Take Two Round Two

by Third Fang

What do you get when you cross several interdimensional god like beings, raw boredom, a world of Naruto that went wrong, several years worth of off screen training, common sense, insanity, humor, sarcasm, the Log, explosions, plot, and overall chaos? Apparently a lot of headache medicine for Tsunade. May the Games Begin. Sequel to Yet Again With A Little Extra Help.

18. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen: Funny thing about people in power, they're either assholes or complete pushovers. Funny thing about people in general. They can't make up their fucking minds and be happy. Funny thing about powerful immortals that don't rule over others, they don't give a shit.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OC's and new Jutsu in the story as well as every ounce of pure awesome spawned by this.

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"Talk. Now."

"You heard the lady." Ghost glanced at the wolf next to Tsume briefly as he cleaned dishes. "Speak."

"Don't even try to be funny this time, human." Kuromaru growled dangerously, his teeth bared.

"Good boy." He continued with his charade, putting the latest dish onto the rack.

The Inuzuka matriarch looked around warily. The last of the Inuzuka and Akimichi families had left, save for a select few who had offered to help with the cleanup. The only person close enough to listen onto their conversation was Kiba, and not for nothing. "You, your family, Inoichi, Tsunade-sama, Shizune, and Kiba also felt whatever the hell that was. Don't even try to deny it. What happened?"

She didn't even know what it was that she had felt, only that it made all of her hairs stand on end and even alarmed the otherwise unflappable Oogakari given how quickly Shadow and Waltz had left with Tsunade and Shizune.

"Sensei, tell us." Kiba leaned in, keeping tabs on whoever could be listening on the conversation. "I've spent a ton of time training with the rest of your family since you left with Naruto, but I don't have the slightest clue what the hell we felt was other than some kind of twisted presence…"

"Oh will you two stop with the looking around? I muted the area around us the second you came over. You're attracting more attention than if you were yelling at the top of your lungs right now." Ghost grunted as he started on another plate, clearly not in as joyful of a mood as he had appeared during the event.

Both the Inuzuka and their hounds twitched their eyebrows in annoyance, which in the grand scheme of things, was more in line with their natural behavior around him than what they had shown before.

"Out with it already!" Kuromaru got to the point. "What was that… thing that we felt?"

The wolf couldn't ignore how wrong it grated against his nerves from such a distance, and yet it had felt as natural as any other phenomena. Much like being in the wake of an oncoming storm or a tremendous earthquake... except natural cataclysms didn't feel alive.

Ghost didn't break his stride. "That thing is essentially a manifested consciousness attached to a single absolute concept or phenomena that had decided to focus its great attention to our neck of the woods. It's akin to your spirits of nature, only about several dozen realities up in terms of authority."

He didn't call it a god. That would merely cause a whole new slew of questions that he would have to answer but didn't want to, especially when he had a few that he needed to ask himself.

"If they're so big, then why the hell haven't we heard of them before?" Kiba frowned. "It sounds like something that would have gotten around pretty quickly."

"Probably because the people that are aware of these sorts of things are either treated as crazy, driven crazy from the knowledge, keep all this knowledge to themselves and the select hidden organizations they belong to, or get killed by these things in the first place, along with everyone and everything in a hundred kilo radius." Ghost began to work on the next plate. "And let's not talk about those who grow eyes inside their brains."

"And which category do you belong to?" Tsume warily looked at the man's back.

"… Yes."

"But you're still… you know what, I don't even want to know." Kiba shook his head, thinking better of what he was about to say. "If that's the case though, why did it show up in the first place?"

"That, my student, is the question of the day, and a very good one at that."

"And why is that?" She didn't know why, but Tsume had a feeling she wouldn't like her question's answer.

Putting the last plate on the tray, the immortal looked back at them with a frown. "Because I personally set up means to make sure that they wouldn't have been able to notice the Elemental Nations, let alone be able to manifest here in even partial glory. And somehow it did not work."

"There's more. I felt it sensei, something else happened other than that thing showing up, but I can't tell what." Kiba expression tensed.

The immortal looked at the boy skeptically before a brief flicker of amusement showed on his lips. "I see you've been focusing on your sensor training more than you let on. Sucks that it comes into play here when you can't do anything about it."

"What? What happened? Out with it." Tsume had enough trouble with the man being mysterious when he was being a childish idiot. Him being one when something important happened on the other hand really angered her.

"Gai's dead."

And like that any energy in her body that had been itching to lash out at him vanished.

o. o. o.

"Gai's dead." Tsunade shook her head as she sat at her desk and drank from her sake cup.

She had sensed it. Hell, she had almost even heard his final cry at the end. A mighty, proud call that contained every ounce of his energy and pent up "youth", but it was his last one none the less.

"How did this happen?" Shizune paced about the room while Shadow and Waltz sat in the guest chairs, both lost in their thoughts. "It doesn't make sense. An actual deity came down onto this world? You said that you would stop anything like this from happening!"

"Technically Ghost made the claim." Shadow mused absentmindedly without looking up.

"Someone still got in, regardless of which one of us made it." Waltz pointed out before anyone could jump on her. "That's the problem. Was it the intruders?"

"No, they don't have any related taint on them. They're clean. None of them piggybacked a spirit or anchor." She looked up briefly to glance at something that the other women there couldn't see. "But could they have used sealwork to make a workaround?"

"You know that's one of the first things that Crypt prevents whenever we set up shop." He shot it down immediately. "Maybe something got through the rift without our noticing?"

"Scab was keeping tabs on it almost instantly after the first group got through and after we fixed it. He would have let us know if we had more problems through there." Shadow grunted. "Our barriers are top tier, but sometimes…"

"There's a billion and a half ways the handful of individuals that could actually muscle through would have handled the situation better than that once here." Waltz rolled his eyes. "Even if this was to send a message in some way, it was poorly done."

"Not if was on accident."

"Don't tell me you're using Kazama and his group as a reference. We would have been able to tell instantly if another one like him showed up. Accident's on this level are never clean..."

"Another so-called Warlord trying to upset the balance then?"

"I don't think something of last year's near partial apocalypse will repeat itself for another millennia. The circumstances were fairly extreme,even by our standards. Godly incompetency at its finest."

The Hokage and her assistant watched as the pair bounced ideas off of one another rapid fire. It was apparent that whatever had happened was not something that the Oogakari had planned for or taken into account. The fact that they were taking it seriously never was a good sign.

"Fine. On purpose then. If whoever caused it potentially used a linked reality as a focus, they could have been able to worm their way through with the right preparation…eh?"

She was interrupted as Zuzushi growled from around her shoulders. While Tsunade and Shizune couldn't tell what she said, the surprised expressions on the Oogakari's faces were hard to miss.

"Oh hell." Waltz groaned, resting one of his hands on his face and leaned back in frustration.

"You've got to be kidding me." Shadow matched her brother's reaction. "We're never going to hear the end of it now."

"What? What happened?" Tsunade leaned forward, poise and control completely thrown out the window.

"Crypt just filled Zuzushi in on the details. Akatsuki sent two groups to attack Fuu." Waltz started off. "Things were going well for the most part… Only there was a change in the normal lineup."

"Turns out your one eyed buddy was watching things from a distance like most egotistical pricks that try to manipulate things from the sidelines." Shadow said this knowing full well that her family was included in that category. "Hidan and Kakuzu attacked up front, with Sasori and one of the shmucks that snuck in after Ghost and Naruto came back supporting them from afar. From the looks of things, he managed to get his hands on one of them and made her a part of the Akatsuki. He probably used his 'eye of hax' to brainwash her and learn of how to use Presence. Not stopping there, it looks like he stuck it into Hidan as a field experiment to see how it would affect his performance. There's no other way they could know how to use it remotely well so quickly otherwise."

"The Akatsuki know how to use Presence?!" Shizune stiffened in alarm, and for good reason. Presence after all was one of their aces, their secret techniques that gave them an edge against the organization. "But… but…"

"Under normal circumstances it wouldn't have changed much." Waltz sighed. "Only the basics can be taught or uploaded mentally straight away. At best they could only skip the first six months of training before they have to go through with developing their own like everyone else. In that regard, your forces have a good two and a half year advantage on them at the very least. More in one case. Plus you've learned how to use it from the best while they would have to go through with piecing it together from scratch."

"Hidan and Kakuzu were getting the shit kicked out of them while Crypt was distracting Sasori and their new addition." Shadow got back on the subject at hand. "Then Hidan suddenly started to unconsciously use Presence and, ugh, the dumbass became an Acolyte. Fucking hell."

"I take it that's bad." Tsunade lowered herself slowly into a chair.

"You know how irrationally religious people tend to claim that they would give up everything to serve their subject of worship?" Waltz started off bitterly. "Well turns out that sometimes their 'lord' listens and take them up on it. All anyone needs to do is reach out to the infinite, get said existence's attention, and sacrifice their very definition and self to it without any reservation."

"Wait… are you saying that Hidan became a God?" Shizune's complexion paled dramatically.

Shadow shrugged, more out of helpless annoyance and frustration than anything else. "Not a God so much a hair follicle… or a flake of dandruff… or a fraction of a toenail clipping of one. But he became stronger than what most mortals would ever be able to amount to, let alone comprehend. It's also one of the exceptionally few ways to boost one's Presence rapidly outside the standard methods. Think an out of control jinchuriki that's completely given into their demon, only instead of a demon, it's a small sliver of a universal or multiversal power in them, and the rest is watching from waaaaay up above with a varying degree of omnipotence… and can decide to throw in more power into the mix whenever they want. They're major pains in the ass. Sadly it was more than our boys could handle."

"They almost managed. Hiruzen nearly isolated and segregated him into a singularized territory." Waltz pointed out. "Very impressive really given the circumstances."

"Wasn't Crypt supposed to help out in case something like this happened? Why didn't he deal with it sooner?" Shizune stepped forward almost accusingly, the shock quickly giving way to anger.

"Oi. First of all, remember, this is Crypt we are talking about, so anything we say has to be kept with that in mind. My brother is insane. Rationality can only be defined by his standards whenever he's the subject of conversation. He's twisted even by eldritch abomination deity standards." Shadow frowned, ignoring the momentarily stiffness in Waltz' face as she said it.

While they all freely admitted that they were all crazy to one degree or another, she always had a bit of trouble fully accepting the degree that Crypt had reached, evident by the fact that she claimed that their brother was rational in the first place.

It had been several thousand years since they had been turned into what they were, but in the end it didn't change the fact that Shadow had always been closest to Crypt out of all her siblings, and vice versa.

Waltz took over. "You have to remember that despite his condition, our brother has a certain… slew of habits when it comes to fighting. He doesn't interrupt unless certain conditions are met. Even if we, his family, were at risk, he wouldn't break this habit. More so, he doesn't steal kills and despises those that take his. Say what you want, that's just the way he is. Yes, it was a mistake to send him alone in hindsight, but there's nothing we can do about it now. As for what happened, he admittedly was playing a bit with the intruder and Sasori before Hidan's episode."

"And when things were going pear shaped, considering the fact that Gai's team was still fighting all out and practically had Hidan cornered until that point, he decided to leave them be, even though a God trespassing onto our territory like its shit doesn't stink is something that even he would never tolerate." The fact that the existence had gone through with answering Hidan's call despite knowing this universe was claimed by someone strong was not a pleasant one.

"Instead he focused on killing the Akatsuki's newest recruit, until Gai's team was beaten and he was killed before finally stepping in. From his perspective, it was at that point that they were done fighting it." Waltz shook his head, knowing that it would not put his brother and them in a good light. "He then crippled Hidan, severed the connection between him and the God, and went off to kill the woman while Fuu and the rest of the group ran off the injured Kakuzu and the outnumbered Sasori."

"Wait… so Hidan remains alive?" Shizune stared at them dumbfounded.

The old man knew that they wouldn't take the next news well. "Mmm. Unfortunately Lee claimed Hidan's head as his team's prey after Gai was killed, though I suspect that my dear brother had a hand in it. As far as Crypt is concerned, the man's off limits to everyone except Lee's team now. Most he will do to help out is ensure that the God won't interfere anymore and sever the link it had briefly made, but Hidan kept some of the divine power... meaning heightened Presence, incomplete knowledge of the beyond, of US, and lingering effects on the local environment and those around him. The man graduated from the weakest member of Akatsuki to one of their most dangerous."

"Unbelievable." Tsunade fell back into her chair and put a hand over her eyes. "Be honest, how big of an issue is this, and how bad can it get for us? Spare us the universal laws and details if possible. I have enough of a headache as it is."

Shadow shrugged. "Not as bad as you'd think. I doubt he'll be as bad as Nagato. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if his mind twisted so much that Akastuki dumped or killed him just to be safe. As for his knowledge, no one took him seriously in the first place, just like no one takes us seriously either when we start spouting off higher level jargon. The way things are right now, you guys are bound to steamroll the competition."

"I'm more worried about the other repercussions of this fiasco." Waltz grimaced. "The lasting ones."

"And here comes the headache that I wanted to avoid." The Hokage grimaced.

"Oi don't look at us like that. You make it sound like we weren't trying to stop this from happening." Shadow pouted.

"What do you mean by "this" exactly?" Shizune warily questioned, getting a similar feeling as her teacher.

"Weeeelllll…" Shadow looked away as if trying to find the right way to explain how they had maybe fucked up without getting into too much trouble.

"Long story short, if a heavy hitter makes too much of a commotion on a world that isn't theirs, there's a chance that the world itself will react. Like making enough noise at the front of a cave that you wake up the bats that are sleeping in the back." Waltz got to the point. "There are a million more reasons why we try to lay low, but that's one of the bigger ones. If you haven't noticed yet, anytime we actually use a barely respectable portion of our power for any reason, we're in our training area in our basement. The area's sealed off so that your world doesn't get feedback."

"And by "reacts" you mean…" The blonde swallowed heavily, already guessing where this was going, and hoping against the odds that she was mistaken.

"Resident deities of this world start to manifest. Local wildlife gets stronger and more aggressive. Leyline flows increase. Erratic phenomena become more frequent in places with greater natural energy. Unspeakable legendary monsters that have slept for centuries if not millennia wake up." Shadow began to tick off possibilities on her fingers as if talking about everyday occurrences. "Frequency and intensity of course depends on the spiritual nature of the world in question… and in this world's case, you aren't on the high end of the spectrum, but you're better off keeping an eye out in the near future none the less."

She wisely didn't mention that the ones that were already awake or recently awake would no doubt realize something had gone wrong with the world in general. On the other hand, so long as her family didn't go overboard, the natives wouldn't be able to figure out more than that, let alone act on it.

"It was only an Acolyte that was dealt with quickly this time. The overall effects should be minimal and temporary." Waltz sighed. "There's bound to be some ripples to be seen soon though. Water based existences tend to be more sensitive and plentiful in general in that regard, so I'd send out a warning to the Mizukage to be wary in the near future. Better, send word to Zabuza and have him manage things from there. He'll want to know what's going on as badly as everyone else."

"Still, don't be surprised if human deaths via wildlife and natural phenomena spike in the near future." Shadow shrugged. "Experts will think it's some messed up global phenomena for a while, but things like that tend to happen every now and then so it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Ladies and gentlemen, the El Nino of the Animal Kingdom just arrived."

"Wait, you said resident Gods before, as in ones that inhabit our world instead of… whatever out there is." Shizune caught onto something. "Why didn't Hidan's Presence pick up the attention of the, I don't know, local Jashin, instead of the Multiversal one?"

Shadow opened her mouth to answer before pausing. "… Actually, that's a good question."

"Could be that there isn't a genuine God here that matches the specifications of his religion." Waltz mused. "His call could have been so specific that it just jumped up when it didn't meet any ears."

"That or the one here knew better than to answer the call and pushed it up just to spite us." Shadow scratched her head. "There's a ton of local Gods here naturally, this place being a Shinto branch and all, and the locals sure as hell know we're here by now. Kinda hard for them not to after bro torched the place."

"There are other Gods? Here?" Tsunade was wondering if she was going to be sick with all these shivers going down her spine.

"More like spiritual representatives… or minor fractions of the genuine articles that exist to annoy us. Bodiless personalities attached to generalized rules. Your Shinigami for example. Nowhere near as strong as us, but still an absolute under certain circumstances. " Waltz placated her. "With your level of strength and Presence, you should be able to stand up to most of them if they appear. However, it's better to try and negotiate whenever possible. Play by their rules. There's less potential damage and unexpected aftereffects that way, especially since some of them are stronger than you almost as much as we are."

"Speaking from experience I take it?" Shizune crossed her arms.

"One time a student of ours took out a rampaging spirit going nuts in some farming town. Turns out, said spirit had been assaulted by some religious nut that had been passing through a week earlier and didn't know the thing was the guardian of the land. Long story short, it took a few millennia for the land in the valley to be fertile again." Shadow deadpanned.

"Ah." The woman faltered.

"Yeah. "Ah." There's a reason why you don't fuck with the spiritual and above without being careful and bothering to learn what you're dealing with." The immortal woman then coughed repeatedly, each time suspiciously sounding like "biju".

Tsunade restrained herself from rolling her eyes and noting that it was her ancestors that started the practice of making jinchuriki. The tailed beasts were obviously part of something critical to the world's ecosystem, she had managed to figure out that much. What part they played remained ambiguous, but the fact that humanity was using them as tools of war alone spoke wonders of just how foolish her kind behaved and how poorly things could turn out if handled poorly.

"That's fascinating and all, but it doesn't change the fact that Gai is dead and Akatsuki now knows how to use Presence, if only to a degree. You do realize that we can't keep quiet about this, and the ramifications on your family that will ensue."

That was putting it lightly. The instant word of this gets out, there would almost no doubt be an instant demand for all shinobi to learn how to use Presence and a high stigma against the Oogakari for not doing more about Akatsuki in general. It wouldn't be hard to predict that some people would blame the Oogakari for the existence of Akatsuki simply because they won't do anything and brush off everyone's concerns as if it didn't matter.

"Oooh. Social isolation and peer pressure. Haven't experienced that before. So scared. So scary. Hold me brother. The meanie normies want me to do things or else they'll stare at me funny." Shadow rolled her eyes.

"Tsunade. It actually shouldn't be said, but freely training others to use Presence is bad. There are risks to it that we haven't taught you yet, mostly because until now there was no risk of you lot fighting other Presence users." Waltz frowned.

"Ramifications? Like what?" Shizune asked skeptically.

"You end up like Crypt." The old man's stony eyes never wavered, seemingly washing over her very existence by just looking at her.

"… What?" Both women had to take a few moments to process what he had just said.

"Presence was initially used as a means of defense against the higher powers. Using it to influence the outside world directly essentially means you're forcing your very definition outside of the boundaries it naturally possesses. If you use it too far outside of its limits or get pushed too far, you risk literally shattering apart your very definition. In the end what remains of you doesn't even know or comprehend what it was supposed to be in the first place, let alone recognize what is happening around it." The old man droned ominously.

He didn't mention that shattering the definition of others was something that he had at one point in time been exceptionally proficient in.

"And nothing puts pressure on a definition than being put up directly against another one." Shadow leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms. "If the opposition's self is stronger, it might even overwrite yours. You didn't think that Presence could be so convenient without some drawbacks, did you?"

Honestly they didn't. It had been so long since they had started to train and learn how to use the abnormal skill without seeing any immediate drawbacks that their suspicions had gradually faded from their minds.

"A mad priest just used his to give his existence to a God of cruel empathetic origins. That should be enough to stress our point." Waltz nodded.

"Somehow I doubt that Hidan contacting a God using Presence will do well when the report of what happened to Gai gets out." Tsunade shook her head.

It was always a pain trying to organize her thoughts whenever these sorts of conversations happened. She had to play the role of the student and the leader at the same time. It was difficult to determine which questions to ask were the right ones since they determined what direction the conversation would follow. Should she focus on what she should do, or on the unknown so she could better understand the situation?

"Just say he used it to tap into something old, spiritual, and dangerous like the Yondaime did with the Shinigami. If people try to press for further details, just say it's complicated and akin to a corrupted Sage Mode. It's not that far of a stretch." Shadow picked at her nails. "Plus, it would stop people from begging us for Presence training. We can only train a certain number of students at a time safely."

Shizune glared at the woman. "And look how that turned out. Gai is dead for something that you should have prevented in the first place, and you don't seem to care at all."

"We care. He was a fun guy to hang around and a good fuck. Not often you come across a man that can actually brute force a girl to an orgasm before he gets off. Lots of endurance and self-control needed for that." The immortal shrugged without any hesitation. "The thing is, people die, shit happens, and this entire village's primary function has everyone risking their lives every day, especially when dealing with people like Akatsuki. Now don't get me wrong, we are sad and sorry about what happened. We admit that we could have done something about it, but at the time there had been no signs such event would have happened. At all."

Waltz nodded. "Ever since the intruders got in this world, they've been travelling away from Konoha and the elemental nations in general. They were capable enough to tell that someone incredibly strong was here and moved accordingly while keeping their heads down. Its standard procedure to keep alive above all else. Involving yourself in local affairs is normally a stupid and suicidal thing to do unless you have the time and strength to spare. All in all, they were moving by the book until one of them got caught by sheer chance."

"Really, blaming us for what happened would be the same as some kid's team dying for a mission that went freakishly wrong cause Goldietits here sent them on it and pointing the finger at her."

"That may be the truth, but I still knew Gai very well. The fact that you don't seem to be batting an eyelash to his death is quite vexing." The Hokage knew Shadow had a point. She sent people to die all the time, and she often received both the bad news and the blame from some family members for sending on said missions. The thing was, she felt bad about it.

"Well I'm sorry that I've lost some of my ability to empathize after several thousand years spent watching several millions people die." Shadow rolled her eyes. "Fuck, if I had to spend time moping about every friend that died along the way, I'd never have a happy moment for the rest of my existence unless I became a bigger shut in than Scab!"

"Bigger. Scab gets lovin' from his prostitute daughters. That means he actually gets out of the house occasionally and socializes." Waltz absently pointed out.

"What about his stripper sons?"

"Annual regional football picnics."

"Oh yeah. Forgot about those. Professional league cheerleaders got nothing on the girls that go to those. He's the ref right?"

"As impartial as a judge can get. Not like anyone can scratch a big enough bribe to get his interest. He cashes in on the gambling system regardless." The old man's lips twitched in amusement before realizing that Tsunade and Shizune were glaring at them furiously. "Er. Yes, well, the point is that after living and experiencing this sort of thing for so long, my family has developed the habit of not dwelling on them if it is not extreme."

"Not extreme? You call being killed by an errant God that you were supposed to prevent from influencing this world not extreme?" Shizune had trouble holding back the disbelief and anger in her voice.

"You heard the man's final call didn't you? Even if you couldn't make it out from here, did it honestly sound like the anguished final words of a broken human?" Shadow rose a skeptical eyebrow.

The two mortals paused, their brewing anger stuttering at the woman's words slowly invaded their thoughts.

They had heard Gai's final shout. Even from all the way in Konoha, they had been able to tell that it was the loudest, most Gai-ish and youthful bellow that he had ever made. Full of pride and strength.

The fact that they wouldn't be able to hear it again… looking and listening to Lee when he gets back would be hard.

But if the man in question saw them moping over his fate after he went out with such a claim…

"Even if their passing was untimely, and we were somewhat responsible for it, if they went out without regrets then we shouldn't let it interfere with what is important." Waltz leaned back, his shoulders sagging with an extra weight. "You both know that people like us can't afford to allow each individual death affect us when bigger problems arise."

Tsunade and her assistant understood. As shinobi medics they had seen more death than any other ninja branch. Any specialist that focused in assassination had to do intensive medical training for a minimum of a year in conjunction with physical conditioning before they were taught any of the juicy parts.

"So you'll just make the barrier stronger, attend his funeral, and that's it?" Tsunade sagged in her chair, admitting defeat. She couldn't argue against such a strong point, even if her emotions told her otherwise.

"Lee claimed Hidan as his prey in front of Crypt. There's nothing anyone can do about it now. You have no idea how viciously our brother enforces these things. Last guy that tried, insert uncomfortable story of unsurpassed agony and torture here." Shadow's expression was dead even. There was no negotiating this. "The idiots that trespassed are going to lay low and just try to leave now that they know that they've started something and one of theirs is dead. What happened was, like it or not, an accident. We don't lash out every time something we don't like happens."

"The God on the other hand is also spoken for. Idiot tried to play the high ground with our dear brother in a rare moment of clarity." Waltz shook his head.

"Why do those idiots always think that he's incompetent now?" Shadow groaned. "I mean, I wasn't around when he was at his strongest, but considering what he did… I mean for fucks sake part of the Third Fang is made out of…"

"Shadow." Waltz cut her off abruptly.

"Oh come on, I wasn't actually going to say its name. Do I look like an idiot?" She paused. "Wait. You're my older brother. Of course you'll say yes."

Tsunade closed her eyes and leaned back in her seat, slowly tuning out the childish bickering of the two in front of her. She honestly couldn't care less what sorts of messes they had gotten into in the past.

The village wouldn't take this well. Gai was a peculiar man, but he was well known in the village, and he contributed a hefty amount to the community when he wasn't working or training. News of his passing would spread fast, and she suspected that certain reasons why might go about faster.

The Oogakari family had always been in a peculiar position in the village's hierarchy. Being legally foreign mercenaries, they technically fitted lower on the totem pole than civilians in terms of political power. While they had property, it was really only leased to them so long as they continued to do missions and jobs for the village. Their absurd behavior and frequent erratic activities only made it harder for people to come to a positive consensus about them.

Shinobi tended to accept them fine for the most part. A bit off for obvious reasons, but they kept to themselves and contributed to the Village's power. So as long as no real issues were made in their shenanigans, the group was free to do as they wished.

Civilians though… were still very wary of them for the most part. Entertained at times yes, but still uncomfortable. Especially considering how frequently the immortals maimed one another in public. Many feared for the day that they "accidentally" played with someone else the same way.

The reason why it hadn't been a major problem yet was partially because the general agreement was that "strong shinobi were crazy". It obviously wasn't a universal truth, but it did help make things easier to bridge gaps between those with absurd powers that could do essentially whatever they wanted without repercussions, and the normal everyday man that just wanted a home and food for his family. So long as certain lines were respected, both sides tended to accept the other's presence.

And the Oogakari were strong, generally competent, and useful assets.

Without delving into the absurd wells of powers and knowledge that they possessed, they counted as S rank shinobi to the general public. That alone made anyone in the village reluctant to cause them to join another village… or antagonize them without cause.

They were also heavy supporters of the development of programs that other major clans specialized in. Medicine. Chemical compounds. Seals. Internal organization. Information gathering. Information technology. There were more departments in her military that had benefitted significantly in some way by their contracting than not over the past few years.

Konoha wasn't a technological mecca in the world - that would be Amegakure - but they were ahead of the curve and anyone that looked carefully enough could easily tell who made it so. The idea of getting rid of the clan now would turn all of her R&D departments hysterical.

However they remained foreigners. There was still a general social stigma against them that most tended to ignore for practical reasons. One that would without a doubt fester with this turn of events.

There would be an outcry for them to be more active against Akatsuki, which they would no doubt shoot down almost instantly. Even if Crypt murdered the new woman interfering, many would, correctly, claim that they hadn't done enough. Loyalties would be put to test.

The issue of Presence training would be brought up, probably by Danzo. The counter argument that without proper guidance the user could end up insane was a good one to temper it, but it wouldn't stop some from trying anyways.

Perhaps a live demonstration would settle the issue.

Tsunade's legal power over the group was only as strong as the elaborate contract they had, written by Scabbard. Any loopholes she or her assistants could find were probably put there by the man as a potential trap waiting to be sprung.

She could always potentially spring up new laws that conveniently targeted the Oogakari in some way or another to make them miserable in some meaningless and annoying way. All in all, it likely was the best way she could get under their skin without stirring too many hornets nests…

… However she doubted it would affect them; most likely others would abuse the system for their own benefit.

That and Scabbard had reduced members of the civilian council to tears, literally, without any legal power of his own, after they tried to take advantage of his personal businesses when he initially moved in.

She could hear the arguments now. Many insinuations and accusations being thrown about, including at her direction. Tempers rising. The issue slowly detracting from what to do about Akatsuki to what to do about the Oogakari as the biggest issue at hand…

"There's no need to protect us."

She flinched at the old man's calm reply. Partially because he could read her mind, and partly because she had been so deep in thought.

"We're not the easiest group of sociopaths to get along with." Shadow yawned. "Normal human politics and personalities geared for the beyond rarely mix well."

"This isn't the first time such situation presented itself. We have long since planned for the possibility we need to run out of town due to one slew of events or another." A kind, grandfatherly smile made way onto his face.

"Wonder if they'll bust out the torches and pitchforks again?" Shadow mused absently. "Ogre."

"Wonder if they'll bust out the bonfire again." The old man sniped back. "Witch."

"I'm a sexy bitch witch and you know it." The woman then began to cackle while petting the dragon in an exaggerated way. "Kehkehkehkehkeh-OW!"

Her mocking stopped when said dragon's mouth latched onto her hand hard enough for several bones to snap loudly.

The deep rumbling from the beast's throat darkened the room... literally.

Tsunade shivered as she felt the sheer rage and malevolence in the deceptively small creature briefly lap against her being. Such raw emotion mixed with power was unnatural. "Anything I should be concerned about?"

Waltz didn't turn his head away from his master. "No. She just tends to be irritable whenever a member of her kind trespasses onto her land without her leave. Dragons are extremely territorial by nature, and my lady here is among the fiercest in that regard. Even speaking her name without her permission is grounds for her retaliation regardless of where you are or what the context is."

"Her… but don't we say her name all the time?" Shizune absently wondered, her attention still claimed by the beast clamped on Shadow's hand.

"Son of a… girl you know better than that." Shadow winced as she tried to free her hand. "There's a difference between making a few sounds and knowing her name. The meaning, definition, and power behind it. Until you actually grasp even the slightest bit of that, you can make all the noises you'd want and she wouldn't even notice you were there."

"But once you do… Lady Zuzushi. That is enough."

The walls should have cracked. Buildings falling all about them instantaneously as they were in the center of the calamity.

The ground should have fissured. Right down to the planet's core, spewing more lava and molten material than the surface of the planet had possessed since its creation.

The sky should have ruptured. Storms and typhoons aplenty ravaging the atmosphere on any and all levels, stretching out further into the beyond in its instability to extend past the moon itself.

The abyss should have opened and the infinite should have spilled its contents into the mortal realm, drowning it with its boundless splendor to spawn a new world order that did not resemble what it had once been in the slightest...

But none of that happened when Waltz spoke words that were reality and nothing at the same time.

Instead, the pearl white dragon's burning pink eyes glared at the speaker with a murderous that should have instantly turned the entirety of Konoha, if not the planet itself, into the epicenter of a star…

… And let reluctantly let go as her gaze was matched by cold stone blue eyes that did not so much as twitch, an unmovable entity that was just as unimaginably overwhelming as the beast that faced it.

"Overkill much?" Shadow was not affected by the event in the slightest as she blew on her hand and inspected the holes and bones sticking out of it.

To the side, Shizune and Tsunade were anchored in place, unable to breathe let alone blink. The fact that they were still conscious was a testament to how far they had developed over the past few years.

The old man smiled reluctantly, reaching out to scratch his master gently along her jawline to calm her down. The well of violent malice that formerly poured from the God's pink eyes slowly began to ease at the simple gesture.

"They needed to know eventually." Was all he said.

Tsunade and Shizune could only manage to barely to nod… because they really understood just how little everything mattered to the things in front of them.

o. o. o.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Naruto stopped at the edge of the campsite, back in human form. He didn't bother to look back to acknowledge that all of his friends and Kakashi were standing nearby and staring intently at him.

"I'm going for a walk."

"Alone? After all that happened?" Sakura crossed her arms skeptically, but her voice held a hard tone that was hard for anyone to argue against.

"I'm going for an enthusiastic walk. With a particularly raging murder-boner."

"Well if you have that much pent up energy, I'm sure that Hinata would be glad enough to join you." Kakashi joked, however much of his ever present mirth was noticeably absent.

"As much as I would enjoy enacting my deepest and darkest dreams in a location that provides little to no privacy and sound proofing, I am a professional, sensei. You'll just have to wait before you can imitate your idol and peep on individuals half your age." The leader of Shion's guard replied whimsically without a hint of enmity.

"Don't play stupid. Even you're not dumb enough to brush off something like this." Sasuke took a step forward, a hand lazily on the sword at his side.

Gai was dead.

They didn't know how or where exactly it had happened, but Kakashi and Tenten had known instinctively that it did, and everyone else had felt enough to know that something had taken place at all. Naruto's poor mood throughout the entire day had not only verified it, but likely hinted that he had a better idea of what was going on than everyone else.

Other than the sudden stagnant atmosphere of the shinobi there, no one had made a comment on the subject for the entire day. Priorities were priorities, and the faster Shion's convoy moved the better. Kakashi's mood had only slightly lightened, but Tenten had yet to say anything all day.

Dusk was already upon them. Dinner had been eaten without incident, and while the priestess' aids all knew something was up, they wisely kept their comments to themselves.

All the shinobi there remained quiet. No one there wished for any sort of conflict, but tensions were high for a whole mess of reasons that none wanted to admit.

Throughout it all, Naruto still faced away from the camp, making it hard for anyone to see what his full expression was.

"… Kakashi. Tenten. You two can come if you want."

There were dozens of ways his words could have been interpreted. The fact that the two mentioned were the closest to Gai out of everyone there was not missed in the slightest, and neither that he would go out regardless of their answer. Almost as if their wish wouldn't matter.

"… So it's going to be like that." Kakashi's lax expression didn't seem to change, though his body posture did loosen slightly. "Shouldn't be surprised."

"Sensei?" Sakura warily looked at the man, having needing to take a few more moments to come to the same conclusion as his own.

"We'll be fine. I'll make sure to keep the destruction and crazy to a minimum." The man waved a hand lazily while walking towards his student. "I'll even try to bring him back while I'm at it."

"You do that. I'd rather not go on another wild goose chase across the entire continent." Sasuke snorted, secretly glad that he wasn't roped into whatever was going to happen. He knew that if he got involved after the murder-boner comment, Naruto wouldn't let off on the gay comments for at least half a year if he was lucky once things calmed down.

"You should have just said so in the first place." Shino adjusted his glasses in standard fashion. "It would have saved us from some unneeded stress."

"Since when did that ever stop him before?" Ino wondered, though it should be noted that other than Tenten she was the tensest of the group, something that wasn't missed by the others.

"Is this really…" Chouji's skepticism was interrupted as Tenten silently walked past him in the direction that Naruto had been heading. The usual energy and snark that came with the sword user was ominously absent, erasing any ease that had been accumulated in the group's attempt to lighten the situation.

"Naruto." Hinata spoke up just before the blonde began to move again. "I expect you to be back soon."

With a deep sigh, he turned back to the group. His expression dead calm and otherwise unreadable.

"… I'll enjoy my scant moments of freedom to the fullest until then."

In a blur of wind and some dust that lasted little more than half a second, he vanished along with Kakashi and Tenten.

"… Hooh shit that was close." Ino broke the silence first with a shiver and instantly clung to Chouji.

"Ino? Aren't you overreacting?" Her boyfriend arched an eyebrow and holding back a grunt at the sudden contact. His ribs still had yet to fully heal from the fight against Moryo. "Everyone's a bit tense and pissed, but this is Naruto we're talking about."

"Hell no. If anything that made it worse. This was just like when he showed up after that psycho Han nearly killed us all." The blonde girl turned to the Hyuuga with a feeble smile. "You saw it too didn't you Hinata? I never thought I'd see Naruto that pissed so soon after he got back. I almost forgot how scary he could get when he wasn't being a jackass."

She didn't even bother to comment on his chakra. After years of developing her sensory abilities, she had a better feel for what her friends were like in general, which, oddly enough, tended to coincide with their Presences almost perfectly.

Chouji's was akin to a living mountain. Shino's was the evolution and adaptation of insects. Lee's was the single killing strike of all predators from the shadows…

But Naruto's was the sky itself... sort of. Less the sky by definition, and more all of the disturbances that it possessed, from a gentle breeze to the perfect storm that could envelop and wreck the planet. A subtle difference, but none the less one that was almost all encompassing.

Even the stagnancy that was present in his wake belonged to his being. Cumulated into a sentient entity comprised of endlessly layering fangs, claws, and fur. Whimsical and aloof, most of the time even pleasant to be around, but one whose wrath was uncontrollable be it in scale or location.

She shivered as a gentle caress of air traveled past her neck, and she couldn't help but compare it to the tip of a claw brushing against her skin. Out of all the abilities and powers that she had come across, it was the combined ambiguity and scale of Naruto's potential that scared her the most, both of which seemed almost completely limitless and something that could only really be matched by the Oogakari's array of skills.

She had never forgotten his arrival three years ago, when she and the rest of her friends laid beaten and nearly dead all around the insane jinchuriki Han. The playful and chaotic mess that she had always been used to dealing with had wound itself into a focused and enraged phenomena in a thirteen year old boy's body. Organized. Concentrated. Honed. Every breath of air taken only seemed to take place because he allowed it.

That had been the first time that she had been genuinely afraid for her life from someone that she trusted. It had only been for a moment, and she knew he was angry because she and everyone else had gotten hurt, but she couldn't prevent her instincts from getting the better of her.

It was, after all, only natural to one to fear that which naturally was overwhelmingly more powerful than oneself. More so when said power was near incomprehensible.

She wasn't scared of the Kyubi, its power, or Naruto going wild… ok that was a bit of a stretch, but the odds of that happening were so low that she could disregard the idea of fighting the creature for the most part.

She was just… scared of Naruto himself.

It was stupid. Even with this fear of him, she still trusted him unconditionally. How couldn't she? He was one of her best friends, and one of the first that would actually stick out his neck for her if things got bad. They all knew it… but…

"He has reason to be upset. Probably more than anyone outside of Tenten and Sensei." Hinata vaguely replied, staring at where her boyfriend vanished.

She had felt his emotions throughout the day. Having been in direct contact with him, with their chakra intermingling almost seamlessly…

Anger didn't even begin to describe just how enraged he was.

While almost everyone else had stopped in place due to confusion and bewilderment from the far away abnormal force, Hinata had been struggling to keep herself standing, to avoid succumbing to the seemingly ever growing rage of her boyfriend.

She had no idea why the sickening power rose such a reaction from Naruto, but she did manage to determine a few things from his reaction.

He knew what the power was.

It was something that shouldn't have been in their world.

He had felt heavily betrayed by its appearance.

Last, and most concerning though… was that he was absolutely terrified of it.

"Something we should know?" Sasuke glanced at her. His demeanor seemed to portray that he couldn't care less, but he was the most concerned next to her.

Despite all the hell that Naruto had brought into the Uchiha's life, Naruto was hands down his best friend, close enough that they could be considered brothers despite their opposed personalities. They could read one another like books, and all things considered, were very likely the most dangerous duo in their age group, if not the entire village in terms of raw power.

Strategy wise, everyone silently agreed that combining Shikamaru and Naruto could lead to potentially world altering consequences if used irresponsibly. A mind like that should never have unrestricted access to that much untapped power, even if the Nara remained too slothful to bother with it.

"Nothing that isn't fairly apparent already." She avoided the question deftly. "There's more to it obviously, but that's up to him to tell us."

"Does it have to do with that sickening power from earlier?"

Everyone there turned to face Shion, who was for once unaccompanied by any of her guards or assistants.

"Shion-sama?" Sakura couldn't help but blink in surprise.

"I felt it as easily as the rest of you did." The priestess frowned. "A mighty beast fell, the shattered remains of something grand beyond measure overwhelmed an unnatural force, and the felled beast returned for one last proud declaration. From your reactions, I can only assume that you were close to whoever had died?"

"How did… are you a sensor?" Ino frowned. Ino, as a fellow sensor, should have been able to tell fairly quickly if she was. But that didn't make any sense. From what she had heard, the girl was easily caught off guard as any civilian should any of them try to hide themselves.

"As a priestess and one whose vision spans time, I am more sensitive to the greater movements of the world." Shion's answer was vague in a way that only Sakura and Shino managed to decipher. "Oddly enough, what I felt was not unlike what you displayed earlier. Presence I believe you called it."

No one spoke initially. Eyes darted from individual to individual, looking for potential information in the form of facial expressions or gestures that could help one of them come up with the right or safe thing to say.

"… We could be wrong, but it is likely that one of our Sensei, a person that we trust and respect greatly has just perished. He was the Proud Beast." Oddly enough, it was Shino who broke the silence, and with the truth none the less.

"Shino. What the hell are you doing?" Ino hissed.

"I have reasons. From what I know of Shion-sama's disposition and situation, I determined that informing her of that much would suffice for now." The Aburame shifted his glasses coolly.

For now. Those two words held greater meaning than how they initially sounded. It implied that she may be privy to even more of their secrets in the near future.

"Anything interesting that can be shared with the rest of us?" Sasuke glanced at the girl briefly, but with crimson eyes. He didn't trust easily, and he hated it when people he didn't trust at all knew secrets about him.

"… She has a history with Naruto." Out of everyone, it was Hinata that had come up to Shion's defense. Granted, the heiress didn't look pleased about her actions, but she didn't back down either. "I don't know how or when it took place, but other than the fact that he clearly did something foolish again, she has enough of his trust that he has supported this trip of hers." True the blonde had never said anything about it, but the fact that he never made an argument or took actions against it was just as final.

Judging from the dark cloud of irritation hovering over her, it must have really damaged her pride to admit this.

However, if there was one thing that everyone tended to generally agree on, it was to trust Naruto's judgement… at least, when he wasn't being a mindless jackass. Too many of them had their lives changed for the better, if not outright saved, by his quick thinking.

"Hmm. That so?" The Uchicha's gaze lightened up slightly and his eye color returning to normal, but glanced once again at the girl. "Funny. I've never heard of you before, and the idiot has a habit of bragging about times where he's nearly destroyed everything."

"Don't you mean being a badass?" Chouji corrected him.

"Do you want him to shut up around us for reasonable periods of time or not?"

"Right. Sorry."

"So you have a history with Naruto?" Sakura looked at Shion with mild skepticism, slightly interested.

"Yes. It's a bit private, but he did help me out of a tough situation that I was going through. I owe him a great deal." Her response was well practiced and suitably vague. A diplomatic response that left little room for others to prod for information afterwards.

"… He has changed a bit since the last I've seen him though."

And there was the surprise finisher.

Sakura couldn't help but blink in surprise. Kakashi, Naruto, and Shino had yet to be able to inform her of Shion's current situation, but that didn't mean that she hadn't managed to put enough pieces together to suspect something was off. She had been on this mission on the previous timeline after all, and from what she had heard, the future seeing girl's behavior contrasted completely to how it had once been.

Still, compared to how he behaved in the previous timeline, Naruto now was significantly different. No one could argue against that. He thought things through, or thought at all. He got less emotional about moral dilemmas. Likewise, he was more aware of people's emotions, but seemed to care less about how people saw him. He picked his words more carefully.

And that wasn't even going into how much stronger he had become in general.

"Changed? If you mean he's gotten taller, then yeah he's changed all right." Ino snorted with wry grin. "He was always moaning about how being short sucked before he left. Actually, I think he was the smallest out of all of us."

Sasuke allowed himself to smirk in amusement under his mask. Before he had left, commenting on Naruto's height had always been one of the cheapest and easiest ways to shut him up and send him into a spiraling childish depression.

"He's also crankier." Chouji thoughtfully mused. "But that might just be because he's been with Ghost-sensei for a few years, or because… er, never mind."

He had almost gone into forbidden ground and suggested that being subjected to Hinata's whims for over a week had led to said disposition.

It wasn't that he didn't love her. It was obvious that the two were head over heels for one another. It was just… Hinata was scary. She was a very, very scary person.

"I'm still surprised you felt that at all." Sakura got back on subject. "Whatever happened took place a good distance away. Even most sensors wouldn't have been able to make out what you did so easily. You must be quite skilled." You were nowhere near this competent last time.

To her credit, the priestess only looked at Sakura with a slight amount of amusement and pride. "Thankfully I came to realization early that my life and that of others would heavily depend on my abilities at some point. Should Moryo ever appear, and I survive the encounter, then the least I could do is ensure that my skills ensure that I am worthwhile for other possible calamities." I want to be an asset in this lifetime. I won't stay on the sidelines twice.

"You might have bitten off more than you can chew girl. Naruto's a calamity personified. Chaos flocks to him like moths to a flame, desiring to suckle on the nurturing teet that is his existence." Ino's side comment was unanimously agreed upon by every shinobi there with simultaneous nods. Even Hinata couldn't argue against it.

And that was when a small mountain a couple of kilos away exploded.

Ino paled dramatically and looked around as if she had done something wrong. "Don't look at me! That wasn't my fault! I did nothing to invoke the forbidden balance! Sakura did it!"

o. o. o.

A minute earlier.

Kakashi and Tenten didn't say anything when Naruto stopped in a random clearing. He had allowed them to follow him on this trip, so he obviously had something in mind that didn't involve them in the slightest.

For a good few seconds, the blonde didn't say anything. Hands in his pockets, he merely breathed deeply and looked up to the sky.

There wasn't any real purpose to his actions. He was just enjoying his surroundings and clearing his head.

Casually, he took out his hands and flexed them a few times, tightening them into fists for a few moments before shaking them loose afterwards. Perfectly normal behavior, obviously.

Then he lifted his right hand, fingers extended, and cut his palm with a paper thin blade of wind.

The summoning seal that stretched into the air was not like the ones used for normal contracts. Instead of black scriptures, compressed into near illegibility, the marks he spawned seemed to suck in all the light around them to the point of being perfectly visible, even in the fading night of dusk. Rotating in different directions as they extended, the runes were simpler, but vastly different from the local style.

The most notable part of the seal made though were the two arcing wings that stretched out from the core of the seal, thin like fingers but possessing incredible weight and power.

There was no cloud of smoke, an aftereffect of excessive amounts of chakra being utilized quickly in a small area. Instead, the space in front of the seal twisted and warped to the point that the world itself seemed contorted and indecipherable…

… and then it unwound just as quickly, only Ghost was there now.

"Yo." The immortal casually lifted a hand in greeting. "Sup guys?"

Kakashi had more than a few words that he wanted to exchange with the man.

Tenten already had a few extreme weapons about to materialize and maim him.

Neither got the chance to go through with their plans.

Before anyone could move, Naruto was in front of the blind man, fist cocked back…

The sky lurched, its endless might and existence placed within and behind the space of a single mortal limb. An attack that could not be dodged, as it was impossible to avoid the sky itself, even if its form was altered.

The fist came straight at him with no disguise. Death and wrath of literal immeasurable proportions.

"Oh fu-!"

Kakashi and Tenten only managed to brace themselves after the shockwave assaulted them and their senses. The ability to see, hear, smell, feel, and taste anything was beyond them as a bomb seemed to go off just a few meters ahead. The only reason why they managed to hold their ground was because all the damage seemed to be focused away from them.

What was likely only a minute or two for the world to once more make sense seemed to take hours for the two guests. Once they could physically feel the air around them finally return to normal, they risked opening their eyes to see what the hell had just happened.

Surprisingly, or not, there was not a speck of dust in the air. It shouldn't be that outlandish given Naruto's and Ghost's abilities, but the sheer scale of the sudden destruction warranted some expectation of residual debris.

They didn't expect the mountain that they had stopped nearby to be gone.

Not completely. There was a good portion of it left to either side of the trail extending from Naruto's fist, but for the most part the natural formation had been gutted and obliterated, leaving a smooth, cored out valley in its place.

Staring at the destruction and Naruto's back, Kakashi and Tenten reasonably forgot all about the anger they had been planning on unleashing at Ghost.

"What the…" Tenten couldn't help but take a step back in disbelief, clearly not expecting the sight in front of her.

"N-Naruto." Kakashi couldn't help but marvel at the absurd damage caused by the punch.

"Don't worry. I used my left arm." The blonde evenly grunted, letting his limb drop to his side as his posture relaxed.

"Your left, ah." It took a moment for Kakashi to realize what his student was talking about. Despite his recovery rate, Naruto's right arm was still recovering from his fight against Zabuza and the accidental breaks made when he was with Hinata. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that a punch with that much force behind it would do as much damage to the limb as it would the target, and considering just how much damage the target in question had just taken...

With his right arm in its current state, performing such a maneuver would have caused permanent damage, with a peculiar healing factor. Instead, Naruto merely settled for crippling his other arm.

Kakashi already spied the telling signs of swelling, shaking, and pigmentation that came with likely having nearly all of his bones in his arm being broken at once. Several of his fingernails were shattered to the point that they should have fallen off already. Normally he'd chide the blonde for doing something so reckless, but in this case he really couldn't bring himself to do it. After all, he had been on the verge of doing something unspeakable to the immortal at that moment as well, though nowhere near as spectacular as his student's stunt.

"Mother… damn it kid, give me a chance to plead my case first!" A familiar voice echoed from the center of the destroyed area. "Going Saitama from the get go on my ass is overkill!"

"Shut up and get back. You have explaining to do." Naruto coldly talked down to the man, in no mood for their usual back and forth.

Kakashi and Tenten couldn't help but glance at the blonde with some trepidation. They had never seen him like this before and they'd be lying if they said that they weren't concerned about it.

In the brief moment their eyes flickered to Naruto, Ghost had materialized without a sound, sitting down on a small upturned rock a short distance away on the edge of the destruction made. Despite taking a blow that obliterated a mountain, he appeared intact. A bit ruffled, but no real damage was visible.

At least until he coughed up blood all over his front.

"Eh?" The immortal blinked in genuine surprise. "The damage stuck?"

It was a peculiar thing to try and comprehend from an outsider's perspective. After all, a person managing to survive an attack that obliterated a mountain was already something in the realm of fantasy in several realms. After processing all of that, the idea that the individual, while appearing unscathed through some unknown means, had still been damaged in some way, was impressive.

Had it been in another situation, where recent events were not as concerning, Naruto might have been proud of his accomplishment. Unfortunately he was in no mood for self-gratification.

Ghost ignored his audience as he looked down at his bleeding chest. His ribs were messed up to hell, as were his insides. On anyone else, the damage itself in its current state was lethal, and the pain would render even the mightiest incapable of moving, let alone sitting up so casually. He had outgrown such limitations far too long ago.

Internally, he grabbed the event of taking damage. His wounds coming into existence and the implications they would incur. He took all of the phenomena that took place within his timespace and pushed it back, stagnating it in the process so he would slowly be injured over time, but at such a small rate that his body could naturally heal it as it came.

He had burned away the point of his death, but he stored away the events that lead up to it. It was a pointless and irrational thing to do, but such was his hate for his fire. He only utilized it whenever it was necessary.

Not to say that he didn't know how to use it outside of the bare basics, it was simply a habit he had developed to spite something pointlessly to make himself feel slightly better.

"Hoh?" He spat out more blood, making his smile appear more chaotic and insane than he probably intended. "You little bastard. You didn't compound the atmospheres. You layered them. Not bad."

The single blow itself didn't have one massive existence of air behind it, but multiple atmospheres' worth of existence, or realities, instead. Unless the damage was addressed by a multi-reality influencing phenomena or the like, it would simply linger in the afflicted body until it healed naturally or the body succumbed.

It was a sort of trick frequently employed to deal with the more stubborn existences that dwelled in the beyond and in between.

"I'll layer a kick between your legs if you don't focus, liar."

The accusation seemed to strike deeper than Kakashi or Tenten would have assumed as the red smile dropped from the man's face.

"Careful kid. You know better than to throw words like that about recklessly."

"You failed your end of the deal Ghost. I can call you whatever the fuck I damn well please."

"… Hah. I guess you have a point there." The immortal relented, spewing out more blood as he sighed carelessly and scratched the side of his head as if his hand was just caught in the cookie jar. "No point in pretending otherwise."

"Glad we both agree that you're incompetent. Now what the fuck happened."

The immortal allowed himself to look mildly annoyed with the teen's constant put downs, but shoved aside the expression and raised his hands in surrender. "In order, Akatsuki started shit in Taki, the remains of the government called Fuu back, Gai's team plus the old man escorted her, they encountered two sets of good old team red and black on the way."

On the inside, Naruto didn't know what was more surprising. That two teams of Akatsuki moved together for this, that they assaulted a hidden village directly, or that the old man actually managed to get involved in an operation out of the village. "I'm guessing that explains the "who" then."

"Weeeell. Most of them." Ghost winced, either because he knew that Naruto wouldn't take this bit well, or because his chest was still mangled. "Turns out old one eye managed to snag one of our tag alongs recently, and with his eye of hax managed to learn a few things that he shouldn't have."

"He… fuck!" Countless worst case scenarios ran through the blonde's head at a lightning speed. "How did… if those… how much…"

Kakashi managed to remain silent, but his thoughts were essentially running in tandem with Naruto's. He may not know as much about the outside realities as his student, but he realized the game had very likely changed, and not in their favor.

Tenten, the only person there that didn't know the full scope of the situation, also paled dramatically. She didn't know who "old one eye" was, or what his "eye of hax" was specifying, but the idea of someone with an Oogakari's skillset in the Akatuski alone was reason to panic.

"Calm down. Calm down. First of all, you have to remember that the locals here tend to think that people from my neck of the woods are crazy. Xenophobia at its finest. Even if the prick pulled some info out of his guest's head, he obviously wouldn't have pulled it all, and we both know that knowing the right things is more important than knowing a whole bunch of random bullshit."

"And the reason why the prick can't pull more later is because?" The blonde pressed with more than a hint of frustration.

"Bitch is dead. Crypt killed her and kept the body. They ain't getting anymore than what they have already with no further context to rely on."

"Which is?"

Ghost allowed the corner of one of his lips to arc up, a trademark shit eating grin. "At the very least, they learned the basics of Presence."

Kakashi's and Tenten's legs weakened. Presence was one of their aces, their trump cards. The ability to magnify the efficiency of their actions and techniques was a boon that they kept utilized with pride and protected furiously over the years. Shinobi and civilians alike had hounded them night and day to learn it, to the point that Tsunade herself had to make a law that made it all but a clan jutsu and thus Oogakari and student exclusive. For Akatsuki to know of it…

"… That can't be it." Despite the impact it had on Kakashi and Tenten, Naruto didn't seem to be nearly affected by it. "There's no way. Presence has to be developed individually. Even if Akatsuki learned how to use it with mind hax, they'd still be at the bare bones. It wouldn't explain how a God managed to get here unless the woman in question was responsible, and from the way you're stalling that's clearly not the case."

"A God?" Tenten couldn't hold her voice back in bewilderment. What was Naruto going on about?

"It wasn't the intruder." Ghost grimaced. "To be honest, it caught us off guard too. Outside of trying to get Fuu, the brawl ended up being a bit of a test run for our favorite baby bomber to see just what Presence could do for his minions… or in this case, his most expendable minion. Hidan."

"Hidan?" Naruto couldn't help but drop his guard and stare at the immortal confused. "The mad priest? Why would that be so important if he learned Presence? He's just a crazy lunatic that… no, no you have got to be shitting me."

"'Fraid so." The immortal shrugged helplessly, not making any attempt to calm down his progressively panicking student.

"There is no way that he actually became an Acolyte. That, no! Just no! That's fucking bullshit! Even by your standards they're uncommon as hell! You could have an entire country full of suicide bombing religious morons learn how to use Presence and at best if they my level of luck, only three of them would be turned!"

Kakashi and Tenten couldn't help but watch bewildered as Naruto had gone from silent rage against Ghost to swearing relentlessly at the conclusion that he had somehow come to. While the blonde was not one to hide his feelings, they had never seen him display such contrasting extremes of the same emotion before so quickly.

"Trust me, we're trying to wrap our heads around it too. Even we didn't think it would happen if they did somehow learn how to use Presence. But it's no joke. We set things up so the outside couldn't come in. We didn't make it so that the inside couldn't establish a connection with the outside." Ghost smiled sadly. "The fight was on the home team's favor too. Up until the turning point, Hidan and Kakuzu were getting wrecked bigtime, while Crypt was holding off the outsider and Sasori. Then the proverbial shit hit the fan, and well yeah, you can guess what happened. Zuzushi was so pissed she damn near blew our cover… in addition to the village."

Gritting his teeth, Naruto proceeded to thrash in frustration with his remaining semi-functional arm. Whether he intended to fell what appeared to be half the forest to his side with a single blade of wind was anyone's guess.

"… What's the bottom line?" Naruto didn't turn back from the new swath of destruction he had made. "Where's Hidan now? If he's still an Acolyte, there's no way you're leaving without unsealing me."

That was an understatement. Acolytes theoretically could be as strong as their sponsors if the latter so wished. In that regard, even if Naruto was in his prime without any restrictions, his odds of victory were near zero should things go south.

Ghost winced and looked away sheepishly. "Uh. Yeah. About that… good news bad news time."

Naruto had to visibly hold himself back from maiming the man again. He knew he wasn't going to like this. "Go on."

"Good news is that Crypt severed Hidan's link to his patron. He's still way stronger than he should be, and has some extra info, but all in all he's nowhere near as bad as he could have been. We don't know exactly how it's going to affect his ninjutsu but odds are it's not going to be pretty or manageable without Presence." Ghost started.

"Given how you said it, I'm guessing that Hidan gaining knowledge of the beyond and being stronger isn't the bad news." Naruto's tone could make a desert feel envious.

"… Lee made a claim on Hidan's head on behalf of his team. In front of Crypt."

Kakashi and Tenten had no idea what was going on, or why it seemed to be a big deal, but Naruto apparently did.

The blonde closed his eyes and took in a deep breath through his nose. "… Fffffffffffffffffff…"

For a moment, it almost appeared as if he was about to unleash one of his infamous profanity saturated rants, however surprisingly enough he just let the sound stretch out and die after what seemed like an eternity.

"Yeah. I had a feeling you wouldn't like learning that bit." The immortal grimaced.

"… Did he say who specifically his team was?" Naruto probed. "Did he include Tenten in his declaration or was it the team that was present?"

"Didn't say, but given he apparently did it over Gai's body odds are likely he meant all of them." Ghost shrugged. "Doesn't help that his group is going to be in Taki for a while. Akatsuki really did a number on the government body there."

"Lovely." Naruto rubbed the bridge of his nose in a dire attempt to try and calm himself. "This changes things. How big of a show did Crypt give everyone while taking care of the connection and killing the intruder?"

"Big enough."

"This is going to spill everywhere."

Akatsuki would react to the combination of Hidan's sudden connection and Crypt's episode. Even if they thought that Hidan had just gone insane, the fact that using Presence can affect the game so much combined with the Oogakari's mastery of it will have them be more careful with their moves.

In Konoha, Gai's death would rock everyone hard, and knowledge of Akatsuki learning Presence simply couldn't be kept a secret. Demand for learning it would spike, leading to a rift between those who supported the foreigners and those who didn't, and it would only get worse as time went on. And if Crypt's involvement got out, things would easily spiral out of control.

Throw in the fact that the Akatsuki ambush was obviously a trap set up in another country, an ally of Konoha's at that, and they were looking at a potential international incident involving one of the largest and most volatile assets in the Shinobi world. Accusations and threats would be thrown around for years after this, not to mention all of the individuals and groups that would constantly be digging to get to the bottom of just what the hell had happened…

It was a complete clusterfuck.

The only hint of good news was that Fuu hadn't been captured, Akatsuki's temporary addition had been killed before they learned hopefully too much, and the old man was going to be in Taki to hopefully cushion some of the damage politically.

Unfortunately, the way things appeared, Taki had either been the ones to sell them out in the first place, or was absolutely crawling with Akatsuki spies and sleeper agents. Both options didn't sit well with Naruto.

"Like cramming dumplings down my throat." Ghost nodded in agreement.

The dirty look Naruto gave him didn't help. "So? What are you going to do?"

"Me? Kid, what can I do? You know that Hidan's untouchable now and Crypt already killed the idiot that helped Akatsuki. As for the other morons here, they've been doing this by the book from the start. It was only by accident that they got noticed in the first place and even then one eye got lucky because he got one that was too far away from the others. Even if it was for a moment, Crypt used his Presence, and you know that no one can mistake that for anything else. Even if Scab wasn't keeping an eye on them, they aren't going to start shit unless someone else picks a fight and you know that. Going after them now is pointless." Ghost returned Naruto's glare with an annoyed one.

"Not starting shit my ass. I might have been unconscious at the time but we already had to deal with that group once, and one of them was a heavy hitter. Does the name Sylvia of the Stained Glass ring any bells?"

"… Come again?" In an instant, Ghost's face went neutral. That was probably the biggest sign to Kakashi and Tenten that something really was wrong.

"Fairly pretty. Average height. Silver hair. Past relationship with Scab. Powers focused on conversion and interpretation, not limited to being able to play with emotions without anyone noticing?" The blonde pressed.

Kakashi looked at Tenten curiously. He had heard that there had been an encounter with other Presence users earlier, but had only been given the brief summary.

Tenten on the other hand couldn't believe what she had heard. Conversion and interpretation? Emotion manipulation? Even if that was true, she had trouble believing it. She went over the entire encounter with the woman in her head and she couldn't recall any point when her emotional state had been played with. True they had recovered from being rattled after almost dying, but still…

Wait. They had recovered rather quickly. Not only that, but they had accepted the woman's help and trust unusually easily as well. They had been suspicious at first, but by the end it was like all their defenses had completely dropped…

… They NEVER let their defenses drop. Even when they were near the Oogakari or their teachers.

Somehow, without them being the wiser, the innocent woman had actually turned their suspicion and wariness of her into unconditional trust, if only for a time.

"That bitch." She whispered. She didn't know what pissed her off more, the fact that she had been played with so easily or the fact that Gai might have been killed through her actions.

"… That idiot is up to something again." Ghost grunted uncharacteristically, his mind clearly taking him elsewhere.

"Glad to see that something's actually gotten your attention. Maybe you'll get off your ass and be productive for once."

"… Careful with your words. You might just get your request at this rate."

Kakashi and Tenten didn't know why, but there was something foreboding about Ghost's warning. There was a deep meaning in them that they were completely unaware and ignorant of, but its existence alone was enough to make the both of them afraid to move or risk being noticed.

Naruto, being the focus of Ghost's attention merely took a step back, but still somehow managed to hold his ground. "I am not requesting anything, I am expecting something that was already promised by you. Something that you have already failed to provide spectacularly."

The two held their glares for some time before the elder of the two huffed and shook his head in exasperation. "Huh. You've seemed to have taken after me more than I thought, you rude little shit."

"I'm an orphan that's had a terrible role models that do nothing but mope and whore themselves out every waking minute all my life. You're not the first. Bite me."

"Tch. You're particularly mouthy today."

"I'm questioning my sanity. My current girlfriend is pissed at me. I have another girl I barely know wanting to have my kids. You're being useless. Akatsuki just gained access to something that's pretty much going to ensure that people are going to die and be a pain in my ass. A close teacher that I like is dead. A God just showed up on my territory. But no, you know what I'm really pissed off about right now? Do guess, cause I bet you already have an idea what it is."

Kakashi and Tenten could see Naruto's body tense up during his buildup. His voice never rose in volume, but the sheer amount of venom in his tone was something neither of them had ever experienced before coming from him. Despite his left arm being completely totaled and essentially paste in human skin, he managed to clench both of his hands into tight fists, making both of them bleed where his sharp nails cut into his palms.

Despite it all, Ghost's face was unperturbed by Naruto's accusations and the raw anger directed in his direction.

"… Gai's death didn't affect you, did it?"

Kakashi and Tenten were anchored in place, completely unable to comprehend what the man had just said.

Naruto's fists tightened. "No. Unlike your inconsiderate ego, I still care that he died, but it doesn't change the fact that the God showed up vastly ticks me off more. So much so that I'm particularly seething simply because I'm like this now."

"Don't be." Ghost brushed aside his admittance. "Being more wary of the god is the smart thing. After all, you know how nasty those fuckers can be if left unchecked."

"You're preaching to the choir dumbass. The last one nearly beat me to death with a goddamn placenta."

"Ah, yeah, Kos's kid. Sweet child, although he took more from his mom than his dad." Ghost shrugged. "Yes I'm the fucking pope of this shit. Now shut up before I bend you over and unleash my load of Holy Scriptures all over your ungrateful and unworthy ass."

"I don't give a damn about what you think. A good friend is dead because of your carelessness and I'm so fucked up that I barely care about it. Now keep your damn word or get someone that actually will. If being smarter means not caring anymore about those close to me, then I'd rather be a fucking retarded monkey again."

"Even if it means more of the people close to you would die as a result of your incompetency?"

The man's damning question caused Naruto to pause mid rant and send him the dirtiest look he could manage.

No one spoke for several long moments before Ghost sighed and picked himself up. It took a moment for anyone to realize that his front was once more completely clean and lacking in any bodily fluids. "Inner turmoil aside, you do have a point. I did give you my word that no one from the outside would get involved in this little show of yours. I'll say it again, there's nothing I can do to change what's already happened, but the fact that Syl's in town is something to be proactive about. She's always been a pain to deal with, even when she was on our side."

"And then she got fed up with you?" Naruto snorted, clearly projecting his own experiences.

"And then shit happened that you are not going to learn about." Ghost frowned, his stance no longer casual but one of absolute authority. "The kind of shit I have trouble tolerating the mere memory of, let alone its existence."

Considering the fact that the Oogakari tended to have a "live and let live" approach to life, even to enemies, the man's words were unnaturally severe.

It still didn't stop the teen from glaring at him.

"… Even if nothing happened, Syl would have to be dealt with at some point. Remaining apathetic now wouldn't make up for the fuck up I suppose." The immortal grunted as he casually seemed to dwell on the subject.

Two arms flashed in rapid movement and succession. One from each wind user.

"?! This is…" Naruto blinked in surprise as he figured out what the object that he had caught was from just its shape.

He had not time to react as the man appeared before Naruto with a hand in front of him, his middle finger and thumb ready to flick the spot right in front of his face and presence slowly rising…

There was power accumulated behind that finger that did not exist. An immeasurable amount of weight focused in an inconceivably small space. It was HEADING to HIM. It would HIT HIM. It would-▅▅▅▅

▅▅▅▅ - barely graze his cheek as he moved his skull to the side. The air shifting and dislocating to- ▅▅▅▅

▅▅▅▅ - Curve the distortion, splattering his- ▅▅▅▅

BANG!

The sound of a cannon going off erupted from Ghost's hand as he flicked his middle finger right in front of Naruto's face… and the resulting hyper condensed ball of air that shot out ground a thin line on the side of the boy's head that was no longer where it once was.

"The hell?" Tenten blinked in surprise as she quickly turned her head to see the small perfect hole half the size of her hand made in the tree near her… and the one behind it… and the one behind it… and further.

"A clash of Presences?" Kakashi couldn't help but voice his bewilderment at what he had just seen. Ghost's had clearly been intending to hit Naruto with the attack while Naruto obviously used his to avoid it at the last moment… but what happened in between those two intents felt like static. It was like the world itself didn't know what was actually going to happen as reality twisted around the two events colliding.

While he was no master of time-space techniques, he was familiar enough with them to recognize the signs and be sensitive enough to notice when something was going on. At that moment… all he could really compare what he was feeling to was nails on a chalkboard that was trying to fold itself into two different things at once without breaking.

He and Tenten had never witnessed an effect like that happen before. That wasn't to say that the group that stayed in Konoha had never used their own versions against one another. They had, but it was always more to enhance themselves and their techniques.

Naruto and Ghost had made their actions as close to absolute as possible. Their actions would yield the intended results. Power and speed were a mere secondary factors in comparison.

"It's shitty compensation for what's happened, but you'll have to do with it for now." Ghost shrugged, clearly not making his gift or what had just happened seem to be a big deal, shaking his right hand loosely as if he had just injured it. "We'll figure out something more worthwhile when you get back."

"You…" Naruto raised his good hand reflexively up to the new cut on the side of his head before pausing. Warily he turned around not to glance at Kakashi and Tenten, but the seemingly endless array of holes that trailed behind him.

His body momentarily stilled and his gaze turned up for but a moment, but relaxed almost just as quickly.

"You really are a complete prick Ero-Nii." He spat to the side in annoyance. Whatever he had just witnessed and found out seemed to have taken the steam out of his anger.

"I manage." The addressed brushed aside the insult as if it was a meaningless compliment. "Given the circumstances, I don't see the harm in teaching everyone a few small things if you feel like it."

"I was going to do that regardless. Problem is that teaching with a murder-boner can get uncomfortable pretty quickly."

"Tell me about it. It's so hard to hide those things."

"Humph. Yeah. I suppose you would know all about that wouldn't you."

"Of course I would. The entire family is just one massive conglomerate of murder-boner wielding perverts." Ghost grinned in the face of the accusation. "You should see how big Shadow's is. Girl can't turn without smacking someone in the face with it."

"I figured." The blonde rolled his eyes and began to walk away. "Before you go and actually do something useful, indulge me. How badly did everyone beat the shit out of you when you got back?"

"Tsunade punted me out of my hospital room window twice. Shadow invoked a Bob from Accounting to use me as a human meat shield. And I took the liberty once myself to get away from your sexually repressed girlfriend." The man's smile dropped instantly. "Following those, Tsume maimed me magnificently for my normal stunts, and then Waltz broke every bone in my body after I summed up your condition."

"Nothing from Hana and Anko?" He had thought that man's two love interests would have made the list. Anko in particular never really needed a reason to torture him in general.

"They've been out on a mission since we got back. It's getting kinda annoying actually." The immortal pouted like a child. He really did miss them, but knew they'd get pissed if he interrupted a mission of theirs just because he missed them and or missed kinky sex time.

That wasn't to say he didn't have sex with anyone else while he was gone. Far from it. It was just… kinky sex time was their thing.

"So sad. Really, I am crying out of pity for you. See? Truly your agony is a thing to behold." Naruto's tone was dry as a desert.

"Yeah yeah. Least my betters aren't yandere. How's that turning out for you?"

"I've spent over a week sleeping between her tits."

"You fucker!"

"Yes I am. Now you fuck off."

His cheeks puffed out childishly. "Fine. Might as well move now. If Scab's holding Syl again, he probably already knows I'm coming. Might as well not make him wait."

He turned to Kakashi and Tenten and nodded at them, acknowledging their existences for the first time since he showed up. "I know it doesn't mean much, but I am sorry about what happened. Gai was a good… guy. Yeah."

He began to walk away, body relaxed and carefree as always. "Still, I guess this is your wakeup call. Prep time is over, first blood's been drawn, and one hell of a signal fire's been made. There's no doubt that everyone's going to be moving soon enough."

By the time Kakashi and Tenten managed to regain composure, the man had already left.

o. o. o.

"We're dead. We're so dead."

The old man rolled his eyes as he sat down near the fire in their camp and tried to ignore the whimpering messes that were his two remaining companions.

It had all started when some idiot God managed to worm its way through the barriers of this world with the grace of a bull in a china shop. That alone hadn't been much of an issue to be concerned about.

When he had felt Crypt's Presence spike up and literally snuff out the God though, panic started to settle in.

Family territory. Of course they had to have intruded on Family territory. He knew that something was up from the sealed off world the moment that Sylvia decided to help them out without a fight, but he didn't think it would be this bad.

To make matters worse, his idiot grandson was also in a partial catatonic state. The stupid child actually looked back at whoever was taking quick glimpses at them from hundreds of miles away and got a face full of the Waltz special. It was common knowledge that trying to get a good scan on half of the Family members could reduce lesser sensors into pathetic messes, but the boy had acted on reflex more than anything and was now suffering for it.

"There are always risks, but this was clearly more than what we bargained for." Dimitri shook his head tiredly. He didn't know if they would be getting a more personal call from the group sooner or later, but given that Carmen had died it was clear they had fallen into a deep mess.

An instinct took over his body and he tilted to the side with casual ease, but with speed that no human could hope to match.

An instant later, a small distortion of air pierced through the woods and through the space that his head had just been before continuing uninterrupted through more trees and the mountain a short distance away.

He frowned and expanded his sight back to the source of the assault. A long distance away to be sure, something inconceivable to imagine for most, especially for an attack as small in scale as that. A hundred miles at least…

… And there, as expected, was Ghost. Standing there like an oblivious idiot, innocently acting like he hadn't done anything wrong. The immortal paid him no mind, but the boy he was with, one that was directly between him and Ghost, noticed he was being watched almost instantly.

"Feh." He shook his head and turned away from the event. He had been used again. It was just like that obnoxious man to use others like that.

He knew better than to assume that the Family would come after them. Whatever happened was a major snafu, but unintentional. Carmen had been dealt with probably because she let her greed get the better of her and crossed a line. It was a sad turn of events, but not uncommon in their line of work.

What had nearly killed him was simply a warning shot. A notification that they wouldn't be ignored the next time they screwed the pooch, and also that they could not hide any longer.

That didn't bother him at all. Ghost knew that he had a vendetta against him, but was patient. That suicidal idiot was always far too complying when it came to those that put in a real effort into trying to find a way to kill him, regardless of their reasons.

"We both know that now's not the time, God of None. Be patient." The old man muttered as he watched the fire crack and burn.

It was a different color from back then. A different intensity. A different time. A different reality…

He should probably set up a few illusions up to hide the holes that attack made. It would only cause a second wave of panic if the boys saw them when they regained their sanity.

o. o. o.

"What on earth happened?!"

It was not a shinobi or Shion that demanded an explanation upon Naruto's return, but Taruho, the Priestess' aid.

"I tripped." Naruto's response was immediate, lacked any energy, and clearly indicated that he didn't want to go any further than that.

"You tripped?"

"I tripped magnificently. Go away."

"Do not lie. You may be allowed to get away with much regarding your extreme personalities and lifestyles, but there is no possible way that you falling over would destroy a mountain." Despite the ever twitching eyebrow on Naruto's face and the warning signs his body was telling him, he pressed forward. Such was his loyalty to Shion. "Now tell me what happened now."

At first nothing happened. The two males simply stared at one another quietly.

The first major warning sign that the Konoha shinobi saw was when the blonde closed his eyes and slowly breathed once.

"Fine. You want to know what really happened? The whole story?"

That was their second warning. The tone he was utilizing was one that they were all intimately familiar with. At that point, even as irritated and wary as they were, any and all shinobi there wisely backed away from the blonde as quickly as possible lest they get caught up in what was to come.

"Come. Sit down. Have a drink. Enjoy as I go tell you the wild and exciting tale of how the godly Naruto Uzumaki tripped so hard he blew up a mountain."

And like that, Taruho was trapped in what was one of Naruto's excessively long and sanity destroying rants.

"We warned him not to press the issue when you got back." Sakura sighed as she pretended to ignore the clones that had appeared to set up a dramatic reenactment of whatever came to the original's head.

"I'm surprised he held out this long." Kakashi shook his head. Honestly he was relieved that his student was acting this way again. After what he had just been witness to, seeing Naruto act like an immature, albeit slightly vindictive, child again was relieving.

"At this point, the leviathan had decided to himself "No! Fuck Five hundred heads! I'm going for broke! Ten million or nothing!" To which I said "You don't have enough resources to build that many pylons you retard! Do you even know the basics of economics and sustainability?!""

"He's not wasting any time trying to reduce everyone's brains to paste I see." Sasuke observed, noting the fact that Naruto's left arm was horrifically wrecked. Odds were very high that whatever had wrecked the landscape had to do with it. "He's going to need a good deal of treatment for that isn't he?"

"It would be best if Sakura and Hinata joined forces on that one, just in case." Kakashi honestly wondered just how messed up the arm was, or if there were even solid pieces of bone left in the arm. Or, for that matter, how Naruto kept functioning with his arm in that condition at all. He had seen similar injuries before, during the last war, and the pain was so great that even most seasoned veterans would often scream bloody murder and beg for the afflicted limbs to be cut off to stop the pain… well either that or passed out.

"The explosion wasn't from a rasengan." Sakura crossed her arms and looked at where the mountain had been. "All we felt was the air lurch a bit and then… boom."

"He didn't use any jutsu. Believe it or not, all he did was…" Tenten started before realizing just how absurd it was trying to explain that Naruto literally punched a Mountain into oblivion. "… Fuck it. I'm too tired for this shit."

"She speaks." Ino joked halfheartedly. "Good to see you're doing somewhat better."

"I'm not doing better." Tenten countered with little energy. "I'm just too tired to care for the moment."

"Today seems to be one that's doing a number on everyone's nerves." Shino nodded solemnly. "While you were gone, did you happen to learn of anything?"

"It was then, surrounded by a hoard of vicious spider riding leprechauns from the fearsome wakka wakka tribe, that I grabbed my MIGHTY STICK OF PLUS SEVEN FUCK YOU AND DEXTERITY TO…"

"Too much and too little. Neither were good news." Kakashi shook his head. "Too much was lost in translation from just overhearing the conversation. Naruto will have to explain it all to prevent any miscommunications."

"What can you tell us for certain?" Chouji hesitantly asked.

"Sensei's dead. Fuu's been called back to Taki, and Akatsuki's on the move." Tenten summarized in a dry tone. "Oh, and they just got someone that knows how to use Presence now, who also just died, but not before passing on some of what they knew to the group, so sooner or later all of them are going to learn how to use it too."

"Peanuts! Everywhere they fell from the heavens with their flamethrowers of discontent crying the omens of their forefathers!"

"Are you, oh hell no wonder Naruto's gone off the deep end." Ino shook her head.

"If what we heard was any indication, then it's even worse than that." Kakashi glanced at the blonde teen spinning an absurd tale from out of nowhere to cover his tracks… he would have cried a tear of pride if the situation wasn't as bad as it was. "As far as the mountain goes, it was an unfortunate bystander. Once Naruto summoned Ghost he apparently lost all hold of his patience and decked the man with literally everything he had."

"Wait, you mean to say that what happened there…" Sasuke nodded his head towards the missing land mass. "… Was all from a single punch?"

"I'm appalled on at least two fronts." Sakura grimaced and tried to rationalize things in her mind. On one side, Naruto had just displayed a tremendous amount of destruction in a fit of rage. True he had held back for a good period of time until that point, but the fact that he reached it at all was terrifying. To the best of her knowledge, she had not once seen him actually lose his temper since the previous world when Hinata had almost been killed by Pain.

The second thing she was fearful of was when Tsunade finally did learn of what he did. The woman would initially be pissed that he risked himself and everyone at first but as time went by, she'd take his accomplishment as a challenge. That would result in the Hokage trying to match if not destroy mountains with her fists, just for the sake of not losing her edge…

… And then, worse of all, she'd force Sakura to eventually try and accomplish the same thing, meaning more physical training from hell for her.

"Judging from how messed up his arm is, I doubt it's a technique he uses regularly." Chouji noted, taking in the state of his friend's busted limb. To be honest, just looking at it made him feel uncomfortable, and had it been on anyone else he'd probably sit them down and tell them to cut the damn thing off as soon as possible.

"No doubt Hinata's going to fawn all over him once they're alone again." Tenten sighed before pausing. "… Wait. Where's Hinata?"

It was only then that they realized that she hadn't joined the group as soon as Naruto started ranting.

"And then, just when I thought we were safe, ALIENS ABDUCTED ME TO MAKE ME THEIR GOD-KING!"

o. o. o.

"You're an idiot."

"Mmm." Naruto mumbled in agreement as his head rested his head on the small roll of padding in the tent, ignoring the pain in his arm as Hinata treated it.

She had far more vicious words in mind to describe just how foolish he had been to injure himself this time, but she held her tongue. He was already suffering from his injuries if the amount of sweat on his head was any indication. He may have hidden it well, but there was no way he could have withstood such pain for so long.

In fact, the only reason why he was still conscious and not thrashing about was because she had used her jyuken to numb all the nerves in his arm. Even then it was blatantly clear that he was in extreme agony. In fact, it wouldn't be far to assume that he was barely conscious and aware of the outside world anymore given how his eyes were currently flickering.

She didn't bother to stay behind once he began to rant to Taruho. While she initially had been under the same impression as everyone else that he was just going to vent by being random and humiliating a person that didn't understand what "no" meant, she had seen enough signs to know that her boyfriend simply didn't have the steam for it. The first instant everyone lost him among his clones, he had slipped out of sight and snuck into her tent, where he had been resting ever since.

There was not a part of his left arm that wasn't horrifically mangled in some way. Physically it felt worse than his right one in every possible way. The only difference was that he didn't have any wind chakra interfering with the healing process this time.

She had started at his shoulder first, since that was the part of his body that was healing the fastest and was also the part closest to his internal organs. The faster that was dealt with, the sooner he could at least move without being in agony.

Slowly moving one hand away from his body, she gently brushed his hair away from his face.

He was hurting. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. Probably more than anyone else realized. Far more than what he deserved.

"You're stronger than anyone I know Naruto." She smiled softly. "But you can't keep this up by yourself anymore. You have to let us help."

He didn't say anything, and she didn't know if he did it consciously, but the air around her slowly embraced her, like a soft invisible blanket.

She could learn more of what had happened if she went to Kakashi and Tenten, but she honestly didn't care that much for now. All that mattered was helping the young man in front of her recover. Everything else would fall into place afterwards.

"… Really though. I wish you didn't react as badly as you did. Destroying a mountain was too much, even for you this time."

"Hehehehehugh!"

Conscious or not, she wasn't going to allow him to feel proud for doing something stupid on this level.

"Uuuhaaaanh."

On a side note, she did find the face he made when he cried like this somewhat appealing. She'd have to do with that for now, seeing as, like she said before, she was unwilling to enact her deepest and darkest dreams in a location that provided little to no privacy and sound proofing…

When there were witnesses around at least.

o. o. o.

Sitting in a rather bland room, the man casually chewed on the tip of his pen and looked at the Sudoku puzzle in his hands.

Boring.

Few people realized just how dull negotiations could be at times. In a world where technology, and thus communications, were not as developed as ones that had, oh say, telephones for the masses or the internet, the means to pass information to one's superiors tended to be heavily restricted.

As a result, there tended to be rather large pockets of time where negotiators had literally nothing to do while in the enemy camp. True, they could try to schmooze with the enemy populace, gain information and earn brownie points for later, but that in turn was also a fairly common and easily seen through tactic.

Much more so when he, a civilian, was trying to break bread with xenophobic shinobi of the highest degree.

That wasn't to say that he didn't have some level of freedom in the compound. He was watched like a hawk at all times, but considering the absurd amount of money that he could potentially gain them should they go with his boss' deal, treating him poorly, for now at least, was not in their best interests.

He couldn't go outside of the compound out of fear of him relaying info that they'd rather keep private, but he could at least still use some facilities. A training room to keep fit. Cafeteria. Bathrooms. Hell, they even had a reasonably stocked and sized break room, which was surprising given how militaristic and run down the place was.

Of course, he wasn't allowed to see the prisoners in person at any given time. He had seen them once since he had come here, and that was to confirm that they were alive and that there wasn't a case of mistaken identity…

He shivered momentarily. He had spent some time around shinobi before, but those women were of a different breed entirely. Calling them human alone felt wrong. How these poor fools managed to get their hands on a treasure that vastly surpassed their means of handling it properly was beyond him.

The sooner he was done with this job the better. Those Iwa shinobi were right as much as he'd enjoy mocking them for being paranoid. Something bigger was in the works.

However he was no sage. He was in it for the money, not world peace or international stability. Risking his life armed with nothing but his tongue and good looks was what he did for better or for worse.

His only break from monotony was his on and off guide slash overseer slash guard. The masked man was rather generic in that he rarely revealed anything that could help identify him for later, however he was, unlike everyone else in this place, good for conversation.

And curious. Oh so very curious.

They danced with words every time no one else was around, probing and hinting in turn, trying to see the bigger picture from the other's perspective. Giving and taking what very might be nothing but lies in the process, but at least making the game entertaining in the process.

The rebel's situation was direr than he had been told, which of course, increased the odds of the deal going through. Money. Men. Food. Resources. Morale. Territory. Influence. Sponsors. Everything was on the decline, even if the local popularity of Onoki's rule was taking a similar turn.

The biggest issue was twofold, the rebels didn't really have much of a spokesman. Someone to take charge and serve as the face of Iwa once he was gone. Technically, Onoki didn't have someone like that to replace him either (everyone knew that the Jinchuriki of the Yonbi had made several very drunk public statements on how he'd rather perform certain intimate actions with his tenant than take the job), but rumor was that he was training his formally errant granddaughter for the job in the near future.

The closest person they had for the position was Sinou. Somehow they managed to break the man from the high security hospital half a year after the incident with Konoha along with the handful of survivors from the incident.

Ironically, it was the breakout that put the rebellion on Onoki's shit list and had him take them seriously, leading their gradual erosion since then.

The issue was that Sinou had barely survived several jyuken strikes to his body, including some to his vital organs, and was not treated for them for a while.

He could still fight and deal damage, but his heart was weak and couldn't handle prolonged strains. Since his escape, the man had stuck to being the head tactician and one of the head generals for the organization. Something that no one had contested with.

The second major problem was that Onoki was still a monster. Even with his old age and now infamously crippling bad back, the old gnome could still easily wipe the floor with the corpses of the vast majority of shinobi in the world… if there had been corpses left once he was done.

With those two things, the rebellion was very likely to fail no matter how events turned out. Iwa was in a rough spot now, and if it lost its Kage without a suitable replacement, there was no telling how long it would take for the village to recover, if ever.

Xenophobic the general populace may be, but for most people rationality had a tendency to trump general discontent nine out of ten times. He just so happened to be squatting with a group made of the tenth category.

Then again, it would be foolish to think that everyone that joined the rebellion did so simply because they wanted Onoki out…

His pen stopped scratching as he heard some commotion out in the hallway. He kept his door closed the majority of the time for obvious reasons, and as a result he rarely heard a peep from the outside. It also helped most people here were Shinobi.

Given that the locals tended to avoid him, let alone his room whenever possible, hearing so much was something noteworthy and potentially concerning.

Putting his paper and pen down, he walked to the door and slowly pushed it open while staying away from the opening. It didn't sound like the place was being attacked, but if it was, then opening a door with his face pressed to it was likely to get him killed before he even figured out what was happening.

Waiting a few seconds and noting that there were no explosions, shouting, or the screams echoing, he took his chances and walked out. Now that the door wasn't in the way, he could hear and see what seemed to be the majority of the base moving in the same direction, and not being too quiet about it either. They didn't look alarmed, more… curious and eager if anything.

Seeing as he wasn't being yelled at once he started to follow everyone, he saw no harm in joining the crowd to see what the big deal was. Being kept in the dark wouldn't help a person in negotiations after all.

As he was passed by what felt like everyone in the base, he heard bits and pieces of what was attracting everyone there.

"What is he doing here?"

"He is going to help us!"

"Or he's here to kill us."

"He can kill Onoki!"

"Can we trust him?"

"Fuck no. He's insane remember?"

Somehow he wasn't the last person to make it outside despite being the only civilian in the compound as he was pushed from behind after exiting. It was late afternoon and the sun was starting to set, but there was more than enough light out for him to see what was going on.

Near the edge of the small field that everyone trained in, right next to the forest, everyone was gathering around a single person that was clearly not here originally. He spotted several of the council members talking to him with the same wariness and care that they had used with Sinou just a week ago.

However, he couldn't ignore the fear in their eyes.

"You're not supposed to leave your room without me." His masked and enigmatic guard commented from behind him. The man didn't know when the shinobi had snuck into his current position, but he had almost gotten used to it by now.

"And miss the party? Information is as much my lifeline as it is yours friend." He droned, never taking his eyes off the newcomer. "So I take it our guest's arrival was unexpected."

"What was your first clue?" The shinobi's tone dead even but sarcasm still saturated each word. "Do you know who he is?"

"Less than I suddenly would like to know, sadly." His eyes narrowed. He knew who the man was without a doubt, and who he represented.

"Is this going to be a problem?"

"Maybe. Who knows?" For a brief moment, the guest's eyes met his. As the one that sticks out in a crowd of shinobi, there was no doubt that he would have been noticed eventually.

"It looks like it is." There was a warning in the killer's voice. There was no doubt what he would do if his charge started being difficult.

"… I don't like having surprise competition." Sinou didn't look away from the glare, even if keeping it would endanger his life down the line.

Several seconds later, Deidara smiled and resumed mocking the shinobi around him.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Thanks Kagaseo for betaing.

Wheew! That chapter took me forever to do!

It was at that moment that each Oogakari fired a modified Little Boy mini nuke launcher, each armed with 8 bombs at once, at me.

"THE HELL YOU DID! YOU WERE PLAYING FALLOUT 4 YOU OCD JACKASS!"

(After reforming from the radiated ashes that were all that was left of my remains)

Ok. Let's try this again.

Yes. The undisputed king of chaotic Naruto OC fanfiction is back with the raging vengeance of festering hemorrhoids. For those of you who don't follow my other fic FFD, I've decided to give myself a timetable. 6 months on FFD. 6 on TTRT.

… It just so happens that my schedule for TTRT coincided with Fallout 4's release date. Yeaaaah… I have no regrets.

So this is a bit of an exposition and reaction chapter since, let's face it, it's been a while and some people have forgotten what's happened. A bit Oogakari heavy, but considering what's happened, there was really no way to avoid it.

The highlight of the chapter was easily the Naruto Ghost conversation and how they interacted. While the scene was tense for obvious reasons, it also shows how Naruto really is dealing with his mental situation and how he sees the person responsible for it on top of the issues that his life essentially revolves around. Naruto's One Punch Man worthy greeting was something I had been planning long since Saitama made it to tv screens, but honestly watching the show makes it really easy to imagine it for future reference.

As for the ending cliffhanger? Yeah. I'm an ass, and shit is going to get really messy in the next few chapters.

Onto real life! I have a job now! I'm an engineer for Ford, so I'm working on the sweet stuff that isn't coming out for another three years! And competition cars! Teslas are sooo sexy.

Er… working. Fanfiction. Card shop. PS4… Oh. Right! The Midget now works for… crap can't say the name in case it tracks back to her… a bank! A really, really big bank, as an analyst to boot! Big deals and big money!

She's also entered herself into a cosplay contest and needs your help… though I'm not sure if it's still open right now. Just go to this link and vote for the epic Tifa cosplayer. That's her. She has a solid shot of winning it so this is just an extra push.

facebook MiccostumesCosplayShop/photos/a.669641489741817.1073741859.186709338035037/997789706926992/?type=3&source=48

Er. That's it. Not as much as I normally rant about but… yeah. I'll try to get the next chapter out before new year's.

SO REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! I'M BACK BITCHES! AND REVIEW AGAIN!