Daddy, Not Bats

by Glimare

AU, continuation of 'A Father's Request'. Join one 'retired' Batman as he raises his kids all together while trying to still save the world with this version of the Justice League. One Shots, mini-series, and headcanons, life for the Waynes is always interesting to watch, especially since they can't leave crime fighting behind them. T for paranoia

5. Wayne Rules

You wanted 'em, you got 'em. Can add to, but these are key right now.

Wayne Rules

1- Alfred's Word is Law

2- No speaking of, using of, or anything to do with firearms (guns) in Bruce's presence or on manor grounds. Alfred and on duty police men are the only exceptions. This includes super soakers, laser tag, nerf guns, and shooting games. You will not be getting any of them, ever.

3- Night lives, past or present, of any individuals are never to be mentioned around those not involved.

4- Always have your tracer and phone on. How can we find any of you if you're kidnapped? Report in to someone we know so we know you're alive when you don't want to be around anyone for a while. Stay on the grid.

5- When kidnapped, become as small and unnoticeable as possible, then find a way out. If they keep their attention on you, wait until you're alone with one of them before making a move to escape. Well behaved captives are left alone longer than smart mouthed kids, and aren't harmed near as much. Don't bother with revenge, just get out of there and somewhere safe as fast as possible. We can track them down later.

6- There are inappropriate subjects out there. Do not talk about them, especially around younger siblings and in public. This includes potty humor and R rated material. Refer to rule 1

7- Keep pranks simple and within manor grounds. If you have to pull them, don't involve anyone outside the family, and never bring Alfred in on it. No property damages. Refer to rule 1

8- During your fights, keep it one on one. Do not use hard or sharp weapons, in any manner. Remember your strength and never cause permanent harm to your opponent. If anything breaks, the fight ends. If anyone else gets hurt, the fight ends. Never throw punches in public, especially at school or charity events. Only kidnappers are the exceptions to this rule. Take them out hard and fast when needed. Refer to rule 1

9- The furniture and banisters are not toys or jungle gyms. Do not jump off of, swing on, slide down, climb up or use any fixture outside of how they were meant to be used. Also do not juggle smaller house hold items, like vases or glass figurines. Refer to rule 1

10. Most people do not like being touched, hugged, or used as a jungle gym. Unless you are familiar with the person in question, leave them alone. Tapping people on the shoulder is the best way to get a person's attention, not pulling on their clothes or cape or hair, and never by using them as a spring board. Refer to rule 1