CHAPTER 13

The Core

ACTIVATION SEQUENCE READY: AWAITING PRIMARY INPUT COMMAND_

Tali reread the message on the control panel over and over again, her head a swirling mix of anxiety, anticipation and dread. Alone, she stood in front of the drive core command console, nervously waiting for Adams to give her the all clear to perform one more startup sequence.

After spending some time walking off the brandy, and running a few of her suits' built-in toxin filter programs in a futile attempt to stave off the oncoming hangover, Tali had made her way back to the engineering deck to once again bring the ship's engines back online. It took several good attempts of cajoling the Normandy's chief engineer, but to her amazement, she somehow managed to convince him that not only was she fit to work, but that she had a decent plan.

In truth, she had Garrus to thank for the idea. The Normandy was unlike any other frigate that had ever come before. Not just because it had a state-of-the-art stealth system, but because it had an experimental and oversized drive core that required a disproportionate amount of power to function. While the Normandy's reactors were operational, they had been damaged in the crash, and without replacement parts they could only function at a limited capacity. Giving just enough power to run some of the ship's essential systems, such as navigation and life support, but not enough to power the engines.

Tali had tried to circumvent this by drawing power or outright deactivating other systems to give more energy to the starved drive core, but so far, none of it had worked. However, there was one thing she hadn't considered, and Tali kicked herself for not thinking of it sooner.

The shuttle.

Much like the Normandy, the ship's last remaining shuttle had sustained significant damage. The clamps that typically held it in place broke in the crash, and it flew across the hangar bay before slamming hard against the bulkhead. Tali had initially overlooked it, doubting that it could be fixed within a reasonable amount of time. But she underestimated Cortez' skill and dedication. Something she swore never to do again.

After running a few quick calculations and rough simulations, she managed to convince Adams not to disassemble the shuttle for the mining op, but to instead patch it into the Normandy's subsystems. Her hope was that the Normandy could essentially "piggy back" off of the shuttle's reactor, and get enough power to finally bring the drive core back to life.

But this plan was not without its dangers. The drive core's synchronizers were dangerously unstable, and if they were unlucky, the feedback from the drive core's ignition could overload the safety systems on the shuttle, and cause it to trigger a chain reaction. And if that were to happen... neither ship would be able to get off world until help arrived.

There were some reservations among the engineering team about using the shuttle in such a manner. They tended to get that way whenever Tali offered to perform some obscure repair to the Normandy she had learned from patching up ships in the Migrant Fleet. But Tali did her best to assure them that it was their last viable option. Adams agreed to the plan, but on the condition that he gets the final say on safety parameters, and can kill the project in the event he finds it too risky to proceed.

Tali happily agreed, even though she knew she really had no choice in the matter.

"Alright, Tali. Everything is in position in the hangar. How are things on your end?" her comms finally rang with Engineer Adams' steadfast voice. Tali took a few seconds to once again carefully look over the cabling that connected the Normandy's drive core to the shuttle in the hangar bay.

"Everything looks good up here," she reported back over her comms. "Am I free to proceed?"

"Yes, proceed as planned. I'll keep an eye on the power levels over here. If it gets high enough to the point of threatening the shuttle's reactor, I'm cutting the connection. Understood?"

"Yes… understood."

"Good. Daniels and Donnelly are at their stations. We are ready on your mark."

Instinctively she reached for the keyboard, to do what her fingers had done a thousand times, but she froze, her hand hovering inches away from its target.

You're scared… that's it, isn't it? Garrus' words rippled through her consciousness, bringing a myriad of uncomfortable feelings and memories bubbling to the surface. She scowled from behind her mask. Tali had at first felt anger toward Garrus for even suggesting such a thing. Her retreat to the lounge, in her mind at least, had been to simply get some rest. To get away from everything and everyone so she could fully recover from her injuries in peace. But a feeling of guilt washed over her, and her scowl evaporated.

She had lingered in the lounge. For much longer than she truly needed. The brandy bottle was never part of her plan, but when she discovered it, Tali had latched onto it and the comfort it promised. As much as it pained her to admit, Garrus may have been right.

Now all she felt… was shame. Shame that she had let her fears take the better of her. Shame that she had abandoned her duties, nearly abandoned the rest of the crew, to selfish despair. She was better than that, and she knew it.

But out of all those, nothing stung her more than the idea that she had nearly abandoned… him.

"Almost time for the final push," she nodded to Shepard as he stepped up beside her. "Are you ok?"

The two of them stood side by side in front of a broken window at the rendezvous point. The vast ruin of London spread before them as far as the eye could see. And at the far end of the city, shining juxtaposed in an astonishingly bright light, was their target: the Conduit.

"I thought I'd be asking you that," he murmured looking out the window, his tired eyes absorbing the destruction left by the Reapers.

"Shepard, I backed you when I was just a kid on her Pilgrimage. I backed you when the Normandy was a Cerberus ship… Wherever you go, I'm with you," she answered softly. "And you didn't answer my question. Are you ok?"

Refusing to push it off any longer, she deftly tapped in the proper start up commands and kept her eyes glued to the display.

POWER UP SEQUENCE INITIALIZED - STAND BY…

Once again, the lights in the room flickered on, and the familiar static and distortion from the core began rippling through the air.

10%

Throughout her body she could feel the core slowly rumble to life. Humming audibly as it continued to draw more and more power.

25%

Shepard kept his gaze fixed toward the burning horizon, to the blue beam that was their target. "Seeing Earth like this…" he sighed painfully, "Remember how you felt when you landed on Rannoch? Now imagine its not a story passed down by your people. Imagine you were there just a few months ago…"

"And now you're seeing it like this…" she whispered, sympathetically.

"We need to put it right…" he said, voice heavy with desperation.

She studied the commander's face as he looked out the window. He seemed determined, but there was something about him that felt… off. There was a haunted look in his eyes, an uncertainty that Tali did not recognize in him. She hated seeing it, and tried to think of a way to fix it.

45%

The hum that rattled the equipment in the room soon steadied, and became a rhythmic pulse.

"We will… Do you remember what we said on Rannoch? Just before you took down that Reaper?" she asked in a gentle voice.

"You said 'If we don't make it'..." he reminded her, almost dismissively.

Tali frowned. "And you said... I worried too much," she admitted with a gloomy sigh, thinking that Shepard was too far deep in the mission to understand what she had intended to say.

65%

The distortion surrounding the drive core became more and more prominent as the pulse quickened its pace.

A sudden lurch in the engine room nearly knocked Tali off her feet. She quickly poured over the messages flying across her screen on the console searching for the culprit: an unexpected energy surge. Frantically, Tali entered command after command into the console in a desperate attempt to mitigate it.

"Shuttle reactor is heating up," chimed Adams over the comm link. "Its inching close to the danger zone. Stand by."

She turned away from Shepard and looked out the window, trying to think of something that might bring him back to her. But she blinked in surprise as she felt an armored hand press softly against the lower part of her mask, and gently turn her until they could look each other in the eyes. Even through her visor, he always managed to find her eyes.

"And then you said… I love you," he reassured, in a soft, compassionate voice. The haunted look that had made him so unrecognizable had disappeared, and she once again saw the human she loved.

90%

The whole of the engineering room began to shake as the drive core became more and more alive. Tali gripped the control panel tightly, heart pounding in anticipation and terror as she watched the progress bar surpass all previous attempts.

"And you said… Keelah se'lai," she breathed affectionately.

Slowly, Tali reached up and took hold of his hand still resting against her mask.

"I want more time…" she grieved, squeezing firmly. She felt his other hand come to rest on her shoulder and pull her close enough until his face was only inches away from hers.

"I know," he whispered gently. "Whatever happens…"

The ruin and destruction surrounding them seemed to all but disappear, and for too brief a moment, it was just the two of them. A moment that she found herself wishing would never end.

"I know…"

100%

POWER UP SEQUENCE COMPLETE - STAND BY FOR SYSTEM DIAGNOSTIC SWEEP…

The engineering deck abruptly ceased its rumbling and shaking. The lights no longer flickered on and off erratically and were now effortlessly illuminating the room in their usual manor. The pulse from the drive core grew steady and strong.

"Holy crap..." croaked Kenneth Donnelly over the shared comm. "Normandy's lightin up across the board... She's… she's alive!"

Adams was equally astounded. "The shuttle's reactor is… stable. Power readings are leveling off!"

Tali held her breath as she poured over the diagnostic reports that were flashing across her screen, each one confirming that the restart had been successful, that both the Normandy's and the shuttle's reactors were working in near perfect unison, and best of all, the drive core was stable.

She could hear a loud commotion coming from the decks above and around the engine room. Unbeknownst to her, some of the crew had gathered to watch at the view ports that opened up into the drive core's chamber, each of them throwing their fists in the air, cheering ecstatically that the Normandy had been brought back to life.

But Tali ignored them, her attention held captive by the drive core, and its pulse. She had never heard a more beautiful sound in her life, and she found each one to be more soothing to her than any song.

She finally took a deep, relieving breath before closing her eyes, and whispered so that only she and the core could hear.

"Whatever happens…"