Chapter 7

When James opened his eyes that morning, he was downright exhausted. It hadn't taken him long to fall asleep last night, but his night was full of tossing and waking up and turning. Anxiety plagued him throughout the night, fear of emptiness and desire to those pills putting him in half-awake state, making him almost feverish.

He glanced at his phone, which showed it was 9 o'clock already. He realized Carlos wasn't next to him anymore. The boy always slept early, so by default he usually woke early too. It was nice of him not to wake James up, even though he knew it must've been difficult for the hyperactive boy to refrain from shaking James awake like a ragdoll.

He walked through the dark basement and up the stairs. He squinted at the light when he opened the door, and the smell of syrup wafted into his nose.

When he entered the kitchen, Carlos and both his parents were there setting the table. Carlos turned and grinned at James. "Good morning, James!"

James nodded back. "Hey, Carlos. Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Garcia." He greeted. Carlos's father turned and gave James an affectionate nudge on the shoulder (he knew how much James hated his hair being messed with, though his hair right now probably didn't look so hot anyways. But it was still nice of him to remember.).

"Mijo! How have you been?" He asked, his infectious cheerfulness and bright smile so similar to Carlos's. Once again James felt a pang of envy that Carlos had these parents, two cheerful, optimistic, bright adults who loved each other wholeheartedly.

Mr. Garcia had called James "son" in Spanish, and James found himself wishing Mr. Garcia was his father.

"I'm good, thanks. The face is healing up nicely." He said, giving him a half-smile. Mr. Garcia laughed.

"Glad to hear, James."

Mrs. Garcia carried plates of waffles and bacon to the table. "An American breakfast." She stated proudly. James knew this wasn't what they usually ate, and was touched Mrs. Garcia put in the effort to make sure James enjoyed it.

Carlos dug in first, as usual, and Mrs. Garcia didn't even bother scolding him for his "bad manners". "Thanks, mami!" He said, mumbling through the food in his mouth.

Mrs. Garcia handed him a napkin. "Carlos, honey, don't talk with your mouth closed." She chuckled, patting him on the back. "Oh, did you take your medicine today?" James ears unintentionally perked up at the question.

He'd forgotten Carlos took medication for his ADHD every day. James wasn't sure exactly how it helped, but Carlos had mentioned before that it was supposed to calm him down and help him focus more.

Carlos shrugged. "Oops! I forgot, but I'll do it after breakfast." He said casually.

James found himself wondering if he could buy ADHD meds. After all, they did help with calming you down, right? Maybe it would help him sleep better, feel less worried all the time, now that he was out of his other pills.

Breakfast at the Garcia's house was the picture of perfect. His parents complimented each other and discussed the upcoming day, and they both asked Carlos about what he and James were going to do. Everyone was happy, and it wasn't forced, like it usually was on the rare occasions James and his family ate together.

Mr. Garcia was a cop and had to go to the police station later, and Mrs. Garcia went out to garden. James and Carlos sat in the basement, watching Finding Nemo (again, since they had fallen asleep in the middle of the movie last night).

As the credits finally rolled across the screen, James turned to Carlos. "Did you take your meds yet?" He asked, half as a joke but half being serious.

Carlos put a hand over his mouth. "Oh no! I totally forgot! Don't tell mami!" He sputtered out, running for the steps leading up to the main floor of the house. James shook his head and followed after him hurriedly.

He followed Carlos all the way up the stairs again to the upstairs and into the bathroom, which was a nice shade of blue and smelled like lavender. Carlos opened a cabinet that looked like a mirror and pulled out an orange bottle.

James felt his heart skip a beat at the familiar sight. But these weren't the same as his pain pills; these were totally different… but they could still help, right?

Carlos quickly popped out an orange capsule, half of it clear and see-through with little orange granules in it like Nerds candy. He threw it in his mouth and swallowed it down with a cup of sink water. He popped the cap back on and threw it into the cabinet, slamming the door shut. "There! All done." He said, walking out of the bathroom.

James hovered at the door. "Hey, uh, I'm gonna use the bathroom if that's okay." Carlos nodded, leaving James by himself and skipping down the stairs.

James shut the door quietly, locking it. He waited until Carlos was all the way down the stairs before opening the cabinet again. He looked at the label on the bottle. It was a long word beginning with D dash something, but in the parenthesis after it said "Adderall XR".

James had heard of Adderall before just in passing. He knew it was for ADHD, but nothing beyond that. He took his phone and snapped a picture of the bottle with all the information on it.

He stared at the bottle, thinking about what it would feel like if he took just one little capsule. Just one.

His heart pounded in him; was he really about to steal one of Carlos's pills?

But even as he thought it he knew there was no turning back now. His mind was already set on the idea, an idea stemming from part desperation and part desire to just feel better, to feel good. Carlos would be okay with it if he knew James was using it for a good reason, wouldn't he?

The answer didn't matter, because before he knew it, James's hands had popped open the cap, and he had snuck a capsule into the pocket of his jacket. He quickly put the capped bottle back onto the shelf and closed the door.

He had just stolen from Carlos. He didn't think Carlos would miss one pill, and it was just a stupid pill, but it still felt horrible. His stomach churned and suddenly, he felt like he was going to hurl.

He ran towards the toilet, opening the lid and heaving into the bowl. He rarely got sick, and when he did, he definitely didn't vomit. He didn't think he'd vomited since the 3rd grade, when all four of them had caught a particularly nasty stomach bug.

He flushed the toilet and sat with his back against the wall, tears forming in his eyes. But even through how terrible he felt, he still couldn't bring himself to put the pill back, to undo his act of theft. And that was so, so much worse.

He'd stolen from his friend, his friend who had never done anything bad to James and who always loyally stuck by his side. He'd stolen from the parents who were like his second family. He had never stolen anything before.

But he would do it again if he had the chance.

That was when James first realized- maybe he wasn't okay after all.

A/N- Short and sweet (well, not sweet, but... short). The other guys should be returning in the next chapter, so don't worry!

Side note... BTR is going on tour! It's so surreal this is actually happening, that they're actually back together again. Their new single "Never Giving You Up" is FIREEE.