(Italics: Intrusive thoughts/past)

War was nothing more than a cruel creation of the mind. No sane person would wish for the sights seen in war. The blood dripping off the fathers, sons, warriors of those held closest.

She could remember the first time she had known what fear felt like as well. The whispers throughout the town rang high and low. The ring bearer was in Mordor, just one throw and the hatred of men would cease.

But it was not her concern for the hobbit, or the raids in her town. She always hated the louder noises of the town, the clanging, blicering, everything that clearly displayed the disputes of the town.

The hoofs rang clear in her mind though. One of one so pure and untainted, she felt as high as the sky flying. The brown stallion stood idly as he appeared. One could say he was the definicion of the beauty of men.

He would always gallop around the town, with his dashing hair-dos and prim cut clothes. Always with a smile, that enlightening smile.

Of course, throughout her pre-pubescent years she paid no attention to such a display. She'd say this but always gather with the school children as they gaped and gauced. She never understood this action but maybe, if she acted like the rest she'd be allowed to be friends with the others. Just be normal.

But day after day she couldn't do anything without questioning its meaning. Maybe day after day she grew tired and ventured as she dreamed.

It was only a walk. Yet she basked in the wind, the freedom to roam as she pleased. She would always look out and see her town. For once it was quiet and finally she would be able to read and stop smiling without judgment.

That spot that would come to be the place where she would suddenly disappear without a trace.

She had known exactly when and where everyone would be after time. She knew exactly where her mother would go at night and till when. Exactly when the children would know she'd be there just to have an alibi. So she ran again, running past the borders to that spot. Yet she knew time after time, someone would eat and stay in her sanctuary when she wasn't there.

And as her typical self, she planned to stay away from such an individual. Except the single time she hadn't. To be fair it was late and she…she couldn't remember why but she had run. And had stumbled into the small home and wept till nothing but tears covered her face.

Those arms felt soft. Like home.

Her mind would wander but his arms never chained her to reality. He allowed her to bloom in his light. So pure.

Despite his training, he was…soft. He wouldn't rough-house with her as a brother but absolutely didn't hold the figure of a father. At first, all they'd do is read together and occasionally he would hum as soft as the breeze that would wisp her to sleep. But as the leaves changed, he with her permission had combed her hair and soon they had started to mingle.

He always held her with such care.

"I need to talk to you about something important," Before the winds would turn and push her,

"I'll be there." He held her hand and she would stand tall as the oaks around them.

They never forgot the tender moments where the both could open their fëa. But he stuttered under the weight of their pasts.

So that day came. And for once she doubted that neither of them, forgot that, the world would forgive her if they knew. You don't deserve it.

So perhaps, she pleaded with the gods that her heart would be locked in her chest, with nothing left to feel. No one had to learn of that night. She only had to save this world.

Then she could be worthy. Enough.

"Just take one step forward." She pleaded.

Why couldn't she move? It felt like her mind was rendered to its knees. She couldn't control this.

"Just take one step,"

No. And that image dissipated at that. She had to focus.

The rush in her cheeks were apparent, it felt so warm while the rest of her limbs felt as if they were swimming.

Looking past that fright, she could only stare at this woman. In her armor, almost, dare she assume desperate for her to respond.

Thomp. Thomp. Do this.

Her ears were bombarded with the disarrage of sounds. Too loud. Too bright. Too pure.

Stop. Enough. Stop.

She pleaded forward, her eyes casted past the war to that portal. She couldn't protect them. So she had to just make one more step.

"Take my hand!" It was suffocating.

She couldn't feel anything yet her mind ran and finally the limbs she called legs ran into her arms.

Wrapping her arms around the woman, the pounding of her chest slowed. It was warm. The only thing she could ever want in this cold forbidding place. Not only in Jotunheim.

Perhaps the goddess had felt her go limp in her arms, or maybe she had imagined it. But her heart leaped as she felt her hug the little moral in her arms and jump for her.

One…two…three. Open.

Suddenly, a sharp blast cut through her back. A blisening pain shot through her and she recoiled into her legs. Open, god damnit.

The light was blinding. She knew she wasn't in that ice rock land anymore. Yet it didn't help her panic.

"Assess your wounds."

"I'm no fool, you babbling idiot! I only broke my wrist."

"When in danger,"

"Assess the pain, determine the location, and find a safe route. You've told me this."

No…no something was missing.

"Assess the pain, determine the location, and find a safe route. You've told me this."

Assess. She sharply turned herself and shoved herself away from the noise. It hurt near her shoulder blades. You deserve it.

The only thing she could do was stare blindly at the newer place as she recoiled. The walls tittered over her head, the walls sunk into darkness around her once the light could not reach its depths.

She had never been hurt this badly. Even though she had lived around the outskirts of battle, she never had been physically hurt as so.

It's blinding. Determine…she couldn't reach her back so yes, thank you Talen.

The rattles of metals caught her eye. Every yelp, scream, scratch, crawled against her senses mercifully. The labyrinth of such a maze haunted her. Safe route…she could run. Yet something felt wrong about it and it certainly wasn't the blood rush and back pain she was running on.

At once Hayla rushed towards her side, barling over.

"At last I've found the little one," She breathed, briskly she reached over and uncapped a balm type of fluid.

"I thought we were safe." Hayla glared slightly but had rushed to turn her over.

She didn't retaliate.

Slowly her mind realized the movement and tried to shove the women away.

"What in Eru are you doing!" Nevermind the war field around her, not even the shots fired, she was not about to blush like a maiden in front of her.

Hayla's hair ran over the both of them, so light compared to the vast darkness. It dripped as if a fountain, shielding them from the chaos.

"I'll be right behind you darling." Stop it. Not today.

Face to face. Hayla dipped down and softly whispered in her ear. She had to have stopped breathing. But for her, maybe it didn't hurt so badly.

On the other hand, her back hurt tremendously.

"Are you listening?" No

"I'm sorry, Hayla." Stop fumbling around you fool! This is serious!

Her chest stopped as her skin lit up like fire. So cold. Worthless fool.

Those eyes softened but worked to maneuver the small one underneath her. The glistening shine of her armor consumed her sight. It was quiet yet again.

"I'm going to turn you over to reach your wound. I only could apply something to numb the pain. Then I am going to carry you to a stronghold where you will stay put," Oh please- "Then you may gain your sleep in my care."

Such gray eyes. Speaking of it, her skin held a blue undertone as if she had been freezing. Though it didn't take away from her beauty.

Against her will, she gaped and she could feel her cheeks become warm. Regardless of the sight, she had to remind herself of the battle not even a mile from them.

At that, she felt herself turn over. Provided she may have elbowed Hayla, she propped her arm as comfort as she felt the robe she was encased in ripped to reveal the area she had been wounded in.

She could feel something. She felt it clear as day down the side of her neck.

"Stay put just for a moment more." Please. Please. Please. Hold me.

Her breath ran hot onto her skin, it resembled the warmth of a hug. Hold me. She wished she could have this feeling more.

It burnt though, burnt as if she had poured scalding water onto the sensitive nerves.

"Hurts," she whimpered, "is it even helping!" Rapidly the pain spread to the tips of her neck. Up her scalp, down her legs. She couldn't feel anything. Couldn't control her movements.

"It is," she could hear the annoyance, "it will stop momentarily but you need to calm yourself."

The world whirled around them, unconcerned of the pair. She didn't mind, she had no choice.

And then, it stopped. Most people could recognize the blissful feeling of numbness. After, smoking, after a good day, a bar load of alcohol, maybe if you had gotten out of bed and felt the best in weeks you could feel that bliss.

She never truly minded others as such, just another part of life. She never cared about it because she could control herself regardless, perhaps even them. It pained her to be at the will of another person she had barely known. But she had done it, and to survive.

"Up we go,"

She had to put up with whatever they gave her to survive in this world.

The screams ran past her as they ran far from this war and into the suffocating darkness. She couldn't see hardly anything yet it was clear that Hayla could. With every sharp turn, she was left spinning only left with her deeper senses.

"Only a bit further." Her voice was another part she hadn't taken apart. Not quite the tone but the formality of her speech. It sounded like she spoke to a friend. What were they?

Throughout that hallway, she could see the antique portraits and art screwed around it. They were brass-like, holding a life in their own way. The flooring was strangely a type of stone or wood. Polished yet worn.

And so it be, she held onto the comfort of the lasting life surrounding her as she quivered like a fool.

The door leered over her, though it might have been her head speaking in pain. It was a tall, lean, frame of wood with a carving of a star as doors might be.

"Open the knob please. I don't have my hands free." She smirked, such a charmer.

I should fight. No. She heard the voice often. Maybe she feared it but it kept her thriving at best.

The warm embrace of her face caught her attention quickly. Her hands were warm but breath was cool.

"You need to rest. The fighting is dying out so I will stay here." She softly laughed into her hands.

"I can't afford to fail my guests as well." It felt strange seeing her without the formality. She felt almost like a friend. Almost. She's being polite, don't let yourself be tied to her.

"You fought well…you did more than I did, passed out or passed time in my head aimlessly. You tried your best."

So did you.

No! No, I didn't shut up.

She turned slightly grasping her side.

"I can't remember how but one of the men had allured me and I got injured by him,"

"She cannot move!" Stop remembering.

"I need to dress my wounds then I will change yours. Is this alright?" So soft.

It puzzled her.

"Of course it's fine. Just-your in charge, I-I don't mind."

She could feel herself shaking but regardless she held herself high as her. She wasn't ever going to that woman, cruel and disheartened no matter the occasion. But there was a time she had dared love her.

It wasn't pure and the relationship a normal mother would hold with her daughter. She remembered the time she had suggested going to school more often. It smelled like wood. The sky was dark as the night and she had noticed down the crooked stairs that she had returned. She talked with her and then…then…why was she remembering this? She never wanted to relieve either of those days.

"You're nothing more than a-" No more! Stop! It hurts.

Remember that pain. It's best to forget.

"Miss, I might not know much about you and the customs but you are allowed to choose,"

It burns…crawling out of her skin.

"If you feel something or don't want to do something. I will try my best to accommodate you. My position won't ever put your needs behind mine."

I don't want to feel this.

Haylas eyes roamed her form, slowly rummaging to reveal the gel as used earlier. And by then, she had curled onto herself and Eira…Eira's face was stained with her tears. Without a word she started to apply the cream but held a small wooden bowl of porridge in front of her.

"Please eat a little one. Just a few bits. You need it to rest and recover smoothly, it will help the effects of the herb I gave you earlier." Yet her cries wouldn't cease. Trapped in a world where only she would torture and rule her own mind.

She felt herself eat but she couldn't feel her body. She hated this feeling. She didn't fear war necessarily for its violence.

The garments of Hayla came off to where she remained in a soft black nightgown. It trailed down her legs and fitted her well. She couldn't remember when she had been tucked into the cotton sheets but she didn't care.

Slowly, she left behind the yelling in her head. She looked so beautiful laying next to her. It distracts from the conflict outside. Even though she knew she had stopped hearing the yells, she heard them inside herself.

She didn't fear war necessarily for its violence.

She was never in control during it.

Never could be at peace.

But it gave her an excuse to be upset so she didn't care about that feeling of despair. It made her thrive, not survive.

But it was enough.

"I love you, my star."

Helloo :P Ashton here as said earlier and yeaaa need feedback for some ideas.
This story:
-Should I include other POV (Point of Views) when Eira doesn't see certain scenes?

Next/Another story:
I really want to write more and would love to choose another project to work on. (ignoring some personal writing because it stresses me lol). So either I can write from other shows, scenarios, or personal work I'm okay with.

-I can write from other shows: Tokyo Ghoul (Haise &Quinx), My Hero Academia (Shigaraki, Deku), Lord of the Rings (Legolas, Eira), Star Wars (Anakin)

-Scenarios: Dying girl (like Kaori from Your Lie in April) meets elves (immortal), Lord of the Rings reacts to a goddess, Decay Quirk (Shigaraki) in Lord of the Rings

-Personal: Characters (Diera and Eira) from the Goddess and Mortal girl love one shot of my works on ao3, another story (surprise lol but it's war again), or a screenplay about struggles of daydreaming (idk might then put for school)

Just I need some guidance and I am personally a little tired rn so ya know tell me about your day and I'll do same. Oh yeah, my ex contacted me but ya know I just need some war angst and Eira to keep me awake.

Thanks for reading, please stick around :D
Signing off,
Ashton (they/them)

Here's my Wattpad and ao3 (believe they have different stories than I post here)

/users/Ashton_616/pseuds/Ashton_616

user/asano_616