More Than Flesh & Bone

Chapter 40

Reunion

A slight breeze ruffled the strands of hair that had escaped my hasty bun as I stared down at my brother's grave.

I'd woken up in Zed's arms with the early morning sunlight trickling in through the windows. We never did make it to a bed. After taking a few stolen moments to appreciate how fucking gorgeous he looked bathed only in sunlight, I'd gently untangled myself from his arms and had gotten dressed.

There was something I needed to do.

No, I wasn't making an escape, and no, I didn't do a walk of shame. I made a point to leave a note for Zed before I left in case he woke, telling him where I was going and that I'd be back. This was just something I felt like I needed to do by myself, and it didn't feel like something I should put off any longer.

Now that I was here, though, the stress geese were back, their massive wings flapping wildly in my stomach.

"Trace?" I called into the wind, not sure if I expected him to answer or not.

One by one, flickering forms of my brother appeared before me until there were five in total.

I blinked. "I'm feeling a little outnumbered here."

The fragments of my brother's soul gave me a lopsided smile. It was so familiar that it hit me like a punch to the gut. People always expect twins to look identical, but Tracey wasn't my mirror. But the things that we did share, like our noses and our smiles, it made those similarities more special. He was a part of me. Our shared features were proof.

"I've missed you, shithead," the middle Tracey said.

"Not as much as I've missed you, asshole."

We stared at each other, both at a loss for where to go from here. So much had happened since we'd last seen each other, and a million fragments of conversations were fighting for priority. As usual, my brother beat me to the punch.

"So… my best friend, huh?"

"Ew, Trace. Were you spying on us?"

All five versions of him grimaced. "Definitely not. There's not enough brain bleach in the afterworld to get those images out of my head. Aurora, however, is a different story. She couldn't wait to tell everybody how… enthusiastic you two were."

Fire crawled up my neck and into my cheeks. "Please, if you love me at all, just stop talking."

His fragments laughed, sounding like a ghostly chorus.

"Trace… why didn't you tell me? About the Zombies and Zeta Omicron Mu?"

"You mean Reapers?"

"Whatever… Did you think I wouldn't have your back?" My voice cracked a bit, betraying some of the pain that the deception had caused. I wasn't mad at him anymore. I hadn't been for a long time, but secrets were something that had never existed between us. It cut at me, or at least the vulnerable pieces of me that I kept under lock and key. It was almost impossible to keep that guard up with my twin. Especially now.

"I couldn't, Squid."

The nickname, one I hadn't heard in over four years, pulled startled laughter from me. "You know I fucking hate it when you call me that."

"Yeah, well, you should have been a better swimmer."

All five versions of my twin did their ridiculous impression of the first time I'd tried to swim without my floaties. All floundering arms and legs. Trace, who'd been a natural, told me I looked like a giant squid, trying to wrap my limbs around him and pull him under with me. Sadly, the name stuck. I'd never appreciated hearing it more than I did in this moment.

Not that I was about to tell him that. Thank God Zed wasn't here and couldn't hear him. I did not need that to make a comeback.

"Why couldn't you tell me, Trace? You know I would have taken your secret to the grave."

Odd choice of words, considering everything. But true, nonetheless.

"I know, but I was trying to protect you. I didn't want this shit anywhere near you. You had all these plans about traveling the world and taking your pictures. If you'd stayed here with me, you would have ended up getting involved and all of those dreams would have crashed and burned."

I gestured around the graveyard. "Does it look like I give two shits about taking pictures? You are my twin… my place was here with you."

Each fragment wore a different expression, almost as if Tracey was experiencing a mixed reaction to my words.

"I'm sorry, Addie. Really," the first version of him said. "If I had known how it all was going to turn out, I would have."

"We both would have," another voice said.

"Dad?"

I turned to see a much more material form of my father hovering over his tombstone. He sat on it like a bench, with one leg crossed over his knee. In life, he had worn these ugly ass pinstripe suites, and it seems that death didn't change that.

"Hey kiddo," he said, smiling. Behind him, two more of my father appeared. He must have only been shredded three times. It explained why he was more solid than my brother.

"This is great. I can bring you both back. We can all be a family again…" I was speaking quickly, but my words soon stalled at the look on my father's three faces. "Dad?"

"You can't just put us back, baby. Our bodies are long dead. It doesn't work that way when you've been gone as long as we have," he explained gently.

"Then we'll find you new ones," I argued.

His features pinched together. "Addison…"

"Don't Addison me," I snapped. "You don't get to be judgmental after everything that's happened."

My dad shook his head, letting out a chuckle.

"Baby, I know you miss us. But where are these new bodies going to come from? You can't just take someone else's life to give us back ours. It doesn't work that way."

"Whoa, wait a minute. I never said anything about killing people, but everyone dies eventually. I just have to hang out at the morgue for a day or two and I'm sure…"

"Honey, I love you. I love you so much. But I'm not coming back. I'm moving on."

I blinked, stumbling back like he'd slapped me.

"Moving on?" I asked. "To where? The next town? Dad, you're dead. There's nowhere to go."

"The afterlife," he said simply. "The true afterlife. This is just the in-between that everyone has to transition through. Some souls end up stuck here. Some choose to stay. But real death, that's beyond even this. Your mom is there, baby. I'm ready to see her again."

I swallowed hard. Panic eating at me.

This wasn't the plan. This wasn't how this was supposed to happen.

I was supposed to bring them back.

I was supposed to get my happy ending, goddammit.

But a small part of me couldn't begrudge him this.

"I need you to help me get back together. I can't move on until I'm in one piece again," he said.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. This wasn't a betrayal, even though it stung. I knew that. It didn't stop it from hurting, though.

"How do I do that?" I asked him. The three versions vanished and reappeared right in front of me.

"It's quite simple, really," he murmured. The center figure leaned in to kiss my head and the two beside him touched each of my shoulders. A zap ran through me and the three versions solidified into a unified one.

My dad pulled away from me, a wide grin transforming his face. He looked peaceful. More of the hurt ebbed. Everyone deserved their happily ever after, even if it happened… well, after.

He ran a ghostly hand down my cheek and smiled at me. Pride and happiness shining in his eyes. "I'm so proud of you, kiddo. I wish I had more time, but the pull is strong. My work here is done. I love you, so so much."

Emotion clogged my throat. "Me too."

"Trust yourself." My dad's eyes shifted to my brother's fragments, which had flanked me. "And in each other. I'll see you both again. One day."

"Dad, wait…"

He was already gone.

I forced a breath and turned back to the Traceys. "I thought there would be more time to talk. To ask him questions. Or I don't know… to just be with him."

Anger, my constant companion, swelled fast, but I tried to clamp it down, not wanting it to interfere with the time I had with my brother.

"If I do that for you, put you back together, are you going to," I paused to waggle my fingers, "poof?"

"You mean move on?" one of the flickering forms asked. "No fucking way. The love of my life is still here. If you have a way to give me a second chance with him, I'm taking it."

Some of the panic that had taken residence in my chest eased. "Good. I don't think I could say goodbye to you right now too."

"You can't get rid of me that easy, Squid."

"Stop calling me that," I said with a watery laugh. "Come here."

The five Traceys surrounded me, their arms open until all five of them were giving me a ghostly group hug. Another pulse of electricity shot through me and then there was only one Tracey, standing in front of me.

He moved his arms, checking out his solid yet still ghostly form. "Much better."

"Does it feel different? Being shredded versus whole?"

Tracey made a face. "Kinda? It's like… you know when your foot falls asleep? Like it's your foot, you're looking right at it, and touching it, but all you feel is that weird numbness? It's like that… kinda. Like you're muffled or something. I dunno, it's hard to talk about, and anyway, there's other stuff we need to talk about."

I blinked at him. "Like what? What kind of body you want? Beggars can't be choosers, Trace. I'm not going to start combing the morgues looking for a Jason Momoa look-alike."

He gave me an exasperated look. "No, smartass. Although, Jacey would so be into that. I mean the fact that if you total Baby, I'm going to haunt your ass for the rest of your life."

Baby? He named his fucking car Baby? Well, it was my car now.

Finders keepers, bro.

"Watch it, Trace. I could put you back in a sheep for real this time."

He glowered at me. "You wouldn't"

"Try me."

He blew out a breath. "Okay, fine. Just be nice to the Impala."

I grinned. "You have my word. And awesome taste in automobiles."

His amusement faded as he grew serious once more. "That's not all. There's still…" he trailed off, looking lost for words. "I can't interfere, but I've been trying to warn you."

"Warn me? About what?"

"I wanted to give you the night. We all did after everything you've been through, but there's something you need to know."

"Know?" I asked, taking a step back. I crossed my arms over my chest.

"This… it's…" He motioned to the air before him as if searching for words but couldn't find them. Letting out a sigh, he said, "It's not all over. It's just beginning."

"What do you mean, 'it's not all over'?"

Tracey sighed. "I wasn't calling you 'Bad Addie' just to be an asshole. It was a warning."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I demanded, wanting to pull my hair out with how vague he was being.

His eyes fell on something over my shoulder.

My stomach sank, and my pulse started to race.

I turned around, and while I didn't know what to expect, coming face-to-face with myself sure as fuck wasn't it.

"Hello, Addison," my doppelganger said, sporting forest green hair so dark it was almost black and a pair of Ray-Bans. "I've been looking for you."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I just want to give a HUGE shoutout to Call2thewild on Instagram for totally guessing what was about to happen next! I told you there was some truth to your theory!