Wow... has it really been that long since I posted anything? Yikes...

Anyway, I'm not dead! At least not yet. My feet hurt like crazy from working the past week (need money, badly XP) but I'm still alive. Anywho, one reason I'm posting this is to say I'll be at Salt Lake Comicon tomorrow! If anyone wants to see me in person, I'll be wearing a Doctor Who union jack t-shirt, a red hood hoodie, an elvan necklace from LOTR (can't spell it right but you know the one), black boots and dark blue jeans. Also I'll be taking a lot of pictures of cosplayers. This is a once in a while thing for me so I hope I can meet up with people there. Am meeting a friend so it's great for me either way. *snickers*

So here's the story! I'll put it in the timeline properly later. Enjoy!

Jason – 14 Damian – 3

Ace in the Hole

"Ace! No!"

That was all the warning Bruce got before he heard one of the displays in the cave fall over. He was in the middle of a conference call with the League, discussing a recent run in with Vandal Savage and anticipating future problems, not in the slightest prepared for any interruptions. His kids were actually really good about staying quiet in the cave until they knew what he was doing.

The new dog, not so much. "What was that?"

"Nothing important Flash." Trying to ignore the background noise, Bruce returned back to what he could find about the old villain. "A man who went by Green Lantern forty years ago was known to fight Savage from time to time. I think it's time the old and new met up to –"

"Ace! That is not a chew toy!" Jason's voice rang through the cave, momentarily distracting his father. His voice cracked, rather loudly at that.

"- discuss matters. You may even enjoy it." A crash came from the direction of the medical area, making the man tense up greatly. What was that dog doing in there?

"Get back here! Dami!" Childish giggling followed, forcing the father into action. What was Damian doing down there too? Bruce pressed a few keys on one board, bringing up the security footage of that part of the cave. On another he sent a quick summons for Alfred; hopefully he'd be able to right this.

"We can always call back," Flash piped in again while a few other Leaguers smothered snickers. "That is, if you're really busy over there."

"It's fine." More barking and giggling could be heard over the din just as the cameras finally put feed on his screen. Instantly Bruce was on his feet, turning to medical at a breakneck pace. "One moment."

"B?"

He ignored the question, running straight to the crisis his youngest created with the dog. Within seconds he could see clearly what the monitor showed him: Damian riding on Ace's back with a blanket tied around his neck as a cape, a paper crown on his head, and a fire poker being swung around like a scepter. Jason was trying, unsuccessfully, to grab the poker first before catching the duo making a mess of the area. The teen just tossed a torn IV drip filled with glucose aside as he tried to close in on the two again, only to see their dad looming dangerously nearby. "Ah crap."

Ace bound away from the lad before turning his head to see who else was there. Damian continued to giggle and bounce on his 'horse', ignorant that his father was standing close by. Bruce scowled at the dog, radiating his displeasure enough to cow its bouncy attitude, Ace's head and tail drooping in shame.

Seeing his ride becoming less fun, Damian raised his 'scepter' up to swing down and get it to move again. Jason caught it in that moment and wrenched it out of his hand. "I'll take that! Dami! You don't hit dogs!"

"Especially with metal sticks," Bruce reinforced. Getting the attention of the three year old at last, Bruce picked the kid off the dog and propped him up against his hip, forcing eye contact between the two.

Damian just grinned back at him. "Hi Daddy! Wanna play wif us? Jason's a poo poo head."

"Hey!" Jason held onto Ace's collar, making sure he didn't run away, but still objected to being called a poo poo head.

"Damian." His dad scowled at the boy, radiating enough displeasure to show he was serious but not enough to scare him. "Ace is a dog, not a horse. Don't ride him. And especially don't ride him into the Batcave. There aren't enough guardrails to keep the two of you from falling into a hole I can't get you out of. Understood?"

"But it's fun!"

Damian's cheery smile reminded Bruce of the specialty his kids all had: they weren't really scared of him, ever. The great and fearsome Batman could not intimidate his own three year old into behaving. And he didn't have the heart to do anything more than this to his toddler. Sighing heavily, Bruce knocked his head against Damian's lightly. "It's not fun for me, or Ace and Jason for that matter. Now cut it out."

"No."

"Damian –"

"Allow me to handle this Master Bruce." The voice of God would have the same effect as this man's did right then. Alfred seemed to materialize on his right, only a little winded and already set to handle the situation. Man was a miracle worker. He offered his arms towards the child, a firm note in his jaw. The little trouble maker was going to be set straight whether they liked it or not. "Young Master Damian, if you would come with me."

"No. Hey!" Damian's objection was overruled as his father put him squarely into the butler's arms. The tyke squirmed towards him, trying to get away. "Daddy! I wanna stay!"

"Not this time Damian." Bruce looked up a little to Alfred, knowing what was coming. "Don't be too harsh. He's only three."

"I will treat him the same as I treated you at his age," the butler assured him, still making the man cringe. Damian whined and squirmed more, his voice drowned out by the adults' reasoning. Alfred turned towards Jason keeping Ace still. "If you would, please assist in returning Ace upstairs, Master Jason."

"Yes sir." Jason was doing everything in his power to not laugh or even smile for whatever reason. Tugging a little on Ace's collar, he started following the butler back towards the entrance of the cave.

"Jason," Bruce stopped him before he could get too far, "what's so funny?"

A sheepish laugh escaped the teen before catching his eye. "Damian's being introduced to the paddle. I'm not the one getting in trouble anymore."

The man folded his arms, scowling disapprovingly on him. "And just how did they get down here to begin with?"

"That wasn't my fault at all," Jason started immediately, meeting his eyes easily. "Damian messed with the clock and then rode Ace down here. I barely saw the two go in when I came in the study to grab a reference book for class. Ran down here as fast as I could. But this guy's pretty fast."

He pointed to the German Shepard he was still keeping under control. Poor guy looked like he wanted to run away but knew better. Must have gone through quite a bit with a three year old on his back. Kid was bulking up pretty well lately.

Bruce watched them for a moment longer before asking another question. "Who was watching Damian?"

"Ah…" As a rule of thumb, in the large mansion, someone was supposed to be watching the kid every minute he was awake. Looking up, Jason thought it over. "Dick's with his therapist and Cass is training Tim in the gym. Alfred told me to do my homework and not leave my room until it was done. So I guess… Ace or Alfred was?"

"I see." Thinking for a moment, Bruce nodded and waved him on. "I'll get the details later. Get back to work."

"Kay." Dismissed at last, the teen bolted upstairs with the dog, more to get out of his dad's hair than to get back to work.

Sighing slowly, Bruce ran a hand through his hair and went back to his computer. "Let's continue."

"Uh… B?" Superman's voice cautiously came over the line. "Everyone decided to try again tomorrow. When there's… less distractions. Sorry."

Sighing, the man ran a hand through his hair again. Just great. "I'll get in contact with the JSA and see what they're doing these days. I should have their contact information by then."

"Bruce –"

"Good night Kent." With that he hung up the last line and leaned back in his chair. Looking at the ceiling, he mumbled to himself. "I just had to get them a dog didn't I. Just perfect."

A/N: Yeah... didn't quite like the ending and the title doesn't fit near as well as I wanted it to, but after remembering these funny comics on DA, I had to make it work. Damian riding a dog's been done in the comic i believe, but it's easier for a 3 year old (he'll be 4 soon) than a 12 year old. Also, Alfred is old school disipline type, so yes, he gets to spank Damian off camera. Sometimes I really think he needs it too. jason wasn't the trouble maker this time. Almost threw Dick into this, but he's got a lot of screen time as is.

As for why you haven't seen me around lately, mostly because I have work, haven't felt like it, and have been distracted by way too many other fandoms. Still somewhat in a Sailor Moon mode (which helps with my other stories to tell the truth) but also got into Scarecrow and Mrs. King. Don't know it, look it up. I love the 80s. =P I'm also working on making the three main story arcs in the Teen titans series prior to the last season (I refuse to think of Teen Titans Go as anything but an abomination to humanity) into one story, and so far I only have one of them done. HIVE academy isn't that easy, especially when exploring Sebastion Blood on the side. *sighs* That's life. Any ideas for that? Do tell. I don't have that season unfortunately so I have to look them up online. That's later.

I should head for bed now. Leave a comment below if you can! I may post again sometime this year. XD