A TANGLED WEB Part 8: Endgame
Chapter 7
by Charlie Nelson a.k.a. Ordinaryguy2
AuThOr'S NoTeS:
The main crossovers in this chapter include: ALF (1986-1990); Alien (1979); Challenge of the Super-Friends (1978); Dark Angel (2000-2002); Doctor Who; G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (1983); He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1983-1985); Land of the Lost (1974-1976); Lost in Space (1965-1968); The Prisoner (1967-1968); Red Dwarf (1988-1993, 1997, 1999, 2009, 2012); Space Ghost (1966); Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987-1996); The Transformers (1984-1987)
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Frowning, the Master bit the nail on his thumb while he looked over the map that some of the Decepticons had created for him. It wasn't very detailed, due to the fact that some parts of the Land of the Lost interfered with their sensors, but it did give a general overlay of the landscape. Areas that displayed unusual amounts of energy and technology were marked accordingly. Some of the landmarks were old and unlikely, but from the information provided by Q2, these Borg drones would seek out everything they could use before they moved on to their next goal which was Gallifrey. Which was also, surprise surprise, his goal, too. Did Q2 know that? He wasn't sure but he wasn't about to go against someone of that caliber of power. Yet.
The evil Time Lord had sent out a number of small groups to explore the land. Some long range, others short range, all with the orders to learn the landscape in order to gain field tactical advantages for the later conflicts that would occur as well as to learn what they could of the locals, gain weapons and learn the location of the Borg. The Master's peons were under precise orders not to engage the Borg but to bring back whatever information they could. He almost wished he hadn't sent so many teams out, but he rationalized that some of them needed to get out and think about their situation before coming back and following orders. They needed to accept the fact that they were truly under his thumb. Plus, he wanted a break from that damn annoying Dalek and its grating voice. You would think that a species that were able to create such a destructive casing for themselves would have considered also providing themselves with different voice options. It really wasn't that difficult after all.
This small microverse was proving to be a harsh crucible. As some of the teams returning from their scouting trips, he had learned that they had lost some of their weaker members. Shredder had lost a few of his Foot Clan ninjas in a bizarre encounter he was reluctant to talk about. Three members of the Legion of Doom -Gorilla Grodd, Sinestro, and the Scarecrow- who he had expected to return first since they were traveling by means of Sinestro's ring, did not return or respond to any calls made to them. Skywarp, of the Decepticons, damaged one of his wings when a pterodactyl had attacked him causing him to crash into an unyielding pylon on the ground. Cobra Commander had lost two of his soldiers to some creature with tentacles that pulled them underground. The collection of alien villains that he had rescued from Space Ghost's prison planet, had split into three groups, all three of which were late. The mutated alligator Leatherhead had gone to explore the swamp and marsh-like areas along with the mutated turtle Slash, an exterminator turned into a half-cockroach named Scumbug, and the Rat King who hoped to surplus his small horde of rats with some of the local variety. As for the Cybermen, they had retuned without the shrill sounding Dalek, and that the Master had no complaints about that.
General Traag, an orange silicon lifeform from Dimension X, proved to be the most reliable in organizing the groups that had remained behind and put them through their paces. He also seemed the most willing to work under the Master much to the disdain of the others. This being the case, he was made the Master's second in command
Starscream was still preening over himself as his group of Decepticons had been the first group to return after accomplishing their scouting assignment. However, the preening braggart was proving so annoying that the Master was beginning to regret placing Starscream as head of the Decepticons. But he could modify that later if he needed to. Soundwave seemed like a better candidate leader for the team anyway. The ironically quiet Decepticon followed orders to the letter without a lot of complaints. Despite that, however, the Master sensed anger from Soundwave, and believed it was because he had destroyed Megatron.
Scrapper and Scavenger of the Constructicons had built a large flat stone table out of some large boulders that had been nearby. The map was surrounded by a number of the leaders he had brought to this land - Brainiac, Lex Luthor, Krang, Cobra Commander, Skeletor and Soundwave.
"There should have been some type of evidence of their activity," Krang commented from where he sat in his human-shaped exo-suit, his pink tentacle-like arms twitching in frustration.
"Not necessarily," said Skeletor. "Underneath all this is a tunnel network that would provide the Borg with the capability of going anywhere they want without being disturbed. I've been in contact with my warriors that you sent out scouting, and upon learning of the tunnels, I had half of them go down to explore." He pointed a bony finger at a point on the map.
The Master raised an eyebrow. "In the future, Skeletor, consult with me before rerouting my scout troops."
The skeletal visage managed a frown as he clenched his fist. But Skeletor managed to contain his rage; he wasn't suicidal. He was very determined to survive this and turn the tables on this so-called Master. "Very well," he managed to say, before adding the final indignity, "Master."
Lex frowned, but Brainiac, being an android, unemotionally moved to the next subject. "There are a few old derelict space-faring vessels. Some that indicate some recent residual energy." The green skinned android pointed out the spots on the map that he was referring to. "Any of these may prove to be the work of the Borg."
"Or," added Luthor, "since the Borg seek out new technology and resources, the Borg may head to one of these spots."
"It's not necessary to speculate on where a something may or may not show up when you know where it's lair is," came a voice from the jungle. Zartan and his Dreadnoks came out of the jungle, past the startled Foot guards that Shredder had set up.
"Ah, Zartan!" exclaimed Cobra Commander, who everybody could tell was smiling behind his metal mask. "I take it you have good news for us."
Zartan said nothing as he approached the stone table. He caught the eyes of the Master before glancing down at the map. "We found your Borg friends. They are right about here." He placed a coin on a place on the map as a marker. "They are going in and out tunnels at this point and also about a kilometer down this point." He laid down a second coin.
"I told you my men were the best!" exclaimed Cobra Commander who patted the annoyed Zartan on the back.
"Excellent!" The Master turned at once to call over to Starscream. "Starscream, has Skywarp been repaired yet?"
Starscream seemed startled but quickly answered. "Almost, …Master."
"Then you will have to leave without him. Take Thundercracker, Buzzsaw and Laserbeak. Go scout this location," he pointed to the map, "from a discreet distance. Do not engage the Borg or anyone else in this area. Come back and report. You leave immediately. Is that clear?"
Starscream, not liking taking orders from a Human, liked it even less when they talked to him like he was an idiot. "I understand." He turned and went to get the others. He hadn't said Master that time. He was too busy thinking of ways to torture the upstart once he got a chance.
Meanwhile, the Master had other plans he needed to put in motion. After all, he was a Time Lord, and he knew when time was crucial.
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Mer-Man shook his head trying to clear it of the dark cobwebs that were murkier than the depths of the deepest oceans he had explored. It was only then that he realized that he was somewhere in the dark and the cobweb-like material was holding him to the side of the tunnels that he had been exploring with some of his fellow followers of Skeletor. "What… has happened?"
"An ambush," came a response.
Mer-Man recognized it as belonging to Whiplash, another of Skeletor's fighters, one who could use his long lizard-like tail to strike an enemy or smash rocks to bits. It took him a few moments to crane his neck around to see the lizard-man strung up in the same sticky substance a few yards from him. He could also see Spikor and the two-headed Two-Bad as well.
"So was only our group captured?"
Evil-Lyn had sent nine of the Evil Warriors to explore the catacomb of tunnels to look for signs of the Borg. Evidently something else had found them instead. At a split in the tunnels, Kobra Khan took the left branch with the lobster-like Clawful, the spider-like Webstor, the long armed Sssqueeze, and thankfully the odorous Stinkor.
"No sign of the others," Whiplash answered. "Thought I heard some screams echoing through the tunnel, but don't know who it was or how it turned out. For all I know, it could have been my imagination."
The air was moist, but he felt dry. He always felt dry when he wasn't in his natural element – the water. And the longer he was away from the water, the weaker he would become. "Can you use your tail to free yourself?"
"I've tried. There is some give. But our guard doesn't like it," said Whiplash, casting a look to the shadows. "I suspect they'd kill me before I can free my tail."
Mer-Man's large bulbous eyes were used to the shadowy deeps of the oceans of Eternia. Still, he almost missed the still sentry tucked onto a shelf on the wall. He suspected that it was taller when it was stretched out, but he wasn't worried about that right now. From his muddled memories, he was able to piece together that there had been two of them originally. This one bore the marks of Mer-Man's claws across its face, which made him realize his fingers felt like they had been burnt or perhaps bitten by their guard. The creature had been stabbed, perhaps fatally, by Spikor's trident-hand.
"Any ideas?" asked the very panicked blue side of Two-Bad. Two-Bad was a genetic mutant who had been born with two heads but only one body. Perhaps to differentiate them for some reason the left head and side of their body was purple while the right side of their body and head were blue. If the heads had individual names, Mer-Man had never bothered to learn them and he didn't care to do so now. The purple head of Two-Bad hung low and unconscious. Probably not something the blue head was used to.
"I need to know more," the aquatic villain said. He tried using his telepathy to call for any type of water creature to aid him but didn't receive anything useful back.
"There's the sentry," Two Bad said.
"I already told him that!" snapped Whiplash.
"Is there just one sentry guarding us?" asked Mer-Man.
"No," answered Whiplash.
"How many more have you seen?"
"No, you misunderstand." Whiplash looked down at the tunnel floor. "The sentry also protects the eggs. The thing that laid them is a larger version of that sentry creature. She pulled herself back down the tunnel laying more eggs as she went."
Along the floor were over a dozen eggs, though a few seemed to have already opened.
Mer-Man looked at the webbing holding him again. "So this is more like a cocoon to hold us until the hatchlings come out to consume us."
"I think not," said Whiplash.
"Why not?"
"I was awake when two of them opened up."
"Ohmanohmanohmanohman!" Two-Bad's right head ranted.
"Two hatchlings came out and sprang onto the heads of Spikor and Two-Bad's left side. After about an hour the hatchlings fell off and died."
"So we are incompatible foodstuff for them, right?" asked Mer-Man, who was hoping to hear something that he'd like. Perhaps they would be permitted to leave once they freed themselves.
"I think not," repeated Whiplash. "Can you see the body below you?"
Mer-Man strained against the webbing and he could hear a hiss coming from the sentry. Whiplash was right; it didn't like them messing with the webbing. Despite the webbing material painfully pulling on the two fins on either side of his head, he did manage to see the body below him encased in the same resin-cocoon material. It looked like a lizard-like humanoid, different than the stock that Whiplash came from. And it had had large, dark eyes. But the most noticeable thing was that its chest cavity had been torn open – from the inside.
"I'm not understanding. What happened to him?"
"I think one of those hatchlings put something in them," explained Whiplash. "Something that grew or incubated inside them, before-"
"Ohmanohmanohmanohman!" bemoaned the right head of Two-Bad.
Mer-Man shook his head again. "So, it's better that we leave sooner than later."
Just then, one of the Xenomorph eggs began opening like a demonic flower. A long-legged crab-like thing slowly crawled out and seemed to examine the tunnel walls.
"Ohmanohmanohmanohman!"
The facehugger leapt up and landed on Two-Bad's right head; it's tail coiling around his neck. It planted itself on his protesting face and then became still. Slowly the facehugger began to withdrawal itself. Two-Bad coughed as he began to convulse slightly.
"I thought you said it stayed on for an hour?" whispered Mer-Man, as he watch the macabre scene.
"I think it sensed the already incubating creature in Two-Bad's body."
The aquatic servant of Skeletor didn't like the possibilities that presented. "Which means what exactly?"
For an answer, the facehugger launched itself straight at him. Mer-Man managed to find a reserve of strength to free one of his arms and grab it with his webbed hand. But even so it had already wrapped its tail around its neck and was choking the life out of him for not complying with its need. He could also sense that the sentry was coming. Not that it mattered as Mer-Man's perception seemed to grow dark and cold even as he felt something start to move down his throat.
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Cha-Ka and Alf slowly pulled back some of the large palm leaves in order to discreetly look out at the battle raging a couple of dozen yards away. Will Robinson popped his head between theirs and his jaw fell in amazement. The robot hung back just behind them.
"What? What do you see?" whispered Dr. Zachary Smith, who waited several feet behind them and peeked out from behind a large tree.
"Fight," said Cha-Ka.
"I know that, you blithering hairball!" he hissed. "I meant who is fighting who and why?"
"Hey, Smith, why don't you go out there and take a census? You could find out a lot more answers that way," retorted Alf. He had taken a liking to Cha-Ka and was feeling protective of the lad. Plus, Smith was annoying him.
"I've never seen them before," said Will.
That wasn't enough for the good doctor. "Are they Human? Are they alien? Are they robots? Or something else altogether?" snapped Dr. Smith.
Alf glanced out at the battle again. "Let's see. Yes. Yes. Yes. And I think that molten guy out there counts in the 'something else' category so… Yes, for the fourth question, too."
"What?" Curiosity getting the best of him, the older man came over and yanked a palm branch out of his way. "Oh dear. This does not bode well for us. Not well at all."
The four individuals under attack appeared to be three Humans and a humanoid robot that were defending themselves with bazooka-like weapons that fired balls of explosive energy. They currently were entrenched in an old RV vehicle that was partially buried in the ground and even had a few large roots wrapped around it.
Attacking them were an odd assortment of creatures. The most bizarre looking one was a tall, but hunched over, insect-like alien that resembled a praying mantis but with a beak instead of mandibles. It was green with purple markings. It had four arms – two with pinchers and two with hands.
Another insect-like attacker was shorter and had wings. He had large antenna, large bug eyes and a beaked mouth. He mostly swooped down on the others in an effort to keep them distracted.
An old pale woman who appeared to be Human was alternating between firing a blaster and then a projectile weapon that fired large sticky webs to entrap her targets.
There were two cat-like humanoids that appeared to be trying to get close enough to pounce on one of the trapped people but currently couldn't get close enough without getting hurt right now.
The robot attacker was almost seven feet tall and grayish-silver in color. It didn't seem to be made for maneuverability, but it did seem to be using the most intimidating weapon. However, he seemed to use it to ensure that the trapped people did not escape, which meant they wanted to take the people in the RV captive.
The most bizarre attacker appeared to be molten humanoid inside a metal suit that had been tore open in several places though the hood still remained.
Only two of the attackers appeared to be down. A large man wearing a helmet that looked like a large bucket over his head. Due to the amount of blood covering the ground underneath him, they correctly assumed him to be dead. The next body was a few yards away and had been mostly cut in half by whatever it had been hit with, leaving an intact large green head that had evidently been previously attached to a somewhat smaller body, while leaking yellowish-green blood all around.
"We should help," Will said.
Dr. Smith was aghast. "Help? We can't even be sure who will be on the willing side. Sure, the attackers have seven against four, but those bazooka weapons could turn out to be more than enough to even the odds."
Alf patted him on the arm. "I think you were supposed to say something along the lines of 'we don't know who is on the right side', right?"
Dr. Smith was adamant. "In places of lawlessness, might makes right. Besides even if we took what you said into consideration, how would we be able to tell who is in the right and who is in the wrong?"
A shout rose up from one of the attacking being- the large praying mantis. "Hurry! click Keep at least two of them alive for interrogation! click If they know something useful, the Master may give us more worlds to rule! click More races to enslave or exterminate at our whim!"
"Bad!" Cha-Ka said, scowling.
Alf scratched his chin. "I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I believe that the ones shooting at the guys in the RV are the bad guys."
"Be that as it may," responded Dr. Smith. "It is not us they are attacking. And I feel I should point out that we have no weapons to use against them."
"Oh, I don't know about that," said Alf as he pulled out a knife and fork from somewhere. "I think I can take one of those cat guys."
Suddenly, a man broke through the woods running as fast as he could. He ran like the hounds of hell were after him, but when they looked to see what it was…
"I think he has issues," said Alf. "I mean, to be afraid of… that? How could that hurt him?"
"But it appears to be actually chasing him," pointed out Will.
"Oh dear," mumbled Dr. Smith who had realized before the others that the running man was headed toward the attackers.
"Pardon me!" shouted the man as he barged past the pale woman.
"What?" exclaimed the Spider-Woman, her webbing having somehow missed the annoying man with the H on his forehead yet again. She turned to look at the newcomer, but he just kept running.
"Are you going to let everybody get by you, Spider-Woman?" teased Brak. "Hey, what's that coming after him?" Above them Lokar laughed as he flew above everyone.
Instead of shooting the running man, or Brak, she turned to see a large whitish-pink balloon-like sphere that had to be about seven or eight feet wide rolling at her at a fast pace. Instinctively, she raised her blaster and fired it at the oncoming balloon.
The sphere stopped dead in its tracks and seemed to vibrate momentarily from the blast before it exploded, causing the old Spider-Woman to be knocked back a couple dozen feet into unconsciousness. Lokar, who had been flying overhead, had also been knocked out of the sky, and toward the jungle.
A young brown-haired woman jumped out of the jungle on the far end and after a brief sprint, attacked the large mantis creature, Zorak. His matter intensifier gun was knocked away where it disappeared in a small explosion even as the two began exchanging blows.
The men that had been seeking refuge in the old RV decided to push back just then. The humanoid robot moved to confront the larger robot on the bad guys' side. Words were obviously exchanged between them. When his bazooka-like weapon failed to fire, the more humanoid one of them moved forward to strike the more imposing robot who didn't even bother to raise its neutron ray. Then it retaliated by raising its own fist and struck the first robot in the head. The head popped off and its body sparked briefly before falling to the ground.
"Gosh!" said Will. "I wonder what they said?"
"Your ears are not sensitive enough for that kind of language," responded the Robinson's robot as it began to move forward through the palm branches. "But it was language that not even a robot service pit crew would use."
"Wait! What are you…?" Dr. Smith's questions were left hanging as they were left behind. "You bubble-headed booby!"
Sensing the robot's approach, Mettalus, the large evil robot turned to regard this possible new threat. "What is your purpose?"
"To serve and protect mankind," stated the Jupiter II robot.
"Bah, you are no better that that Series 4000 mechanoid I beheaded." He raised his neutron ray.
"You don't know the B9 model." The robot extended his arms and arcs of electricity shot out, striking the genocidal robot.
Mettalus shook as the strikes of energy hit him, and then began to laugh. Before the evil robot could respond in kind, a blast from behind struck it, effectively decapitating it.
"Yeah! That's what you get for hurting me mate! You don't mess with the Boyz!" Lister shouted, as he lowered his bazookoid. He reached down and picked up the head of his robot friend. "Kryten, you okay, man?"
"Fine sir. Though I do seem to be having one of those out-of-body experiences."
Lister shook his head. "Kryten, that other odd job knocked your block off. Your body's back there." Lister turned Kryten to where his body was trying to screw the decapitated head of Space Ghost foe known as the Brago into the place where Kryten's head was supposed to be.
"By the Maker! Put down that head down!" shouted Kryten shouted at his body. "It's not compatible with our system! Oh my! You're getting foreign organic matter into our neck cavity!"
Lister handed Kryten's head to Kryten's body. "Put it back on," he instructed the body. Then he turned to the Jupiter II's robot. "Thanks. We really needed a hand just then." He glanced back at the battle still going on. The brown-haired lady was still going strong against Zorak. The Cat had engaged one of the cat creatures, while the other one was being attacked by a short furry alien with a long snout, but it was the weapons that it was using that caught his attention. "Oi, is that short fellow attacking that cat creature with a knife and fork?"
"He is called Alf. He joined our party earlier today," said the robot. "And he has commented on, to paraphrase, 'a hankering for feline cuisine.'"
"He's going to eat him because he's a cat creature?" Lister's eye's widened in alarm.
"Possibly."
"Smeg! I'd better get over there!"
Arnold Rimmer was trapped by the Moltar the lava creature. It taunted him as it drew near. Rimmer knew that he could resort to being a soft-light hologram instead or a hard-light hologram, but that would put the Light bee that generated his image at greater risk. While in the hard-light form he was close to indestructible, the heat generated by this molten monster was most likely enough to destroy the Light bee and thus kill him again, and Rimmer was a coward thru and thru. He wasn't ready to die again.
"The others can take prisoners if they want," said Moltar. "I prefer burning them to a crisp."
Rimmer backed up into a corner.
A clay ball hit and struck Moltar on the back of his suit. "What?" He turned to see the Paku Cha-Ka running away. He didn't see the three glowing crystals – red, blue and yellow - stuck in the clay on his back. Suddenly a massive electrical shock came from the three crystals, causing the lava man to be thrown forward. Hurting, he staggered away into the jungle, leaving a smoldering trail of burnt plants in his wake.
Brak and his brother Sisto, seeing the advantage swinging to the other team, turned and ran, abandoning their opponents. Zorak, almost gaining the advantage over his Human female opponent, had to leap away into the trees as Lister tried shooting him with his bazookoid.
After everybody began dusting themselves off, introductions started.
"So," said Lister, "what's a lady with your moves doing running around the woods?"
She gave half a laugh. "Is that how you introduce yourself to all the ladies? With a poor line like that?"
"Naw, usually I'd just offer to buy 'em a lager and hope all they want to eat is stale pretzels," he responded.
The Cat looked peeved. "Hey, monkey-boy. Back off. I saw the lady first." He spun around and approached her. "And as for your moves, take it from a professional, they were f-i-i-i-n-n-e." He started to purr.
"Hello, my dear. I am Arnold Rimmer. The highest-ranking officer of the starship Red Dwarf," he began, sticking out his chest as if in pride.
"Rimmer, you're only the Second Technician. That's the second-lowest class on the entire ship," butted in Lister
"Well, with everyone else dead on the ship and you being the Third Technician that makes me the highest-ranking person on the ship, you git!" His nostrils flared menacingly. "Now I'm pulling rank so smeg off!" He turned to address the young woman again with a smile.
"Rimmer," Lister said quietly. "Alien."
"What! Where?" Lister pointed to Alf who was trying to skin the tail that he had taken off of Brak. Rimmer, starting to hyperventilate, hurried over to finally have solid proof of the existence of aliens, not counting the ones they had just fought off.
"Well, that takes care of Field Goal Head," said the Cat, referring to H emblem on Rimmer's forehead. "So why don't you tell us your name, kitten?" He flashed his large feline incisors.
"Uh, I'm Max. Max Guevera. Not sure how I got here. I was trying to outrun a rape gang in the soggier side of Seattle when-"
"Rape gang?" repeated a wide-eyed Will as he approached with Cha-Ka.
Everyone looked awkward, but Max managed to say something. "Let's just say that not every place is nice, and some places have more than their share of bad people making things worse for others." She moved on before Will could ask anything else. She had seen the sheltered look in his eyes and did not want to be the one to explain any more of the harsh realities of the world with him. "Anyway, I ducked into this odd-looking doorway which closed behind me and then I was in this room with a display tray of large crystals that glowed."
"Hey! We were in something like that, too!" exclaimed Will.
"Us, too," said Lister. "Lights started flaring and next thing you know the bloody door reappears and you are walking into Nightmare in Wonderland, right?"
"Something like that," she said with a smile. "So where on Earth are we?"
Will looked awkwardly at Lister. "I don't think we are on Earth. At least, I didn't start out on Earth."
"Us either," admitted Lister. "Whatever it is that brought us here most likely picked us up from different time periods and possibly alternate realities, too."
"Now I'm serious," said the Cat, stepping in front of Max. "You guys gotta go find your own ladies, because she has just found the star of her love life." He angrily hissed at the others.
"Cat!" Lister looked stern and just a little embarrassed.
Max was a little taken aback by the behavior. "Why is his name Cat?"
"Well, you see, because he's the descendant of my pregnant cat, Frankenstein. She had a litter in the bowels of our ship, the Red Dwarf. And to make a long story short-"
"Too late, monkey boy," said the Cat, looking bored. "You like my lapels?" He twirled around for Max and let out a soft cat howl.
"-I was placed in suspended animation, a radiation leak killed the crew, three million years later I'm let out by the ship's computer and meet him. Been taking care of him, too. Feel responsible since the rest of people up and left him before I got out." He was playing on her heartstrings hoping to spark anything. "I'm Lister by the way." He flashed his own smile at her, and silently wished he'd showered sometime in the last week.
"You take care of me? You can't even dress yourself properly! If it wasn't for Kryten, you wouldn't even ever have clean clothes! Such as they are!" snapped the Cat. Will smirked after taking a look at Lister's clothes which showed food stains from the last week. Cha-Ka grinned too, but he didn't know what they were amused about.
"Wait! Wait! Wait! He's evolutions answer to what a cat will be in the future?" asked Will in disbelief.
Lister looked Cat up and down as the evolved feline spun around for effect. "Yeah, I suppose you could call him that. Though all the inbreeding left him a little soft in the melon."
"Don't listen to him, baby. He jealous of the real deal that is me." Cat leaned close to her. "And tonight this deal could be yours." He gave her his best incisor smile again.
"No deal." She pushed him back and turned to the others. "I think I know what he's reacting to." She sighed, "I'm transgenic."
Lister took a step back. "What? You were a guy? No way?"
"That's transgender," pointed out Will. "A transgenic is someone or something that has had its DNA combined with the DNA of different species."
"I have feline DNA in me."
"I'll say you do," said the Cat as he rubbed his shoulder against hers, purring. "Would you like a little more?"
She pushed Cat away. "It was part of a military operation to create super-soldiers." She let out a sigh. "I don't suppose you could call him off?"
Lister raised his hands in a hopeless gesture. "I've been trying. But I think you are the first female that he been around since he's reached puberty that smells anything like his kind."
"How about having him fixed?" She snarled at the Cat who briefly leapt away.
"Ark! Ark!" cried Cha-Ka, who had evidently moved over to where the robot of the Jupiter II and Kryten were examining the inside of the half-buried RV. Dr. Smith was there as well looking on with interest.
Will choose to leave the adults to their possibly grown-up conversation though he wasn't sure it could be called that since it wasn't exactly being conducted in a grownup manner. "What is it, Cha-Ka?"
"Ark, Will! Ark!" The young Paku jumped up and down as he pointed to the RV, which would have looked larger if it wasn't half buried in dirt and overgrown with vegetation.
"Robot, what can you tell me about this vehicle?"
"Analysis is sketchy at best. This vehicle was built to travel over rough terrain. Visual evidence indicates that there was a small laboratory on board. The barely legible name painted on the side of the vehicle is 'Ark II'."
"Well, well, another possible puzzle piece. Will it be something useful or just another roadblock?" Dr. Smith twiddled his thumbs as Kryten struggled to clear more of the vegetation out of the way.
"Before we were attacked," Kryten began. "I had managed to restore power to the computers on board. They are very primitive and I'm afraid most of the data they contained has been damaged. But I did learn that it had been used by a team to rebuild civilization back on Earth after some catastrophe."
"Ark!" exclaimed Cha-Ka. "Ark cora apakuni!" He pointed at the RV again. "Ark save everyone! Old story! Much old!"
"The soil sediment would indicate that it was washed here in a flood," said the robot. "Possibly a thousand to two thousand years ago."
"Excuse me," said a polite British male voice. "But could someone please tell me what is going on?"
"Oh, dear," said Dr. Smith, and took a step back.
Will, seeing the blood on the man's forehead, pulled a clean cloth out of his pocket and hurried over. "Sit down, mister, and we'll have a look at your forehead."
The man did, literally, on the ground, with Will's help.
"All I remember is running from Rover, whatever that is, and then flying through the air."
Will applied the cloth carefully to the man's forehead." What's your name, mister?"
"Uh, my name? Number Six, I think." He paused and shook his head. "No, that can't be right. I don't think I know what it is."
"Curiousier and curiousier," commented Dr. Smith, with an air of annoyance.
To be Continued!
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Original AuThOr'S NoTeS: 9/26/2007
Okay, people. I've been under a lot of medication lately so if things are a little off, I'm blaming it on that. Next time I post will include the current happenings of Q2's team. Also, the Predators attack another group. Fun!
Okay, I was trying to give everyone a feel for what's going on with the Master and hint at a few things. Besides, I wanted to show everybody that I had not forgotten him.
Some of Skeletor's exploration team found more than they meant to. It also builds on the looming Alien threat. Makes it all that harder to predict what will happen next.
I'm just using the RV as a reference point, as well as to build a little background history for the Land of the Lost. I used the Space Ghost villains because many of them had been brought back in the Space Ghost Coast to Coast series, so they are no longer as obscure as they used to be. I remember them from the re-runs in the 70's.
As for the Red Dwarf crew, I've been trying to figure out a way to use them for ages. Loved the show and would love to have it start again. If you haven't seen the Red Dwarf TV series, then I really recommend it. It's a British Sci-Fi comedy and is rather witty, sometimes in a crude way, but funny. I wish I owned the entire series.
I brought in Max reluctantly, but I am glad I did.
Most people will not know about ARK II, so I am putting a summary here. It was a Saturday morning live action show.
ARK II (1976 – 1979) - After Earth has been devastated by years of pollution and nuclear war, a group of scientists send out a team of young people as well as an intelligent chimpanzee to seek out the surviving pockets of human beings in order to help rebuild civilization. They traveled in a futuristic six-wheeled combination RV and mobile laboratory. Also, as they meet these people, they take time to teach them valuable life lessons along the way.
Updated AuThOr'S NoTeS: 1-18-2022
The Master's army are getting frustrated but towing the line for the moment. Anyone think that the Master can keep that crowd of riffraff from trying to rebel? Yeah, me neither.
Meanwhile, Mer-Man and company have had a very lethal close encounter. And now the Xenomorph aliens are setting up camp.
Now the encounters at the RV are useful. First a battle scene. If people do not know about Red Dwarf, I highly recommend finding some episodes to watch. There is usually a few to be found on youtube.
Max comes from just a few decades in the future and was part of a group of genetically-enhanced children being trained for military service. She escapes a now lives in a post-apocalyptic Pacific Northwest in a messenger service, trying to hide from those that seek her, while also trying to seek to learn what had been done to her and if any of the other kids survived.
Number 6 is from a unique show called The Prisoner. He is a secret agent that resigns. He is kidnapped and placed on an island with a small town called The Village. The place is populated by other kidnapped agents and other government officials who have all had their name taken away and given a number.
ChArAcTeR InDeX FoR ThE ChApTeR:
'Alf' / Shumway, Gordon (Paul Fusco) – from the TV series ALF (1986-1990)
Brainiac of Earth-1 (voiced by Ted Cassidy) – from the cartoon Challenge of the Super-Friends(1978), (voiced by Stanley Ralph Ross) – Super Friends (1983), SuperFriends: The Legendary Super Powers Show (1984), The Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians (1985), from DC Comics Action Comics #242 (1958)
Brak (voiced by Keye Luke) – from the cartoon Space Ghost (1966)
Buzzsaw (voiced by Frank Welker) – from the cartoon The Transformers (1985) (mentioned only)
The Cat (Danny John-Jules) – from the TV series Red Dwarf (1988-1993, 1997, 1999, 2009, 2012)
Cha-Ka (Philip Paley) – from the TV series Land of the Lost (1974-1976)
Clawful (voiced by Lou Scheimer) – from the cartoon He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1983-1985) (mentioned only)
Cobra Commander (voiced by Chris Latta) – from the cartoon G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (1983), G.I. Joe: The Revenge of Cobra (1984), G.I. Joe: Arise, Serpentor, Arise! (1986), G.I. Joe (1985-1986), G.I. Joe (1990-1992)
Cybermen – from the TV series Doctor Who (mentioned only)
Dalek – from the TV series Doctor Who (mentioned only)
Evil-Lyn (Linda Gary) – from the cartoon He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1983-1985) (mentioned only)
Gorilla Grodd of Earth-1 (voiced by Stanley Ralph Ross) – from the cartoon Challenge of the Super-Friends (1978), Super Friends (1983), from DC Comics Flash #106 (1959) (mentioned only)
Guevera, Max (Jessica Alba) – from the TV series Dark Angel (2000-2002)
Kobra Khan (voiced by Lou Scheimer) – from the cartoon He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1984-1985) (mentioned only)
Krang (voiced by Pat Fraley) – from the cartoon Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987-1996)
Kryten (Robert Llewellyn) – from the TV series Red Dwarf (1989-1993, 1997, 1999, 2009, 2012)
Laserbeak (voiced by Frank Welker) – from the cartoon The Transformers (1984-1986), the movie The Transformers: The Movie (1986) (mentioned only)
Leatherhead (voiced by Jim Cummings) – from the cartoon Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987-1996) (mentioned only)
Lister, Dave (Craig Charles) – from the TV series Red Dwarf (1988-1993, 1997, 1999, 2009, 2012)
Lokar, King of the Killer Locusts – from the cartoon Space Ghost (1966)
Luthor, Lex of Earth-1 (voiced by Stan Jones) – from the cartoon Challenge of the Super-Friends (1978), The World's Greatest SuperFriends (1979), SuperFriends: The Legendary Super Powers Show (1984), from DC Comics Adventure Comics #271 (1960)
The Master – from the TV series Doctor Who
Megatron (voiced by Frank Welker) – from the cartoon The Transformers (1984-1987), the movie The Transformers: The Movie (1986) (mentioned only)
Mer-Man (voiced by Alan Oppenheimer) – from the cartoon He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1983-1985)
Mettalus (voiced by Ted Cassidy) – from the cartoon Space Ghost (1966)
Number Six (Patrick McGoohan) – from the TV series The Prisoner (1967-1968)
Rat King (voiced by Townsend Coleman) – from the cartoon Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987-1996) (mentioned only)
Rimmer, Arnold Judas (Chris Barrie) – from the TV series Red Dwarf (1988-1993, 1997, 1999, 2009, 2012)
Robinson, Will (Bill Mumy) – from the TV series Lost in Space (1965-1968)
The Robot / Robot B-9 (Bob May / voiced by Dick Tufeld) – from the TV series Lost in Space (1965-1968)
Rover – from the TV series The Prisoner (1967-1968)
Scarecrow of Earth-1 / Crane, Jonathan (Ted Knight) – The Batman/Superman Hour (1968), (Don Messick) – from the cartoon Challenge of The Super-Friends (1978), (Andre Stojka) – The Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians (1985), from DC Comics World's Finest #3 (1941) (mentioned only)
Scavenger (Don Messick) – from the cartoon The Transformers (1984-1987), the movie The Transformers: The Movie (1986) (mentioned only)
Scrapper (Michael Bell) – from the cartoon The Transformers (1984-1987), the movie The Transformers: The Movie (1986) (mentioned only)
Shredder (voiced by James Avery) – from the cartoon Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987-1996)
Sinestro of Earth-1 / Sinestro, Thaal (voiced by Vic Perrin) – from the cartoon Challenge of the Super-Friends (1978), Super Friends (1983), from DC Comics Green Lantern #7 (1961) (mentioned only)
Sisto – from the cartoon Space Ghost (1966)
Skeletor (voiced by Alan Oppenheimer) – from the cartoon He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1983-1985), She-Ra: Princess of Power (1985)
Skywarp (Frank Welker) – from the cartoon The Transformers (1984-1986) (mentioned only)
Slash (voiced by Pat Fraley) – from the cartoon Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987-1996) (mentioned only)
Smith, Dr. Zachary (Jonathan Harris) – from the TV series Lost in Space (1965-1968)
Soundwave (voiced by Frank Welker) – from the cartoon The Transformers (1984-1987), the movie The Transformers: The Movie (1986)
Space Ghost (Gary Owens) – from the cartoon Space Ghost (1966), Space Stars' Space Ghost' (1981) (mentioned only)
The Spider-Woman / Black Widow (voiced by Ginny Tyler) – from the cartoon Space Ghost (1966)
Spikor (voiced by Lou Scheimer) – from the cartoon He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1985), She-Ra: Princess of Power (1985)
Sssqueeze (voiced by Brian Dobson) – from the cartoon He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1985) (mentioned only)
Starscream (voiced by Chris Latta) – from the cartoon The Transformers (1984-1987), the movie The Transformers: The Movie (1986)
Stinkor (voiced by Brian Drummond) – from the cartoon He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (2002) (mentioned only)
Thundercracker (voiced by John Stephenson) – from the cartoon The Transformers (1984-1986) (mentioned only)
Traag, General (voiced by Peter Renaday) – from the cartoon Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987, 1993)
Two-Bad (voiced by Lou Scheimer) – from the cartoon He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1985)
Webstor (voiced by John Erwin) – from the cartoon He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1985) (mentioned only)
Whiplash (voiced by John Erwin) – from the cartoon He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (1984-1985)
Xenomorphs – from the movie Alien (1979), Aliens (1986), Alien³ (1992), Alien: Resurrection (1997), AVP: Alien Vs. Predator (2004), Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)
Zartan (voiced by Zack Hoffman) – from the cartoon G.I. Joe: The Revenge of Cobra (1984), G.I. Joe: Arise, Serpentor, Arise! (1986), G.I. Joe (1985-1986)
Zorak (voiced by Don Messick) – from the cartoon Space Ghost (1966)