Something I thought up at work today. Still working on the first part of the argument, but this is for your entertaining pleasure. Several pictures and comics have influenced this one. Enjoy!

Dick-16 Jason-12 Cass-11 Tim-8 Damian-2

Battle of the Cowls

"Alfred," Bruce started, poking his head into the kitchen curiously, "did you see where Jason or Damian went off to?"

"Indeed I did sir." Some humor dripped from the butler's voice. Still preparing vegetables for a slow roast, he elaborated. "I believe they and the others took refuge in the cave during your meeting with Mr. Queen. I trust the venture went well?"

"Better than expected. We may be able to save his company yet." He looked towards the service elevator through the kitchen pantry, Alfred's entrance and where they first carried smaller equipment in when he made the batcave. "I should probably see what they're up to."

"I'd advice using the stair sir." Alfred's usually hidden smile poked out in broad daylight. He nodded towards the intercom connecting him to the cave. "I have kept appraised of their actions, and I do believe you would like to observe them before interrupting."

Bruce raised an inquiring eyebrow but said nothing. Alfred didn't give advice like this unless it was really in his best interest. He looked at the intercom for a moment when he heard giggling and suspicious planning. They must be having a good time. Taking his time, he wandered to the study to the clock entrance he frequently used to get to work. This entrance was silent, that was why the butler suggested it. He could creep up on his kids without them realizing he was there.

And once he spotted them through the stalactites, he was glad he had.

"I am vengeance. I am the night. I. Am. BATMAN!"

"A lot deeper and a little more gravely," Dick corrected, pointing at Jason from the computer's chair with Damian in his lap. The preteen was wearing Bruce's newest version of his cape and cowl, his last one being in tatters from when he rescued his youngest. The toddler pouted sourly, clutching his batkitty as he watched Jason parade around in its matching costume.

The troublemaker folded his arms and bit back. "I think I'm doing pretty well for never seeing him in action, don't you?"

"Fairly well. But remember how he was when you pulled that stunt last year?"

"Which stunt?" He propped his fists on his hips as he asked.

"The one you got caught for."

"You really need to be more specific." This got a laugh out of both of them and Bruce had to shake his head. Jason loved to pull stunts.

"The one where you pulled in Tim and Cass, and I think there was green jell-o."

"The one Uncle Hal got me to do?" 'So that was his idea,' Bruce confirmed, shaking his head. Jason apparently didn't think anything of it.

"Yeah… I guess…." Dick apparently didn't know about the Hal connection either. "Anyway, remember how he talked then?"

"Not really. I was too focused on the jell-o in his hair." The kid was laughing as he remembered it, not the slightest bit sorry for what he did.

"Okay… Looks like I'll have to find another example."

"FOUND THEM!" Tim bolted into their part of the cave with his sister in tow. Both were carrying capes and cowls, older ones he hadn't worn in years. "Even found a light cloth one Damian can wear!"

"Sweet!" Dick grinned down at his baby brother whose eyes lit up at the sight of the capes. "See? Told ya Timmy could find one for you. Now what do you say?"

"Gimme!" Both Cass and Jason burst out laughing while Tim pouted and glared at the kid. Bruce gave a heavy sigh. They were going to have to work on that. Still, it was good to hear the laughter. Jason hardly laughed since Joker, even with his recent recovery. And Cassandra was still a quiet girl. He wasn't about to object quite yet.

"Noooo…." Dick though would. "The other thing."

"Tank you?" Damian looked at the teen inquiringly. He gave him a tight hug in response.

"Exactly! Very good Dami!"

"You're welcome," Tim stated, remembering his own manners as he passed his two cowls to them. No point in backtracking a lesson. Bruce was rather proud he took the higher road. The kid turned to Cass, grinning. "Let's get to work."

"We also found some belts." Cass raised three full belts and an empty one. "Couldn't fine one that'd fit Damian. Tim doesn't get weapons. He's not ready for them."

Another round of laughter at the kid's expense nearly made Bruce break from observing and joining them except Tim took it in stride. "Yeah yeah, laugh it up. I'm just not very good with them yet. Just wait, I'll beat you guys one day."

"Yeah, if you ever get off your computer." Dick helped Damian put on the very old cowl before placing him on the floor. "There you go Dami! All dressed up for battle."

"Look at me!" the toddler turned to them all excitedly as they put their cowls on. "I'm a Bat!"

"Whatever you say Dami," Jason joked, grinning at the comment. Each of them chuckled, now wearing their father's most memorable costume piece. Bruce just smiled watching them fondly. He was so glad there was some security cameras in the cave recording right then. He'd need a snapshot of all of them like that.

"Today," Dick started, getting out of the chair boldly, "we are all bats." For a moment he stood proudly, his chest puffed out and his fists on his hips, trying to look heroic. And in a second it was gone. "Oh my gosh! This thing is heavy!"

"You're complaining?" Jay strode up to him challengingly. "I thought you wanted to be Batman."

"Be like Batman," the teen corrected, making Bruce's eyes pop a bit. "There's a difference. Swinging from rooftops, solving crimes, helping people, that's what I wanna do. But scaring people in big heavy capes? No thanks."

"It's not that bad." Tim let himself be completely engulfed in his cape, almost blending into the shadows without realizing it. Cass practically had, naturally in stealth mode around people. "Feels like a big hug."

"I'm a Bat!" Damian squealed again, walking around excitedly with his batkitty still in hand.

"I feel like I'm wearing a Kevlar dress." Dick started walking around as well, fiddling with the ill-fitting mask. "How does he see in this thing? I can barely make out—WHOA! Night vision!"

"Where?! Where?!" Automatically his brothers started fiddling with their cowls, trying to turn on the night vision lenses. "SWEET!" "Cool!"

"HA!" Jason looked straight at Cassandra not too far off. "I can see you Cass! Can't get the drop on me with these night vision—AURG!" The girl flashed a light at him she found in her belt. "CHEATER!"

"Don't worry! I'll save you!" Quickly Dick darted in between the two of them, bringing one part of the cape up to shield the bottom half of his face. "I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the gum that sticks to your shoe! I am… DARKWING DUCK!"

"No you're not!" The preteen shoved him forward a bit. "You're supposed to be Batman!"

"I can be both. Face my hammers of justice!" The teen perfectly imitated Bruce's Batman voice as he brought his fists up. Cass nearly doubled over laughing as he continued. "Your dastardly dangerously devors are being deviled as we dally!"

"There is no way Dad talked like that!" Jason defended Batman's dignity with every fiber of his being.

Dick shrugged. "It's called creative license, and you should hear all the crazy stories buzzing around online when he was active. I remember this one about some yellow ancient evil rock being called Robert… Okay seriously!" He pulled back the cowl, frustrated. "How can he stand moving around with this thing?! It's flippin' heavy! And the lenses? I hate not being able to see like normal!"

Dick tried to move around again and kept getting tangled around in the cape. He glared at the end of it. "It's too long and throws me off. I'd never be able to pull half my tricks in this thing."

"Some people are better suited for capes than others." The preteen grinned devilishly. "Guess that proves it. I'm Batman."

"No I'm Batman!" Tim practically waltzed up to him defiantly. "You're too tall!"

"Excuse me? Look who's talking half-pint." Jason waved over to Dick fighting the cape still. "The only one of us who can even fill the cape right now is Dick, and he's not really into it."

"I think I hate capes," said brother muttered darkly, stepping on the hem again while trying to move once more. Tim and Damian made it look so easy, but they had lighter ones.

"At least you guys can be Batman," Cass piped in, coming closer with a batarang in hand. "I can only be Batwoman."

"More like Batgirl." She shrugged at her brother's comment, looking over to Damian pretending to fly in his cape. "Probably could go out into the field right now if you come to think of it."

"Yeah they'd be fun to explain." Dick yet again tried to move around with the cape before completely giving up. "That's it! I can't wear this thing! How can he stand it?!"

"With lots of practice."

Everyone froze at their father's voice before turning towards it. Bruce stood at the foot of the stairs, arms crossed and watching them. No humor on his face. They didn't know if they were in trouble or not yet. Damian though didn't care. He immediately flapped his arms at his father. "Daddy! I'm a Bat!"

"Yes, I can see that." Quickly, and before his youngest could get to him, he approached the oldest Batman impersonator and held out a hand. Shame faced, Dick took off the cape and cowl, handing it over to him. He was about to take off the belt too when Bruce put the pieces on himself. They just gaped at him as the true Batman made himself known to them. "But there is only one true Batman."

"Whoa…"

"That's the voice I was talking about!" Dick pointed at Bruce while looking over to Jason. "Deep, gravelly, and something you don't want to hear after a horror movie marathon at night!"

"You weren't kidding." Jason, Cass and Tim just looked at him, admiration and wonder in their eyes rather than the fear he was accustomed to seeing from people who saw him like this. They had seen him in costume at least once before, but those memories were very vague. Seeing him as Batman now, they couldn't help but be in awe of him. Their dad was so cool.

"Did you remember to finish your homework, my batmen?" The kids blinked at the note of humor in his voice as he asked, then all looked away abashed. His eyes narrowed behind his mask, still clearly evident even with the cowl. "Go get it."

"Right…" Immediately the four in school dashed towards the stairs, wanting to get it done before the full on bat-glare came around.

"Cowls stay in the cave, Alfred's law." He heard one of them groan and allowed himself a smirk, flicking on a brighter light for the cave. "They'll be waiting for you when you come back. They aren't putting themselves away you know."

"Waaaiiit…" He received a strange look from them for a moment before it clicked in their heads. Again the four of them grinned, throwing off their cowls before racing to get up stairs for their school bags. The game wasn't over.

Batman grinned, chuckling to himself as he picked up his smallest batkid. Damian giggled in his first cowl, raising his arms as if they were wings again. "I'm Batman!"

"Maybe someday."

Superman flew into the cave with a new weapon from Intergang, hoping Bruce would be able to find where they were being made. If he could take out the factory, he'd be able to stop future problems with that particular group of villains. Plus it'd put the League on better terms with Interpol. He was not expecting to be greeted by Batman. Or Batmen.

"Rao!" He just gaped at each of the Waynes just hanging out in the cave, wearing Batman's cape and cowl. In Dick's case, he had it draped over himself as he lounged on the back of the dinosaur, Les Miserable in his hands and worksheets on his lap. Jason, Cass and Tim were laying on the floor, math books in front of them as they helped each other with their homework. Damian was tangled in a very old cape and cowl, napping on Bruce's lap as he worked on a puzzling Riddler case remotely.

"What's going on?" he asked as he touched the ground next to the computer. He hadn't seen the man in even part of his old uniform since he came to Mount Justice to retrieve his rescued son from them. It wasn't something he wore often anymore, even looked odd. Especially without the rest of his gear on him. And the kids? "I thought you had it all under lock and key."

"Tim's rather good with picking locks. That from Intergang?" Batman's nonchalant attitude surprised the man of steel even more than seeing all the capes. Why were there so many to begin with?

"Uh, yeah… Is Alfred wearing one of those?" He pointed to the man's cowl, receiving a series of giggles from the kids on the floor.

"No."

"We should get him to!" Dick slid off the t-rex, landing neatly on the floor with his items and cape/blanket, grinning. "Then we should all take a picture! The Bat-Family! Properly dressed at long last!"

"Yeah right," Jason jibed, turning towards him sarcastically. "Like he'd ever wear one."

"That would be a sight to see." Superman looked up and down Dick for a moment, surprised he wasn't wearing one too. "Why aren't you—"

"Can't move in the blasted thing. Dunno how they do it." He motioned over to his siblings and Bruce at his chair, giving an exasperated sigh. "So freakin' heavy. You want to try it?"

"Dick," Bruce warned, his tone saying 'no' from his chair.

"I probably shouldn't," the alien stated, at the same time as he grinned and nodded his head. "You know how Batman is about his toys."

"Oh believe me, I know." Impish grins in place, the acrobat passed the piece over to him then dived a hand in his pocket for his phone. The other three bats on the floor spotted the exchange and covered their mouths to stop any escaping snickers. "You wouldn't believe how he reacted when I started juggling the batarangs when I was a kid the first time."

"Total panic attack?" Swiftly he pulled the mask over his head, adjusting it quickly to fit right on him.

"Close. He was a lot better the second time around. Smile for the camera!" As Dick took a snapshot, Batman, the real one, snapped his head around and spotted what they were doing.

"DICK!"

"Check me out ladies," SuperBatman joked, snapping some fake shots and grinning off to the side for another pose. "I'm Batman."

A/N: extra kudos if you can find that picture I just described at the end. it's the funniest ever! And so them, pre-reboot. If anyone's been reading the zero issues (getting it from online reviews sadly) then you know what else inspired this one. How else could a toddler Damian wear the thing here? Other references: battle for the cowl where both Jason and Tim tried to be Batman, Cass and her batgirl stint (I miss her!), and DickBats! he always said he hated capes, and I saw a comic online were Dick said he felt like he was wearing a kevlar dress. Thought it was funny.

Still working on argument. Thinking of throwing Steph in here somehow too, but not until after the next major arch. Think that's a good idea? Sadly, no idea how to involve Helena if at all. but not gonna cry over it. So steph, yea? nay? Have an idea on how, but not on when. Oh, more arch covers/hints for the future on my DA page. same name. enjoy!