Take Two Round Two

by Third Fang

What do you get when you cross several interdimensional god like beings, raw boredom, a world of Naruto that went wrong, several years worth of off screen training, common sense, insanity, humor, sarcasm, the Log, explosions, plot, and overall chaos? Apparently a lot of headache medicine for Tsunade. May the Games Begin. Sequel to Yet Again With A Little Extra Help.

31. Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty: The secrets we don't want to know forever haunt us. Damn you monkeys.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OC's and new Jutsu in the story as well as every ounce of pure awesome spawned by this.

o. o. o.

Konoha was dead silent.

The entire arena's populace was hypnotized by what they were seeing.

Naruto was an infamous member of their village. Much like the Oogakari, there was barely anyone that didn't know of his childish personality, upbeat attitude, terrible luck, penchant for screwing around with everyone, and the fact that the few people in the village more insane than him had a tendency to abuse him to no end.

People knew that he was strong. He was the Kyubi Jinchuriki. How could he not with such a monster inside of him?

Shinobi were aware that he was clever and smarter than he looked. His mission reports were frequently used as reference materials for what to and not do when their jobs go extremely wrong.

Those close to him knew these things intimately. They joked about it frequently, but it was more akin to how war veterans made jabs about the hellish situations they had experienced, making light of something that they all knew they never wanted to go through again.

But that was three years ago.

Whatever they had seen. Whatever they had experienced. Whatever they had expected, was drowned and smothered by what they were witnessing at that very moment.

This, this was what behind the mask. This was the face of a kid that had been pushed too far, and now had the power to push back. Against people. Against a village. Against the world… it didn't matter.

What mattered, was that he was pushing back. Hard.

In one part of the arena, all eyes were either glued to the giant screen showing a cataclysm tearing apart a mountain range in real time, or to the small fox that was quietly watching with them.

"Naruto. Are you fucking serious?" Sasuke calmly voiced his thoughts, allowing himself to swear for once.

"Shut up. I looked for a way to maximize my abilities and I found one. I wasn't going to limit myself to being some idiot that just ran, jumped, made clones and threw balls of power around as if it would solve all my problems like every idiot out there who discovered they had special powers." The clone calmly retorted, not at all bothered by the way everyone was reacting to him. "Don't look at me like I can do all this at will. It takes three days to set up Heaven's Fall. Throw the Level Two clones on top of that, the Original has been working nonstop since arriving in Iwa. I'm not pulling any punches this time."

"There's a difference between not pulling punches and usurping the natural order of the planet." Kakashi stressed his words, his Sharingan eye out and not missing a single detail.

The fox turned to glare at his teacher, expressing genuine annoyance for the first time in a while. "Tell that to the freaks out there that can do it better than me."

Kakashi opened his mouth to reply, only to pause as Naruto's words registered with him. "… Yes well, I don't know any. Outside of the obvious."

"Consider yourself lucky."

"Naruto." Sasuke glared at his best friend accusingly. "I thought you said that you were preparing all of us so that we could tackle this shit together and not be overdependent on the monsters like you."

"Yeah. Well. Hope for the best." The clone turned its attention back to the fight.

"And prepare for the bullshit beyond the worst. Not my fault that I've seen too much bullshit these past few years."

"You, really don't see what you're doing right now as anything special, do you?" Hinata came to a conclusion that made her genuinely worried deep down.

The clone didn't answer her question.

o. o. o.

"Gaara."

The Kazekage blinked. It was the only physical response he had to his Biju speaking up for the first time since Naruto came. "You're awake."

"In more ways than one."

The beast's tone was, for lack of a better term, sedated. Had anyone unused to the Biju heard him, they would not have been able to determine the change, however Gaara was able to pick it up instantly.

"That brat… I don't know how Kurama can deal with him." Shukaku continued, sounding more like an old man than the hyper aggressive monstrosity he normally was. "He blew my head off, and yet somehow I can think clearer than I have in centuries."

"Most would consider that a good thing." Gaara didn't know what to make of the sudden development, however, the events in Iwa took priority. "He balanced the natural energy in your body. Apparently it was the main source for your unhinged behavior."

"Tch. That bastard fox is never going to let me live that down." Instead of raging like he normally would, the biju settled for sulking. "… Naruto Uzumaki. He's different."

"That goes without saying." Gaara was mesmerized by his friend's display of power. Being the Kazekage, he had witnessed more than a few forbidden wind techniques before, but what Naruto was doing was on another level. The twisters he was manifesting were completely different from the norm, taking shape from the heavens above and dropping down like titans reaching for the earth. It was if holes were being punched through a membrane in the sky, allowing the contents from further up above to drop down with the force of nature accompanying it.

It almost reminded him of when he went all out in the desert in a way, controlling all the sand in the desert to the point of fantasy.

"Don't flatter yourself. What that human is doing is a step, no, a half a step further than what you can accomplish with my help." Shukaku corrected him factually. "It might not sound like much, but that half a step can appear like an eternity to most. Don't compare it to those pathetic tricks you call jutsu."

"What do you mean?" It was the way the beast had talked about Naruto's performance that caused the Kazekage to pause and look inward. It was obvious that what he was doing was a powerful technique, but there apparently was more to it than that.

The biju groaned, annoyed as if he was asked a stupid question. "Aaaah. Since when do you rely on me for everything? Idiot human. Reach out with your Presence and feel it for yourself. If I can tell what's going on from in you, then you should be able to pick it up just as easily."

"My range can't extend as far as Iwa. At best, I can vaguely scan the desert in the country due to my nature. You know-"

"Not the desert you short sighted meat monkey. The sky. Feel and look at the sky and the currents it carries."

The sky? Gaara blinked in confusion and turned his head to the window in his office that pointed north. He didn't see anything out of the ordinary in that direction. Focusing a little bit, he pulled his attention up, away from the sands of the desert that were almost akin to his very body and-

"?!"

"Gaara?" Kankuro glanced at his brother, the first to notice that the redhead had suddenly went stock still while looking out the window. "What is it? Is something happening here?"

"You can feel it from here."

"Huh?" Temari was next to turn her attention away from the fight. "What do you mean? What Uzumaki's doing looks a lot like what you do with your sand, which is unbelievable in itself at times, but there's no way that we'd be able to feel that mess from all the way over here."

"I can control the sand. At times, I'm close to even being the desert itself, but…" Gaara swallowed heavily, his eyes glued to the horizon in the distance. In contrast, he was not at all interested in the screen just a few feet away. "Naruto. What on earth did you find while you were gone?"

o. o. o.

Chakra was a wonderful thing at times. It was such a flexible resource, it seemed to bypass all conventional rules of logic if the user knew what they were doing.

Such as being able to talk and be heard over the roar of countless twisters in the immediate vicinity.

"Deidara! Fall back! You're in no condition to fight in this!" Pain spoke slightly louder than his usual tone, using chakra to amplify his voice.

"To where?! Going back's the same as going forward at this point! Mm!" The bomber grimaced, holding onto his floundering mount with his lone hand as it tried to ride out the erratic air currents that plagued the area. A quick glance back only further cemented his claims as he saw more twisters touch down, all but enclosing them in a meteorogical nightmare.

"How the hell is he doing this? I don't sense the Kyubi's power at all in this jutsu." Kakuzu grimaced as he shielded his face from the kicked up dust. "Something on this scale, it reminds me of Hashirama all over again."

Sasori in contrast, seemed to be the least perturbed by their situation, examining the twisters that were approaching them with mild interest. "Mmm. I agree. The Kyubi jinchuriki is more troubling than I heard. As much as I loathe to admit it, it would be best for all of us to work together on this one. Take him down before he has an opportunity to use his beast's power. The dust is annoying." If he wasn't careful, it would get in his joints and hinder his movements.

"Annoying… dust…" Pain frowned as he looked around briefly, his chakra shielding his eyes from the irritant. It didn't take him long to prove his suspicions right. "Don't be fooled. He's kicking dirt and throwing it in our faces with his jutsu in conjunction with the twisters."

"Cunning little bastard. Nothing worse than a trickster with an absurd amount of power and options at his disposal. He's mixing his moves up even when he's already at an advantage. No telling what he's going to do or has already done the way things are. It's almost safer to deal with the biju itself." Kakuzu grimaced, turning to face the closest twister that was heading straight to them.

"Don't jinx us! Do you want to make this worse?!" Deidara yelled from his elevated perch, only to pause in between breaths as something caught his attention. "Ah you have to be kidding me! He's screwing with air composition too!"

"What?" Pain frowned in concern.

"Hurry and filter your breathing! He's changing the balance natural chemicals in the air to try and poison or suffocate us!" Deidara shouted, already ahead of them. It was a tiny change in the way the air tasted, smelled, and felt. Something only a handful of experienced shinobi would be able to pick up quickly, primarily ones that excelled in high atmospheric travelling, deep sea exploration, or gas based ninjutsu.

"A three-pronged approach in this chaos?" Sasori frowned. As a puppet, he wasn't worried about being poisoned, but the fact that Naruto was attacking them from such different ways all at once was peculiar. This sort of wide scale rapid fire diversity should be expected when facing an entire platoon or company of elite shinobi, not from a single individual.

None of them seemed to care that the closest twister was right on top of them.

"Shinra Tensei." With a wave of force, Pain obliterated the oncoming twister with ease. The size and scale of the funnel would have been more than enough to drain an elite shinobi, and waste lesser warriors without stopping, yet to him it was a minor annoyance. "Keep your eyes open. I doubt the Kyubi would stop at-"

"WAAAH?! Again?! Watch out below!"

Without a moment's hesitation, Sasori, Kakuzu and Pain jumped away as Deidara's mount fell out of the sky and divebombed the earth. Upon contact, the construct self-destructed in a massive explosion that shattered the stone and dirt, soon ripped away from the chaotic winds.

"I think your point's been made." Kakuzu grimaced as he skidded away from the explosion, shielding himself from the errant stones that were thrown in his direction.

"It's that fucking jutsu! Both him and that asshole Oogakari! Every time I'm near them, I drop from the sky like a fucking rock!" Deidara finally managed to put two and two together as he landed next to Sasori.

"Good to know. Here's a suggestion. Don't fly when you're near him like an idiot from now on." The puppet master scanned the way the twisters were moving analytically. Despite being surrounded and the fact that the funnels were not slow by any means, the rate at which they were being attacked directly was unnervingly slow.

In fact, the nearest three massive twisters to them were just travelling around-?!

"MOVE!"

o. o. o.

The display showing Akatsuki zoomed up and out, giving an aerial view of their positions and the twisters that were nearby. It was immediately obvious to the audience that Sasori's suspicions were correct, as all three funnels were not only the exact same size and distance from one another, a good hundred something meters away from the shinobi group, but also travelling in a perfect circle around the enemy as well.

A circle that was physically taking form.

"Sky Style. Grand Pillar."

Generated and supported by the three preexisting drills, an outer ring that encompassed all of them churned its way into existence. A titanic construct of nature that was terrifying to witness, even from a distance, as the earth beneath it and the sky above seemed to groan under the weight and mass of its deceptively slow image. Its entire body was black from the debris it took in from the environment, streamlined with the white streams of high velocity winds and vapors that had no hope of escape.

The outer walls stayed where they were.

The three smaller twisters that were inside, on the other hand, began to grow.

"Leyline."

It was like watching three drills set next to one another meet. Each one attempting to gain on the other as their edges clashed, never wearing away or chipping. Each section that they met was nothing less than a fissure grinding up everything that entered it into oblivion.

The center even mo-

"SHINRA TENSEI!"

Before the three drills could meet, an orb of raw power manifested in the center of the chaos like an indestructible wedge, somehow managing to push back all three contained twisters without overpowering them. Instead, the chaos turned into a titanic struggle for survival, with the leader of Akatsuki in the center of it all.

Say what you would about Pain. No one would ever deny his power.

o. o. o.

Minato frowned in annoyance as he teleported a few hundred meters away from the Gobi. Under normal circumstances, he should have defeated the Biju by now. The creature's chakra was overwhelming to deter most shinobi from getting in close, however he was cloaked in another, stronger Biju's chakra, and he knew Presence to boot.

True he wasn't the stronger force in this fight in raw power, but he was certainly the better one. All he would have needed to do was slap on a few dozen high grade seals on it with the Kyubi's power as a boost and boom, one downed giant horse, dolphin… thing.

Problem was, these weren't normal circumstances.

Not with the beast half covered in whatever moss plant substance Zetsu was made of was.

The creature's gaze was dull. Its movements were sloppy and uneven. It didn't take a genin to tell that it wasn't moving under its own violation. In fact, its appearance reminded Minato of the victim of some of those parasitic plants and insects Naruto had encountered on their travels. Still, if controlling the beast was all Zetsu had done, then the Kage wouldn't be having this much trouble.

The issue was that whatever Zetsu was enabled him to absorb chakra from his host. That included the seals that Minato had attempted to place on the biju earlier.

Beating one of these monsters in general was hard enough. Beating them via raw power was damn near impossible, and it certainly was not the Fourth Hokage's forte. Not on this scale at least.

Massive Rasengan variants were Naruto's thing, not his.

As of now, the possessed Gobi was stuck in a constant loop of trying to get to Naruto, getting hit hard and being thrown off course by Minato, and temporarily trying to kill Minato. Progress was slow on the monster's part, but there was progress. Especially since Minato was slowly starting to run out of power.

The monster probably would have made more ground too if it weren't for the titanic twisters running interference. Each funnel was larger than the beast itself, and yet, even when they made direct contact with the target, it only served to unbalance, distract, and slow down the beast, like setting up obstacles to prevent a sprinter from achieving their top speed. The Gobi couldn't plow through the twisters, but on the other side of the coin, the damage done to the Gobi was ultimately superficial.

The man glanced back at the single tail he had left, ignoring the shockwave made as the monster was hit from the left flank by another tornado and made it stumble. He had used up a good portion of his reserves to pump up his techniques enough to affect the titanic creature, but he couldn't keep it up forever.

Judging from its movements, it was going to try and make a break for Naruto again. Despite its massive size, the thing was impossibly fast. Its acceleration was nothing to scoff at either, all thanks to its long and powerful legs. Thankfully, what it had in speed, it lacked in maneuverability, at least when it came to turning.

He wouldn't dare forget the possibility of it jumping again. The massive crater it left from the last time he had made that mistake had almost rivaled a Bijudama.

Thankfully, speed was something he too was exceptional in.

Through the white and green substance that supposedly was plantlike in origin, the Kage spied the Biju's muscles ripple and tense, ready to move into a sprint within the next few seconds. A single step with its massive hooves could crush anything less than a mountain with ease, and stopping its charge head on could only be done with a feat that came from another Biju level entity.

He tended to avoid the crude language that his son tended to use when annoyed, but in this case he had to agree with his progeny.

Possessed enemies were a fucking pain in the ass. Especially when Biju were involved.

Absorption types were also exceptionally annoying to deal with.

His seals didn't disappear instantly, but it was fast enough to prevent anything long lasting. At best a few seconds. Longer if he used Presence, however combining the two was difficult. Like putting your full weight against a fragile gesture.

Still, he was running out of options, and even fewer enabled him to hit the creature with sufficient force.

Still, he did have a couple.

With a flick of the wrist, the spinning Hiraishin kunai on the index finger of his right hand struck the ground in front of him. Before the sound had even reach his ears, his hands were already reaching for two more of its kin from the pouch on his back.

"Naruto. Aim for the head."

Both arms blurred. One glint of metal darting straight for the biju at a fast speed…

The other though, went straight up in the air at nearly triple that.

"Hiraishin Level Two."

In a yellow flash, Minato reappeared to grab the tool he threw straight up and immediately repeated the process, launching it up even higher.

And higher.

And higher.

By the time his first dagger had reached the Gobi, the man had already reached the clouds above and was nearly above the thick blanket.

"What is he doing?" One of the Zetsu that made up the mucus like membrane around the Biju muttered. "I can't see him."

"Move! He threw a kunai at us! He's up to something!" Another shouted, spotting the speeding dagger heading straight towards the Biju.

In a move of surprising agility, the Gobi sidestepped quickly, a movement unusual for a creature of its size and build, taking it away from the seemingly harmless dagger's path…

Unfortunately, the wind "conveniently" chose that moment to blow in another direction, pushing it straight on course with the monster's head, stabbing into its thick fur harmlessly.

Not even an instant later, Minato reappeared with a flash, right on top of where his marker landed. One hand grabbed onto the knife that landed, tossing it behind him.

The other, empty hand, pressed firmly on the creature's skull.

The Hokage's eyes narrowed darkly, the Kyubi's cloak around him flickering wildly as its power thrummed under his control.

"Hiraishin."

An instant of vertigo later, Zetsu and the Biju all winced, blinking at the sudden change in light as they were warped above the clouds. They were in a world unlike where they had been just moments before, where the sun wasn't masked by the chaos of usurped wind.

By the time they all managed to regain their senses, Minato was already gone.

And the Kunai that he had thrown up in the air earlier was firmly stabbed into the bridge of the Gobi's nose, absolutely thrumming with the Kyubi's chakra.

All of the Zetsu's eyes widened in alarm. "Oh shi-"

Back on firm ground, standing next to his first thrown kunai, Minato finished making his seals, watching the Kunai he had tossed away earlier finish its decent to terra firma.

"Falling Thunder God. Level Two."

BOOOM!

The Biju didn't so much crash into the earth as it did collide with the planet as if it was a meteorite. With a speed to match.

Head. First.

o. o. o.

"Oooooooooooh!" Nearly everyone watching winced at once, practically feeling impact and the Biju's spine, along with everything else in the area, shattering on impact.

"Aaaah." Ghost squirmed in his seat in obvious discomfort. "Borderline light-speed piledriver. That brings back some unwanted memories."

"For you." Dima smirked. "I, on the other hand, just got a wonderful sense of nostalgia."

"Oh yeah. I totally forgot you pulled the exact same thing on Ghost." Shadow snickered. "Nearly caught me in the impact too."

"It's not funny! I was walking weird for a week after that clusterfuck." Ghost pouted, twisting and stretching his back as if he could still feel the aftereffects from that fight.

"Least you were walking." Dima's smirk dropped. "You nearly put me down for good that time."

"Your welcome. Considering how much of a pretentious ass you were as a kid and the shit you pulled, you should consider yourself lucky with how patient I was." Ghost stuck his nose up in the air stiffly before shifting around uncomfortably. "Ugh. Just remembering that hit almost… almost… oh shit."

"Ghost. My back feels strange." Hana grimaced as she also started to shift uncomfortably.

"You too?" Anko frowned.

"Ghost." Dima frowned, noticing that the girls weren't the only ones that were suddenly odd if the audience were anything to go by. "This is…"

"Fuck!" Shadow swore, her eyes wide in a way that told everyone that they screwed up. "We didn't set up a filter on the screens!"

"You forgot? When you're filming an Acolyte?" Sylvia looked at her incredulously. "How?"

"The screen was set up for local use years ago! We didn't think we'd use it for anything exceptional!"

"Scab. Cut the feed." Ghost ordered under his breath, his voice carrying to places that it would not travel under circumstances. "Waltz. We need a mass severing. Now."

"Ghost?" Hana was feeling more uncomfortable with each passing second. Her spine from the neck down was hurting more and…

A chill went down her spine. For the briefest of moments, she felt something literally slice through her like the wind, and then…

"Huh?" She blinked as the sensation vanished and she was back to normal. "What?"

"Care to explain what that was about?" Anko frowned, noting that the massive screen in the arena was now showing chibified members of the Family maiming one another in poorly animated comedic ways under a "We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by" sign.

"That, is what happens if you're not careful with the more, esoteric and dangerous beings in existence." Walking out from the shadows of the arena's hallway, Waltz casually walked to the group as if he had been there the entire time, his hand leaving the grip of the massive half teardrop-shaped sword on his back. "And that, was far too close for comfort. You're normally more careful with these things, Scabbard."

"I'm normally not recovering from being wrecked by Ghost too." A familiar voice echoed faintly from somewhere nearby. "I'll have the filter up on all nodes in a few moments."

"Why did that happen just now though?" Hana probed. "Other than a few flashes of Presence, we never felt something like that through the screen before."

"Certain powers and abilities work in certain esoteric ways. They need triggers or conditions to be fulfilled in order to activate." Waltz elaborated. "Sort of like how a jutsu can't be used unless it's the summer solstice, or how some twisted mind-altering techniques activate when the victim has an orgasm."

Watching the Gobi get planted into the ground headfirst at light speed caused the audience to feel the ghost pains of its wounds, which was likely the trigger in this case.

If they hadn't stepped in when they did… things would have gotten very bad.

"Some?" Ghost snorted, completely disregarding the severity of the situation they had just avoided. "Try nearly a third of them in existence. And people call me a depraved and desperate pervert."

"You are a depraved and desperate pervert." Dima, Sylvia, Shadow, Scab, Anko, Hana, and Waltz stated at the exact same time.

"I'm not that desperate." The immortal pouted, puffing out his cheeks childishly. "… Just, just shut up and fix the damn tv Scab."

o. o. o.

The shadow clone in Hinata's arms frowned as the sensation plaguing his back vanished suddenly. Turning slightly, he noticed that Waltz had suddenly decided to show up to meet the rest of the Oogakari.

"Naruto? Is something wrong?" Hinata shifted slightly, having been also plagued by an uncomfortable feeling in her spine at the same time, but thinking nothing of it.

The fox let out a sigh that made it absolutely adorable from an outside perspective. "Oi. Shikamaru. Wake up."

Flinching for a moment and blinking himself awake for a few more, the addressed groaned as he realized just how stiff he was from maintaining his thinking position. "What is it Naruto? You find something?"

"Just now. Did you have a weird pain in your back?"

"Weird pain?" Now more awake, Shikamaru frowned in thought, trying to make sense of the question. "What kind?"

"A stress down your entire spine. Painful and paralyzing."

"The entire spine?" The Nara glanced at the television and noticed the message on the screen. He was getting a bad feeling, but of another kind. "No. But I'm starting to think I know what you're getting at."

The small fox growled faintly, his fur sticking up. "I was afraid that was the case."

o. o. o.

Minato breathed out slowly, assessing the situation as the dust and rubble from his latest maneuver was blown away by the still raging winds.

The first thing to notice was that the crimson aura around him was barely visible now. Falling Thunder God didn't take up that much chakra normally, but using it on a Biju required an extra push that he wouldn't normally be able to pull off on his own.

However the results were undeniable.

Lying motionless at the bottom of a titanic crater was the Gobi. Next to it was an imprint on the stone that remarkably resembled its head.

"A bit crude and violent for my tastes. But, beggars can't be choosers." The former Kage sighed as he warily made his way closer.

It would have been nice if that was all it took to take the beast down. Hope for the best and all that, however, this was a Biju. A fragment of the planet's spirit given physical form.

And he knew for a fact that what he did would not have been enough to put the Kyubi down for good.

Plus, knowing his son's luck…

As if just bringing up the topic in his mind was the trigger, Minato's hopes for the end of the fight were dashed. The countless patches of white on the monster's body that indicated Zetsu's presence began to writhe and mold on itself as if the flesh underneath was having massive spasms.

"Of course, it's like that." By the time he was done lamenting his situation, Minato had already distanced himself again with two kunai in hand.

"GAAAauuaaAAAh!"

A roar of pain and fury that should not have been able to be feasible escaped the beast's maw as its entire body began to writhe and contort. A cloak of fungus spread rapidly over its titanic frame, its muscles mutating to shapes that clearly did not belong to it, and…

"Shit." The Kage frowned as he realized what was going to happen just before it did. "I screwed up."

He had been focusing on the wrong opponent. Instead of fighting the Biju, he should have prioritized the parasite that was infecting its body.

Trees. Vines. Plants. Fungus. Whatever twisted life form that made up Zetsu, spawned from the biju like an erupting geyser. Limbs made of corrupted bark. Flesh replaced with roots. A weave of contorted plants wrapping around and masking the head, neck, and spine of its host.

Extra limbs. Extra horns. Extra eyes. Extra teeth. Excessive body parts were spawning in irregular shapes all over its body, as if the thing possessing it had trouble determining what when where and the quantities involved.

If the Biju looked like a monster before, it was progressing into the origin of nightmares now.

He really did screw up. The worst thing one could possibly do when dealing with a parasitic entity was give it time to fully take over a monstrously powerful host.

He should have killed Han when he had the chance.

"Whoo! That was scary!" One of the Zetsu chuckled from inside the chaos. "I almost thought that he'd be able to kill the Gobi for a moment there!"

"Good thing there's a ton of chakra here to work with!" Another one grinned, half its head sticking out from the creature's underside. "He might have pulled it off if we didn't do anything."

"It sucks that we have to use so much chakra to keep going. Our ride isn't going to last long at this rate." A third sighed from above the right eyebrow. "But judging from how small your chakra cloak is, you don't look like you're going to last long either, Hokage-san."

As much as Minato didn't want to admit it, they were right. He still had plenty of power if he was fighting normally, but this wasn't an opponent that he was well suited against. Without his seals and the power boost from Kurama, he wasn't much of an opponent against the possessed Gobi.

At best, all he could do is run interference or teleport the enemy somewhere far away so they wouldn't interfere for the rest of the fight… actually that didn't sound like a bad idea…

Wooooooooooooooo-

Minato's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a unique wail like horn echoing in the distance that somehow managed to be heard over the chaos of the storm raging about them. It wasn't one known in this world, but one fairly common in others where humanity had developed its technology enough. It primarily used for a common purpose.

Air raid siren.

The man's head snapped away from his opponent, face pale and body tense. There was only one reason why his son would use that particular signal. "Naruto? What are- I need help but not this-!?"

Before he could finish his sentence, four twisters surrounded the confused Gobi, hindering its movements and sight, all travelling at far faster speeds that they had been before.

"Wah?!"

"The heck?!"

"When could they move this fast?!" The countless Zetsu on the Biju shouted in alarm by the new development.

It was almost enough to distract Minato from the faint flickers of white that were scattering around the beast.

For the briefest of moments, flashes of white spawned all over the Gobi, like glittering fireflies that reflected the pristine ivory white fur of the creature…

"Shit!"

o. o. o.

Kushina had been genocidal when dealing with Tobi. Murderous. Apocalyptic. Vicious. Horrifying. The living embodiment of vengeance.

Now though? Now she was simply flat out pissed and annoyed.

From her perspective, it was a step in the wrong direction.

"GUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"For a shriveled-up husk, it's unbearably loud." Skidding back from the absurd shockwave the monster made from its roar, Kushina couldn't help but give the thing a dirty glare. This was the sort of monster that destroyed everything around it on principle. The earth around it for hundreds of meters in every direction had been shattered by its war call, and she would have been blown away with the dregs if she didn't anchor herself with her chains. "Then again, this thing is the closest thing we have to being your mother, Kurama. I can see the resemblance."

She had only seen the thing in her son's memories, but even those did little to show just how disgustingly massive it was.

Standing on its hind legs, with a body that resembled a petrified mix of stone and wood, the Gedo Statue resembled a cross between a titan and a zombie, towering over most if not all summons and Biju in terms of raw height. Its movements were erratic and sloppy, however she had already found out the hard way that it could be pretty damn fast if it wanted to, and the blindfold it wore did absolutely nothing to hinder its ability to navigate and locate its enemies.

Her normal methods weren't working on the damn thing either. Her barriers were a stopgap measure at best, and her chains were useless as she found out quickly that the statue had taken to literally sucking them up like ramen noodles whenever feasibly possible.

Case and point, her Crimson Playground had been shattered the moment the statue had been summoned. She had not seen, sensed, or heard from the Uchiha bastard since.

Raw power and massive techniques worked better, but so far, at best she could only manage to knock it down.

"I'd appreciate it if you never made that analogy ever again." Kurama grunted, just as annoyed as she was about their current situation. "We're going nowhere like this."

"And fast." With a brief pulse of chakra, she blew away all the residual dust that was in her way. "Think we can use your full form for a bit?"

"No. I have more chakra, but it's too unbalanced. Unlike Naruto, the thief stayed content with controlling my Yin half and never balanced it out." It was frustrating. All this power, and they couldn't use it properly. "I can't even use my Presence the way I am now. We'd have to get me to Naruto first to realign my strength if we wanted to go through with it."

"Is that so? Pity." Kushina looked at her glowing hands, no, she assessed her current physical state. She was positively radiating with power to the point that she almost looked like a crimson deity herself.

A faint smirk etched itself on her lips. Come to think of it, it wasn't often that Naruto let her or Minato out with this much power at their disposal. The few times he did was more to get them acclimated to the absurd reserves Kurama had more than anything.

Minato rarely wanted needed access to such wells of power due to his style of fighting, but Kushina on the other hand…

"Oi. What's with that smirk? Stop it. I'm starting to get more scared of you than the damn statue."

"What the hell am I hesitating for? I'm Naruto's mother! When things go to hell, I should act like it the most! Improvising overkill plan B should have been my plan A from the start!" She slammed her hands on the ground. "Enkidu!"

"No. No. Acting like you are genetically related to that guy is the exact opposite of what you should be doing, regardless if it's true or not. Please stop. For everyone's sake."

Once more, golden chains erupted from the earth by the droves, winding and entangling around the Gedo Statue's legs like vicious vipers and hindering its movement mid step. Watching the titan collapse forward was almost as if someone had made time move in slow motion before causing the world the explode in chaos, albeit significantly less so compared to its roar from earlier.

It wouldn't stay down for long. It rarely did, but it would buy them time for their next move.

"Kurama! Ignore the small stuff! Let's hit this thing with a big one!" Kushina didn't bother to recognize the shadow clone she had just made slam its hands onto the ground. Instead, she focused completely on her chakra, slamming her hands together as if she was praying, yet never taking her eyes off of her target.

"… So we're going with that. Mmm. That should work. Even that abomination shouldn't be able to shrug off a hit that intense." Inside of her, Kurama's grin widened into something malicious as he too began to channel his chakra in earnest.

"HAAA!" Thrumming with power, the demonic aura around her deepened in color, masking more of her human features and replacing them with a deep crimson and gold pelt that was just a shade different than the Biju itself.

Complete with nine tail-like appendages trailing behind her, each with one of her adamantine chains acting as the vertebrae bones.

The whirlpool widened, its pit delving into a deep abyss that was an ebony reflection of the sky. Every ripple echoing in tandem. A chorus of small voices would eventually equate to the mightiest of roars.

Splaying her new tails around her like lotus petals, Kushina began to manifest her power in earnest. Each of the nine points circled back to the point in front of her face where she amassed her chakra, funneling energy from the nine rivers equally around a focus, spiraling and condensing more, and more…

o. o. o.

"Hoh snap. Will you look at that? They actually did it." Bee muttered, adjusting his sunglasses to look at the screen.

"Did what?" A looked at his brother skeptically. "It looks like a Bijudama to me."

Bee shook his head. "Ya idiot. Ya fool. Look with your eyes and you'll see twist. Since when did a Bijudama look like that when the chakra's mixed?"

"He's right." Yugito frowned. "The streams of chakra she's feeding it aren't clumping together and mixing unanimously, it's more like they're… spiraling."

The Raikage's eyes dilated as he quickly came to the right conclusion. "Impossible. You mean she's making, some sort of Ransengan Bijudama? With chakra that dense? How is it possible to condense that much power more than it already has without killing yourself?"

"Didn't you know bro? The Yondaime Hokage modeled the Rasengan after the Bijudama. In theory, those two moves should get along like jelly and peanut butter."

"… In theory." Darui pointed out, not turning away as the ground beneath Kunshina buckled from the titanic weight of the power she was manifesting.

"In theory." Bee reluctantly agreed.

o. o. o.

A factor of ten.

That was increase in power that Minato estimated after they had successfully applied the steps to Rasengan to the forming of a Bijudama.

Bare minimum.

Coincidentally, the factor of difficulty increase that Naruto had estimated when he finally managed to get it down was less than half that due to the shared steps.

The technique was still incredibly hard to pull off, but…

CRUNCH!

The world around Kushina buckled under the weight of the power she was accumulating, appearing less like a black orb or a Rasengan, and more like a contained black hole the width of a human being.

The payoff was so, so worth it.

"Hey. Kurama. I think you owe mommy a few centuries worth of missed birthday presents. Plus interest." Kushina's voice, along with her image, was completely demonic now. Her eyes glowing white and her mouth nothing more than a gleeful jagged line of violence.

As if on cue, the raw power emanating from Kushina solidified, manifesting as a perfect disembodied copy of the Kyubi's head, its jaw snapping shut around the modified Bijudama with a sickening crunch, but not closing entirely.

"Pucker up."

"█████████!"

With a cataclysmic roar, the fox head shot forward like a missile, straight at the statue's head.

"Haa… Tha… er…"

It spoke.

Incomplete words, as if the beast was muttering in a language it had forgotten, bit for the first time, it showed genuine sentience, tilting its blindfolded gaze to the oncoming attack as if recognizing Kushina's existence for the first time.

"Rasenkaku."

With a heavy lurch that no one had expected, the monster dislocated one of its arms in a titanic effort to break the bonds that Kushina had manifested, succeeded, and proceeded to swipe it heavily in the way of the oncoming attack.

The vision of all that were watching the immediate confrontation turned bleach white.

The only sound that registered to anyone came much later, akin to the aftershock to the original earthquake.

The world turned on itself. Shapes rolled and broke apart against a backdrop of white. The lack of static figures to focus on made it impossible to tell if those watching were observing something in motion, or if their view was also on the move.

It felt like an eternity before anything comprehensible was seen or heard again, but in less than a minute, that eternity had passed.

It was easier to list the things that hadn't been obliterated beyond recognition than the ones that did.

A titanic rift slash trough had been carved into the mountain range that traveled far into the distance, much like the results of Roshi's unique display earlier. Only instead of a trail of magma, the very earth was carved and plowed beyond the eye's range, even through the mountains in the distance.

That wasn't to say that the attack was a clean one. The earth for hundreds of meters to either side of the trench was scorched and scarred. What little remained intact was blighted from the mere exposure to the Kyubi's power.

The statue was in a grey zone. It was still intact for the most part, however it did not come out of the blast unscathed. Evident by the fact that the arm it used to defend itself was gone from the elbow up. Complete with opposite half of its body scarred and sheered like it ran sideways into a giant sandpaper belt.

Hauntingly enough, the attack had blown away its blindfold as well, revealing nine bloodshot and clearly blind eyes, save one.

And all of them were focused on Kushina.

"Well that's not creepy."

The woman was back to her more human state, covered by her crimson and gold aura. However it was blatantly clear to everyone that she was running on less power than she had been moments earlier. Judging from the look on her face, she had clearly expected her attack to take out the monster.

Still ensnared by her chains for the moment, the Gedo Statue was giving her its entire attention, trying to crawl towards her and reaching out with its recently maimed limb.

"Ho-w? Po-er."

Its voice was akin to crossing a tainted whisper with the intensity of an avalanche. A secret that was impossible to ignore. Covering one's ears would do nothing, and those unprepared or unsuited for it would be driven insane from its contents.

"Kurama? Question. Did that thing ever talk, you know, before? Or ever?"

"No."

"Shit." A seemingly mindless potentially world ending monster developing sentience was never a good sign.

As if to confirm her suspicions, the statue began to writhe violently, breaking the shackles that she had placed on it earlier.

"Power? How? Power? HOW?!"

Its cavernous mouth widened with each bellow, a blue glow emanating from the gap, and within moments spewed out a torrent of blue chains that eerily resembled Kushina's.

"The hell?!" Caught flat footed by being attacked by what was essentially her own technique, she didn't move until the oncoming deluge of twisted chakra was already halfway to her. It was still more than enough time though to come up with her own counter in the form of her own tsunami of chains.

Link for link. Stream for stream. Both forces matched one another perfectly, hammering into the ends of the other so hard that one could see them shatter upon themselves…

… and then reform.

"Hrk?" Kushina anchored herself to the ground as she was tugged forward, dragged by her own links by the statue's.

"It's trying to drag us in!" Kurama yelled. "Don't let those chains hit you!"

"I figured!" With a brief mental command, the links that were pulling her were abandoned, separated from her body and dragged into the beast's maw at a frantic pace, only to be replaced by more moments later.

She was in a bad spot. Just like how her abilities were the perfect counter to Tobi's, the Statue's newly revealed power was countering hers. While she would never admit to being a one trick pony, she would relent, with some prodding, that a good number of her moves were heavily dependent on her chakra chains. She did have an advantage with Kurama's chakra, but she needed time to fully use all that power properly. Time she didn't have.

A frantic eternity later, which lasted no less than ten seconds, saw the woman staring down a deluge of seemingly unstoppable chains heading straight towards her.

"Tch." She held up two fingers, her face twisted into an annoyed grimace just before she was crushed by the onslaught with no hope of escape.

Half a kilometer away, the redhead reappeared by a single length of chain she had set up earlier, the sealwork for Hiraishin etched onto its plated side. It was a precaution she always established before any of her major fights. Better to run and live like a coward than die and stay to fight a losing battle like a mindless hero.

"Cutting it close, aren't we?"

"Shut up. I didn't see you helping out with that."

"I must have forgotten the part where it was my power and control that blasted that thing's arm off."

"And look at the progress it's made." The Kunoichi didn't so much as flinch as the statue almost immediately turned to her direction. "It can sense us."

"It can sense me." Kurama corrected. "Though, that begs the question why it doesn't go after the Uchiha with my other half."

"I thought you'd learn a few things when you got all that power back."

"Bits and pieces of useless information. The Uchiha keeps my other under extreme conditions. Even if it did learn of the answer, that doesn't mean it would know that it knows of it." The beast replied grimly.

"Figures." She held up two fingers, teleporting herself to a new location just before she was buried under another tsunami of chains. She couldn't use Hiraishin rapid fire like Minato could, however doing it once every half a minute or so was well within her power. "This isn't looking good. At best, the most we can do right now is stall the thing. One lucky shot from it would drag us into that thing's mouth for certain."

"Hmm… but, have you noticed yet? Look up."

"Hooh?" The redhead glanced at the dark and chaotic sky, and immediately recognized what was going on. In fact, she felt embarrassed that she didn't pick up on it earlier. "Heaven's Fall already? Something must have gotten under his skin. This will definitely help out, but I don't think it'll be enough."

She didn't seem to notice the next deluge of chains heading towards her.

"At the very least…"

Nor did she seem to care that a titanic twister seemed to manifest right in front of the oncoming attack, tanking it easily, dragging the long strands up its seemingly endless funnel up into the sky.

"… It'll take some of the heat off of us for a bit. That boy of mine can never stop worrying about his mother. He's such a sweetheart."

"Worrying that the spirit of his hormonal mother in his head will drive him mad or beat him senseless for some pointless reason more like it." Kurama muttered under his breath.

"Do you want me to take you to your mother?"

"Will you stop it with that tasteless joke already!?"

"Fine. Fine." Kushina sighed, looking up at the clouds, trying to count just how many twisters were touching down to tear up the land below in the distance. No matter how many times she saw it, seeing Heaven's Fall in action caused a chill to go down her spine. Judging from how many there were, the technique had been active for at least a couple of minutes. She must have been too distracted with her fighting and the Statue to notice. How sloppy of her. Kurama's influx of power must have muted her senses a bit.

More importantly, now that she had time to think, how on earth was she going to take on that damn statue?

"… Uh. Kushina?"

She couldn't spam Rasenkaku. She was working on limited reserves, what with being an animated pupeet and all. The power boost from Kurama and what she took back from Tobi was convenient, but worthless if she used it all without getting it back to Naruto.

"Kushina. Now's not a good time to zone out."

As for sealing, it was technically possible to lock away this thing, but there were so many restrictions to take into account. Power wasn't a factor right now but there were other issues. First of all, for something this big, the array she'd have to make would need to make a massive array that was also inscribed on the target itself. She had enough trouble getting close to the thing without getting killed, let alone touching it.

Then there was the issue of where to seal the thing. She wasn't going to make some vault in the ground and lock it there. Even as a temporary solution. Burying the dried up body of a World Tree, a world ending plant into the earth itself. Yeah. Sure. What could possibly go wrong with that idea?

Thinking back on it, maybe the Sage of Six Paths was onto something when he had sealed the Gedo Statue into the moon. Hell, for all anyone knew, the guy had originally intended on sending the thing into the su-

"KUSHINA!"

"WHAT?!"

"Listen you idiot!"

"Listen for wha-?" The woman's snapping was interrupted by a loud wail in the background. One that she had grown intimately familiar with over the past few years. One that she was not prepared for, and thus turned ash white upon realizing that it was there in the first place.

Wooooooooooooo!

The air raid siren.

No one missed the fact that despite radiating with power, Kushina was now trembling like a terrified child.

"Naruto! You're a terrible son! I thought you loved me!"

Everything went white.

o. o. o.

"How long do you think it'll hold him?"

Naruto glanced to the clone to his side, already losing interest in the monstrosity of his own creation talking up most of the horizon in front of him that was keeping Pain in place. All the clones were half occupied with manipulating Heaven's Fall in some way, be it adjusting air pressure, moving the twisters, kicking up dust, or any other number of smaller and more subtle effects to screw with their enemies. "Depends how quickly he realizes that holding back against me won't do any favors. A minute or two tops."

"Sounds about right." A second nodded, looking at the fighting to his side while making seals alongside its kin. Ruptures and cracks had spawned in the ground that did not originate from his techniques. "Dad looks like he might need help."

"Mom too." A third mused, facing the opposite direction, noting the fact that a good portion of the mountainside there was now gone. "The asshole got away from her, somehow, but she's gotten a good portion of Kurama's other half back. He must have pulled some trick we don't know about."

"I'm surprised she's having trouble if that's true." A fourth frowned. "She's not easy to fight against. More so when she has Kurama's power backing her in earnest."

"The Biju were part of the World Tree." A fifth reasoned. "It might have a natural advantage over users of their power. Absorption types and all that."

"Yeah." "Shit." "You're right." The murmurs of agreement got them all on the same page, before pausing to look at something beyond the massive twister that the majority of Akatsuki was stuck inside.

"We have to clean shop fast. That guy's coming, and we can't afford to get distracted when he arrives." One muttered.

"Looks like we're going to have to go the messy route after all." The original sighed, shifting a bit so he could reach for something hooked to his waist. Already the hard features that he had donned earlier were ebbing away to the image of a tired and annoyed teen. "Honestly. I just can't catch a break, can I? And after all that effort to look intimidating and imposing to control the flow of things, I gotta fall back to being the chaotic bastard again. Do they know how hard it is on the psyche to swap between personas that frequently? It's just not healthy."

"Messy route?" Ma blinked in confusion. She was just about done with healing him to the bare minimum, but so long as she was around she would do her best to bring him to peak performance.

"Yep." Her ride popped his mouth as he pulled out a black scroll. "Real messy."

o. o. o.

Kakashi's, Tenten's, Sakura's, Sasuke's, and Hinata's eyes all dilated to pinpricks at the sight of the scroll.

"Oh no." Sakura whimpered. "It got worse."

"I forgot he had that." Sasuke whispered in terror. "Why did I forget that he had that?"

"Because your brain cares about you and tried to protect you." Kakashi shivered uncontrollably. "In futility."

"The last time any of us saw it was three years ago." Tenten stated ominously. "What horrors has he accumulated since then?"

"Naruto? I'm scared." Hinata hugged the fox in her arms, genuinely afraid. "What are you going to do with your black scroll?"

o. o. o.

With a casual flick of his fingers, Naruto held onto the outer fold of the coiled paper… and allowed the rest of it to be carried off by the violent wind, unraveling it rapidly in its entirety into the sky like an advertisement banner, revealing countless sealing arrays inscribed on its face.

o. o. o.

Sakura screamed in terror.

Kakashi was mute. His eyes wide in disbelief.

Sasuke genuinely fainted, his Sharingan eyes rolling up into his skull, unable to handle the sight that had been burned into his brain.

Tenten was frozen, mouth wide open and pointing at the screen, unsure just how to react from there.

Hinata was trembling violently, her normally pale complexion jumping to a near translucent white. "Why? Naruto. Why would you do such a thing?"

All of their friends looked at them in worry and fear.

Their reactions were understandable in hindsight. After all…

o. o. o.

At once, the entire contents of the scroll was expelled into the air, unleashing and scattering countless pieces of paper into the wind in all directions.

o. o. o.

Naruto's black scroll was where he kept all his exploding tags. Experimental and normal.

Moments later, all of the people that were close to him, and reasonably sane, screamed and held one another in absolute horror, certain that the end of days had finally come for them.

o. o. o.

Dima looked at Ghost with a raised eyebrow, completely ignoring the two women that were screaming their lungs out and holding onto the blind immortal as if their lives depended on it.

"Homemade seal bombs. Of extremely varying potency." Ghost shrugged as much as he could, as if the subject didn't matter much. He was more interested in copping a feel on the women holding onto him for as long as possible before they realized what he was doing.

"Ah." The old man turned back to the show, not at all bothered by Ghost's blatant display of sexual harassment. He was likely to get pummeled into oblivion sooner or later for his actions, regardless of what happened next. No need to add fuel to that fire.

No further questions were needed.

o. o. o.

The ANBU that were with Tsunade and Shizune were unsure what to do. On the one hand, the two women were screaming like small children watching a horror movie, holding onto one another to find what little solace they could, unable to turn away from the screen in front of them.

On the other, Naruto Uzumaki had apparently just unleashed every single exploding tag from his legendary payload in a single go.

They settled for completely ignoring their leader's reaction and taking notes on the apocalypse that was to come, and which tags they would likely want to purchase copies of in the future.

o. o. o.

"Zabuza?"

"Mmmmgh."

"Haku?"

"Ah. Aaaah."

Mei and Ao didn't know what to make of the pair's reactions to what Uzumaki had just done with the exploding tags, but judging from the horrified expressions on their faces and their inability to register the outside world, it wasn't going to be pleasant to watch.

o. o. o.

"Bro?"

"What is it Bee?"

"Hold me."

"… Don't make me hit you Bee."

"Will you hold me if I let you hit me?"

"Sit your ass dow- NOT IN MY LAP YOU IDIOT!"

o. o. o.

Hiruzen was stone faced as he watched the fight unfold in front of him. Ignoring the screams of the children that were in the room with him.

He had witnessed horrible atrocities in his lifetime. Deaths of friends and family. The slaughtering of civilians and shinobi as if they were little more than cattle. Videos of Orochimaru's experiments, insults that his mad student had left behind to mock him after his escape from Konoha.

If he was not a veteran of the atrocities of mankind, accustomed to how terrible the world could be… he'd probably be experiencing a heart attack right now.

o. o. o.

"Oh grow a pair you pussies! Calm down! You aren't even here!" Naruto's face took up the entire screen, his teeth and tongue comically elongated and jagged.

"We're all going to die!" Someone in the distant background shouted.

"I heard that Kiba!"

"I'm apparently going to die first!"

The blonde deadpanned at the screen. "Ok. You know what? Fuck it."

And with that he snapped his fingers.

The screen zoomed out rapidly, showing the entirety of the battlegrounds, the surrounding landscape, and even some of Iwagakure. Even from that distance, one could see where most of the fighting was taking place.

With regards to the possessed Gobi and the Gedo Statue though, the spectators noticed for a few scant moments a flurry of brief flashes blinking around the two monsters that were occupied by twisters…

… Right before they were both replaced by titanic explosions that did not look unlike the aftereffects of a pair of thermonuclear detonations.

o. o. o.

It doesn't matter if they think you're showing off. Or being lazy. Or being cheap.

It doesn't matter if people think you're a glowing knight, a wise sage, or a cruel backstabbing traitor.

It doesn't matter if your enemy lives or dies.

What matters is being smart. Conserving power. Having options available. The more, the better. The stronger, the better. The cheaper, the better.

If you can plan ahead, do it. If you can make something that will make your time easier, do it. If repeating a cheap annoying trick over and over and over and over and over will keep things efficient and save you resources, do it.

What matters in the end, is ensuring that you stay alive at all costs. Against all factors.

Naruto didn't say a word as the two explosions went off, nor did he so much as twitch as his parents literally blinked into existence just a short distance away.

He ignored the large waves of dust and stone that rolled over the land and air, riding the shockwaves of his bombs, passing him by harmlessly and flooding into the nearby village, causing a few buildings to collapse in the process.

The fact that he noticed Deidara, Kakuzu, and Sasori pop out of the ground outside of where Pain was being held, just moments before to avoid getting crushed by the rippling waves underground didn't bother him at all.

Nor did he cheer with joy when Deidara, already in a terribly weakened state, was overwhelmed by the slower airborn shockwave carrying tons of dirt and stone. Sasori and Kakzu managed to save themselves by using their chakra strings and jutsu to latch themselves to the ground.

They tried to save Deidara, but the winds around them were too violent and littered with heavy debris to get to him in time. Sasori had managed to latch his strings onto the bomber's remaining arm…

… But the strain was too much for the wounded man's recent sutures that had only recently reattached the limb back to his body. With a single lurch, Deidara's arm was ripped free from him once more, sending the stunned teen flying back into the twister he had just escaped, tearing him apart before he could process what had happened. He wasn't even screaming in his last few moments.

It was a violent and messy death, yet at the same time, almost uncharacteristically underwhelming. As if there should have been something more to it.

"Naruto-chan." Ma whispered in astonishment. "How many paper bombs did you just use? What kind of bombs were those?"

"All of them. Ones that I made in my spare time for an ugly day." The teen breathed out slowly, looking blankly at his empty scroll.

On the one hand, he could be seen as a terrorist greater than Deidara right now because of his current payload. A little over half of what he had just unleashed had just been used in a single instant. The rest were flying aimlessly in the air, hidden by the irregular heights and speeds that they were perpetually flying at, just waiting to be used at a moment's notice.

On the other… he had just unleashed all his bombs.

Meaning, he didn't have any left to rely on in the future if he needed them.

He hated it when he had to cut himself off from one of his more potent resources.

He looked at his right hand, flexing it and the attached arm with some curiosity. It wasn't fully healed, but it was as good as it was going to get for the moment.

"Naruto! What the heck were you thinking!?" Kushina stomped over to her son enraged. "You almost took me out with that blast! I thought that we agreed that you weren't going to use your bombs like that unless we needed to!"

"Calm down Kushina." Minato placated his wife. "It was a bit rushed, but I personally needed the extra help. I let my guard down and a bunch of Zetsu took over the Gobi like a parasite. It turned into a Resident Evil scenario and my seals weren't getting me anywhere."

The Kage's words seemed to catch her off guard, forcing her to calm down slightly. "Tch. Yeah well. I didn't do much better. That asshole got away and summoned the Statue. I managed to get most of the other half's power back and did some damage to the Statue with a Rasenkaku, but it wasn't doing me much good once the damn monster started to talk. The thing can make chakra chains like mine and was constantly trying to pull me in. It's a bad matchup for me."

"Could you set anything up at least?" Naruto asked.

"Of course." She brushed away her hair confidently.

Lying in a crater a good distance away from them, the Gedo Statue was more occupied with trying to get up than noticing that there was a link of chains around the calf of its right leg.

"Managed to tag it with a pretty ankle bracelet. No one is going to be able to summon that monster to or from here anytime soon."

"In the grand scheme of things, destroying the Statue takes priority over everything else. Even above Tobi and the rest of Akatsuki. The fact that it's actually here out in the open is an opportunity we can't pass up." Minato crossed his arms in thought. "It's the body of the World Tree. Without it, it can't be revived at all. If we can get rid of it now…"

As if the world itself had shuddered, the titanic amalgamation of twisters that had entrapped Pain had seemingly exploded in a massive wave of force. The coiled monstrosity was torn apart from the inside via a single point, albeit with a great deal of effort. The after effects not so different than a massive balloon popping in all directions, unleashing the pent-up energy in a single loud boom that seemed to match if not eclipse what Naruto's bombs had accomplished just moments before.

Naruto did not so much as flinch as the aftershock and wave of air pressure passed by his group harmlessly, its power diverted and redirected by his own effortlessly. It was not the largest of its kind he had dealt with, nor strongest.

As a side thought, far in the distance, he did the same with the shockwave that was heading towards Iwa. They would still have to deal with the land bound tremors, which were far more damaging to the place, but it was better than nothing.

"Ahh. Looks like we're out of time." Naruto leisurely uncrossed his legs and arms, slowly lowering himself down.

His feet touched the ground for the first time that day.

"Naruto." Minato turned back to his son, the concern clearly visible on his face.

"You guys have done enough for now. It'll be a waste of chakra if I have to worry about keeping you around anymore than you have." His son ignored his father's worries, more interested in doing some basic stretches. "The Statue and the Gobi don't look like they're going to move anytime soon. Not dead, but not an immediate problem either."

He estimated that the explosions he set off were each the equivalent to one of Kurama's stronger Bijudamas. There was not a thing native to this planet that could handle being hit by something of that magnitude without repercussions. In the Gobi's case, said repercussions must have included obliterating most if not all of the Zetsu that had been hijacking its body.

"But…" Kushina started, only to be interrupted by Minato's hand on her shoulder.

"I know this is your fight, but don't be afraid to ask for help."

Naruto gave his father a wry smirk. "Yeah. Yeah. I know. You don't have to remind me."

Kushina clearly looked like she wanted to argue more, but a single look from her husband killed whatever drive she had. With a haughty huff, she puffed out her cheeks childishly and struck a stubborn pose. "Fine. Go be an idiot. What do I know? I'm just a worried badass mom that spends most of her time stuck in her son's head."

"She's going to be like this until I apologize." Naruto groaned, reaching to either of them. "Thanks for your help guys."

"Be careful."

With that final warning, Minato and Kushina's images seemed to warp and get dragged into their son's body, leaving only a couple of lifeless and featureless puppets sagging on the ground.

"Urp." Naruto's face contorted as if he had just eaten something unexpected, stumbling to the side momentarily. "Wow. That's, a lot of Yin chakra. Oi Kurama. Can you balance all this out? It's your power."

"I'm working on it. It's just as uncomfortable for me as it is for you. Just bear with it for a minute."

"Uzumaki!" A new voice shouted from above. Judging from the lack of murderous intent and declarations of violence, it was probably someone on his side.

Moments later, Onoki, Jiraiya, Pa, and Roshi dropped from the sky and landed roughly nearby.

Naruto blinked in genuine curiosity. He had been so focused on Akatsuki that he didn't even notice them coming. And considering how strong these guys… were…

… Naruto then noticed their wounds.

Jiraiya was having trouble breathing and one of his arms was limp at his side. Onoki was littered with cuts and scrapes. Roshi didn't seem to have any external injuries, but he was clearly afflicted by something. Pa, just looked exhausted.

A pit started to form in Naruto's stomach. The geezers were strong as sin compared to the standard in this world, but were still hurt badly.

More than that though. They were hurt badly, but still made the effort to come straight to him without getting their injuries tended to.

Something was wrong.

"Pa!? You look terrible!" Ma gasped in horror.

"What happened?" Naruto didn't beat around the bush.

"That freak, Hidan. He's insane." Onoki hissed as he allowed himself to collapse on the ground. "You understated just how dangerous he was boy."

"Any move landed on him was mirrored on the attacker. And then he just heals up what he got almost instantly." Roshi grimaced. "Worse is that sometimes he can make it so that we feel what other people are feeling. Especially if they're dying. The more people near him, the worse it gets. He literally killed three platoons of ANBU just by standing in place and letting them ambush him before we could warn them otherwise. If Jiriaya didn't feel that something was off and figure we could use Presence to mitigate the effects, we would have been killed off. Even then we didn't come out of that shitstorm unharmed."

"We thought we could stall him. Keep him at bay from a distance. He's too fast and strong for normal capture methods, and genjutsu seems to barely affect him, but stalling with stronger techniques worked for a time." Pa was rubbing his chest, where his normally fleshy white skin was red and black, as if sorely bruised. "But then he cut himself and started throwing his blood around wildly. Jiraiya-chan got only a drop on him and…"

The Toad Sage made several sloppy hand gestures with his remaining functioning arm, clearly no longer able to speak. It took a few repeats before Naruto realized that he was using ANBU sign language.

Wound. Rain. Death. Remember.

Naruto's eyes dilated as he understood exactly what the man was saying.

"Shit."

As an Acolyte, Hidan was already guaranteed to be dangerous and difficult to deal with. He was an extension of a God, a facet of reality personified. The world's rules naturally bent around him and his will because of it.

However, they had never bothered to determine which facet, which rule, had claimed the man.

Naruto had unfortunately underestimated the situation. Hidan wasn't just dangerous, he was possibly his worst potential enemy.

His, and anyone else that had been killed in the previous timeline that had their memories back.

o. o. o.

Naruto turned to the screen with a look that sent chills down the viewer's spines. "Give me everything. Now."

The clone in Hinata's arms nodded. Focusing only on its most recent memories, it produced a shadow clone of itself, which dispersed an instant later.

"Naruto." Hinata blinked in surprise, looking down at the animal in her arms. Their friends to either side of them had also taken notice of the fox's actions with some trepidation.

"It's the most I can do. Unfortunately." It stated ominously.

o. o. o.

Naruto's eye twitched only once as he received the memories he demanded and filtered through them as quickly as possible.

He didn't like the conclusion he came to.

"… So that's how it is. His name is…"

"He was headed this way last we saw. If it weren't for this freak storm of yours, we wouldn't have beaten him here." Onoki grimaced, ignoring Naruto's earlier actions as he eased the pain in his back as he sat down before giving Naruto a look. "Kid. I have to warn you. That guy-"

"Is here."

Naruto glanced back to see Pain standing alongside Kakuzu, Sasori, and despite not seeing or sensing the man earlier, Hidan.

o. o. o.

A good number of faces in Konoha turned ash white as they saw what was in the man's hands.

"No." Ino gasped, her hands going to her mouth in horror.

o. o. o.

What caught his attention though was the fact that Sai was in Hidan's grasp. Despite being left in the hands of medics earlier, the artist was in far worse shape than before. His body was littered with cuts and burns. One arm was bent in a direction it clearly shouldn't have, and judging from the bleeding, at least one of his eyes was damaged beyond repair.

It was clear from his contorted face and haggard breathing that he was still very much alive, awake, and in absurd amounts of pain.

"I assume, that you geezers were about to tell me about Sai." Despite his friend's horrible appearance, Naruto didn't so much as flinch. Instead, he settled for a cold and slow acting wrath.

"We were getting to that part. In our defense, Hidan's pretty important." Roshi grimaced, the pain that Sai was experiencing was already starting to echo through his tired body, along with everyone else's.

"Where the hell have you been?" Kakuzu glared at his partner.

"Having fun and making friends." Hidan smiled cheerfully, as if he was a boy enjoying a day at the park. "You, on the other hand, look like you've been spending quite a bit of time playing in the dirt."

"You…"

"Hss!" A small application of pressure on Sai's arm caused him to twitch in pain… which in turn made everyone else there flinch as they experienced his agony.

"What was that?" Sasori did not like surprises. Especially ones that worked against him. He shouldn't be able to feel pain anymore. Not when his entire body was nothing more than chakra and puppet material.

Before Hidan could say anything, Naruto took a single step forward.

"Oi. You have something that belongs to me. Empathy."

He didn't seem to notice Pain. Or the rest of Akatsuki. Only Hidan, and the friend in the monster's grasp.

Pain frowned. The way Naruto had said Hidan's name held weight in it. As if he was using Presence just to speak it in a dialect that could convey it that way. "Empathy?"

"Naru-to." Sai gasped out, only to shout in pain as Hidan jolted him as he too moved forward.

"Oh?" Despite being accused with a healthy dose of killing intent, the accused seemed to be elated, if the widening and twisted grin was any indication. "Oh oh oh? You know who I am already? Just like that? That's no fun. Where's the thrill? The confusion? The desperation to solve a mystery lest death consumes you? Wait. No. No no no. How silly. How rude of me. I shouldn't be disappointed. Not from you. Holding one of your stature to such low expectations. Not from one who was reared by that monster."

There was a loathing in that final word that sent chills down everyone's spines, as if he had somehow infused curses beyond imagination into the very uttering of the sound that the word was comprised of.

"What on earth are you blathering about now, Hidan?" Kakuzu was clearly losing his temper.

"I don't give a damn about your grudge with that asshole. Deal with it on your own time." Naruto's gaze didn't waver. "You are mishandling My Artist."

There was power in his words. A significance that couldn't be ignored. A weight that barely anyone could begin to comprehend.

"Oh? Oh oh oh? A claim?" Hidan seemed absolutely giddy at the prospect. "The Artist is yours? Ah. Of course. Yes yes. I see now. He must be yours. To be able to make a claim at all, and at such a young age. There can be no other reason for such development. It's not just The Artist that you see as your property, your domain, is it? Lord of the Chaotic Heavens?"

"What I see as mine doesn't matter. It either is, or it isn't. I don't have the time or patience to care about something as meaningless as why." It was a statement that no one would have expected from the normally lackadaisical and childish teen. To address one of his friends as something little more than property was so out of character for Naruto that had anyone not seen this happen in person they would have assumed that they were listening to someone else entirely.

Hidan couldn't look more thrilled.

"Ha? Hahaha! Yes! Yes of course! My apologies! You're right! You're absolutely right! Such a smart boy you are! You can see it. You are able to see the way things truly are! Not like the rest of these blind fools! At best, they have only witnessed a glimpse… no. No, my mistake. The old one that possesses the awakened Core behind you has potential, but it would still take him time to even compare. But even then, you…"

Hidan's smile weakened into something of curiosity, as if noticing something odd He tilted his head to the side in confusion. "You… are different. Very different. Too different. But how?"

"Enough of this nonsense." Apparently, while Pain and Sasori had been interested in how the conversation was going, Kakuzu had long since reached the end of his patience.

The beating of stolen hearts and souls resounded as one. Their screams served as fuel for the wretched ebony stiches that held the greedy corpse aloft.

Dozens of tendrils shot from Kakuzu and dug into Sai's body, making him yell out once more in agony.

"This is embarrassing. Those old geezers are hiding behind an insane brat and his clones." Kakuzu all but growled. "And to think you were once among the most feared shinobi in the elemental nations. Kyubi. Surrender yourself or I'll tear apart your comrade from the inside out."

"Oi. Kakuzu. You're being rude." Hidan looked to his partner with glance that made it clear that he wanted to kill the man more than his hostage. "I'm in the middle of something. Can't this wait?"

"You can talk to him while we are preparing the ritual." Sasori stepped up. "Kakuzu is right. Killing the Tsuchikage and putting down the Kyubi as soon as possible take priority."

"Is that so? And you really think that simply holding The Artist hostage is going to make either one of those things easier?" The tone in the Acolyte's voice was a mixed bag of unsavory things, and yet, none were easily identifiable.

Everyone eyed Hidan. His question sent an ominous chill through the spines of friend and foe alike.

It was an awkward standoff. No one knew who was going to move first, or why. Every passing moment made Hidan feel more like a third party than a part of Akatsuki.

A flick of the wrist. A blur of hand seals. A black pole. A glint in everyone's eyes. A burst of speed.

"That's enough."

And then stillness.

There was no wind. There was no sound. There was no breathing. There was no movement.

All around them, from the static funnels, to the stones, dust, and leaves that had been kicked up by the wind in flight, the world had paused.

It was almost as if time itself had stopped.

Save for Naruto, who was already standing in front of Sai.

"Sky Art." All of Naruto's clones held their fingers up in unison. "Abandonment of Chaos."

What differentiated gas from solids was not how dense their respective molecules were, but in how they moved. Solid molecules were static. Locked in place with respect to one another. In contrast, that which made up gas was ever moving. Ever flowing. Never staying still, even when compressed to unimaginable degrees.

To rob gas of that chaotic freedom was akin to turning it into a solid. The less chaos there was, the less freedom there was, the heavier, harder, and more damning the world became.

That freedom. That chaos. That rule, was Naruto's to do as he saw fit. To enforce it as wind, twisters, blades, bombs, and sound, or to deny it and turn the very world around him into a static tomb akin to the core of a mountain.

… At least, it was his to command when Heaven's Fall was up. Such authority was not something that could be obtained so easily after all.

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. By that logic, in the land of the still, would that not make the one who can move anything less than God?

A flick of his fingers and a blade of wind chakra severed Kakuzu's tendrils instantly.

With the other hand, he grabbed onto Sai's vest firmly.

His eyes met with Hidan's gleeful, almost euphoric gaze behind his friend.

The arm behind Sai that had been pointing his black pike at the boy's spine, which had been frozen just a few centimeters from puncturing his victim's flesh, snapped forward before anyone realized he could move, skewering both teens in a single push.

It was to be expected. If the world was a God's (Naruto's) domain, then the only sort of being that would be able to trespass onto it without issue would be another God.

"SHINRA TENSEI!"

"… Amen."

Hidan's grin widened as both boys were replaced with a log that was almost mummified with exploding tags. At the same time, a titanic orb of power spawned with Pain in the center.

BOOOM!

As if a button had been pressed, the world seemed to return to motion with the combined explosions. Kakuzu and Naruto's compatriots collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath while Pain and Sasori merely stumbled in confusion before letting their instincts take control again, moving in different directions to attack the enemy from different angles.

Standing in front of his allies with Sai in hand, Naruto looked conflicted. "Shouldn't have said that. I should not have said that. I feel dirty and covered in shame now."

"Brat!" Onoki shouted in alarm as Sasori made the first move, commanding the Iron Sand around him to shoot forward like bullets.

"Too slow." Naruto snapped the fingers in his free hand, immediately kicking up a smokescreen of dust and dirt that completely masked his group's presence from Akatsuki.

With an annoyed grunt, Pain used another wave of power to clear out the cloud a second later, but it was already too late. Both members of Konoha and Iwa had already relocated to somewhere else.

"Above!" Kakuzu's warning came just in time, as a slew of smaller, yet far faster forming twisters came down on top of the S ranked shinobi, plowing into the earth violently.

No one noticed Hidan grin gleefully as he poked himself in the arm curiously.

o. o. o.

"That was close." Roshi muttered, looking at the chaos taking pace nearby from their hiding spot. "This jutsu of yours really is absurdly useful brat."

"It's also a pain in the ass to manage." Naruto hissed as he examined the small cut on his arm. Sasori had managed to graze him in his escape. It was a lethal blow to anyone else given the poison the man used, but only a minor annoyance for him.

"You couldn't deflect it like the others?" Jiraiya frowned.

"Keeping an efficient wind barrier up is harder when the entire atmosphere around you is going haywire, absolute control or not." The blonde grunted.

"Naurto. I'm, sorry." Sai grimaced as he was floating a meter in the air, not moving at all. "Hidan. He…"

"He's a monster. Yeah, trust me, I know buddy. Don't sweat it." Naruto carefully levitated his friend to not agitate his injuries and give him a look over. "Ma. Help out with the healing and… and…"

"Naruto-chan…" Ma's face turned pale as she too realized what was amiss.

"I'm sorry." Sai muttered, his voice weaker this time.

"No. No no no no no." Naruto's mantra was more like a desperate prayer as he glanced at his blood-soaked hands before turning back to his friend's back. With a swift flick of his wrist, he tore apart Sai's shirt to get a better look at what he was dealing with.

His nausea was killed by the greater horror in his heart.

There were several cuts and bruises in the teen's back. All of them were superficial. More to inflict pain than anything. They could have been easily dealt with by most medics.

The other injuries, were not so pleasant.

Three clean puncture wounds were constantly leaking blood. Small things in comparison to the cuts and bruises, but all in points that were lethal if not tended with professional care in the very near future.

What made them worse was that Naruto could feel a corrupted power, more fundamental than chakra, leaking from them. No normal medic would be able to address these sorts of wounds successfully.

If they had had time. If Ma had focused absolutely all of her attention and power on them, then there would have been a chance that Sai would have been able to survive.

But sadly, that had not been the full extent of his injuries.

Onoki turned pale, but held his tongue.

"That's, not a way to go." Roshi grimaced.

Jiraiya growled dangerously, fists tightening enough to draw blood.

o. o. o.

"No. Sai!" Ino shouted, leaning over the railing as if it would enhance her odds of reaching him. "SAI!"

"Son of a bitch!" Kiba swore. His rants joined with many of his friends.

"No way. There's, there's no way. That kind of wound…" Sakura stumbled back, her eyes wide in shock. She would have fallen back if Sasuke had not caught her. He had remained silent, but only because he was glaring murderously at the screen.

Kakashi and the other Jonin teachers there were silent, though it was clear that they had more than enough thoughts and feelings to add to their students' outcries.

"Naruto. That… you can do something, right?" Hinata shivered with a slew of emotions that she would rather never have. "You always have something prepared for when things go bad, right?"

The clone in her arms didn't say anything. It was too busy growling in pure rage like a rabid beast, radiating killing intent for everyone to feel.

o. o. o.

"Tsunade-sama." Shizune turned to the Hokage, only to have whatever she was about to say die in her throat.

She didn't say anything. With just a glance, she could already tell. The disgusted look on her face and the avoidance of eye contact was enough to know the truth.

o. o. o.

Hana gasped, her hands covering her mouth.

"Tch." Anko gripped her seat rests so tightly that they splintered in her grip.

"Waltz." Sylvia didn't turn from the screen, her expression unreadable. "You missed one."

"Nothing I could do about it from here." The old man's face was just as impassive. The only indication that he was bothered by the turn of events was the tightened hold he had on his staff. "He was in the Acolyte's grip when it happened. Constant physical contact."

A soft growling was heard. One that thrummed through the bodies of everyone there.

"That's…?!" Specks and Skyler turned around in confusion, only to both pale in horror as they saw the tiny body of Zuzushi materialize and perch itself around Shadow's head and shoulders.

One look in her burning pink eyes was enough to tell that she was annoyed.

"M'Lady." Sylvia bowed quickly in respect to the dragon, who did absolutely nothing to indicate that she recognized the woman's existence.

"Something I should know, sis?" Ghost spoke up. "I didn't know she was so taken with the kid."

"He fulfilled a curiosity of hers. And in turn she granted him a boon." Shadow answered never turning away from the image in front of her. "You know how testy she gets when her generosity gets wasted."

o. o. o.

Sai's spine was, for lack of a better word, obliterated.

It wasn't even visible through the skin on his back. Only a smear of a line of purple and red could be seen through his inflamed skin down his back. The only reason why he was even alive was because the damage looked slightly less severe in the upper half. The less damage was probably why he was even still able to breathe and feel pain at all.

Of course, Hidan wanted him still alive. Of course, he wanted Sai to feel pain. A living puppet that he could torture was a greater weapon for the madman than any kunai could ever be.

"I tried to stay out of things. Long range support. But… he noticed me because of it." Sai explained between breaths. "Jiraiya-sama and the others tried to stop him, but he just ran through everything. He said, he said I was someone of importance. That he was only allowed to kill three of us here."

"Fine time to have someone think you're valuable." Naruto bitterly muttered, his head bowed so his hair shadowed his eyes.

"Yeah." Despite the pain he was going through, Sai smiled genuinely. "Missions with you suck, Naruto."

"Heh. I've heard."

Roshi blinked as a feeling traveled up his spine. "Huh…"

"Roshi." Goku spoke up for the first time since their fight with Kisame. "You feel that, don't you?"

Another tremor was felt, only this time everyone detected it.

"What's that?" Ma looked around confused. From what she could tell, Pain and the rest of Akatsuki was still looking for them a small distance away.

Pa narrowed his eyes, trying to see anything further away, only to still. "Oh dear. This isn't good."

"What? What is it toad?" Onoki grimaced turning in the same direction, only to pale. "… What on earth… Han?"

Charging straight towards them, and gaining steam was the Gobi, or rather, the possessed, damaged, burned, warped amalgamation that was controlling the Gobi. It was difficult to call the thing they saw now and the Biju the same entity outside of their shared general shape, what with the extra limbs and malformed head that had been added to its twisted frame. What wasn't burned or scorched to kingdom come from Naruto's explosives was a plant like substance that was ever shifting like possessed wooden clay.

"There's more." One of Naruto's clones frowned, pointing in the opposite direction to where the just as beaten and vicious looking Gedo Statue was building itself up to a sprint. Unlike the Gobi, it was not covered in parasitic material, instead simply settling for appearing as a titanic burn victim, complete with a missing limb, malformed mouth, and bloodshot eyes that seemed to see nothing at all.

"Damn." Onoki stood back up, getting ready to fight again. "It's just one thing after another."

"Noisy." Everyone glanced at Naruto, who was still focused on Sai. "It's annoying."

As if responding to his irritation, the sky poured down dozens of twisters in the path of both monsters, each one impacting the mountains with enough frequency to sound like the arrival of a dozen titans of matching size.

Unlike before though, the Gobi and the Gedo Statue jumped out of the way of the interruptions. It was as if both monsters had learned from their previous experiences and had adapted in the short time they had been roasted by Naruto's bombs.

"They're still coming!" Ma shouted, unsure which one she should focus on.

"Oi! Brat! Focus! You're the one they're after, aren't you?!" Onoki snarled, a Dust Release technique already forming in hand. The two titans were nearly on top of them. The rest of Akatsuki, having obviously noticed the newcomers, had used their charge to tell where the group was hiding.

They were boxed in.

Naruto didn't seem to care at all as the sky was eclipsed by two large shadows.

"… Kurama. It's too loud. Can you do something about it?"

By the time anyone realized what had happened, the world had already turned on its head.

"What the?"

"Is, is that?"

"Did he just?"

Naruto was the only one that didn't seem bothered at all by the fact that two colossal crimson arms that weren't his own were extending from his body and latched onto the Gobi's and the Gedo Statue's faces.

Said arms were soon accompanied by the head and upper torso of a very murderous looking Kyubi.

o. o. o.

"_▄▄▄▄▄▄▄██████████!"

"Ghost? I thought you said that Naruto couldn't use the Kyubi's power. I was told that Tsunade-sama explicitly punted you out of your hospital room window while you were strapped to your bed because you made it that way." Hana shivered, unable to tear her eyes away from the image of the Kyubi fully materializing itself, nearly tearing off the Gedo Statue's and the Gobi's heads off as it swung both monsters around before throwing them around like rag dolls.

"He can't. Never said that the Kyubi can't use his own power though." The accused, in contrast to everyone else in the stadium, wasn't stunned by this turn of events in the slightest. "Look. You see down there? The Minion's still there with all the geezers."

"You mean, the fox, can leave Naruto's body whenever he wants?" Anko didn't like the conclusion she came to, but it was the only one that made sense.

"Yep. That was part of the deal they made when they duked it out. One way or the other, the furball was going to stretch his legs whenever he wanted. Minion's less of a container and more of a mobile home for the fox now, though if you ask him, the fox would liken it more to an insane asylum with crappy management and an annoying couple next door that can't have quiet sex for the life of them."

"Ha!" Shadow laughed off screen. "It's funny because sex!"

"… Eight."

Skyler turned to Dima. "Huh?"

"I see eight tails on the monster, but it's known as the Nine Tails." Dima didn't look away from the screen, his expression dull, but his eyes sharp as could be. "I'm guessing the kid won't last long if all of the Fox's power leaves him."

"What can I say? The two have a strong love hate relationship going for them." Ghost looked back at the screen. "You know how it goes Dima. Two hard headed overpowered idiots beating the shit out of one another so hard that only one of two things was going to happen. Either they die, or end up unrealistic best friends that do nothing but fight nonstop."

The old man huffed, barely amused. "Figures. A story as old as time."

On the screen, the Kyubi roared loudly, towering over all but the tallest mountains there with fangs and claws revealed…

o. o. o.

"That's, the Kyubi." Tobi frowned from a distance.

"Didn't think that the brat would be able to have so much control over it. He never looked to be the most stable of hosts." Black Zetsu noted.

"No. I mean, That's the Kyubi, in its entirety. Not simply the half that was sealed in the boy a decade and a half ago." Tobi corrected, looking inward his mind to make sure that the emaciated beast sealed within him was still there in one piece.

The difference was unmistakable. Even if it only had eight tails, the monster was vastly larger and more powerful than the half within him ever was. "Somehow, Uzumaki managed to… cultivate, his half into a whole beast once more."

"So what? There's now nine and a half biju in the world?" The white half joked sarcastically.

"I don't know." Tobi replied honestly.

"We need to get the statue out of there. It's damaged enough as it is, and the brat is smart enough to know that our plans are up in smoke if it is destroyed." Black Zetsu warned. "Not only is the Kyubi capable of making that possibility real, but Onoki is as well. For all we know, Jiraiya is too."

"Yeah well, you might want to get on that quick, 'cause the fox apparently learned a few new tricks while it was gone." The while half nervously spoke up, prompting the other two to pay more attention to the beast as it sat on its hind legs…

… With each tail splayed around it, pointing to the sky, channeling an individual tornado that reached up to the clouds.

"Looks like the Kyubi and Uzumaki get along better than we thought."

None of the three missed it when the Fox's eyes turned to them in particular just before its tails began to move.

o. o. o.

While the world outside was carved up like a piece of fruit in a reign of chaos, another setting had taken place inside Naruto's mindscape.

"No way! Kiba actually outdrank Chouji?!"

"Yeah." Sai chuckled alongside his friend. His body in pristine condition as he sat on the ground and drank some alcohol that he had never tasted before. "Turns out his mother trained him and his Hana-sensei to hold their booze like pros as soon as they became genin. Something about not repeating her mistakes. It caught everyone by surprise. He was lording it over everyone for over a week before Sakura and Ino challenged him to another competition and cheated with their medical ninjutsu."

"Heheh. I figured that might happen. There's no way that the old hag wouldn't teach them her tricks for keeping sober when the chips were down." Naruto grinned as if there was nothing wrong in the world.

"So did everyone else. Except Kiba." Sai agreed. "I don't know what happened that night, but what I do know is that the poor guy woke up in only his boxers and a dog collar in his mother's bed the next morning."

"Ahahahahahaha! In Tsume's bed?! Ahahahahaha!" Naruto couldn't hold his laughter, slapping his leg in mirth and barely managing to keep himself up.

"That was pretty much everyone's reaction. Ino has pictures too if you can believe it."

"Oh, I believe it, and I'm willing to pay for them."

They didn't know how long they had been like that. Time moved differently in mindscapes depending on the user, and Naruto had long since been accustomed to adjusting the flow to suit his desires.

They talked about pointless things. They talked about fun things. They talked about fun things.

They talked like two friends that simply had not seen one another in years and wanted to catch up.

"Man. I can't believe how much you've loosened up. You're almost a passible human being now." Naruto mocked.

"I'll take that with a bit of skepticism considering it's you that's saying it." Sai shot back.

"Fair enough." Sighing, Naruto took another shot of alcohol he had once sampled on one of the alien worlds he had visited. The good stuff. "… God, this is fucked up."

"Can't say I disagree." Sai didn't seem put out by the change in mood at all. "But then again, considering our job occupation, it could have been worse for me."

"We're teenager assassins stuck in a fight to save the world. In major roles no less." Naruto snorted sarcastically.

"Still could have been worse. I could have still been Danzo's mindless bitch instead of just a slave." Sai placated, patting his friend on the back. "Doesn't mean much to you, but from my perspective, I owe you guys everything for that. You even more for at least giving me a moment like this before I go. It's more than most shinobi would ever hope to get."

"… I fucking hate my luck. I just wanted a break from everything, ya know? A pause. A brief moment to not have to worry about shit like this."

"I can imagine."

"Yeah, well, sorry I dragged you into this mess man. Really."

"Don't be. Danzo's been throwing me into more and more suicide missions since you've been gone. It's gotten to the point where the rest of ROOT were unsure if he was actively trying to kill me or I really was one of his most trusted operatives. If I didn't know Presence I would have died years ago." Sai waved him off.

"The answer's probably "yes"."

"Won't say "no"."

"… Fuck I've missed you too much." Naruto chuckled, but the smile never reaching his depressed eyes.

"Mmm. And you've seen too much." Sai made his own observation. "… We can't stay here forever, Naruto."

"I know."

"And judging from the fact that you haven't made the offer yet, I can't stay here either like your folks can."

"I do not have the abilities in sealing, the materials, the time, nor the cruelty to do that to you. No."

"Nor do you possess any miracle medicine that can heal me."

"Not for your wounds. I managed to land a couple during my travels, but had to use them up because, well, I'm me. Security took the rest of my trinkets. Can't raise too many questions with where I've been."

"I shudder to imagine how bad it must have been if you needed them."

"Reality's a nightmare when it transcends fantasy."

"From what I've heard, you deserve to dream more than anyone else."

"Yeah well, I haven't been able to do that for a while."

That caught the ROOT by surprise. "I thought you wanted to be Hokage? From what I've seen, you have more than enough power and skills for the position."

"Mmm. I do. I did want to be Hokage, but, not sure if I'm cut out for it now. Not here…" Naruto pointed to his head before pausing and sweeping his arms around him. "… er, here."

"How so? It's not like you're the first Kage to be a bit off kilter. And your heart's in the right place."

Naruto sighed. "Being a Kage means putting the village before everything else. Other countries. Friends. Family. Your life. Being constrained like that… I can't tolerate being in that position. Border disputes and diplomacy over minor infractions that could lead to war? I'd kill myself if I had to spend my life worrying perpetually over useless shit like that. I've seen and heard of so many lands and countries wipe themselves out over such retarded and pointless things that I can't take politics or blind nationalism seriously anymore. It's a joke. Like, everyone's risking their lives to prove that their hobby club is the best to the point that they don't even notice that they're setting the building they're in on fire. I care about everyone, but I couldn't care less about the things they are giving their lives up for. If anyone tried to drag me into those problems, I'd probably kick everyone's asses just to make them shut up and leave me alone."

"Ha. Hahaha." Much to Naruto's surprise, Sai laughed at his rant. "You, you really haven't changed a bit."

"… Eh?" Given what he's been through, he was pretty damn sure he was more messed up than he had been when he had left.

"Ever since I met you, you've been uncontrollable. Not even the past two Hokage could keep you from doing whatever you wanted, even when you were within literally tied up in front of them. You just had that sort of personality that got people swept up in whatever you were doing or feeling. It was something I always envied about you." Sai finished his drink. "And yet, regardless of what you did or thought, no matter how stupid or insane we thought it was, going along with what you were aiming for always felt… right. Like it was the path that would lead us all to the results we wanted. The one that we needed."

"Sai-" Naruto didn't know what to say.

"Don't ever change, Naruto. For all of our sakes. You're honestly the best answer we have for this messed up world of ours, both the dark and light side. Even if most people will never see or admit it. We need someone unstoppable and unpredictable like you to throw our bullshit in our faces and laugh all the while. Hokage or not. Konoha or not. Only an idiot would be unable to tell that you are one of the biggest drivers in the world now. And as much as I am terrified at letting you behind the wheel, I'm also kinda jealous that I won't be able to see where you take everyone. I would have loved to paint it. And everyone together."

"… Yeah. We really missed out on something special." Naruto sighed, topping off his drink before standing up. "Guess this is it."

"Looks like it." Sai nodded. "It was nice seeing you again, you insufferable psychopath." Sai donned his trademark fake smile, only for a completely different reason than he normally did.

"Likewise, you pasty piece of shit." Naruto matched it with one of his wide toothy grins.

"I have something to give you on the outside before things get messy. It was something I was holding on for a rainy day. My greatest work." The Artist held his hand out.

"Say no more. I'll get it home with everything I have." The Lord of the Chaotic Heavens clasped onto it firmly. "Anything else? I'm open to requests."

"Don't let me linger." Sai's smile dropped, his eyes firm with resolve. "I played strong, but the pain I'm experiencing is unimaginable. There's no point in keeping me around longer than we already have. We both know that there's only one end for me in my condition. Don't let me distract you. You can't afford it now."

Naruto was silent for several long moments before sighing deeply. "I would have rather been called needle dick for the rest of my life, but fine. Your call. Anything else? Preferably something less psychologically traumatizing? Exploding kunai in the ass? Bad ramen? A clone army transformed as a naked Orochimaru eager to conduct more experiments, complete with extendable tongues? A forced watching of the movie, The Room, in its entirety? Trust me, even Ibiki isn't cruel enough to go through with that last one."

Sai was about to say no, when a thought hit him. One that put a smile on his face that honestly was more suited for his friend. "Well, I'm not sure if it's any less traumatizing, but I have always been wary of you using one particular jutsu again."

"That doesn't narrow down the margin by much."

Sai's grin widened. "Naruto, do you remember our trip back from the Land of Moon? The one where you almost sunk our cruise ship?"

"… Ooohohohoh Sai, you greedy, dirty, filthy bitch. You really want to go out with a bang, don't you? Don't worry, my friend. I'll set you up just fine."

o. o. o.

One minute had passed since the Kyubi had appeared.

It was a minute of absolute madness. Both for those in the chaos, and those witnessing it.

No one had any idea on who to follow.

Jiraiya with Ma and Pa on his shoulders facing down Pain.

Onoki holding off the multi-pronged assault from Kakuzu and his heart monsters.

Roshi trying to melt away everything that Sasori sent at him.

Two of Naruto's clones were keeping Hidan at bay with an absurd number of wind techniques so diverse that it was near impossible to tell which way was up anymore. The other two were protecting the original, who was gently resting his hand on Sai's chest.

The Kyubi fighting the Gedo Statue and the Gobi at the same time nearly on top of all of the aforementioned battles.

Jutsu and debris flew everywhere. An attack from one battle may have been intended to get in the way of another. A quick dodge from Jiraiya nearly killed him by accident after he landed in the path of the Gedo Statue's left foot. Meanwhile, Pain jumped in the way of one of Onoki's dust techniques to block it, lest it take out part of said statue's right kneecap. Pain then had to shunshin himself out of the way from one of Naruto's clones attacking him with a wind technique in the five second lull he had before he could use Shinra Tensei again.

"███████!"

While the shinobi were trying to deal with their own fights, Kurama was managing two amalgamations at once. One trying to ensnare him with chains, and the other with twisted vines.

Had it been the old Kurama, he would have had some trouble. Had it been the old Kurama, he would have attempted to kill everything around him, ally and enemy alike.

One clawed paw morphed into a hand, and grabbed onto a weave of chains.

The other did so with a large branch of fungus.

Had it been the old Kurama, he would have been worried.

The Beast of Nine. The final stolen Face. He was Nature's Authority. He was Power.

He, will not go back.

With a massive lurch, the Kyubi yanked its opponents from the earth, swinging them bodily in the air as if they were toys despite the fact that the two were roughly around its titanic size, generating a whirlwind that was outside of even Naruto's jurisdiction…

Then, with an equally unimaginable heave, he swung the pair down into the earth with such might that another cataclysmic fissure that matched the nine he had made earlier ruptured the mountains and traveled far into the distance.

And then, it opened its mouth and began to gather a lot of chakra at an insane rate.

"Shinra Tensei!"

Just before unleashing his Bijudama, Pain had managed to lose Jiraiya fast enough to leap near the Kyubi's head and knock it to the side with the force of a colossal hammer. The chakra bomb flew aimlessly into the distance over a mountain and out of sight for a moment before a colossal explosion rocked the land and a mushroom cloud was seen over the ridge.

"…" Kurama shook his head a few times as he got back to his feet, growling angrily at Pain.

"Your power is astounding. Even when you aren't using all of it, its quality and quantity eclipses the rest of your kin." The Leader of Akatsuki stated, never shying away from his target. "But, against these eyes, that power is merely a curiosity."

A deep rumbling shook the land. It took everyone a moment to realize that the fox was chuckling.

"Haaaa. Those eyes, they are wasted on a monkey like you. I can tell from how you speak, you are far from the quality of the one that last saw the world with them." The fox tilted its head to the side, its maw widening in what could only at best be described as a mocking smile, and at worst be a savage collage of teeth and violence. "I'm disappointed that my father's eyes could ever be so weak. Naruto hits harder than you."

Pain was about to say something, but was interrupted when a tornado funnel coming from below charged at him at speeds and a size that transcended anything that didn't come from the sky that day.

It was unlike any wind jutsu he had been hit with before. The power and gyration of the oncoming coil was perfectly contained in a circle, humming erratically and violently to the point that his bones and chakra receivers shook just by being near him. His Rinnegan, examining the move as it assaulted him could not witness a single stream or flicker of chakra escaping the path straight to him.

WHAM!

More shocking was that when he used Shinra Tensei, the attack didn't immediately disperse on contact. The perfectly contained form of the twister maintained itself, hammering into his counter attack with enough force to blow him away.

"Come on. Don't bend the truth Kruama. You make it sound like I'm some featherweight. I beat you, didn't I?"

"I never said how much harder you could hit." The fox smirked glancing down at his comrade, only to pause from what he saw. "Two? … So, you've decided to finally join the mess in person."

There was a brief lull in the chaos as all eyes turned down to the ground. It wasn't hard to find what they were looking for.

All anyone had to do was listen.

Standing next to the still body of Sai, opening a scroll in his hands as if whatever he was inspecting was more important than what was going around him, was Naruto.

And floating next to him, ambient like flying saucers, were two, double ring bladed Rasenshuriken.

o. o. o.

"Oh shit." Zabuza paled.

"This won't end quietly." Haku agreed.

"Context please." Ao demanded.

"One of those was the thing he used to beat us in Moon." The swordsman clarified. "It wasn't floating like that then."

"I see…" Mei frowned, putting a thoughtful hand to her lips. The more she thought about it, the more concerned she was about the boy known as Naruto Uzumaki. "The clones that were protecting him are gone."

It didn't take much to put two and two together. Or more accurately, the disappearance of the clones and the appearance of the chakra discs.

"He used the clones to make the Rasenshuriken, but, that means those clones were made of that concentrated chakra he was talking about earlier." Haku noted.

"Level Two variants." Zabuza nodded. "No wonder one of those things managed to put a hole through Iwa's walls."

"Just how much chakra can that kid manage?" Ao muttered. "That Seventh Sense Technique, those clones… He allocates and stores so much power in so many places, then shifts it around wherever he wants. It's insane. I've never heard of anyone doing something like this before on this scale. He technically hasn't even used the Kyubi's power himself yet."

While she didn't say anything, Mei agreed. At a cursory glance, Naruto Uzumaki did appear to be a rather short sighted, albeit talented, shinobi that happened to have access to a good deal of power.

But upon further inspection, the boy was nothing short of a monster when it came to chakra reserve allocation management.

The jutsu he used to manipulate the atmosphere. His Shadow Clones. The spirits of his parents. Each place the boy put his chakra prior to the fight was an investment that he could cash in dividends before reallocating to a new technique or utilizing in full for maximum effect.

But there was one series of questions she had at that moment that she was genuinely afraid of asking.

Since the beginning of the fight, just how much of his own chakra had Naruto actually used, if any? And, how much chakra did he have in the first place?

"We've told you before. Both us and the kid." Zabuza glanced back at Mei and Ao with a hint of annoyance before turning back to the screen. "He's insufferable and nuts, but he's as far from an idiot as you can get. In all honesty? There's not a single person from this planet that I would rather not see as an enemy than him."

o. o. o.

"… You fucking bastard." Naruto didn't look away from the scroll that would without question be his friend's magnum opus. His eyes never blinked. He wouldn't dare do this piece such a disservice. It was hard to keep his hands from shaking. "You had something like this on you the entire time?"

"You like?" The teen's voice was fading, his face pale and his body weak, and yet a small smile could be seen. It was obvious to everyone that he was in an absurd amount of pain and agony. "Didn't get a chance to use it."

"Sai. You won. Whatever I have done. Whatever I could do. What any of us could have done. Fuck all of it. You won. At everything. Forever."

To think that his friend had gotten permission to make this. And if his instincts were right, then mixed into the ink was…

He had to ensure that absolutely no one laid their hands on this scroll. Sai probably didn't know it, but he had very likely had accidentally made the most powerful weapon in this universe by sheer curiosity.

Scratch that. If anyone outside of this universe knew of it, there'd be invaders coming here by the armadas to get their hands on this.

What could only be considered an attempt at a single laugh escaped The Artist's lips before it turned into a groan of pain. "That crazy? I, always thought it was something special, but it felt like it needed work. Doesn't feel like I won though. Looks like some of your luck rubbed off on me."

It was only through sheer willpower that Naruto's hands didn't clench, lest he do any damage to the work of art in his hands.

Without a moment's hesitation, he rolled up the paper again, tossed it lightly in the air, and swallowed it in a single gulp.

It… was an acquired skill. One that he did not enjoy thinking about. Or admitting he had at all.

"Yeah well. Sometimes it's like that." Naruto wiped his mouth with his arm with a grimace. "You good?"

"Yeah." Sai didn't hesitate. "It's been fun. Naruto. Everyone. Thanks for being my friends."

The blonde pretended to ignore the increased feeling of confusion and conflicting feelings he was getting from his audience. Instead he pointed an empty hand to his floating friend. "Anytime."

Sai's body began to relax. The signs of his discomfort were ebbing away. "Kick, his ass. Naruto. Make it. A big one. Beautiful…"

"Heh." A wide, shaky, and fanged grin made its way onto his face. "Careful. You sound like that nut Deidara."

Sai didn't respond. The gasses that he had inhaled had already taken effect.

It didn't take long for those watching to realize what had just happened.

"Yeah. It was a bad joke." Naruto continued the conversation. "You're a way better artist than he is. Sorry buddy."

The battleground was at a standstill for the moment, watching and waiting to see what Naruto would do next. Normally, it was a stupid thing to do, but there was a damn good reason for their behavior.

Those spinning chakra disks around the kid were, to put things lightly, terrifying. No one had never seen raw chakra concentrated like that before outside of the Biju and their Jinchuriki using said monster's powers. There was an insufferable weight behind the things that made most wonder if they were even real to begin with. The sort of intense heaviness that made people question if it was even something from this world. No one would doubt it if a Boss summon or even the weaker of the Biju would be out for the count if hit directly by one of the things. The fact that they were floating in midair like that was like some sort of paradox, like a flying mountain.

Kakuzu shifted slightly, getting ready to move and exploit the boy's exposed back. He doubted that the things would be easy to control. They were dangerous, but like every other technique in existence, they only worked when they hit.

"?!"

He was absolutely paralyzed by the murderous intent that had drowned out everything around him.

It wasn't the normal brand either. There was a genuine quality and purpose to it. It was almost as if the source was warning him not to do anything to draw attention to himself, lest he become its next target. Like being locked in a cage with a hungry beast with several other unfortunates. The best thing he could do was not do anything.

His first assumption that it was the Kyubi since he was pretty much directly underneath the beast, but he had corrected himself instantly afterwards. He knew what the fox's rage felt like, and had become somewhat accustomed to it after it had appeared in this fight.

He regained his focus just in time to see the kid seal away the body of the other one that Hidan had been dragging with him…

"Oi. I'm over here."

Naruto turned to look at Hidan, who was standing on a pile of stones and surprisingly, focused on something that wasn't him for once.

"Eeeeh? So, it was like that the entire time?" The possessed man didn't seem at all interested in Naruto.

Instead, he was completely absorbed at the stirring Gedo Statue a short distance away.

"Power… How… Power… Power…" The monster wasn't in pain, yet it clearly experienced difficulty moving. Leaning forward and trying to stand up, its gaze turned to where everyone else was…

"Power… How… Power… ah…."

And then it seemed to notice Hidan, and paused.

"… Outsider."

A sick and demented grin cracked onto Hidan's face. As if he had just found something monumentally astounding. "Oh. This is marvelous. Hilarious! How silly! How ironic! A farmer eaten by its own crop! It just so- eh?"

His ranting was cut short, literally, as something passed by him from behind at an abnormal speed. It took a few moments for it to register to him that he had been slashed in half at the waist, even after the upper part fell down.

"Stupid." Naruto muttered, finishing the sentence, accompanied by a single spinning disc. In the distance, past Hidan's falling torso, was his other disc slowing down rapidly as if it was a remote-controlled toy.

Fast!

That was the general consensus that everyone came to when they realized what had just happened. There was almost a hundred meters between the two, and yet that impossibly dense chakra construct had flown across it in an instant.

"Wait! Naruto!" Pa shouted in alarm, remembering how nearly every attack on Hidan was echoed back onto the user.

But his worry seemed to be unfounded for some reason. The boy apparently was still in one piece. He wasn't even in pain.

Almost instantly though, as if his organs weren't even human to begin with, Hidan's crimson and pale insides, laced with pitch black veins shot from both halves to meet one another and once more become whole.

Snap.

With the small gesture from Naruto's fingers, the Rasenshuriken that had bisected Hidan spun rapidly end over end as if it had just tripped on something for half a second before stopping once more just as spontaneously.

This time with its core pointed straight at the recovering monster.

With its two rows of spinning blades on full display for everyone to see clearly and take in, as if it was some sort of divine instrument. Each set of blades extended the radius of the construct an additional meter and was a slight shade of transparent deep green blue off from the other, and yet both seemed to consist of a kaleidoscope of colors that mystified all that saw it.

And yet the core was a gem in itself. A core of pure power. A core of countless streams of color and complexity that was nothing short of hypnotizing.

A core that was glowing brighter with each passing instant in conjunction with the increasing speed of the inner set of rotating blades.

"It couldn't be!?" Pa's eyes widened in genuine surprise, as did everyone else's indicating they had realized what it was going to do just before it happened.

The chakra disc's face erupted into a contained twister that never changed in size or scale. A perfectly destructive cylinder that moved at speeds that were incomprehensible to all but the sharpest of eyes and skills. Such an attack did not blast through its target so much as it did obliterate and carve out everything in its path. Nothing more. Nothing less.

"… I see."

Despite being barely intact, Hidan took a step to the side.

Just a single step. It shouldn't have changed much. It wouldn't have been enough to get him out of the way of the attack.

And yet, it was somehow enough to get him outside the range of the circle that punched a perfect hole into the ground.

o. o. o.

"Oi. Kurenai. Was that what I think it was?" Asuma's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"I'm not sure." The Illusion Mistress' expression was the same as his.

"Sasuke?" Sakura turned to her boyfriend with worry.

"Yeah. I think he just did what it looks like." The Uchiha frowned.

A single step with results that were beyond the standard. The slight bending of space.

Hidan had just forced himself. He had just used an advanced form of Presence.

They were about to see what a real fight between two users could do.

o. o. o.

Hidan's eyes gleamed with excitement as he looked back at Naruto, completely ignorant of the fact that his body was still melding itself together. "Not bad. Not bad not bad. It took a bit to see what you were doing. You naturally have Power, but your skill in Space was unexpected. No wonder your attacks and control over this area are so abnormally strong. And I see that you are not unfamiliar with Will and Rule as well. You should have been cut up like me, but instead you simply a bit irritated. You really are different. Being this capable with so many aspects in such little time. It transcends simple talent and hard work. You're an abnormality. An oddity. But how? How do you make sense? How do you function?"

Only a handful of people could follow what the madman was saying, but few in general doubted it could mean anything good from the way the man was smiling and Naruto was showing no emotions at all.

"Ahhhh? So many." Hidan groaned, as if seeing something everyone else didn't. It sounded as if he was moaning in ecstasy as he wiggled his body and began to hug himself as if he was his own lover. "So much pain. So many deaths. So much raw experience. Five hundred? Six hundred? More? So much more. You're so intimate with me. Far more than most mortals. Sorry. I'm so sorry. I was mistaken. I was rude. My caress is nowhere near enough to make you thrive. I should have known when I first saw you. Wonderful. Simply astounding. Scary. That look is scary. It's a bad type matchup. I might actually be in trouble, even with the curse. But then again, it should be expected. You are Family. Hehehe."

The screen zoomed on Hidan's gleeful face.

There was nothing but a malicious alien loathing in his eyes. It was as if he was looking at someone specifically through the screen instead of at Naruto.

"You are all abominations and mistakes by default."

As if an unspoken line had been crossed, Naruto went on the attack once more starting with the Rasenshuriken that was behind the possessed man. Instead of going for a focused pulse, the flying disc went with a wide range blast that utterly obliterated the cliffside that Hidan had been standing on.

As expected though, the madman, who had managed to heal during his talking, managed to avoid the assault with a casual few steps that somehow took him halfway around the Kyubi.

Despite his massive relocation though, the two clones that had been harassing him until then somehow managed to assault his location not even a second later, raining powerful balls of compressed gas with such frequency that it looked like the weather was going mad.

Madness begets madness, however. In the absurd conditions, dancing and swaying with a smile on his face as if he was in his own little fantasy, Hidan moved with fluid ease, untouched by a single attack. No, that was wrong. He wasn't moving fluidly. His body was jumping erratically between tiny gaps in the assault, the distances so small and minor that he seemed to slip in and out of the world as if he was dancing on oil.

An oncoming harmonious shriek betrayed the immediate approach of the Rasenshuriken. It was an entity that was too large and too intense to avoid efficiently.

So, he blocked it.

With scythe and pike crossed in front of him, Hidan prevented himself from being bisected once more, but was still hit hard enough to be literally hammered across the entirety of the battlefield, completely unable to stop the blow from carrying him away.

"Such weight! Such Space! Astounding! You really are an oddity! I can barely stop myself from being torn apart!"

"I thought as much."

"?!"

Time seemed to slow down as Hidan looked back as far as he could to see Naruto standing behind him, standing calmly and making seals.

Ever since the cliff in Iwa, Naruto had pondered why Hidan had blocked his Invisible Black technique earlier. With his immortality and empathetic abilities, it should have worked to his advantage to get hit by them and spread the sensation to everyone nearby, and take out the clones in the process.

He was right in that regard. If Hidan was split into pieces, then Naruto's clones would have been torn apart as well…

… Including himself.

That stabbing sensation through the heart he had experienced earlier, the one that killed all but his strongest clones was without a doubt a result of Hidan ambushing one of his smaller copies without notice. With his abilities, as Empathy itself, it was as natural as breathing to spread the experience and sensation with every existence that shared Naruto's power at that very moment.

But that was with a normal Shadow Clone.

Level Two clones were not simply more powerful. They were more. If Hidan had capitalized on that fact, there was no doubt in Naruto's mind that a solid blow on the clones would replicate itself on him exactly.

Killing the clone would be no different than killing him.

He could handle pain. He couldn't handle death. Not by himself at least.

Thus, he made absolutely sure to keep all his advanced clones to fighting at range and use Presence whenever possible. He couldn't afford not to.

But still, Hidan blocked his attacks instead of avoiding or taking them directly. He still avoided his attacks for the most part whenever possible.

There was only one explanation that Naruto could come up with that made sense.

Hidan was immortal, but there was limits to it and his regenerative abilities. He wasn't durable, let alone indestructible. If the man's body was torn apart into countless pieces and spread all over the place, it was useless to him regardless of what victory it might bring.

Acolytes were peculiar things. As puppets and fragments of their Gods, they tended to be exceptionally quirky. If the raw power they possessed was limited, outside of the normal perks they got from being a puppet for the divine, their abilities tended to be exceptionally lopsided depending on what the patron Deity was.

Jashin was simply a name, a moniker, given to a Face of Empathy. Specifically, physical pain.

It was retardedly ironic thinking about it, what with Nagato claiming he was a God named Pain and all.

Physical empathy was a sensation of the living. A fraction of an imagined sense. Intangible in nature, but dependent on tangibility. It was a result of the physical world. Not a cause or a constant.

Thus, its effect on Hidan reflected that.

His physical power remained nearly static, but the quality of his jutsu had skyrocketed. It was different earlier when he fought Gai because the God had overdone it and granted his puppet body power beyond what was imaginable. But with the link now severed, what Hidan had now was all he could work with. No more. No less.

Then again, what he had now was already more than what most people could ever possibly manage even in their dreams.

Right now, stopping himself from being torn to shred by his Level Two Rasenshuriken appeared to be the peak of what he could do physically.

It was what he could do that wasn't physical that Naruto was worried about.

He couldn't beat Hidan outright, like tear him into countless pieces and scatter him to the wind. He might have been able to under normal circumstances, but Lee's Claim and Crypt's Curse made that all but impossible. The damn thing intervened with fate and causality itself when certain conditions were met in order to keep the "prey" around for the "hunter". The harder anyone tried, the worse the effects would be.

However, there were ways to deal with it.

And judging from how Hidan's eyes dilated, he had realized that Naruto knew that as well.

Flying backwards with his limbs occupied with his attack, he was wide open to Naruto. All he had to do was get one good touch on the guy and…

His spine was shattered.

A hole through his heart.

His body was speared from all angles.

A hand of death clasped around his skull, eroding and invading everything within his being.

Teeth tearing at his arms.

Acid through his veins.

Laughter was heard, a chorus of small children in the background, while his limbs were slowly turning, splintering his bones.

His everything burned as he was tossed into a volcano again while he slept.

His skeleton shattered from the resonance of pure sound, tearing apart his insides in a single explosion.

Naruto went blind to the world as his entire body exploded in nothing short of explicit agony for a single moment, causing his very mind to go blank. His body tilting to the side motionlessly as if he was a puppet with its strings cut. From an outside perspective, it looked like he has suddenly just turned off without any warning.

"Haaangh?!" The Kyubi above everyone stumbled the same time as his host did. Falling to several knees, the monster's movements caused the earth to shake and collapse from sheer cause and effect.

o. o. o.

Hinata yelped as the fox in her arms suddenly went rigid.

o. o. o.

"Oooh." Dima winced. "Cumulative experience relapse. Raw. That'll do a number on anyone. Don't think the kid will be able to get back up from that for a while. He should have kept his guard up."

Even among dimension travelers, moves like that were heavily frowned upon. Like nuclear weapons, only they targeted the victim's psyche. Saved only for those that deserved to die or suffer.

It didn't help that moves like that were the type to get stronger against enemies that were stronger.

"Ghost, what just happened? Was that a Genjutsu?" Hana was clearly worried. She had caught flashes of several disturbing images, but nothing that made sense.

"Long story short? Kid just relived some of his most painful memories in a single moment. It's a cheap move." Shadow summed up the answer with a yawn, as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Think he'll be all right?" Skyler grimaced, looking back to where Ghost and the others were sitting. He's heard of veterans that have been put out permanently by moves just like the one he's seen.

What caught his attention though was the fact that Ghost was lazily holding a hand up with three fingers sticking out.

"… No."

o. o. o.

Just as the teen had all but collapsed to the ground, Hidan, still being pressed by the Rasenshuriken raced by.

Had Naruto fallen just a moment later, he would have been decapitated by his own technique.

o. o. o.

Two fingers.

"There's no way."

o. o. o.

Stomp.

Naruto forced himself back up into a standing position. His teeth bared and his eyes wide with fury.

o. o. o.

"Fucking bullshit! That kid's supposed to be a novice! How did he come back from that!?"

Ghost paused and looked at his half closed second finger.

Huh.

He had been counting down to zero, not one.

Sai's death must have pissed Naruto off more than he thought.

Dima glared at the distracted immortal. It was as if he was accusing the man for a crime against humanity he couldn't prove but knew without a doubt to be true. "Ghost. You, I can never get used to how disgusting you can be sometimes."

To be able to recover from a mental assault like that so quickly, the requirements were nothing short of nauseating.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Bane of reality and all that." Ghost turned his attention to the fight again. He had no intention of defending himself from the obvious truth. Just like he didn't need to inform Dima of another.

That he was far from the worst thing that existed.

At least, as a person.

o. o. o.

In the small amount of time that Naruto had lost consciousness, the force behind the Rasenshuriken assaulting Hidan had weakened by the barest of margins.

It had only been after he had passed the blonde that he had regained enough control to heave his limbs enough to deflect the disc upwards, tearing his muscle fibers in the process. The pain and agony he experienced sent shivers of ecstasy down his being, even if the wounds were healed a moment later.

Free, he halted his momentum backwards with a long skid on the dried ground, then launched himself forward towards his closest target.

A boy that was an anomaly.

A boy that was strong.

A boy that was dangerous.

A boy that had experienced more pain and torture than most humans could imagine.

"Level Two."

A boy… that had somehow just regained consciousness and was turning around to face him.

Marvelous.

A scythe and a pike reared back to strike. The Abandoned Reaper reached out. Its caress would not do for this one. It must embrace.

"Invisible Black."

The two struck with the might and force of bombs, sending endless violent ripples through land and air.

It was like looking at two different fights at the same time, with viewers completely incapable of determining which one was real and which was fiction.

The Chaotic Winds churned wildly. Its freedom. Its possessions. Its domain. Its very nature was being violated. UNACCEPTABLE.

One was of two warriors holding the other off with their blades. One a young man that had drawn a fissure of wind from his bare hand with a fist in an instant. The speed so instantaneous and phenomenal that the action alone seemed to enhance its base power to the ranks of myth.

The Reaper's reach was impeded by the Wind's folds. Skeletal hands with no definition pushing against ever changing gales and ever changing borders.

The other was a madman who seemed to be twisted in so many ways that he did not seem to be human. Crude but efficient tools to torture in each hand pushing back against the ethereal blade of his opponent. What they lacked in the weight of power, they made up for in the weight of intent, the desire to maim and rend that was matched by their owners was palpable enough to be a strength from fantasy in itself.

The ground around them caved on itself. Not because the two fighting were powerful, though they were far beyond what could be considered normal. It was because the rules wielded by the two were so erratic that everything around them was incapable of remaining stable and fell apart on sheer principle.

With every passing second, the secondary images grew more and more distinct. Each stream of wind became visible. Tendrils of corruption that brought pain and agony inched in all directions. The world around them seemed to mold and fall apart from the influences of these ideas given shape.

"Kuh." Naruto grimaced as he maintained his push.

"Heeeeee." Hidan's smile grew.

He had a reason to smile. After all, there were reasons why Acolytes were considered so outlandishly dangerous outside of the potency of their power derived from Gods, even to veteran dimension travelers.

Using Presence put a strain on the user. The longer and harder they exercised it, the more liable they were to break. It was the reason why most users of the move, outside of the strongest, only brought it out in quick and medium bursts. It was fine to use so long as it was mitigated like a controllable resource, but overusing it could bring dire consequences.

Acolytes on the other hand, had no such limitation.

They could go all day and suffer only some minimal stress and degradation to their physical bodies.

The only reason why Hidan didn't do so already was because he didn't want to draw attention to himself. He wanted everyone distracted with their own selfish desires. For an entire village to fight and maim and kill as they pleased, so he could thrive and bask in a metaphysical ocean of agony and screams. To do something that would prevent everyone from enjoying his blessing, well that was just selfish, wasn't it?

"Heeehehehehe." Naruto slowly, millimeter by millimeter, began to lose ground. His image, while strong, was starting to fail to prevent Hidan's from invading everything around him. At this rate, he was going to lose the clash, and probably more if the three red blades on the scythe pointing over his head was any indication. He knew it, and his opponent knew it.

And then Naruto smiled widely like an innocent child. Completely relaxed and at ease.

"Eh?" Hidan's confused expression was matched by the viewers.

"Ptoo." With a quick exhale and a pop of his tongue, two tiny blobs of saliva shot at bullet speeds straight into the Acolyte's face. It was an impossible shot that wouldn't have gotten anywhere near Hidan, let alone past the two clashing blades if it weren't for the wind chakra guiding and protecting the projectiles the entire way.

Not into his eyes, where even the echo of the feedback would cause Naruto to stumble and unable to see…

… But up the man's nose, all but donkey punching his sinus cavity without technically causing any wounds or pain.

Or feedback.

"HAAAAAAAA!"

The single moment of weakness caused the entire world around them to explode.

With a titanic heave that felt like it carried as much weight as a boss summon, Naruto swung his body to complete his attack, launching his enemy back at speeds that simply didn't exist.

There was a brief pause of half a second, as if everything around him was still processing what had just happened.

And then the world was cleaved in two.

Everything around the teen for dozens of meters in all directions shattered into countless pieces as if they had all been bombs. Off to the slight right a few hundred meters away, nearly the entirety of several small outcroppings were severed from the ground cleanly and blown away as if it was nothing.

It was as if everything around him had been determined to be made out of nothing but fragile material, and his display of power had overwhelmed everything and everything that was in range.

And then, as if time was reversing itself, the wind carrying all the debris away from Naruto changed directions.

All because Naruto himself was inhaling deeply to the point that his mouth seemed to imitate a black hole, his head and back arced back while doing so.

More.

His chest bulged, as if it reached a threshold it shouldn't have had.

More.

Again, his body shook, making the air quake.

More.

The ground beneath him collapsed into a second crater, unable to take the pressure of being near him. But this time, he had stopped sucking in the sky.

Good enough.

He didn't say or shout anything as he snapped his head forward and unleashed the contents.

It wasn't so much a ball of chakra and air as it was a mountain. A borderline transparent colossus that seemed to stretch on endlessly in either direction, tearing a literal canyon into the grounds and beyond as it charged uncontested after Hidan. At a bare minimum, it was as wide as the entire span of the Kyubi's tails had it splayed it out like a fan.

Later, once the shock of everything had passed, people would claim that at that moment, Naruto had shattered the world record for the largest wide scale projectile attack done by a single person.

Much to Naruto's future displeasure, since there were no "qualified officials" to verify the stats at the time, he was denied said honor, but that's neither here nor there.

o. o. o.

"YES! YES! ALL OF MY YES! IT'S STUPID BUT HOLY SHIT FUCK YES!" Shadow half cheered and half bellowed in laughter as everyone around her was too busy with their dropped jaws from the nose incident earlier.

"… I didn't teach him that." Ghost lamely tried to excuse himself. Sure, he had done the mouth shot during a clash before, but it was normally just a blast of condensed air through the face or into the eyes. Up the nose was a new one, even for him. Mostly because it was a harder shot to pull off when the eyes and mouth were equally viable targets. There was just no point under most circumstances.

No one believed him.

"But I really didn't!"

o. o. o.

While most people would be satisfied with Hidan being blasted away towards the barely recovering frames of the Gobi and the Gedo Statue, followed by the mother of all large wind projectiles in short order, Naruto was not.

The sound of two hands clapping together hard echoed over the battlefield, blowing away any dust nearby.

"Wake up!"

A short distance away, his Level Two clones that had been knocked out by Hidan's feedback earlier snapped awake.

In other locations, the errantly flying Rasenshuriken immediately stabilized themselves before launching off into seemingly random directions.

"Kurama! I'm doing the thing! Move your furry ass in gear and get everyone that matters out of here!"

Naruto's declaration immediately had everyone on edge, including the Kyubi. "Here?! I thought you didn't want to damage the village!"

"What did you just say about my village?!"

"We're far enough!" Naruto made cross seal, ignoring the Tsuchikage's yelling.

o. o. o.

All around the edge of Iwagakure's borders, shadow clones popped into existence. Their attention was not aimed at the village below, but at what was to come.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing here?!" Approaching one of the newly formed copies, Kurotsuchi appeared. The fighting was still going strong in the village, but things had stabilized enough that she could turn her attention to whatever the hell was going on in the training grounds.

The explosions, twisters, roars, and pure insanity going on there was so intense that many people on both sides of the conflict had lost their will to fight. Instead, they claimed that it didn't matter what happened in the village. In their minds, whoever won the fighting on the grounds would win the conflict in the end.

It didn't hurt that one of the titanic twisters that the Kyubi had manifested and slammed on the ground earlier had barely missed the village either.

"No time! Big boom! Preventing fallout! Get everyone to brace themselves! Stupid powerful Jutsu inbound!" One of the clones shouted back at her while making seals.

"Wait, what?!"

o. o. o.

Pain didn't know what exactly was happening, but considering the Kyubi's response to Naruto's orders, it was probably in his best interest to prevent the boy from pulling off whatever he had in mind.

For a brief moment, he had half a mind to try and get Konan and Itachi to wake up the clone with his real body that had passed out in shock for some reason but decided otherwise. It had been noticeably quieter with him unconscious. Almost even pleasant.

Still, for the briefest of moments, he had hesitated.

During the clash between Hidan and Naruto earlier, when their Presences fought against one another, he had felt it.

Not Pain. Nagato.

The offshoots of wind. The overwhelming assault on his nerves. Even though his Deva Path was a good distance away, and his main body was where it had always been, Nagato had felt everything as he had been there in person.

Presence. Just what was this absurd power?

And then that moment of hesitation passed.

"I don't know what you're up to, but I won't let it pass." Pain charged forward towards the boy, barely avoiding the Kyubi's titanic tails as they swayed and swept the battlefield, each a tool of cataclysmic destruction in their own right. He could feel Kakuzu and Sasori too busy keeping themselves alive on the other side of the Biju facing off against Jiraiya, Onoki and Roshi. They were of no use right now.

The boy hadn't moved from his spot since unleashing that massive wind jutsu earlier. The Gedo Statue was in terrible shape, and would be worse still once hit with said technique, but it was a sturdy and ancient mystery. There was no doubt that it would still be usable from just that much damage, though how much more it could take even he didn't know. Naruto was clearly preoccupied with whatever jutsu required, his hands busy controlling… something, instead of making seals. Now was as good a time as he was going to get. "Bansho-?!"

He had to dodge as a spread of bullets passed through where his head had been moments earlier. Glancing to the side, he saw the last two remaining high-powered clones trying to flank him, no longer attempting to conceal or conserve their power.

"I see. A final gambit then." Something about Hidan made the boy desperate. The two talked earlier as if they knew something that everyone else didn't. There was a clarity and awareness there that no one else had. He didn't like it. He didn't believe for an instant that the priest was being possessed by a God of all things, but it was clear that something was going on.

"No. Just a gambit." One of the clones corrected, floating in mid-air in front of the original Naruto, making seals.

"And it's not meant for you. You're not worth it." The other looked down on Pain while also flying and going through symbols.

"Your priorities are as skewed and misguided as always. Bow before God. Shinra Tensei!"

Everything around Pain was blasted away from him. One of the clones took his move head on in order to slow down its advent onto the original Naruto, while the other seemed to somehow slip up and above the orb of power as if it was sliding on soap, using a large ball of condensed air to dampen the blow to nothing, until it was above him.

Just like last time though, the clone had manifested a giant barrier to hold back his power, but this time he would not hold back. The ground beneath him was compacted to the point that not even the greatest masters of earth techniques would dare to travel through it. The foolish clone was skidding back meters by the second, unable to impede his almighty power. Soon enough, he'd overtake the original Uzumaki's position and disrupt whatever jutsu he was preparing.

Then he'd defeat the boy and the Kyubi and reestablish his position as God of this world in the minds of all that saw him. Pain was God. Pain would not be denied. Pain would save this world…

The Patron of the Forsaken with the Eyes of the World would not be denied what is owed. Through its hands, both real and imagined, its vision will come to be…

ITS VISION NEVER LOOKED UP. ITS VISION NEVER SAW THE HEAVENS. IT WAS NO GOD.

As if his mind had been rattled to the core, Pain mentally stumbled at the sudden, almost alien like thought that had bored down on his own. His head and eyes lurched straight up, and saw the second clone literally hovering just over the borders of his attack with a glowing dark blue ball that bordered on black in its hand that radiated power.

"Level Two. Rasengan."

It then reared back and slammed the ball into the apex of the dome.

There was a great flash. A wave of power that thrummed through the air in all directions.

And ultimately, nothing.

Pain frowned as the clone above grimaced as it maintained its position, the ball of power pressing down on Shinra Tensei, but ultimately, that was all it was doing. The technique itself was powerful. Being able to condense THAT much chakra into that tiny space was an accomplishment in itself that genuinely had him worried for a moment. But in the end, it was just a ball. There was no power behind it to break through his technique.

It was like having a diamond tipped drill bit, but no drill. You needed both to carve into the hardest materials that exist efficiently.

"Foolish. I was worried for nothing." The leader of Akatsuki frowned, returning his gaze back to the clone in front of him. The one that was impeding his attack.

The one that he REALLY shouldn't have been paying attention to.

"Sssssss. Haaaaaaaa." The rasengan wielding clone breathed deeply as if to steady itself, grabbing its attacking arm with the other and positioning its body right over the chakra ball. Judging from the look on its face, it wasn't going to like what it was about to do.

o. o. o.

The screen showing what was going on suddenly zoomed out and away from the fight. Further and further it got, revealing all the fighters. The Kyubi. The whole ravaged battleground. Even some of Iwa was seen by the time the camera stopped moving.

"... Atlas."

THUMP.

For the briefest of moments, the bulk of the sky in the screen seemed to lurch. As if the curve of a titanic invisible ball had been seen, with the lowest most point where the clones had been fighting Pain.

Several seconds later, a large shockwave passed by the screen.

o. o. o.

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow." The clone grimaced as it yanked its shattered arm out of Pain's corpse from the bottom of a crater, the look of genuine surprise still on its face.

Using Atlas on himself always was painful, but to this day Naruto had only encountered a handful of defensive measures and phenomena that could hold up against a direct combination of that and a Level Two Rasengan.

There had been a point where he had been very tempted to name the combo after a certain massive drill wielding robot with too many faces. Drill that pierced the Heavens indeed. Though in his case, it was closer to being a giant ass hammer of heaven used on a tiny ass nail downwards. The fact that the combo only worked down was also a bit of a limiting factor.

Flaw number two with Shinra Tensei and other techniques like it: it was damn near impossible to move when using said techniques when in a static position, regardless of how much power was put behind them.

Sometimes, it just didn't pay to be a one trick pony.

Well, granted, Pain did have a couple of other moves that could have been problems, but in the end he was over reliant on just the one to get anything done most of the time.

Shinra Tensei was a strong move, but it could still be overpowered if enough raw force was put against it, as his memories from the previous timeline had proven.

"Oi. Nagato. You there?" The crippled clone was slapping Pain on the face with its good hand. "Is there a limit to how much damage this can take before you can't use it anymore? I mean the body is dead to begin with. Blink if you can hear me. Testing. Testing. Konan wants you to fold her into impossible shapes in bed, but is afraid of snapping off your emaciated dick if she gets too into it."

For a moment, it thought that the body had twitched at his comments, but it didn't so much as budge after that.

"Looks like it's out of service." The other shrugged. "Better seal it so he doesn't fix it again."

"Sure thing." With a quick press of his palm on Pain's stomach, the clone set up a seal that would prevent it from being teleported or summoned.

BOOM!

The titanic air blast that the original had uses earlier had finally exploded, making it impossible to see what was happening on the other side of the battlegrounds.

They were running out of time. The attack had been massive on design. Not to do damage, but to prevent Hidan from getting around or through it, stalling him for more time.

"You good?" The other clone asked, approaching him while stretching its not shattered arms.

"I'll manage. Still running hot." The injured one sighed. His arm hurt like a bitch, but he could manage. Thankfully, Level Two clones were made of stronger stuff. Normal clones would have popped from that kind of damage. "Any feedback from this?"

"Some tingling, but that's it. His influence is range based." The other flexed one of his hands before pausing and turning around with a scowl. "He's coming."

The Reaper yearns…

"HEEEAAAAHAHAHAHA!"

"I can only help out so much with one hand." Though he expressed his doubts, the crippled clone held up his good hand with a ram seal.

"We only need to stall." Two good hands clapped together. "Sky Art. Abandoned Doldrums."

WHAM!

Hidan was halted as he slammed into an invisible wall halfway to his target, much like the one that had halted Pain's attack. The difference being, instead of a single barrier wall, he was instead against several layers of unmoving gas molecules that extended seemingly endlessly in either direction.

"Nngh." The madman didn't seem to notice or mind that his neck was broken when he got up, evident by the fact that his head was tilted at a ninety-degree angle. Looking at him now, it was clear that he had not gotten away from Naruto's attack unscathed if his torn clothes were anything to go by. With a sickening crack, it was corrected without any effort at all. "Heheh. That's mean, Lord. We were about to have so much fun, but you're hiding behind a wall now?"

The original Naruto didn't say anything. Still in a horse stance with his arms stretched out in either direction, it almost looked like he was holding something apart… or…

"Hm? What's this? What's this what's this? What are you doing Lord? What are you holding? What weight do you bear?" Hidan frowned in curiosity, taking in Naruto's stance. He looked to either side, and for a moment it appeared he would remain clueless, until something caught his attention.

And for the first time since the fighting started, Hidan looked nervous.

"Oh my. So that's what you're doing. You're serious, aren't you?"

Naruto wasn't holding something up or away from him.

He was bringing two things together.

Off in the distance to either side of Hidan, a Level Two Rasenshuriken was flying at breakneck speed straight at him.

o. o. o.

"… It couldn't be. Th-that's…"

Ino turned to Hinata, who was progressively turning a paler shade of white. "Hinata? What's wrong? What's he doing? Why are you freaking out?"

"I'm getting a bad feeling about this." Sasuke frowned. All the hairs on the back of his neck were standing up on end to the point that he felt like they wanted to rip themselves free of his skin. It was the sort of feeling he got whenever Naruto was about to do something absurdly overkill. The problem was that even when the guy had activated that weather manipulating technique earlier he didn't get a reaction this worrying.

Still hugging the stunned clone in her arms, the Hyuuga Heiress began to shiver slightly. "I think I know what he's going to do, but… then, I only saw him do it once before with the weaker versions of those discs. I think. I can't even imagine how powerful is version will be."

"How dangerous are we talking?" Chouji swallowed heavily, not liking where this was going. "It can't be worse than the tags, can it?"

Hinata hugged the fox tighter. "Cruise ship."

"Cruise ship?" Shikamaru frowned in confusion.

"Cruise ship?" Asuma and Kurenai parroted, just as bewildered.

"Cruise… oh no." Ino paled, piecing together what Hinata was referring to.

"Ino?" Chouji shook his girlfriend slightly, seeing her stiff and frozen in shock. It turned out to be a bad idea as she instantly turned around and grabbed onto his vest for dear life.

"Cruise Ship Chouji! Cruise Ship!"

"Still not making any sense Ino."

"Wait, didn't you say once that Naruto almost killed you by accident when you were taking a cruise ship back from the Land of Moon?" Shikamaru frowned in confusion.

o. o. o.

One would think that with an impending ultra-powerful technique on the way that the seconds counting down to it would be nothing short of saturated with tense battle, extreme desperation, and the use of exotic and absurd jutsu of which the world would only hear about in legends.

The Reaper reached forward and-

Fwoosh!

"Ack! Pttt!"

Naruto was never one to conform to the standard way of thinking.

Hidan was having a harder time trying to get to Naruto than anticipated. The countless walls of air in front of him were a hindrance yes, but by themselves he would have managed to get to his target with time to spare to prevent the oncoming cataclysm that he could feel with every fiber of his being.

Fwoosh!

"Aaaaaargh!"

… Well, almost every fiber of his being.

It turns out, even if one was being possessed by a God, it was still quite distracting to have half a ton of dust and dirt blasted directly into your face. Normally this wasn't a problem, what with his powers and all, unfortunately…

The air turned and the jubilant Heavens played with Earth in all directions.

Fwoosh!

… It apparently didn't take much to get past said defenses if said debris blowing in his face was also enhanced by Presence.

It was also surprisingly difficult to destroy large walls of static gasses when one was constantly having their primary senses assaulted. It didn't even hurt that much.

Who knew?

"Will you cut that out?!"

"Nnnnope." The one-handed clone had a cat like grin on its face as it guided the air around Hidan with a single finger.

"You are infuriating, Lord!"

"You mad? I'm right here. What cha gonna do? Come at me bro. Come at me." Another flood of debris rushed up and assaulted Hidan's senses. "Oops."

"Please stop pushing him." The other clone groaned. "At this rate, he's going to snap and do something HRUGK?!"

Both clones flinched and dropped to a knee as pain racked their bodies.

"Haaa. That's better." Hidan growled, yanking the pike from his thigh with a vicious slash that tore apart the first two walls in front of him in a single go.

"You happy?! He came at us!"

"Shut up and hold the line!" The crippled clone breathed in deeply-

Stab.

Only to falter and cough violently, exhaling chakra and air harsh enough to blow it back.

"I have humored you stray winds long enough." With a savage yank, Hidan ripped the spike out of his chest, out of one of his lungs.

What came next was the most bizarre assault display ever witnessed. With one swing, the madman tore through several layers of walls. With the other, the man shanked himself just as violently in a new and painful place that would have killed anyone else.

It wasn't just a sign of his impatience and sadism. It was also one of desperation. The chakra discs were not far now. He had mere seconds before Naruto completed his technique, and even though Hidan didn't know exactly what it did, he could feel that it was enough to be… a problem, if it wasn't stopped.

"Mother! Fucker!" The clone holding up barriers swore. It could barely stand through the onslaught of agony it was being inflicted with. It wasn't injured in any way, but a clone could only keep itself stable after experiencing getting stabbed all over its body so many times.

He was making progress. Just a bit more. Just a few more slashes and he'd get to the Lord. He could see the boy now, standing a bit further back. A swipe with his scythe. Then a stab to the kidneys. Another slash, and his jugular was torn. The next vicious stab almost got him through. Just one more and-?!

His mind was flooded by the image of Naruto glaring directly at him before he was blasted away by a sudden concussive force that launched him halfway back to the mangled Gedo Statue and the Gobi, who were only just barely managing to pick themselves up again.

"Do you mind? That trick of yours is annoying."

Hidan glared up and was about to speak when he seemed to choke on his words.

"… What?"

The reach of the Heavens is endless. The limitations of Chaos are nonexistent. With one in each hand, his reign has no peer. When both hands join, his reign would be known.

Naruto's Presence had changed. The endless skies above him had altered slightly, and the vague impression of a human like entity was imposed into the background with a titanic arm stretching in each direction, with each hand where the oncoming spinning discs were.

While the details of the image were still vague, as if hidden by a cloud of smoke, there was no doubt that it was glaring down on him.

This… something was wrong. Presences were impressions of the user, displays of mastery of oneself and what they were. That much was basic knowledge, but… but the images displayed rarely if ever physically resembled the user to this degree.

The boy had done something, no, the boy was something different. It was on the tip of his tongue. He had known that the child was different in some way. A peculiarity that he couldn't nail down. It had been a mere curiosity before, but now he knew it was something important. Some critical fact or detail that had been forgotten when he was severed from his main consciousness. Something that verified just how distinct the boy…

Wait.

Critical? Distinct? Different?

Even if the boy knew how to use Presence, Hidan, an Acolyte, a fragment of a God, wouldn't use such words to describe such a person. In the realm of infinites, an individual rarely ever stuck out as a genuine outlier. No. They couldn't.

But the boy was without a doubt one.

Somehow… somewhere… a rule had been broken.

"Cursed Memory… what did you do this time behind our backs?"

The moment of genuine surprise had cost Hidan though. The scant time wasted had only brought the discs closer.

Ten seconds

In the distance, the Kyubi had ensnared the Tsuchikage and company in its tails and jumped closer to Iwagakure.

He glared at the boy. The clones had recovered enough that they were making more barriers as fast as they could. He couldn't tear through them in a single go. The odds of getting through them and stopping the technique were a coin toss no-

As if to shit on his hope, a massive twister slammed down in between him and his target, blocking his view of them.

"Tch."

Eight seconds.

He couldn't stop it. He could feel the oncoming obliteration. Going after the boy was pointless. Running away was pointless. His body was not durable enough to remain intact from what was to come. He had no jutsu or place to hide that could endure something this intense at this range. He was-

A crimson fissure in fate. A macabre that denies absolute. Hope for the twisted and broken.

Destiny is for the forsaken puppets. The only Fate that should be is the one made someone's hands.

A crack not unlike ones found in flows of ice, only lined with the color of blood fissured Hidan's vision, much to his surprise. It seemed to tear his eyes and his body away from Naruto, away from his image and the attack, and to a specific direction, snapping his head back and to the side to the point that his neck should have been broken by the angle.

He felt a silent perpetual scream of pain. One so faint that even its owner didn't know what it was doing.

Hidan blinked.

Six seconds.

Hidan grinned.

Five seconds.

Hidan ran. It wasn't to Naruto.

"Too late."

Naruto breathed out slowly, his hands just a few centimeters away from one another, mimicking the image that his Presence was displaying.

"This one's for you buddy."

Above the battlefield, the pair of Level Two Rasenshuriken slammed into one another.

But that was just the start.

Hundreds and hundreds of layers of atmospheric pressure seemed to compound and compress on the two blades, preventing them from exploding or falling apart, melding their already impossible levels of power together. The two balls in the core of the disks never joined, but pressed against one another with the intensity to crush the hardest of materials. The power they possessed melding and spinning to the point that in the final moments that the core was visible, it appeared similar to a wildly spinning mono-colored yin-yang design.

The weight of the sky itself became so heavy it was suffocating. Colors everywhere were distorting and bending, transforming the image of the land into something almost alien like. It was as if the entire battleground was no longer on earth anymore.

Clap.

And then Naruto pressed his hands together.

When Chaos and Heaven meet, a truth is witnessed.

"Sky Style."

His truth.

"Wake of Fuijin."

Everything went white.

o. o. o.

The explosion was like something from a fantasy.

The sounds it generated were only properly conveyed through the cameras once they were recording from an absurd distance away. Far enough that those watching had a reasonable idea of just how big it was to begin with.

From what anyone could tell, the pillar of power took up the entirety of the training grounds, a radius of literal kilometers in all directions. It didn't matter if there were mountains or valleys within range. Everything within it was absolutely obliterated by the unleashed chakra and winds the like the world had not seen the like of since the primordial era.

In Iwa, thanks to the clones the Naruto had set up earlier, the backlash of the cataclysm had climbed up and over the mountainous walls of the village, shooting boulders and clouds over the entirety of the civil war at breakneck speeds. The density of it all was so high that the overshoot had literally eclipsed the sun.

Combined with the record level violent earthquakes and the massive spike in power, the chaos had forced literally everyone in the village to stop fighting in order to get their priorities straight and start worrying about more important things.

Like survival.

o. o. o.

Shadow whistled, clearly impressed. "Not bad. Not often I see a new air-based move of mass destruction that isn't yours Ghost. No wonder you sealed up the kid."

"It's the strongest move he's got under his belt. Packs one hell of a punch. Truth be told, I didn't think I'd see him use it when we got back. He barely has enough chakra to make two of those Level Two Rasenshuriken under normal circumstances, so it's not exactly the most efficient thing to pull off in a big fight." Ghost admitted, completely ignoring the shellshocked reaction that nearly everyone in the arena had.

"I can feel it from here." Specks glanced to the side, looking at the sky in the distance, even though there was nothing there.

"Same here. That's some power the kid's sitting on." Skyler nodded in agreement.

"Ghost. What was that?" Dima, on the other hand, was more focused on something else.

"A big fucking explosion."

"Don't play stupid. Waltz. Shadow. Sylvia. Scabbard. You saw it too. That boy, his Presence…"

"We saw Dima." Waltz cut him off, his blue eyes taking an unnatural sheen for the briefest of moments. "And we will discuss it. When it is appropriate."

The old man paused and looked around at his peers for a moment. On the surface they appeared to be calm and cool as normal, but upon closer look he saw things that could only be picked up after centuries of knowing all of them. The way they smiled. Posed themselves. Sat. A flickering of the shadows. A brief off color pixel on the corner of the television screen.

Ghost was in trouble.

He was in DEEP trouble.

"Haah. Fine." He leaned back in his seat and started to relax, when something brushed against his senses. "Hm?"

"… Oh? Well, isn't that a twist?" Shadow almost purred, leaning against the railing. Her eyes were glimmering with interest.

"Twist?" Anko choked out, finally managing to find her voice again while the explosion was dying down. "What? That the kid just almost obliterated Iwagakure?!"

"Ghost Oogakari." Everyone paused as several ANBU appeared behind the group suddenly. "You are under arrest for subversion of Konohagakure and are to be detained."

"Yeah yeah. Right to stay silent. Funny how you show up when you think that the fighting's done. I'll go when the show's over." Ghost waved them off lazily without turning around.

One of the masked individuals took a step forward. "I fail to see what else might interest you. You have already quite possibly started the next shinobi war with our Jinchuriki, and have willingly displayed vital village secrets out in the open. The fighting is over. There is nothing else that needs to be seen."

The immortal snorted in dry amusement and pointed to the screen. The light of the explosion had almost died. The crater left over in the mountain range was massive and clouded by airborne dust and debris. There was absolutely no question that the entire area around the village would need to be remapped after this. Roads to and from Iwagakure would need to be remade from scratch, and that didn't even factor in the compromised security protocols that were now rendered obsolete by the changed landscape. Even if the village went out of its way to declare war, it would be too busy spending too much of its time trying to adjust its strategies for a home battle to do anything for months if not years.

Slowly but surely, the battleground itself was clearing up for everyone to see.

After such destruction and devastation, the fighting had to be over.

"You sure about that?"

o. o. o.

Standing behind a barrier sustained by his two clones, Naruto breathed out slowly. His body was aching in all sorts of ways. The pain that Hidan inflicted on him was merely a sensation, but it still fucking hurt.

He had never been this close to the center of the explosion before, and honestly, for a moment he had wondered if he was going to accidentally take himself out by his own technique.

Again.

That, would have sucked. And it was embarrassing.

Off in the distance, he could feel Kurama's chakra, along with the old geezers. Thankfully they had gone along with the fox's urging and took shelter before all hell broke loose.

Sasori and Kakuzu, were alive. Sasori must have been far enough away and made an iron shield to weather the blast for them. Even so, to hold out against his attack at this range must have sapped him of an absurd amount of chakra.

And as for Hidan-?!

"… Oh come on. You've got to be kidding me."

With a wave of his hand, all the clouds in the battleground were blown away, revealing his worst fears.

Near the center of the blast was a single large body. Roasted and beaten into a mangled mess, the fact that it was intact in this barren crater was something that should have already been considered a miracle, even if it was unrecognizable.

The fact that it was moving made it a horror.

But, it was not getting up, or showing any signs of consciousness.

Instead, it was shrinking. Almost as if it was being eaten from below.

More and more. Down and down. From a titanic bulge, it condensed further and further, until two frames were visible.

o. o. o.

"What on earth?"

"Who is that?"

"The heck is going on?"

The questions were echoed across the elemental nations as the picture came closer to the two individuals, standing unblemished.

One was Hidan, confidently grinning, his eyes glimmering with excitement. It was as if he was proud of what he had accomplished.

The other…

o. o. o.

"It, it can't be…" Zetsu gasped as he melted out of the earth and saw who was with Hidan. "How is this possible?"

"Zetsu. Explain." Tobi frowned, materializing next to him.

o. o. o.

"Naruto." Kurama took a step forward, his fur standing on end, his fangs and claws bared, and his eyes near bloodshot. "You idiot. You did it again."

Naruto swallowed heavily, completely unready for this new development.

Standing next to Hidan, absorbing the corpse of the Gobi, was a beautiful noble woman that looked no older than her early thirties. Dressed all in white, with long ivory hair and two horns, she was ethereal in appearance, and alien like in aura.

As the last of the beaten corpse fused with her body, the woman's eyes opened to reveal two Byakugan.

The vertical gash on her forehead remained shut.

Kaguya Otsutsuki was awake.

"… FFFFFFffffuuck I hate my life sometimes."

It was just one of those days. The kind that just kept on dragging on and on…

o. o. o.

Omake:

"CHHHRRRRRRIIIIIIIISSSSSS!"

"Aaaaand welcome back folks! Today we have a special bout between some of the most despicable and obnoxious assassins in the omniverse!" Scab commented from the sidelines, once more using his rarely heard announcer voice. "In one corner! Standing at Six foot flat and One hundred and Fifteen pounds soaking wet! You know him! You hate him! You wish he'd just roll over and die already or at the very least sow his mouth shut! GHOOOOOOST!"

"Boo!"

"Get off the stage!"

"Your cucumbers are overgrown and your cabbages have slugs!"

"Bullshit! My cabbages are in pristine condition! They are moist, green, and crispy!" Ghost shouted at the audience.

"No crazy Ghost! It is Rolf! The gardener and son of a Shepard! Hello, thank you very much, yes? We have a serious problem! We need to talk after your annual bout with the yuletide harbinger of judgement! I also might need go back to the old country to see Nana for the celebration of winter endearment! Also, Victor says hello and thank you for the snowcaps for his horns. They are very nice, yes. Say thank you Victor."

"Baaaaa."

"Is that a goat?"

"Yes, this is Victor. Say hello to the nice man Victor."

"Baaaa!"

Wham!

"No Victor! He is not a poacher!"

"Aaaand in the other corner! Standing at Six foot Eleven, deigning in at over two hundred and eighty pounds of Jolly Christmas pain! The bringer of joy and the terror of the Naughty! Chris! Mother Fucking Kringle!"

"Wooo!"

"Santa!"

"You set my home on fire as a child from all the coal I got but I still love you man!"

"Now then! Because The Author was a lazy bastard and couldn't get a chapter out on Christmas, we are giving everyone this post yuletide beatdown! No rules! No time limit! The first to go down is the first to say oh holy good night folks!"

"I don't know what he's talking about but I don't care!"

"Kick his ass Santa!"

"Ready for another beating Ghost?" A shirtless and barrel chested Santa Claus readied his fists, donning brass knuckles colored in holiday colors.

"I'm going to go Crypt on your mistletoed ass Chris." Ghost lifted his swords above his head as if he was some unhinged priest. "ALALALALALALALALALA!"

"I didn't start the fight yet but no rules so fuck it!" Scabbard cheered as Ghost ran headlong at Santa Claus in order to kill him with a high pitched war cry. He then turned to his siblings sitting at the table with him. "Do any of you have comments?"

"Putting a Superfly Weight fighter against a Heavy Weight is not going to end well." Waltz muttered before taking a sip from his slurpie. "I'm not cleaning up the mess they make."

"Go Chris! Beat his ass! I got five hundred k running on this bullshit! Finish him with the Mongolian Colonoscopy!" Shadow was yelling at the stage waving a ticket in hand.

"He's going me? But I'm me. Unless I'm not… but that means, I'm the chair. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME!? I MUST CONSULT MY DENTIST! HE MUST KNOW! HE MUST KNOWHOWOWOWWWW!" Crypt broke out into hysterics.

"Squeh." Zuzushi waved her tail lazily, trying to fall back asleep on the small pillow she was resting on.

"You heard it here folks! This shit is retarded and is a complete waste of our time! What do you say to that!?"

"WOOOOOT!" The crowd cheered.

Scab pumped his fist into the air. Nothing like illegal underground fighting between celebrities and equally illegal gambling rings mixed with mob mentality to make people throw their money away.

"OOOOH!"

"What's this?! It looks like we have a surprise challenger folks!"

"Baaaa."

o. o. o.

A/N:

As always, thanks Kagaseo for helping me out with betaing. Especially with that mess that you were just in.

Ok.

Ok.

Shit.

I really wanted the Iwa clusterfuck to be over with this chapter, but I got carried away.

Didn't help that Monster Hunter came out, and I'm an absolute dirty, filthy whore for that series. My screen name is Third Fang, shocking I know.

And FGO. Because, FGO.

Oh well, it ended on a good twist, right?

Right?

… Please don't kill me.

Right. So. New plan. Going back to FFD now. Already well into the next chapter there. TTRT is unfortunately going to be on the back burner for the time being. I'll work on the next chapter for that in the meantime, but seriously, FFD takes priority now. Sorry guys, but that's how it goes.

So. Naruto. He's really fucking strong.

TBH, I like to think that he approached this fight like a pro gamer trying to find as many ways to buff himself for this situation as possible. Heaven's Fall can be considered akin to a field effect with a 20x wind element multiplier and cost reducer, while his upgraded clones are just, well, overpowered autonomous assistants that he can sap for power and can do nearly everything that he can do. And more importantly, they can multitask really well.

And yes, he essentially can remote control his rasenshuriken now for extra bullshittery. Because why not?

Seriously, why not? It makes perfect sense in retrospect.

All in all though, if Naruto had gone through this whole Iwa arc bit without any of this force multiplier preparation, this entire fiasco would have ended up being COMPLETELY different.

I've always been annoyed with a lot of these fights where the fighters' traps and skills are limited to "summon big things" and "make big explosions" and "This isn't even my final form!" The few guys that do manage the whole, field effect boost spamming are either timespace manipulating fucks, end game OP bosses, or they've set up the entire compound that the plot is in to be their own personal plot device.

Especially Canon Naruto. That useless piece of trash does not have a single move or skill that wasn't spoon fed to him in one way or another. The closest thing he has is Rasenshuriken, but he wouldn't have even gotten started on that unless Kakashi had walked him through sixty percent of the process.

I wanted TTRT Naruto to be strong in a way that showed that he didn't need Sage Mode or the Kyubi to be disgustingly imposing. A series of methods or strategies that showed that HE was strong because of his own efforts and methods, and not because he "unlocked some secret power" or "mastered some ancient technique". Heaven's Fall. Level Two clones. The unique uses for Rasenshuriken. Those are all Naruto's moves that he came up with himself without any guidance.

Basically, I wanted the good guy to set himself up with the sort of obnoxious boosts like most bad guys do because he also had foresight and didn't rely on pulling shiny things from his ass at the drop of a hat.

That being said, I decided to make my own twist on the setup, and personally, I think it turned out well.

Naruto wasn't joking when he said he thought he'd at best only be able to take on two of Akatsuki by himself, but he was talking about his vanilla, no super clones, no Sage Mode, no Kyubi, no Heaven's Fall self. Half of those were locked away, and the other need time to setup.

Minato and Kushina and the Kyubi are good hidden cards to play, but the first two together take up most of his Chakra so they're more like last resorts, and the latter…

… Ok, yeah, I have no excuse for that one. Kurama's OP as fuck here. He'd waste his canon self easily if they ever fought. I'll just say that he would only step out if he felt like it.

And, that's enough of me making excuses for myself and my horrible writing decisions.

Yeah. Kaguya's out early. Honestly, I think I haven't read a fic where that happens before… then again, I haven't focused much on Naruto fics recently so that's not saying much. But yeah. Plot twist!

And as for Sai dying, it was going to happen. There was no way that a clusterfuck this big was going to happen without anyone of worth dying. Honestly, it's hard writing for so many characters at once, so it's a bit of a morbid relief. It's cruel, yes, but it gets the plot moving.

As for Deidara dying so anticlimactically, I had originally intended for something more grandiose, but then I was like, "fuck it, I'm lazy and that will take too long to set up and make work in the plot", so he died in the chaos. Somehow, I'm not sad about the way it turned out.

I'm not done culling the cast either. Next chapter… yeah. Next chapter. You'll see.

As for Hidan. Yeah. That guy's a nasty piece of work. It took me a while to figure out the ways to make him a real natural disaster on par with if not greater than Pain while sticking to his whole voodoo grim reaper priest theme without making him too "A god am I", but I'm pretty happy with the results. The guy is the absolute worst enemy for a person that fights with lots of clones.

And as for why everyone related to the multiverse is making a big stink about something about Naruto being off, again, next chapter.

Ok, enough about the story… oh wait, one last thing.

Raug'moss. You possess an insanity that in many ways is just as twisted as mine.

Ladies and gentlemen, please, praise this magnificent bastard to the ends of the abyss. Why?

Because he spent the past few months combing through Yawaleh and betad it, cleaning the whole damn thing up, give or take the occasional small tweak here or there that anyone could have missed.

Even I don't have the nerve to pull off something that big, and I'm the nutjob that wrote the thing in the first place.

So give Raug'moss some props everyone. He definitely deserves it.

Also, Azndrgn just came out with a History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi timetravel fic that, so far, actually looks really solid. It's extremely rare to see a good Kenichi fic guys, especially one that isn't supersaturated with excessive romance or crossover elements, which makes me sad because Kenichi is one of my favorite manga series of all time. So please, give it a look if you have the time. I'd like this one to keep going. It's called History's Strongest Disciple Again? I highly recommend it.

Haaa. Let's see. What else? What else? Playing Monster Hunter. Writing. Working. Cold as fuck outside in Detroit. Um… Nope. I got nothing. That's it for now.

SO REVIEW! WORSHIP THE FALSE GOD/LOG! THIS SHIT'S TAKING FOREVER JUST LIKE THE WAR ARC IN CANON BECAUSE I SUCK! AND REVIEW AGAIN!