Take Two Round Two

by Third Fang

What do you get when you cross several interdimensional god like beings, raw boredom, a world of Naruto that went wrong, several years worth of off screen training, common sense, insanity, humor, sarcasm, the Log, explosions, plot, and overall chaos? Apparently a lot of headache medicine for Tsunade. May the Games Begin. Sequel to Yet Again With A Little Extra Help.

22. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty One: There may or may not be a cliffhanger at the end of this chapter. Also, Ghost is no longer fucking with the text. Huzzah.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OC's and new Jutsu in the story as well as every ounce of pure awesome spawned by this.

o. o. o.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! HOLY SHIT! THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS!"

Sasori rolled his eyes and tried to ignore Hidan's ravings. The crazy priest just kept on reaching new levels of madness lately. This time it was spurred on by the peculiar black embers that floated pointlessly everywhere for about half an hour.

The second he saw them, the priest burst out laughing and only got worse as time went on. Claiming something about how the world was about to end and how stupid and clueless everyone was.

As if that was original.

Sasori was more interested in what the heck these black things were in the first place. He tried to get a sample, but the things simply slipped through any and every container he used as if they were mere illusions.

"THE GOD OF NONE! THE GOD OF NONE'S GONE NUTS AGAIN! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Great, Hidan had expanded his pantheon. As if one god wasn't enough already.

"AND HE DIDN'T EVEN KILL EVERYTHING INSTANTLY THIS TIME! AHAHAHA! THIS IS BRILLIANT! OH IF ONLY THE GREATER ONE KNEW OF THIS! BUT HE CAN'T! OH MAN THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT! I GOTTA FIND OUT WHO THE LUCKY BITCH IS! WAHAHAHAHA!"

"Mhm. You do that." Sasori would have revenge on Kakuzu for leaving him with this nut. The prick was really getting out of hand. It was a shame that the priest was his worst matchup. Poison and general vicious injuries didn't work on him. Only extreme mutilation would, which sadly wasn't the puppeteer's strong point…

… Actually, it kinda was, but only after the subject was already dead. It was The first part of the process of making human puppets after all.

Maybe he could seal away this substance… nope. That didn't work either. Interesting.

o. o. o.

"This is getting silly." Mei frowned as she approached Zabuza and Haku, who were standing on the roof of the Mizukage's building. The two were for the most part healed from their match against Naruto, but they still had some lingering injuries that forced them to be patched in a few places. "You two have been up here shivering like children ever since this black stuff appeared. From what anyone can tell, it's completely useless and harmless, so why are you acting this way?"

Zabuza flinched as an ember brushed against his skin, but bounced away as soon as it connected. He wasn't using Presence to a high degree, it was barely noticeable really, but it was enough to stop him from being affected… from having another minute sliver of himself being burned away into literal nothing. His right hand was reflexively on the handle of Kubikirihochou. It was more for comfort than anything else.

"You don't want to know Mei. Trust me, you really don't." He could feel Ghost all the way from here. Not with chakra sensing or anything basic, but simply out of pure instinct. Too far to do anything about it, but clearly not far enough to be out of harm's way.

"… He's a monster Zabuza-sama." Haku shivered. It had been the first time she had done so in years. The cold didn't affect her now.

"He?' The Mizukage frowned and tried to make sense of what the girl was talking about.

"We knew that from the beginning. We just never saw any of it." The Demon of the Hidden Mist grunted. They had thought they understood just how powerful their supposed "saviors" were. What a joke. They didn't know anything.

"Zabuza? What's going on?" Mei grew concerned. Zabuza and Haku were in many ways her strongest shinobi even if they were technically Konoha's. Anything that had them essentially quaking where they stood would instantly be a sign of alarm.

"… Could be everything. Could be nothing." The swordsman picked his words carefully. "Whatever it is, something is going to happen soon regardless."

o. o. o.

It took over fifteen minutes for Shion to finally relax once the embers disappeared.

That did not include the minute and a half she was currently using to suck the lungs out of still stunned Naruto's mouth.

Hinata had joined the rest of those watching around the minute mark.

Those brave enough to keep on watching made sure to do so either from a safe distance or from the other side of the pair making out.

"And people think that nobles don't know how to get down and ugly." Kakashi mused to no one in particular as Shion finally allowed herself and Naruto to breathe, breaking away almost violently while still holding onto him as if he was the only thing keeping him alive. The fact that the blood that had wept from her orifices hadn't been cleaned up yet and was scabbing all over her face only added to the peculiar show.

If anyone thought the priestess was done expressing her gratitude to Naruto, they were sadly disappointed as the girl proceeded to thrust her body to his and hold onto him so tightly that most would almost assume that she was practically trying to fuse with him if they didn't know just how traumatized she had just been just moments before.

There was little romance in the gesture though. The girl's movements were far too stiff and forceful to have any gentle or sensual meaning behind them.

"Kakashi." Sasuke muttered from next to him, eyes never straying from the show. From their perspective, they were only able to see the girl's back and parts of Naruto's face as she angled it this way and that.

It was more than enough to determine other things though.

"Give it time. There's no rush." In all honesty, his words were wishful thinking. When it came to events with Naruto around, as the saying went, when it rains, it pours.

Then again, considering they had apparently just barely avoided Armageddon… again, Kakashi had determined that now was an appropriate time to enjoy the smaller things in live. Like the free show he was enjoying right now, and the inevitable bloodbath that would ensue.

From a very safe distance of course.

… Which appeared to be coming soon seeing as Shion's body was slowly becoming limp, a sign of her exhaustion finally catching up to her.

Sure enough, a few seconds later the girl slumped like a stringless puppet into Naruto's arms, unconscious and breathing steadily.

"Shion-sama!" The ever loyal Taruho, having somehow managed to untie himself about five minutes earlier from the horses on the other side of the camp and just managed to see the end of the "show", rushed to his ward. Annoying as he was, no one could doubt his dedication.

Unlike last time though, no one made any efforts to stop him. In fact, Naruto helped the aid move his charge and set her down on her small, but still very elaborate and expensive looking futon which had been set nearby when everyone realized that they were not going to move for the rest of the day.

Other than Taruho stopping for a few moments when he first started the process, supposedly because of something Naruto had said, the process had gone surprisingly smoothly. The aid didn't seem to try and accuse the jinchuriki of anything, much less grill him and try to figure out what had just happened.

Instead he just quietly tended to Shion and began to clean up her bloodstained face and made his best effort not to make eye contact with anyone.

In hindsight, that was probably everyone's first and biggest clue that they probably should have been a bit more careful in how to interact with Naruto before they realized what mood he was in.

"Are you quite done? Naruto-kun?" Hinata smiled patiently, her physical image was without blemish or flaw in complete contrast to the horrifying amount of killing intent she was giving off.

"Oh. More or less." While he had been moving and addressing Shion, the blonde had managed to keep his face out of sight from those around him. The only person that had managed to get a glimpse was the now pale and mute Taruho that seemed to be moving mechanically at this point.

Turning around, the blonde faced his teammates, friends, and other spectators with a calm expression. His face was flushed and somewhat sweaty. His mouth and cheeks had some smears of makeup that had once been on Shion's face. His body was relaxed, and his hands were in his pockets.

And he was smiling.

Not the punch drunk smile of someone that had just had one of the best makeout sessions of their lives with a beautiful girl.

Not the delirious smile of someone that was desperately trying to escape reality.

Instead it was a peaceful and genuine smile. The kind of smile that someone had when they were having a great day. A day where everything just fell into line and went their way…

… No matter who or what said otherwise.

"Oh shit, we really are all going to die this time." Ino's eyes dilated in horror.

There was a general pattern to the way Naruto behaved and reacted to bad news. His default setting had no filter whatsoever. This meant he swore, joked, and acted out whenever and however he wished, speaking his mind whenever he felt like it. Up to a certain point, this non-existent filter would only become more non-existent as the threat level increased until the threshold was reached and he unleashed one of his infamous "swearing of a thousand rages" episodes.

That wasn't his cap though. That was merely the borderline between "incredibly bad" and "immediately and unimaginably bad." Once that particular fissure was crossed, the blonde's behavior pattern did a complete one eighty.

Until then, his reaction could be described as a raging shitstorm on fire fueled by anger, panic, and frustration. The more fuel added, the harder and bigger the storm would get and it didn't care who or what got in the way and burned in the process.

After it though, all that rage. All that power. All that fuel and potential energy was contained.

Focused.

Channeled.

The angrier he got, the calmer he got. More composed. More serene. Polite. Well behaved. Upstanding. Crisp. Clean.

His normal outlets of his anger were minimized and harnessed, all that impossibly dense energy and focused rage was pinpointed to deal with the task at hand…

… or any other mentally dense, retarded, suicidal, shaving of a crusty old fucknut that had the bright idea of rupturing or even poking the shell that contained that unspeakable and indiscriminate power.

Every single person that saw him instantly went rigid and stood at attention on reflex. The teen had not used any sort of power or exerted any sort of killing intent. Even so, there was no mistaking the pure unbridled rage that seemed to dwell underneath his image and the lack of mercy he would give to anyone that lured it out of him.

Kakashi resisted the urge to swallow heavily. Naruto may take after his mother in personality most of the time, but this look and style was all Minato. While the Yellow Flash overall had a very effeminate and gentle in appearance and in personality, it was this very smile and approach that made him absolutely terrifying as both an opponent and as a teacher.

There was a bloody reason why the aloof and generally independent young Kakashi rolled over and played dead whenever Minato ordered him to.

"Yes. I am." Naruto nodded to the suddenly dominated Hyuuga, who was frozen in place and unable to break eye contact with him. "Hinata, if you would be so kind as to treat Shion for any possible injuries? Due to the way her powers work, her chakra system may have a few issues right now."

"I-I…" For the first time in years, the heiress fumbled with her words due to overwhelming insecurity. The nearly perpetually confident young woman was shrinking from the boy that would literally bark and act like a dog (or a well-trained fox) on her command faster than most could blink.

"Hinata. Now?" Naruto gently prodded with the slightest urge in his tone.

"R-right!" Without any further hesitation, she stumbled out of her spot as if realizing she was able of moving and bolted straight to Shion. If anyone had thought that the girl held animosity towards the priestess, they wouldn't be able to see it as Hinata inspected and addressed her patient with utmost care and urgency.

"Shino. Ino. Chouji. Tenten." Naruto continued, as if Hinata's behavior was completely within character.

"Yes!" The four stood at attention and responded in unison. It didn't matter if Naruto was technically the lowest ranked shinobi there. Right now he was the one in charge and not a single one of them was going to challenge that fact if they had any say in it.

"It's best if we had a full team guarding the camp. Ino is taking Hinata's place while she heals Shion. I'll leave the arrangements and patterns to you."

With a brief, albeit stiff nod, all four of them vanished instantly. Everyone in their clique had worked on various combinations for all sorts of events and scenarios over the past few years, so all it took were a few brief gestures for a final plan and pattern to be agreed upon.

"… I feel like going for a walk." Naruto looked up to the sky, speaking whimsically to himself. "Do you guys wanna come with me? It'll be nice to have team 7 back together again."

"Yes sensei." Kakashi whimpered. Oh god. That smile. The smile that promised the dark times were approaching once more. There was no escape. The reckoning was upon them.

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura blinked and looked at their teacher in confusion before thinking better of acknowledging what he had said. Sometimes it was just better to pretend some things didn't exist.

"S-sure." Sakura tried to smile and look genuine in her agreement, but it was hard to do with half her face twitching rampantly and sweat starting to manifest in large amounts on her forehead.

"Only if you don't bring your murder boner this time." Sasuke broke the tension, and replaced it with the fear of oncoming devastation.

Naruto laughed, seemingly amused. "No worries. I don't think that Sakura would heal me if I did something like last time again anyways."

Calm. Far too calm. He wasn't even biting the half a dozen easy counter insults that Sasuke had given him with his opener.

Shit. They were in a worse situation than they thought.

The somewhat sane members of team 7 briefly looked at one another and came to the same conclusion.

Their problems were only just beginning.

o. o. o.

"Bee! What the hell are you doing?" Yugito hissed at her friend as she looked around left and right. The black embers had vanished, but she wasn't taking any chances. Matatabi was still going almost feral in her due to being exposed to what she claimed was the Progenitor of Fire itself. Every time the blonde woman touched an ember, the biju let loose a combination of a hiss, a yowl, and a purr at the same time, as if she was unable to determine what she should be feeling in the first place.

"Don't be slow, Yugito." The Hachibi Jinchuriki rapped as he focused on the pen and paper in his hands. "I'm feelin' great, bein' alive with Eight. Just tryin to jot down these feelings true, in my newest awesome haiku."

"I thought you grew out of those damn things!" Seriously, if it weren't for Bee's horrendously annoying infatuation with limericks two years ago thanks to that bastard Oogakari, she might have claimed that this was the man's most annoying hobby yet.

"Hell no. I still have at least a few more weeks of this in me to go. Fo sho." The man brushed her off.

"And what are we going to do about what just happened?" She pressed. "We can't just lie about not knowing anything!"

"Calm down kitty cat and let all pass. There ain't no problem if no question was asked. We can't do jack when we're stuck here, which ain't there, so it ain't square to expect the impossible to be fair." Bee didn't seem to take her warning any mind as he continued to focus on his book.

"I. You. Fine! Be useless! I'll try and keep everyone in line before your brother assumes that someone's been trying to attack the village and declare martial law again!" The woman huffed irritably and stomped away annoyed.

Bee didn't seem to pay her any mind.

"… Bee. You could have just told her the truth." The Eight Tails muttered from inside his container.

"Nah. Didn't feel this was the time or place for that." The pen shook as it hovered over the empty book.

He had yet to write a single word.

o. o. o.

"Well now. That was certainly interesting."

Kabuto casually leaned back on his chair just enough that he was on two of its legs.

He had just finished watching a recording of Ghost's "visit" to Iwagakure.

The Oogakari didn't disappoint.

"His technique certainly is interesting…"

It was a peculiar image to behold. He could see the wind blades cut into the bodies of the victims. The buildings flatten in the distance. The man's blade slide into the populace's bodies…

… But not a single person died.

They acted as if they did. Remarkably so. Men, women and children fell to the ground in droves, screaming and crying in alarm as the world fell apart around them.

And soon enough, they stopped moving. The hidden cameras hidden around the village even captured the lights going out of their eyes even when there was no sign of damage…

And then Ghost snapped his fingers, something black flickered from said fingers and all the bodies… jumped. One instant they were more or less cadavers, and the next they were on their feet like before without a single transition.

Upon a closer inspection, he noticed streaks of black, similar to the black spots that flew everywhere, during the brief gap of time between the technique's end and the moment the man snapped his fingers.

Oh, and there was the fact that at the end of the recording the man had showed up on ALL the recordings at literally the same time, facing the camera, and said "Pull this shit again and I will end you literally".

After that point, it appeared all of his devices were destroyed at once.

He wasn't too sure, since the high pitched frequency recorded before being cut off had also ruptured his eardrums and broken all the monitors in the room as well. His glasses included.

Darn, and here he thought that he had covered his tracks.

Those were his favorite glasses too.

A flamboyant looking man dressed in silk clothing and wearing loads of makeup walked into the room. "Hmm. That's not creepy."

Kabuto chuckled lightly, his regeneration already healed his ear drums. "You tend to develop a thick skin to "creepy things" after spending some time with Orochimaru. However, I do admit that this does rank rather high up there. How do you feel?"

The civilian's face remained impassive, however he knew better than to hide his thoughts. "Like I've just been blown up. All that effort to not give myself away and that's the reward I get."

Kabuto's heavily cracked, but still intact reflective glasses met the negotiator's black eyes, evidence of one of his more useful Edo Tensei. The makeup and perfume easily masked the man's cracked skin and peculiar smell, but the eyes presented a problem. The right hand man of Orochimaru had to replace those and use a special jutsu so that they wouldn't change color. Even so, if the zombie was destroyed and refabricated himself, his old eyes would once again be in place and give everything away.

"I thought that you'd be happy with a seeing how the world has changed, as the second cousin of the Fire Daimyo that worked with Hashirama and Madara to set up the current shinobi system. Your efforts were just as essential to forging today as the first Hokage's dream itself." Kabuto's argument was weak, and they both knew it, but it didn't really matter much.

"Yes and it got me a stab in the back by my cousin as a reward. How proud I am." The dead noble snorted. He had been the son of a lesser branch house of the Daimyo and a concubine. His father only took him in after he had shown talent in politics, but never bothered to take care of the woman that cared of and raised him in the process. Many of the other nobles of that era didn't trust shinobi, and more importantly had a lot of money in the wars and fights that they had. It had been he that had managed to persuade the Daimyo and enough of his court to give Hashirama's dream a shot. And it had worked.

Apparently. He had been assassinated before he could see the promised results.

He wasn't Kabuto's right hand. Instead he was more akin to a decoy, a mask. It had been so long since his death that no one would recognize him anymore, and he wasn't exactly a notable individual from history either.

Edo Tensei really was an abomination of a technique, and so, SO, vastly more useful than most would assume if the user opened their mind just a bit more.

"Please, you make it sound like I don't have to deal with the same thing." The medic snorted as he rewound the videos and began to watch them again. They really did fascinate him.

"So I take it you are not too concerned that your plan to start a war failed." The revived noble observed.

"Oh, war was going to happen sooner or later regardless. I just wanted to try and throw everyone off balance and see how they'd react. You can learn so many things from watching people trying to play catchup." Kabuto absently took a cup of water, made of plastic which was why it was still intact, next to him and drank sparingly. "Those two fought quite well. For a moment I thought I might have to give up on capturing them."

Hana and Anko. Young women that while talented, were individuals that he would never suspect to be S ranked material. Their prowess was noted several times over the past few years, but the same could be said for dozens of shinobi across the elemental nations. Misinformation of that sort was quite common.

Still, to think that the pair of them held off two Kage level Edo Tensei and two elite jonin level bloodline users at once, and would have even won had the odds not been stacked so heavily against them, was something even he had trouble digesting.

Had he not had the forethought of using chakra damping seals around the battleground ahead of time to prevent people on the outside from sensing the fight, he would have had no doubt that someone would have noticed what he had done far sooner.

Yes, it was for the best that he managed to wipe out their memories of the fight. They might have thought that the dogs had gotten away as well in a last ditch attempt to get help, instead of being wiped as well. He didn't really care if Konoha managed to find out about the girls in time. The resulting chaos following their abduction was the end in itself.

So many things were happening. As soon as he came across Naruto, he knew that the world was going to change drastically. That power. That charisma.

The jinchuriki had him pegged as someone not to trust, and Kabuto agreed with the assessment without hesitation, but the mad medic honestly would not have turned down the offer had it been made.

As bizarre as it sounded, he actually liked Naruto.

The blonde was interesting. So many mysteries surrounded him and the foreigners he trained with.

A jinchuriki. A kage's son. A powerful shinobi. A person that honestly… just didn't give a fuck about any of that. He really didn't.

It wasn't even a matter of being spoiled or being obnoxious. He knew what he wanted, what he liked and didn't, how others saw him and what they expected of him, and then explicitly behaved in a way that showed everyone that he was aware of all of that.

That sense of identity and confidence. Stable or not, Naruto knew who and what he was.

Other than being orphans and being twisted, there wasn't much that they had in common. Kabuto had no real lineage. No natural prowess. He had just been a rather sharp orphan that had gained the attention of the wrong people and had been exploited because of it.

He had been a spy. He had been a child. He had been a tool. He had been what they all wanted, but in the process, he had lost himself before he even knew who he was to begin with. He didn't need to be broken down to be molded.

He had met, talked to, and subsequently lied to all sorts and types of people in his life… but Naruto stuck out drastically from the short time they had chatted with one another. The blonde knew what he was, at least some of the more horrible things that he had done, and had accepted it without missing a beat.

It was… refreshing. Neither one of them had any plans against one another. It had simply been an accidental meeting.

There hadn't been any lies. Some games were played of course, they were both experienced shinobi, but there weren't any actual goals to their actions. Just mild curiosities expressed at best.

For the first time in a while, Kabuto felt like he didn't need to put up a face with someone.

The problem was, what exactly was underneath?

He wondered, what did Naruto see that day? What sort of person was Kabuto? Even he didn't know the answer to that.

Would Naruto see the same thing later, and would he act the same? The curiosity was almost nerve wracking.

What had made Naruto like that in the first place? Could other people end up like him? Would they also be able to see Kabuto for what he really was?

Just how strong was Naruto to begin with?

Everything was in motion now. The Hidden Villages were too agitated now to stay silent for long. All he had to do now was stay back and watch.

… Then again, staying on the side lines would get a bit boring after a while.

Orochimaru did tell him that he needed to take from others in order to make himself grow and develop. What harm was there in merely adapting a few habits from others?

o. o. o.

"Are you sure he's going to come in through the front gate?"

Waltz didn't bother to look at Chouza as he sat on one of the benches near the front gate of the village. It had been almost fifteen minutes since the embers finally died down, and since he was not floating aimlessly in the greater void… again, it was safe to assume that Ghost had managed to calm himself down before he got too careless. "You'll see."

Normally whenever Ghost had an episode, the rest of the family instantly dropped any pretense or façade of being "normal" by the social standards in the world and rushed to either minimize the damage that would eventually be caused, or beat the living shit out of him until he either calmed down or was rendered unconscious.

Preferably before he (or they by accident) destroyed the reality he was on.

And the trillion some odd realities that were theoretically adjacent to it.

However, for better or for worse, this particular episode was rather tame in comparison to his more infamous ones. That wasn't to say that the effects of his actions and behavior were any less potentially devastating or damaging. Far from it.

Waltz glanced around him, his eyes seeing things far farther than anything the human eye could detect… and held back a grimace.

He easily spotted at least four different entities in this reality that had begun to stir due to his brother's outburst that would cause problems in the near future for the locals. It was unlikely that people would be able to connect the dots and realize it was Ghost's fault for the mess, but it still didn't change the fact that they caused disasters.

Scratch that. Five. He stupidly forgot about the one on the moon.

Of course there was something on the moon. There was always some hidden abomination or portal or robot or hidden society or some other bullshit on the fucking moon. Far be it for someone to try and not be predictable as sin for once.

Hell, his family had once made a game out of blowing up moons and seeing "what was hidden in the crispy and crunch center of every seemingly innocent satellite space rock?"

Partially because most of them were dirt poor and couldn't afford buying trading card packs at the time.

Crypt won when he found a hidden society of technologically advanced chocobo vying for universal domination with mystical time space and feather technology and fertilized egg based demon sacrifices.

Ghost still claims that their brother set that one up ahead of time.

"I'm not too certain about that." Inoichi crossed his arms skeptically. "Even if he is coming back to the village soon, it's not like him to come in through the front. Everyone knows how much he gets a kick out of being in places he shouldn't be for the sake of it."

Everyone that had been training in the Oogakari compound had followed the old man to the entrance to the village, something that had not been missed by the local populace as they passed by.

"Tsunade-sama." An ANBU appeared by the Hokage in the standard crouching position, giving the illusion that he had either always been there or had teleported into the stance. "We have just received a message from the Mizukage and Zabuza. They claim that they have recently been in contact with Cadaver in the Land of Moon."

"Cadaver" was the code name for Naruto when information about him was to be kept secret but he was the subject of conversation.

She picked the name herself, and it was clearly not because she was very likely going to turn him into one once she got her hands on him.

The woman's eyebrow twitched once. Only once, but it was enough to get the point across. Of course Naruto would show up by chance to crash one of the biggest trade agreements in the past decade. Knowing his luck, there had probably been some sort of spontaneous attempted coup made while he was there too.

If they were expecting her to foot the bill for the damages, there would be little doubt whose ass she'd shove the paper up along with her high heeled and chakra powered foot.

"Hokage-sama." Another masked shinobi appeared next to the first. "We have received news from Sandaime-sama. They have succeeded in escorting the client to Takigakure… however…"

"Wait for me in my office. Speak to only those that have maximum clearance." She ordered, cutting the man off before he said something in the open that he shouldn't. She wanted to mitigate the damage to morale that Gai's death would bring to everyone.

"Ma'am." The two nodded and vanished at the same time.

"It is convenient that most of us are already together. It will save time." Hiashi patiently sat on a nearby bench without betraying any emotions, already knowing what they were going to have to deal with once this was done with. While he didn't admit it, Gai was one of the few individuals in the village that had obtained his full respect. Boisterous and childish he may have been, but Gai had been there for Neji where he had not, serving as a sort of second uncle that was easily approachable. His confidant. The Hyuuga head owed the taijutsu master a debt he would repay.

"Tch. It's just one mess after another with you lot, isn't it?" Tsume clicked her teeth in annoyance. While she did consider the Oogakari allies, they were still unreliable in far too many ways for her to ever be comfortable with them.

"Not for a lack of trying, unfortunately." Waltz allowed himself to sigh. It really was the curse of the strong. Power attracts power, even unconsciously. Chaos was just as susceptible to this pattern.

"How much longer will we have to wait?" Shibi made note of the civilians and random shinobi that were starting to pay attention to the group. It wasn't often that most of the clan heads of the village and the Hokage herself got together in public like this after all.

Kiba shrugged. "Nothing's holding you guys back from leaving. The old man never asked you to follow him or stay. There's no question that he's waiting for when sensei… gets…"

"Kiba. Are you ok?" Chouza walked to the teen, worried at just how pale he had suddenly become.

"Akamaru? Kuromaru?" Tsume on the other hand was unnerved at the two dogs that had suddenly hunched over, bore their teeth, and were growling malevolently as if they were about to fight something utterly reprehensible.

"Monster. Unnatural. Sick. Wrong. Danger."

Waltz held back a sigh. Yep. That was Ghost all right.

The thing was, only people and existences that had a solid grasp of the use of Presence ever picked up on just how messed up and absurd the man was, and even then it was only when he was either pissed or using his fire.

Presence was the mastery of oneself after all, literally mastering one's timespace. Once a person was aware of it, they were aware of things that could affect it, and Ghost's fire was one of the few things that genuinely destroyed timespace, period. Cross instincts and subconscious comprehension, and boom, the innate fear of the man was spawned by pure reflex.

Case and point, everyone that had followed him to the gate were slowly realizing the danger that was there and backing up without even knowing it.

It had been several minutes since the black embers of the world itself burning faded away, but that did not matter much. Just because the gas was turned off didn't mean the stove was no longer hot after all.

"You know you could have waited a bit longer. It's not like we're in a rush to welcome you with open arms." Waltz yawned and slowly picked himself up, glancing at the road right in front of the village…

… Where Ghost was standing casually with a blank face and hands in his pockets.

"Says you! I'm all open arms! I'm like fucking Shiva!" Several people jumped in surprise as Shadow seemingly emerged from a grass bush to the side of the wall, clearly irate and ready to unleash her brand of excessive violence onto her brother. "Full of sharp implements and pain and corrupted pony magic! How many times do we have to tell you to stop being such a pussy!? Do you know how much of a pain it is to make sure that the pricks on the outside don't notice every time you have a meltdown!?"

He did. Unless the barrier they established was particularly geared towards his powers in particular, it would not have been hard for other multiversal forces to notice Ghost's reaction.

Since there were few things that could make the infamous God of None behave in such a way, it wouldn't take long for someone to come to the right conclusion.

And considering the number of parties out there that had all but contracted them to, you know, warn everyone whenever Ghost was in another serious relationship, it was understandable that some mutiversal forces may be a bit miffed by being kept out of the loop.

Hana and Anko, let alone the rest of this reality, were nowhere near prepared or ready to deal with such exposure.

"Now you're going to bow down and beg for my forgiveness before I go Old Testament on your unworthy soul! If you're good I'll consider taking my foot out of your ass after I'm done walking around with your mutilated body as my new fashion statement of the day!"

Waltz ignored his sister's ranting and turned a semi lazy gaze upon his brother, and the bodies the man was levitating and hiding above and around him.

Seven.

… Odd.

Hana. Anko. The triplets. And maybe Scab. That was six. But who could be the seventh? There shouldn't be anyone else here important enough to catch Ghost's attention in the middle of an episode. Naruto might have qualified, but the boy was still with his friends all the back near Iwa.

Stone blue eyes focused slightly, stripping away the veil that hid those under his brother's care.

Stone blue eyes widened to the limits when they identified the outlier.

"What?"

Hiashi glanced at the old man that was slowly and carefully relocating to a better position, body tensing to move at a moment's notice.

Before Shadow made it even halfway to maiming her brother, the man had acted by moving said seventh body in between them and uncloaking her.

"Void. Stop. Start. Fast. Too fa-slow! So slow! Twisting. Over. In and out. But nothing. Still nothing. Can't stop. Nothing can stop. Nothing is nothing. Nothing can't stop. Begin? Yes. Begin! Have to begin to stop nothing! But still not stopping!" The silver haired woman didn't seem to be aware of what was around her in the slightest, let alone of the person in front of her that had stopped in her steps.

Shadow didn't say anything surprisingly. Instead, she had settled for being anchored in place, moving her head slightly to follow the newcomer as if she was a toy.

It didn't help that Ghost was whistling as if his sister was a pet that he was taunting with said new toy.

It really didn't help that he was jerking and moving Sylvia about as if she was a toy along the tune of said whistling.

"Who's that?" Shibi frowned, somewhat curious as to the woman's identity and her relationship with the family, completely ignoring the new woman being bounced in front of the growing crowd like a toy rabbit.

"No clue." Tsume muttered. If she wasn't so on edge at how her son and the dogs were acting she secretly might have fallen under the moving prey gimmick herself.

The whistling. The bouncing. It was just so enticing. She couldn't… look… away…

"… Syl?"

"Shadow. Listen to me." Waltz spoke slowly and carefully in a way that instantly sent those that heard him on edge. It was the sort of tone that people had when they were trying to prevent someone else from either freaking out or going ballistic. "Sylvia has clearly just been driven mad by Ghost. She isn't aware of anything. She won't be able to tell that you killed or tortured her in your holy wrath slash justice if you decided to. Just calm down and don't do anything excessive."

The immortal woman didn't seem to hear him though. She merely settled for standing in place like a statue. Her eyes were the only thing moving, following the unaware woman almost mechanically.

She didn't seem to notice her skin taking a peculiar hard sheen, or that her eyes had changed colors, or that her silhouette no longer imitated her shape but instead writhed, darkened, and grew like a progressively growing flood…

▅▅… THUMP.

No one had seen Waltz move despite the fact that he was easily the largest person there and would have had to weave around at least half a dozen people to be right behind Shadow.

Instead, all they noticed was the air between where he had been and where he was now blur and bend, as if the space connecting the two points had twisted in order for him to make the trip in a single, horrifying, and heavy step. For a brief moment, everyone had the impression that it was the Kyubi putting its foot down instead of the old man.

No words were spoken. No gentle reminders of where she was or what she was doing.

Instead, the giant unleashed off one of his titanic fists into the woman's spine with cataclysmic force.

Everything around the point of impact rippled as contact was made. In that moment, both the man and the woman seemed to be… heavier… than everything else around them. An immoveable object vs an unstoppable force would be an appropriate comparison, except in this particular case, the immoveable objects seemed to be just be indestructible and very heavy…

… While the unstoppable force was designed to its very core to wreck its counterpart.

Those watching could practically see the space that comprised of Shadow's body and some of the air around her contort and twist dramatically in tandem to the old man's fist as he made contact in slow motion. Bones snapped. Ligaments tore. Organs shredded. Further and further the fist pushed, until…

BOOM!

The unaware woman shot forward like a cannonball racing at unimaginable speeds, breaking through the sound barrier easily and becoming nothing more than a blur of black and pink that quickly vanished into the distance…

… And apparently clipped the top of a nearby mountain if the sudden burst of dust was any indication.

… Yep. There was a hole in the clouds themselves in the background too. Man got mileage from his shot.

"I'm not going to even ask why the hell she is here in the first place, but seriously!? You used SYL as a distraction for Shadow?! You just, whipped her out like some kind of birthday cake surprise hooker?! Are you even more out of it than normal?!" Waltz roared at Ghost frantically, completely ignoring what he had just done to Shadow.

"What… was that?" Shizune tilted her head to the side blankly, trying to process the level of violence that had just been unleashed on Shadow.

It was understandable after all. While the Oogakari, Waltz in particular, had a tendency to unleash various levels of horrendous everything on one another, it was unusual for any of them to do anything this… severe. Everyone watching had literally felt Shadow's body being torn apart and destroyed with that blow, and the amount of power she had been hit with was on a completely different level too.

Shukaku frowned but didn't say anything. Obviously the new woman was someone the Oogakari had a history with, but unlike other surprises this one was not pleasant or expected if Waltz' and Shadow's reactions were any indication.

Shadow's in particular was the one that alarmed him the most. Stopping still. Dilated eyes. Unresponsive to outside forces. Yeah, this new woman was responsible, at least in part, for some serious psychological trauma for the short tempered mercenary.

Psychological trauma deep enough to enact a vicious subconscious reaction in a woman that had proclaimed to be perfectly comfortable with her erratic behavior and mental instability.

And if Waltz' reaction was any indication, it probably was in everyone's best interests that he harmed and put a huge amount of distance between the two parties the moment he had an opening. If he didn't, there might have been a good chance that Shadow might have gone more than a little overboard in her reaction and caused some serious damage to the area.

This… could be a problem. He and the people of Konoha had clearly witnessed the edges of something incredibly private. Something that they should not delve any deeper in if they knew what was good for them.

Sadly, humans tended to rarely make the best decisions even during ideal times.

Ghost shrugged as if it was no longer his problem. "Now it's only you. And you'll be busy."

"It's Tuesday. It has to be Tuesday. Nothing good ever happens on Tuesday. Why is it always fucking Tuesday?" Crypt was still off doing his thing. Scab was clearly out of commission, and he had just downed Shadow in a single blow. He was the only one left of his family to ream Ghost a new one for his actions, but as Ghost said he'd be too busy healing Scab and tending to the girls and the triplets.

Tsunade and the medics here could probably take over the healing job, but both he and Ghost knew that neither of them would take the chance of anything going wrong with the girls.

"Technically. That's not true. I'm here too."

The person who said that did not come from the hidden village.

"Hey old man."

"Hey brat."

Everyone blinked in confusion. The person that had argued against the contrary did not speak from inside the confines of Konoha, but from a small distance behind Ghost, who didn't turn around to greet the newcomer.

Tilting to the side, the crowd noticed a peculiar old man with a shaved bald head and wearing an odd combination of green military-esque clothing and some armor.

"Dima?" Waltz blinked a few times, completely bewildered by the turn of events. "That you?"

"Waltz. Long time no see." The newcomer nodded. "Thought you might have needed some help with things when this idiot blew his lid again. Nice shot with Shadow by the way. Got some serious distance there."

"You sound almost sure of yourself. Don't tell me you've actually gotten competent." Ghost yawned, never looking back. "Didn't think you'd show up for a moment."

"Syl's my ride. If you off'ed her, I'd have to come if I wanted to leave regardless." Dimitri shrugged, not at all bothered by the turn of events.

"Tell that to sis." Ghost started to walk to the village. "… Crypt killed that girl of yours."

If anyone that actually knew what he was talking about expected the newcomer to react poorly, they were disappointed. "She was a hired hand that got cocky and forgot where she was. If she didn't learn from her last screw up, she's better off dead. Then again, if we knew you lot were here in the first place, we wouldn't have come at all. You need to put up more signs next time… or an easily identifiable sock."

Ghost's lips flickered for a moment, clearly amused at some inside joke that had gone over everyone else's heads. "She didn't stray from that habit. Some dumbass locals learned some things they shouldn't have. Now we have a severed acolyte, and a local's laid a claim on it with Crypt's seal of approval."

Dima clicked his tongue in annoyance. Of course things would be more annoying than he thought. "Lovely. I'm loaded with another's debt again."

"Not my fault this time." Ghost pointed out before stopping before Waltz. "You. Heal now please."

"He looks fine to me." Tsume frowned as she got a better look at the man and determined that he didn't seem to be ruffled in the slightest.

Her thoughts came to a halt as Hana, Anko, the triplets, and Scab were uncloaked around him. The triplets had already been taken care of for the most part, but Hana and Anko were clearly a mess.

Scab clearly took the cake though. While his skin wasn't broken per say, it was blatantly clear that the man had been through a grinder. Every inch of the vertically challenged man was swollen, his skin either black, red or blue, and every limb was broken and or shattered in at least three different places, not counting his right leg which was completely gone.

In fact, the only reason why anyone was able to identify him was due to his spiked and dyed hair, and the coat he always seemed to wear.

He was in such a mess that everyone that wasn't twisted way or another in the head was anchored to their spot speechless despite the sudden appearance of Hana and Anko.

"Nothing like waking up in the morning to a Scab fuckup." Dima broke the tense silence with a passive comment and a deep breath. "So which one of the girls is it Waltz?"

"Both." The other old man grimaced and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He had hoped that Ghost had calmed down enough to care enough about public appearances to NOT reveal the girls and Scab in open public, but clearly today really was going to be one of those days.

Dima blinked, but didn't react otherwise. "… Come again?"

"I've fallen for both Dima." Ghost yawned as he dropped the meat sack that was Scabbard and the hysteric mess that was Sylvia onto the ground without any care. It was difficult to tell if the man was alive or dead, let alone breathing.

"… Shit."

"Yeah, well, think how I feel about the situation. Or don't. No one ever really does. Have to keep something consistent today for once. Other than the bloody moon." Waltz clearly didn't care who heard him as he tapped his staff on the ground lightly and drew up several pockets of pure water from the soil. Within moments the dogs, the girls, and Scab were enveloped and floating in their own floating pockets of chakra enhanced water. Sparks of life energy shimmered like glitter in the light for anyone to see, slowly healing the patients with the utmost care.

He held back an annoyed click of the tongue. Ghost had wrecked Scab so badly that the latter wouldn't be able to feel anything other than excruciating pain for the next week. If he wanted any form of satisfaction in wailing on his failure of a little brother, he'd have to wait for him to get better first.

"Free? Free! Not here! Have to… Waltz? Waltz!" Sylvia seemed to be jolted into semi-rationality upon contact with the ground and instantly looked for the closest and most reliable shield between her and Ghost she could find. "I didn't know! I wouldn't have come if I did! You know I wouldn't! But Scab! His plans! He knew but wouldn't leave me alone! He screwed up! I didn't want to help! I-!"

Throughout her mad ramblings, she had rushed to the old giant, clearly intending to put him between her and Ghost. However just as she was about to grab him and get to his back...

"Syl. You're getting particularly close to something I believe you know you shouldn't."

The tone was cold as death.

The woman froze. First in confusion, but then in absolute horror.

For the briefest of moments, her eyes flickered to the giant blue sword that was perpetually on the man's back.

"Eeeek! No nonononono! It was an accident! I forgot! I didn't mean to! Ghost! The nothing!" She instantly backed away from him and practically set herself into the confused crowd watching.

She was dead. She was so fucking dead. Normally the four brothers tolerated her existence since she was Shadow's mark. It was one of the few things that kept her alive despite all the things she's done to them, willingly and knowingly or not. But, in one day she had been identified as a co-conspirator against two of Ghost's newest and previously unknown interests, Shadow knew she was here…

… And gotten the closest to her brother's sword than she had in the last millennia.

There were many things that the Family took risks with. That weapon was not one of them. There was a reason why it was always with Waltz. It was the safest place to keep the thing.

Not that she wanted it. God's Tear terrified her for damn good reason.

Stone blue eyes met her ever shifting prism eyes, and she couldn't breathe.

The Old.

Shit. Waltz was far angrier than what others believed. He hid it well, but she knew him long enough to know better.

"You want to live?" The old man growled dangerously.

"I'd settle for a painless death over an eternity of immeasurable agony." Her honest answer, while comedic at first, really was for the best. When it came to immortals and dealing with gods, being stuck in a perpetual torture and being kept alive in the process was a very real possibility.

"How about being my stress relief toy since Crypt is clearly not available?"

"I am nowhere near as flexible as he is, and I don't naturally squeak like a rubber duck if hit in certain places, so no." She knew he secretly liked the squeaky duck noise. It soothed his nerves and reminded him of simpler times.

"Good." And with that, Waltz turned to the village and began to walk inside, followed by his patients and Ghost. "Dima! You and the brats you dragged coming?"

"So long as you let us know what the hell is going on this time before you kick us down the rabbit hole. I'm not naive to think you're above that shit."

"Do you really want to start that argument now?"

"Soul healing. By face punching."

"You're never going to let go of that incident are you?"

"So long as it gives me the higher ground on our conversations? Hell no. What you pulled that day was pure grade A bullshit." Dimitri snorted before glancing back to the woods. "Skyler. Irvine. Move it or lose it."

"… My name's Jeff." The grandson mumbled feebly as he and his equally terrified teammate slowly walked out of the forest.

"How the fuck doesn't he know your name? You're his grandson." Skyler hissed.

"No one uses my real name anymore." "Jeff" mumbled. He had been going by "Specks" for centuries now. Still, it was depressing that his grandfather had forgotten what his real name was.

Inwardly he was pretty sure that the old bastard was fucking with him, but it had been going on for so long that he had long since given up on trying to make it sink in.

The two looked at the large crowd and swallowed heavily. It wasn't that they weren't used to people in general. It was that they had been invited into Family Territory. True, the immortals laid claim to a good deal of locations across the infinite, but it was another thing entirely to enter what was essentially their home, if only for the time.

That was in general one of the few main consistent things about the Family. The vast majority of the territory under their protection were the home universes of their members. Essentially, you mess with one of their homes, you mess with everyone's home.

People, regardless of species or culture, tended to go through great lengths to ensure that no one fucked with their home if they could help it.

"Wait… what? What am I supposed to do?" Sylvia turned to Waltz confused to see the old man already walking away with Ghost and Dimitri.

"You have exposition duty! I'm too pissed to deal with this shit right now and you're the only conscious person here that knows the whole story!" The old man shouted back. Technically he didn't know if Ghost was aware of what exactly went on either, but considering that Syl had been with Scab for at least a portion of the fuckup, it was a safe assumption that she knew the most. "Standard procedure! Don't fuck up and I won't turn you inside out! Talk to Tsunade for the setup!"

Syl blinked for a few moments before moaning and putting her face into her hands. Exposition duty absolutely sucked, especially when she didn't know how much she was allowed to tell the third party in the first place. One slip of the tongue and she was again as good as dead. She didn't even notice as the other two outsiders ran past her in a cold sweat. "Who is Tsunade!?"

"The blonde hag with the cans!"

Said blonde hag with cans grit her teeth in annoyance at how she was described without hesitation. It didn't surprise her that this new woman seemed to peg her down almost instantly the instant she looked for the Hokage. It didn't surprise her, but is sure as hell pissed her off. "Waltz! Ghost! Ignoring the fact that two of my top shinobi are out of commission and half of your family is on death's door, do tell me why the hell I should even consider letting these strangers into my village?!"

Ghost lazily turned back to look at the woman, his face completely expressionless, and pointed at Dimitri. "Remember way back when I said that we'd have members of our organization over on occasion?"

"WHAT?!" Skyler and Specs shouted and stared at the old man that had been with them the entire time. "You're a Family member?!"

"On and off." Dimitri yawned, not at all bothered by their reaction. "Doesn't really get me much most days. Not with how many people these idiots piss off. It isn't something everyone shouts at the top of their lungs you know. And if you're wondering, no, I didn't know those assholes were here. I wouldn't have bothered to come in the first place if I did."

Only a handful of people knew he was talking about this universe in particular.

"How the hell does that make any sense!? Everyone knows that you-!" Skyler started on a rant, but was interrupted by his friend elbowing him in the stomach.

"Just shut up and walk inside." The well-dressed man didn't miss the barest flicker of attention that the two God killers had given them just then. He was already having trouble keeping his mind intact from being exposed to Waltz' full focus and Ghost's lingering power in quick succession. Right now he just wanted to get the hell out of this world as quickly and quietly as possible.

Tsume on the other hand, clearly didn't seem to care about the newcomers and had lost her patience. Ignoring the chills running down her spine and her instincts screaming at how bad of an idea it was, she had stomped straight to Ghost and roughly grabbed the front of his shirt. "So help me if you even try to be a wise ass I will rip off your jaw and gouge your eyes out with it. What happened to my daughter Ghost?"

If the man was intimidated by her manhandling, he didn't show it. Instead he merely shrugged. "No clue."

A vicious snarl and a rough shake of his body was her way of telling him that she didn't accept his answer.

It was normally at this point Ghost folded like a house of cards under the pressure of his status of "the poor sob dating the daughter of a strong and short tempered mother", but much like Tsume, he wasn't in the mood to pretend to be something he wasn't at the moment.

The fabric that was clenched in her hands phased through her flesh as if it was but a mere illusion, much like the rest of the individual she had been interrogating. Said subject then proceeded to walk literally right through her as if he was… well, like a Ghost.

"Believe what you want, but I merely got involved at the end of the whole mess. I know only a bit more than you do regarding Hana. Syl is the one you want to shake violently with your hairy man hands. Now if you don't mind, I'm off to empty my bathroom medicine cabinet."

"You know, most people try and stave off the nightmares when they know they're coming." Waltz pointed out factually, ignoring the woman's look of shock.

"It's mid-June." Ghost simply countered, his voice just as bored as it always was.

Both old men and Sylvia groaned in tandem.

All four brothers had their annual relapses at the turn of the New Year for a slew of metaphysical reasons, but Ghost's secondary burnout happened at the halfway point.

The thing was though, if any of them utilized their fires within the weeks leading up to these relapses, they could trigger a premature reaction. Ghost in particular was more susceptible to this reaction than the others. They could hold back the event through sheer force of will, but the longer they did so, the worse the recoil once they let loose.

There had been more than one occasion where some god or group with a bone to pick with them had attempted to take advantage of this weakness. Unfortunately for them, while it was a weakness, it also tended to make the siblings rather ornery and violent when it took place to the point that they cared significantly more about murdering the fuck out of whoever was pissing them off than the fact that they were perpetually dying, burning, self-destructing, and all of the above.

It was also during one of these events that everyone got an idea of just how absurd Ghost's tolerance of pain was, having held off his relapse for three months before going off in the face of a particularly stupid and stubborn trio of Elder Gods.

Bottom line was that he was likely holding back his body exploding and giving the people of Konoha a show they would never want or forget at that very moment.

"I don't care if it's February Thirty First! You're going to give me answers and you're going to give them to me now!" The Inuzuka matriarch was quickly losing her temper and moved forward to accost the immortal, only to be stopped by Kiba.

"Mom! Calm down! Now isn't the time to rage at sensei! Focus on sis!" It wasn't as if he wasn't pissed off at his sister's condition or at Ghost for the hundred odd things that he might have and probably did do. He was. He simply was more terrified of the man right now.

"Let go of me Kiba! I've had it up to here with that immature jackass!" The woman thrashed and nearly broke free of her son. Despite the fact that Kiba was growing into his own strength now, he still had some distance before he could match his mother's raw strength.

"Yeah! The immature jackass that hasn't been acting like an immature jackass since he got back!"

The teen's words seemed to not only resonate with his mother, but everyone else that had yet to notice that particular fact.

True, Ghost's handling of the situation had much to be desired, but his behavior itself was for the most part unusually dry. He had yet to go on a rant, insult anyone childishly, laugh, flail about like a madman, or even raise his voice.

Instead, he… was somehow on the other side of the crowd without anyone noticing and walking away as if it didn't concern him.

"Word of advice. Best not to confront him when he gets like this. He tends to care less about what people think about him." Dima stopped by the woman as he followed Waltz.

"And that's different from what he's normally like, how?" Tsume glared at the newcomer skeptically.

The old man shrugged before turning away. "He and the others haven't done anything to get kicked out of this place yet. They must really like you lot."

"Dima, please don't give anyone here more ammo than they already have. It's going to be a big enough pain to manage this shit by myself." Waltz groaned before tapping his staff on the ground. An instant later, water from below pooled up and turned into a clone. "Just follow the clone to our place and I'll meet you there. Standard building layout. Standard guest rooms."

"Huh. It's not often that you bother with clones." Dima had no reservations following the giant copy, tailed closely by his grandson and third wheel.

"Yeah well, it's not like Ghost is bothering to wait for anyone." The clone grumbled before the four vanished around the corner that the blind immortal had taken moments earlier.

"Are you sure it's ok to just let them in so easily?" Inoichi muttered to Tsunade worriedly. Normally there was a stringent process for letting in foreigners to ensure that they weren't spies or saboteurs, such as history checks.

Tsunade looked back at the lone newcomer that hasn't taken a foot inside the village yet. "You. Sylvia. Are you and the others going to be a problem?"

"Only if we want to die or be perpetually tortured horrifically." The still unsettled woman shifted about nervously.

"Why didn't you follow the others?" Chouza crossed his arms skeptically. "Aren't you part of that family organization?"

Syl opened her mouth, only to be cut off by Shukaku, who was not taking his eyes off of her. "No. She isn't. Shadow wouldn't have reacted so badly to her if she was. If anything, my guess is that she's betrayed them at some point. Am I right?"

The woman blinked several times in genuine surprise before allowing herself to laugh bitterly and take in a deep breath to calm herself down. The irregular shakes that racked her body seemed to vanish far too quickly to be natural, and her face relaxed at a similar rate. Within moments her body language had warped from twitching and traumatized to confident and care free…

… Almost identical to the Oogakari on a normal day. Minus the crazy.

That degree of personality and emotional shift was obviously not natural.

"Do you mind if we take this somewhere more private?"

Tsunade was now curious. Very curious. Too curious. More curious than she had ever been in her entire life. Unnaturally and overwhelmingly curious.

There was some confusion in her, but no anger, fear, confusion, skepticism, irritation, frustration, or alarm in her.

Much like everyone else there.

"Y-yeah. We can speak in my office."

They didn't notice a thing.

o. o. o.

Onoki glared at Roshi, as he had been doing for the past twenty minutes.

Just the two old men and Kurotsuchi. The room had been completely sealed off and isolated. He was not to be interrupted or bothered by anyone unless the village was under attack.

"I would say you're insane. I would claim that you've finally destroyed your brain from all that booze, or that your biju has messed with your head. I'd even think that you'd be a spy or be under a jutsu of some sort before believing even half the shit that you just spewed out." The Tsuchikage spoke with a low tone. Calm and slow, but as heavy as the mountains the village was surrounded by.

"Seeing is believing. And we've seen more than enough today." Roshi bitterly grinned before shakily lifting a bottle of sake to his lips.

The entire village was understandably in a state of denial, subjugation, and bewilderment. Civilians were all in hysterics, desperately trying to either return to their normal lives, or rationalizing what had just happened by bugging every and any shinobi they could get to for answers.

Sadly, the shinobi weren't much better. The prides of too many warriors had been viciously crushed in the cruelest ways possible, and the populace were left to pick up the pieces.

Really the only saving grace at the moment was that only the most experienced and hardened shinobi were able to function in the immediate aftermath. Onoki, obviously being among them, immediately issued martial law and sent everyone without proper clearance home under the pretense that Ghost, being as unpredictable and whimsical as he was, could always come back and "play" with them again. Just to be sure.

Even the viciously vocal against him couldn't argue against that logic. They hated Onoki, but the old geezer never tortured the entire populace on a whim.

It was wordlessly agreed that they couldn't let this get out. That a single man had reduced them to a shaking mess with sickeningly ease. It would ruin Iwa.

If there was any silver lining, it was that shortly after ANBU started to sweep the village, they had managed to find Deidara unconscious underground and barely alive. The shock of being killed several times while maintaining a jutsu and bleeding out of his arms had proved too much even for him. The bomber was currently being treated in a high security hospital meant for exceptionally dangerous prisoners.

That did not mean that there were no casualties though.

Ghost had kept his word. In the end, he had not murdered a single person in the village, just as no one in Iwa had been able to kill him.

However, in the chaos that he spawned, where the populace was either determined to exterminate the intruder or prevent him from having another "turn", there had been... incidents.

Not a single person would believe that he hadn't expected this to happen.

If he was asked why he didn't bring them back, he'd probably say something along the lines of "I didn't kill them. You did. It's not my responsibility what you decide to do with one another during your turn."

Just like with his other twisted and warped decisions, he'd technically be right.

No one would ever want to accept that horrible reality though, so they ignored it and blamed him all the same.

Most of the major hidden villages have populations ranging from thirty to fifty thousand people. Iwa was among the more populated, sporting an unregistered forty two thousand, second only to Konoha's fifty four. Half shinobi, half civilian, with the latter being in charge of more mundane tasks such as store management, trading, banking, building, maintenance, etc.

While most civilians had at least a basic academy's level worth of training and education, they were still considered non-combatants assets and thus were controlled when it came to possessing rights to leave the village borders themselves.

Shinobi that lived there were slightly less restricted so that missions could be done and processed faster, so it wasn't hard to believe that the vast majority of the time the civilians outnumbered the shinobi two to one at least.

Still, that didn't stop them from fighting their shinobi counterparts to kill, or not kill the intruder once the full scope of his game had been realized.

At least a hundred and fifty people, mostly civilians, had been confirmed dead already. Easily five times that number were injured.

Both tallies were expected to skyrocket as the day went on.

"I'm still having trouble believing it." Kurotsuchi shook her head. "For all we know it could have been one massive genjutsu. That chakra laced air of his could easily be the source for it."

She knew she was merely trying to convince herself of it though. The village was on lockdown, but there were a slew of shinobi that were on guard and patrol outside the village during the incident that were coming in now.

All of them had at least heard the tremendous crashes of the village being crushed by Ghost's "second turn". And not a single person had missed the colossal black twister that had completely entrapped the village during his last.

There was not a single illusion in the world, let alone combination, that could affect so many people, work over such a massive distance, and replicate the sensations of death so vividly.

And all done by one man? That fast? Not even Madara had the prowess or the power to pull something like that off.

"Would it matter?" Roshi glanced at her. "Even if that was the case, which it isn't, it's not like everyone can just live with filters for the rest of our lives. If he came back and saw it, he simply wouldn't announce himself before unleashing hell on the populace at the best possible time. He's already proven that he can sneak in here whenever he wants. We'd still be stuck at square one. Plus, War Scars isn't an illusion. You've seen the results of that move for yourself. "

"But… time travel? Gods? You've spewed out some tall tales when you're sloshed, but even this is pushing it. How do we know you haven't just imagined the whole thing?"

"Girl. I'd dare you to try and get smashed hard enough to refabricate nearly five years' worth of memories so vivid that even a Biju would take them seriously. I would, but I'm not that stupid or cruel."

The jonin bit her lip and stayed silent. It was very hard to argue against that logic. Roshi had once even allowed Son Goku to take control over his body for a short time and engaged in conversation with both Onoki and Kurotsuchi.

The Biju was surprisingly articulate and sophisticated for a living natural disaster. Certainly not stupid. She still didn't buy the whole story, but she sure as hell wasn't disregarding it.

Onoki breathed in deeply. "Then what do you suggest Roshi? You're more familiar with the situation than anyone. Any idea or way of stopping this whole village from falling into hysterics once everyone stops getting punch drunk?"

"Pin it on Akatsuki." The jinchuriki's response was fast and bitter. "Cut ties with them and grill Deidara for as much info as possible before putting him down before someone has a shot of busting him out. Then, set up a meeting with A and B with the pretense of improving ties between nations and share the info with them so we can coordinate the end of those bastards as fast as possible without raising the heckles of friends or enemies alike."

He let out an annoyed grunt, but held his tongue. Roshi had been egging him for years about dropping the mercenaries, but he had always held his ground. The S ranked criminals were just too damn convenient to have around. Apparently there had been more reason for Roshi's words of concern after all, as much as he hated to Onoki had to admit that his friend had been right the entire time.

This also could turn out very well or very poorly depending on what they did. With Deidara going apeshit in his village like he did, it wouldn't be hard to do just that and pin the blame on the organization.

Deidara, and by association, Akatsuki, were responsible for Ghost's appearance. They were responsible for their suffering, knowing full well what would happen. The blonde idiot had said that he was trying to start a war after all.

That would be the official story at least. Whether or not it was true didn't matter. He'd throw in a few more rumors into the pool just to make things interesting, along with maybe the truth for good measure, but it hopefully would be enough to placate the populace for the short run. Satisfy their curiosity and immediate confusion.

Problem was what came next. The mid and long term game.

Akatsuki was an organization had ten S ranked criminals with supposedly two sharingan users and a bloody Rinnegan user if Roshi was to be believed. A force more than enough to give any hidden village pause. Simply going out and claiming war against them would be a stupid move and open them up for counterattacks from rivals as well as enemies. Iwa was the most likely Hidden Village to start shit if another showed weakness, but they were far from the only one.

Openly declaring war was not an option. Actively going against Akatsuki wasn't either.

Problem was, he couldn't simply just ask the other Hidden Villages if Iwa could team up with them either. Akatsuki may be the reason why this all happened, but Ghost, a resident of Konoha, was in the end the culprit.

Bloody mercenaries…

… Wait.

"You have something." Roshi's eyes narrowed as Onoki focused on his desk, looking at nothing in particular.

"You're right. Blaming them is the best initial move, but we can't go overboard if what you said is true." The Tsuchikage grabbed some pater and a pen from his desk and began to write. "The populace won't be happy if we just settle for that. Even if our hands are tied by that bastard Oogakari, if we did nothing about him as well the people would be up in arms regardless within a month. We have to do something that will at least put pressure on them and Konoha for this, at least from an outside perspective, without going overboard and hurt us."

"A long term solution. Some people still won't like it." Kurotsuchi mused. It wasn't something that Iwa tended to do when it came to international politics. Normally they either muscled the other side if they were too weak, or did a smash and grab with stronger bodies with expendable forces. Then they'd just execute the expendables and apologize.

It was easier to ask for forgiveness than it was for permission after all.

It was unusual for their hidden village to be indirect. But then again, their enemy was unusual as well, to put it lightly.

o. o. o.

"Well… that was certainly educational." Zetsu's black half shivered as he slowly rose out of the ground twenty kilometers from Iwa's borders.

Just as he spoke, the air twisted a bit to his side, allowing Tobi to fall out of it bodily.

"Nice landing." White Zetsu snickered.

Both Zetsu had been in Iwa during Ghost's "game". Neither of them had escaped the man's wrath, having been somehow stuck above ground for the duration of the event.

Zetsu, both of them, were not human though. They were products that had twisted senses of self. While being killed did throw them for a loop, it did not nearly affect them as badly as the citizens of Iwagakure… or their partner.

"That bastard… he stole the Sharingan that I used for Izanagi straight from my skull." Tobi snarled before taking a moment to prevent himself from throwing up. The pain. The helplessness. He never thought he'd ever experience such things again.

"Eeeh? Wow. He really is good." White mused, tilting his head to the side as if trying to get a better view of the face under the mask.

"He's a problem." Black corrected. "He's too strong. The whole clan might be for all we know. We must get rid of them."

"That sounds tricky." White tilted their conjoined head to the side in thought. "They're not just strong. They're really strong. This one looks like he's even harder to put down than Hidan if we were given free shots. They do whatever the heck they want and don't really care about the consequences. We should consider ourselves lucky that they haven't gone after us already. Even if we did win, we'd be set back by way too long. Decades at least."

Tobi held back a grunt of annoyance and acknowledgment. His accomplices were right. The foreigners had to be dealt with one way or another, but "how" was the problem. If Akatsuki was too direct, the clan would abandon their hands off approach to everything and probably wipe out the whole operation easily.

That absurd power. Illusion or not, it had been enough to allow a single person to render an entire hidden village to its knees with impossible ease. He needed to know its source and its limits. Otherwise they might not have an effective enough counter until they managed to revive the ten tails.

Sadly, he didn't have much time to contemplate his actions as the ring on his hand pulsed, as did the one on Zetsu's.

Orochimaru's ring may have been lost, but that didn't mean that it couldn't be replaced if needed. Or that they were restricted to ten.

The two/three men glanced at one another in annoyance before finding a suitable position to sit down and meditated.

Moments later the pair materialized in one of the caves they used as a meeting location, only this one appeared to be worse for the wear with rocks fallen from the ceiling and making the room a mess.

"What is it?" Tobi asked coldly, seeing Pain and Konan as the only other members there.

"The statue is agitated." The Rinnegan user cut to the chase. "Black ember like spots suddenly showed up floating in every direction aimlessly, it started to move on its own violation. I can hold it down myself, but it won't calm down yet."

Tobi's visible eye narrowed. It must have been a problem if Pain was willingly calling him to help out with the statue. The Uzumaki avoided relying on him for anything if he could help it.

Still, this was yet another annoying problem that the Oogakari was no doubt responsible for. There was no doubt in his mind that the insane man had created the peculiar black spots that had littered the… wait.

"Those black things were in Ame too?" White Zetsu blinked in confusion. "We were in Iwa and that stuff was everywhere."

"Iwa?" Pain's eyes narrowed skeptically. No doubt he was trying to determine what exactly the two had been doing. "… Regardless, what you were doing doesn't matter. The Gedo Statue needs controlling."

Ame? That bastard's power had reached Ame all the way from Iwa? What in the world was this foreigner? "Did anything else of note happen when these spots showed up?"

The two sides stared at one another warily. It was a minor tell, but Tobi's question did reveal that he knew more of the situation than he was letting on. Konan broke the silence first. "Nothing of significance. We were preoccupied with the statue's sudden behavior."

Useless. The lot of them. "Fine. We'll be right over. I must admit, the statue acting on its own is new. It will be interesting to see what its intentions are."

"Satisfy your curiosities while subduing it. We can't risk exposing its existence to the world so early." Pain's image vanished, followed by Konan's.

"Well he's a pleasant source of conversation." White chuckled, back in his body.

"His power reached all the way to Ame and affected the statue. This can't go on." Black growled. He didn't like this one bit.

Tobi bit his lip and ignored the throbbing in his empty left eye socket. Pain expected them immediately, and he didn't blame the man since it regarded the statue. He wouldn't have time to replace his eye. The next few hours were no doubt going to tax and drain him immensely. "There is little we can do for now. The Oogakari have stayed their hands for nearly five years for seemingly no good reason. We can expect that so long as things do not affect them directly, they will return to that stance for the time being. We don't have enough to make a move against them or Konoha just yet."

"In all honesty, my clan would prefer it if some war broke out sometime. It would give us something interesting to watch. But we aren't complete assholes. We wouldn't start it or even try to instigate one through a series of convoluted and seemingly random chain of events. Not when other people are trying to start one anyways. What's the fun of knowing how things turn out? It takes the surprise out of everything."

He had time. The fools wouldn't act against them unless there was some particular reason. The girls had been the reason, and thus the Oogakari acted. All he needed to do was discover what the other sensitive topics, and either exploit them or avoid them like the plague.

He needed the Ten Tails revived, now more than ever.

o. o. o.

"This looks far enough." Naruto nodded in satisfaction before sitting down on a rock.

"Far enough" was apparently on top of a mountain ten miles away from where they started.

"Just to remind you, don't blow up anything in that direction." Sasuke pointed to where the caravan was. "People we like are over there."

"I will take that into consideration." The blonde made no promises.

Everyone remained silent for several awkward and tense seconds.

"Well then. Since you haven't exploded into rage and profanity incarnate, and you haven't eviscerated half the local wildlife yet, I'm assuming that there's something else you want us to talk about." Kakashi eye smiled like he always did.

"Just trying to think of the best way to deliver the news." Naruto matched his teacher's peaceful expression with his own.

"You could start with Ghost apparently almost killing us all. Or he did and we were just revived without knowing." Sakura crossed her arms. "Why did he go nuts like that? Better yet, what makes you think he won't have another episode?"

"Oh that? The useless excuse for one of the three great Truths of the multiverse just had a hissy fit because Anko died." Naruto shrugged, ignoring everyone stiffen in alarm. "Then he went to where it happened, revived her, and then got Hana… and if what I felt was right, he might have even killed Scab as well."

"You can tell all of that from here?" Sasuke blinked incredulously.

He scratched his chin thoughtfully and turned his head towards the Land of Earth. "Eh. Actually, it didn't happen that far from here. Lots of my abilities have gotten sharper since getting back, sensory included. Ero-Ni wasn't making any effort to hide himself either."

He turned his head back to Konoha. "Actually, they're all back home now as we speak."

"Are you... In less than half an hour he had managed to get from Iwa all the way to Konoha?" Sakura groaned and tried to process such ridiculous speed. "Ugh. I don't know what's more broken and unfair. Timespace users or bloodline users."

"Timespace." All three males spoke in unison. It wasn't even a debate.

"Thanks. Your answer was so helpful." She ground out irritably.

"Your welcome. Still, that doesn't explain why exactly you think Ghost won't have another episode. There's no guarantee that everything will be fine, unless there's something else you're going by."

Naruto shrugged. "Shion earned her keep."

"I'm going to guess that you aren't talking about how she essentially raped your mouth while covered in blood." Sasuke deadpanned.

"Ah. Young love. Good times. Good times." Kakashi nodded and smiled. "Shame Hinata probably wouldn't let us watch as she tries to one up that stunt."

"Yeah. I'd bet everyone would pay top ryo to see my blood flying around everywhere like that." Naruto had no doubts that exact scenario was going to happen at some point. It was a question of when, not if.

"Only if you let her give you a jyuken vasectomy as payment." Sakura ground out. "… Wait. Shion earned her keep? You mean…"

"She had another vision. The end of Ero-Ni's episode was the farthest back she could send herself. His powers prevented her for going any further." Naruto nodded. "The kissing was so that I wouldn't get away before she managed to see the whole thing and deliver the message before passing out. There's no telling how long she's going to be unconscious for after what just happened."

"Send herself… so when you grabbed Taruho, you were grilling him on how far she could force herself. He's probably the only one that would know other than her." Sasuke nodded, cringing at what this could mean. "So what's the time limit and how bad is it?"

Naruto kept quiet for several moments. "Her max limit is somewhere between one and two months, but her people let the rumors fall anywhere between a week and half a year to prevent anyone from getting any bright ideas."

"We don't have one to two months." Kakashi instantly picked up on that unspoken problem.

"She sent herself back shortly after arriving at Konoha." Naruto shrugged.

"Two, maybe three weeks at best." Sakura muttered. "Depending on what and where the problem is, we would be horribly short on time.

"And the problem?" Sasuke knew he wasn't going to like what was coming next, but even more he probably was going to absolutely hate what they were going to need to do to address it.

The blonde smiled calmly and folded his hands together. "At some point between now and then, Akatsuki essentially took over a rebel faction of Iwa and between the two of them, steamrolled Iwagakure, killed Onoki, took Han and Roshi, established a new government, and finally declared war on Konoha.

Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke all blinked several times and swore in unison.

Naruto allowed himself to snort in amusement. "Yeah. No kidding. Sakura, how long would it take for you and Hinata to fully heal my arms?"

"A few days at most… wait you seriously aren't considering going to Iwa?!" She snapped out of her delirium after giving an automatic answer. "Practically the entire population is out for your head!"

"You make it sound like it's the first time I've snuck into a city that had that in mind." Naruto's lips twitched in bitter amusement. "I'll be fine. My stealth abilities are absurd now. I can't use them directly in fights, but make no mistake I could sneak into any hidden village without being caught if I wanted to now. Major or not."

"But we can't." Sasuke frowned before realizing Naruto's end game. "No. Fuck no. There is no way in hell you are going alone in this Naruto."

"I can hide myself. I can't hide you. Plus I've been away for so long that we aren't acclimated to one another's skills and abilities yet and we don't have the time to fix that. We'd just get in one another's way as we are, and that isn't something we can afford on a job like this."

"You don't trust us." Kakashi glared at the blonde, annoyed and, not that he would ever admit it, hurt at the implication.

"I don't trust myself with you in a powder keg situation like this. Not as we are now. You know how badly shit tends to get around me. I'm not risking you guys in the middle of an enemy village." Naruto glared back. "No one knows where I am regardless. I have a better excuse if someone sees me there. You, Hinata, everyone else are still technically under the hag's direct control right now. If any of you are even seen when shit goes down in Iwa, just imagine just how bad it would get not only for Konoha but for the political stability of the elemental nations as a whole, even if things go our way in the end. We literally can't afford an even bigger shakeup right now."

"And we can't afford to risk losing you." Kakashi countered. "As strong as we all are, none of us are dumb to assume that you aren't our ace in the hole Naruto. Even if you can't use the Kyubi's powers or Sage Mode, all of us can tell that you're easily one of the strongest shinobi in the elemental nations right now. Throwing you into the lion's den by yourself is just suicidal. You can't handle the entirety of Akatsuki by yourself."

"Then what do you suggest? I haven't taken part in any missions to Iwa or rival nations, but I know that we don't have enough time to warn the hag, have her contact some connections, set something up, and get us in Iwa with enough time to make a solid difference in a snafu this big. It takes a week at least for any normal team to cross the distance between the villages at a bum rush unimpeded, let alone trying to avoid border patrol undetected to tip Akatsuki off that we actually know something might be up. And that's not including the fact that the most of the only people I can trust in a massive mess like this that are actually close enough to Iwa to get there in time are here. As in, they already have a prior major mission in the works." Naruto's voice was hard and annoyed. For the first time in a very, very long period, he sounded his age. His real age.

It was then that they understood what he was doing. He wasn't trying to annoy them or try to convince them that his way was best.

He was asking them for advice. Because the way things were now, him going alone really was probably their best option.

"… We all can't go with you. But there's no way in hell you're going alone." Kakashi relented.

"If anyone's going it…" Sasuke started, but Naruto cut him off.

"Sakura."

"Me?" The pinkette blinked in surprise.

"With the hag's seal, you can last longer than either one of these two. Plus, our goal is to keep Onoki and the biju in Iwa out of Akatsuki's hands. We don't want a hidden village wiped out or fallen into enemy hands, but Onoki, Han, and Roshi take priority above that. If anyone is injured, we'd need a medic, not a fighter." Naruto elaborated calmly. Obviously, he had already gone over the scenario of only one person coming with him and planned accordingly.

The scarecrow shrugged. "He's right. Sasuke and I are good for mowing down ranks, but we can't handle a hidden village and we're little good for much else. I can possibly give us an escape route but…"

"No. We need to keep both of your progress with your eyes a secret. As far as Akatsuki is concerned, the only major threats from Konoha should be me, the Oogakari, the hag and Ero-Senin. You two are strong, obviously, but not as cataclysmic as I am. Let them still think that. Iwa isn't the time or place for either of you." Naruto grimaced. Kakashi's and Sasuke's sharingan would be useful, and broken as fuck, but they weren't what he needed for this scenario. It would be like using a katana for a job where throwing a well-aimed kunai was required.

"Are you certain you are able to hide from an entire village's security and sensory system? Part of the reason why the major villages are so dangerous is because they are near impossible to fool." Kakashi probed curiously.

The blonde smirked "Flood the atmosphere with the seventh sense from a safe distance for a few days. After then the village's defense and security systems would have to be adjusted for the chakra concentrations, and more importantly, my signature. After that point, it's just a matter of keeping my core levels muted enough and I blend right in with the background. Civilians would stick out more than me to most sensors. For good measure, I'd also be hovering half a centimeter off of the ground as well to prevent any ground bases sensing techniques from picking me up too."

His teammates had to admit, the techniques and methods he describe definitely sounded like they would work, if so impossibly chakra intensive that only he would be able to pull it off in the first place.

"And after that, it would simply be a matter of hiding your image and masking your scent. Yeah… with all those combined you probably could walk around in public unnoticed so long as you weren't spotted somewhere you weren't and you don't get in physical contact with another sensor. Clever." Kakashi mused and held his chin thoughtfully. "Are you sure that you can spread out your seventh sense that wide though? Iwa isn't a small place and the mountains cover a wide range. If someone notices a chakra cloud hovering over the village itself, alarms would be raised."

"For fighting, I can use everything in a ten kilometer radius. For stealth and sensing. Triple that." Naruto smirked.

A sixty kilometer wide chakra cloud to sneak around in… yeah… that would definitely do the trick.

"Wonderful. You leave an ass and come back comprised of complete bullshit." Sasuke groaned, giving his unspoken approval. Naruto might as well just be his rival in name only at this point.

"I've had a head start. Give it a few years and you'll be… well, almost as broken as me. You probably still need the time to get used to your eyes of hax at full throttle. Get back to me when you can spam Susanoo with Amaterasu without trouble." The blonde smirked.

"You'll be the first to know. Trust me." The Uchiha deadpanned. There was something tremendously frustrating about his best friend knowing his best moves before they were even mastered.

"Back on topic, this trick only works for me. Like I said, I'm not good enough to completely mask other people with it. I can match my chakra with other people for transferring power, but masking them without setting off every alarm isn't gonna happen."

Sakura grimaced. "I'm a medic, a taijutsu expert and a genjutsu expert, but stealth and infiltration isn't my thing. Especially not on this level. If I was able to get into Iwa that easily, then Konoha could have easily taken them out from the inside by now."

Ironic. Sakura was the one he'd pick before the other two, yet Kakashi and Sasuke were more adept at stealth missions.

"… If you did go by yourself, hypothetically, how would you get out without blowing up everything to kingdom come and causing mass genocide?" Kakashi warily asked.

A flick of the wrist later, the cyclops had a familiar tri-pronged kunai in his hand.

"That'll do." Sasuke admitted.

"I thought you suck at timespace techniques." Sakura frowned in confusion before remembering that the blonde's parents' souls were still in him. "Oh. Right. That could work…"

"Just in case, I'd leave that one somewhere where there aren't a lot of people. Chaos incarnate and all that." Naruto shrugged.

Wonderful. He had just guaranteed at least one of them had to go back. Problem was that they were a team, so it would instantly raise alarms if one or more of them was missing upon return.

"Is Sensei even able to teleport you that far at once? Let alone with guests?" Kakashi absently played with the heavy weapon in his hand, twirling it about absently to get used to its weight and chakra conductivity.

"Mom and Dad are technically weaker than they originally were if I try to bring them out since they are running off of donated chakra and can't generate their own. Even if I am a generous donator." The son smirked. "But did you really think I'd be the only one getting stronger from this trip? They might not have bodies anymore, but there are other ways to grow and develop."

"Considering that the fox can use Presence now, I'm more than willing to believe that." Sasuke recalled Hinata's group telling them about the episode with the foreigners shortly before his team arrived.

That was right. Naruto was never alone. He not only had the fox, but his parents inside him. The latter two leeched off of his power in order to stay present in his body, but considering that Naruto was practically on par with the biju when it came to chakra reserves, that wasn't such a big deal.

The three looked at the blonde warily. It really was sad in an ironic way. The one of the most likely reasons why their friend hasn't gone completely crazy yet was because he had three additional voices in his head.

"How long would it take you to fly to Konoha and Iwa? Could you fly others?" Kakashi probed.

"There and back? A few days at most, even with passengers, but people would definitely know I returned if I did. Too many back home are already familiar with my signature, and my Seventh Sense isn't as subtle as Ero-Ni's." Naruto rose his hands in defeat. "That route would have too many people suspicious once the dots were connected. If things do go pear shaped, that would load even more blame on the hag and destabilize Konoha's position politically in the process, which we can't afford. I'm not exactly subtle with my methods when I fight you know. No, if I bring anyone with me, it has to be with the hag having full immunity to being blamed for my actions."

"That's going to be pretty hard to prove once Shion and Hinata's team get back with all the servants and tell Tsunade-sama what you did. Even if we get back after all this happens, the fact that you were with us for a long while won't change." Sakura frowned.

"You have two sharingan users and a bloody mind walker in your team. Do I really need to spell it out for you?" His comment caught them by surprise.

"You, you want us to wipe them?" Sasuke blinked, not expecting his friend to suggest such a thing. Wiping memories was doable, but was considered an extreme, even in severe situations. So much so that no one outside a select few were supposed to even know that Konoha shinobi were even capable of doing so in fear of a massive hit to their public image and negotiation power.

It was not an order that was made lightly. Even killing witnesses happened more frequently.

"I want as little proof and trouble for everyone as possible from this." Naruto frowned. "I was a fox for the entirety of Hinata's mission. The only people that know who and what I am since I joined up are travelling with us. Once I leave, so does my story of being with you. You had no contact with me after I ditched Zabuza and the Mizukage. Hinata's team will back you up on this, and Shion will too. She's better than we gave her credit for, and messing with her head now is too dangerous. She can't fight, but she sure as hell can play the game. Everyone else gets scrubbed clean."

"This is extreme, even for you Naruto." Sakura didn't like this. As Ino's best friend, she knew exactly what he was asking, and did not approve in the slightest.

The blonde looked like he bit a lemon. "I'm not exactly thrilled about it either. I'm not an advocate of mind fucking others after what I've been through… literally at least. Sadly we don't have the time or the people to be generous. At the very least, we're just removing me from their memories. Nothing actually important in the long run so it's not like we're doing any damage to them in some way."

This was getting worse and worse. The more Naruto was planning, the more Kakashi realized he had to do something and soon. The blonde was trying too hard to tackle the problem while minimizing the problems back home. On paper what he was doing made sense, but the ease that he planned it worried Kakashi. If they left him alone in Iwa, there was no telling what he'd do in order to try and separate the blame from Konoha. He might even claim to be a missing nin if things really went south.

The blonde was certainly self-sufficient and strong enough to pull it off, but it was still a direction that no one wanted him to take.

Infiltrating a hidden village was already considered an act of war. True, technically all the major villages had a few spies in the other villages, but none of the said spies were actually people of importance. They were scrubs. Loose ends. Disposables. As easily replaceable as kunai and shuriken.

Sending a heavy hitter though was something that couldn't be ignored or played off. Even the best spies rarely ever got sent into the heart of enemy territory. They were too valuable and consistent to risk.

Naruto was grasping at straws. The people he could contact and possibly take with him didn't have valid alibies once word got out. And of those people, only one or two, including Kakashi, were able to contribute more to the situation more than they were likely to risk blowing it or die once the fighting broke out.

An all out brawl with Akatsuki in an enemy village? The only people Kakashi could think of that even had a hope of surviving that were Naruto, himself, Tsunade and…

"… Naruto. I know who you can take."

o. o. o.

Jiraiya sneezed.

"I hope you turned away, Jiraiya boya." Pa grumbled, not looking back at the human.

The Sanin sniffed and nodded without uttering a word.

It would not be proper to do so in front of the body of the Great Toad Sage. The elder who had given him the prophesy that determined the fates of so many all those years ago.

o. o. o.

"… My my. You poor boy. No wonder you're little more than a wild animal."

Words. Yes. The sounds she had made were called words. They had meaning. They were used to make interactions between two people clearer…

People? What were people? That word, he knew what it meant at one point, but he couldn't figure it out now.

Everything hurt. Again. The great pain had come again. Ever since he was in this new place. This tiny trap. The pain came less often. He was attacked less than before… but the pain. The great pain still came. It always came. He couldn't even move now. The great pain was too much.

Tired.

Why? Most things that hurt stayed away after the great pain. At least for a short while. But this thing remained.

Words. Yes. She used words. Were they for… him?

All his nerves were numb from the pain. He couldn't even tell that the female had gotten close enough to brush the hair away from his face. He couldn't feel her footsteps. He couldn't smell her. He couldn't feel the wind she made as she moved.

"Over and over again. There's no escape for you, is there? Pain unlike any other. Pain that can rip you away from death itself… how fascinating."

Words. He had known what they meant at one point. Some at least. Or did he? He didn't even know anymore.

"I apologize for not coming earlier, but I do not wish to die. I was given this job by people that expected and wanted me to be butchered. Your brothers have told me all about my predecessors and their attempts to reason and educate you. Two men slain and eaten within moments of entering. A third merely slain with only a bite taken… your brother joked that you hated Chinese food. Quite a morbid sense of humor that one."

With as much strength as he could muster, he attempted to growl. To tear apart this one like all the others that got too close. Only the old and the one who plays with everything could fend him off. They were kin, they burned and smelt like he did, but they no doubt wanted what was his. His territory. To establish dominance. But he could wait. He would get them too soon enough.

So tired.

"Shhh. There's no need for that. There's no need to fear me. Poor boy." Despite his attempts, the strange one didn't go away. Instead she continued to lightly trace her hands across his emaciated body. His skin clung to his bones, leaving little to hide. No matter how much he managed to eat, whether the flesh of his prey, the food of the land, or the concoctions of his captors, he would not gain weight. He didn't know what weight was to begin with.

He shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like this. This was wrong. She would hurt him. The pain would come again, but never had it been so soon. He had to escape. He had to run. But he couldn't run.

"Fear… yes that's understandable. Expected. I see now. You're scared of the pain. The inevitable torture that will always come. It's robbed you of so much that it's the only thing left to define you anymore." She knelt down and two hands lifted up his weary head.

The pain was coming. He knew it. So many went for the neck. They all started like this. There was nothing else but the pain. Sometimes there was less, but it was always there. The only thing he could do was lessen it. Food. Water. Running. Killing. Those staved off the pain, but it came back. It always came back. And it was going to come no-?

His thoughts paused as his upper body was dragged forward and cradled gently. Akin to… something. Something he had forgotten and yearned for before the pain. Before the pain? What was there before the pain?

"The pain will come. It will always come. There is no escape for you… but I can at least help make the time between pleasurable. Enjoyable even, if you can manage such feelings again. Sadly, someone like you will never be happy by yourself. You are completely incapable of maintaining yourself. Not now, not ever."

He didn't know what she was saying, but the warmth she gave. The softness. The smell of a female. The proximity without any signs of attacking him. He shifted uncomfortably. It was… nice. Too nice. Opposite of the pain. Overwhelming even.

He didn't like it for some reason. He tried to escape, but was too tired. His body wouldn't respond. It never would right after the great pain.

So tired it was crippling.

"Yes… you are unable to be human by yourself. You'll fall apart again eventually, alone, regardless of how much you recover and how well you initially do. Your bothers are trying to put you back together, but they are far too late for that. There is nothing left of "you" but mere ashes and debris. I've only heard rumors of individuals that have been as broken down as you have. Rendered to little more than instincts and emotions like a wild animal. We'll have to work the new "you" from scratch and pepper it with what's left. Much like a newborn child with traits from its parents. But what to use as your base, I wonder?"

There was a hunger in her voice. He shifted more. He didn't like it. It was warm and comforting and soft… but he was still a prey. But she didn't attack. Why didn't she attack? Where was the pain?

"This is so exciting. Yes, someone with as much power and potential as you, with your brothers' finances to back me up, putty in my hands. A blank slate with a great deal of resources. The possibilities are endless. It will take time, certainly, but I can certainly use this to both our benefits. They hypothesize that you can control your time space because you're so fast despite being so skinny and malnourished. Reverting to a younger state… gaining at least some healthy weight… yes, you could be quite a catch if your brothers are used as a reference…" She spoke, but he had a feeling it wasn't to him.

She wasn't going to attack. He was prey, but of a different sort. He didn't know what but there was no pain. That was good at least. She seemed content to play with his hair while resting his head on her legs. Odd.

So tired he would not be able to stay awake much longer.

"A name. Yes, my apologies. You need a name. Of course you need a name. You had one, but the old you clearly is no longer here. Giving you that one would just confuse and give everyone false expectations and hope. Hmmm. They called you the Ghost of Nirvana. Ghost… the spiritual remains of a person that once was, of one that cannot pass on. Yes, that will work nicely. My little, adorable, lost, Ghost."

His eyes began to close. This was comfortable. More than trees. More than the rotting bodies of his prey. More than the odd den floors he was provided. He had trouble staying awake.

This was nice… for a brief moment… he wasn't worried about the pain.

"Ah. My apologies. I never did tell you my name, did I Ghost?" Her voice echoed through his consciousness. "I'm Nichole Visser, your new psychologist, psychotherapist, teacher, and overall personal doctor. It's a pleasure to meet you. I have a feeling that we're going to be together for a very long time. Let's take that time to get to know one another as best as we can, shall we?"

So very tired.

o. o. o.

Omake:

He had woken up early.

Three years, give or take, if the system was anything to go by.

Oh well, if humanity had yet to come to terms with itself by now, then it would not be able to in what little time remained. Hamura's task would be fulfilled and the world would be destroyed once he obtained the Princess of the Byakugan…

… Where were his puppets?

He had no eyes, and could not see himself, however there were a plethora of ways around that. All about the compound were devices linked up to the energy vessel for the Tenseigan, much like himself.

… What?

Destroyed.

Nearly all of the devices that his clan had constructed and relied on were ruined. Some were shattered. Others were torn apart. Crushed. Thrashed…

… Chewed on?

Indeed, a good majority of the constructs appeared as if a pack of wild dogs had decided that the machines would make appropriate chew toys, gnawing on them so that all the limbs and head were ripped off of the bodies, and the insides were thrown about recklessly.

And yet, there were no signs of fighting, or that anyone else was here in the first place. No bodies. No blood. From what he could tell, humanity had yet to achieve the techniques or technology needed to reach the moon in the first place, so who or what had come here in the first place?

He had almost begun to lose patience when he saw it. It was embarrassing, since it was literally scrawled across the entirety of the chamber containing the energy sphere in letters so massive that it would be hard for anyone to miss… but he was the only one left alive in his clan so thankfully no one had seen his screwup.

That brief moment of relief however did not last long.

Written in huge red letters around the room, in handwriting that was barely legible, as if by the hand of an infant, was the evidence of his target.

Zuzushi wuz here. Ah am the greatest and your toy humans taste like crap. Make better ones next time. With ketchup.

And stuffed with garlic and shawarma. Shawarma is awesome.

From Zuzushi.

P.S. Squeak.

... New plan. Rebuild the army. Get the Princess of the Byakugan. Find, torture, and murder this Zuzushi. THEN destroy the world. Simple.

He watched what could only be described as a crude human centipede of puppets, with the heads of one puppet lodged in the anus area of the next to keep them together, fell from one of the rafters of the room and landed bodily on the floor far below him.

… This was going to take a while.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Thanks Kagaseo for betaing.

Yeah… this chapter fought me. It took way longer than I thought to finish this.

I wanted to throw in a scene from future chapters that would have everyone hyped for when I get back to this, but I'm too lazy now.

Let's just say that Naruto fights dirty when he wants to. Really dirty.

… As in, he's met Sans dirty.

I can't get megalovania out of my head. I just love that song.

As for that bit in the end with Nicole and Ghost, well I felt like it was appropriate to slip in a little bit of a hint as to what went down way back then. Think of Nicole as a… professional, sociopathic, mature version of Harley Quinn, with a PHD in two branches in psychology. I'm not going to go into much detail about her… but yeah, there's a reason why most of the family hates her.

I play MTG. Shadows over Innistrad is fucking amazing. Just saying.

My birthday is Thursday. I'm turning 27… god I'm old.

But I have a solid job in engineering and get paid, so fuck it.

Also. Dark Souls 3 next week. YES.

… This is a reeeeeaaaaalllly bad time to start to pick up on FFD again, isn't it? Fuck it.

But yeah, in case anyone forgot, I'm working on FFD again. This was the last TTRT chapter till October/November.

Ah, I can hear my fans rejoice and virtually every fate related fanfiction forum on the internet scream in anguish while crying blood even now. Suffer! Suffer I say!

… Not much in this A/N this time. Still working. Still writing. Still pumping out stories. Going to Anime North and all that. Maybe Connecticon too if my luck holds out.

Oh, and I know this will probably go ignored, but I still would like it if people did some fanart or updated the tvtropes page. Thanks.

So that's it guys!

REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! FACE PUNCHING SOLVES EVERYTHING! AND REVIEW AGAIN!