heh, promised I'd get to this one next. Just a fun one before I go back to things more serious. Crack really, with a touch of 'I give up' parenting. Others are in here (pre-dami) but have no lines. Enjoy! Oh, certain events in here are referred to in 'Super Sitter'
Dick-14 Jason-11
Death Defying Huggles
Dick was bored. Very bored. Grounded too, which only added to his boredom. Really, what was so wrong about covering the Batsuit in glitter glue? Bruce hardly ever wore it, and frankly it looked quite nice now that it shined when the light hit it. Bet he wouldn't have gotten into trouble if he used red glitter glue instead of green, but it was so worth it! The look on Bruce's face…
But that little stunt cost him not being able to go to the zoo with the others that weekend. Thankfully he wasn't the only one stuck at home. Alfred of course was there to hold down the fort, but Jason had cherry bombed the toilets at Wayne Tower earlier that week. Course he said he didn't, but the cameras said otherwise. He was grounded too, probably more than Dick was.
And now he was bored. TV and internet were shut down thanks to Bruce's program he put up whenever they were in trouble. Their phones were confiscated, the video games were under lock and key (which Alfred only had and no one crossed him), and the batcave was locked tight so they couldn't fool around in there. Plus their favorite 'aunts and uncles' were told to steer clear of them unless it was a real emergency, so no fooling around with Superman or Flash or Martian Manhunter for the next few days. It really sucked to be grounded in this house. All he could do was work out in the gym (which got boring after a while if no one else was around), helping Alfred clean (did that, also got bored of dusting pictures and figurines), or read! (Something else he didn't feel like doing right then either)
Having just left Alfred to find something else to do until Bruce, Cass, and Timmy returned with their wild adventure stories, Dick decided it was high time he did something guaranteed to take away his boredom. Last he checked, his target was fiddling with something on the couch in the parlor. Hopefully it wasn't sharp.
Quietly he slunk in the back way, making sure he wasn't seen by his target. He spotted the thing his target was working on and grinned. Not sharp. That was going to make things easier. Creeping around the couch, careful not to be seen, his target was unaware of what was to come. Slowly he looked over the back of the seat, eyeing his innocent prey, before launching himself at him. "GOTCHA!"
"HEY!" Jason immediately tried to pull back as Dick tackle glomped him to the ground, narrowly missing the coffee table. The Rubix Cube he was playing with (trying to figure out how a seven year old could solve it so easily for the past few hours) went flying out of his hands as he struggled uselessly against the much older boy. "GET OFF ME DICKHEAD!"
"Nuh uh." Dick grinned impishly as he snuggled his kid brother on the floor tightly. The guy was not getting away that easy. "Your my cute widdle bwudder."
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" It was bad enough when the guy did his when he first came to the manor, but seriously! Did he have to hug him like that now?! He was fourteen! He should act his age for once in his life!
"Awwwweeee… Baby Jaybird is getting embawwest. Isn't he cuuute?"
"CUT IT OUT!" He wriggled best he could to get out of the guy's arms, but it wasn't working. The acrobat always had a tight grip.
"Does my widdle bwuejay want a kissy?" Dick batted his eyes up at him cutely, not giving him any room to get away from him.
"Do and it'll be the last thing you ever do!" The dangerous tone he took was enough to shy him away from trying.
"Party pooper. You no fun." He pouted for a moment, then decided to nuzzle his brother's cheek instead. "Cute though. And cuddly! So very cud—"
"AM NOT! GET OFF ME!" The boy thrashed against him, fighting to get free of the larger boy. Not working.
"Not a chance!" He grinned impishly, despite all protests.
That was it. Time to play dirty.
"GET-" He drove an elbow into his side.
"THE HELL-" His knee barely missed his groin.
"OFF ME!" Nails drove into the teen's skin, causing as much pain as he could muster into the guy just so he could be free.
"Ow…" The acrobat winced at each blow but wouldn't let go. He hadn't attacked Jason like this in some time. He deserved to suffer the humiliation a little while. So what if he'd have bruises for a few days after. It'd be worth it just to get under Jason's skin for a bit. "Me no think so."
"WHAT ARE YOU ON?!" Seriously! This guy was crazy! Jason did not do hugs. If he wanted one or needed one, he'd ask or silently shift around some people. Most of the time though, he hated it. Especially when this guy gave him strangle worthy ones. They've been through this so many times, their dad had to make rule 10 to get him to stop.
Dick blinked at him innocently. "Is that a trick question?"
Something snapped in the younger boy, and his brother could tell. Somehow he threw his weight around, turning Dick's back to the floor and jabbing a knee into the soft portion of his side. On top and bracing his hands against the floor for leverage, Jason shoved his torso away from the teenager, glaring daggers at the guy. The larger boy suddenly turned into a deer seeing headlights.
"Uh oh."
"You're dead goldie." Almost maniacal rage boiled in his eyes. "You are so dead."
"Only if you can catch me Jaybird." Before Jason could throw the first punch, Dick arched backwards, throwing the kid off long enough to flip back and away from him. The kid was scrambling to get to his feet while the teen ran as fast as he could out of the room and bolted to the grand staircase to escape his fists. A grin started to grow on his face. "And do try to catch me."
"NOW YOU DIE GOLDIE!"
Bruce had barely made it through the door with a tired yet happy Cassandra and Timmy when Dick practically sprinted towards them. "Bruce! Save me! Save me!"
"What the…"
The teenager flipped over the younger two's heads before dropping just behind the large man. "The evil one is after me."
The man looked over his shoulder to his eldest, raising an eyebrow. The younger two were also looking at him oddly, and no one could blame them. Though Dick had given them all a panicked look, it was more playful than scared. The 'evil one' must have been a joke on his end. "And who—"
"DICK! GET BACK HERE!"
"Ah." Jason's voice was all he needed to hear next and he knew a migraine would be coming. Cass lost interest immediately and returned to just walking back into the house. Timmy lingered, watching curiously as the second came running into view red faced, sweating, and glaring daggers past them to his target.
"See?! The evil one approaches!" Dick even pointed at the one he riled up, both joking and serious as he spoke. "He wants my blood."
"I wonder why." Not really. Bruce knew those two would fight for multiple reasons, and that if Dick was trying to not smile during this chase this much, he was having fun. Couldn't be serious.
Seeing his father and kid brother near his target, Jason took a breath and slowed down, his eyes not leaving the teenager hiding behind them. "Hey Dad. Mind getting out of the way so I can kill him?"
"See?! He's evil!" Dramatic mock superior disgust appeared on his face as the older boy pointed at him. "He cannot be trusted. He must be exorcised!"
"What did he do?" Their father asked, tired and not really interested in playing whatever game Dick thought he started.
"Broke rule 10!"
"Ah." Judging by how upset and out of breath the boy was, Dick must have attacked him with unwanted hugs and cuddles. That never settled right with Jason. And unlike the majority of his family who largely endured in silence or ignored his over display of affection when it wasn't wanted, he never went along with it. And Dick knew it. "He's all yours."
"What?!" The acrobat jerked an honestly surprised look over to the man.
Jason just grinned as he got closer. "You heard him! You're mine!"
"Dick I told you last time I wouldn't be defending you if you pulled another of your stunts like this again." He waved a hand over to Jason. "Consider this the consequences of your actions."
The teen blinked at him for a moment before returning to his game. "Oh NOES! Zeh evil haz taken over zeh great bat! Must not let it win!" Swiftly Dick leapt away from Bruce and picked up Timmy before running away, still in a mock panic. "Must save zeh children from zeh evil onez!"
"GET BACK HERE!" Jason jerked forward to follow only for Bruce to hold him back for a moment. Their eyes met as the man spoke.
"Don't break anything and don't put anyone in the middle of this. I really don't want Timmy getting hurt because the two of you are having fun."
"Who said we were having fun?" His father gave him a knowing look which quickly put him into a slightly bashful state. Jason looked away for a moment before nodding. "Fine. I'll call it quits at dinner. But I'm still getting a good slug in."
"Good." Bruce let him go to do what he wanted, satisfied. It was the best he could hope for. He learned long ago not to get in the middle of one of their bizarre games. It only ended with confusion and a few new bruises on any party caught in the middle, and maybe a few damaged household items. There was a reason rule 8 existed after all. "Go get him."
Encouraged, the boy grinned widely and returned to running around the place after his brother. He looked back only once after a few seconds. "Oh, welcome back! See ya at dinner!"
The man shook his head, smiling slightly in his tired state as he vanished around the corner. No matter how much time passed, he'd never quite understand why these two acted like this, but it was just something he had to accept. This was how they were, and that was that.
A/N: XD okay, seriously, I have two older sisters who would do exactly this, minus any acrobatics. and I'd be poor timmy here, picked up and used as a human shield to stop the younger older sister from hurting the older older sister. Only other difference I can think of between them and these two is that the older one would be meowing the entire time, and neither would involve my parents. I'm of the opinion that Bruce would just give up trying to break up fights so long as they didn't turn dangerous or hurt anyone else in the process and provided it wasn't in public. My mom gave up trying to figure out my crazy brother's head a long time ago for similar reasons. it's just how they are.
Dick's prank with the glitter glue is kinda based off of an actual sugar-high friend of mine's prank, but she did it to her dad's briefcase and I think it was pink. fun times. Hope you enjoyed their brotherly hugging/wargame/madness. I need to get back to the arc I'm working on... plus other things... *looks away*