lands, though it is making an effort to hide itself for whatever reason, and I dislike what it may entail. Already I can feel its influence slowly affect the world with unnatural ease, dying the scenery its colors without care. We must restore me to my former glory so I may address this issue as soon as possible. It may even be a greater threat to my thousand year kingdom than the priestess…"

The doctor nodded emotionlessly. "At this rate, the priestess of Demon Country will be unable to do anything to prevent your resurrection, even if she should survive my follower's assault. It should only take a few days till we reach-"

"ZOOOOMMMMBIIIIIEEEEEZZZZZZ!" A hysterically high pitched voice shouted from the direction the army had been travelling in, followed by an unending series of unnaturally large explosions that he could see from his position. It took him several moments to realize that the non-stop destruction was rapidly travelling right down the ranks of his clay soldiers before the massive blast of air that tore through his lifeless army without pause became visible, kicking up clay soldier, dust and stone without discrimination.

By the time the debris had finally settled enough for Yomi to see the wrecked remains of the front third of his army, the perpetrator had long since escaped. Through one of the somehow intact heads of his destroyed soldiers, he had heard the silhouette of a teenager of all things mutter to himself about his destroyed tools not being zombies of all things and then run away to avoid being punished.

The sight of his army's remains was but a minor issue as far as the human was concerned. So long as Moryo's soul remained free, the constructs would always manage to rebuild themselves with time. It was what made them feared in times past in the first place.

No, what was more concerning was that it would take at least an extra half a day for the army to reach where it had been before.

"… Master?" The human hesitantly addressed the demon as he looked at the destruction below. As powerful as he and his servants were, even the possessed man had yet to lay eyes on such devastation spawned from a single technique before. Not one that came without preparation at least.

"… I have decided that I shall address that hindrance first when I regain my body. THEN I shall kill the anomaly."

o. o. o.

"By all means, I'm halfway curious as to HOW sensei managed to fuck with Naruto's head in such a way that he has these tweaks." Ino muttered.

"And the other half of you knows better than to ever ask such things. Ever." Sasuke dryly added.

"Aww. You say the sweetest things sometimes." The blonde smiled innocently.

"I'm most concerned with the least obvious of the list." Sakura frowned. "You know what I'm talking about right?"

"His aversion to people in general for extended periods." Kakashi nodded. "Zabuza and Haku noted that he preferred to spend far more time alone than he used to, even around people he gets along with and knows. Plenty of it was meditation from what they could tell surprisingly enough. His natural willingness to be alone is definitely worrying."

"He left Ghost-sensei the first chance he got." Sasuke ticked off the list. "He made his presence known only to Gaara when he was in Suna. He doesn't like crowds. He's more eccentric and excitable. He's on guard all the time. He spends more time alone. He meditates a lot…"

"And he knows he's messed up." Ino pointed out. "I wouldn't rule out that the meditation is a way for him to cool his nerves, regain a hold over himself, and just pass it off as training to everyone." She paused. "Or… you know… he's just spending a lot of time wacking off now that puberty's hit."

"Ignoring the latter comment. At least he's trying to address his problems instead of ignoring them… to an extent." The scarecrow mused. "He's certainly sharp enough to hide secrets from those that know him well enough with minimal suspicion."

"Which makes him all the more dangerous. Imagine what he would do if he was actually pushed into a corner." Sasuke closed his eyes in thought. "I would have considered it hard enough to try and capture him before he left in our current state."

"It's like trying to catch Tora only a thousand times worse." Sakura muttered under her breath.

"Well think of it this way. At least we're allowed to maim the target this time." Ino chuckled wryly.

"Keep in mind that he will eventually get free and be left to his own devices by some point." Sakura spoke up as if what she was saying was obvious. "I don't know about you, but I certainly don't want to be subject to whatever his twisted mind has managed to spawn over the past few years."

"Way to kill my fun." Ino grumbled as she crossed her arms.

"How much longer till his curse on the island wears off?" Kakashi asked his interrogation expert.

The blonde paused before closing her eyes and frowning a bit. "Hmm. It's still lingering something fierce. I give it another day or two still. Gotta hand it to him. He may be crazier than ever, but he's certainly picked up some interesting tricks."

"Hopefully his trick doesn't mess too much with the local environment." Sasuke sighed. "I saw more than a comfortable number of seagulls on the beach earlier."

"Well, the island isn't that big, and it's only for a few days." Kakashi tried to brush off the fact unconvincingly. "I'm sure the damage won't be too severe."

Given it was Naruto they were talking about… the odds weren't comforting.

"Sensei." Sasuke spoke up in a serious tone. He didn't address Kakashi by his old title unless he was serious about something. "Do you think we're going to have to resort to extreme measures to get him back?"

The room was quiet as everyone present knew what the Uchiha was talking about in particular. The fact that he brought it up at all indicated that he was deadly serious about it.

"I highly doubt that we will need to resort to such a thing Sasuke." The eldest one there replied in a slightly less casual tone. "Naruto may be a bit unstable, but not so much that he would force us to rely on such measures. At the very least, three of us can enter his mindscape fairly easily and speak to the three in him to convince him to return home. To be honest I believe that would be our best and safest option at the moment."

"We could lie to him and say that things have gotten a bit hectic." Ino shrugged.

"Too late for that. Zabuza and Haku would have told him before anything like their fight happened and he knows it." Sakura sighed.

"Does he know that Konoha's at odds with Iwa at the moment?" Sasuke asked.

"Given what happened before he left I doubt that anyone would need to spell that out for him." Kakashi replied. "He probably doesn't care one way or another what our relationship with them is, but at the very least he won't antagonize them and risk making things worse for us."

"At least we know he won't start picking fights and starting wars on purpose then." Sakura sighed.

"Yeah. We have enough trouble with him doing it on accident." Ino rolled her eyes.

"We could have done so much better without remembering that." Sasuke grunted.

"Ah, selective memory at its finest." Kakashi eye smiled. "Well then, I suppose now that we are constantly bantering, how about we go over our approaches for confronting him shall we?

o. o. o.

Land of Demons:

Shion sat quietly as she waited for the shinobi from Konoha to arrive. She had been preparing for this day for years. Her eyes were stronger and more controlled. Her powers even more so, and varied. So much that she was hailed as a prodigy that surpassed her many of her ancestors including her mother. While she was a bit nervous, she was more excited to finally see the one that had enthralled her heart…

… And she knew for a fact that it truly was him…

Her eyes opened as she heard a commotion outside. She heard the screams of her loyal followers as they tried to stop the intruders. As much as she would like to help them, to tell them to not be where they were right then, she could not. The best she could do was make suggestions that would ensure the smallest number of casualties while still maintaining their pride. Her guards were all incredibly loyal to her in this timeline, willing to sacrifice themselves not out of duty but out of true concern. To make them not do their jobs would be seen as a great insult and hurt her relations with them.

She had helped more than one of them over the years with family emergencies. Wives that needed special medicine at the last moment. Siblings that had injured themselves in remote parts of the village. Her "visions" informed her of these events frequently in time to avert worst case scenarios…

But she did not have or need for one now. She could already tell he was nearby…

The doors in front of her burst open violently, allowing the four attackers to come in unimpeded. Just like last time, all four were male in identical white clothing, strange markings, dilated eyes, and a sick aura around them. One with a face mask and shoulder length white hair. A shorter effeminate male with orange brown hair. A slightly taller and somewhat attractive male with short long purple black hair and one of a similar if softer disposition with long pink white hair.

"So you're the priestess heh?" The effeminate one grinned with a good deal of sadism to the point that she wondered if he was entirely sane. "She doesn't look so special to me, not with all that gaudy clothing on. Probably doesn't even think we have the guts to touch her like most retarded nobles."

"I know you are here for my head." Shion calmly stated, still kneeling in her spot without a hint of worry. "No doubt because your leader Moryo is terrified of the little girl sitting in front of you."

"Tch." The unmasked purple haired man clicked his tongue in annoyance. "She's a mouthy priestess isn't she?"

"Don't worry bro. I'll do the work for ya." The masked one stepped forward and flicked his wrist, throwing a kunai at the woman's head with blinding speed.

Only the tool stopped a meter from her as it bounced off of an invisible wall in front of her that flashed momentarily on contact.

The dark haired male grunted as he saw his target's lips twitch in amusement. "The rumors were right. She's good in barrier techniques. Normal attacks won't do much."

"Well then it's a good thing we came prepared isn't it?" The sadistic short one grinned widely as his chakra began to spike. With a wave of his hand a massive torrent of air rushed through the space between the two parties at the priestess…

… And was knocked aside as a third party materialized between them.

"Hmm." The dark haired pale eyed beauty mused as she tilted her head curiously and gently flexed her extended and unmarked hand. She did not even bother to pay attention to the massive hole the deflected jutsu had made in the side of the building or the debris that was still in the process of settling to the ground. "No. It doesn't even compare. How disappointing."

"Looks like we have some company." The masked intruder grinned as he looked at the young woman up and down. "She's quite a looker too don't ya know."

"Get your eyes checked. She looks exactly like the priestess if her hair was blonde and her eyes were a different color." The dark haired man snorted. "I wouldn't be surprised if she was some sort of body double she employs on occasion."

"Oh?" Hinata tilted her head to the side curiously before activating her eyes and inspecting her charge with her dojutsu. It also instantly prompted the intruders to be on guard. "Well isn't that interesting. I was given your pictures Shion-sama, but they apparently did not suspect our likeness to be this similar."

"Shit…" The one with pink hair grunted as he saw Hinata's veins. "We have a bloodline user. We can't hold back here."

The priestess merely looked at the Hyuuga in mild curiosity and a hint of confusion. "I am afraid I cannot make the same statement while just looking at your back shinobi-san. I take it you are among the group I hired from Konoha?"

"Yes, however I believe that now is not a good time for introductions…" The taijutsu user took a stance, ready to move on the enemy on a moment's notice. "If you would please get to somewhere safe…"

"Oi oi. You've got to be kidding me. We outnumber this little chick four to one and she's still looking down on us? I don't know about you but I feel insulted." The shortest enemy growled, yet the twisted smile on his face never abated.

"Is that so?" Hinata smiled politely as her stance solidified. "My apologies. I will make sure to be more subtle about it next time."

The air itself was tense as both sides were prepared to move on the slightest provocation. Shion had proven herself to be good enough in barriers to not be killed by a stray kunai, and Hinata was strong enough to bat aside the enemy's empowered jutsu with her bare hands with ease.

On the other hand, there were far more people on the attacking side. As good as the newcomer was, fighting so many in such an enclosed space while keeping her charge alive was not an easy thing to do. All things considered it was an uphill battle for her…

"And behind door number one…"

And then of course an x factor comes along and fucks up everything.

Everyone turned around to the source of the new voice, coming from the moving and previously though ornate decorations behind the priestess which obviously now was shown to be a secret passage.

"Hope I don't walk into some chick's room while she's changing again. There's only so many times I can fall for that cheesy trap before that shit just gets old." The round decoration rotated slowly, revealing a head of spiky blonde hair looking around curiously. "And at the end of the mysterious hidden passage behind the waterfall is…"

The room went silent as both sides stared at one another in mute silence.

"… Something that I clearly should not be involved with." He slowly spoke out loud with a significantly paler complexion before slowly retreating behind the door again. "Please pay no attention to the man behind the rotating circle thing…"

"… Naruto."

Hinata spoke his name out in a pleasant tone that did nothing to hide the horrors that lay underneath it. Enemy or ally, there was not a single spine that remained unchilled from that single word. She had not turned around at all.

"… H-Hinata?" The blonde froze and whimpered.

"Naruto." Her tone remained the same.

"Hinata." Naruto tried to take a cheerful tone that failed spectacularly to hide the fear in it.

"Naruto." She shot down his excuse without remorse.

"Hinata…" The teen squeaked out in fear this time, all hints of confidence in his voice was gone as he began to beg for a quick and painless death.

"Naruto." Clearly the kunoichi was not going to abide by his requests if he did not do as she commanded.

"The fuck is this?! Let's just kill them already!" The shortest intruder lost his patience at the two word dialogue taking place and began to make seals.

"No! You fools!" Naruto shouted in vain as the group in front of them went on the offensive and made the worst mistake possible…

They obtained Hinata's attention when she was in a very tweaked mood.

o. o. o.

Outside:

"Damn it! How the hell is she so much faster than us?!" Tenten shouted as she, Choji, and Shino made it to the town center of the village their charge lived in.

"Hinata's ability to move with optimal efficiency is truly extraordinary at times." Shino mused as he pushed up his glasses. "Though it may be for the best. We may not have been able to get to the client on time had she not."

"We should be on guard." Choji muttered as he looked around to see the bodies that the intruders had left in their wake. "There's no telling where the enemy might be-"

BOOM!

The three looked up the stairs they had been about to climb to see a chakra based explosion launch four bodies across the sky above them like rag dolls.

"Well at least we know where Hinata is." Tenten snorted as a black bow materialized in her hands and she notched a lightning charged sword shaped like an arrow. Despite not having a dojutsu, her eyes could clearly see that the attacked party was not down and out just yet as they righted themselves in mid air.

"I am grateful. She remembered to leave some of the enemy for us to deal with this time." Shino mused out loud as a black cloud of insects hovered around him and he flexed his fingers.

"Wonderful." Choji sighed as he cracked his knuckles and took a few steps forward. "Let try not to cause any extra damage to the town shall we?"

Tenten snorted as she took aim at the one with the dark purple hair. "Since when did you start talking to yourself?"

The Akimichi pressed his palms together in front of his chest like a prayer, only with one hand pointing downward. "I'm dating Ino. Remember?"

"Point made." Tenten's arrow flew with pinpoint accuracy and was only a few meters away from impaling her target when he unleashed a fairly powerful wind jutsu and knocked it off course. "Tch. A wind user. Wonderful."

"Let us begin." Shino crouched down to get a better start. "Why? Because I wish to end this fight before Hinata finishes it for us."

o. o. o.

Back with the very doomed main character:

Shion would be the first to admit that this second timeline was drastically different than her original one in many aspects.

Using what she knew of her savior's past and what she had learned after their initial meeting, she had convinced her advisors to go to the infamous Konoha chunin exams three years ago to see her love in action. She knew that Konoha had been invaded, but she was also confident that with her powers and so long as she didn't mess with the timeline (too much) she would be fine…

She did not however expect for the invasion to be routed as firmly as it had.

The third Hokage had survived. The infamous Orochimaru had been slain. Konoha had fared far better in the war than before. Naruto was vastly stronger in this timeline than the previous…

But the announcer for the war. That man terrified her…

Because she had felt his power, that endless, ever falling essence when he had roared, before…

When the world was burned black and she had woken up as a child.

Actually it would be more accurate to say WHEN she had woken up as a child.

Shion's eyes, like her mother's and all priestess' before her, had the ability to send her consciousness back to a suitable time to change fate and save her life.

Before she had met Naruto, she would often do so by using another individual as a scapegoat in the process. Her abilities had rarely kicked in after the Moryo event to the point that it was believed that the sealing had affected her powers permanently. Granted it wasn't that bad of a trade considering that it saved the world in the process, but still she had never expected to have no more than maybe a vision or two a year after the life changing event.

But never had she or any other priestess ever been recorded to have gone back nearly five years in a single go, and for good reason. She had been knocked unconscious for nearly three weeks from the ordeal when she entered her prepubescent body. From what she had gathered, her mother and the rest of the country had been in dire straits the entire time she had been out.

She had tried to keep her mother alive when she had first arrived, but that was unfortunately a lost cause. The poison that killed her in both histories was slow acting and apparently administered when she was unconscious.

Regardless, the fact that the man who was rumored to be her savior's teacher, and the fact that the blonde seemed to be in the middle of so many more events and was so powerful no seemed to lead her to only one conclusion: Naruto had been brought back as well.

She decided to lay low and not involve herself in the shinobi world. It wouldn't do for her to get in the way of whatever her betrothed's plans were. Instead she prepared for when Moryo would make his move again and trained passionately in her reawakened abilities as a priestess so that she could help him in any way she could when he arrived. Her precognitive abilities were frequently sought after by undesirable individuals for one reason or another, however she had only one person she truly wished for them to be at the disposal of in the end.

Her eyes granted her the ability to send her consciousness back in time to save her from her demise. Normally it was defensive in nature and only worked as a reflex, and untrained she would only get detailed glimpses of the future. Even now this would frequently happen if her unexpected death took her unawares.

However, with her experience and determination, she was now able to force this power to activate instead of letting occur only in extreme situations. It was a draining activity, and could only force it every couple of weeks or so, but it was a power that she was very glad to have. She had saved her home many misfortunes and headaches through it and was now worshipped due to her foresight.

Her other power was her sealing and barrier techniques. The unique style her family had was noted to be very potent. It had to in order to seal away something as tremendous as Moryo. Originally she was only proficient enough to sustain seals and even then with the appropriate tools, locations, and rituals. Now though she could easily manifest walls that even shinobi had to put some effort into in order to work around with but a bit of focus, and any larger ritual performed by her would yield outstanding results.

She had progressed greatly in improving in her powers, just as she knew that Naruto had worked hard in improving his and protecting his home. She knew he was someone who would change the world, and was someone who would never lose his heart…

But she didn't expect her reunion with him to be…

Like this…

"Naruto!" Hinata snapped with some irritation with her hands on her hips expectantly.

"No!" The terrified changer of the world screamed like a five year old as he held on to the wooden supports of the roof in a death grip with all his limbs. "I'm allergic to pain! Especially pain in the form of maiming! It's been tested! I sense much potential maiming in your general direction!"

"Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze you come down her this instant or I will come up there and you know that you don't want me to do that." The white eyed girl stated dangerously like a very ticked off mother to her child.

Said child merely scampered around the roofing like a squirrel and hissed from the shadows.

Shion had to admit, it was incredibly difficult to take note of the sounds of fighting and explosions outside her temple with this little show taking place in front of her.

"Is… is he all right?" Shion spoke up for the first time since the enemy shinobi appeared. "Isn't he one of yours?"

"Oh he's mine all right." Hinata didn't break eye contact from where her clearly terrified quarry was. "My apologies Shion-sama, however Naruto is not part of the team hired to protect you. In fact no one's known where he was to my knowledge… until today…"

"Ero-nii sang didn't he?" The blonde there asked in a surprisingly calm tone considering he was borderline hysterical just a few seconds ago.

"Once I finally got my hands on him." The Hyuuga smiled pleasantly before flicking her right hand out so quickly that had she not been paying attention Shion would have missed it completely. She barely caught the glint of some blue string like illusion before the section of the scaffolding that Naruto had fused himself with fell without any warning and crashed him onto the floor hard. "Although I do believe that you will be undergoing a vastly different treatment."

"Damn it!"The blonde swore as he picked himself up while cradling his right arm for a moment before realizing that his potential executioner was walking towards him. "Oh crap! Uh. Look! A distraction!"

"Where?" Hinata asked almost emotionlessly with her eyes instantly activated.

The jinchuriki froze in place before letting his arm drop. "… Have to be honest. I did not think that one through."

"Clearly." The bloodline user dryly retorted before walking forward.

"Hi-Hinata…" Naruto raised his hands up in defense.

"Naruto." The addressed replied in a softer but no less dangerous tone.

"Naruto." Shion spoke up in a pleasant tone, completely out of place for the situation.

"Naruto?" Both shinobi blinked in confusion. The thing that threw them off the most was the familiarity behind her tone.

"Naruto." The priestess smiled with genuine happiness.

"Naruto?" Hinata turned to the blonde, her irritation abating a good deal for confusion and slight curiosity.

The addressed shrugged in blatant obliviousness and pointed to the Priestess. "Hinata?"

"Shion-sama." The Hyuuga answered him.

"Shion?" Naruto turned to the client in innocent confusion.

"Shion." The borderline white haired noblewoman nodded with a kind smile… and made her eyes glow momentarily. The jinchuriki instantly froze and his complexion paled slightly as soon as he saw her eyes glow in an all too familiar kaleidoscope pattern.

"… Shion?" He knew exactly what they could do and what that could mean, and his reaction all but confirmed he remembered everything.

"Naruto?" Hinata rose an eyebrow in confusion as she realized that there was something going on that she wasn't aware of. The fact that the blonde was no longer cowering in her presence despite her being clearly pissed at him normally indicated that something far more important was going on.

"Mmm! Shion!" The Priestess nodded with a happy smile.

"Shion Shion?" Naruto's demeanor changed from shocked to worried and nervous. Not the childish fear based nervous that Hinata had instilled into his very being just moments earlier, but a confused nervous that had him on guard before something important happened.

Shion merely nodded again in confirmation to his question as her smile turned coy.

"Shhhhhhhion." The blonde nearly swore before rubbing his temples

"Naruto?" Hinata asked, her anger gone and replaced with blatant confusion now.

"Hinata." Naruto held up his left hand in a stopping gesture as he tried to make sense of what was happening.

"Naruto." Attention was drawn to the priestess again as the smiling civilian's demeanor slowly weakened and her head bowed a bit trembling.

"Shion?" Naruto blinked in pure obliviousness and looked forward before he was unexpectedly tackled by the now crying girl.

"Naruto!" Shion wailed in joy in finally joining with the boy that had captured her heart so many years ago.

"Naruto!" Hinata gasped, also clearly not expecting something like this happening.

"Shhhhhhhhion." Naruto nearly swore again with tears in his eyes.

Not out of emotion, but because the girl had thrown her entire weight onto his still very much fractured right arm.

"Shion-sama?!" Hinata balked in confusion, very much unsure of how to interpret this tearful reunion. "Naruto?!"

"Hinataaaaaaa." Naruto wept, though clearly for different reasons than the girl hugging him tightly.

Or, he was weeping up until the priestess pulled herself up Naruto's body and kissed him on the lips passionately.

The room was deadly silent so long as you ignored the shouting and explosions still going on outside.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Naruto intelligently once their faces separated and his mind finally turned back on again.

"Naruto." Shion smiled happily as she went down and hugged him as if greeting a long lost lover.

"… Naruto?" Hinata whispered in a tone that indicated that she was having as much trouble figuring out what to think as he was, only she was clearly not liking it more than Naruto was.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhh." Naruto on the other hand was still trying to process what the hell had just happened.

It wasn't that he wasn't inexperienced with females, or sex for that matter. Given who Ghost was, it was fairly obvious that the jinchuriki would have gone through at least SOME training and experience in the arts of carnal pleasure with some very interesting females by the time he got back…

He did get some good elemental training from Alma Elma and Tamamao afterwards (which was admittedly how he was initially tricked into training with them in the first place). They weren't exactly HUMAN for that matter but that was another story all together.

On a side note, biology be damned, tails and sex DO NOT WORK LIKE THAT! EVER!

The thing was that normally, when he had been sexually assaulted in the past by… well by anything really given Ghost's sadistic sense of humor, it wasn't with Hinata around…

… And he was with a girl that he now remembered he had actually promised to marry in the future back when he was dumber than sliced bread… and she somehow still held a good deal of feelings for him.

So, needless to say, our protagonist's mind was stuck between going on with Shion's advancements, trying to figure out what to do with the revelation that she had somehow managed to not get affected by Ghost's fire, deal with the flaring pain going up his right arm, and manage to figure out how to not get Hinata to absolutely murder him in the next five seconds.

"Naruto."

Given the fact that Hinata was so pissed that she was leaking out a corrupted aura and her eyes were glowing, the latter of the list obviously took priority at the moment.

So, he did the only thing he could think of, given the situation…

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"HOLD HER DOWN!" Waltz Oogakari roared as his arms were wrapped around his suddenly rabid sibling. "ALL NON TRAINED PERSONNEL PLEASE BACK AWAY FROM THE SHADOW! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! WE HAVE A CODE SEVEN! I REPEAT! A CODE SEVEN!"

Crypt's head burst out from the side of a building and proceeded to scream in terror like the world was going to end. Just as practiced.

"FUZZZZIIIIEEEEESSSSSS!" Shadow shrieked to the sky with her mouth literally foaming and her head shaking so much that she was actually making a harmonic sound. "I SENSE TEH FUZZZZIIIIEEEEESSSS!"

Ghost simply drank a beer through all the bandages that encased his head and watched everything with amusement from the sidelines.

"Aren't you going to help out?" Tsume asked with a raised eyebrow.

The blind man shrugged. "Nope. I'm injured. I'd do more harm than good in my state. Thanks for that by the way."

"SHIT! SHE GOT LOOSE! EVERYONE GET OUT OF HER WAY IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIVES!"

"Anytime." The mother dryly snorted.

She meant it too.

o. o. o.

Back in the Land of Demons:

"So let me get this straight." Tenten deadpanned as she and the rest of the team kneeled before Shion in an elaborate room no doubt meant for political meetings. Hinata, who should be noted to have giant pink hearts in her eyes and smiling like a fool, had a little fox in her arms with wide unblinking dead eyes. "Right after you got here to protect Shion-sama, Naruto…" She nodded to the blue eyed fox. "Who was on the lamb doing whatever he does, popps up from a secret passageway. Then you blast them away when the idiots tried to take advantage of the situation."

"Which we unfortunately lost track of." Choji bowed his head apologetically. "We were winning but they threw out too many high level jutsu for us to counter efficiently in such a populated area without harming the locals. We were busy keeping damage to a minimum to follow them. Sorry."

"We will also fix the damages we were responsible for to the grounds before we leave as well." Shino added.

"I said I'll get rid of the results of my jutsu. Don't rub it in." The Akimichi grumbled sullenly.

"It is not my fault that you did the most notable damage outside." The Aburame shifted his glasses.

"It was either that or get barbecued in an stone oven!" The biggest of the group threw his hands in the air.

"And while we were busting our asses, Hinata was busy trying to put Konoha's walking disaster magnet on a leash again, when our client suddenly makes out in front with him from out of nowhere. So Naruto, being who he is, turned himself into a tiny fox to avoid the oncoming apocalypse on his soul and thus has rendered our leader into a gushing little girl."

"Naruto soft and fuzzy." Hinata smiled to herself happily while squeezing her boyfriend in between her breasts.

"Kill. Me." The fox mentally spoke to his friends.

"There are a few details glossed over, however yes that is the current situation." Shion smiled hesitantly, not exactly sure what to make of it.

"If I may ask Shion-sama… why did you um…" Choji paused as he glanced at Hinata warily. "Do what you did with Naruto?"

Everyone there pretended to ignore the very brief wave of violent intent that washed past their nerves. They also did not pay attention to its source.

The priestess blushed with some embarrassment from the shinobi's and her guard's stares. "I'm afraid that is a private matter that I do not wish to speak at this moment. My apologies."

"Well uh, it's not us that you'll have to ultimately apologize to in the end." The largest one there laughed nervously as he glanced at Hinata in her apparent blissfully unaware state. "Hinata is somewhat, attached to Naruto."

"I love my soft and fuzzy chibi Naruto-kun." Hinata gushed as she rubbed her cheek on top of the motionless fox's head.

"Understatement of the century." Tenten muttered under her breath.

"This will not end will for anyone. You are clearly aware of this. The only proper course of action in this situation is to kill me. Now go! Go be proactive!"

"I believe what the point my comrade is trying to make is that at some point we will have to separate these two, and once that happens our leader may not be the most… amicable individual in your presence." Shino elaborated. "Professional yes, but I doubt that she will be, pleasant, once she remembers your actions."

Shion looked at Hinata and Naruto skeptically, prompting the human of the pair to squeeze the latter reflexively. "I see your point, but if they are so close, then why…?"

"Hinata is also one of the handful of people in Konoha that Naruto genuinely fears angering." Tenten grinned with a hint of satisfaction. "And trust me, he's really screwed the pooch recently."

"Yes I have, and as such I deserve punishment. How about execution? Nice, fast, and all of you have been trained to do it in the blink of an eye since before puberty. Glad we had this discussion. Now how about we get on with what we agreed on?"

"Regardless, it appears that given the situation, even though Naruto is not on our assigned team, he will be accompanying us for the mission in his current state." Shino observed, looking at the fox for several moments before standing up. "If you will excuse me for a moment."

"Huh?" Tenten blinked in confusion as the Aburame disappeared with a shunshin that left no smoke. "Where are you going Shino? Choji do you have any idea what's up with him?"

The Akimichi was busy pinching the bridge of his nose. "No. At the moment I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I'm actually on a mission with Naruto. You know that this can't end well."

"Can't end well?" Shion blinked in confusion. "What do you mean by that?"

Tenten laughed nervously. "Ah. Well. The thing Shion-sama… is kinda… missions with Naruto involved have a tendency of getting… messy. Real fast. In fact, out of our group, Choji, me and Shino are the only ones that haven't-"

"YES! FUCKING FINALLY!" An unfamiliar voice shouted at the top of his lungs from outside, interrupting the kunoichi's explanation.

"Uh…" Choji blinked in confusion as he turned around. "Who was that?"

"That was Shino silly." Hinata dreamily answered, still only halfway in reality. "He sounds really happy."

"I'M NOT LEFT OUT OF THE LOG DAMN ACTION FOR ONCE!"

"Holy crap." Tenten's eyes were wide in shock. "I don't think I've ever hear an Aburame be so loud before."

"I don't think I've ever heard of an Aburame being loud period." Choji's expression matched Tenten's.

"I am disappointed in the lack of killing me that is happening. Rectify this." Naruto mentally commanded.

"I WILL NOT BE BLUE BALLED THIS TIME!"

"Uh… Hinata? Does Shino have some repressed emotions that he hasn't been sharing with the rest of us?" Tenten asked hesitantly.

"Oh it's nothing serious." The Hyuuga replied without hesitation. "He just feels constantly ignored and inadequate since he never seems to be picked or around whenever one of the larger missions comes by. From what he's said it's a constant occurrence that happens to many in his clan."

"Why didn't he speak up about it?" Choji laughed nervously.

"Because your father was a horse and your mother reeks of elderberries! Are you mad? Good! Now kill me!"

"He did. Problem is that most Aburame tend to be easily ignored or forgotten when it comes to picking people out. What with the way they act and the way they dress. They're not exactly the most outgoing people in most senses you know." Hinata's euphoric smile was really starting to creep everyone out.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!"

"Do remind me of this when I'm picking out teammates for my next mission will you?" Choji shivered in fear. The thought of pushing an Aburame over the edge had suddenly become a new fear of his.

"Only if you do the same buddy." Tenten laughed nervously.

"I realize that this is indeed a daunting quest I have tasked you with my comrades. The might of the great beast Hinata is not one that many would willingly invoke. However I believe that with your combined might you can surpass the challenges ahead, and cut my fucking head off."

Shino warped into reality in the exact spot he had left, as stoic as ever. "I apologize for taking so long. Have I missed anything?"

"Nothing of significance Aburame-san." Shion smiled hesitantly.

"Shino. As the future savior of the world I demand you strike me down now." Naruto's dead gaze turned to the returning insect user.

"I see." He replied absently with his glasses flashing momentarily. "So how shall we proceed from here?"

"Don't you dare ignore me. I know you heard my orders."

"Technically speaking, I'm your superior officer. You're still a chunin and everyone else our age is special jonin or higher now." Shino mentally replied, well versed in this form of silent communication.

"Mother fucker! Everyone blasted past me again?! I can't catch a break!" The fox's eye twitched for several seconds, but otherwise did not move in the slightest.

"If it makes you feel any better, we still consider you the most terrifying non-Oogakari individual from Konoha."

"Really?"

"No. That's a lie. Hinata stole that position from you years ago. You're more of a source of bad luck to us now."

"That's it. The second I get back I'm going to wreck at least two teams at once and put the fear of me back into everyone. Possibly traumatize some genin as well to ensure that the fear sticks for the next generation."

"I'll keep that in mind. By the way, how would you save the world if we did kill you?"

"I'd find a way around it. It wouldn't be the first time."

"What unnerves me the most is that I honestly believe you are speaking the truth." The Aburame sweatdropped.

"I must go to the location of where the demon Moryo's body is sealed in the land of Swamps so I can reinforce the protections on it. After I do that he won't be able to even come close to it for at least another hundred years and his powers in general will be weakened." Shion replied, however the shinobi there couldn't help but notice her tone indicated that she was not worried in the slightest about the current situation. "It will take several days to get there, and I fear that we will be attacked by those four shinobi and Moryo's army en route."

"Demon huh?" Tenten grinned dryly as her eyes shifted from Naruto to her male teammates and back to Naruto again. "Sounds interesting."

"I can already tell how this is going to end." Choji groaned.

"Yesssssssss." Shino pumped a fist in victory.

"You do realize that your goal is to ultimately ensure that the demon doesn't return to his body, right?" Naruto's dead eyes momentarily deadpanned.

"But we are also aware of the odds of that actually happening while you're around." The three leered at the fox, knowing exactly what was going through his mind this time.

Hinata squeezed Naruto reflexively, misinterpreting their stares for another reason entirely. "No! You can't have him! He's mine!"

"Then kill me and end the curse. You'd be killing two birds with one stone. It's basic economics! The fate of the world lies in your hands!" The jinchuriki all but glared back at them.

"Between a rampaging demon with an army and an angry Hinata, we'll take the demon." The three deadpanned.

"Cowards! How dare you take the easy way out!"

Shion coughed, grabbing everyone's attention. "I know this may be a bit out of place, but I believe that despite Naruto-san's untimely appearance and his reputation, I believe that this would be for the best. In fact I had requested him personally to be on this mission."

The four human shinobi blinked in confusion before looking at one another to see if someone knew of this. "Sorry, but this is the first time I'm hearing of this." Tenten spoke for the three of them.

"Ah well I thought that it would be good to have the infamous Feral Gale as part of my security given his track record when it comes to escort missions." Shion looked away embarrassed and with a slight blush. "Also, the thing is that there is a second part to this mission. After everything is set and done, I had requested to be escorted to Konoha."

"My self preservation senses are tingling." Naruto leered at the priestess. "They are only set off by events that will cause me great pain and anguish of the variety that I can't shrug off with my fucked up behavior. Shion, for the love of all that is holy please do not go into further detail. I don't think I can handle any more punishment for the day."

"Really?" Choji blinked in confusion. "What business do you have in Konoha?"

The white haired girl coughed, the blush still on her face. "Ah, well, I am afraid that is of a private matter that I do not wish to discuss for the moment."

"… And suddenly I have an even greater urge to not go back home after this than I did before."

o. o. o.

Somewhere in Demon Country:

"We failed." The four shinobi brothers crouched on one knee with their heads down in front of their leader. "The priestess hired some shinobi from Konoha to protect her. They were stronger than we thought and we ended up wasting the chakra you gave us in order to escape."

"I see." The twisted doctor closed his eyes, betraying no emotion. "Konoha has been gaining a reputation as of late for their latest generation. I can only assume that you have encountered some of them."

"They wouldn't have stood a chance against us if we had more of your power." The masked brother growled eagerly. "We almost had that fat one before we ran out of juice."

They didn't bother to mention that "the fat one" had nearly killed them all at least three times each before they had gotten to that point with a well timed collaboration technique. Their pride wouldn't let them.

"It will take some more planning to address the situation, however the situation is far from unmanageable." The pink haired eldest sibling consoled his master.

"See to it that it isn't." The middle aged man evenly replied as several more creatures melted out of the darkness around him and embedded themselves into the eldest.

"We won't disappoint you again boss." The masked one grinned anxiously.

Moments later the four had disappeared.

"… I am not the one you need to fear disappointing." The now lonesome male mused out loud as the demonic spirit in him shifted unnaturally.

o. o. o.

Later that Night:

"Are you sure letting this guy come was a good idea?" Tenten sighed as she glanced at Shion's personal bodyguard Taruho as he treated the priestess' bruises from travelling. "We could easily keep this pace up for days without him."

"He was capable enough to keep up with us for this long." Shino shifted his glasses as he casually leaned up against a tree. In the darkness, only Hinata would have been able to see the countless insects he had scouting the one mile radius around them. "We merely stopped due to the fact that it would not be in our best interests for Shion-sama to arrive at the shrine exhausted."

"All in all she's taking the situation better than most royalty." Choji shrugged. "Travelling rations. No fire. Long trips on my back. Most daimyo would have cracked by now."

Naruto's eyebrow (still in fox form) twitched as he recalled his first time travelling with the girl. The amount of food she had thrown in literally everyone's faces on their first night would have been enough to throw the Akimichi into a blind rage. "Oh Choji my friend you have no idea…"

"Staying rested will ensure that we will be able to deal with those annoying shinobi should they come later." Hinata lectured, still in a dazed tone with Naruto in her hands.

"Excuse me, but can I ask why Naruto is still in a fox's body?" Shion asked curiously.

"Two legs bad. Four legs good."

"He's still like that because the second he changes back Hinata will maim him horrifically." Tenten chuckled. "Not that he doesn't deserve it, but to be honest seeing him like this for so long is almost punishment enough."

"I feel your love Tenten. It feels like your soul. Covered in sharp objects."

"But won't that prevent him from helping out on the mission?" The white haired girl tilted her head to the side in confusion.

The shinobi there paused for a moment before glancing at one another skeptically before they all laughed dryly and Choji spoke up. "Sorry for confusing you Shion-sama, but we have no intention of letting Naruto participating in the mission."

"What?" Taruho blinked in confusion and stood up. "Why wouldn't you? He's a great asset!"

"I want his hat." The supposed great asset looked at the servant's rather tall and cumbersome headpiece.

"It's a stupid and selfish reason, but one that we all agree on." Tenten grinned with a glint in her eye. "Please don't think any less for us."

"Keep in mind that Naruto was here by sheer happenstance." Shino nodded his head. "Had he not appeared at all the situation would not have changed in the slightest."

There was a brief pause as everyone watched Hinata sigh in content and rubbed her head on top of Naruto's for the xth time that day.

"Wouldn't go that far Shino." Tenten laughed. "Haven't seen Hinata that blissfully happy in years."

"Because of your inactivity I am going to die like this. Stuck between the deceptively supple mounds of fear incarnate. Unable to return to the world of man and ramen. I hope you are happy with yourselves."

"They are that close then?" Shion longingly looked at Naruto with an unreadable expression on her face.

The sane Konoha shinobi looked at one another for a few moments before Shino spoke up. "It would be difficult to find someone closer to Naruto than Hinata is. Despite their behavior, I would not find it unbelievable if they would be willing to die for one another."

"But he's died for me once already…" Shion reminded herself, giving her the confidence to continue with her plans. "I see. I am a bit envious then. Rare is it that-!"

Tingle

The priestess' eyes widened and took on a kaleidoscopic image for several seconds before it faded away and she sank to her knees.

"Shion-sama!" Taruho shouted in alarm as he supported her. "A vision?"

"Oh?" Tenten frowned. "So that was one of her famed accurate predictions then?"

"Something certainly just happened." Choji grimaced. "Even I could feel something was off right then."

"A minor distortion." Shino noted. "Small, but distinct. The rumors of her powers seem to be more accurate than we assumed."

"An explosion…" The priestess whispered. "We were stopped by a man… and Naruto held him off of us… and shortly after that a massive explosion unlike anything I have ever seen went off where he was and blew us away…"

The group was silent at the declaration before turning to the fox warily.

Said fox simply yawned in boredom, clearly not taking the girl's prediction seriously.

"An explosion huh?" Tenten leered at the fox. "Well that was the most likely way we thought you were going to get killed if it wasn't by Hinata."

"Third on the list was me finally loosing it and everyone joining together to put my rampaging self down." Naruto mused offhandedly. "Fourth was me loosing it and doing something so incredibly stupid that everyone joined together to put my retarded self down. Fifth was ramen overdose."

"Did he have to take us out with him?" Choji groaned.

"No. No one is taking my Naruto away from me. That includes you Naruto." Hinata's grip on the jinchuriki tightened to the point that the topic of conversation began struggling for air and to relieve pressure on his right arm.

"I believe that we should be focusing on the most important part of the prediction." Shino frowned. "She said that it was but a single man that we confronted and that Naruto held him off for us. Which means that he was someone that the rest of us could not appropriately handle, and that he is likely not among those that attacked earlier."

The shinobi looked at one another skeptically. "Did you see what the man was dressed in?" Tenten asked. "Was it a black coat with red clouds?"

Shion shook her head. "No. I couldn't get a good look at him but I'm certain that wasn't it. He wasn't one of the ones that attacked earlier either."

"A third party. How problematic." Shino shifted his glasses.

"The curse strikes again." Choji leered at the fox.

"Hey. Don't blame me. I tried to get you to off me while you had your chance but you blew it."

"You don't seem overly concerned with Shion-sama's prediction despite her warning…" Taruho frowned. "Normally those from outside of our lands would be more conflicted when she makes her predictions."

Tenten smirked. "Oh we're tweaked from hearing this, but unlike others, we are used to shit like this happening, and we have fair warning this time."

"But your friend will be at the heart of the explosion." The assistant stepped forward with a frown. "How can you brush off his demise so easily?"

Choji snorted. "You clearly don't know Naruto. Explosions and him go hand in hand like stomachs and food. If anyone can survive a massive blowout it's him. Especially if it's one of his own making."

"Still working out the kinks on getting out of range for my strongest move, but I will not point it out for now. Not like its easy getting out of the way of an explosion that can wipe out a small country. Probably would make several people shit themselves if I actually admitted urk!"

"Right. The only thing he's allowed to not escape from is me." Hinata tightened her hold on him, inadvertently putting pressure on his right arm.

"Um, Hinata-san?" Shion blinked and looked as the fox began to thrash about in pain. "I think you're actually hurting him this time."

"Don't be silly." Hinata pouted while putting more pressure on him to prove her point. "Naruto is really strong. There's no way something as simple as this could actually-"

Snap.

"Eh?" Everyone blinked at the sound of the fox's healing right arm breaking in three spots and causing him enough pain to pass out foaming at the mouth.

"Oh my Log Hinata actually killed him!" Tenten shouted in genuine surprise and backed up a few steps. "I didn't think it would happen so soon!"

"Oh man. This is bad. I don't know how but I have a feeling the curse just magnified right now." Choji whimpered as his eyes began to dart everywhere. "It's like pulling apart a wishbone, only for the center part to break apart and fly into your mom's eyes. That happened once when I was a kid, and dad's and my life was hell for a week."

"… I am beginning to see why he was so adamant on having his vacation without telling anyone." Shino spoke more to himself than anyone else.

"Naruto!" Hinata snapped out of her daze for the first time since her boyfriend had gone fuzzy on her and instantly put him on the ground for a quick medical checkup. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you that much! I…" She paused as she inspected his body with her byakugan, more specifically his right arm and the blemishes of skin that were hidden by his fur. "What… what happened to you?"

"Why don't I like the sound of that?" Tenten frowned as the Hyuga began to shift over patches of fur to get a better look at the fox's body.

"I broke his arm when I squeezed to hard, but only because it's fractured all over in the first place… this was recent damage." The powerful medic diagnosed her patient. "But that doesn't explain these scars and marks all over his back and body. He was tortured multiple times at different intervals and in different styles too… meaning that this wasn't a coordinated event. There are also clear signs of exhaustion over a long period of time, but even then that doesn't explain the scar tissue encompassing his entire head… the fact that he's scarred at all is astounding given his regeneration abilities."

"It appears that he had encountered something of note shortly before us." Shino stared at his friend. "The fact that it wasn't healed by now is concerning. It indicates that he suffered significant damage when first obtained."

"He's recently been starved too." Hinata scanned his body with a medical diagnostic jutsu. "He's eaten well for the last week or so, and his body seems to have fully recovered from that, but there does seem to be a few lingering wounds outside of his right arm."

"Impressive." Taruho mused as he watched from a distance. "Even in a different body she is able to ascertain his profile quickly. She must be an astounding medic."

"She does have a reputation to be proficient at things she puts her mind to." Shino admitted as he stepped forward. "Tenten. Choji. You and I will be on guard duty while Hinata treats Naruto. We don't want to slow down the healing process, and I prefer him to be in ideal shape should things turn unfavorable."

"Will he be ok?" Shion asked concerned.

"All we can do for now is let him rest. The mission takes priority for the moment, so we will have to wait before giving him more advanced treatment." Hinata didn't look up. "And given how exhausted his body is I would recommend him doing that for the entire trip. It looks like he's been running off of only a few hours a day for months on end. This is similar to shinobi I've treated that have undergone extremely stressful missions gone wrong, but I've never encountered anyone that's had these symptoms untreated for so long…"

She reached for the fox's head again to diagnose the scar tissue, but momentarily flinched as she felt a lingering aura around it. The sensation was exceptionally faint, not even the dregs of what originally had afflicted the jinchuriki were there, but what she could gather was that it wasn't natural…

… No. That wasn't true. The uncomfortable feeling was completely natural in an unnerving way, but the fact that it was there in the first place caught her off guard. Because of its unnatural "natural" feeling, she would have completely missed it if she wasn't paying attention. She had no doubt that it was this peculiar stain of power that was responsible for his scarring.

"What on earth did sensei do to you?" She muttered under her breath as she shook her head and began to focus on the damages that she had inadvertently done. She had no doubts that she would have to put the limb in a cast by the time her task was done.

o. o. o.

Somewhere in Iwa:

Sighing to himself in frustration, the Merchant stood in front of the guarded room and gathered his nerves again. He hated doing this since his first encounter, but since no one else in the organization within fifty miles had learned to not piss themselves in the presence of something that could murder them with half a thought… and was contemplating just that, he was the only one that would continue to do this.

"They make anyone chunin these days." He muttered under his breath in annoyance as the guards unlocked the door for him to walk inside.

He didn't even make a step before he could feel the metaphysical hot breath assault his nerves and hungry eyes upon him from inside the chamber. There was no doubt a beast inside that room, no doubt about it.

"Really now? You're not even letting me get inside before I get such treatment?" He asked while walking inside without care, ignoring the sounds of the door closing behind him.

Hana Inuzuka merely gazed upon him with sharp eyes from the opposite wall. The tremendous ghost like wolf bitch behind her stood without any issues despite being in a cramped space, its head and jaw hovering right over his.

The Merchant scratched his head in frustration. "I try to give you some leeway one time and you throw it back in my face. And people wonder why Iwa doesn't like Konoha."

"Leeway doesn't normally come in the form of blatant lies." The twenty one year old growled softly. Much like Anko she had seen better days, with several fingers blatantly broken, twice as many nails split, both wrists broken, one arm broken, two missing teeth, a broken nose, burns littering her back right side, and her clothes in such tatters that she might as well not wear anything above her waist. She looked far better since first being captured though, and many suspected that she was somehow using medical techniques when no one was looking, but no one could prove it yet.

The Merchant was certain that she could kill him as easily as the serpent woman if she had the chance.

It didn't help his case that he had attempted to use what he had learned from his encounter from Anko to try to fool Hana into thinking that she had betrayed everyone. Despite the fact that she was slightly more compliant with following the rules… well let's just say that she wasn't exactly cooperative after his failed attempt. Clearly he did not know as much as he had thought, else she would have not caught onto his bullshit so quickly.

"I admit," He started his excuse, ignoring the fake hot breath he was feeling from the beast looking at him hungrily. "I may have overstepped my position a bit. However it still does not change your situation does it? I'm still able to get out, and you aren't."

The girl gave him a deadly look that he had no trouble translating: Get to the point or else we will see how valid that statement really is.

The Merchant dropped his casual demeanor instantly, his face becoming expressionless. "You really don't get your situation do you? If I don't get something out of you soon, it doesn't matter if you are a name, or that you are a heiress, because you will be dead, and your body won't be buried under eighty feet of dirt and stone."

"Sing another song little bird. I've heard this one before." The Inuzuka all but whispered, her throat dry from the minimal water she was given. Above him the ghost wolf's mouth revealed a large number of sharp teeth.

He hated these prisoners. Most he could poison over a long period of time or get physical with and torture, but these two were just so damn dangerous that it was impossible to do either one of those things well without the proper equipment. "If what your friend is true, then my village is the only major one that is left unprepared for whatever the fuck the rest of the major villages are gearing up for. It certainly isn't Iwa. Kiri may hold a grudge against us but not enough to wipe us out and risk all out war on the other side of the fucking country for no reason. Now unlike my supervisors, I actually have patience. Unfortunately, I don't decide on what happens to you. So if you keep quiet, you'll find yourself unable to make any sound forever."

The Kunoichi chuckled briefly. "You kill us? You might as well kill all of Iwa down to the last infant…"

"Well it sucks for the infants then, because my bosses don't buy that bullshit you two keep on serving us." The man whispered staring without hesitation. "Organizing all the countries together without anyone knowing is believable, unlikely but possible. Destroying a hidden village on the other hand? Not fucking likely."

"Big talk, coming from the only one who is afraid in this cell." The woman grinned softly, stretching the dirty, tight, and dry skin on her face.

"Afraid and realistic." The man's tone was only slightly intimidating. "Let me tell you what is happening, girl. As of right now, all we know is that all of the other main countries are gathering together for some big secret fiasco and Iwa wasn't invited. If we don't learn anything more now, we will likely kill you, then make plans regarding the other nations out of blind frustration. It will be sloppy. It will be violent. It will be distracting. And when Iwa distracts everyone else, they won't be able to focus on whatever the hell you're trying to focus on. Then everything you worked so hard on falls apart. Now then, does that sound like a more probable outcome of what might happen after today?"

"And while all this is going on, the rats hide until the dust settles to feast on the dead." Hana made eye contact with the man, seemingly looking through his entire being.

For the first time, the Merchant donned a genuine smile. "Rats are rather tenacious survivors Inuzuka. They are just as… stubborn and virulent as humans when it comes to self preservation. Simply not caring at all about the condition of what or who might be in their way if it means survival."

The room was silent for several moments before Hana mimicked the man's face. "Not if what's coming kills the rats too."

"You sound sure of that." The interrogator did not change his demeanor or posture in the slightest. "Rats are quite difficult creatures to kill off completely."

"Ah… but shouldn't that make you more afraid, little rat?" Hana's projection seemed to smile knowingly, revealing even more horrifically large teeth than before. "Anything that would be able to wipe out even your kind with ease should it arrive… well that would certainly be a terrifying thing to behold wouldn't it? Certainly it would be something that the major nations would take the utmost care to prepare for. They wouldn't desire any unwanted avoidable issues popping up, would they?"

The message was loud and clear. As far as the other nations were concerned, Iwa was a problem for the mysterious chaos to come, not a solution. As a result, it would be thrown to the wolves if things did not clean up for them soon.

"Tell me what the threat is." He ordered bluntly.

The wolf's nose flared, taking in his scent. "Not likely, little scared rat. Not when I know you're just trying to save yourself."

A hand darted out.

Blood flew everywhere.

A grunt of pain.

The Merchant stumbled back holding his right hand, now short his pinkie. "Son of a…"

Hana spat out the digit at her captor as if it was another piece of bad meat. Some of the leather glove that he was wearing was still around the base. "Daughter. Get your sex's right if anything else."

He quickly picked up his removed limb, not taking his eyes off of the woman's haunting glare.

She was given minimal food and water, and sleep deprived whenever possible. The prison smelled of the feces and urine that piled the corner of the room that was cleared up twice a week to make sure that she didn't catch anything. She was given drugged food to make her dizzy and constantly feel sick. She barely had any light, and the only human interaction she really had was with the interrogator himself…

After such treatment, her body and mind should be at an all time low. Only veterans should be able to handle this sort of treatment for extended periods of time without breaking…

So why the hell was this GIRL and the other woman still so god damn terrifying? He could understand Orochimaru's apprentice handling these conditions for a few more months before cracking, but not the Inuzuka.

Deciding that cleaning and treating his wound was more important than continuing on with the charade, the interrogator hammered on the door so that the guards would let him out. Given how loud he knocked compared to what he normally did, he probably shouldn't have been surprised by the speed at which they took to comply with his wishes.

"Best hurry. Given how dirty the floor of this room is, I wouldn't give you much time before you can't reattach that." The girl smirked as the door opened.

"I hope you enjoyed the taste dog. Because it is the last treat you will have in a long time." The man sneered, dropping his impassive act.

Hana spat to the side. "Rats taste disgusting, no matter how you cook them."

He turned around and began to walk out the door.

"Good luck with your petty infighting." Hana's voice taunted from behind. "So busy with meaningless squabbles, you never see that Iwa has been the closest to the bigger problem all along."

He turned around with wide eyes, just in time to see the door close with the girl smirking at him in the shadows.

"That bitch…"

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the elemental nations…

"Out one whore house and into another." Sylvia sighed as she followed Scabbard into another one of his establishments, not at all caring about the looks she was getting from those that knew of the Oogakari's identity. By her calculations, they had traveled roughly five hundred miles to get to where they were. A significant length to some, a minor step to someone of their capabilities. "You really know how to treat a girl."

"I'd assume so. My establishments are profitable enough to lead to that conclusion." The man absently replied as he strolled through the building, knowing exactly where he was heading.

"Oi sir." A rather sloppily dressed tall woman in a pink and black kimono slurred, clearly intoxicated. "You're not supposed to go there. Authorized personnel only." She grinned and shifted her dress so that more of her mediocre breasts were visible. "Well, I could get ya in if ya were a customer…"

"Shizuka!" Hissed a woman clearly in her aging years, but clad in a far more proper kimono, as she rushed up to cut the latter off mid speach. "What do you think you are doing! Wasting Papa's time like this!"

"Papa?" The drunk woman blinked in confusion as she looked at Scabbard with skepticism. "This short foreigner is the one that murph!"

"A newbie I take it." The immortal's expression didn't change as the elder woman put her hand over the younger's mouth.

"My niece." The matron frowned. "A no good layabout, but family none the less."

"A feeling that I am all too familiar with." Scabbard was instantly going over the latest sums of money that his blood relatives owed him. When people asked him how much they owed him, the number he gave out was not what the damage was… it was the number of digits that the damage was in.

"Looks like you have another unruly employee Scab." Sylvia grinned as she finally caught up to the man before giving an amused look at the normal women. "I'd be very careful if I were you. He doesn't look like it, but your papa is a notoriously sadistic and cruel person if you get on his bad side. I've experienced it first hand."

"Really?" The drunk woman snorted. "I doubt he's worse than Gato."

"I will address this issue later." The alchemist spoke up before turning to the matron. "I'm here for the unruly acquisitions that you took in. Where are they?"

The mother of the house blinked in confusion. "Those wild things? Why would… no, never mind. Please follow me."

Leaving the inebriated woman behind, the three walked throughout the corridors of the building, travelling several flights down into the larger than suspected basement of the building until they finally reached an otherwise common door.

"We found them about a week ago." The mother fumbled with the keys. "At first they looked reasonable enough, if not a bit dangerous looking. They seemed to understand human speech well enough. However as they recovered they became more wild and tried multiple times to escape. Several of the girls and some of the boys were cut up the last time just to put them down, even when they were still quite injured. The only reason why we still are able to hold them is because of these specialty rooms that you made with the building."

The lock clicked as she turned the key. "Perhaps you can do something about them Papa. I don't honestly know how long we can keep this up if they persist on acting this way…"

The door to the room opened to reveal a moderately sized room that was fairly trashed. There were several beds that were torn apart. The walls, floors and ceiling were scratched up. There was brown food everywhere, and the remains of what appeared to be toys were just as frequent.

Staring back at the group though, which was what had everyone's attention, were three massive wolves with their teeths bared silently. All three had seen better days with burns, cuts, and injuries all over their bodies. Two of their limbs were set completely in casts, one of them had an ear clearly burnt off, and another had bandages that encompassed so much of its head that you could barely see the only eye shining underneath them.

"You certainly were not joking when you said they weren't being cooperative." Sylvia mused as she walked inside with Scabbard without any hesitation.

"Thank you for your efforts. I'll take it from here." The Legacy's Prophet thanked the matron before silently closing the door behind him.

No one made a single noise or sound as he walked across the room to where one of the few unbroken chairs lay on its side, picked it up, and then sat in it facing the triplets.

A single spark of genuine agitation in the form of emerald lightning shot around his body.

Even Sylvia knew better than to speak out of turn despite her curiosity.

"Tell me everything."

o. o. o.

A/N:

Welp. New chapter. Sorry for the wait. Lots of stuff going on in life at the moment. If you read FFD then you should have a good idea of what I'm talking about.

So yeah. Hinata's got a deathgrip on Naruto. The triplets are in Scabs care. Shino is happy. More ominous backstory on the Oogakari. Shion remembers Naruto. And I'm tired as fuck.

Also, my birthday is tomorrow, and GAME OF THRONES SEASON 4 IS OUT TONIGHT! CELEBRATE FOR WE CAN ONCE MORE WATCH MIDGETS HAVING SEX WITHOUT FEEING WEIRD ABOUT OURSELVES!

I'll try to get more chapters of the fic out this year. Florida just took me a while to get set up in.

I know I focused a bit too much on Naruto's condition on this chapter, but I needed to show everyone's reactions to his various states sooner or later. It won't be a constant thing until he really starts bugging out for one reason or another.

SO REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! SEE HOW MANY ODD REFERENCES I HAVE PACKED INTO THIS CHAPTER! AND REVIEW AGAIN!