Maya made her way to City Hall where the SFD fire chief's office was. She went up to the floor where his office was, not really looking forward to the conversation she was about to have.
"Chief Bishop-Deluca," the secretary said, smiling at her as she walked up, "Chief Rodriguez is just working on paperwork. He said to send you in when you got here."
"Thanks Lisa," Maya said, smiling as much as she could as she walked back to the chief's office.
She stopped outside the door, taking a deep breath before knocking.
"Come in," Chief Rodriguez called, Maya opening the door, "Chief Bishop-Deluca. Nice to see you. Have a seat."
"Thank you Chief," Maya said, biting her lip as she sat down.
"What's going on Bishop?" the chief asked, a name that many people in the department still used when referring to her without her title, "You said in your email that you needed to see me urgently. Is everything ok in your battalion?"
"Yeah," Maya said, "My battalion is fine. They are all doing great, actually. I have done inspections on 23 and 70 this week and they were both excellent. But, um, I have something more personal I need to talk to you about."
"Go ahead," the chief said, nodding.
"Um…," Maya tried to start, "Sorry. I haven't told anyone about this and it's a lot harder than I thought it was going to be."
"Is this related to why you canceled the inspection at 88 yesterday?" the chief asked, grabbing a box of tissues off his shelf, putting them within Maya's reach, seeing the tears in her eyes.
"Yeah," Maya nodded, taking a deep breath, "Um, I was getting ready to come in and do the inspection yesterday when I got a call from Carina. She had gotten back some results from a routine test and um…the results weren't normal so I spent yesterday at the hospital while she had tests run to try to sort things out and we found out yesterday that…"
Maya tried very hard to get the words out, but instead started crying, the chief coming around his desk, sitting down next to Maya.
"Take your time Maya," he said gently.
This was something that Maya truly appreciated about her boss. He didn't think emotions made people weak and he put a lot of value on family. Maya took a minute to compose herself before wiping her eyes.
"Sorry," she said, taking a deep breath, "I knew this was going to be hard, but I didn't think it was going to be this hard. Yesterday, after some tests, Carina was diagnosed with stage 1 cervical cancer."
Actually, saying those words out loud caused Maya to break down again, the chief placing a comforting hand on her back.
"Maya, whatever you need, the entire department is behind you," Chief Rodriguez said, "You and Carina and the girls."
"Thank you sir," Maya said quietly, looking at him as she wiped the tears from her cheeks, "I don't totally know what is going to happen, but Carina is having surgery next week, on the 15th, and I was hoping to take some time off to be with her. The day of the surgery for sure and then I think she will be in the hospital for two or three days so I could probably work then, but then I need to be home to help her for a few days. And then she has to recover from that for 6 weeks and then she has 8 weeks of radiation which I don't even know exactly what that entails, but I will know more soon. We have a meeting with her doctors in two days to talk more about all of this. They seem very optimistic that once all of this is done, that Carina will be fine, though."
"Bishop, take the whole week off, starting on the 14th," the chief said, "Spend time with your family. Make sure Carina is ok. Take care of those adorable girls of yours. You have plenty of vacation time."
"Thank you," Maya said, wiping at the corners of her eyes.
"Just keep me updated about when you need more time," the chief said, "And we will make it happen, ok?"
"Thank you sir," Maya said, nodding, "Thank you so much."
"I'm sorry you and your family are going through this," the chief said, "Please, let me know if there is anything we can do for you."
"Thank you," Maya said, "Oh, also, no one knows yet, apart from you, so don't say anything to anyone for the next few days. We are going to tell people; we just wanted some time to process it ourselves."
"Of course," the chief nodded. "Thank you sir," Maya said, "And thank you for being so understanding."
"Of course," the chief nodded, "Like I said, if you guys need anything, let me know, ok?"
"Will do sir," Maya said, "And I will get the inspection of 88 done as soon as I can. I have 19 tomorrow, but I will email Captain James and get their rescheduled soon."
"Sounds good," Chief Rodriguez said, "Is there anything else you need from me today?"
"No sir," Maya said, "Thank you."
"Of course," Chief Rodriguez said, "Have a good rest of your day Chief Bishop-Deluca. And like I said, whatever you and your family need, just let me know."
"Thank you Chief Rodriguez," Maya said, walking out of the office.
She headed back down to her car, sitting down in her seat before completely breaking down in tears, just sobbing. She had felt like she was on the verge of a full breakdown like this since Carina called her yesterday, but she had been trying to be strong for her wife and daughters. However, now that she was alone, it was like the floodgates flew open and she couldn't make the tears stopped. She cried for her wife who was the last person in the world who should have gotten cancer. She cried for her daughters and how hard the next few months or more were going to be for them and how confusing it was probably going to be for them.
She always thought she would be the one who would end up getting cancer. Her job made her almost 10% more likely to get cancer than the average person, but yet here she was, perfectly healthy while her wife had cancer growing inside her.
It made her so angry. She grabbed a jacket form the seat next to her, screaming into it as she continued to cry.
After a good twenty minutes, Maya finally managed to stop crying. She looked at the time, seeing it was only 3 pm.
She remembered she had a pair of running clothes in the back of the car that she meant to put in her office at work but had forgotten. She drove to a park that she liked to run in, going into the bathrooms there and changing into her running clothes. She had already run this morning, but her anxiety was intense right now and she knew tonight was going to be a difficult night, and her main priority was to make sure she was able to be strong for her wife. She ran for a long time, just trying to calm herself down.
By the time she looked down at her watch, she realized it was already almost 4 pm. She quickly made her way back to her car, checking her phone and seeing she had a few messages from her wife asking if everything was ok. She texted her back, letting her know she was on her way home. She was exhausted, but her anxiety was feeling better and she was fairly confident she would be able to make it through the evening.
She got home, walking into the house to find Carina playing with the twins in the playroom.
"Mommy," both girls said, running to her, wrapping their arms around her legs as Maya rubbed their backs.
"Bambina, you're home," Carina said, turning to see her, a frown immediately appearing on her face, "Were you out for a run?"
"Yeah," Maya nodded, biting her lip.
"Didn't you run this morning?" Carina said, getting up as the twins went back to their toys.
"Yeah," Maya said, nodding, "But I just…I felt like I needed another run before Andrew and Mason come over."
Carina sighed, wanting desperately to sit down with her wife and talk through everything that was going on because it was so obvious that Maya was struggling, but they had people coming in thirty minutes.
"We will talk about this later," Carina said, looking at her, "But for now, go shower."
"Sorry," Maya said, biting her lip.
"It's ok," Carina said gently, "Go shower."
Maya nodded, going upstairs feeling like she had massively messed up by going on that run. She knew she should have just come home and talked to her wife, but she didn't want to put more of a burden on her tonight and yet here she was, making her worry.
Maya got in the shower, quickly washing up before getting out and getting herself ready for the evening.
Just as she finished drying her hair, she heard a knock on the door. She took a deep breath before going downstairs, finding Mason standing there alone talking to Carina.
"Hey," Maya said, giving him a small hug, "Where are Lilia and Josie?"
"Josie is asleep in the car," Mason said, "So Lilia is waiting for her to wake up. She is cutting teeth and getting her to nap has been impossible the past few days."
"Got it," Maya nodded, "Well, come on in. Andrew should be here soon. Can I get you something to drink?"
"Unca Mae, pway," Rowan said, running over to him, grabbing his hand.
"I'm good for now," he said, smiling, "Apparently, I am going to go play."
Maya smiled as she watched her brother go into the playroom with Rowan. She never would have imagined that her brother would be playing with her daughters. She went into the kitchen, finding Carina standing there, leaning against the counter, one hand on her stomach.
"Are you ok?" Maya asked, walking up behind her.
"Yeah," Carina nodded, "Just a little crampy."
"When do you want to tell them?" Maya asked, replacing Carina's hand with her own, gently massaging her wife's stomach.
"I don't know," Carina sighed, "I was hoping we would have talked about this before they got here."
"Sorry," Maya said, knowing her going for an extra run had prevented that conversation, "Do you want to tell them before or after dinner?"
"I don't want to tell them at all," Carina said quietly, trying not to cry.
"Hey," Maya said, turning her around, bringing her in for a hug, "We don't have to. But I think if we don't, it will just make things harder. Andrew is going to find out. Your surgery is at Grey Sloan next week."
Carina sighed, blinking rapidly as she pulled away, "Lo so. Let's tell them after dinner I guess. I don't want to ruin the whole night."
"Ok," Maya nodded, wiping a tear off Carina's cheek, "Again, I am so sorry I wasn't here this afternoon. I promise I will do better."
"Bambina, we are not going to talk about that right now," Carina said, knowing this was going to be a much bigger conversation than they had time for at the moment because she needed to make sure her wife was taking care of herself.
Just then, there was a knock at the door, Carina making sure she had no more tears on her face before they both headed to the entryway where they found Andrew standing talking to Mason who had a toddler in each arm. "Andrea," Carina said, smiling as she walked over to him, giving him a hug.
"Hey Andrew," Maya said, also giving him a hug.
"Hey," he said, smiling, "Thanks for inviting me. I stopped at Rosa's and grabbed some pastries."
"Thank you," Carina said, taking the box from her brother, "Please come on in."
"'io Dre," Nora said, reaching for Andrew, the Italian taking the little girl from his brother-in-law.
Everyone went into the living room, Maya and Carina settling onto the couches as the twins played with their uncles on the floor. Maya took Carina's hand in hers, lacing their fingers together and rubbing her thumb slowly over her wife's knuckles, Carina squeezing her hand tightly.
The adults chatted a little in between when the twins needed Andrew and Mason's attention.
About thirty minutes after Andrew got there, they all heard the front door open and suddenly, Laila appeared with a very grumpy looking Josie in her arms.
"Hey," Maya said as she and Carina got up, "Thanks for coming."
"Of course," Laila said, giving Maya and Carina both hugs, "Sorry we were sitting in the car. This little peanut has been struggling with her teeth lately. Her gums are so swollen right now, but they just won't break through."
"Poor little bambina," Carina frowned, rubbing her finger over Josie's red cheek, "Nora was always a miserable teether too."
The nine-month-old looked around, seeing Mason sitting on the floor and immediately started fussing and reaching for him.
"Come here Princess," Mason said, getting up and taking the baby who's blonde hair was just barely starting to come in, "Do you want to come play with Nora and Rowan?"
"Baby," Rowan said, immediately abandoning what she was doing when she saw Mason sit down with Josie.
"We should probably order dinner," Carina said, looking at her wife, "The girls are going to be hungry soon."
"Ok," Maya nodded, seeing it was already after 5, "Anyone have any specific pizza requests? We are ordering from Tutta Bella."
"No mushrooms," Laila requested.
"Can you get the one with the ricotta?" Mason asked, "That you got last time I came for pizza?"
"You know what I like Carina," Andrew said before going back to playing.
"I'll go order," Carina said, knowing it was much easier to order from this place in Italian that English and every time Maya tried, it ended up with a lot of frustration.
"Ok," Maya nodded, "You can just have them deliver it, or I can go get it."
"I'll have it delivered," Carina said, not wanting her wife too far from her side tonight, her anxiety too high already.
"So, how have you been?" Maya asked, turning to Laila, "Are you still enjoying being home full time?"
"I am," Laila nodded, Mason's wife having decided to take a leave from her job as a nurse at Seattle Pres when she had had Josie nine months ago, "I am still thinking I will go back for one night shift a week once she turns one though. I don't want to get too out of practice. Plus, I do miss it and if I work nights, Jo will be asleep for most of it so I won't miss her as much. And Mason's first classes aren't until 9 so we won't have to sort out childcare."
Mason was a high school art teacher who also taught adult night classes in the evenings from time to time when he didn't have a big commission from a local business.
Maya was truly so proud of her little brother and how far he had come.
Not long after Maya and Carina got married, Maya had run into Mason on a call. He had been living on the streets but was completely clean and sober. He had gotten injured trying to break up a fight and had needed to go to the hospital. Mason had been furious at Maya at first, wanting nothing to do with her.
However, he did let her and Vic take him to the hospital because he was bleeding pretty badly from a gash in his head and had a lot of pain in his arm. Maya had driven, but as Vic started talking to him about his sister, Mason had been so stunned at what he heard that he couldn't even think of how to respond.
He had been dropped off at the ER and let his sister leave without saying anything to her but had instead shown up at the station about a week later looking for her. It hadn't been easy, but the two siblings had worked hard and now had a very good relationship with each other.
Mason liked to refer to the scar on his head as the thing that brought him his family because it had both brought his sister back into his life and also lead to him meeting the love of his life, Laila, in the ER when he was waiting to be treated because she was working as an ER nurse that afternoon.
"How have you guys been?" Laila asked Maya, startling her out of her thoughts about Mason.
"We've been fine," Maya said quickly, "The girls are loving daycare and work has been going really well for both of us."
Laila wanted to ask a follow up question, noticing something didn't quite seem right with her sister-in-law, but just then, Josie started fussing again.
"I'll take her," Laila said, going over to her daughter, "It's time for another dose of Tylenol I think. And she might want to nurse." As Laila dealt with the cranky baby, Carina came back into the room.
"Food will be here in about forty minutes," Carina said.
"Eat?" Nora asked, abandoning her uncles and sister.
"Are you hungry?" Maya asked, picking the toddler up.
"Si," Nora nodded, "Eat."
"I can make them some pasta and veggies," Carina said, "They probably won't last until pizza."
"I can do it," Maya said, not wanting to put more on Carina tonight.
"I've got it," Carina said, shaking her head. Maya knew that being in the kitchen was something that calmed Carina down much like running did for her so she didn't fight her on it.
"Mommy, pway," Nora said, looking at Maya.
"Zio Andrea and Uncle Mason aren't enough?" Maya said, raising an eyebrow at the little girl.
"No, Mommy," Nora said, looking at her with big brown eyes that Maya couldn't say no to.
"Alright," Maya said, getting off the couch just as Laila sat back down with Josie to nurse her.
Within fifteen minutes, Nora and Rowan were both getting hangry as Carina told them dinner was ready.
"I also have some for Josie if she wants," Carina said, looking at Laila who was holding a much less fussy baby, "It's just pasta and I gave the girls some fruit and vegetables."
"That would be great," Laila said, smiling as she got up, "Thanks Carina."
Laila sat at the table with Josie in her lap as Carina dished up some food for her.
"Baby eat?" Rowan asked, looking at her little cousin.
"Yep," Laila nodded, "Josie is going to eat just like you and Nora."
Rowan smiled, holding out a piece of her pasta for Josie.
"Oh, she has her own," Laila said, showing Rowan the plate, "But thank you for sharing."
Carina smiled as she watched this, trying desperately not to feel the wave of sadness that hit her when she thought about the fact that she wouldn't be seeing her girls with their own little sibling any time soon. She swallowed her tears before setting sippy cups of milk in front of the twins. "
Laila, would you like anything to drink?" Carina asked, "We have water, juice, wine, beer."
"Some water would be great," Laila said, "Thanks."
Carina nodded, grabbing a glass.
Within half an hour, the kids were all done eating, and Josie, who was feeling much better after her medicine, was crawling around on the floor playing with the twins. Around that time, the doorbell rang, Maya grabbing the pizza before bringing it into the kitchen.
"Food's here," she called as the adults headed into the kitchen grabbing pizza.
Maya and Carina let their guests go first, everyone deciding to sit in the living room was the best so they could keep an eye on the kiddos while they are. Once Mason, Laila, and Andrew had gone to sit down, Maya and Carina grabbed plates, both of them just staring at the pizza.
"We have to eat," Maya said, picking up a slice, "They'll know something is up if we don't."
"Lo so," Carina sighed, picking up her own piece, "I just really don't feel like eating. I kinda feel sick."
"I know," Maya said, putting a hand on Carina's back, "Just try to eat as much as you can."
Carina nodded, just leaning into Maya's touch for a minute before grabbing her plate and heading into the living room with everyone else.
"I always forget how good this pizza is," Mason said, taking a big bite from where he was sitting on the floor in front of Laila who was on a chair.
"It's the closest thing to real Italian pizza in the city," Andrew said, nodding, "I mean, other than when Carina makes pizza."
They all chatted for a while until Andrew looked over at Maya and Carina.
"What's going on?" he asked, seeing neither of them had eaten more than a few bites of their food, "Why aren't you two eating?"
Carina sighed, setting her plate on the coffee table before reaching for Maya's hand, the blonde immediately putting down her own plate so she could wrap Carina's hand fully in her own.
"We have something to tell all of you," Carina said, biting her lip as she took a shaky breath.
"It's ok," Maya whispered in her ear, moving one of her hands to rub her back.
"You're scaring me," Andrew said, looking at his sister, "What is going on?"
"I had a routine exam a few weeks ago," Carina said, voice shaking, "And I got the results back from some normal tests and…sorry…I…"
Carina bit her lip, trying hard not to cry as Maya wrapped her arms around her.
"Do you want me to tell them?" Maya asked gently, rubbing her back.
Carina nodded, looking down at her lap. Maya took a deep breath before looking around the room at their family.
"Yesterday, Carina got some results back and after some more tests, we found out…," Maya tried not to let herself break down like she had in the chief's office, "They told us yesterday that Carina has stage 1 cervical cancer."
Maya couldn't make herself keep going, focusing solely on her breathing, eyes closed. All of a sudden, they all heard crying coming from the playroom.
"I've got it," Laila said, getting up and going to check on the kids while the two sets of siblings sat in silence.
"Mamma," Nora cried as Laila came back in, holding the crying toddler.
"Sorry," Laila said as Carina forced herself up, "She just…"
"It's ok," Carina said, taking the little girl, holding her close, "I'm going to take her upstairs for a minute."
"Does anyone want coffee?" Maya asked, standing up, needing to move.
"Mai," Mason said, walking over to his sister, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"I'm gonna go make coffee," Maya said, going into the kitchen.
"I'll take mine and you take yours?" Andrew said, looking at Mason.
The blonde man nodded as his wife walked over to him while Andrew headed upstairs.
"I don't even know what this means," Mason said, running his hand over his face, "Like, stage 1 isn't very bad right?"
"No," Laila said, "No, stage 1 is usually very treatable. Carina will probably be just fine eventually, but right now, neither of them are ok. Do you want me to come with you or do you want to talk to her alone?"
"Let me try first," Mason sighed, going into the kitchen.
"Mai," he said, watching his sister fighting both her tears and the coffee maker, "Hey. Maya. Stop for a minute."
Maya tried to fight him for a minute before she just wrapped her arms around him, crying.
"It's ok Maya," he said, rubbing her back.
This interaction felt both incredibly awkward and at the same time oddly comforting at the same time for both of them.
When they were kids, there were many nights after long workouts and beratings by Lane that Mason would hear his big sister crying through the wall because their beds were on opposite sides of the same wall and he would sneak into her room and try to comfort her.
As they got older, it happened less and less because Maya would just burry her emotions down and not let them out, but there were a few times when she was in high school that Lane had been particularly brutal that Maya had broken and every single time, Mason was there, sitting with her as she cried, letting her vent if she needed to, or providing her with a distraction if he had a good one.
It wasn't that Mason didn't also get these verbal lashings from his father, but he wasn't much of a crier ever and would often just draw or paint to deal with his feelings.
The last time Mason remembered doing this was the night after Maya's state run her senior year. She had won the meet, talks of her being an Olympic prospect already even though the next games wouldn't be for another 4 years.
Maya had a scholarship to run for a college in Seattle and she was planning on living on campus because her scholarship would cover it. She was excited to get out on her own and experience all college had to offer.
However, after that race, which Maya had both won and beat her own personal best time, Lane had laid into her about how she should have beaten her time by 2 seconds instead of 1 and how she was unfocused and how was she supposed to go to the Olympics if she didn't stay focused. He also informed her that she would not be living on campus and would instead live at home so he could make sure her focus stayed where it needed to be.
She had been crushed but hadn't shown it to Lane.
He also had only let Maya eat salad for dinner that night because he hadn't been happy with her weight that he took before the race.
She had gone to bed exhausted, heartbroken, and hungry. Before she even knew what was happening, she was sobbing, trying hard to keep the noise down because she knew if Lane heard, she would have more problems.
Mason had barely heard her because he was getting ready to sneak out of the house to go meet some friends.
However, when he heard her crying, he had texted his friends, telling them he was out for the night before going into her room.
He had spent hours just sitting with his sister, talking to her and getting her to smile. It was the last real moment they had shared together before he got too deep into drugs to notice when she was struggling and Maya just shoved everything so deep that she didn't feel it at all.
This was the first time since they had figured out their relationship as adults that he had seen her break down and just like when they were kids, he just gave her a shoulder to cry on.
Meanwhile, upstairs, Andrew walked into the twin's bedroom finding Carina sitting in the rocking chair with Nora in her lap, the toddler almost asleep as tears streamed down Carina's face.
"Hey," he said quietly, walking over to his sister.
Carina just looked up at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. He sat down on the footrest of the rocking chair, putting a hand on her knee.
"It's going to be ok Carina," he said softly, "Whatever happens, I am going to be right here as much as you want me to be. And I'm guessing you are getting treated by Dr. Cho who is one of the best. It's going to be ok Carina."
"Is she asleep?" Carina asked, unable to see Nora's face.
"Yeah," Andrew nodded as Carina got up, putting Nora in her bed before walking out of the room.
He followed her as she sunk down on the floor outside the bedroom, Andrew quickly wrapping his arms around his big sister as she sobbed. Andrew didn't know what to do so he just started singing a song their mom always sang to them, just holding her close.
"Grazie Andrea," Carina said as the song ended for the second time and her tears slowed.
"Carina, you are the strongest woman I know," Andrew said, looking at her, "You are going to make this cancer sorry it ever dared try to come up against you."
Carina laughed a little though the last of her tears, leaning her head on her brother's shoulder.
"And I will be here every step of the way to help however I can," he said, rubbing her back, "I've always said I wanted more zio/nipoti time so now is the perfect time for me to make that happen. And if you need help with appointments or just someone to come over and hang out with you while you are kicking cancer in the ass, I am here, ok? You and Maya are not alone in this."
"Grazie Andrea," she said, smiling at him.
"I'm assuming you are having surgery?" he asked and she nodded in response, "When?"
"The 15th," Carina said, "So in a week. And then Dr. Cho wants to do 8 weeks of radiation once I heal."
"Ok," he said, nodding, "I can take off the day of your surgery if you want and be there or take the girls or whatever you need."
"I don't know yet," Carina sighed, "We haven't talked about it yet."
"That's totally fine," he said, "Just let me know, ok?"
Carina nodded, letting out a shaky breath as she heard footsteps coming up the stairs. She looked over, seeing Maya carrying a sleeping Rowan in her arms. "
Nora is already out," Carina said, seeing the slightly confused look on her wife's face.
Maya nodded, disappearing into the bedroom for a minute before coming back out, Carina and Andrew both standing up as she did. Andrew walked down the stairs, Carina going to follow him but Maya grabbed her hand, stopping her for a minute.
"Are you ok?" the blonde asked gently, putting a hand on the side of Carina's face.
"No," Carina nodded, leaning into Maya's touch, "But I will be. Are you ok?"
"Not really," Maya said, half-smiling, "But it's fine for now."
"We should probably get back down to our brothers," Carina said after a minute.
Maya nodded, the utter exhaustion from the day starting to hit her. They walked back downstairs, finding Andrew, Mason, and Laila all sitting on the couch, little Josie nursing again. "Hey," Maya said as they walked back into the room.
"Sorry about that," Carina said, wiping tears from the corners of her eyes as she sat down, Maya going into the kitchen, grabbing the box of treats Andrew had brought and some napkins, setting it down on the table.
"You do not need to apologize," Laila said, shaking her head as she adjusted the baby she was holding, "I am sorry you are going through this. I just wanted to say, I can help you with the girls as much as you need and if you ever need an emergency sitter for whatever reason, Josie and I are always happy to have company."
"Thank you," Maya said, smiling at her, "That really means a lot."
"Si," Carina nodded, "Grazie."
"Can I ask what the plan is for treatment?" Laila said, not wanting to be too nosy, but also genuinely wanting to know what Carina was up against because as a nurse, she saw lots of cancer patients come through the ER for various reasons, "Only if you want to share of course."
"I am having a radical hysterectomy next week on the 15th," Carina said, "And then 8 weeks of radiation once I heal. We have another meeting with my oncologist in a few days to go over all the details. But as long as all of that goes as planned, I won't need chemo or anything else."
Laila nodded, moving Josie who had fallen asleep while nursing, handing her to Mason so she could get her shirt back in place.
"Well, if you need any help at all, we can help," Mason said, nodding, "Whatever we can do to help, we will do. You guys aren't alone, ok?"
"Thank you," Maya said, barely above a whisper, trying to keep her breathing steady.
"We are all here for both of you," Andrew said, "All four of you really."
The five of them sat around for another half an hour, just chatting, before Andrew, Mason, and Laila got ready to go.
"Let me know if and when you need anything," Laila said, giving Carina a hug, "You've got this."
"I'll call you in a few days," Mason said as he hugged his sister, "And you can always call me if you need me."
"Thank you," both Maya and Carina said as Mason and Laila left.
"You have taken care of me my whole life," Andrew said, giving Carina a hug, "So now is the time I get to start repaying that. Please let me know what I can do. And once you get everything ironed out, I will work my schedule so I can help with the girls on my days off, ok?"
"Thank you Andrea," Carina said, hugging him tightly before Maya also gave him a hug.
Once he left, Maya closed the door, leaning against it and closing her eyes.
"We need to have a little chat Bambina," Carina said, looking at her wife.
"I know," Maya sighed, pulling herself off the door, "But can we go upstairs and get ready for bed first? I know it's not even 9 pm, but I am so tired."
"Si," Carina nodded, "Come on."
They headed upstairs, both of them getting ready for bed before climbing in.
"Alright," Carina said, looking at Maya.
"I just want to start by saying I'm sorry I didn't come home after my meeting," Maya said, "I know you needed me here, and I promise I won't do it again."
"Bambina, I am not upset that you didn't come home," Carina sighed, "I mean, I was a little bit, but I was more upset that you went for a long run after already running this morning and not sleeping last night and taking care of the girls yesterday. I know you are trying to take care of us, but I need you to also take care of you. I know all of this is hard, and I am so sorry, but I need you to talk to me, or someone, instead of running and not sleeping, ok?"
"Ok," Maya nodded, biting her lip, "I'm sorry. I just don't want to make this any harder for you than it already is."
"Bambina, this is going to be hard," Carina said, "But you telling me how you are feeling isn't going to make it harder. Knowing how you are feeling and feeling like I can tell you how I am feeling will only make it easier. If I constantly have to wonder if you are ok, that is what will make it harder, do you understand?"
"Yes," Maya nodded, "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry," Carina said, pulling Maya into a hug, "Did your meeting with the chief go ok? I totally forgot to ask."
"It did," Maya nodded, "He gave me all off for a week starting on the 14th and said I could have any time I needed."
"Good," Carina smiled, wiping a tear off Maya's cheek.
"How are you feeling tonight?" Maya asked. "Physically, much better," Carina said, "The cramping is all but gone. Emotionally, I am exhausted. I just want to go to sleep and wake up from this nightmare."
"I know," Maya said, readjusting their position so she was holding Carina, "I wish I could take it away."
They just laid there for a minute, Maya rubbing Carina's back as she held her before the Italian pulled away.
"Do you work tomorrow?" Carina asked.
"I do," Maya nodded, "I have my inspection of 19 tomorrow, but I can come home and do the paperwork from here if you need me to."
"No," Carina said, "No, I work tomorrow too, but not until noon. I'll keep the girls home with me until I go in, but I was wondering if maybe…maybe you could come to the hospital and help me tell some of my friends? I don't know if I can do it alone without fully breaking down as evidenced by tonight."
"Of course," Maya nodded, "Did you have a time in mind?"
"I don't know," Carina sighed, "Maybe I should just wait until the next day when I'm off and we could all meet up somewhere, let the kids play, and talk? I don't know."
"Whatever you want to do," Maya said, rubbing her back, "I would be happy to come to the hospital tomorrow, maybe bring coffee for everyone and help you tell them, but I know your shifts can get busy so if you want to wait, that is fine. I just need to know because I need to reschedule the inspection that was supposed to be yesterday for some point soon."
"Let's try for tomorrow," Carina said, "I really have to tell Bailey so I can make an appointment to talk to her before my shift if you could get away for a little bit at like 11:30?"
"I can do that," Maya nodded, "Inspection is at 9, so it should be over by 11. And then if anyone else is free, we can talk to them too. I will be there for you however I possibly can."
"Thank you," Carina said, snuggling closer to her wife.
"I was going to ask you if you would be ok with me telling people at 19," Maya said, "I can wait for you if you want, but if not, I was going to tell at least Andy, Vic, and Trav tomorrow."
"Of course," Carina nodded, "I think it would be best if you told them without me if you can. Every time I have to do it, it makes me feel like I might throw up."
"Of course, I can do it alone," Maya nodded, "And I can tell everyone at the hospital if you want. I mean, with you there, but I can do the talking if that will make it easier for you."
"Maybe," Carina nodded, "I'll let you know."
Maya was going to answer but instead let out a huge yawn.
"Ok," Carina said, "You need to sleep and so do I. Today has been too long."
"I love you Carina," Maya said as she turned off the light.
"I love you too Bambina," Carina said as they pressed their lips together, "So much. I am glad I have you by my side for all of this."
"I am glad I get to be by your side," Maya said as they cuddled together, both of them clinging to each other tightly as they tried to go to sleep.